1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:18,831 --> 00:00:23,413 Mummy's diary, episode 27...No, 28. 4 00:00:23,414 --> 00:00:26,288 15th April, at...11:42. 5 00:00:26,289 --> 00:00:29,580 Well, I'm on the plane, coming to Greece. 6 00:00:29,581 --> 00:00:33,247 I remember holding you in my arms, the day you were born, 7 00:00:33,248 --> 00:00:38,248 and now you're getting married. 8 00:00:38,664 --> 00:00:41,997 No, I'm not going to cry, 9 00:00:41,998 --> 00:00:45,038 the way I always do when I film myself. 10 00:00:45,039 --> 00:00:46,872 OK, then... 11 00:00:46,873 --> 00:00:50,038 Next episode: landing! 12 00:00:50,039 --> 00:00:54,455 I love you. 13 00:00:54,456 --> 00:00:56,538 What a sweet thing to do. 14 00:00:56,539 --> 00:00:59,205 It's a surprise for her. 15 00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:02,288 I started when she said she was getting married. 16 00:01:02,289 --> 00:01:04,455 A lovely present. 17 00:01:04,456 --> 00:01:06,372 There's a big fat cheque too. 18 00:01:06,373 --> 00:01:08,913 One's daughter doesn't get married every day. 19 00:01:08,914 --> 00:01:11,913 As a rule, marriage is a stupid mistake. 20 00:01:11,914 --> 00:01:14,080 But at 22, to some Greek... 21 00:01:14,081 --> 00:01:16,455 Well, it's her life to throw away! 22 00:01:16,456 --> 00:01:19,330 I married young, I'm very happy... 23 00:01:19,331 --> 00:01:19,955 Nikos! 24 00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:21,663 Something's wrong Madam? 25 00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:22,997 Yes, what is this? 26 00:01:22,998 --> 00:01:23,830 This is Feta. 27 00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:26,330 No, it's not. It's cow, not sheep. 28 00:01:26,331 --> 00:01:27,913 Shall I bring you... 29 00:01:27,914 --> 00:01:31,913 No, thanks, I'm fine. 30 00:01:31,914 --> 00:01:35,997 No, don't eat that! It's disgusting. 31 00:01:35,998 --> 00:01:37,538 Where are we? 32 00:01:37,539 --> 00:01:40,538 Hang on, let me check. 33 00:01:40,539 --> 00:01:42,122 Three, two, one... 34 00:01:42,123 --> 00:01:45,997 Welcome to Germany! We've just crossed the border. 35 00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:47,663 That thing's amazing. 36 00:01:47,664 --> 00:01:52,080 You can follow where you're going as if you were flying it. 37 00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:54,997 That's weird. We've just changed course. 38 00:01:54,998 --> 00:01:58,038 Delays, here we come! 39 00:01:58,039 --> 00:02:01,747 Ever thought about flying for real? 40 00:02:01,748 --> 00:02:03,080 Of course. 41 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:06,372 But it'd mean taking lessons with beginners. 42 00:02:06,373 --> 00:02:07,747 And I'm no beginner. 43 00:02:07,748 --> 00:02:11,330 Anyway, my daughter's wedding has cost me a fortune. 44 00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:12,580 My princess. 45 00:02:12,581 --> 00:02:14,955 Congratulations. 46 00:02:14,956 --> 00:02:16,622 And with this simulator 47 00:02:16,623 --> 00:02:21,122 you can go wherever you like, whenever you like. Look... 48 00:02:21,123 --> 00:02:22,913 I'd love to go to Japan. 49 00:02:22,914 --> 00:02:25,497 Charles de Gaulle terminal 2A, 50 00:02:25,498 --> 00:02:27,122 take-off for... 51 00:02:27,123 --> 00:02:30,830 Tokyo, 5 years ago, with C閏ile. A great trip, great shopping. 52 00:02:30,831 --> 00:02:32,455 Saint-Barth', 53 00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,663 Saint-Trop'... 54 00:02:33,664 --> 00:02:35,163 Saint-F閘icien. 55 00:02:35,164 --> 00:02:38,538 We visited a killer cheese factory. 56 00:02:38,539 --> 00:02:43,080 Every year we discover a new part of France. Its cuisine... 57 00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:47,122 C閏ile in the Renault 5 I started my driving school with. 58 00:02:47,123 --> 00:02:48,663 I have a Clio now. 59 00:02:48,664 --> 00:02:51,580 Meg鑦e. We go to my chalet every February. 60 00:02:51,581 --> 00:02:54,663 I broke my leg that year. 61 00:02:54,664 --> 00:02:56,747 C閏ile when she was born. 62 00:02:56,748 --> 00:02:58,247 And her father? 63 00:02:58,248 --> 00:02:59,955 - He's dead. - I'm sorry. 64 00:02:59,956 --> 00:03:03,788 They say the good die young. Not this time! 65 00:03:03,789 --> 00:03:06,580 My baby when she was born. 66 00:03:06,581 --> 00:03:08,163 She's cute. 67 00:03:08,164 --> 00:03:10,288 Her mother looks a bit burnt. 68 00:03:10,289 --> 00:03:13,163 I had a witchdoctor put a hex on her. 69 00:03:13,164 --> 00:03:15,330 But she only broke her leg. 70 00:03:15,331 --> 00:03:17,413 A bit of a result, anyway. 71 00:03:17,414 --> 00:03:21,413 Careful! 72 00:03:21,414 --> 00:03:23,330 Sorry. 73 00:03:23,331 --> 00:03:26,080 I didn't know you were here. 74 00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:29,997 You're allowed to fly with new boobs? 75 00:03:29,998 --> 00:03:32,122 I got special permission. 76 00:03:32,123 --> 00:03:34,247 You've got a good seat. 77 00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,497 Right next to the shitter! 78 00:03:36,498 --> 00:03:39,413 Ha ha! Now can you leave me alone? 79 00:03:39,414 --> 00:03:41,830 Nice! A present from your wife? 80 00:03:41,831 --> 00:03:45,038 Splashing out at the supermarket, eh? 81 00:03:45,039 --> 00:03:46,913 What is it? Corsica? 82 00:03:46,914 --> 00:03:48,913 No, it's half a heart. 83 00:03:48,914 --> 00:03:50,580 And she has the other half? 84 00:03:50,581 --> 00:03:53,205 How sweet! 85 00:03:53,206 --> 00:03:54,747 Where is er...? 86 00:03:54,748 --> 00:03:59,748 Sylvie. She'll come later. She didn't want to see your ugly mug. 87 00:04:00,539 --> 00:04:05,539 Oh, Uncle Roger! Still not dead? 88 00:04:21,831 --> 00:04:25,538 Alain! I know it's you! 89 00:04:25,539 --> 00:04:28,580 Alain! 90 00:04:28,581 --> 00:04:30,080 Shit! 91 00:04:30,081 --> 00:04:31,747 Open this door! 92 00:04:31,748 --> 00:04:32,788 Nikos! 93 00:04:32,789 --> 00:04:34,913 This is your captain speaking. 94 00:04:34,914 --> 00:04:38,538 Due to a serious meteorological problem, 95 00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:42,122 we shall have to land in Munich. 96 00:04:42,123 --> 00:04:47,123 Told you, didn't I? Saw it on the computer. 97 00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:51,955 A spectacular phenomenon has occurred 98 00:04:51,956 --> 00:04:54,747 as an Icelandic volcano breathing a cloud of ashes 99 00:04:54,748 --> 00:04:56,538 is blocking the air traffic 100 00:04:56,539 --> 00:05:01,539 throughout all of northern Europe. 101 00:05:56,914 --> 00:06:01,914 TH E VOLCANO 102 00:06:23,873 --> 00:06:27,372 Darling, there are no flights. 103 00:06:27,373 --> 00:06:30,538 We've been stuck here for hours. 104 00:06:30,539 --> 00:06:31,788 Excuse me. 105 00:06:31,789 --> 00:06:36,789 Switch the TV on. You have TV in Greece, don't you? 106 00:06:37,039 --> 00:06:38,830 What can I do? 107 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:43,080 Make a human chain with buckets, all the way to Iceland? 108 00:06:43,081 --> 00:06:48,081 No, I'm not being cynical, but there are no flights. 109 00:06:48,206 --> 00:06:50,872 No, I'm just saying it might be a sign. 110 00:06:50,873 --> 00:06:54,788 A wedding without guests or a dress may not be a wedding. 111 00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,872 Excuse me. 112 00:06:56,873 --> 00:06:58,288 Excuse me. 113 00:06:58,289 --> 00:06:59,788 What about your dad? 114 00:06:59,789 --> 00:07:02,913 Behind his stupid looks, he's a sad old man. 115 00:07:02,914 --> 00:07:05,038 He'll be on his way back to Paris. 116 00:07:05,039 --> 00:07:07,538 Yes yes I know I know no more car 117 00:07:07,539 --> 00:07:09,663 but please you have to help me, give me a car. 118 00:07:09,664 --> 00:07:10,913 Sorry. No cars... 119 00:07:10,914 --> 00:07:13,080 Come on, the bus is leaving. 