Hey, Mama.
Oh, gosh. It's good to see you.
- Love you. - Love you too.
Let's get outta here.
Let's go.
Walking out of those gates,
it's overwhelming.
Because when you dream of something for so long,
and for it to finally come true...
"Is it really real?"
Starting to shake.
- Are you? - It's starting.
- Gonna take... - Reality's starting to hit me.
Thirty years ago, when I was incarcerated,
George W. Bush Senior was the President of the United States.
The Cold War had just ended.
There was no internet.
There were no mobile phones.
I've been gone so long,
and society has evolved so much,
that...
I mean, I can't even begin to understand
the things that I'm gonna experience.
You know, it's just... It's gonna be amazing.
I mean, I'm in awe of everything around me.
The joy and the happiness, and just to be able to hold a cell phone
and to have real world clothes on.
I never dreamed that
I would be walking free
thirty years later.
Is the door open?
- Unlocked? - No. I gotta unlock it.
You ready?
- Yeah, I'm ready. - Here we go.
Okay.
You wanna put your books here for right now,
or do you wanna carry 'em on in the room, or...?
I'm gonna go and put 'em in the room.
- Put 'em in the room? Okay. - Yeah.
Let me get behind you, I want you to go in first.
Oh, man!
Oh...
Yeah.
- That's an air mattress. - I know, be careful.
I'm 275, I might pop it.
- Oh, I hope not. - I hope not.
I popped my mama's waterbed. She was mad at me for that.
No, the only thing that... I don't want you to be uncomfortable.
- Air conditioning. - Yeah.
- The simple things of life... - Yeah.
That you don't get in a penitentiary.
- That's gonna become my friend. - Like the room or not?
- I love it. Yeah. - Okay.
I love it.
- I was gonna say... - Love it. Yeah!
Come on, compared to a cubicle...
- Right. - I mean, come on.
- My cubicle, Mama, was actually... - Hey.
- I got you... - Right here.
- That's how big my cubicle was. - That's it?
Right here. This space here is what I lived in...
for 30 years.
- This is beautiful. - Good.
Thanks for all your hard work, Mama.
You're welcome, baby.
Dear Father,
thank you for this meal, God.
This is our first meal together, Father.
Please bless the food, God, and we thank you for all things
in Jesus' name. Amen.
Amen.
Okay, you ready?
- Yeah. - Go make a mess.
It's finger food.
- Except for that. - It is, it really is.
Yeah.
Hmm.
So how is it?
- Great. - Okay... good.
Well, isn't it? It's great.
I love it.
I mean, actually, there's more than what I need,
and I can enjoy myself,
- and I ain't given just one piece, and... - Right.
And you're not on a time schedule,
- but... - "Get up.
- Is that what they do? - You got 15 minutes to eat"...
It's like five, six minutes.
"Hey, get up. Time to go."
- Really? - There's so many people,
they get institutionalized.
When they get up, they do the same. Knock on the table and get up.
"Why y'all doing that?" That's institutionalized.
Being free after all them years,
and seeing the scenery,
and experiencing it all over again,
when before...
I looked at life and took it for granted.
But now...
it's just, my perception has totally changed.
I went to the door, and I was looking out,
and three little hummingbirds come flying up
to the hummingbird feeder,
and I just thought that was the most beautiful thing.
Trying to put it into words is...
It's hard to do.
I mean, to have a place to call home now...
is amazing to me.
Mama Carole's been such a blessing to me.
For her to open her heart,
and to open her house,
and her life,
to me...
that's something the average person doesn't do.
Because who allows a convicted murderer,
coming off of death row, did 30 years,
to come home to them and allow them to call that home,
and to call you Mom?
She means so much to me.
I want her to understand that she's valued.
And in order to do that, I have to
humble myself before her and before God.
Who you gonna douse?
Don't even!
Ever been to Wet 'n Wild?
- What? - You ever been to Wet 'n Wild?
Uh... no...
It's a swimming place.
And?
It's where you get in the water.
And?
Can I get you to go sit on the recliner?
- Really? - Yes.
Yes, ma'am.
You was snooping while I was gone, weren't you?
- Yes, I was. - I feared as much.
