1
00:00:08,626 --> 00:00:10,959
[opening theme music playing]
2
00:00:14,334 --> 00:00:15,209
[chuckles]
3
00:00:15,293 --> 00:00:16,709
-Whoa!
-[both scream]
4
00:00:19,543 --> 00:00:20,918
Ah! [screams]
5
00:00:21,001 --> 00:00:23,084
[Norma laughing]
6
00:00:27,126 --> 00:00:28,459
-Ah! No!
-Huh?
7
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Ah!
8
00:00:32,626 --> 00:00:33,543
Ouch!
9
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[Norma laughs]
10
00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,251
[sighs]
11
00:00:46,043 --> 00:00:47,834
-Hey!
-[all screaming]
12
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[Barney] Ah, Logs.
13
00:00:55,001 --> 00:00:56,834
Where to begin?
14
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He has these cute little face whiskers.
15
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He has a great sense of humor.
16
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Huh? [laughs]
17
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[snorts and laughs]
18
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[Barney] He always knows what he wants.
19
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-Vanilla, please.
-Aw.
20
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[Barney] And he always saves the day.
21
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-Yeah! Whoo! Logs! Yeah.
-Yeah Logs! Whoo!
22
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He's just the best.
23
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[cutlery clanks]
24
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[stumbling] Uh, anyway,
uh, he's just neat, I guess.
25
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So, when are we gonna meet him?
26
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Uh, meet…
27
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[gulps] …him?
28
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Well, he sounds like a fine young man.
We'd love to get to know him.
29
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[laughs] Uh, uh, soon?
30
00:01:44,334 --> 00:01:46,918
Yeah, why don't you all meet for coffee?
31
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Patrick!
32
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Great! We'd love to meet them all.
Norma. Courtney.
33
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That, uh, disembodied hand you mentioned.
34
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[chuckles] You, you,
you don't want to meet them.
35
00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:58,918
They… They're a little unusual.
36
00:01:59,001 --> 00:02:02,501
Oh, Barney, they can't be any weirder
than the fact Pugsley talks now.
37
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[chewing loudly] Salient point.
38
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And can I just say the leftover meatloaf?
39
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Mwah! You've outdone yourself
once again, Roxanne.
40
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[hesitantly] Okay.
I suppose coffee wouldn't hurt.
41
00:02:17,918 --> 00:02:19,293
As long as it's casual.
42
00:02:19,376 --> 00:02:22,501
Oh, honey,
is my tux back from the cleaners?
43
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Dad! Please don't embarrass me.
44
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[ominous music playing]
45
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[cheering and indistinct commentary on TV]
46
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[announcer on TV]
And that's it for Wrestle Mayhem 2002.
47
00:02:40,251 --> 00:02:46,043
So, yeah, uh, would you be up
for meeting my parents for casual coffee?
48
00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:47,959
Hmm. I guess.
49
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:50,918
But didn't you run away from them,
like, two months ago?
50
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:52,418
Fair point.
51
00:02:52,501 --> 00:02:53,626
But they're fine now.
52
00:02:53,709 --> 00:02:58,584
And my grandma is not invited,
and they've been really great lately.
53
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Okay. Sure.
54
00:03:00,751 --> 00:03:03,209
I mean, it's kind of a big step, right?
55
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I suppose, but it'll only be coffee.
We do coffee all the time, right?
56
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We'll just have company.
So, back here at 7:00?
57
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No problem. I… Oh.
58
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Heh. Trip hazard.
59
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Let me put this back.
60
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-See me out?
-[eerie whispering]
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[slurping]
62
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[burps]
63
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Beat that.
64
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Okay. See you later for a "casual" coffee.
65
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I'll make sure my tuxedo is pressed.
66
00:03:34,459 --> 00:03:35,876
-[chuckles]
-Oh, no.
67
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-[slurping]
-I'm kidding. We got this.
68
00:03:38,501 --> 00:03:39,709
See you tonight.
69
00:03:39,793 --> 00:03:42,793
[burps] Ha. Beat that!
70
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That's it. House meeting now!
71
00:03:46,334 --> 00:03:50,418
So, that's why I need you guys
to be on your best behavior.
72
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When are we not on our best behavior?
73
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-[burps]
-[exclaims]
74
00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:55,918
-[chuckles] Awesome.
-I did it!
75
00:03:58,334 --> 00:04:01,418
Look, I just want them
to get the best impression of you guys.
76
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:06,168
So just simple conversations.
Some music, some coffee.
