1 00:00:08,626 --> 00:00:10,959 [opening theme music playing] 2 00:00:14,334 --> 00:00:15,209 [chuckles] 3 00:00:15,293 --> 00:00:16,709 -Whoa! -[both scream] 4 00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:20,918 Ah! [screams] 5 00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:23,084 [Norma laughing] 6 00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:28,459 -Ah! No! -Huh? 7 00:00:30,501 --> 00:00:31,334 Ah! 8 00:00:32,626 --> 00:00:33,543 Ouch! 9 00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:38,418 [Norma laughs] 10 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,251 [sighs] 11 00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:47,834 -Hey! -[all screaming] 12 00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:03,501 [classical music playing] 13 00:01:31,084 --> 00:01:32,626 [music crescendoes] 14 00:01:44,168 --> 00:01:45,043 [music stops] 15 00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,793 Yay! Hey-hey-hey! 16 00:01:47,876 --> 00:01:51,209 Now, your turn, my young puppy one. 17 00:01:58,668 --> 00:02:00,834 [exhales] Okay. 18 00:02:02,834 --> 00:02:03,918 [grunting] 19 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:10,626 [rose] ♪ Do, re, me, fa, so, la, ti, do ♪ 20 00:02:10,709 --> 00:02:11,834 [screams] 21 00:02:11,918 --> 00:02:16,168 Oh, no! Help me! Help me! I hate you! 22 00:02:19,084 --> 00:02:22,668 Oh, no, you just sent that rose to the Realm of Eternal Screaming. 23 00:02:22,751 --> 00:02:25,168 So, pretty close right? 24 00:02:25,251 --> 00:02:28,168 [laughs] Classic demon prank. 25 00:02:28,251 --> 00:02:31,751 But the Realm of Eternal Sneezing is way more annoying. 26 00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:36,793 Uh, angelic magic is like a scalpel in the hand of a world-class surgeon. 27 00:02:36,876 --> 00:02:39,751 Reality can melt to your will like butter, 28 00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:45,126 while demon magic is like fixing a headache with a chainsaw. 29 00:02:45,209 --> 00:02:48,834 [chuckles] Yeah, fun and easy, what's better than that? 30 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:51,543 Typical demon attitude. 31 00:02:52,668 --> 00:02:53,543 [scoffs] 32 00:02:54,168 --> 00:02:58,668 [sighs] I can see why you're so rusty, poochie. 33 00:02:58,751 --> 00:03:00,376 Let's continue your lesson. 34 00:03:01,501 --> 00:03:05,668 We will try something a little more your level: 35 00:03:06,876 --> 00:03:08,293 Duplication! 36 00:03:08,376 --> 00:03:10,376 [ominous music playing] 37 00:03:13,376 --> 00:03:14,959 [Norma chittering over recording] 38 00:03:17,251 --> 00:03:20,834 And that, my Demoneers, was my reenactment of a Bezelpod, 39 00:03:20,918 --> 00:03:22,168 -a pesky devil… -[mouthing] 40 00:03:22,251 --> 00:03:25,334 …like if a two-headed reptile demon and a vampire had a baby. 41 00:03:25,418 --> 00:03:27,501 [Badyah] Ooh. How many heads does it have? 42 00:03:27,584 --> 00:03:29,251 [Norma] It has two, like I said. 43 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,251 In fact, it would work better if you did it with me. Ready? 44 00:03:32,334 --> 00:03:34,334 One, two, three. 45 00:03:34,418 --> 00:03:35,626 [chittering] 46 00:03:36,876 --> 00:03:37,959 [Badyah mimics roar] 47 00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:40,793 [Badyah] Sorry, it's very loud. 48 00:03:40,876 --> 00:03:44,334 [exhales] Badyah, I wish you were into it as much as I am. 49 00:03:44,418 --> 00:03:46,751 [recording rewinding] 50 00:03:46,834 --> 00:03:47,918 [car horn honks] 51 00:03:48,001 --> 00:03:49,293 Gord, not now. 52 00:03:49,376 --> 00:03:53,001 I'm trying to create the pinnacle of the girls and demons podcasting genre. 53 00:03:53,084 --> 00:03:55,584 But something's missing. 54 00:03:56,751 --> 00:03:59,084 [telephone ringing] 55 00:03:59,168 --> 00:04:00,209 [gasps] Demons! 56 00:04:00,751 --> 00:04:02,501 Gord, care to comment on 57 00:04:02,584 --> 00:04:04,918 which demon plane has the best murder spots? 58 00:04:05,001 --> 00:04:06,043 [toy squeaking] 59 00:04:06,126 --> 00:04:07,334 [groans] 60 00:04:08,543 --> 00:04:11,418 [Barney] I believe in you, you're the best actor I've ever seen. 61 00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,168 [Logs] You've never seen me act. 62 00:04:13,251 --> 00:04:16,168 [Barney] You were acting like you weren't checking me out all summer. 