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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎小羅

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‎該從哪說起呢？

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‎他有超可愛小鬍鬚

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‎很有幽默感

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‎總是知道自己想要什麼

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‎請給我香草口味

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‎而且總是能解救大家

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‎（小心，地板濕滑）

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‎小羅好棒！

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‎他最棒

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‎總之，他還不錯啦

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‎所以我們什麼時候能見他？

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‎見…

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‎他？

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‎他聽起來人很好，我們想認識他

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‎-最近嗎？
‎-對

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‎你們可以約去喝個咖啡

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‎-派翠克
‎-很好，我們想要每個人都認識

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‎諾瑪、蔻妮，還有你說的那隻斷手

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‎他們沒什麼好認識的啦

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‎他們有點不尋常

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‎不可能比小巴會講話還怪吧

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‎有道理

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‎這份隔夜肉捲實在…

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‎蘿茜，妳再次超越自己了

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‎好吧，喝個咖啡大概還行

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‎只要別搞得太正式就好

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‎老婆，我的燕尾服送洗回來了嗎？

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‎爸！拜託不要害我沒面子

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‎第 14 章：啃老

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‎《2002年摔角大亂鬥》到此落幕

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‎你想跟我爸媽喝咖啡閒聊嗎？

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‎應該可以吧
‎不過你不是兩個月前才逃家的嗎？

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‎說得也是

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‎但他們現在還行啦

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‎我也沒找奶奶來

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‎而且他們最近都對我很好

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‎好啊，沒問題

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‎這也算是一大步吧？

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‎應該是吧，不過只是喝咖啡而已

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‎我們常喝咖啡吧？

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‎只是這次會有別人陪

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‎那就約7點在這裡？

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‎沒問題，我…

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‎差點絆倒

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‎我先物歸原位

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‎送我出去吧

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‎換妳挑戰

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‎好，那我們晚點喝咖啡閒聊再見

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‎我會把燕尾服先燙平

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‎不會吧

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‎我開玩笑的啦

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‎我們沒問題的，晚上見

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‎換妳挑戰

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‎我決定了

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‎現在召開內部會議

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‎所以我要你們拿出最乖表現

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‎我們什麼時候不乖了？

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‎-帥呆了
‎-我做到了

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‎我只想讓他們對你們留下好印象

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‎就輕鬆聊聊、聽聽音樂、喝喝咖啡

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‎-請說
‎-我們沒有咖啡

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‎糟糕，全都毀了

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‎巴尼！我以隊長身分

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‎命令你去打理自己

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‎剩下的交給我們處理

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‎妳什麼時候是隊長了？

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‎就是現在

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‎動起來！

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‎切記，我的感情…

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‎不對，這可是關乎我的愛情大事

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‎出去

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‎聽好了

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‎我們要執行“見父母作戰”

