1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,877 [mellow music] 2 00:00:02,961 --> 00:00:08,925 ♪ ♪ 3 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,470 - Mm-hmm. I knew Stephen was gonna break your heart. 4 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:13,805 Don't worry. 5 00:00:13,930 --> 00:00:15,682 There's a graveyard a couple of miles from here 6 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:18,351 where the groundskeeper doesn't ask too many questions. 7 00:00:18,476 --> 00:00:21,021 OK, girl. You going too far. 8 00:00:21,146 --> 00:00:23,023 You are not one of her little friends. 9 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:26,151 - You're right. I'm her big best friend. 10 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:27,652 She knew my heartbeat. 11 00:00:27,777 --> 00:00:29,320 - You knew my heartbeat, and I wouldn't 12 00:00:29,446 --> 00:00:31,865 call you a friend if your heartbeat depended on it. 13 00:00:31,990 --> 00:00:34,034 - We're even twinning today. 14 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:36,578 - I don't know what that word means. 15 00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,496 And I think it'll make me mad if you define it. 16 00:00:38,580 --> 00:00:39,914 - Hey, babe. - Morning. 17 00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,666 - OK, I know it's a little weird 18 00:00:41,791 --> 00:00:44,169 the way Angela is stalking your daughter on a field trip, 19 00:00:44,252 --> 00:00:45,628 but do you have to run away? 20 00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,047 - [chuckling] No. 21 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,840 Amir and I are doing some male bonding today, 22 00:00:48,965 --> 00:00:50,508 so we're going on a bromance trip. 23 00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,010 - OK. 24 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:54,637 Both of y'all are weird and using stupid, made-up words. 25 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,348 Is this a prank? 26 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:59,017 - Is that my new lunchbox for the field trip? 27 00:00:59,142 --> 00:01:00,560 It's my favorite show! 28 00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:03,188 - Yep, these are our new lunchboxes 29 00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,357 since it's our favorite show. 30 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:10,195 Unicorn, unicorn, it's a unicorn dance par-tay! 31 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,031 - Congratulations. That's the woman you chose. 32 00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,699 - And the woman you birthed. 33 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:16,033 - What you saying about my daughter? 34 00:01:16,158 --> 00:01:17,410 - I love her so much. 35 00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:19,329 - That's what I thought. 36 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,122 Better go do your bromancing 37 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,541 - Before I get to grave dancing. 38 00:01:25,502 --> 00:01:27,462 [mellow music] 39 00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:30,715 [rhythmic snapping, vocalization] 40 00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:37,722 ♪ ♪ 41 00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,913 - We are, like, twinning for real right now. 42 00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,289 Oh, you know what? 43 00:02:03,415 --> 00:02:05,458 We should share an Instagram account. 44 00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,085 We can call it Angeluri. 45 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:10,422 Or maybe Zurangela. 46 00:02:10,505 --> 00:02:12,257 - Uh, sure, I guess. 47 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,675 - Zuri! 48 00:02:13,758 --> 00:02:15,176 Come sit with us! 49 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,636 - Is it OK? 50 00:02:16,761 --> 00:02:17,804 - Girl, yeah. 51 00:02:17,929 --> 00:02:18,847 We can move seats. 52 00:02:18,930 --> 00:02:20,265 We're coming, BJ! 53 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,018 - Uh, just me, Mom. 54 00:02:23,101 --> 00:02:24,144 - Oh. Oh. 55 00:02:24,269 --> 00:02:26,813 Oh! Of course, yeah. 56 00:02:26,938 --> 00:02:28,064 No biggie. 57 00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,108 Catch you at the coasters. 58 00:02:30,191 --> 00:02:33,820 [melancholy music] 59 00:02:33,945 --> 00:02:36,781 ♪ ♪ 60 00:02:42,287 --> 00:02:44,831 Hey. Don't get too comfy. 61 00:02:44,956 --> 00:02:47,959 Zuri's sitting by me on the way back, so... 62 00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:49,461 - Cute! 63 00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:53,840 Me and BJ used to have Angry Bird lunchboxes. 64 00:02:53,965 --> 00:02:56,551 - Target, right? - Yep. 65 00:02:56,634 --> 00:03:00,180 The official department store of over-attached moms. 66 00:03:00,305 --> 00:03:02,515 Me and BJ spent hours at Target. 67 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:06,144 Now I just roam the aisles shopping by myself. 68 00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:08,063 One time I got desperate and tried 69 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,023 to hug somebody else's child! 