120 00:07:13,081 --> 00:07:15,247 Sir, Sir, do you have a daughter? 121 00:07:15,248 --> 00:07:16,205 Yes, Why ? 122 00:07:16,206 --> 00:07:18,080 I marry my daughter, my little daughter. 123 00:07:18,081 --> 00:07:19,330 I am a father. Father like you. 124 00:07:19,331 --> 00:07:19,830 Look. Look. 125 00:07:19,831 --> 00:07:22,747 Toudoudou...Tou...dou...dou...dou... 126 00:07:22,748 --> 00:07:24,538 No. Please Sir 127 00:07:24,539 --> 00:07:26,788 Give me a car! Give me a car!!! 128 00:07:26,789 --> 00:07:28,622 Sorry. No more cars. Sorry... 129 00:07:28,623 --> 00:07:33,623 Come on, Alain! 130 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:40,580 Cry, Uncle Roger! Cry! 131 00:07:40,581 --> 00:07:44,538 Please... 132 00:07:44,539 --> 00:07:48,163 Ok Guys, please stop! Stop. Stop. Stop this now! 133 00:07:48,164 --> 00:07:49,372 A car, A little car, a little car! 134 00:07:49,373 --> 00:07:52,163 OK, here, this is our last car, OK? 135 00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:54,372 Normally, I've to keep it for special guests. 136 00:07:54,373 --> 00:07:56,913 So please, don't tell anybody. 137 00:07:56,914 --> 00:07:58,122 How much is it? 138 00:07:58,123 --> 00:07:59,247 Four Thousand euros, sir. 139 00:07:59,248 --> 00:08:04,248 What?! 140 00:08:07,414 --> 00:08:12,414 Where are you going? 141 00:08:29,998 --> 00:08:34,998 The bastard! 142 00:08:48,498 --> 00:08:51,247 Yes, sweetheart. 143 00:08:51,248 --> 00:08:55,080 Don't worry, I've found a car. 144 00:08:55,081 --> 00:08:58,747 Yes, and I have your dress. 145 00:08:58,748 --> 00:09:00,288 Your mum? 146 00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:02,955 She's on the bus back to Paris. 147 00:09:02,956 --> 00:09:05,622 Well, you can't count on her. 148 00:09:05,623 --> 00:09:08,038 But Daddy's here, eh? 149 00:09:08,039 --> 00:09:11,747 Your friends are here, with Uncle Roger. 150 00:09:11,748 --> 00:09:13,705 Yes, we picked them up. 151 00:09:13,706 --> 00:09:15,288 Hi. 152 00:09:15,289 --> 00:09:17,330 Wicked car! 153 00:09:17,331 --> 00:09:20,080 For 4,000 it should be! 154 00:09:20,081 --> 00:09:23,830 You don't need to thank me, sweetheart. 155 00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:26,455 Someone on the other line? 156 00:09:26,456 --> 00:09:29,122 Your mother? No, don't answer... 157 00:09:29,123 --> 00:09:30,913 Shit! Let's go, quick! 158 00:09:30,914 --> 00:09:33,330 In the car, quick! 159 00:09:33,331 --> 00:09:35,455 Get in the car, quick! 160 00:09:35,456 --> 00:09:38,580 What are you talking about, a bus? No, I'm with him. 161 00:09:38,581 --> 00:09:40,038 He's right here. 162 00:09:40,039 --> 00:09:44,413 Yes, we have the dress. Everything. 163 00:09:44,414 --> 00:09:46,872 - Say hello. - Hello. 164 00:09:46,873 --> 00:09:51,873 I'll call you when we're on our way. See you. 165 00:09:52,123 --> 00:09:54,622 Oh, so you wanna play? 166 00:09:54,623 --> 00:09:59,623 I'll make you bleed! 167 00:10:02,581 --> 00:10:04,247 Hey, what are you doing? 168 00:10:04,248 --> 00:10:08,247 I've been caught in the crossfire between you two before. 169 00:10:08,248 --> 00:10:10,705 I have a few years left, so... 170 00:10:10,706 --> 00:10:12,038 Bye. 171 00:10:12,039 --> 00:10:14,872 No, Uncle, those days are over. 172 00:10:14,873 --> 00:10:19,873 Drive carefully. 173 00:10:27,498 --> 00:10:30,247 Ignition. 174 00:10:30,248 --> 00:10:33,955 Code. 175 00:10:33,956 --> 00:10:38,288 Seat adjustment. 176 00:10:38,289 --> 00:10:40,872 Hands at ten to two. 177 00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:42,413 Interior mirror. 178 00:10:42,414 --> 00:10:47,122 Exterior mirrors. 179 00:10:47,123 --> 00:10:49,997 Tiptronic automatic gearbox. 180 00:10:49,998 --> 00:10:53,663 Indicators. 181 00:10:53,664 --> 00:10:57,205 Headlights, dipped, full beam. Windscreen wipers: 182 00:10:57,206 --> 00:11:02,206 speed 1, speed 2, speed 3. 183 00:11:03,498 --> 00:11:04,913 GPS, 184 00:11:04,914 --> 00:11:08,205 Greece, Corfu. 185 00:11:08,206 --> 00:11:12,330 A change from your Clio, eh? 186 00:11:12,331 --> 00:11:14,997 Buckle up in the back, please. 187 00:11:14,998 --> 00:11:17,955 You, don't bother! 188 00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:20,247 2,132 kilometres. 189 00:11:20,248 --> 00:11:21,997 Here we go. 190 00:11:21,998 --> 00:11:26,998 No smoking. 191 00:11:43,331 --> 00:11:45,747 We're really pleased to meet you. 192 00:11:45,748 --> 00:11:49,163 C閏ile must have told you lots about me. 193 00:11:49,164 --> 00:11:51,080 No, she's never mentioned you. 194 00:11:51,081 --> 00:11:56,081 - What a surprise! - Or you. 195 00:11:57,414 --> 00:12:01,372 How long have you been married? 196 00:12:01,373 --> 00:12:03,080 - We're divorced. - Always have been! 197 00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:04,205 I'm sorry. 198 00:12:04,206 --> 00:12:09,206 Would you be sorry about having a tumour removed? 199 00:12:16,164 --> 00:12:18,705 What do you expect C閏ile to say about you? 200 00:12:18,706 --> 00:12:20,163 Don't start! 201 00:12:20,164 --> 00:12:25,164 "Dad lives in a crappy flat in a crappy suburb with my stepmother... 202 00:12:26,664 --> 00:12:28,163 "He dresses like a loser, 203 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:32,747 "and in the evening watches TV like the loser he is." 204 00:12:32,748 --> 00:12:34,788 "Mum has a whale of a time! 205 00:12:34,789 --> 00:12:37,413 "She has lots of money and lots of boyfriends, 206 00:12:37,414 --> 00:12:40,538 "but no family and no friends. 207 00:12:40,539 --> 00:12:43,580 "She's all alone." 208 00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:45,622 "Dad's such a laugh! 209 00:12:45,623 --> 00:12:47,663 "The funniest thing about him 210 00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:50,538 "is his driving school with only one car. 211 00:12:50,539 --> 00:12:53,205 "Two cars would be too much work. 212 00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,122 "Because Dad is a lazy slob!" 213 00:12:56,123 --> 00:12:59,705 "When a sick pet is brought to Mum's clinic, 214 00:12:59,706 --> 00:13:02,538 "Mum shags the customer because Mum's a slut!" 215 00:13:02,539 --> 00:13:03,622 Take that back! 216 00:13:03,623 --> 00:13:05,372 What, you didn't do that? 217 00:13:05,373 --> 00:13:07,538 - We were separated! - Not divorced! 218 00:13:07,539 --> 00:13:11,705 I'll lose you your deposit! 219 00:13:11,706 --> 00:13:12,955 Put that down. 220 00:13:12,956 --> 00:13:15,038 Put it down...Put it down! 221 00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:16,580 This is ridiculous. 222 00:13:16,581 --> 00:13:18,455 - Take it back! - It's OK. 223 00:13:18,456 --> 00:13:20,247 Just keep out of it. 224 00:13:20,248 --> 00:13:23,497 - Take it back! - Don't open that! 225 00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:28,498 Take it back! 226 00:13:31,039 --> 00:13:32,372 No, don't go. 227 00:13:32,373 --> 00:13:35,663 Reunions are always a bit tricky. 228 00:13:35,664 --> 00:13:40,664 - I know why she never mentions you. - You're sick! 229 00:13:41,706 --> 00:13:46,706 Come back, please. Don't leave me alone with her. 230 00:13:49,123 --> 00:13:52,163 Mummy's diary, episode 29. 231 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:55,913 Still 15th April, at 4:11 p.m. 232 00:13:55,914 --> 00:13:59,080 I'm in one of those fabulous German motorway caf閟, 233 00:13:59,081 --> 00:14:02,455 where they sell sausage by the metre. 234 00:14:02,456 --> 00:14:06,038 And as your father is a fat bumpkin, 235 00:14:06,039 --> 00:14:09,830 he took two and half metres! 236 00:14:09,831 --> 00:14:13,705 There aren't any flights. What can I say? 237 00:14:13,706 --> 00:14:17,497 I have to go. She's my daughter after all. 238 00:14:17,498 --> 00:14:22,122 Just thinking of this wedding without you or the kids 239 00:14:22,123 --> 00:14:25,538 makes me want to cry. 240 00:14:25,539 --> 00:14:30,539 Val閞ie? No, I don't know where she is. 241 00:14:35,831 --> 00:14:37,330 Go for a wee now. 242 00:14:37,331 --> 00:14:42,331 We're not stopping again. 