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‎根據我對浪漫喜劇的深入研究

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‎我知道見父母

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‎是感情進展中的一大步

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‎咖啡還不夠格

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‎我們得讓今晚變得難以忘懷

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‎以我對人類僅有的瞭解…

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‎等於零，不過請繼續

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‎想抓住對方的心，要先抓住他們的胃

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‎由於不能開腸破肚

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‎就由我來準備幾道拿手好菜吧

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‎後面有一些垃圾，我覬覦好幾禮拜了

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‎我的小狗徒弟可以上台表演魔法

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‎露幾招我教的給大家看

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‎太棒了

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‎這些建議都很好

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‎但我們需要破冰活動

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‎以下是破冰好工具

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‎首先要打招呼

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‎可以揮手、握手、擊拳

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‎最近大家都擊肘，我不知道…

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‎-怎麼了？
‎-沒事

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‎看看我找到什麼

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‎這是我剛到這裡看的人類指南

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‎裡面都是食譜、禮儀和趣味活動

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‎真的喔？獻祭小狗給惡魔王寫在哪？

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‎你還在氣那件事？

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‎能給我看一下嗎？

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‎《真人晚餐派對禮儀》

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‎聽起來…

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‎完全不可疑，一定非常適合

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‎出動！

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‎看起來好好吃，他們一定喜歡

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‎聞起來好像丟在走廊上的淋雨厚紙板
‎而且還放了一整年

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‎看來我加的淋雨厚紙板味道出來了

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‎你們竟然搞成這樣

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‎看吧，我就說他會滿心歡喜

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‎不是說輕鬆就好嗎？

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‎沒有比朋友一起喝碗湯更輕鬆的事

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‎來，試喝看看

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‎他們為什麼一定要讓我沒面子？

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‎巴尼？

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‎什麼事？

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‎我以為你剛才有說話，沒事

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‎糟糕，他們到了

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‎這條領帶可以嗎？

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‎它是輕鬆風格，但…

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‎老公，放輕鬆，你穿得很好看

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‎媽！爸！真高興你們來了

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‎請進，隨便坐，小羅馬上會到

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‎派翠克去文斯家過夜了
‎所以要我們待多晚都沒問題

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‎這地方真不錯

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‎我們要在哪喝咖啡？

128
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‎可以不要去那間西部酒館嗎？

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‎別擔心，我們是那邊的黑名單

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‎我想說可以在這裡吃個飯

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‎吃飯？但我們才吃過得來速

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‎是我朋友決定要…

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‎我是諾瑪汗，很高興為您服務

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‎你們一定就是戈曼一家

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‎手指，幫他們拿外套

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‎-天啊
‎-請交給我

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‎那是什麼？

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‎我們的小幫手啦

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‎為您介紹今晚活動的同伴

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‎你們當然都認識小巴

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‎幸會

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‎還有我們的大廚

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‎她在貨真價實的地獄廚房受過訓

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‎你們好

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‎幸會幸會

146
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‎她是…惡魔？

147
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‎可以說這個詞嗎？

148
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‎叫蔻妮比較好，但隨便啦，肉袋

149
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‎真是幽默

150
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‎好，我們等吃起司時再熱烈討論吧

151
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‎說到這個，我得回廚房了

152
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‎諾瑪？妳的聲音怎麼了？

153
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‎巴尼，我只是在搞滑稽而已

154
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‎妳知道“滑稽”的意思嗎？

155
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‎抱歉，我遲到了
‎可愛動物跑進了迷宮花園…

156
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‎現在進場的是阮羅根先生