70 00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:13,234 The mom was understanding and dropped the charges 71 00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:16,571 but not the restraining order. 72 00:03:23,536 --> 00:03:27,248 - Hey, I'm not really a nature person. 73 00:03:27,332 --> 00:03:29,417 - Amir, let me set the scene. 74 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:32,170 It's 2004 and I'm waiting for my dad, 75 00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,339 like I did in 2003 and 2002. 76 00:03:34,422 --> 00:03:36,675 But anyway, on this special day, 77 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:40,929 the Swish Space Force 360s came out. 78 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,682 [sighs] And left me hanging like an aglet. 79 00:03:43,807 --> 00:03:46,476 That's the plastic at the end of a shoelace. 80 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:48,561 I love shoes. - Oh... 81 00:03:48,687 --> 00:03:50,146 So we're waiting on your dad. 82 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,481 - Your grandpa don't want to be found! 83 00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,149 The sooner you accept that, 84 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:56,778 the easier your life will be, Stephen! 85 00:03:56,861 --> 00:03:58,238 I mean, nah, man. 86 00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,823 We're looking for them 360s. 87 00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,283 The retros dropped today and we are going to cop 'em. 88 00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:03,827 - Yeah, no, you have fun with that. 89 00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:07,664 But I'm going to do a 360 at the skate park. 90 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:09,374 Yo, what the hell, man? 91 00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,042 - OK, that wasn't cool. 92 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,794 Sorry. 93 00:04:12,877 --> 00:04:15,630 But what is cool is waiting in this long line 94 00:04:15,714 --> 00:04:18,675 for as long as it takes for the sneakers of your dreams 95 00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:20,552 with the man of your dreams. 96 00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:25,515 The only man that can show you how to be a real man. 97 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:30,353 - Hey, you can't tell anyone about this. 98 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:35,191 [heavenly choir] ♪ Ahh ♪ 99 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:38,570 - Whoa, you got Stay Turnt! 100 00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:42,949 - Enough caffeine to put hair on a baby's chest? 101 00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,909 I'm good on that. 102 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:49,247 - Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're a mama's girl. 103 00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:51,499 - I'm not a mama's girl. 104 00:04:51,582 --> 00:04:53,710 If anything, she's a daughter's mama. 105 00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:56,129 - Yeah? Then why do you have so much 106 00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,340 glitter on your lunchbox? 107 00:04:58,423 --> 00:05:00,592 - Yeah, you're definitely a mama's girl. 108 00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,970 - I am not! - Then what you waiting for? 109 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,889 Come on! 110 00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:11,436 - Yeah! - Go, go, yeah! 111 00:05:11,561 --> 00:05:13,605 - Hee hee! 112 00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:17,067 [energetic music] 113 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:21,071 [all slurping] 114 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:26,409 - You guys feel anything? 115 00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:27,702 - No. Nada. Zip. Zilch. 116 00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:28,953 Hakuna. Jakata. 117 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,121 Wow. Was that Swahili? 118 00:05:30,205 --> 00:05:31,289 Yep, I'm good. 119 00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:32,707 Don't feel nothing at all. 120 00:05:32,791 --> 00:05:35,293 - Whoa, I feel everything. 121 00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:38,421 - They can tell we're turnt. They can tell we're turnt! 122 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:40,757 - Yo, just be cool. 123 00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:43,843 - We're not turnt over here! 124 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:47,514 I'm cool. I'm cool. 125 00:05:50,808 --> 00:05:55,397 - You are among an elite group of men called sneakerheads. 126 00:05:58,942 --> 00:06:00,944 Cool nails. What are they for? 127 00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,613 - Uh, nothing. I just like them. 128 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,076 [zap] 129 00:06:08,159 --> 00:06:09,202 - Lesson one complete. 