63 00:04:16,251 --> 00:04:17,251 [Logs] Touché. 64 00:04:17,334 --> 00:04:20,751 So, I've been practicing my mom's gi cun 65 00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:23,709 and I made us some lunches. 66 00:04:23,793 --> 00:04:24,793 That sounds so nice. 67 00:04:24,876 --> 00:04:27,709 Um, but I did just get an alert from the Diner-saur 68 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:31,459 that they added a spaghetti and meteorite ball special, and-- 69 00:04:31,543 --> 00:04:34,084 [Logs laughs] We can go to the Diner-saur. 70 00:04:34,168 --> 00:04:36,209 [chuckles] Aw, I love you. 71 00:04:36,293 --> 00:04:39,168 [gasps] Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 72 00:04:39,251 --> 00:04:40,751 Hey! Who, who turned off the lights? 73 00:04:40,834 --> 00:04:43,001 Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 74 00:04:43,084 --> 00:04:44,334 What's your problem? 75 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,876 I told Logs I love him. 76 00:04:45,959 --> 00:04:46,834 [gulps] 77 00:04:46,918 --> 00:04:50,084 So? You said you loved me when I found you that pretzel. 78 00:04:50,168 --> 00:04:51,751 This is different. [groans] 79 00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:54,876 Maybe I'll run away again. Oh! Or fake my own death. Yes. 80 00:04:54,959 --> 00:04:56,918 Why fake it? I'll get the axe. 81 00:04:58,334 --> 00:05:02,668 Lesson one, take this spoon and summon an identical copy. 82 00:05:02,751 --> 00:05:05,459 It's an angel parlor trick. Easy as can be. 83 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:11,126 [objects crashing] 84 00:05:11,209 --> 00:05:14,251 Come back! I just need a sound bite. 85 00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:16,876 [Norma grunting] 86 00:05:16,959 --> 00:05:18,043 [groans and pants] 87 00:05:18,126 --> 00:05:19,668 [speaks indistinctly] 88 00:05:19,751 --> 00:05:20,959 [groans] 89 00:05:21,793 --> 00:05:22,668 [bell chimes] 90 00:05:24,376 --> 00:05:25,209 [straining] 91 00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:28,626 [panting] 92 00:05:28,709 --> 00:05:29,834 [straining continues] 93 00:05:35,709 --> 00:05:37,709 Hey, get your hands off my special… 94 00:05:39,459 --> 00:05:41,584 I don't think so, nerd. 95 00:05:42,626 --> 00:05:44,251 [straining] 96 00:05:44,334 --> 00:05:45,209 [sighs] 97 00:05:45,293 --> 00:05:49,626 Well, I'm not immediately great at it, so I might as well give up. 98 00:05:50,793 --> 00:05:53,918 Poochie, you are going to flap your paws 99 00:05:54,001 --> 00:05:56,793 [ominously] until you get it right. 100 00:05:56,876 --> 00:05:58,751 [whimpers] 101 00:05:58,834 --> 00:06:03,126 You'll probably just talk all over your guest, as usual. 102 00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:06,126 Wait. Do you listen to the podcast? 103 00:06:06,209 --> 00:06:07,793 Is the some Norma cosplay? 104 00:06:07,876 --> 00:06:10,459 [squeals] I'm not emotionally prepared for this! 105 00:06:11,084 --> 00:06:12,668 -[dazed groan] -Think fast. 106 00:06:12,751 --> 00:06:14,459 Want a selfie? 107 00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:15,418 [groans] 108 00:06:17,459 --> 00:06:19,043 [grunting] 109 00:06:19,126 --> 00:06:24,626 Okay, this time why don't you act like you want to excel at magic? 110 00:06:29,376 --> 00:06:33,126 [emphasizing] Please just work! 111 00:06:35,584 --> 00:06:37,584 Maybe I could move to London. 112 00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:41,043 [mimics British accent] Barnabas McGuttonburrows III, at your service. 113 00:06:41,918 --> 00:06:44,501 Great, guess I get Logs all to myself then. 114 00:06:44,584 --> 00:06:46,126 [normally] Who? What? Who? 115 00:06:46,209 --> 00:06:49,543 Or maybe I'll just dump him. That'll really mess with his head. 116 00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:50,793 See you later, loser. 117 00:06:53,168 --> 00:06:56,251 Wait, wait, wait. Are you a demon? Wanna be on my podcast? 118 00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:57,918 You mean my podcast? 