157
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‎菲尼克斯遊樂園集團的健保官

158
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‎先生，外套請交給我

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‎我沒穿外套…

160
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‎我沒穿外套，那是我的上衣

161
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‎對喔，非常抱歉

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‎沒你的事了，手指

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‎-羅根，很高興認識你
‎-先生，我也很高興能認識你

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‎叫我小羅就好

165
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‎幸會，小羅

166
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‎正式歡迎客人，完成

167
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‎接下來是破冰

168
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‎諾瑪，不用啦

169
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‎我們已經破冰了

170
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‎首先，詢問客人

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‎如果可以去世界各地，他們要選哪？

172
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‎媽？

173
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‎爸？

174
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‎小羅？

175
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‎還不錯嘛

176
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‎小羅…

177
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‎-可以站這邊嗎？
‎-小羅！

178
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‎精彩畫面來了

179
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‎小羅？媽？爸？你們去哪了？

180
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‎媽？

181
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‎別再拍我屁股的照片了…

182
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‎效果不太好

183
00:10:07,418 --> 00:10:09,834
‎好，還有一招

184
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‎你們的夢想嘉賓是誰？
‎現代或作古人物都可以

185
00:10:16,293 --> 00:10:18,418
‎姊妹，最近有什麼八卦？

186
00:10:18,501 --> 00:10:20,001
‎莎士比亞？

187
00:10:20,084 --> 00:10:22,626
‎就是我，不要一直叫喔

188
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:25,251
‎蘿茜，過來看莎士比…搞什麼？

189
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:28,709
‎你是《熱浪海岸》的羅德里哥？

190
00:10:28,793 --> 00:10:30,209
‎就是我

191
00:10:30,293 --> 00:10:35,459
‎美女，按這裡有按到妳的點嗎？

192
00:10:35,543 --> 00:10:38,043
‎小子，別碰我老婆

193
00:10:38,543 --> 00:10:43,418
‎神仙眷侶出問題囉，我最愛鬧劇

194
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‎巴尼

195
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‎小羅？我的夢想嘉賓當然是你

196
00:10:48,668 --> 00:10:51,126
‎小羅，你是我的夢想嘉賓，你的呢？

197
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‎網路上爆紅的藍冠鸚鵡耶

198
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‎沒人瞭解我

199
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‎牠讓人好有共鳴

200
00:11:03,418 --> 00:11:04,793
‎牠好像我認識的某人

201
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‎才不像

202
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,168
‎把它弄掉！

203
00:11:10,418 --> 00:11:12,543
‎喂！別傷害我的骷髏蛛

204
00:11:12,626 --> 00:11:14,209
‎它是最稀有的惡魔

205
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‎也是我的夢想嘉賓

206
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‎對吧，小傢伙？你真的很稀有吧？

207
00:11:20,751 --> 00:11:22,418
‎酒水放在哪？

208
00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:24,793
‎我比乾燥花還乾燥

209
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:28,168
‎懂嗎？附帶一提，我也是喜劇作家

210
00:11:28,251 --> 00:11:31,084
‎老婆，我們要走了嗎？

211
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‎再五分鐘就好

212
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‎是這本書

213
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‎其實那個酒館也不算太差

214
00:11:45,543 --> 00:11:48,251
‎我會追隨妳到天涯海角

215
00:11:48,334 --> 00:11:50,251
‎不行…

216
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:53,126
‎完美晚餐派對的第一條規則

217
00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:57,126
‎千萬別早退，一定要待到最後

218
00:11:59,376 --> 00:12:00,376
‎好噁

219
00:12:01,376 --> 00:12:03,626
‎請隨便坐

220
00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:05,459
‎好吧，就聽你的

221
00:12:05,543 --> 00:12:06,834
‎老公，你沒事吧？

222
00:12:09,751 --> 00:12:10,751
‎我受夠了

223
00:12:13,126 --> 00:12:16,459
‎別再玩遊戲了

224
00:12:18,334 --> 00:12:19,459
‎靠，小巴

225
00:12:21,793 --> 00:12:24,376
‎可憎的深淵

226
00:12:24,876 --> 00:12:26,834
‎孕育著死亡

227
00:12:29,668 --> 00:12:31,501
‎該死，太早了

228
00:12:37,001 --> 00:12:42,251
‎親愛的，我得走了，永別了

229
00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:45,876
‎你不覺得他本人比較矮嗎？

230
00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:49,668
‎晚餐準備好了

231
00:12:50,876 --> 00:12:55,001
‎至少詭異的部分結束了，對吧？

232
00:12:56,793 --> 00:12:59,168
‎你確定嗎？等等要吃蔻妮的料理耶

233
00:13:04,209 --> 00:13:06,543
‎天啊，這裡還真的很美

234
00:13:07,293 --> 00:13:08,751
‎押紅色準沒錯

235
00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:19,584
‎各位女士、先生、小狗

236
00:13:26,251 --> 00:13:27,334
‎女士

237
00:13:28,959 --> 00:13:30,126
‎先生

238
00:13:31,584 --> 00:13:32,626
‎朋友

239
00:13:33,209 --> 00:13:35,001
‎不用一直炫技，蔻妮

240
00:13:35,584 --> 00:13:36,751
‎好啦

241
00:13:39,959 --> 00:13:42,126
‎各位請慢用

242
00:13:53,293 --> 00:13:55,834
‎抱歉，媽，這根是惡魔湯匙

243
00:13:55,918 --> 00:13:57,209
‎妳再換一根吧

244
00:14:00,668 --> 00:14:02,209
‎好好享受尷尬晚餐吧

245
00:14:18,251 --> 00:14:19,918
‎小巴，你沒事吧？

246
00:14:20,001 --> 00:14:22,209
‎這比水溝水還好喝

247
00:14:30,293 --> 00:14:31,918
‎這個湯真好喝

248
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:35,334
‎對，我完全同意
‎戈曼阿姨，這個湯超棒