77
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Yes?
78
00:04:08,543 --> 00:04:12,376
-We don't have any coffee.
-No! No, no! It's all going wrong.
79
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Barney, as the leader of this team,
80
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I command you to go get ready
and we'll take care of everything else.
81
00:04:17,584 --> 00:04:19,918
Since when were you leader of the team?
82
00:04:20,001 --> 00:04:22,043
-Since now. Beat it.
-[yelps]
83
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,876
Just remember,
the fate of my relationship,
84
00:04:25,959 --> 00:04:30,668
nay, the fate of romance itself
is at stake.
85
00:04:30,751 --> 00:04:31,918
Out.
86
00:04:33,293 --> 00:04:34,251
Listen up.
87
00:04:41,126 --> 00:04:43,376
This is Operation Meet the Parents.
88
00:04:43,459 --> 00:04:47,376
From my extensive research into romcoms,
I know that the parental meeting
89
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:50,626
is an important step
in the relationship timeline.
90
00:04:50,709 --> 00:04:53,043
Coffee won't cut it.
91
00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,126
We need to make this a night to remember.
92
00:04:56,209 --> 00:04:58,793
Well, if I know anything about humans--
93
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You don't, but go on.
94
00:05:00,293 --> 00:05:03,293
The way to a person's heart
is through their stomach,
95
00:05:03,376 --> 00:05:05,918
and as disemboweling is not an option,
96
00:05:06,001 --> 00:05:08,334
how about I fix us up
one of my famous dinners?
97
00:05:08,418 --> 00:05:11,626
[gasps] Ooh, there's some garbage
I've had my eye on for weeks.
98
00:05:11,709 --> 00:05:15,793
And perhaps my, uh, puppy pupil
could perform a magical demonstration?
99
00:05:15,876 --> 00:05:17,834
[chuckles] Show them what I taught you.
100
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:18,918
[Pugsley grunts]
101
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[in sing-voice voice] Ta-da!
102
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[chuckles] Bravo!
103
00:05:24,418 --> 00:05:27,334
All great suggestions,
but we're gonna need some icebreakers.
104
00:05:27,418 --> 00:05:28,959
-Here are some great tools…
-[yawns]
105
00:05:29,043 --> 00:05:31,584
…to break the ice.
First off, you have to greet people.
106
00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:34,293
-You can wave, you can shake their hand…
-[eerie whispers]
107
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:35,376
…you can do a fist bump,
108
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or nowadays people are doing elbow bumps,
I don't know--
109
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[exclaims]
110
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-[Barney] What was that?
-[both] Nothing!
111
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Look what I found!
112
00:05:42,959 --> 00:05:45,793
This was my guide to humanity
when I first got here.
113
00:05:45,876 --> 00:05:49,043
It's full of recipes,
etiquette and fun-tivities.
114
00:05:49,126 --> 00:05:52,959
Oh, really? Where's the chapter
on sacrificing dogs to demon kings?
115
00:05:53,043 --> 00:05:54,751
Are you still mad about that?
116
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:56,834
Ooh, can I take a look?
117
00:05:56,918 --> 00:06:01,084
"Dinner Party Etiquette
for the Authentically Human Person."
118
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[evil laughter]
119
00:06:04,334 --> 00:06:06,126
Hmm. Sounds…
120
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totally non-suspicious.
This will be perfect!
121
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Let's roll out.
122
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[utensils clattering]
123
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[soup bubbles]
124
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This looks delicious.
They're gonna love it.
125
00:06:21,168 --> 00:06:23,043
It smells like rain-soaked cardboard
126
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left in an alleyway… [sniffs] for a year.
127
00:06:25,459 --> 00:06:27,626
Well, that'll be
the rain-soaked cardboard then.
128
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[door opens]
129
00:06:29,834 --> 00:06:31,626
I can't believe you've done this.
130
00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:33,959
See? I told you he'd be grateful.
131
00:06:34,043 --> 00:06:35,751
What happened to casual?
132
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:38,668
Well, there's nothing more casual
than soup between friends.
133
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[gulps] Here, try this.
134
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Ugh!
135
00:06:43,376 --> 00:06:45,918
[Barney, internally] Why do they
always have to embarrass me?
136
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[grunts] Huh? Barney?
137
00:06:48,418 --> 00:06:49,376
Yeah?
138
00:06:50,543 --> 00:06:52,584
Oh, I thought I heard you say something.
139
00:06:52,668 --> 00:06:54,084
-Nevermind.