130 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:11,621 - Hey, anybody here named Amir? 131 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,040 - That's me! - Seriously? 132 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:17,002 - Unc, just chill and watch me work. 133 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,007 [slurping noises] 134 00:06:22,132 --> 00:06:23,550 - The brotherhood would not approve of this. 135 00:06:23,675 --> 00:06:25,760 - And three, two... 136 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:33,768 [urinating sounds] Pretty resourceful, huh? 137 00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:37,147 - Glad I can teach you something? 138 00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,523 Aah! 139 00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:42,861 Oh, lesson number two, don't do that. 140 00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:45,655 - Hey, kids. Here's the deal. 141 00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:49,200 As the cool mom, I only have one rule, OK? 142 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,244 Stay with your adventure buddy. 143 00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:54,122 And Zuri is my adventure buddy. 144 00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,248 - Sky called dibs. 145 00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,875 Sorry, Mom! 146 00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:57,709 - No, I didn't. 147 00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,169 - Come on, everyone. 148 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:02,047 Oh, this is going to be the best day ever. 149 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,548 - Don't worry, Angela. 150 00:07:03,631 --> 00:07:06,801 I'll be your buddy and I will never let you go. 151 00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:10,347 You don't mind if I call you Angela, do you? 152 00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,098 - Boy, bye. 153 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,185 [overlapping chatter] 154 00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:18,188 [exciting music] 155 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:24,152 ♪ ♪ 156 00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,904 [record scratch] 157 00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:29,407 - Next time, it's gonna be me and you on that Titanic. 158 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:33,161 Riding waves, hiding diamonds, painting you naked. 159 00:07:33,244 --> 00:07:34,579 - Get on the bus. 160 00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:36,414 - Yes, ma'am! 161 00:07:36,498 --> 00:07:39,668 I love a woman in charge. 162 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:43,004 - Who let all these six-year-olds watch "Titanic"? 163 00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:55,225 Are the kids a little weird today? 164 00:07:55,308 --> 00:08:00,063 - Oh, boy. You're the one who is unwell. 165 00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:02,691 You're experiencing parent-child partition, 166 00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:06,069 or PCP. - You know what PCP is, right? 167 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,196 Might want to change that acronym. 168 00:08:08,279 --> 00:08:11,574 - Your child has found what we call "new friends," 169 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,910 and we can help with how you're feeling. 170 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,495 - And how do you think I'm feeling? 171 00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:19,457 - The same way we all are-- abandoned. 172 00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:21,543 - I'm Carlos. I am a needy parent. 173 00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,128 group: Hi, Carlos. 174 00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:25,672 - Hi, Carlos. 175 00:08:25,797 --> 00:08:28,633 - It's been 23 days and 15 hours 176 00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,468 since Angel said he loved me. 177 00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,429 If only I had recorded it. 178 00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,264 - Zuri says "I love you" all the time. 179 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:36,390 - "Zuri says I love you all the time"! 180 00:08:36,474 --> 00:08:39,561 Well, she doesn't love you, OK? 181 00:08:39,644 --> 00:08:41,645 [groans] Sorry. 182 00:08:41,730 --> 00:08:43,148 I'm having withdrawals. 183 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:46,276 I miss his fresh puppy smell. [sobs] 184 00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:49,529 - [clearing throat] I'm Helen, needy parent. 185 00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:50,613 group: Hi, Helen. 186 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,991 - BJ flung oatmeal on me 187 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:54,826 because I followed him on Instagram, 188 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:58,371 and I've been wearing it for two weeks straight. 189 00:08:58,496 --> 00:09:00,540 It's to remember him. 190 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,126 Go ahead, Angela. 