Yes, I was.
You ready?
Jesus said...
"You will know them
out of love."
And I have the utmost respect
and love
for you.
And it is my mission and responsibility
to serve you
and to love you...
because
when there was no way...
God made a way
by bringing you into my life.
I know you've sacrificed...
a lot
for me.
You're a blessing, Mama Carole.
When I couldn't go home to my own mama, God brought me another mama.
And I thank you
for being there for me.
- I love you, Mama. - I love you, too.
It was a great day.
Very special day.
As far as knowing Dale, I think I'm just
kind of scratching the surface.
I know he has a beautiful heart,
and his love for God,
but every day is gonna be
finding out something new, something more about him,
and it's like any relationship. You don't really
know each other until you're together.
I know very little
about what Dale did to be put on death row.
I figured in time, Dale would tell me.
Dale was not remorseful about it.
The murder didn't even faze him.
We were on a lot of drugs.
He was probably totally numb to everything that was going around.
My name is Shawn Anttila.
Dale Wayne Sigler was a good friend of mine,
up until the time
when he committed the murder.
The day after the murder, he came to my house.
It was just us, he told me everything.
I remember Dale telling me details
about him going in there and hanging out,
and pointing the gun at the guy, telling him: "You need to open the safe."
And he said he got the money,
"You don't have to do this."
"Yes, I do." He pulled out... He said,
He goes, "That's when I shot him."
"'Cause he knew me, he knew my name, he could point me out."
Dale did know the victim, because he would hang out
at that Subway shop.
We had a friend that worked there, and he'd go and see our friend.
That's why the guy let him in and was comfortable being around him,
and he didn't see him as a threat.
Dale tried to say it was 'cause he was gay.
"Yeah, I killed that faggot."
That was the way he wanted people to look at him,
"Don't fuck with him, he's gonna fuck us."
That's how he liked it. He liked people to be scared of him.
Think that he was gonna do stuff like that.
The fact that the guy at the Subway was gay
probably made it easier for him to kill him.
It wasn't the reason why he did it, but it just made it, 'cause...
he's gay.
Sorry, we lived in Texas back then, and that is not a good...
That was not something you wanted to, you know...
Good boys did not like that.
Everybody had to have that persona too around that,
'cause they couldn't show any empathy for the gay community back then.
You'd get labeled as gay.
Dale definitely didn't want people to think that about him.
That would've killed his image, his persona
that he was trying to live up to.
I'd heard rumors and stories,
but as far as Dale being actually gay or homosexual,
I really don't think so.
He did take me to places where
there seemed to be a lot of gay people.
But you just dismiss it. "Oh, Dale wouldn't do stuff like that."
But hey...
if he was, he hid it really well.
The whole thing has definitely stuck with me my whole life.
At that point where the judge actually told him his sentence,
death by lethal injection,
and he didn't even flinch. Didn't care. Like he wanted it.
I think he wanted to die, at that point in time.
I guess he thought he had nothing left to live for.
There ain't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I've done.
Nothing that I say, nothing that I can do
can justify taking John's life.
All I've ever wanted to do was...
to apologize.
In the courtroom, I really
focused on the trial itself
and my family that was there.
At that point, I had accepted my fate.
I wanted to die. I wanted it to be over.
Um...
But what really made an impact to me was
my mother and my father.
They both had nervous breakdowns.
That really affected me.
We just need to get into your account,
so you can
talk to your mom.
Yeah, my mother's been through a lot because of me.
I put her through hell.
She told me, "No son of mine would ever take a life."
And it broke her heart.
I haven't seen my mother in 25 years,
and today I'm hoping to finally get to speak to her face-to-face.
Hello?
- Come on. - Hello?
- There she is! - There we go.
Hi, sis!
Hi, sis.
Yay!
Hi, baby.
Hi, Mama.
God, it's good to see you.
God, it's good to see you back and away from that place.
It's good. It's all good.
It's okay.
I thank God every day, Carole, for you.
I'm so glad you could be there for him when I couldn't.
It's my honor.
Okay.
Let's get this under control here.
Good luck.
See, I told you I was old and fat now.
- That comes with the territory. - I ain't no spring chicken myself.