-[doorbell rings]
140
00:06:54,168 --> 00:06:55,668
Oh no, they're here!
141
00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:59,876
Is this tie okay?
It's meant to be casual but--
142
00:06:59,959 --> 00:07:02,084
Relax, honey. You look great.
143
00:07:02,168 --> 00:07:04,751
Mom, Dad, uh, I'm so glad you're here.
144
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:07,251
Please come in.
Uh, make yourselves at home.
145
00:07:07,334 --> 00:07:08,751
Logs will be here shortly.
146
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:12,543
Patrick's at Vince's tonight,
so you have us for as long as you like.
147
00:07:12,626 --> 00:07:14,293
What a lovely place.
148
00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:19,459
So, where are we having coffee?
Can we avoid that Wild West Tavern?
149
00:07:19,543 --> 00:07:21,959
Oh, don't worry,
we're very banned from there.
150
00:07:22,043 --> 00:07:23,918
I thought we could actually eat here.
151
00:07:24,001 --> 00:07:26,251
Eat? But we just got drive-through.
152
00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:29,709
-Oh, uh, it's just my friends decided to--
-[Norma clears throat]
153
00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:32,834
Norma Khan, at your service.
154
00:07:32,918 --> 00:07:35,376
And you must be the Guttmans.
155
00:07:35,459 --> 00:07:37,709
Fingers! Their coats.
156
00:07:37,793 --> 00:07:39,584
-[exclaims] Oh my!
-May I?
157
00:07:41,459 --> 00:07:44,251
-[exclaims]
-Oh! What was that?
158
00:07:44,334 --> 00:07:46,751
Ah, just a helping hand.
159
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:51,126
May I introduce our company
for this evening's activities.
160
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:53,209
You, of course, all know Pugsley.
161
00:07:53,293 --> 00:07:54,543
Mm, charmed.
162
00:07:54,626 --> 00:07:58,751
And our chef who quite literally
trained in Hell's Kitchen.
163
00:07:58,834 --> 00:07:59,876
'Sup.
164
00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:01,376
Nice to meet you all.
165
00:08:01,459 --> 00:08:05,626
And she is a demon?
Is that an okay thing to say?
166
00:08:05,709 --> 00:08:09,668
I prefer Courtney,
but whatever, meat sack.
167
00:08:09,751 --> 00:08:13,168
Ha, ha, ha! What wonderful banter.
168
00:08:13,251 --> 00:08:14,876
[laughs nervously] Okay.
169
00:08:14,959 --> 00:08:18,751
Let's save the spirited debates
for the cheese course, shall we?
170
00:08:18,834 --> 00:08:22,168
Yeah, speaking of which,
I gotta get back to the kitchen thing.
171
00:08:22,251 --> 00:08:24,668
Norma? What's up with your voice?
172
00:08:24,751 --> 00:08:27,959
Oh, Barney. I'm just being droll.
173
00:08:28,043 --> 00:08:30,418
-Do you even know what droll means?
-[door opens]
174
00:08:30,501 --> 00:08:33,334
Sorry I'm late. The petting zoo escaped
into the hedge maze--
175
00:08:33,418 --> 00:08:35,959
-Presenting Mr. Logan Nguyen…
-[exclaims]
176
00:08:36,043 --> 00:08:39,168
…Chief Health and Safety Officer
for the Phoenix Parks Group.
177
00:08:39,251 --> 00:08:40,626
Your coat, sir?
178
00:08:40,709 --> 00:08:42,209
I haven't got a coat--
179
00:08:42,293 --> 00:08:43,793
-[all gasp]
-[exclaims]
180
00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:46,168
[stutters] I wasn't wearing a coat,
that's my shirt!
181
00:08:46,251 --> 00:08:48,293
Oh yes, I do apologize.
182
00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:52,043
-[chuckles nervously]
-That'll be all, Fingers.
183
00:08:52,126 --> 00:08:54,293
[grunting]
184
00:08:57,751 --> 00:08:59,626
-[laughs nervously]
-Nice to meet you, Logan.
185
00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:02,626
[grunting] It's nice to meet you too, sir.
186
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:03,876
You can call me Logs.
187
00:09:03,959 --> 00:09:05,793
Huh. Nice to meet you, Logs.
188
00:09:05,876 --> 00:09:07,001
[chuckles]
189
00:09:07,084 --> 00:09:09,043
Formally greeting your guests? Check.
190
00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:11,251
Now onto icebreakers.