191 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:06,129 It's a safe space. 192 00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,339 - I'm Angela. 193 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,007 group" Hi, Angela! 194 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:11,301 - And I think y'all are a little off. 195 00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,011 I don't need any bears or PCP. 196 00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,180 My kid loves having me around. 197 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:18,558 [hysterical laughter] 198 00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:23,188 - And when you did the "Titanic," so cool. 199 00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,690 - I know a thing or two about classic films. 200 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,609 Thanks for the Stay Turnt, Tajuan. 201 00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,361 Today was wow. 202 00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,488 - If you thought that was fun on Stay Turnt, 203 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:35,283 try watching "Smother's Day." 204 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:36,493 - Aah! 205 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:38,286 - It's not even legal in Canada. 206 00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:41,414 - My dad would never let me watch that at home. 207 00:09:41,539 --> 00:09:43,333 Or in Canada! 208 00:09:43,415 --> 00:09:45,502 - Our TVs are all on full parental control. 209 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,920 - Mine, too. 210 00:09:47,045 --> 00:09:50,715 - Hmph. We don't have parental controls. 211 00:09:50,799 --> 00:09:52,133 - Please? 212 00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:53,176 - Your house. 213 00:09:53,259 --> 00:09:54,386 - Sleepover! 214 00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:55,887 - I mean, hey, I can ask. 215 00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,555 Of course, she's going to say no-- 216 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:58,890 - No problem. 217 00:09:58,973 --> 00:10:00,767 And we can all hang together. 218 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:03,770 [children cheering and chattering] 219 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,108 - [whispering] Sleepover. 220 00:10:09,567 --> 00:10:13,238 ♪ ♪ 221 00:10:13,363 --> 00:10:14,739 [knocking] 222 00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,741 Oh, I have one more thing to do. 223 00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:19,244 - [groaning] 224 00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:20,412 - Hi. - Yeah. 225 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:24,249 - Yo. Tonight we getting turnt. 226 00:10:24,374 --> 00:10:26,960 - Shh. [whispering] As soon as my mom goes to sleep. 227 00:10:28,837 --> 00:10:30,088 - Unicorn, unicorn. 228 00:10:30,213 --> 00:10:33,133 It's a unicorn dance par-tay! 229 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,926 Come on, Zuri! 230 00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:36,553 - Is she going to be here all night? 231 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,138 - I hope so. 232 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:45,061 ♪ ♪ 233 00:10:48,440 --> 00:10:51,651 - So tell me again why we can't get them online. 234 00:10:51,735 --> 00:10:55,196 Look, there's a good 360 dupe for half the price. 235 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,240 - First of all, lower your voice, bro. 236 00:10:57,323 --> 00:11:00,243 Second of all, absolutely not. 237 00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:02,954 That's the sneakerhead sin of all sneakerhead sins! 238 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,497 We don't do knockoffs. 239 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,665 - Blasphemy! 240 00:11:05,790 --> 00:11:07,917 - Dwayne, this is Amir. 241 00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:10,962 I'm showing him the ropes or laces. 242 00:11:11,087 --> 00:11:12,297 - What's up, folk? 243 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:13,798 You hyped about getting them 360s? 244 00:11:13,882 --> 00:11:15,342 - No. They're probably made 245 00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:16,926 by child slaves in China. 246 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,553 - But them slaves got drip, though. 247 00:11:18,636 --> 00:11:20,347 - Look. A better dupe. 248 00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,891 It's a distributor from China, but the same supplier. 249 00:11:22,974 --> 00:11:24,476 - Ha, ha! No real sneakerhead 250 00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:26,811 is gonna get out of this line for some dupe-- 251 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:28,688 - Yeah, they're just like the real thing. 252 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,689 Drop me that. 253 00:11:29,814 --> 00:11:32,108 [[beeping] 254 00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:36,696 [beeping] [crowd murmuring] 255 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,990 I'm out. 256 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,744 [car engine turns] 257 00:11:44,079 --> 00:11:46,706 - Wow. You really did that. 258 00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:51,920 [phone chiming] 259 00:11:52,003 --> 00:11:55,340 - We need her out of here so we can watch the movie. 