119 00:06:59,168 --> 00:07:03,251 Barney, look. have an evil twin. And she listens to the podcast. 120 00:07:03,334 --> 00:07:06,001 And have I mentioned that we look exactly the same? 121 00:07:06,084 --> 00:07:08,334 Except for style, obvi. 122 00:07:08,418 --> 00:07:10,168 Turtlenecks in the summer? 123 00:07:10,251 --> 00:07:11,959 What are you, a turtle? 124 00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,126 Wow. My fan base is really toxic. 125 00:07:15,709 --> 00:07:18,959 Wait. Argh, come on. You have one, too? 126 00:07:19,043 --> 00:07:23,918 Catch you later, Nerd-ma, I got a date. Enjoy being single forever. 127 00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:29,209 Okay, I feel like I should apologize on behalf of whatever that thing is. 128 00:07:29,293 --> 00:07:33,043 Guys! You'll never guess. 129 00:07:33,126 --> 00:07:34,126 [both] Evil twin? 130 00:07:34,209 --> 00:07:36,668 Hey, friend-bags. 131 00:07:36,751 --> 00:07:40,334 Anyone for a game of how long can we hug each other? 132 00:07:40,418 --> 00:07:42,501 Ugh! She's horrifying. 133 00:07:42,584 --> 00:07:43,751 How did they get here? 134 00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:46,084 Ah, there must be something in my demon books 135 00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:49,001 -about doppelgangers, mimics, mirror folk. -[Evil Norma yawns] 136 00:07:49,084 --> 00:07:51,709 Well, you do that and I'll record the pod. 137 00:07:51,793 --> 00:07:54,793 I'm gonna be real with you, it's gonna be mostly fart sounds. 138 00:07:55,459 --> 00:07:57,043 I think we better stop them. 139 00:07:57,126 --> 00:07:59,293 Agreed. [panting] 140 00:07:59,376 --> 00:08:00,709 -[door closes] -[cooing] 141 00:08:00,793 --> 00:08:02,709 Hey! Don't leave me with her. 142 00:08:02,793 --> 00:08:04,334 [Barney panting] 143 00:08:06,751 --> 00:08:08,293 -[Evil Barney laughs] -[gasps] 144 00:08:10,459 --> 00:08:11,459 [exclaims] 145 00:08:14,251 --> 00:08:18,168 Oh, hey, Barney, we're all out of the T-rex-attack-a-roni and cheese. 146 00:08:18,251 --> 00:08:20,751 Wait, didn't I just seat you? 147 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,543 That was my, uh, twin. 148 00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:26,501 May I? [clears throat] 149 00:08:26,584 --> 00:08:31,418 Barney Guttman, head to the counter, you've won a free… meatball. 150 00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:32,543 BRB, baby. 151 00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:36,209 [grunts] 152 00:08:36,293 --> 00:08:38,001 You're not my meatball. 153 00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,793 This is my date with Logs. 154 00:08:39,876 --> 00:08:43,584 This is my date with Logs and he's all over me. 155 00:08:43,668 --> 00:08:46,418 -[laughs maniacally] -He's supposed to be all over me. 156 00:08:46,501 --> 00:08:49,543 Aw, this is just like me and my twin. 157 00:08:49,626 --> 00:08:51,084 Happy birthday, Barney. 158 00:08:53,459 --> 00:08:54,751 [Evil Barney] Huh? 159 00:08:54,876 --> 00:08:59,001 [T-Rex] Happy birthday, Barney! [laughs] Birthday hug. 160 00:09:00,834 --> 00:09:03,501 Logs, hi! Sorry I'm late. 161 00:09:03,584 --> 00:09:09,501 You were here first, and hey, um, also happy birthday. 162 00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:10,876 Why didn't you tell me? 163 00:09:10,959 --> 00:09:14,251 Um, it was a different Barney… Guttman. 164 00:09:16,459 --> 00:09:18,793 Wasn't your hair green a minute ago? 165 00:09:18,876 --> 00:09:21,793 Huh? Oh, I just dyed it back, I missed the blue. 166 00:09:21,876 --> 00:09:24,418 [laughs nervously] Uh, wha… What were we talking about? 167 00:09:24,501 --> 00:09:25,751 Uh, listing the best ways 168 00:09:25,834 --> 00:09:28,584 -to drop fire ants down people's pants. -[T-rex] Birthday hug! 169 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,043 [Barney chuckles] Oh. Yeah. A classic. 170 00:09:31,126 --> 00:09:36,043 What I wanted to talk about was those three little words you said. 171 00:09:36,126 --> 00:09:38,001 How about we order some food first, huh? 172 00:09:38,084 --> 00:09:40,376 Yes, of, of course. Sorry. 