I know.
Seeing my mother for the first time
after 25 years...
and her seeing her child
free...
was more precious
than life itself to me.
I mean, I can't stress how overwhelming and amazing it is
to be able to see her and talk to her at any time that I want to.
You know, because of technology.
It's awesome,
because she knows that I'm free now,
that she can reach out to me.
God, it's good to see you, though, Mama.
It's been a long time.
Yes, it has.
We never thought this day was gonna come.
No, we didn't.
I was afraid I was never gonna be able to see this before I went to heaven.
- I love you, no matter what. - I love you, too.
And I know I put you through hell,
and you didn't deserve that.
I ended up being the worst son instead of being the best son...
but from here on out,
I'm gonna be your best son.
I'm gonna make you proud of me before you go to heaven.
I know you will, baby.
The most important thing to me is to make my mother proud.
What child doesn't want that?
It's really important to set
short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals.
Years down the road, I wanna be stable, working for a company.
I wanna get my own house.
I wanna have a 401 plan, insurance, dental plan.2
And I wanna be able to start a ministry,
to be able to mentor to the kids and the youth.
I want the ministry to really,
you know, soar and take off.
I wanna be a blessing, because I've been a burden all my life.
It's time to give back.
Being on house arrest,
to me it's just a journey, it's another chapter.
To see this family and how they're out interacting,
and the boy's playing around, running, pushing this little truck.
This is beautiful.
That's a gift from God, to have children.
That's...
That's all I ever wanted, was to find someone, have a little girl.
I mean, maybe one day that might be me.
I might find someone to love.
I just gotta stay focused, stay positive.
So, I'm...
trying to look for a job,
so hopefully I can be of value to other people.
But, uh...
I have to be patient.
I'm excited to see what they got for me today.
I just gotta be flexible at this point.
I just love to have options and choices and to be able to finally start
to get my life back together.
In a perfect world today,
I'll sign on with a trucking company,
where I can be trained
and start work immediately.
So, I'm kind of looking forward to this.
What type of job are you looking for?
Um, something to do with driving CDL.
- CDL? Okay. - Yes, ma'am.
- You wanna be a truck driver? - Yes.
My grandfather was a truck driver,
and I know it's good pay, I love to travel,
and it's something on my heart that I wanted to accomplish.
Have you had truck driving experience before?
- Mm-mm. - No? Okay.
- Do you have your certification? - No.
Is that something that you might want to do,
- is get a certification? - Yes, ma'am.
And your work history?
Do you have a work history?
Um...
I've done a little bit of everything, but nothing like driving.
Okay, what was the last job you had?
- Stocker at Kroger's in Arlington. - Okay.
- And do you remember the date? - 1990.
- 1990? - Yeah.
That was my last job.
I've been incarcerated for 30 years.
Okay.
Kill him, he's trying to kill me.
- I got it. - Okay.
Good shot.
All right.
Oh! There's one of 'em you gotta kill.
Gotta kill her.
Okay, you got all three of 'em now.
It's violent,
that's why I said if he didn't want to play it, we could put something else.
But, yeah, it's...
got a lot of violence in it.
That's why everybody in society be talking about video games
- corrupting the youth. - Their kids, yeah.
- The kids. - Yeah.
Technology is awesome, but it's difficult.
I mean, even the games are difficult.
When you go up in level, you have to go
and cash the levels in to make you stronger for the next level.
It's...
It's confusing.
Because I'm on house arrest,
technology is particularly important to me.
You gonna reach out for jobs for employment.
That's my way of connecting with the world for the next year.
But at the same time, it's really overwhelming.
Detecting problems...
Problem is, technology is just too difficult.
Okay, "Check to see if the problem is fixed."
- Okay. - Did...
"Click to see if the problem is fixed," so I clicked it.
- Is it fixed? - No, it is definitely not.
Everything's got a security measure on it.
They want a backup for a backup, and they use your e-mail,
your phone number, password,
and if that don't work, then you use your e-mail for the password.
You try that, and it still doesn't connect.
You're like, "What's the sense of asking me for the e-mail to verify
the phone number if...
when I give it to you, it's not allowing me to get in?"