260 00:11:55,465 --> 00:11:56,508 - You're right. 261 00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:58,593 We need to formulate a plan. 262 00:11:58,677 --> 00:12:00,970 I'll buy us some time. Hey, Mom! 263 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,432 You know what's fun? 264 00:12:04,516 --> 00:12:05,642 Pillow fights. 265 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,019 But we need more pillows. 266 00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,897 - Ooh! So fun. I'll be right back. 267 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:13,483 Don't have too much fun without me! 268 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:15,694 - [snoring] 269 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:16,695 [door slams] 270 00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:18,863 Hmm? 271 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,281 Oh, hi. 272 00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:21,199 Mm. 273 00:12:21,282 --> 00:12:22,826 You and Zuri frenemies yet? 274 00:12:22,909 --> 00:12:24,327 - Sounds like somebody's been looking 275 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:25,912 in the Urban Dictionary. 276 00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:27,372 - Yeah. I tried to buy a whole set 277 00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,165 of urban dictionaries, but they weren't on 278 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,126 the Barnes & Noble website. 279 00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:33,461 Somebody's gotta fact check those funny words 280 00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:34,587 you and Stephen use. 281 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:35,714 - I came to get pillows. 282 00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,549 I'm throwing a sleepover. 283 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,551 - Sleepover? You hate those. 284 00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:42,012 - Because you made me and my friends sleep on newspaper. 285 00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,847 - Put some down for Zuri, too. 286 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:45,724 Small bladders run in the family. 287 00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,976 I don't need her peeing on my pillows. 288 00:12:48,059 --> 00:12:50,061 - It's a regular sleepover, OK, Mom? 289 00:12:50,145 --> 00:12:52,147 No newspaper, just a good time. 290 00:12:52,230 --> 00:12:53,773 - I see. 291 00:12:53,898 --> 00:12:56,234 Kissing some kiddie butt so you can stay in the friend zone. 292 00:12:56,359 --> 00:12:58,069 - That's not what a friend zone-- 293 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,863 - What's it called when you plan 294 00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:04,617 the party and attend--a friend with benefits or a side piece? 295 00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,536 - Mom, stop. I got to go. 296 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:09,414 I'll give you a crash course on all these phrases later. 297 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:13,084 - I got dog liquor when this all comes to a head. 298 00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:15,628 - OK. So if we start a fire here, then 299 00:13:15,754 --> 00:13:17,130 your Mom would run that way, 300 00:13:17,255 --> 00:13:18,923 and we can each crack a can of Stay Turnt 301 00:13:19,007 --> 00:13:20,925 and watch the movie here. 302 00:13:21,051 --> 00:13:23,261 - Look, I'm not knocking your plan. 303 00:13:23,345 --> 00:13:24,763 - Good, 'cause it's foolproof. 304 00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:27,432 Works every time for me. - Right. 305 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:31,519 And I have questions about how many times you've done that. 306 00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:34,981 But why don't I just tell her we want to watch a movie? 307 00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,775 - No! - She's going to pick 308 00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:39,235 "Lexi the Unicorn Dancer." 309 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,155 - What's wrong with "Lexi the Unicorn Dancer"? 310 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,449 Oh. 311 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,284 [whispering] Yikes. 312 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:49,662 - OK. I've got down, down alternative for allergies, 313 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,915 and memory foam for hard hitters. 314 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:57,379 - Don't take this the wrong way, but this party is trash. 315 00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:01,800 - But Zuri, you love "Lexi the Unicorn Dancer." 