243 00:14:46,039 --> 00:14:48,372 Be happy 244 00:14:48,373 --> 00:14:52,163 "it'll be a boy" And now here you are 245 00:14:52,164 --> 00:14:55,122 C閏ile 246 00:14:55,123 --> 00:14:58,080 My daughter 247 00:14:58,081 --> 00:15:01,538 Here you are, and here am I 248 00:15:01,539 --> 00:15:03,663 I am thirty 249 00:15:03,664 --> 00:15:08,122 And you're six months old 250 00:15:08,123 --> 00:15:10,122 Nose to nose 251 00:15:10,123 --> 00:15:12,122 Looking into each other's eyes 252 00:15:12,123 --> 00:15:17,123 Which of the two of us is the most amazed? 253 00:15:22,498 --> 00:15:24,997 That was brilliant! 254 00:15:24,998 --> 00:15:26,747 Oh, God! 255 00:15:26,748 --> 00:15:29,622 I only hope he does that in front of everyone, 256 00:15:29,623 --> 00:15:34,623 with his voice cracking and sobbing... Thank you, God! 257 00:15:35,873 --> 00:15:40,873 Pathetic! 258 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,122 I'm sorry. 259 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:02,205 But put yourself in my place. That song still winds me up. 260 00:16:02,206 --> 00:16:04,080 It was 22 years ago. 261 00:16:04,081 --> 00:16:06,705 Maybe. 262 00:16:06,706 --> 00:16:08,955 But we decided on Elodie, 263 00:16:08,956 --> 00:16:10,580 then you named her C閏ile 264 00:16:10,581 --> 00:16:15,581 because on the way to register the name you heard that song. 265 00:16:16,039 --> 00:16:18,163 I have a right to be pissed off. 266 00:16:18,164 --> 00:16:22,747 And obviously it was her name that made you dump us both! 267 00:16:22,748 --> 00:16:26,288 How dare you? We were too young, that's all. 268 00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,413 Admit what you did. 269 00:16:28,414 --> 00:16:30,663 You forced me to leave. 270 00:16:30,664 --> 00:16:31,955 The crap you talk! 271 00:16:31,956 --> 00:16:36,956 Not again. We've already discussed this 700,000 times. 272 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,830 But I'll tell you something. 273 00:16:40,831 --> 00:16:44,038 If you sing that at the wedding, I'll be... 274 00:16:44,039 --> 00:16:45,955 moved. 275 00:16:45,956 --> 00:16:47,288 Moved? You? 276 00:16:47,289 --> 00:16:49,372 Look. 277 00:16:49,373 --> 00:16:54,373 Just for this journey, can we bury the hatchet? 278 00:17:01,789 --> 00:17:03,288 - It's on me. - No, I'll get it. 279 00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,663 No, leave it. 280 00:17:04,664 --> 00:17:09,664 No, I insist. 281 00:17:24,456 --> 00:17:25,788 What's wrong? 282 00:17:25,789 --> 00:17:28,038 Why won't it start? 283 00:17:28,039 --> 00:17:33,039 Shit! 284 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:40,038 You need the code. 285 00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:45,039 You need a code to start fancy rental cars. 286 00:17:45,623 --> 00:17:46,913 What? 287 00:17:46,914 --> 00:17:50,747 Look at the screen there, with the figures. 288 00:17:50,748 --> 00:17:52,663 There. 289 00:17:52,664 --> 00:17:57,664 Now open the door and move over...bitch. 290 00:18:15,706 --> 00:18:18,288 It's for thieves and half-wits like you. 291 00:18:18,289 --> 00:18:23,289 Oh, OK! Can we go now? 292 00:19:09,998 --> 00:19:11,288 Oh, let me help you. 293 00:19:11,289 --> 00:19:12,288 I got it. No it's OK. 294 00:19:12,289 --> 00:19:13,747 Help you. No. No no no. 295 00:19:13,748 --> 00:19:15,538 I'm not sleeping here. 296 00:19:15,539 --> 00:19:19,372 I'm not sleeping here. 297 00:19:19,373 --> 00:19:21,955 Take the car, then. 298 00:19:21,956 --> 00:19:24,872 The code is 2512. 299 00:19:24,873 --> 00:19:27,830 No, it's 42...No, 0812. 300 00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:29,497 4455... 301 00:19:29,498 --> 00:19:34,498 My fingers remember it, not my brain. 302 00:19:38,248 --> 00:19:42,038 Oh, no! 303 00:19:42,039 --> 00:19:43,997 You love all this, eh? 304 00:19:43,998 --> 00:19:48,998 Yeah, it's nice and traditional. I'll take the bottom. 305 00:19:50,456 --> 00:19:51,705 I bagsy it! 306 00:19:51,706 --> 00:19:55,372 I said it first, you can't. 307 00:19:55,373 --> 00:19:56,163 I have! 308 00:19:56,164 --> 00:19:58,372 We're going to have a problem. 309 00:19:58,373 --> 00:20:00,580 Yes, we are. 310 00:20:00,581 --> 00:20:02,330 OK, the chinny game! 311 00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:03,538 I'm not a kid. 312 00:20:03,539 --> 00:20:06,247 We always used it to settle things. 313 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:11,248 OK, but you never made me laugh. 314 00:20:13,123 --> 00:20:15,163 Hold the chin of the other chap 315 00:20:15,164 --> 00:20:17,788 The first to laugh gets a slap! 316 00:20:17,789 --> 00:20:22,789 And the upper bunk! 317 00:20:28,623 --> 00:20:30,705 A riddle for you. 318 00:20:30,706 --> 00:20:35,706 What do you call a fish with no eyes? 319 00:20:37,123 --> 00:20:39,580 A fsh. 320 00:20:39,581 --> 00:20:41,955 A fsh. 321 00:20:41,956 --> 00:20:43,705 Mask of seriousness. 322 00:20:43,706 --> 00:20:45,663 Mask of iron. 323 00:20:45,664 --> 00:20:50,664 Mascarpone. 324 00:20:52,248 --> 00:20:57,248 I am Chinese wise man. 325 00:21:00,331 --> 00:21:01,830 "Hello. 326 00:21:01,831 --> 00:21:04,080 "My name is Val閞ie. 327 00:21:04,081 --> 00:21:06,288 "How handsome you are. 328 00:21:06,289 --> 00:21:09,747 "And I am so ugly." 329 00:21:09,748 --> 00:21:10,872 I didn't laugh! 330 00:21:10,873 --> 00:21:15,873 No, you win. I'll take the top bunk. 331 00:21:23,289 --> 00:21:28,289 I don't believe it! 332 00:21:52,081 --> 00:21:54,163 What happened? 333 00:21:54,164 --> 00:21:59,164 You must have had a nightmare. 334 00:22:24,539 --> 00:22:27,580 Why not go with Helmut, then? 335 00:22:27,581 --> 00:22:31,747 Your half-and-half face must make a change from the routine. 336 00:22:31,748 --> 00:22:34,622 Well, you should know all about "routine". 337 00:22:34,623 --> 00:22:37,538 Missionary position once a month, 338 00:22:37,539 --> 00:22:40,080 then straight off to sleep. 339 00:22:40,081 --> 00:22:43,330 At least I have someone at home waiting for me. 340 00:22:43,331 --> 00:22:47,747 You couldn't cheat on your cleaning lady if you wanted to. 341 00:22:47,748 --> 00:22:50,913 One, she's a domestic engineer. 342 00:22:50,914 --> 00:22:54,497 And two, I don't want to cheat on her because I love her. 343 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,705 But if I did want to, I'd have no problem, OK? 344 00:22:57,706 --> 00:23:02,705 At my school I get the come-on from chicks like you every day. 345 00:23:02,706 --> 00:23:07,706 I can pull whoever I like. End of discussion. 346 00:23:07,914 --> 00:23:12,788 Whoever I like! 347 00:23:12,789 --> 00:23:15,330 The girl over there. 348 00:23:15,331 --> 00:23:20,331 Get her phone number and I'll make my own way. 349 00:23:22,706 --> 00:23:23,913 And the dress? 350 00:23:23,914 --> 00:23:27,747 You take it. 351 00:23:27,748 --> 00:23:29,122 That's a crap idea. 352 00:23:29,123 --> 00:23:32,372 I knew it. 353 00:23:32,373 --> 00:23:34,622 No, I'll do it. 354 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,955 It's still crap, though. 355 00:23:37,956 --> 00:23:41,288 And if by some chance you don't manage it... 356 00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:45,747 No, the car's in my name. 357 00:23:45,748 --> 00:23:49,955 Then you travel in the boot. 358 00:23:49,956 --> 00:23:52,705 Me, in the boot? 359 00:23:52,706 --> 00:23:56,247 OK. 360 00:23:56,248 --> 00:23:59,747 You'd better phone C閏ile to tell her you'll be late. 361 00:23:59,748 --> 00:24:04,748 Yeah, go on. 362 00:24:08,039 --> 00:24:13,039 Hi, hello. I am, I am Alan. 363 00:24:23,581 --> 00:24:28,581 What's the dickhead doing? 