191
00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:14,376
Norma, it's okay.
We're breaking the ice already.
192
00:09:15,543 --> 00:09:17,626
Firstly, ask your guest:
193
00:09:17,709 --> 00:09:21,334
If you could go anywhere in the world
right now, where would it be?
194
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,418
[all] Hmm.
195
00:09:23,501 --> 00:09:26,918
Mom? Dad? Logs?
196
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:28,668
[slurping]
197
00:09:28,751 --> 00:09:30,501
[sighs in satisfaction]
198
00:09:31,459 --> 00:09:32,376
Hmm?
199
00:09:33,293 --> 00:09:34,251
Hmm…
200
00:09:35,001 --> 00:09:35,834
[screams]
201
00:09:35,918 --> 00:09:38,668
Whoa! This isn't so bad. [chuckles]
202
00:09:39,209 --> 00:09:40,209
[exclaims happily]
203
00:09:40,293 --> 00:09:42,293
Whoa! [screams]
204
00:09:42,376 --> 00:09:46,834
[crowd] Logs! Logs!
Stand here please! Logs!
205
00:09:46,918 --> 00:09:48,793
-[all gasp]
-[man] There we go!
206
00:09:48,876 --> 00:09:49,751
[whimpers]
207
00:09:49,834 --> 00:09:53,459
Logs? Mom? Dad? Where did you go?
208
00:09:53,543 --> 00:09:55,209
[screams and grunts]
209
00:09:55,293 --> 00:09:56,751
[screaming]
210
00:09:57,501 --> 00:09:58,543
Mom?
211
00:09:58,626 --> 00:10:01,209
[repeating]
Stop taking pictures of my butt!
212
00:10:01,293 --> 00:10:04,043
Stop taking pictures of my butt!
213
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,334
[chuckles embarrassedly]
214
00:10:06,418 --> 00:10:09,668
Well, that didn't work.
Okay. Oh, here's another one.
215
00:10:09,751 --> 00:10:13,334
Who would be your dream
dinner party guest, living or dead?
216
00:10:13,418 --> 00:10:15,584
-[all] Um…
-Hmm…
217
00:10:16,376 --> 00:10:18,334
Oh, hey, girlfriend. What's the tea?
218
00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:20,001
Shakespeare?
219
00:10:20,084 --> 00:10:22,543
That's my name.
Don't wear-eth it out. [pops lips]
220
00:10:22,626 --> 00:10:25,251
Hey, Rox, look, it's Shakesp… Wait, what?
221
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:28,709
Rodrigo! From Steamy Shores?
222
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:31,418
Of course. Tell me, mi alma.
223
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:35,459
Is this massage,
as you say, hitting the spot?
224
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:37,876
Hey, sonny, get your hands off my wife!
225
00:10:37,959 --> 00:10:43,459
Ooh! Trouble in paradiso.
I liveth for drama! OMG.
226
00:10:44,376 --> 00:10:46,376
-Hey, Barney.
-Logs?
227
00:10:46,459 --> 00:10:48,459
Of course you'd be my dream guest.
[chuckles]
228
00:10:48,543 --> 00:10:51,293
Logs! You're my dream guest. Who's yours?
229
00:10:51,376 --> 00:10:56,251
[gasps] Internet sensation Angsty Alfie,
the blue-crested parrot!
230
00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:58,876
[sighs] Nobody understands me.,
231
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:02,168
[exclaims in awe] He's so relatable.
232
00:11:02,793 --> 00:11:04,668
Huh. He reminds me of someone.
233
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,084
No, he doesn't.
234
00:11:06,168 --> 00:11:10,168
[screaming] Get it off, get it off!
235
00:11:10,251 --> 00:11:12,543
Hey, don't hurt my skull-antula.
236
00:11:12,626 --> 00:11:16,126
It's one of the rarest demons of all,
and my dream dinner party guest.
237
00:11:16,209 --> 00:11:19,501
[fawning] Aren't you, little guy?
You're so rare, aren't you?
238
00:11:19,584 --> 00:11:20,709
-[evil laughter]
-Ah!
239
00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:22,376
Where are the drinks around here?
240
00:11:22,459 --> 00:11:24,626
I'm more parched than a sack of parchment.
241
00:11:24,709 --> 00:11:26,043
[clicks tongue] Get it?
242
00:11:26,126 --> 00:11:28,084
I'm a comedy writer, too, BT dubs.
243
00:11:28,168 --> 00:11:30,751
Honey, should, uh, we be going?