316 00:14:01,883 --> 00:14:03,760 - Do I look 3 to 5 to you? 317 00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,846 I'm 6. We want to have real fun! 318 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,640 - Say no more! 319 00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:10,058 Pillow fight! 320 00:14:10,141 --> 00:14:12,560 - I'll pillow fight with you, Miss-- 321 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,938 [laughs] Do it again. 322 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,648 Do it again! 323 00:14:19,317 --> 00:14:22,112 [heavenly choir] ♪ Ahh ♪ 324 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,322 - We're so close. 325 00:14:24,447 --> 00:14:26,991 We outwitted and outlasted almost everybody. 326 00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,452 Only real ones last in the sneaker line. 327 00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:31,830 Ha ha. How are you feeling, bruh? 328 00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:33,873 You excited? - Uh, yeah. 329 00:14:33,998 --> 00:14:38,128 I'm excited for sure to get that paper. 330 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,047 [mellow music on radio] 331 00:14:41,172 --> 00:14:43,299 ♪ ♪ 332 00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,135 - Hey, what's good, bruhs? 333 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,470 Hey, thanks for holding me down, little line-holder. 334 00:14:47,554 --> 00:14:49,931 All right, hey. 335 00:14:50,015 --> 00:14:51,683 Stephen, Stephen, Stephen. 336 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,185 - Just here to get the 360s with my nephew. 337 00:14:54,310 --> 00:14:57,355 - Oh, this little, little Stephen? 338 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,649 You a fan of Unc, little, little Stephen? 339 00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:01,359 - I mean, you straight. 340 00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:03,528 Your last mixtape was kind of trash, though. 341 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,072 - You mean the beats was trash- - You mean the lyrics was trash 342 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:09,200 but my lyrics were hard. - But my beats were hard. 343 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:14,039 - And I'ma put some respect on that criticism. 344 00:15:14,164 --> 00:15:17,167 Oh, them nails, though. 345 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,044 - Hey, he's finding himself. 346 00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,296 you know, he's an artist. - And they fire! 347 00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:23,548 What color is that? - Fairy Tale Pink. 348 00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,384 - Hey, little driver! Call my cosmetologist! 349 00:15:26,468 --> 00:15:28,970 I want a mani-pedi in Fairy Tale Pink. 350 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:32,515 And if it's Barbie pink, everybody gets fired! 351 00:15:33,892 --> 00:15:36,895 - So Unc stole your beats, walked off with your shoes, 352 00:15:36,978 --> 00:15:38,188 and you said nothing. 353 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,647 But when he said something about my nails, 354 00:15:39,731 --> 00:15:41,733 you had to tell him I'm finding myself? 355 00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,902 This is manhood? 356 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:47,530 I'll be across the street. 357 00:15:47,614 --> 00:15:50,575 [mysterious music] 358 00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:54,579 ♪ ♪ 359 00:15:54,662 --> 00:15:55,663 - [spooky voice] Come in! 360 00:15:56,539 --> 00:15:57,582 [meow] 361 00:15:57,707 --> 00:16:00,251 We have a game to play. 362 00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:03,505 All the teens in sleepover movies do a Ouija board, 363 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:06,091 then they disappear one by one. 364 00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:08,551 Fun, right? 365 00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,014 OK, Angel. You go first. 366 00:16:13,098 --> 00:16:16,476 - Am I getting the new PlayStation? 367 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:17,602 Cool. 368 00:16:17,686 --> 00:16:20,063 - But you already knew that, so-- 369 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,106 - I want to go! 370 00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:24,776 Who is my one true love? 371 00:16:24,859 --> 00:16:28,154 A...[gasps] N. 372 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:30,073 [gasps] Is it a G in your name or a J? 373 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:31,616 - We got it, Tajuan. 374 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:34,619 Zuri? 375 00:16:34,703 --> 00:16:36,287 - [whispering] Now. 376 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:44,129 - Want to know my deepest desire? 377 00:16:44,212 --> 00:16:50,510 G-O A-W-A-Y. 378 00:16:50,635 --> 00:16:51,970 - [gasping] 379 00:16:52,053 --> 00:16:54,973 - M-O-M. 380 00:16:55,056 --> 00:16:57,976 - [slurring] Go I am? 381 00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,561 Is the spirit faded? 