249
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:39,251
‎多謝稱讚囉？

250
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:44,084
‎羅根…小羅，抱歉

251
00:14:44,168 --> 00:14:46,043
‎你喜歡運動嗎？

252
00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:49,501
‎我是員工保齡球紀錄保持人

253
00:14:49,584 --> 00:14:51,751
‎我超會滾

254
00:14:53,209 --> 00:14:54,043
‎因為…

255
00:14:55,709 --> 00:14:56,543
‎要滾球

256
00:14:59,543 --> 00:15:04,709
‎不過我當然比不上這位摔角巨星

257
00:15:04,793 --> 00:15:06,626
‎他帶我入門了

258
00:15:06,709 --> 00:15:09,293
‎對，我一直要他看《摔角大亂鬥》

259
00:15:09,959 --> 00:15:11,168
‎好刺激喔

260
00:15:11,668 --> 00:15:13,584
‎那你以後打算做什麼？

261
00:15:13,668 --> 00:15:14,501
‎索爾

262
00:15:14,584 --> 00:15:18,709
‎我現在是遊樂園的安全官

263
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,209
‎小羅要當演員

264
00:15:21,334 --> 00:15:22,584
‎不錯啊

265
00:15:22,668 --> 00:15:25,168
‎那其實是我以前的傻夢想

266
00:15:25,251 --> 00:15:27,334
‎我又沒有經驗

267
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:29,918
‎他為什麼這麼奇怪？

268
00:15:30,001 --> 00:15:31,334
‎他昨天可不是這樣

269
00:15:31,418 --> 00:15:33,834
‎-你說什麼？
‎-我沒說話

270
00:15:37,543 --> 00:15:40,626
‎巴尼和遊樂園安全官有什麼未來？

271
00:15:40,709 --> 00:15:42,959
‎還想演戲？拜託喔

272
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:45,293
‎-他真的很沒前途
‎-媽？

273
00:15:45,959 --> 00:15:46,959
‎寶貝，怎麼了？

274
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:53,959
‎真是的，永遠不會有人讓他們滿意