244
00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:32,959
Ah, just five more minutes.
245
00:11:33,043 --> 00:11:35,793
[evil laughter]
246
00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:37,793
Oh! The book!
247
00:11:38,543 --> 00:11:40,668
-[exclaims]
-[laughter continues]
248
00:11:42,626 --> 00:11:45,459
You know what, that saloon
isn't such a bad idea after all.
249
00:11:45,543 --> 00:11:48,084
I will follow you
to the ends of the earth.
250
00:11:48,168 --> 00:11:53,126
[disembodied voice] No, no, no.
First rule of the perfect dinner party.
251
00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:57,168
Never leave early. Stay till the very end.
252
00:11:57,251 --> 00:11:59,293
-Huh?
-[Roxie gasps]
253
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:03,668
[disembodied voice] You!
Make yourself at home.
254
00:12:03,751 --> 00:12:07,334
-[Saul] Well, if you insist.
-[gasps] Honey, are you okay?
255
00:12:07,418 --> 00:12:10,709
-[evil laughter]
-That's enough!
256
00:12:12,959 --> 00:12:16,168
No. More. Games!
257
00:12:18,334 --> 00:12:21,709
-Dang, Pugsley.
-[all exclaiming]
258
00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:24,584
[dramatically] Thou detestable moor!
259
00:12:24,668 --> 00:12:28,043
Thou womb of death. [wails]
260
00:12:29,626 --> 00:12:32,084
Oh, dang it, too early. [yelps]
261
00:12:32,876 --> 00:12:34,418
-[bones cracking]
-[grunts]
262
00:12:35,334 --> 00:12:36,543
[sighs softly]
263
00:12:36,626 --> 00:12:42,084
Ay, mi amor, I think the time has come
for me to go. Adiós.
264
00:12:43,418 --> 00:12:45,876
[chuckles] He's shorter in real life,
don't you think?
265
00:12:45,959 --> 00:12:48,293
-[door opens]
-[pan clanking]
266
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,668
Dinner's ready.
267
00:12:50,876 --> 00:12:54,751
Well, at least
the weird part's over, right?
268
00:12:54,834 --> 00:12:56,668
Uh… [chuckles nervously]
269
00:12:56,751 --> 00:12:59,209
You're saying that
before we eat Courtney's food?
270
00:13:03,709 --> 00:13:06,543
Wow, this is actually beautiful.
271
00:13:06,626 --> 00:13:08,584
Always bet on red.
272
00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:13,709
[grunting]
273
00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:15,001
Ah. [chuckles]
274
00:13:15,084 --> 00:13:19,584
Ahem! Ladies, gentlemen, dogs.
275
00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:23,668
[all] Ooh!
276
00:13:26,293 --> 00:13:27,334
[Courtney] M'lady.
277
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,126
M'gentleman.
278
00:13:31,084 --> 00:13:32,459
Fellas.
279
00:13:33,293 --> 00:13:34,793
Easy on the finesse, Courtney.
280
00:13:34,876 --> 00:13:36,751
[sighs] Okay, fine.
281
00:13:36,834 --> 00:13:37,751
[Pugsley yelps]
282
00:13:37,834 --> 00:13:38,876
Hey!
283
00:13:39,959 --> 00:13:42,126
Bon appétit, everyone.
284
00:13:47,001 --> 00:13:48,168
[evil laughter]
285
00:13:48,251 --> 00:13:49,334
Huh?
286
00:13:52,376 --> 00:13:53,209
[evil spoon grunts]
287
00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:57,334
Sorry, Mom. That spoon is evil.
Uh, how about you try another?
288
00:13:57,418 --> 00:13:58,293
Huh?
289
00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:03,209
[chuckles] Enjoy your awkward dinner!
[giggles wickedly]
290
00:14:05,251 --> 00:14:06,209
[sighs]
291
00:14:08,084 --> 00:14:09,543
[eerie whispering]
292
00:14:16,501 --> 00:14:18,209
[exclaims]
293
00:14:18,293 --> 00:14:19,918
Is everything okay, Pugsley?
294
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:22,001
This is even better than drain water.
295
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,584
Mmm. This soup is delicious.
296
00:14:31,668 --> 00:14:35,293
Oh, yes. I totally agree,
Mrs. Guttman, great soup!
297
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,084
Uh, thanks, I guess?
298
00:14:39,793 --> 00:14:41,168
[chuckles nervously]
299
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:46,043
So, Logan, uh…
Oh, Logs, sorry, do you like sports?