173 00:09:40,459 --> 00:09:42,918 You wanted the spaghetti meteorite thing, didn't you? 174 00:09:43,001 --> 00:09:45,626 I'll have whatever you're having, swee-- [exclaims] 175 00:09:45,709 --> 00:09:48,293 The caveman club sandwich looks pretty good. 176 00:09:48,376 --> 00:09:50,209 Everything okay down there? 177 00:09:50,293 --> 00:09:52,168 Just finding a coin I dropped. 178 00:09:52,251 --> 00:09:53,959 Don't ruin this for me. 179 00:09:54,668 --> 00:09:55,543 [grunts] 180 00:09:55,626 --> 00:09:57,084 He's my boyfriend too. 181 00:09:58,209 --> 00:10:01,668 Hey, look what I won for you. 182 00:10:01,751 --> 00:10:03,251 You got that for me? 183 00:10:03,334 --> 00:10:06,876 Oh, yeah. Cause I love-- [screams] 184 00:10:06,959 --> 00:10:09,251 That color on you. Is that a new shirt? 185 00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:13,418 Ugh, yeah. Barborah had reduced the thread count 186 00:10:13,501 --> 00:10:16,584 'cause she thought the old shirts were making us complacent. 187 00:10:16,668 --> 00:10:19,626 These new ones are like wearing a cheese grater. 188 00:10:19,709 --> 00:10:20,959 Ugh. 189 00:10:21,043 --> 00:10:24,543 I really miss my old shirt. This one isn't any good. 190 00:10:24,626 --> 00:10:27,168 Why don't you, uh, take it off then? 191 00:10:30,543 --> 00:10:34,751 That's lazy gluttons offer code… [roars weakly] 192 00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:39,626 And now, fellow Demoneers, back to Paranorma, with Badyah and Norma. 193 00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:42,626 So, Evil Norma, where did you come from? 194 00:10:42,709 --> 00:10:44,918 [scoffs] Where did you come from? 195 00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:47,001 I take it they don't have podcasts there 196 00:10:47,084 --> 00:10:50,001 because you seriously need to work on your hosting skills. 197 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:51,043 I have notes. 198 00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:53,501 Sorry. She's overly critical. 199 00:10:53,584 --> 00:10:58,459 First of all, that theme song put me in a coma. 200 00:10:58,543 --> 00:11:01,459 [gasps] I composed that. You said you liked it. 201 00:11:01,543 --> 00:11:03,959 Ugh. And what's with the Demoneers thing? 202 00:11:04,043 --> 00:11:06,751 You can't label your fans when you don't have any. 203 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,501 Ugh! My mom listens. 204 00:11:08,584 --> 00:11:12,918 Maybe we should get her to host instead. Maybe she'd join in with the demon roar. 205 00:11:13,001 --> 00:11:14,668 Look, the reason I didn't-- 206 00:11:14,751 --> 00:11:17,751 [chuckles] Should we ask my evil twin some listener questions? 207 00:11:17,834 --> 00:11:19,084 Here's a question. 208 00:11:19,168 --> 00:11:24,209 Why don't we rename this Paranorma with Norma and Norma? 209 00:11:26,751 --> 00:11:32,751 Let's get started ghoulfriends. Courtsy, you wanna take a seat? 210 00:11:32,834 --> 00:11:34,043 I'm good right here. 211 00:11:34,126 --> 00:11:35,501 Very well. 212 00:11:35,584 --> 00:11:38,876 Welcome to the first demon support group. 213 00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:42,668 We know being a demon on the neutral plane can be tough, 214 00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:46,959 but this is a safe space to share our grievances. 215 00:11:47,668 --> 00:11:50,376 Who'd like to share first? 216 00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:54,626 Becoming a vampire totally ruined my makeup tutorials. 217 00:11:54,709 --> 00:11:57,334 Having no reflection is not it. 218 00:11:57,418 --> 00:12:01,001 I wish the park would let me take off nights with the full moon. 219 00:12:01,084 --> 00:12:05,251 You know, after sucking the sleep out of the 50th child of the night, 220 00:12:05,334 --> 00:12:08,084 you have to take a good look at yourself in the mirror 221 00:12:08,168 --> 00:12:10,918 and think, "Am I the problem?" 222 00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,918 Well, at least you can look in a mirror. 223 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:16,459 [Courtney] You guys all sound like you hate being demons. 224 00:12:16,543 --> 00:12:19,626 [demon in raspy voice] I am proud of my demonic heritage. 