When it gets to the point
where...
you get that frustrated,
the best thing to do is to just
get away from it for a while and go back to it later.
You gotta quit letting it beat you down.
It's just a computer.
It's not life and death.
The last...
I'd say, three or four days,
Dale has been very frustrated.
For him,
basically, the world kind of stood still when he got locked up.
While out here, we just kept up with it,
we learned the technology, and so
he's got to learn it all of it.
It takes time.
It feels like
he wants to do everything by tomorrow,
and you can't do that.
There's not enough hours in the day.
Money is very tight right now,
simply because with an extra body in the house,
the bills are going up, and there's no extra money yet
coming in.
But we'll make it.
We'll make it.
He gets a job, and everything will be fine.
As far as getting a job,
I don't know, because he doesn't have any experience,
and I've been telling him
he needs to pace himself and not try to put so much on his plate.
Being limited in my movements
has really been hard.
I've been waiting three decades to get my life back,
to make an impact, to do the right thing and touch other people.
You know, for God.
And it's frustrating.
People can't understand.
When you want to give back,
and you want to love other people,
and you want to be around people.
That's why it bothers me so much that I can't...
socialize,
work in the community and get to know people.
I mean, I'm very limited,
you know?
And, uh...
I know things will only get better...
but it's just frustrating.
Is there anything you wanna get on the way home, or just wanna go home?
We can get, uh...
barbecue?
Uh, there's pizza. Yesterday was half-priced hamburgers,
- and I forgot. - I'm gonna share something with you
- that you're probably not even aware of. - When?
- Right now? - You see that sign there?
- What sign? - Subway sign.
Subway? Yeah.
For the rest of my life,
every time I see that sign,
it brings back that night.
Oh, really?
The hardest thing for us to do is to forgive ourselves.
I need to learn to forgive myself,
and I haven't learned how to do that yet.
It'll come in time.
It just takes
a while.
Every time I see that, it just...
It just reopens the wound.
Dale knows that what he did was wrong,
and... nobody can punish him
as severely as he punishes himself.
He is so remorseful over it.
And that's just something that he'll carry with him
for the rest of his life.
It'll always be a part of his DNA.
All of this and everything that I went through
is because of my choices.
Because of who I was.
But I'm no longer that person.
For the last 30 years...
I've been...
villainized,
called a monster,
an animal, someone unworthy to live.
That's never been the true case.
I'm not an animal.
I'm not some monster.
What people generally don't understand
is the true story of April
in 1990.
They look at it as a robbery-homicide.
"He did it for the money", but that is not what it was about.
"Arlington restaurant employee slain during apparent robbery.
John W. Zeltner, 31, of Arlington, was pronounced dead at the scene."
- Senseless murder. - Yeah.
Had no reason for it. He did it just to do it.
When he killed my brother,
that was no accident, he didn't...
The trigger... He didn't flip on the trigger.
You don't pull a trigger six times accidentally,
you know, it's just... That was no accident.
So, that's a statement.
That's a statement, you know?
You wanna kill, it only takes one bullet.
You wanna make a statement? Shoot it five more times.
For the longest time, I thought there was more to it.
For the longest time.
I thought because he was gay, they wanted to kill him.
Back in the late '80s, early '90s, people were prejudiced.
I thought maybe that's what it was, you know?
That because he was gay, and he was open about it,
they didn't like it. That's what I thought.
But I was wrong, you know?
But that was just me being mad.
Apparently, that's all it was. Just money.
People believe that they understand what happened
in April 1990.
But going through trial,
no one genuinely knew what was going on.
No one knew the whole story,
because I never told anyone.
Truthfully, the only one that really knows,
is the victim, God, and I.
It wasn't until after my father died
that I realized that
in order for me to be the man of God,
I have to tell the story.
I have to be totally transparent.
People believe it was a robbery-homicidefor the money,
but that's farthest from the truth.
It wasn't about the robbery.
The robbery was to cover up the true intention of the homicide.
The reason that I went to the store was to kill John.
I killed him, because
he tried to blackmail me...
into a homosexual relationship.
Subtitles Diego Moraes(oakislandtk) www.opensubtitles.org