382 00:16:59,644 --> 00:17:03,481 Go away...Mom? 383 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,983 - Yeah, the spirits said to find your own friends 384 00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,819 and let me enjoy mine. 385 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,820 - Oh! - Ooh! 386 00:17:11,489 --> 00:17:12,824 [dramatic musical sting] 387 00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:15,326 - Who do you think you're talking to, little girl? 388 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:17,244 You treat me with respect. 389 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,664 [distorted] I'm not one of your little friends. 390 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:34,554 - What just happened? - Not sure. 391 00:17:34,679 --> 00:17:37,390 I was too busy watching my life flash before my eyes. 392 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,393 - I was watching it, too. You looked so weird as a baby. 393 00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:43,188 - Hey, my woman is going to be all right. 394 00:17:43,271 --> 00:17:45,273 She does this sometimes. 395 00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,108 - Well, at least you got her out of here. 396 00:17:47,192 --> 00:17:49,736 - Yeah. Nice work, Zuri. 397 00:17:49,861 --> 00:17:53,323 - Yeah! Now let's get turnt up! 398 00:17:59,371 --> 00:18:02,123 - Wow, quicker than I predicted. 399 00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:08,254 - [sobbing] 400 00:18:08,380 --> 00:18:10,674 I swore I would never be like you and say it, 401 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:11,883 but I did. 402 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,344 - Good for you! - No! 403 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:16,346 I want to be her friend. 404 00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,723 - Yeah, I know. I read about it. 405 00:18:18,807 --> 00:18:20,308 You're doing Molly. 406 00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,352 - I'm what? 407 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:26,398 - Doing M-O-L-L-Y. That's when moms over-love 408 00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:28,858 their little young'uns. - Who makes these up? 409 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,611 - You're stuck to your kid, but it hurts 410 00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:35,031 because Zuri is ripping that Velcro off like my shoes. 411 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,825 See? - Mom. 412 00:18:36,908 --> 00:18:38,493 - Here's the thing, Angie. 413 00:18:38,576 --> 00:18:41,454 You can be friendly, but while you're raising Zuri, 414 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,790 you have to be a parent first. 415 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,917 But don't worry. Soon, you'll be looking 416 00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:48,586 up words in the dictionary so you can be her friend. 417 00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:51,631 - Did you just call us friends? 418 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:53,758 - Yes. But I'm still your mama. 419 00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,760 Now go upstairs and be Zuri's mama before I 420 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:59,139 come ground both of you. - [chuckles] 421 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:04,477 - [slurping] 422 00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:13,445 [raar] 423 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:14,863 [ding] [meow] 424 00:19:14,946 --> 00:19:16,197 [slurping sounds] 425 00:19:16,281 --> 00:19:18,575 [eerie music] 426 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,701 [creaking sound] 427 00:19:19,784 --> 00:19:21,494 - What was that? 428 00:19:25,290 --> 00:19:27,292 [all scream] 429 00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:30,128 - What is going on in here? 430 00:19:30,211 --> 00:19:32,630 Wait. 431 00:19:39,304 --> 00:19:40,680 - Sorry, Miss Young. 432 00:19:40,805 --> 00:19:44,142 My mom usually puts down newspaper. 433 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:47,729 - Zuri, you know you're not allowed to drink this stuff! 434 00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:50,857 [meow] And you're not allowed, either. 435 00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:53,443 This sleepover is done. 436 00:19:53,526 --> 00:19:56,821 I'm calling your parents. And the vet. 437 00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:04,579 - Looks like you finally got 438 00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:06,122 the sneakers of your dreams, huh? 439 00:20:06,206 --> 00:20:09,376 - Looks like Unc didn't buy every pair in the store. 440 00:20:09,501 --> 00:20:11,002 Today was about getting you shoes. 441 00:20:11,127 --> 00:20:14,547 I don't need them anymore. Go ahead and open it. 442 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,176 Hmm. No glow. 443 00:20:18,259 --> 00:20:20,553 Wait, try again. 