225 00:12:19,709 --> 00:12:23,501 I just wish the world were kinder to us. 226 00:12:23,584 --> 00:12:26,626 Okay, but, legit, that one gives me the creeps. 227 00:12:26,709 --> 00:12:29,168 This world isn't meant for us demons. 228 00:12:29,251 --> 00:12:31,584 We can choose to be outcasts 229 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:36,626 or we can adapt, evolve, assimilate, 230 00:12:36,709 --> 00:12:39,543 and maybe then find happiness. 231 00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:43,084 I have assimilated. 232 00:12:43,168 --> 00:12:45,959 I've been really good ever since I saved the world. 233 00:12:46,043 --> 00:12:48,168 No worries. You're welcome. 234 00:12:48,251 --> 00:12:51,084 So why aren't you happy yet? 235 00:12:51,168 --> 00:12:54,543 Ugh, I don't know. I don't know what's wrong with me. 236 00:12:54,626 --> 00:12:57,293 All I know is that I don't need your help. 237 00:12:57,376 --> 00:13:00,584 You think you can solve everyone's problems, but you can't. 238 00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:01,668 Ugh. 239 00:13:01,751 --> 00:13:05,626 I am so glad you've decided to join us. 240 00:13:05,709 --> 00:13:06,834 Huh? 241 00:13:09,751 --> 00:13:10,709 [groans] 242 00:13:12,209 --> 00:13:14,001 [Pugsley grunting] 243 00:13:14,084 --> 00:13:16,418 [panting] I need a break. 244 00:13:16,501 --> 00:13:21,168 [scoffs] I thought you were once a powerful vessel to a demon king. 245 00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:22,751 What's become of you? 246 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:24,168 Again! 247 00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:25,459 [Pugsley sighs] 248 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:28,543 Okay. [straining] 249 00:13:30,209 --> 00:13:32,084 -Hello, friend. -Hello, friend! 250 00:13:32,168 --> 00:13:33,376 Hey. Good day. 251 00:13:33,459 --> 00:13:35,001 Top of the morning. 252 00:13:35,084 --> 00:13:36,709 -Hey. -Hi, friend. 253 00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:40,293 [Logs] And I was just like, "Wow, that's a thing you can do?" 254 00:13:40,376 --> 00:13:43,251 And ever since then I've wanted to act. 255 00:13:43,334 --> 00:13:46,668 I've always admired your drive, Barney. I just put all my dreams on hold. 256 00:13:46,751 --> 00:13:48,584 [slurping] 257 00:13:49,793 --> 00:13:50,793 [sighs] 258 00:13:51,584 --> 00:13:53,001 Yo, are we gonna split or what? 259 00:13:53,084 --> 00:13:55,751 Oh. I thought we, we were steady. 260 00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,459 No, I mean get out. This place is a dump. 261 00:13:58,543 --> 00:14:00,793 I heard Australia's pretty cool. We could try there. 262 00:14:00,876 --> 00:14:03,001 Come on, Logs. Let's dine and dash. 263 00:14:03,084 --> 00:14:04,168 That's it! 264 00:14:05,126 --> 00:14:08,459 Okay, finally! Which one of you is my boyfriend? 265 00:14:08,543 --> 00:14:10,751 -I am. No, it's me. -I am. No, it's me. 266 00:14:10,834 --> 00:14:12,626 Logs, I can explain. 267 00:14:12,709 --> 00:14:15,709 Oh, I'd personally love to hear you take a stab at this one, buddy. 268 00:14:15,793 --> 00:14:18,668 You think I didn't notice what was going on? 269 00:14:18,751 --> 00:14:20,751 Why is every date with you like this? 270 00:14:20,834 --> 00:14:22,209 It's not as bad as it-- 271 00:14:22,293 --> 00:14:24,793 Hi, Barney. Hi, Barney. Hi, Barney. 272 00:14:24,876 --> 00:14:26,709 -Hi, Barney's friend. -Hi, other Barney. 273 00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:28,001 -Hi, Barney. -Hi, Barney. 274 00:14:28,501 --> 00:14:29,334 One second. 275 00:14:29,418 --> 00:14:31,126 [slurping] 276 00:14:32,918 --> 00:14:34,668 [Norma and Evil Norma laughing] 277 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:39,626 Okay, well, you clearly don't want me here, so… 278 00:14:40,376 --> 00:14:43,001 That's not it. That's the opposite of it. 279 00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:44,959 Well, it doesn't feel like that. 280 00:14:45,043 --> 00:14:46,709 Badyah, wait! [grunts] 281 00:14:46,793 --> 00:14:47,668 [door slams] 282 00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:49,084 [Evil Norma chuckles] 283 00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:50,543 What's your problem? 