275
00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:55,084
‎你說什麼？

276
00:15:55,168 --> 00:15:56,251
‎我沒說話啊

277
00:16:01,834 --> 00:16:04,668
‎狗上餐桌？好不衛生

278
00:16:06,709 --> 00:16:09,334
‎沒錯，再來，繼續啊

279
00:16:10,043 --> 00:16:12,668
‎他們竟然洗我的狗床

280
00:16:12,751 --> 00:16:14,793
‎我辛苦一整年才有那個味道耶

281
00:16:20,543 --> 00:16:23,918
‎牠喝湯聲音好大，吵死了

282
00:16:28,751 --> 00:16:30,459
‎我看起來才不像牛角麵包

283
00:16:31,251 --> 00:16:34,251
‎-我又不是在說妳的頭
‎-沒人能讓你們滿意

284
00:16:34,334 --> 00:16:35,209
‎…像羅德里哥

285
00:16:35,293 --> 00:16:37,001
‎…沒有你們當電燈泡

286
00:16:37,084 --> 00:16:38,501
‎你吃東西跟動物一樣

287
00:16:38,584 --> 00:16:39,959
‎我本來就是動物啊

288
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,709
‎那個聲音

289
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,668
‎邪惡笑聲

290
00:16:45,251 --> 00:16:48,084
‎蔻妮！食譜不是那本書上找的吧？

291
00:16:48,168 --> 00:16:50,376
‎對啦，怪惡魔就對了

292
00:16:50,459 --> 00:16:52,918
‎反正她長得跟糕點一樣，不就正好？

293
00:17:06,709 --> 00:17:11,709
‎各位美麗又獨特的靈魂，又見面了

294
00:17:12,626 --> 00:17:13,459
‎和諧尼

295
00:17:13,543 --> 00:17:15,251
‎湯裡面加了什麼？

296
00:17:16,043 --> 00:17:17,293
‎就是我

297
00:17:17,793 --> 00:17:20,584
‎這份食譜是我的備用計畫

298
00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:23,251
‎我需要快活的時候可以用

299
00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:26,209
‎快樂復活

300
00:17:27,334 --> 00:17:28,251
‎怎麼說？

301
00:17:28,334 --> 00:17:29,459
‎跟上次一樣

302
00:17:29,543 --> 00:17:33,293
‎你用白癡遊戲讓我們變得脆弱
‎然後用幻覺暴露我們的恐懼

303
00:17:34,251 --> 00:17:40,126
‎沒什麼能比家庭晚餐
‎更充滿著不安全與懷疑

304
00:17:40,209 --> 00:17:44,251
‎這次我一定不會讓妳溜出視線，小姐

305
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:47,876
‎妳上次假裝怕生的把戲

306
00:17:47,959 --> 00:17:51,043
‎確實非常特別

307
00:17:51,126 --> 00:17:53,668
‎不過妳這次休想阻止我

308
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:10,251
‎我看見你們最深層、最隱密的不安

309
00:18:10,334 --> 00:18:14,168
‎看起來很美味

310
00:18:25,918 --> 00:18:27,418
‎媽！爸！

311
00:18:27,501 --> 00:18:28,501
‎放開他們

312
00:18:30,584 --> 00:18:34,793
‎我為什麼這麼常被觸手抓住？

313
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:36,668
‎-救命啊
‎-小羅！不！

314
00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:47,334
‎好吧，大家都知道慣例

315
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,543
‎我愛你們，但我得先閃了，再見

316
00:18:51,751 --> 00:18:55,418
‎沒等所有人都吃完就先離開餐桌
‎這樣很沒禮貌喔

317
00:18:55,501 --> 00:18:58,251
‎我才正要開始吃而已

318
00:19:07,501 --> 00:19:10,709
‎好吃！真無聊！

319
00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:19,209
‎真無聊

320
00:19:19,293 --> 00:19:20,876
‎對不起

321
00:19:20,959 --> 00:19:23,543
‎都是我叫大家來，才會變這樣

322
00:19:23,626 --> 00:19:26,834
‎我個人很感激有這場小晚會

323
00:19:26,918 --> 00:19:30,293
‎我的書已經塵封好一段時間

324
00:19:30,876 --> 00:19:32,584
‎不過我聽到了

325
00:19:32,668 --> 00:19:35,793
‎你好怕這場晚餐約會

326
00:19:35,876 --> 00:19:40,751
‎怕讓人失望，怕追隨自己的夢想

327
00:19:40,834 --> 00:19:43,793
‎親愛的，你全身都是恐懼

328
00:19:43,876 --> 00:19:46,126
‎我知道，對不起

329
00:19:46,209 --> 00:19:47,209
‎不是在說你

330
00:19:48,876 --> 00:19:50,793
‎-是他
‎-小羅？

331
00:19:50,876 --> 00:19:51,709
‎說吧

332
00:19:51,793 --> 00:19:55,084
‎跟他說你真正的感受

333
00:19:55,793 --> 00:19:56,668
‎是真的

334
00:19:56,751 --> 00:19:59,543
‎我看起來很有自信
‎因為那是我的職責

335
00:19:59,626 --> 00:20:01,709
‎但我一直都很害怕

336
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:05,793
‎男友的父母、晚餐約會

337
00:20:05,876 --> 00:20:07,459
‎我從來沒做過這種事

338
00:20:07,543 --> 00:20:10,709
‎我只是想留下良好的第一印象

339
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:15,543
‎小羅，我不知道你有這種感受
‎你怎麼都沒告訴我？

340
00:20:16,293 --> 00:20:18,918
‎我以為你聽了會不喜歡我

341
00:20:19,001 --> 00:20:21,001
‎什麼？那也太扯了

342
00:20:21,084 --> 00:20:24,459
‎你有這種心事，卻還是這麼棒

343
00:20:24,543 --> 00:20:26,543
‎只會讓我更愛你

344
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:28,126
‎真的嗎？

345
00:20:30,376 --> 00:20:32,293
‎什麼？不行，這是怎樣？

346
00:20:32,376 --> 00:20:33,668
‎讓我來告訴你吧

347
00:20:34,251 --> 00:20:37,501
‎你這次又以為
‎可以靠暴露我們的情緒來打垮我們

348
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,918
‎但你反而讓我們更為團結

349
00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:49,126
‎這太甜膩了，讓我好想吐

350
00:20:49,918 --> 00:20:52,793
‎小羅，見我們其實沒什麼好擔心的

351
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,918
‎我們認為你是個很棒的年輕人

352
00:20:55,001 --> 00:20:56,793
‎你跟我們像一家人一樣

353
00:20:56,876 --> 00:20:58,251
‎你可以叫我“爸”