364 00:24:41,164 --> 00:24:43,372 I'll get your stuff out of the boot. 365 00:24:43,373 --> 00:24:47,038 Can I see that? 366 00:24:47,039 --> 00:24:49,913 Give me that. Give it here! 367 00:24:49,914 --> 00:24:52,663 Starting with 06? French? 368 00:24:52,664 --> 00:24:54,788 She has double nationality. 369 00:24:54,789 --> 00:24:58,913 She's half from here, half French. 370 00:24:58,914 --> 00:25:03,914 06-6722-2576 371 00:25:05,498 --> 00:25:10,498 Someone's calling you. I think it's me. 372 00:25:10,998 --> 00:25:14,288 You couldn't even make a number up. 373 00:25:14,289 --> 00:25:18,205 It was the first to spring to mind. 374 00:25:18,206 --> 00:25:23,206 You're not really going to make me go in the boot? 375 00:25:59,623 --> 00:26:02,830 You really don't want the bags on the back seats? 376 00:26:02,831 --> 00:26:07,831 - No, they'd scuff the leather. - As you wish. 377 00:26:16,998 --> 00:26:19,080 Mummy's diary, episode 30. 378 00:26:19,081 --> 00:26:24,081 I'm eating up the miles on the way to Corfu. 379 00:26:25,206 --> 00:26:27,872 Who's that? Dad? 380 00:26:27,873 --> 00:26:30,038 What were you doing in the boot? 381 00:26:30,039 --> 00:26:32,330 Scared someone'll steal your bag? 382 00:26:32,331 --> 00:26:34,413 Switch that off. 383 00:26:34,414 --> 00:26:39,414 And keep your eyes on the road! 384 00:26:39,498 --> 00:26:41,747 Go on, get out of my way! 385 00:26:41,748 --> 00:26:43,497 Hey, keep a safe distance! 386 00:26:43,498 --> 00:26:48,455 One chevron = danger. 387 00:26:48,456 --> 00:26:50,163 You're a shit driver. 388 00:26:50,164 --> 00:26:54,330 I had a shit teacher. 389 00:26:54,331 --> 00:26:57,163 Don't pick up, stay focused. 390 00:26:57,164 --> 00:26:58,955 No, Val閞ie! 391 00:26:58,956 --> 00:27:00,413 Hello, Martine? 392 00:27:00,414 --> 00:27:02,830 No, I haven't checked my e-mail. 393 00:27:02,831 --> 00:27:05,788 I'm stuck with my ex-husband. It's hell. 394 00:27:05,789 --> 00:27:07,413 Watch out! 395 00:27:07,414 --> 00:27:08,622 Look! 396 00:27:08,623 --> 00:27:09,455 Can't you see? 397 00:27:09,456 --> 00:27:11,247 No! My phone! 398 00:27:11,248 --> 00:27:16,248 Here's your phone. 399 00:27:18,956 --> 00:27:23,956 Val閞ie! 400 00:27:33,998 --> 00:27:35,122 Val閞ie! 401 00:27:35,123 --> 00:27:40,123 We tried but it didn't work. Make your own way. 402 00:27:40,289 --> 00:27:41,622 You're sick, Alain. 403 00:27:41,623 --> 00:27:43,288 You're really sick! 404 00:27:43,289 --> 00:27:44,330 You need help! 405 00:27:44,331 --> 00:27:47,663 Hey, watch it! Don't start that again! 406 00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:52,664 Stop it! Stop hitting me! 407 00:27:55,539 --> 00:27:58,455 - The handbrake! - What handbrake? 408 00:27:58,456 --> 00:28:03,456 Watch out, Alain! 409 00:28:26,748 --> 00:28:31,748 Alain! 410 00:28:32,123 --> 00:28:34,913 Alain! 411 00:28:34,914 --> 00:28:36,247 Alain, wait. 412 00:28:36,248 --> 00:28:39,330 - Leave me alone. - Stop sulking. 413 00:28:39,331 --> 00:28:42,288 Yes, I'm blowing it out of proportion! 414 00:28:42,289 --> 00:28:44,830 Because you forgot the handbrake 415 00:28:44,831 --> 00:28:47,788 I've lost my license, so I'm unemployed. 416 00:28:47,789 --> 00:28:51,247 A driving instructor sort of needs a driving license. 417 00:28:51,248 --> 00:28:54,163 OK, I'm sorry. Happy now? 418 00:28:54,164 --> 00:28:57,122 There's no need to apologise. 419 00:28:57,123 --> 00:29:00,830 I'm delighted that I now owe the rental company 25 grand. 420 00:29:00,831 --> 00:29:04,038 It might bother me that my clothes were destroyed. 421 00:29:04,039 --> 00:29:05,622 My laptop too! 422 00:29:05,623 --> 00:29:08,663 But no, I'm just being fussy. 423 00:29:08,664 --> 00:29:10,580 If you need money... 424 00:29:10,581 --> 00:29:14,663 All I want is to get to my daughter's wedding on time. 425 00:29:14,664 --> 00:29:18,622 No, actually, there's one thing you could do for me... 426 00:29:18,623 --> 00:29:23,623 Die! 427 00:29:53,373 --> 00:29:56,622 Here. 428 00:29:56,623 --> 00:29:58,080 No, I'm good. 429 00:29:58,081 --> 00:30:03,081 Take it. 430 00:30:10,998 --> 00:30:12,872 There's a bus in one hour. 431 00:30:12,873 --> 00:30:17,663 We'll catch that and not speak until we're there. 432 00:30:17,664 --> 00:30:22,664 It's a deal. 433 00:30:25,123 --> 00:30:30,123 At least you still have your mobile. 434 00:30:33,414 --> 00:30:37,413 - What? - Come on! 435 00:30:37,414 --> 00:30:42,414 - What? - "What?" 436 00:30:44,039 --> 00:30:46,288 Hurry, it's leaving! 437 00:30:46,289 --> 00:30:48,872 There was a queue. Here's your ticket. 438 00:30:48,873 --> 00:30:52,163 Haven't you loaded your bags? I'll give you a hand. 439 00:30:52,164 --> 00:30:57,164 Put the big one below. 440 00:30:58,914 --> 00:31:01,413 Sorry, this bus is to Athens. 441 00:31:01,414 --> 00:31:02,747 Yes, yes I know, yes. 442 00:31:02,748 --> 00:31:07,748 Your ticket is for Amsterdam. 443 00:31:08,456 --> 00:31:10,205 For Amsterdam. 444 00:31:10,206 --> 00:31:13,038 Wrong bus, then! 445 00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:14,997 Funny! Give me the right ticket. 446 00:31:14,998 --> 00:31:19,998 That's it. 447 00:31:20,123 --> 00:31:22,455 Sorry miss, I have to go... 448 00:31:22,456 --> 00:31:24,413 Please, please, wait for me two minutes, 449 00:31:24,414 --> 00:31:26,622 please I have to... to exchange my ticket. Just two minutes. 450 00:31:26,623 --> 00:31:28,788 You'll pay for this! 451 00:31:28,789 --> 00:31:29,330 I come back 452 00:31:29,331 --> 00:31:30,122 Two minutes 453 00:31:30,123 --> 00:31:35,123 Thank you. 454 00:31:35,289 --> 00:31:36,663 Please, go go go go now. 455 00:31:36,664 --> 00:31:38,205 Go She's crazy, I don't know her! 456 00:31:38,206 --> 00:31:43,206 Go, go! 457 00:31:51,289 --> 00:31:53,997 - I'll kill you! - The next one's in 5 days. 458 00:31:53,998 --> 00:31:55,038 Bastard! 459 00:31:55,039 --> 00:31:58,830 No, I'm not. I'm giving you your things back. 460 00:31:58,831 --> 00:32:02,913 Your lipstick, to look nice in Amsterdam. 461 00:32:02,914 --> 00:32:05,330 Your mobile. 462 00:32:05,331 --> 00:32:07,747 My cards and passport! 463 00:32:07,748 --> 00:32:12,205 Bastard! 464 00:32:12,206 --> 00:32:16,163 I'll kiss C閏ile for you. 465 00:32:16,164 --> 00:32:21,164 Bastard! 466 00:32:22,331 --> 00:32:27,331 Bastard! 467 00:32:55,873 --> 00:32:59,455 This bit... 468 00:32:59,456 --> 00:33:01,997 goes here... 469 00:33:01,998 --> 00:33:06,998 and this bit, here... 470 00:33:07,873 --> 00:33:12,873 Come on... 471 00:33:25,539 --> 00:33:29,372 Yes, C閏ile... 472 00:33:29,373 --> 00:33:31,830 No! 473 00:33:31,831 --> 00:33:36,831 No, don't cut out. Don't cut out on me. 474 00:33:37,914 --> 00:33:42,914 Don't cut out on me! 475 00:33:49,998 --> 00:33:53,705 Where are you going? 476 00:33:53,706 --> 00:33:54,705 Greece. 477 00:33:54,706 --> 00:33:55,913 Are you Fran鏰ise? 478 00:33:55,914 --> 00:33:56,538 Yes! 479 00:33:56,539 --> 00:34:01,539 Well, hop in. 480 00:34:03,248 --> 00:34:04,997 - Val閞ie. - Ezekiel. 481 00:34:04,998 --> 00:34:06,372 Thank you so much. 482 00:34:06,373 --> 00:34:08,913 Thank you, who? 483 00:34:08,914 --> 00:34:10,622 Thank you...Ezekiel? 484 00:34:10,623 --> 00:34:15,288 Thank you, Jesus, Christ the Lord! 485 00:34:15,289 --> 00:34:19,913 Welcome, my daughter. Here you are at peace. 486 00:34:19,914 --> 00:34:24,914 JESUS SAVES 487 00:35:06,748 --> 00:35:09,913 The bastard dumped me in the Austrian countryside. 488 00:35:09,914 --> 00:35:12,747 My child, no bad language in the house of God. 489 00:35:12,748 --> 00:35:14,080 We know only love. 490 00:35:14,081 --> 00:35:17,955 This volcano will show C閏ile what her father's really like. 491 00:35:17,956 --> 00:35:20,497 Yes. 492 00:35:20,498 --> 00:35:24,788 "Lord God Almighty, true and righteous are thy judgements. 