300
00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:49,418
Um, well, I have
the staff highest score at bowling.
301
00:14:49,501 --> 00:14:53,126
It's, uh, it's right up my alley.
[chuckling nervously]
302
00:14:53,209 --> 00:14:54,168
Because…
303
00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:56,543
Alley.
304
00:14:59,501 --> 00:15:05,043
But, but, but no, I mean, I'm not like
Mr. Wrestling Superstar over here,
305
00:15:05,126 --> 00:15:06,584
but he's getting me into it.
306
00:15:06,668 --> 00:15:09,293
Oh, yeah. I've been showing him
all of the best Wrestle Mayhems.
307
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,543
[gasps] How exciting.
308
00:15:11,626 --> 00:15:13,543
And what is it
you want to do with your life?
309
00:15:13,626 --> 00:15:14,459
Saul.
310
00:15:14,543 --> 00:15:18,668
Well, um, I'm currently
a Safety Officer at the Park.
311
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,209
Logs is going to be an actor.
312
00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:22,584
Oh. Isn't that nice?
313
00:15:22,668 --> 00:15:24,918
Oh, you know, it's just a silly old dream,
314
00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:27,418
it's not like I have experience
or anything.
315
00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:29,876
[Barney, internally]
Why is he acting so weird?
316
00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:31,543
He wasn't like that yesterday.
317
00:15:31,626 --> 00:15:33,834
-Sorry?
-I didn't say anything.
318
00:15:37,209 --> 00:15:40,918
[Roxie] What future has Barney got
with a theme park safety officer?
319
00:15:41,001 --> 00:15:44,793
And acting? Oh, dear.
He's really not going places, is he?
320
00:15:44,876 --> 00:15:46,793
-Mom?
-Yes, sweetheart?
321
00:15:48,668 --> 00:15:49,751
[Barney clears throat]
322
00:15:50,751 --> 00:15:53,959
[Barney, internally] Oh, great.
There will never be someone good enough.
323
00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:56,251
-What did you say?
-I didn't say anything.
324
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,084
[slurping noisily]
325
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,834
[Norma, internally] Ugh.
Dogs at the dinner table? So unhygienic.
326
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,793
[disembodied voice] Yes. [laughs]
More, go on, keep going.
327
00:16:09,876 --> 00:16:12,668
[Pugsley, internally] I can't believe it.
They washed my doggy bed.
328
00:16:12,751 --> 00:16:14,793
I put a whole year's work into that stink.
329
00:16:20,543 --> 00:16:23,918
[Norma, internally] Ugh. He makes so much
noise when he slurps. It's so loud.
330
00:16:26,876 --> 00:16:30,459
[grunts] I do not look like a croissant!
331
00:16:30,543 --> 00:16:32,376
[Pugsley] I wasn't talking
about your head.
332
00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:35,209
-No one is ever good enough for you.
-Be more like Rodrigo!
333
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,209
[Barney] …without you third wheeling!
334
00:16:37,293 --> 00:16:40,043
-You eat like an animal!
-I am an animal!
335
00:16:40,126 --> 00:16:42,709
-[evil laughter]
-[gasps] That voice.
336
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,959
-[disembodied voice] Evil! Evil laugh!
-Courtney!
337
00:16:46,043 --> 00:16:48,168
The recipe. It's not from the book, is it?
338
00:16:48,251 --> 00:16:52,918
Oh, yeah, sure, blame the demon.
She's shaped like a pastry. Why not!?
339
00:17:06,668 --> 00:17:10,918
Hello again, you beautiful unique souls.
340
00:17:11,834 --> 00:17:13,459
Ugh. Harmony.
341
00:17:13,543 --> 00:17:15,793
-What's in this soup? [screams]
-[Harmony laughs]
342
00:17:15,876 --> 00:17:17,709
Only me!
343
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:20,334
You see, this recipe was my backup plan
344
00:17:20,418 --> 00:17:23,126
in case I needed some R and R.
345
00:17:23,209 --> 00:17:26,209
Rest and Resurrection.
346
00:17:26,293 --> 00:17:27,334
[laughs]
347
00:17:27,418 --> 00:17:29,459
-How?
-[Norma scoffs] Same as last time.
348
00:17:29,543 --> 00:17:33,293
You made us vulnerable with stupid games
and exposed our fears with hallucinations.
349
00:17:33,376 --> 00:17:37,876
[laughs] You see,
there is never more insecurity and doubt
350
00:17:37,959 --> 00:17:40,126
than at a family dinner.