284 00:14:50,626 --> 00:14:51,459 Her. 285 00:14:51,543 --> 00:14:54,709 Badyah isn't the problem. I-I'm crazy about her. 286 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,709 All her little details make me happy. 287 00:14:56,793 --> 00:14:58,751 Everything she says echoes in my brain. 288 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:01,918 It's complicated, but it is not like it's a crush or anything. 289 00:15:03,668 --> 00:15:06,043 Oh, whoa. It's a crush. 290 00:15:07,584 --> 00:15:08,459 Bingo. 291 00:15:09,043 --> 00:15:11,126 Wait, how do you know I like her? 292 00:15:11,209 --> 00:15:13,834 [sighs] I'm you, dumb-brain. 293 00:15:13,918 --> 00:15:16,543 I like her too, unfortunately. 294 00:15:16,626 --> 00:15:18,543 Then why were you so mean to her? 295 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:22,918 To make you finally admit it. And now my work here is done. 296 00:15:23,001 --> 00:15:25,459 Enigmatic fade away, fade away. 297 00:15:25,543 --> 00:15:27,626 -[mimicking echo] Away… -[groans] 298 00:15:32,001 --> 00:15:34,376 [Courtney] All I cared about was getting home, 299 00:15:34,459 --> 00:15:36,126 but then I got there, 300 00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:39,209 everything I wanted, and I still felt lost. 301 00:15:39,293 --> 00:15:42,584 All the fire and brimstone in the multi-plane 302 00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:45,043 can't absolve a demon of their guilt. 303 00:15:45,126 --> 00:15:48,668 We all have to push that down. 304 00:15:48,751 --> 00:15:50,251 I don't have any guilt. 305 00:15:50,334 --> 00:15:53,084 I don't even remember what got me banished in the first place. 306 00:15:53,168 --> 00:15:57,168 Oh, what could be so bad about me that they can't even let me know? 307 00:15:57,251 --> 00:15:58,084 [sniffles] 308 00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:04,209 [crying] What's happening to my eyes? Are you doing a spell? 309 00:16:04,293 --> 00:16:05,459 Why are they leaking? 310 00:16:05,543 --> 00:16:07,918 [sobs] Why am I still talking? 311 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:08,918 [sniffles] 312 00:16:10,293 --> 00:16:11,876 Somebody else talk. 313 00:16:11,959 --> 00:16:15,084 Banished by the angels, shunned by the demons, 314 00:16:15,168 --> 00:16:18,543 you've even repressed your biggest mistake. 315 00:16:18,626 --> 00:16:21,251 But if you just open up-- 316 00:16:21,334 --> 00:16:24,668 Nope, I'm closed. Shut down, out of service. Goodbye. 317 00:16:25,959 --> 00:16:26,918 [door slams shut] 318 00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:30,501 Can we take five? 319 00:16:30,584 --> 00:16:33,793 Uh, we can take 500. [laughs] 320 00:16:33,876 --> 00:16:35,834 You're still not going to get it right. 321 00:16:38,751 --> 00:16:42,376 Hey, buddy, we, uh, got a situation. 322 00:16:42,918 --> 00:16:44,459 Hey, uh, everything okay? 323 00:16:44,543 --> 00:16:47,209 If you're here to give me head scratches, then go away. 324 00:16:47,293 --> 00:16:50,543 I don't deserve them. I'm not good enough. 325 00:16:50,626 --> 00:16:52,543 I'm gonna be useless forever. 326 00:16:52,626 --> 00:16:55,168 Pugsley, you've never been useless. 327 00:16:55,251 --> 00:16:58,043 But I can't even do a measly duplication spell. 328 00:16:58,126 --> 00:17:01,793 [grunt] I bet all the other ex-demonic-king-possessed-talking-dogs- 329 00:17:01,876 --> 00:17:04,043 trained-by-a-big-creepy-hand can do it. 330 00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,126 You're worth so much more than what he can get you to do. 331 00:17:10,209 --> 00:17:11,668 Don't listen to him. 332 00:17:11,751 --> 00:17:13,418 Fingers? Why not? 333 00:17:14,084 --> 00:17:15,001 Just a hunch. 334 00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:15,918 [crunching] 335 00:17:19,959 --> 00:17:24,668 Just, your powers, your talent, they're yours, not his. 336 00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:27,834 You get to decide how to use them, or not use them, okay? 337 00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:30,418 And head scratches are absolutely deserved. 