493 00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:26,538 "The fourth angel poured out his vial 494 00:35:26,539 --> 00:35:29,122 "and power was given to him to scorch men. 495 00:35:29,123 --> 00:35:31,372 "Men were scorched with great heat, 496 00:35:31,373 --> 00:35:34,622 "and blasphemed the name of God. 497 00:35:34,623 --> 00:35:38,247 "And they repented not to give him glory." 498 00:35:38,248 --> 00:35:40,663 Saint John's Apocalypse. 499 00:35:40,664 --> 00:35:44,455 This volcano heralds the end of the world. 500 00:35:44,456 --> 00:35:46,997 I hadn't looked at it that way. 501 00:35:46,998 --> 00:35:50,455 Watching the TV coverage of those satanic flames, 502 00:35:50,456 --> 00:35:53,122 I understood it was a sign. 503 00:35:53,123 --> 00:35:55,955 - So I got my Ark on the road. - Ark? 504 00:35:55,956 --> 00:36:00,122 It took me 5 years to make it. 505 00:36:00,123 --> 00:36:03,122 - You're a mechanic. - Not originally. 506 00:36:03,123 --> 00:36:07,330 I got my qualifications in prison. 507 00:36:07,331 --> 00:36:09,330 Were you inside for long? 508 00:36:09,331 --> 00:36:13,080 - Two years? - Twenty. 509 00:36:13,081 --> 00:36:17,038 Then, one night, he came to me. With his 12 apostles. 510 00:36:17,039 --> 00:36:19,747 It was a bit crowded in my cell, 511 00:36:19,748 --> 00:36:21,872 but he cleansed my soul 512 00:36:21,873 --> 00:36:23,372 of those awful images 513 00:36:23,373 --> 00:36:26,538 of bloodied women begging me to finish them off. 514 00:36:26,539 --> 00:36:28,497 And he gave me a mission: 515 00:36:28,498 --> 00:36:29,997 to build an Ark 516 00:36:29,998 --> 00:36:34,998 and drive the stray sheep to Jerusalem. 517 00:36:35,081 --> 00:36:37,622 Maybe I'll get out here. 518 00:36:37,623 --> 00:36:39,872 Central locking. 519 00:36:39,873 --> 00:36:41,580 Evil cannot enter. 520 00:36:41,581 --> 00:36:44,413 And if it does... 521 00:36:44,414 --> 00:36:49,413 I'm ready! 522 00:36:49,414 --> 00:36:53,330 Hey my friend... 523 00:36:53,331 --> 00:36:58,331 my friend, come on, come on, 524 00:37:00,956 --> 00:37:02,122 H?drink, drink drink drink drink... 525 00:37:02,123 --> 00:37:07,123 No, no, no, no, no 526 00:37:09,123 --> 00:37:14,123 Oh sorry... It's an accident. Sorry, sorry... 527 00:37:14,956 --> 00:37:18,622 I'm sorry, 528 00:37:18,623 --> 00:37:21,330 I'm sorry... 529 00:37:21,331 --> 00:37:23,455 Back, moove, back! 530 00:37:23,456 --> 00:37:24,705 Open the door. 531 00:37:24,706 --> 00:37:25,747 Are you crazy? 532 00:37:25,748 --> 00:37:30,748 Open or I'll fucking shoot! 533 00:38:16,873 --> 00:38:19,622 C閏ile 534 00:38:19,623 --> 00:38:24,623 My daughter... 535 00:38:32,289 --> 00:38:35,830 Where are you going? 536 00:38:35,831 --> 00:38:39,122 I don't know how to thank you, Ezekiel. 537 00:38:39,123 --> 00:38:39,997 Alain, 538 00:38:39,998 --> 00:38:44,998 "I am the good shepherd. I lay down my life for my sheep." 539 00:38:45,206 --> 00:38:47,497 What's all this? 540 00:38:47,498 --> 00:38:48,580 Go ahead. 541 00:38:48,581 --> 00:38:50,747 Here? 542 00:38:50,748 --> 00:38:52,288 Holy water. 543 00:38:52,289 --> 00:38:54,455 The other. 544 00:38:54,456 --> 00:38:55,497 The host. 545 00:38:55,498 --> 00:38:57,747 Well, Pringles. 546 00:38:57,748 --> 00:38:59,747 And finally, 547 00:38:59,748 --> 00:39:00,705 the confessional. 548 00:39:00,706 --> 00:39:02,913 Amazing! 549 00:39:02,914 --> 00:39:07,080 If you have a weakness for sodomy, you can confess now. 550 00:39:07,081 --> 00:39:08,538 No, not at all. 551 00:39:08,539 --> 00:39:10,663 - Not even a little? - No. 552 00:39:10,664 --> 00:39:11,913 Not ever? 553 00:39:11,914 --> 00:39:13,663 No. 554 00:39:13,664 --> 00:39:17,455 I'm joking, Alain! 555 00:39:17,456 --> 00:39:18,913 It's my mobile abbey. 556 00:39:18,914 --> 00:39:21,497 An abbey with ABS! 557 00:39:21,498 --> 00:39:25,288 Not bad. 558 00:39:25,289 --> 00:39:26,205 What's that? 559 00:39:26,206 --> 00:39:28,163 It's for my daughter's wedding. 560 00:39:28,164 --> 00:39:30,705 Her mother's wedding dress. 561 00:39:30,706 --> 00:39:32,288 And where's her mother? 562 00:39:32,289 --> 00:39:35,580 I got rid of her. 563 00:39:35,581 --> 00:39:37,413 Meaning? 564 00:39:37,414 --> 00:39:39,038 Chopped her up? 565 00:39:39,039 --> 00:39:40,872 In little pieces? 566 00:39:40,873 --> 00:39:43,330 And the head? Did you sink it? 567 00:39:43,331 --> 00:39:46,163 Yes, you sank it! 568 00:39:46,164 --> 00:39:51,164 No, I was being figurative. 569 00:40:04,164 --> 00:40:06,705 Mr Ezekiel. 570 00:40:06,706 --> 00:40:09,372 Do you mind if I lie down a bit? 571 00:40:09,373 --> 00:40:12,538 No, of course not. Go in the nave. 572 00:40:12,539 --> 00:40:17,539 Thanks. 573 00:40:44,789 --> 00:40:47,872 Alone I was and lost 574 00:40:47,873 --> 00:40:51,163 No direction had I, nor worth 575 00:40:51,164 --> 00:40:56,164 'Twas a life in tatters, but then he came 576 00:40:57,039 --> 00:40:58,247 Jesus! 577 00:40:58,248 --> 00:40:58,830 You! 578 00:40:58,831 --> 00:41:03,831 Jesus, Jesus... 579 00:41:13,539 --> 00:41:18,539 Alone I was and dying... 580 00:41:21,373 --> 00:41:26,373 Let me go! 581 00:41:44,664 --> 00:41:49,664 I'll kill you! 582 00:41:53,331 --> 00:41:54,205 Who? 583 00:41:54,206 --> 00:41:59,206 Joseph! 584 00:42:09,956 --> 00:42:14,956 Don't move. 585 00:42:15,706 --> 00:42:16,580 What are you doing? 586 00:42:16,581 --> 00:42:21,581 You'll shut up when I've cut your head off. 587 00:42:23,498 --> 00:42:28,498 Jesus? 588 00:42:33,998 --> 00:42:35,288 I knew it! 589 00:42:35,289 --> 00:42:38,663 Satan, Beelzebub, here! 590 00:42:38,664 --> 00:42:39,580 Calm down. 591 00:42:39,581 --> 00:42:40,997 Don't you move! 592 00:42:40,998 --> 00:42:44,330 Everything's OK. Just a little lovers' tiff. 593 00:42:44,331 --> 00:42:47,288 Lovers? You two love each other? 594 00:42:47,289 --> 00:42:49,247 - Tell her you love her. - No. 595 00:42:49,248 --> 00:42:52,705 Tell her! 596 00:42:52,706 --> 00:42:54,288 Val閞ie, I love you. 597 00:42:54,289 --> 00:42:55,413 That's nice. 598 00:42:55,414 --> 00:42:56,872 Better than that! 599 00:42:56,873 --> 00:43:01,747 Lovingly! 600 00:43:01,748 --> 00:43:02,913 Val閞ie... 601 00:43:02,914 --> 00:43:04,538 Val閞ie, I love you. 602 00:43:04,539 --> 00:43:07,413 I've always loved you. 603 00:43:07,414 --> 00:43:09,788 I've never loved anyone but you. 604 00:43:09,789 --> 00:43:10,705 I love you. 605 00:43:10,706 --> 00:43:13,913 Beautiful. 606 00:43:13,914 --> 00:43:18,914 Now, Mummy, tell Daddy you love him. 607 00:43:19,873 --> 00:43:23,122 You abandoned us and hurt us. 608 00:43:23,123 --> 00:43:25,955 Do it now! 609 00:43:25,956 --> 00:43:29,080 Don't talk to your mother like that. 610 00:43:29,081 --> 00:43:32,247 Do you hear me? Put that toy down right now. 611 00:43:32,248 --> 00:43:33,913 Do it! 612 00:43:33,914 --> 00:43:37,122 And tidy your room. It's a pigsty. 613 00:43:37,123 --> 00:43:37,997 Yes, Mummy. 614 00:43:37,998 --> 00:43:40,997 Hurry, for God's sake. 615 00:43:40,998 --> 00:43:42,163 Blasphemy! 616 00:43:42,164 --> 00:43:47,164 God, no! 617 00:43:54,331 --> 00:43:59,331 Come on! 618 00:44:01,956 --> 00:44:03,163 Come on! 619 00:44:03,164 --> 00:44:08,164 - Come on! - Wait! 620 00:44:13,914 --> 00:44:18,914 Wait! 621 00:44:38,081 --> 00:44:39,247 I'll fix you up. 622 00:44:39,248 --> 00:44:44,248 I've found a hotel. 623 00:44:46,623 --> 00:44:51,623 Stand up straight. 624 00:44:53,956 --> 00:44:57,580 Hello! 625 00:44:57,581 --> 00:45:02,581 Hello... 626 00:45:03,206 --> 00:45:04,413 Is he OK? 627 00:45:04,414 --> 00:45:08,330 Oh Yes, yes. He he drunk a lot at the wedding. 628 00:45:08,331 --> 00:45:09,538 Just married? 629 00:45:09,539 --> 00:45:13,747 Yes, yes, Look I just have my...my dress on me. 630 00:45:13,748 --> 00:45:18,080 Please, is it possible to have a room. Honeymoon. 631 00:45:18,081 --> 00:45:19,205 Really? 