444 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:22,347 What happened to the glow? 445 00:20:22,430 --> 00:20:24,432 Man, they're supposed to change your life. 446 00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:26,851 - Look, I tried being the man you want me to be. 447 00:20:26,935 --> 00:20:28,228 But that's not me. 448 00:20:28,353 --> 00:20:30,689 - [sighs] 449 00:20:30,814 --> 00:20:32,857 - Today was important to you, huh? 450 00:20:32,941 --> 00:20:34,359 - It was, man. 451 00:20:34,442 --> 00:20:36,403 - You know what? They're kind of cool. 452 00:20:36,486 --> 00:20:38,863 - Maybe they'll make them in Fairy Tale Pink one day. 453 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,865 - Yeah, it's actually Tickle Me Pink, 454 00:20:40,949 --> 00:20:43,326 but, you know, I couldn't have Unc stealing my swag 455 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:45,787 like he stole your music. - Ha ha ha ha! 456 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,914 [both chuckling] 457 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:51,668 Hey. 458 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:54,129 - [sobbing] - I'm really sorry, Helen. 459 00:20:54,212 --> 00:20:55,755 - I love you, Mom. 460 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,215 I love you. 461 00:20:57,298 --> 00:21:01,011 - Oh, you've got nothing to apologize for. 462 00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:02,846 Let's do this once a week. 463 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:06,391 And call me if you ever want to talk about PCP! 464 00:21:07,392 --> 00:21:09,394 - [sighs] [footsteps] 465 00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,771 - I'm sorry, Ma. 466 00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:15,358 I like having clout, but I don't want it if it means 467 00:21:15,442 --> 00:21:17,318 I can't be friends with you. 468 00:21:17,402 --> 00:21:20,071 Even if it does make me a mama's girl. 469 00:21:20,196 --> 00:21:21,656 - That's sweet. 470 00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,408 Sometimes the praise from caving to peer pressure 471 00:21:23,533 --> 00:21:26,911 feels good in the moment, but it never ends well. 472 00:21:27,037 --> 00:21:28,455 You're grounded. 473 00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:29,914 - Grounded? 474 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,332 What does that mean? 475 00:21:31,416 --> 00:21:32,667 - You've got two weeks to learn. 476 00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:34,586 Your grounding starts tomorrow. 477 00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:38,590 - Aw. - But tonight, we can watch 478 00:21:38,673 --> 00:21:41,259 a "Lexi the Unicorn Dancer" marathon. 479 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:45,472 - Duh, she's a unicorn who's classically trained in ballet 480 00:21:45,597 --> 00:21:46,931 and breakdancing. 481 00:21:47,057 --> 00:21:50,560 How is that not appealing to all demographics? 482 00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:54,105 [mellow music] 483 00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:57,150 ♪ ♪ 484 00:21:57,275 --> 00:22:00,570 [meow, burp, meow] 485 00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:08,036 - If anyone asks, the park was open when we got here. 486 00:22:09,454 --> 00:22:11,122 - If anyone asks, I'm going to be rolling 487 00:22:11,247 --> 00:22:13,917 away too fast to answer. 488 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:17,629 - Hey, you're not, like, going to skate in those brand new 489 00:22:17,712 --> 00:22:20,632 once in a lifetime Swishes are you? 490 00:22:25,470 --> 00:22:27,972 All right. Gotta teach me some moves one day 491 00:22:28,098 --> 00:22:30,475 when I get that good union health insurance. 492 00:22:30,558 --> 00:22:32,644 - Unc, if you're going to be my role model, 493 00:22:32,727 --> 00:22:36,648 we really need to have a discussion about priorities. 494 00:22:45,949 --> 00:22:47,158 - I'm a skater. 495 00:22:47,283 --> 00:22:50,036 And scuffed shoes are a part of the look, Unc. 496 00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:52,122 [thud] - [groaning] I can't take this. 497 00:22:52,205 --> 00:22:55,458 I've seen enough. I'll be waiting in the car. 498 00:22:59,087 --> 00:23:00,797 - This is more fun, Mom. 499 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,634 No more sleepovers. My room still smells like pee! 500 00:23:04,718 --> 00:23:07,178 - I told you to put down some newspaper! 501 00:23:13,393 --> 00:23:14,978 - Since when are you Mr. Smoothie? 502 00:23:15,061 --> 00:23:17,188 - Since Amir told me that stuff will kill you. 503 00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,773 Look at the label. 504 00:23:18,857 --> 00:23:21,526 - Uh, I wrangled five kids, a caffeine-addicted cat, 505 00:23:21,651 --> 00:23:23,153 and my mother tonight. 506 00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:24,696 Let me have this. 507 00:23:24,779 --> 00:23:27,198 - Yeah, but did you almost fight Little Ankh 508 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:28,950 then break into a skate park? 509 00:23:29,034 --> 00:23:31,494 - Oh, is that what male bonding is? 510 00:23:31,578 --> 00:23:32,954 - Nah. 511 00:23:33,038 --> 00:23:34,622 It's not crying in front of a 13-year-old 512 00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,916 when he scuffs his new pair of $300 sneakers. 513 00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:38,335 - [spits] How much? - [blender whirring] 514 00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:40,337 - What? Sorry! 515 00:23:40,420 --> 00:23:42,088 Can't hear you!