351
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:44,251
And this time, I'm not letting you
out of my sight, missy.
352
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:47,876
Your, [mockingly] "Oh, the real world
scares me" schtick last time
353
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:51,001
was so very special episode,
354
00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:54,043
but you can't stop me now!
355
00:17:57,084 --> 00:17:58,043
[exclaims]
356
00:18:00,293 --> 00:18:03,043
Huh? [screams]
357
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:10,293
I see your deepest,
most personal insecurities,
358
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:14,168
and they look delicious.
359
00:18:15,626 --> 00:18:16,626
[yells]
360
00:18:16,709 --> 00:18:19,168
[all exclaiming]
361
00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:20,959
[Harmony laughing]
362
00:18:25,501 --> 00:18:28,751
Mom! Dad! Let them go!
363
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:29,834
[yells]
364
00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:34,709
Why does so much of my life
involve being gripped by tentacles!?
365
00:18:34,793 --> 00:18:37,001
-Help!
-Logs! No!
366
00:18:40,001 --> 00:18:41,834
[Harmony laughs]
367
00:18:41,918 --> 00:18:43,376
[sighs]
368
00:18:43,459 --> 00:18:45,209
-[laughter continues]
-[Barney exclaims]
369
00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:49,709
Okay, gang, you know the drill.
I love y'all, but I gotta go. Bye.
370
00:18:50,251 --> 00:18:51,168
[Harmony] Uh-uh-uh.
371
00:18:51,251 --> 00:18:55,543
It's bad manners leaving the table
before everyone is finished eating,
372
00:18:55,626 --> 00:18:58,251
and I am just getting started.
373
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,668
[laughs]
374
00:19:06,751 --> 00:19:10,834
[laughing] Delicious! So boring.
375
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:14,834
Mmm.
376
00:19:14,918 --> 00:19:16,293
[grunting]
377
00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:17,876
[grunting]
378
00:19:17,959 --> 00:19:19,293
[Harmony] So boring.
379
00:19:19,376 --> 00:19:20,584
I'm so sorry.
380
00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:23,543
If I didn't bring everyone together,
none of this would've happened!
381
00:19:23,626 --> 00:19:26,668
Well, I for one,
am grateful for this little soirée.
382
00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:30,293
You see, my book
had laid dormant for some time.
383
00:19:30,876 --> 00:19:32,209
But I heard you.
384
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:35,834
So scared of this dinner party.
385
00:19:35,918 --> 00:19:40,751
Scared to be a disappointment.
Scared to follow your dreams.
386
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:43,876
Oh, honey, you're riddled with fear.
387
00:19:43,959 --> 00:19:45,668
I know. I'm sorry.
388
00:19:46,168 --> 00:19:47,251
Oh, no, not you.
389
00:19:48,793 --> 00:19:50,709
-Him.
-Logs?
390
00:19:50,793 --> 00:19:55,084
Go on. Tell him how you truly feel.
391
00:19:55,168 --> 00:19:56,584
[sighs] It's true.
392
00:19:56,668 --> 00:19:59,626
I may look confident because it's my job,
393
00:19:59,709 --> 00:20:01,709
but I've been scared this whole time.
394
00:20:01,793 --> 00:20:05,709
I mean, boyfriend's parents,
dinner parties,
395
00:20:05,793 --> 00:20:08,209
I've never done
any of this stuff before, I just…
396
00:20:08,293 --> 00:20:10,709
I just wanted to make
a good first impression.
397
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,334
Logs. I had no idea you felt like this.
Why didn't you tell me?
398
00:20:15,418 --> 00:20:16,251
Huh?
399
00:20:16,334 --> 00:20:18,918
I thought you wouldn't like me anymore.
400
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:21,001
What? That's crazy.
401
00:20:21,084 --> 00:20:23,209
The fact that
you're going through all this
402
00:20:23,293 --> 00:20:26,543
and still such a great guy,
it only makes me love you even more.
403
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,126
Really?
404
00:20:30,376 --> 00:20:32,251
What? No! What's happening?
405
00:20:32,334 --> 00:20:34,251
I'll tell you what's happening. [grunts]
406
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,709
Once again, you thought you could
break us apart by exposing our feelings.
407
00:20:37,793 --> 00:20:39,918
But all you did
was bring us closer together.
408
00:20:40,001 --> 00:20:40,834
Ugh!
409
00:20:45,584 --> 00:20:49,126
[burps] Ugh.