632 00:45:19,206 --> 00:45:20,413 Yes. 633 00:45:20,414 --> 00:45:24,872 I will need a credit card. 634 00:45:24,873 --> 00:45:26,913 Credit card. 635 00:45:26,914 --> 00:45:27,788 My credit cards. 636 00:45:27,789 --> 00:45:32,789 I don't have them. I left everything on the bus. 637 00:45:32,956 --> 00:45:36,705 I'm sorry... we... we don't have credit card. 638 00:45:36,706 --> 00:45:37,997 No card, no room. 639 00:45:37,998 --> 00:45:41,330 Oh Please, Oh please, I will call my bank tomorrow. 640 00:45:41,331 --> 00:45:46,331 Wait... 641 00:45:48,581 --> 00:45:49,747 And the watch. 642 00:45:49,748 --> 00:45:51,788 What? You're not serious. 643 00:45:51,789 --> 00:45:54,747 I could buy a dozen shitty hotels with this! 644 00:45:54,748 --> 00:45:57,497 - What is it? - He wants my watch. 645 00:45:57,498 --> 00:45:58,538 Give it to him. 646 00:45:58,539 --> 00:46:03,539 No watch, no room. 647 00:46:04,956 --> 00:46:06,705 Take this. This is pure gold. 648 00:46:06,706 --> 00:46:09,330 No, no, my chain... 649 00:46:09,331 --> 00:46:14,331 The key of the room. 650 00:46:14,956 --> 00:46:19,956 Five-Zero-Six. 651 00:46:22,456 --> 00:46:25,872 Fifth floor. 652 00:46:25,873 --> 00:46:30,873 One last effort, we're almost there. 653 00:46:32,581 --> 00:46:37,581 The elevator is broken! 654 00:46:42,123 --> 00:46:43,455 I'm done for. 655 00:46:43,456 --> 00:46:48,456 Oh, what a wuss! It's only a little dart. 656 00:46:48,789 --> 00:46:50,913 I should have let him shoot you. 657 00:46:50,914 --> 00:46:55,163 You want my thanks? Thank you, Alain, you're a hero! 658 00:46:55,164 --> 00:46:57,913 You're being mean. 659 00:46:57,914 --> 00:46:59,455 These stairs never end. 660 00:46:59,456 --> 00:47:02,038 We're in the corridor. 661 00:47:02,039 --> 00:47:03,538 Shit! 662 00:47:03,539 --> 00:47:05,288 We're nearly there. 663 00:47:05,289 --> 00:47:09,872 Wait... 664 00:47:09,873 --> 00:47:14,080 I'm slipping away. 665 00:47:14,081 --> 00:47:15,788 It's the end. 666 00:47:15,789 --> 00:47:17,705 The pain's too much. 667 00:47:17,706 --> 00:47:22,205 You're a vet, put me down. 668 00:47:22,206 --> 00:47:24,663 Just leave me. 669 00:47:24,664 --> 00:47:26,663 OK, then. Bye. 670 00:47:26,664 --> 00:47:28,288 No. 671 00:47:28,289 --> 00:47:33,289 Val...What are you doing? 672 00:47:35,456 --> 00:47:39,122 Mummy's diary, episode... 673 00:47:39,123 --> 00:47:41,538 Who gives a toss! 674 00:47:41,539 --> 00:47:45,080 We're getting closer. Slowly. 675 00:47:45,081 --> 00:47:47,872 Right now we're... 676 00:47:47,873 --> 00:47:50,413 somewhere in Slovenia. 677 00:47:50,414 --> 00:47:55,414 I hope we make it. One step at a time. 678 00:47:59,831 --> 00:48:04,831 This is becoming a habit. 679 00:48:19,039 --> 00:48:21,580 Wait, wait! 680 00:48:21,581 --> 00:48:24,205 Are you sure about this? 681 00:48:24,206 --> 00:48:25,413 No, I'm not. 682 00:48:25,414 --> 00:48:27,163 You're a pain. 683 00:48:27,164 --> 00:48:30,163 It's not very deep. 684 00:48:30,164 --> 00:48:31,747 This'll hurt, right? 685 00:48:31,748 --> 00:48:35,080 "This'll hurt..." What a cry-baby! 686 00:48:35,081 --> 00:48:38,663 Move. 687 00:48:38,664 --> 00:48:43,664 - Cry-baby? - What are you doing? 688 00:49:20,164 --> 00:49:21,705 Sorry. 689 00:49:21,706 --> 00:49:26,706 Sorry, I...l don't know what... 690 00:50:33,664 --> 00:50:38,664 Call quick Flights have started again 691 00:50:39,498 --> 00:50:42,747 Martine, it's me. Yes, fine. 692 00:50:42,748 --> 00:50:46,497 In my desk, in the second drawer, 693 00:50:46,498 --> 00:50:48,997 there's the clinic's credit card. 694 00:50:48,998 --> 00:50:50,872 Yes. 695 00:50:50,873 --> 00:50:53,913 Book a flight from Ljubljana to Athens. 696 00:50:53,914 --> 00:50:55,413 Immediately. 697 00:50:55,414 --> 00:50:57,997 Yes, one person. 698 00:50:57,998 --> 00:51:00,372 Yes, Martine. Thank you. 699 00:51:00,373 --> 00:51:05,373 Goodbye. 700 00:51:20,581 --> 00:51:23,538 Where... where...where is the young man with the long hair? 701 00:51:23,539 --> 00:51:25,997 Ye.. ye...yes but he is not here now. He is sleeping. 702 00:51:25,998 --> 00:51:28,788 Bugger "sleeping"! He's got my chain. 703 00:51:28,789 --> 00:51:30,038 My chain. 704 00:51:30,039 --> 00:51:31,580 But I don't know. 705 00:51:31,581 --> 00:51:36,581 Wait... wait a second... 706 00:51:39,331 --> 00:51:40,455 It's working? 707 00:51:40,456 --> 00:51:45,456 Oh thank you. 708 00:51:47,414 --> 00:51:49,580 The planes are flying again. 709 00:51:49,581 --> 00:51:52,538 Oh, you've seen. 710 00:51:52,539 --> 00:51:54,372 Val閞ie? 711 00:51:54,373 --> 00:51:55,205 Shit! 712 00:51:55,206 --> 00:51:57,872 I'm gonna kill her, I'm gonna kill her... 713 00:51:57,873 --> 00:52:00,205 What are you doing? 714 00:52:00,206 --> 00:52:04,038 I thought you'd gone. They're flying again. 715 00:52:04,039 --> 00:52:06,122 My mobile. Why did you...? 716 00:52:06,123 --> 00:52:07,288 - What? - Come on. 717 00:52:07,289 --> 00:52:09,663 Where? 718 00:52:09,664 --> 00:52:11,080 You called France? 719 00:52:11,081 --> 00:52:13,372 Quiet! 720 00:52:13,373 --> 00:52:15,997 That costs extra! 721 00:52:15,998 --> 00:52:17,580 What are you doing? 722 00:52:17,581 --> 00:52:20,288 - Now! - Now what? 723 00:52:20,289 --> 00:52:20,955 Hurry! 724 00:52:20,956 --> 00:52:23,080 Hurry what? 725 00:52:23,081 --> 00:52:28,081 What are you doing? Val閞ie? 726 00:52:36,706 --> 00:52:40,122 Do you realise what we're doing? Do you? 727 00:52:40,123 --> 00:52:42,288 I'm the one who stole it. 728 00:52:42,289 --> 00:52:45,080 If we're arrested, just say I took you hostage. 729 00:52:45,081 --> 00:52:48,455 You can say I shot you too. No risk to you, as usual. 730 00:52:48,456 --> 00:52:49,872 Where are we going? 731 00:52:49,873 --> 00:52:51,455 The airport. 732 00:52:51,456 --> 00:52:54,747 Your plane for Athens is in 45 minutes. 733 00:52:54,748 --> 00:52:56,247 What about you? Aren't you coming? 734 00:52:56,248 --> 00:53:01,248 Of course I am. Give me my passport, the one you left on the bus! 735 00:53:18,456 --> 00:53:19,622 I'll let you know. 736 00:53:19,623 --> 00:53:22,163 Don't bother. Here. 737 00:53:22,164 --> 00:53:24,497 Give it to C閏ile for me. 738 00:53:24,498 --> 00:53:29,498 - What about you? - I'll manage. 739 00:53:34,581 --> 00:53:35,705 About last night... 740 00:53:35,706 --> 00:53:40,706 Hurry or you'll miss your plane. 741 00:53:58,831 --> 00:54:01,538 Sorry! I... I'm French. Fran鏰ise. 742 00:54:01,539 --> 00:54:04,330 You work here? 743 00:54:04,331 --> 00:54:09,331 Ah oui... No, no, no no I'm travelling. 744 00:54:10,831 --> 00:54:11,997 Who was that car? 745 00:54:11,998 --> 00:54:14,663 Ah the car... yes. 746 00:54:14,664 --> 00:54:19,664 Miss, is this your car? 747 00:54:29,123 --> 00:54:32,038 Miss, you have the papers or not? 748 00:54:32,039 --> 00:54:36,413 Yes, yes relax. 749 00:54:36,414 --> 00:54:38,747 Listen to me my friend. 750 00:54:38,748 --> 00:54:40,872 It's funny but it's...it's not my car, 751 00:54:40,873 --> 00:54:42,997 but we can discuss? 752 00:54:42,998 --> 00:54:46,663 Look at this watch, this is a very very expensive watch 753 00:54:46,664 --> 00:54:51,664 if...if you want you can take it and I go? 754 00:54:58,664 --> 00:55:02,622 Next please... Sir... 755 00:55:02,623 --> 00:55:04,247 I'm French! 756 00:55:04,248 --> 00:55:06,205 Do you understand? 757 00:55:06,206 --> 00:55:11,206 Shut your mouth! Come on get inside 758 00:55:12,831 --> 00:55:16,455 - What...? - I'm saving your life! 759 00:55:16,456 --> 00:55:17,955 By stealing a police car? 760 00:55:17,956 --> 00:55:22,956 Well, you said I never take any risks! 761 00:55:23,873 --> 00:55:28,372 Shit! 762 00:55:28,373 --> 00:55:29,913 What do we do? 763 00:55:29,914 --> 00:55:31,747 Don't you have a plan? 764 00:55:31,748 --> 00:55:34,288 - This was my plan. - What a moron! 765 00:55:34,289 --> 00:55:39,289 Could you just once say thanks? 