354
00:20:58,334 --> 00:20:59,293
‎爸，太快了

355
00:21:04,334 --> 00:21:06,126
‎我不介意看起來像牛角麵包

356
00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:07,709
‎牛角麵包溫熱又好吃

357
00:21:08,418 --> 00:21:09,251
‎不要…

358
00:21:11,043 --> 00:21:13,334
‎不要，這頓晚餐毀了

359
00:21:13,418 --> 00:21:14,626
‎你幹了什麼好事？

360
00:21:15,418 --> 00:21:17,543
‎你應該要焦慮到不行才對啊

361
00:21:17,626 --> 00:21:20,959
‎我一直把恐懼悶在心裡

362
00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:24,501
‎但藉由你的幫助，我將恐懼釋放了

363
00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:25,876
‎所以我只想告訴你…

364
00:21:28,043 --> 00:21:29,501
‎帶著我的真心誠意…

365
00:21:30,626 --> 00:21:31,626
‎別說！

366
00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:37,584
‎謝謝你

367
00:21:37,668 --> 00:21:40,543
‎這種正面能量太難受啦！

368
00:21:53,668 --> 00:21:55,001
‎有人要甜點嗎？

369
00:21:55,084 --> 00:21:55,918
‎不要！

370
00:21:57,501 --> 00:21:59,501
‎這裡每天都這樣嗎？

371
00:21:59,584 --> 00:22:00,668
‎就是這麼慘

372
00:22:00,751 --> 00:22:02,418
‎你可以接受嗎？

373
00:22:02,501 --> 00:22:03,834
‎愛上就是這麼慘

374
00:22:03,918 --> 00:22:06,834
‎那我覺得你們很相配

375
00:22:06,918 --> 00:22:09,293
‎不過下次還是到我們家作客吧

376
00:22:11,501 --> 00:22:13,084
‎我第一次除魔耶

377
00:22:13,168 --> 00:22:16,001
‎很酷吧？我的表現怎麼樣？

378
00:22:16,084 --> 00:22:17,168
‎你做得很好

379
00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:22,459
‎真希望我能用摔角招式
‎貢獻一點實質幫助

380
00:22:22,543 --> 00:22:24,584
‎雖然跟惡魔戰鬥很有趣

381
00:22:24,668 --> 00:22:27,334
‎但我不希望你受傷

382
00:22:27,418 --> 00:22:30,084
‎我有急救執照，不會有問題的

383
00:22:30,793 --> 00:22:35,251
‎不是這樣啦
‎我一直在想，我們能這樣維持多久？

384
00:22:36,459 --> 00:22:39,293
‎畢竟這只是你的夏季打工，對吧？

385
00:22:40,209 --> 00:22:41,043
‎對

386
00:22:41,126 --> 00:22:42,584
‎夏天遲早會結束

387
00:23:01,459 --> 00:23:03,501
‎邪魔，速速離開

388
00:23:04,001 --> 00:23:05,584
‎你錯過了

389
00:23:05,668 --> 00:23:07,251
‎我好幾小時前就召喚你了

390
00:23:08,459 --> 00:23:09,751
‎我得練習抓好時機

391
00:23:10,418 --> 00:23:13,334
‎我猜問題又被人類解決了？

392
00:23:13,418 --> 00:23:14,459
‎千鈞一髮

393
00:23:14,543 --> 00:23:19,043
‎我還以為藍色的那個
‎會靠摔角表現出一點前途

394
00:23:19,126 --> 00:23:20,584
‎但他沒救了

395
00:23:20,668 --> 00:23:23,376
‎我需要加速指導那條狗

396
00:23:24,418 --> 00:23:26,459
‎牠還有很多東西要學

397
00:24:29,126 --> 00:24:32,001
‎字幕翻譯：韓仁耀