338 00:17:31,001 --> 00:17:31,876 I'll try. 339 00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:36,126 Oh, and hey… Same hat. 340 00:17:36,918 --> 00:17:39,709 Oh. [laughs] Where did this come from? 341 00:17:46,668 --> 00:17:47,959 [grunting] 342 00:17:53,334 --> 00:17:56,043 Badyah! I can explain. 343 00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:57,543 Can you though? 344 00:17:57,626 --> 00:18:00,293 -Oh, well, not that, actually, no. -[barking] 345 00:18:00,376 --> 00:18:03,126 Uh, but I mean back there. I'm sorry I didn't stick up for you. 346 00:18:03,209 --> 00:18:05,876 I just didn't even think you liked being part of the podcast. 347 00:18:05,959 --> 00:18:08,584 -Of course I do. -[barking continues] 348 00:18:08,668 --> 00:18:10,209 Sorry, can you take a Pugsley? 349 00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:12,459 [Pugsley] Oh, look more friends! Yay! 350 00:18:12,543 --> 00:18:14,709 But you're not into demons as much as me. 351 00:18:14,793 --> 00:18:18,834 I don't do the pod because of demons, I do it to spend time with you. 352 00:18:18,918 --> 00:18:19,834 Really? 353 00:18:19,918 --> 00:18:21,668 Really. Really. 354 00:18:21,751 --> 00:18:25,543 And I didn't roar as loud as you because you're always popping on the mic 355 00:18:25,626 --> 00:18:26,793 and we need to sort that out. 356 00:18:26,876 --> 00:18:30,459 Hey, stop, licking my hand. Let's talk about this later, okay? 357 00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:32,126 [rumbling] 358 00:18:32,209 --> 00:18:33,668 [Courtney screams] 359 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,543 Yeah. Good call. 360 00:18:38,293 --> 00:18:39,709 [Pugsleys] Jump! Jump! Jump! 361 00:18:41,459 --> 00:18:42,543 [cheering] 362 00:18:46,793 --> 00:18:48,084 -Bang! -[laughing] 363 00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,126 [both exclaim] 364 00:18:49,751 --> 00:18:51,293 [barking] 365 00:18:51,376 --> 00:18:54,876 [screams] This is too much! It's terrifying! 366 00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:00,918 [Pugsley grunts] 367 00:19:03,668 --> 00:19:04,668 [Pugsleys barking] 368 00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:07,709 Barney! Did you wish really, really hard? 369 00:19:07,793 --> 00:19:10,168 -[Pugsley] Barney! -Hey, you think I'm enjoying this? 370 00:19:10,251 --> 00:19:13,251 -[Pugsley] We found Barney! Watch this! -Stop, stop, get off me. 371 00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:15,584 All right, let's get this party started. 372 00:19:16,168 --> 00:19:17,918 Wanna see who can get a high score? 373 00:19:18,001 --> 00:19:21,293 With your bad posture and sloppy aim? You're on. 374 00:19:21,376 --> 00:19:23,543 We mustn't harm the good boys. 375 00:19:23,626 --> 00:19:27,876 Look at their squeaky little faces and their waggy little butts and their-- 376 00:19:27,959 --> 00:19:31,293 Whoa! Get these demonic brats off me! 377 00:19:31,376 --> 00:19:33,043 -[barking continues] -Oh, shut up. 378 00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:35,334 I'm not ashamed of being a demon, 379 00:19:35,418 --> 00:19:38,834 and I'm gonna solve this the demon way. 380 00:19:38,918 --> 00:19:40,709 -Sorry, Barney. -For what? 381 00:19:42,001 --> 00:19:43,209 [screams] Ow! 382 00:19:43,293 --> 00:19:44,709 -[Pugsleys gasp] -Something's wrong. 383 00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:45,959 -Somebody hurt Barney. -Who? 384 00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:48,834 -Did you hear who hurt Barney? -It was me. I bit your Barney. 385 00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:51,209 -She hurt Barney! -How dare you? 386 00:19:51,293 --> 00:19:53,126 -Wait, is Barney okay? -Get her! 387 00:19:53,209 --> 00:19:55,418 -[Pugsleys] Get her! -Defeat the biter. 388 00:19:55,501 --> 00:19:56,918 Must help Barney. Get back here! 389 00:19:57,001 --> 00:20:01,459 -You monster, you monster. -Get back here! 390 00:20:04,209 --> 00:20:05,043 [elevator dings] 391 00:20:07,251 --> 00:20:08,834 [Pugsleys barking] 392 00:20:11,376 --> 00:20:13,709 [rumbling] 393 00:20:15,084 --> 00:20:16,418 Smell you later. 