766 00:55:39,581 --> 00:55:41,663 Thanks for stealing a police car 767 00:55:41,664 --> 00:55:46,664 to go 50 metres in! 768 00:56:08,414 --> 00:56:12,455 Now where? 769 00:56:12,456 --> 00:56:17,456 There! 770 00:56:23,539 --> 00:56:25,538 - Come on! - In your dreams! 771 00:56:25,539 --> 00:56:27,038 I can do this. 772 00:56:27,039 --> 00:56:29,080 No way! 773 00:56:29,081 --> 00:56:33,288 It's an MS Rallye 893A. I've done 120 hours in this. 774 00:56:33,289 --> 00:56:36,205 OK, you can take risks, I believe you! 775 00:56:36,206 --> 00:56:38,413 I've flown over the Grand Canyon, 776 00:56:38,414 --> 00:56:40,830 over the snow-covered tundra... 777 00:56:40,831 --> 00:56:41,955 Alain! 778 00:56:41,956 --> 00:56:44,455 I've landed on the Great Wall of China! 779 00:56:44,456 --> 00:56:47,663 On your computer in your hovel in your crappy suburb! 780 00:56:47,664 --> 00:56:52,664 Master switch, alternator... 781 00:56:55,873 --> 00:57:00,873 Go on! 782 00:57:12,081 --> 00:57:17,081 They're shooting! 783 00:57:17,498 --> 00:57:22,498 Where's the runway? 784 00:57:26,123 --> 00:57:28,330 Shit! 785 00:57:28,331 --> 00:57:30,205 - It's OK. - Take off! 786 00:57:30,206 --> 00:57:35,206 - Another 300 metres. - We'll never make it! 787 00:57:40,539 --> 00:57:45,539 Faster, faster! 788 00:57:50,414 --> 00:57:52,497 It's not like on my computer! 789 00:57:52,498 --> 00:57:57,498 Take off now and get us away from this shit-hole! 790 00:58:00,623 --> 00:58:05,623 Oh, shit! 791 00:58:29,373 --> 00:58:32,497 - Which way is Greece? - How would I know? 792 00:58:32,498 --> 00:58:35,163 Right or left? 793 00:58:35,164 --> 00:58:36,288 Left. 794 00:58:36,289 --> 00:58:41,289 Right, then. 795 00:59:03,581 --> 00:59:06,163 Pilot, do you know where we are? 796 00:59:06,164 --> 00:59:08,913 "Captain", not "pilot". 797 00:59:08,914 --> 00:59:13,163 Geographically speaking, we're above Croatia, 798 00:59:13,164 --> 00:59:15,913 at an altitude of 12,000 feet. 799 00:59:15,914 --> 00:59:20,580 At this cruising speed we should reach the Greek coast in 3 hours. 800 00:59:20,581 --> 00:59:25,581 We'll fly over Serbia, then Montenegro, then Albania... 801 00:59:25,623 --> 00:59:30,623 You're so boring. 802 00:59:31,248 --> 00:59:32,788 What are you doing? 803 00:59:32,789 --> 00:59:37,580 Three hours to go. I'm getting some sleep. 804 00:59:37,581 --> 00:59:39,288 What? 805 00:59:39,289 --> 00:59:44,289 Sleep. It means you trust me. 806 01:00:24,623 --> 01:00:29,623 Oh, no! 807 01:00:30,164 --> 01:00:35,164 I don't believe it! 808 01:00:40,664 --> 01:00:45,664 You damn thing! 809 01:00:45,831 --> 01:00:48,163 Are we there? 810 01:00:48,164 --> 01:00:50,872 No. 811 01:00:50,873 --> 01:00:52,580 Is there a problem? 812 01:00:52,581 --> 01:00:55,955 Can't you hear? We're out of fuel. 813 01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:59,830 And you've just realised? 814 01:00:59,831 --> 01:01:00,913 What do we do now? 815 01:01:00,914 --> 01:01:05,247 On my computer I crash and take off again. 816 01:01:05,248 --> 01:01:06,913 Land this plane now! 817 01:01:06,914 --> 01:01:11,914 Where? Look! 818 01:01:12,373 --> 01:01:16,122 Come on! 819 01:01:16,123 --> 01:01:18,163 What are you doing? 820 01:01:18,164 --> 01:01:20,705 I want to talk to C閏ile one last time. 821 01:01:20,706 --> 01:01:25,205 I'll get us down. 822 01:01:25,206 --> 01:01:26,872 Sweetheart... 823 01:01:26,873 --> 01:01:28,580 Mum, are you OK? 824 01:01:28,581 --> 01:01:32,455 Yes, I'm with your father. 825 01:01:32,456 --> 01:01:34,705 - Hi, baby. - Have you arrived? 826 01:01:34,706 --> 01:01:36,997 Not exactly. 827 01:01:36,998 --> 01:01:39,205 We just wanted to say we love you. 828 01:01:39,206 --> 01:01:41,663 Yes, we love you very much. 829 01:01:41,664 --> 01:01:44,205 And we're happy you're getting married. 830 01:01:44,206 --> 01:01:46,955 But we won't be able to make it. 831 01:01:46,956 --> 01:01:49,163 OK, no worries. 832 01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:53,247 I thought just this once we'd be together. But no! 833 01:01:53,248 --> 01:01:58,248 You can keep your "love". Bye! 834 01:02:57,998 --> 01:03:00,872 See! 835 01:03:00,873 --> 01:03:03,413 - What? - I told you I could do it. 836 01:03:03,414 --> 01:03:05,913 Oh, yeah, right! 837 01:03:05,914 --> 01:03:10,914 Yeah! 838 01:03:11,081 --> 01:03:14,997 What C閏ile said just didn't sound like her. 839 01:03:14,998 --> 01:03:15,997 It was her, though. 840 01:03:15,998 --> 01:03:18,955 What do you know? You know nothing about her. 841 01:03:18,956 --> 01:03:21,122 Don't start. 842 01:03:21,123 --> 01:03:23,038 What does she have for brekky? 843 01:03:23,039 --> 01:03:25,455 - What? - Hot chocolate, three spoons. 844 01:03:25,456 --> 01:03:28,247 Two, no taste. Four, too sweet. 845 01:03:28,248 --> 01:03:30,288 Her French teacher at school? 846 01:03:30,289 --> 01:03:31,747 Oh, stop it! 847 01:03:31,748 --> 01:03:35,205 Mrs Potter. She couldn't stand her. 848 01:03:35,206 --> 01:03:37,205 Her Facebook password? 849 01:03:37,206 --> 01:03:39,163 You know that? 850 01:03:39,164 --> 01:03:42,038 You know her Facebook password? 851 01:03:42,039 --> 01:03:44,580 C閟oul89. But she's changed it since. 852 01:03:44,581 --> 01:03:46,538 Her favourite character in Friends? 853 01:03:46,539 --> 01:03:47,288 Chandler 854 01:03:47,289 --> 01:03:49,997 No, Phoebe! 855 01:03:49,998 --> 01:03:52,205 The first boy to make her cry? 856 01:03:52,206 --> 01:03:53,872 Hang on, hang on... 857 01:03:53,873 --> 01:03:55,747 The first boy to make her cry? 858 01:03:55,748 --> 01:03:57,830 Wait! 859 01:03:57,831 --> 01:04:00,122 Gr間oire Billot. 860 01:04:00,123 --> 01:04:01,455 - You didn't know. - I did. 861 01:04:01,456 --> 01:04:02,997 No, you didn't. 862 01:04:02,998 --> 01:04:04,538 I did! 863 01:04:04,539 --> 01:04:07,747 You didn't! 864 01:04:07,748 --> 01:04:10,788 OK, I get it. I was a bad mother. 865 01:04:10,789 --> 01:04:12,955 No, just absent. Which is worse. 866 01:04:12,956 --> 01:04:17,247 And I regret it every day. But I don't lie to myself. 867 01:04:17,248 --> 01:04:21,247 Sometimes a daughter doesn't need her dad, 868 01:04:21,248 --> 01:04:25,455 she doesn't want to discuss Gr間oire Thingy dumping her, 869 01:04:25,456 --> 01:04:28,038 she wants to cry alone in her room, 870 01:04:28,039 --> 01:04:32,330 she doesn't want your advice, your support, your lectures... 871 01:04:32,331 --> 01:04:35,122 You suffocated her. You suffocate everyone. 872 01:04:35,123 --> 01:04:40,123 That's why we leave you. 873 01:04:41,206 --> 01:04:42,288 OK? 874 01:04:42,289 --> 01:04:47,289 You get it now? 875 01:05:23,789 --> 01:05:28,789 Beautiful, though, isn't it? 876 01:05:30,289 --> 01:05:35,289 We're in the middle of nowhere, we'll never make it. 877 01:05:36,081 --> 01:05:41,081 Five minutes rest. 878 01:05:44,414 --> 01:05:46,830 C閏ile 879 01:05:46,831 --> 01:05:49,663 My daughter 880 01:05:49,664 --> 01:05:52,247 Here you are 881 01:05:52,248 --> 01:05:55,747 And here am I, I am thirty 882 01:05:55,748 --> 01:05:57,413 And you... 883 01:05:57,414 --> 01:06:00,080 Shit! I am thirty, and you... 884 01:06:00,081 --> 01:06:05,081 "You're six months old"! Shit, it's easy enough! 885 01:06:05,539 --> 01:06:07,455 I'm going. 886 01:06:07,456 --> 01:06:10,080 Wait! OK, I'm sorry. 887 01:06:10,081 --> 01:06:12,747 Just wait a couple of minutes. 888 01:06:12,748 --> 01:06:17,748 Two minutes, then we go. 889 01:06:37,789 --> 01:06:40,663 - Weird Romanian! - We're in Albania. 890 01:06:40,664 --> 01:06:44,538 Same thing. 891 01:06:44,539 --> 01:06:48,038 She's cute, though. 892 01:06:48,039 --> 01:06:50,997 For five euros she'll suck you off in the barn. 893 01:06:50,998 --> 01:06:53,622 We have no barn. 894 01:06:53,623 --> 01:06:57,330 She speaks French. 895 01:06:57,331 --> 01:06:58,622 You speak French? 896 01:06:58,623 --> 01:07:00,288 Yes, a little. 897 01:07:00,289 --> 01:07:05,205 She understood. 