This is so sweet it's making me sick.
410
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:52,793
Logs, there was no need
to feel worried about meeting us.
411
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:56,876
We think you're a wonderful young man.
You feel like part of the family.
412
00:20:56,959 --> 00:20:58,251
You can call me "Dad."
413
00:20:58,334 --> 00:20:59,293
Dad, too soon.
414
00:21:01,293 --> 00:21:03,709
[exclaims] Oh.
415
00:21:03,793 --> 00:21:07,709
I don't mind looking like a croissant.
They're warm and delicious.
416
00:21:07,793 --> 00:21:09,251
-[all laugh]
-Nope. No.
417
00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:10,459
Ugh. [grunts]
418
00:21:11,043 --> 00:21:13,334
Oh, this dinner is ruined.
419
00:21:13,418 --> 00:21:15,251
What have you done? [burps]
420
00:21:15,334 --> 00:21:17,418
You were supposed to be an anxious wreck.
421
00:21:17,501 --> 00:21:20,918
I was keeping all that fear
bottled up inside,
422
00:21:21,001 --> 00:21:24,459
but with your help
I was able to let it go.
423
00:21:24,543 --> 00:21:25,876
So I just wanted to say…
424
00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:29,501
-[grunts]
-…from the bottom of my heart…
425
00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:31,626
[Harmony] Don't say it!
426
00:21:32,209 --> 00:21:33,084
[straining]
427
00:21:34,418 --> 00:21:35,709
[exclaims]
428
00:21:36,584 --> 00:21:37,584
…thank you!
429
00:21:37,668 --> 00:21:40,459
The positivity, it's too much.
430
00:21:40,543 --> 00:21:41,793
[yelling]
431
00:21:51,251 --> 00:21:52,293
[Courtney grunts]
432
00:21:53,543 --> 00:21:54,959
Anyone for dessert?
433
00:21:55,043 --> 00:21:55,876
[all] No!
434
00:21:57,459 --> 00:21:59,584
Is every day like this here?
435
00:21:59,668 --> 00:22:00,668
Unfortunately.
436
00:22:00,751 --> 00:22:02,501
And you're okay with that?
437
00:22:02,584 --> 00:22:03,834
Unfortunately.
438
00:22:03,918 --> 00:22:06,876
Well, then I think
you're perfect for each other.
439
00:22:06,959 --> 00:22:08,834
But maybe next time, we'll host.
440
00:22:10,709 --> 00:22:13,001
-[sighs]
-My first demon slaying.
441
00:22:13,084 --> 00:22:16,001
Pretty cool, right? How did I do?
442
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,168
You did amazing.
443
00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:21,376
I just wish I could have pulled off
some more of my wrestling techniques
444
00:22:21,459 --> 00:22:22,543
and actually helped,
445
00:22:22,626 --> 00:22:24,876
and while fighting demons is a lot of fun…
446
00:22:24,959 --> 00:22:27,293
[sighs] I don't want you getting hurt.
447
00:22:27,376 --> 00:22:30,084
I'm first aid qualified.
I'll be all right.
448
00:22:30,168 --> 00:22:31,584
[sighs] It's not that.
449
00:22:31,668 --> 00:22:35,376
I just keep thinking,
how long can we really do this for?
450
00:22:36,418 --> 00:22:39,876
Well, this is just your summer job, right?
451
00:22:39,959 --> 00:22:42,918
Yeah. And summer has to end.
452
00:22:47,001 --> 00:22:48,168
[laughing wickedly]
453
00:22:51,501 --> 00:22:52,668
[screams]
454
00:23:01,459 --> 00:23:03,793
Begone, foul demon.
455
00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:05,584
-[Fingers] You missed him.
-Hmm?
456
00:23:05,668 --> 00:23:07,793
-I summoned you hours ago.
-[scoffs]
457
00:23:07,876 --> 00:23:10,126
Mm. I need to work on my timing.
458
00:23:10,209 --> 00:23:13,334
I assume the humans
solved the problem once again?
459
00:23:13,418 --> 00:23:17,709
Barely. I-I thought the blue one
might have showed some promise
460
00:23:17,793 --> 00:23:20,584
at his little wrestling party,
but he's a lost cause.
461
00:23:20,668 --> 00:23:23,293
I need to accelerate the dog's tutelage.
462
00:23:23,376 --> 00:23:26,418
[inhales] He still has a lot to learn.
463
00:23:27,418 --> 00:23:29,418
[closing theme music playing]