394 00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:17,751 [elevator dings] 395 00:20:22,001 --> 00:20:23,293 [whistles] 396 00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:26,918 Why do you want to be a demon so much? 397 00:20:27,001 --> 00:20:30,001 Ugh. Because I am a demon. 398 00:20:30,084 --> 00:20:32,084 Are you sure about that? 399 00:20:35,418 --> 00:20:37,959 Ugh. That's so unfair. 400 00:20:38,043 --> 00:20:40,043 Just as it was about to get interesting. 401 00:20:40,126 --> 00:20:43,001 Hey, I got you your meteorite meatball. 402 00:20:43,084 --> 00:20:44,293 [inhales deeply] 403 00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:47,001 I know how much you love cold Italian food, but-- 404 00:20:47,084 --> 00:20:48,376 Don't mind if I do. 405 00:20:49,501 --> 00:20:51,501 Logs, I'm not gonna apologize. 406 00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:54,293 Earlier I told you I loved you, 407 00:20:54,376 --> 00:20:56,418 and I don't want you to say it back 408 00:20:56,501 --> 00:20:59,293 until you can accept that this is the real me. 409 00:20:59,376 --> 00:21:01,293 That's the real you? 410 00:21:03,209 --> 00:21:05,126 [swallows and belches] 411 00:21:05,209 --> 00:21:07,251 No, not him. This. 412 00:21:07,918 --> 00:21:10,668 Sometimes I'm gonna be possessed by a demon, 413 00:21:10,751 --> 00:21:13,834 or have an evil twin, or be a robot duplicate, 414 00:21:13,918 --> 00:21:15,043 or I don't know. 415 00:21:15,126 --> 00:21:17,793 But I'll stop pretending like you can have a normal life with me… 416 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,751 -I love you. -…'cause if you don't love me 417 00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:22,459 at my evil-twin-blow-burping- after-eating-a-giant-meatball, 418 00:21:22,543 --> 00:21:25,168 you don't deserve me at my-- Wait. What? 419 00:21:25,251 --> 00:21:30,084 I love you, Barney. Dude, our first date was a demon invasion. 420 00:21:30,168 --> 00:21:33,251 I've worked here longer than you, I've seen stuff. 421 00:21:33,334 --> 00:21:36,876 And I have baggage too. You should see some of my old vlogs. 422 00:21:36,959 --> 00:21:41,293 I may have seen some of them. Emo Logs was an icon. 423 00:21:41,376 --> 00:21:44,668 I'm just saying, I know what I'm getting into. 424 00:21:44,751 --> 00:21:46,626 You don't have to keep running away. 425 00:21:46,709 --> 00:21:49,168 Nothing gets better by hiding how you're feeling. 426 00:21:57,376 --> 00:22:00,001 But maybe next time… 427 00:22:00,084 --> 00:22:01,709 Oh, don't worry. He's going. 428 00:22:03,001 --> 00:22:04,918 I can't believe I'm saying this, 429 00:22:05,001 --> 00:22:07,001 but you did help me figure out some things. 430 00:22:07,084 --> 00:22:09,543 And, you know what? I don't think you're evil twins. 431 00:22:09,626 --> 00:22:13,209 Nah, you're just us. The worst parts of us. 432 00:22:13,293 --> 00:22:15,043 -You're impulsive. -Judgmental. 433 00:22:15,126 --> 00:22:17,709 -Self-loathing. -But still us. 434 00:22:17,793 --> 00:22:20,043 -If you ever want to hang… -[Evil Barney] Ew, no. 435 00:22:20,126 --> 00:22:22,293 I've reached my nerd capacity for a lifetime. 436 00:22:22,376 --> 00:22:24,959 Yeah. Are you guys always like this? 437 00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:28,751 Standing around, announcing what you learned today? Jeez. 438 00:22:28,834 --> 00:22:29,709 [elevator dings] 439 00:22:30,584 --> 00:22:31,584 Peace. 440 00:22:36,043 --> 00:22:37,043 [all sigh in relief] 441 00:22:37,959 --> 00:22:41,543 I did it. I got my magic back! Look! 442 00:22:45,709 --> 00:22:48,001 Ooh, yeah. 443 00:22:48,084 --> 00:22:49,001 Huh? 444 00:22:49,876 --> 00:22:51,293 [yells and laughs] 445 00:22:51,376 --> 00:22:54,709 [screams] Evil spoon! Evil spoon! Evil spoon! 446 00:23:01,168 --> 00:23:02,334 Where are we going? 447 00:23:02,418 --> 00:23:04,209 I don't know. I pressed all the buttons. 448 00:23:05,001 --> 00:23:05,834 [Evil Norma] Nice. 449 00:23:06,418 --> 00:23:07,834 -[thuds] -[all scream] 450 00:23:09,876 --> 00:23:11,001 [elevator dings] 451 00:23:15,084 --> 00:23:16,043 Huh. 452 00:23:16,126 --> 00:23:18,501 Looks like we're going up. 453 00:23:20,668 --> 00:23:22,459 [closing theme music playing]