898 01:07:05,206 --> 01:07:06,580 You lost? 899 01:07:06,581 --> 01:07:11,581 We're going to Corfu. 900 01:07:18,331 --> 01:07:19,622 Tomorrow, 901 01:07:19,623 --> 01:07:21,913 my daddy get you close. 902 01:07:21,914 --> 01:07:24,163 Thanks, that's fantastic. 903 01:07:24,164 --> 01:07:26,288 Fantastic. Can't we go now? 904 01:07:26,289 --> 01:07:28,455 No, is not possible. 905 01:07:28,456 --> 01:07:33,456 Tonight is festival. 906 01:07:44,206 --> 01:07:46,247 What are you celebrating? 907 01:07:46,248 --> 01:07:47,663 Is spring festival. 908 01:07:47,664 --> 01:07:50,705 The animals, trees, flowers... 909 01:07:50,706 --> 01:07:52,288 Why the eagle? 910 01:07:52,289 --> 01:07:54,747 Eagle is symbol of Albania. 911 01:07:54,748 --> 01:07:57,413 - Like cock for you. - An eagle's classier. 912 01:07:57,414 --> 01:08:00,497 Eagle is very important to us. 913 01:08:00,498 --> 01:08:02,038 He protect us. 914 01:08:02,039 --> 01:08:05,038 Sacred animal. 915 01:08:05,039 --> 01:08:07,288 So you French, 916 01:08:07,289 --> 01:08:09,747 Yes, yes 917 01:08:09,748 --> 01:08:14,748 Ah ah ah... la vie en rose. 918 01:08:16,081 --> 01:08:21,081 I... I Os...l Osman. 919 01:08:21,289 --> 01:08:24,205 What you name? 920 01:08:24,206 --> 01:08:26,372 My name is Screwyou. 921 01:08:26,373 --> 01:08:29,163 Sukroo...? 922 01:08:29,164 --> 01:08:31,038 Screw you. 923 01:08:31,039 --> 01:08:34,622 Tenmerde ? lt's a nice name... nice 924 01:08:34,623 --> 01:08:37,830 Oh very nice, yes. 925 01:08:37,831 --> 01:08:39,580 Am I interrupting? 926 01:08:39,581 --> 01:08:41,872 - Funny! - I can leave you two alone. 927 01:08:41,873 --> 01:08:43,788 Stay! 928 01:08:43,789 --> 01:08:46,205 He's cute. 929 01:08:46,206 --> 01:08:47,872 To C閏ile's wedding! 930 01:08:47,873 --> 01:08:49,913 And all our wasted years. 931 01:08:49,914 --> 01:08:54,914 That'll take a lot more drink! 932 01:09:03,831 --> 01:09:06,247 What is that? 933 01:09:06,248 --> 01:09:10,247 You don't want to know. 934 01:09:10,248 --> 01:09:11,872 How did we end up like this? 935 01:09:11,873 --> 01:09:13,622 There was the volcano, 936 01:09:13,623 --> 01:09:15,413 then you trashed the car... 937 01:09:15,414 --> 01:09:17,747 No, seriously. 938 01:09:17,748 --> 01:09:22,748 How did we end up hating each other with such venom? 939 01:09:23,873 --> 01:09:28,873 I don't know. 940 01:09:31,539 --> 01:09:34,205 Other couples just ignore each other. 941 01:09:34,206 --> 01:09:39,206 Maybe we can't just ignore each other. 942 01:09:43,289 --> 01:09:48,289 This is our first holiday together. 943 01:09:48,373 --> 01:09:53,373 To our honeymoon, then! 944 01:09:56,456 --> 01:10:00,372 I'd forgotten how you squeak like a strangled owl 945 01:10:00,373 --> 01:10:05,373 when making love. 946 01:10:06,331 --> 01:10:11,331 So had I. 947 01:10:27,789 --> 01:10:28,788 Tradition. 948 01:10:28,789 --> 01:10:30,330 No, I'd rather not. 949 01:10:30,331 --> 01:10:35,331 No, thanks. 950 01:11:01,456 --> 01:11:06,456 Oh, shit! 951 01:11:06,664 --> 01:11:09,497 Val閞ie, do something. 952 01:11:09,498 --> 01:11:14,498 It's dead. 953 01:11:36,998 --> 01:11:41,998 Thanks. Sorry about the... 954 01:12:21,498 --> 01:12:25,747 And here we are, in Greece! 955 01:12:25,748 --> 01:12:28,330 Right on time for your wedding. 956 01:12:28,331 --> 01:12:33,331 Isn't that wonderful? 957 01:12:42,914 --> 01:12:47,914 Are we...Are we arrived? 958 01:12:55,164 --> 01:13:00,164 Why won't he talk to me? 959 01:13:03,206 --> 01:13:04,955 I wanted to tell you... 960 01:13:04,956 --> 01:13:09,956 Sometimes we say things we don't mean. 961 01:13:10,498 --> 01:13:14,747 I know you're a good father. 962 01:13:14,748 --> 01:13:15,997 It hurt at the time, 963 01:13:15,998 --> 01:13:20,998 but C閏ile was right to choose to live with you rather than me. 964 01:13:24,456 --> 01:13:28,080 Thanks. 965 01:13:28,081 --> 01:13:30,080 Is that all? 966 01:13:30,081 --> 01:13:31,788 What? 967 01:13:31,789 --> 01:13:33,580 I bare my soul 968 01:13:33,581 --> 01:13:37,747 and all you say is "thanks"? 969 01:13:37,748 --> 01:13:40,788 Thank you very much. 970 01:13:40,789 --> 01:13:43,622 What a moron! 971 01:13:43,623 --> 01:13:47,205 I take it all back. I didn't mean a word of it. 972 01:13:47,206 --> 01:13:52,206 Too late now. 973 01:13:53,873 --> 01:13:58,873 Excuse me. I'm really, really sorry for... for the eagle. 974 01:14:01,873 --> 01:14:06,873 Not funny. 975 01:14:22,164 --> 01:14:24,205 What are you doing with her? 976 01:14:24,206 --> 01:14:26,122 That's not the problem. 977 01:14:26,123 --> 01:14:28,163 You lied to me. 978 01:14:28,164 --> 01:14:30,580 Yes, I lied. 979 01:14:30,581 --> 01:14:32,538 You can give me a bollocking 980 01:14:32,539 --> 01:14:33,997 when I get there. 981 01:14:33,998 --> 01:14:38,998 But for now can you ask them to wait? We're in Corfu. 982 01:14:39,206 --> 01:14:42,205 The cops think we're illegal immigrants. 983 01:14:42,206 --> 01:14:45,663 - But we'll soon sort it out. - What? 984 01:14:45,664 --> 01:14:47,747 I'll do what I can. 985 01:14:47,748 --> 01:14:50,788 How much longer will she ruin our lives? 986 01:14:50,789 --> 01:14:52,455 I love you. 987 01:14:52,456 --> 01:14:57,456 I love you too. 988 01:15:03,123 --> 01:15:04,205 OK? 989 01:15:04,206 --> 01:15:09,206 Yeah, great. 990 01:15:13,081 --> 01:15:15,663 We have checked. You are French. 991 01:15:15,664 --> 01:15:17,288 Can you take these off? 992 01:15:17,289 --> 01:15:22,289 And get a car for us? 993 01:15:23,831 --> 01:15:27,455 This way. 994 01:15:27,456 --> 01:15:29,913 That's you, isn't it? 995 01:15:29,914 --> 01:15:32,038 It looks like us, but... 996 01:15:32,039 --> 01:15:35,955 No, it's not us. 997 01:15:35,956 --> 01:15:40,163 Car crash in Austria... 998 01:15:40,164 --> 01:15:43,205 Theft of a van and a plane... 999 01:15:43,206 --> 01:15:48,206 Evading arrest... 1000 01:15:48,706 --> 01:15:53,580 And killing of a protected species in Albania. 1001 01:15:53,581 --> 01:15:55,497 All that in three days. 1002 01:15:55,498 --> 01:15:57,288 Congratulations! 1003 01:15:57,289 --> 01:16:02,289 All we want is to go to our daughter's wedding. 1004 01:16:07,248 --> 01:16:12,248 That will be tricky. 1005 01:16:13,998 --> 01:16:16,372 Go on, cry! 1006 01:16:16,373 --> 01:16:21,373 Nice dog. Jack Russell crossed with terrier? 1007 01:16:21,748 --> 01:16:22,413 Thank you. 1008 01:16:22,414 --> 01:16:23,955 But he's been vomiting? 1009 01:16:23,956 --> 01:16:25,663 Sorry? 1010 01:16:25,664 --> 01:16:27,538 This isn't the moment. 1011 01:16:27,539 --> 01:16:30,705 Ask him. 1012 01:16:30,706 --> 01:16:35,706 He won't eat, drink, go walkies? He's losing weight? 1013 01:16:36,164 --> 01:16:36,788 Yes. 1014 01:16:36,789 --> 01:16:39,997 Tell him I'm a vet. His dog has Addison's disease. 1015 01:16:39,998 --> 01:16:43,455 Adrenal insufficiency. 1016 01:16:43,456 --> 01:16:46,705 He could die. 1017 01:16:46,706 --> 01:16:48,830 Can you save him? 1018 01:16:48,831 --> 01:16:53,831 It'll be tricky. 1019 01:18:16,039 --> 01:18:17,538 Thank you. 1020 01:18:17,539 --> 01:18:22,539 Go on. 1021 01:18:37,623 --> 01:18:40,913 - What's wrong? - I'll explain later. 1022 01:18:40,914 --> 01:18:42,830 I'm glad you're still alive. 1023 01:18:42,831 --> 01:18:44,705 No, it was fine. 1024 01:18:44,706 --> 01:18:46,663 Really fine. 1025 01:18:46,664 --> 01:18:49,288 You can't stay in those clothes. 1026 01:18:49,289 --> 01:18:54,289 I'll get changed after. 1027 01:19:31,456 --> 01:19:33,330 A hard time getting here? 1028 01:19:33,331 --> 01:19:36,622 Your mother and I are made of stern stuff. 1029 01:19:36,623 --> 01:19:38,080 What? 1030 01:19:38,081 --> 01:19:40,830 "Your mother and I." I'm not used to it. 1031 01:19:40,831 --> 01:19:43,413 Nor me. 1032 01:19:43,414 --> 01:19:46,622 In fact, I've never told you this but... 1033 01:19:46,623 --> 01:19:48,997 your mother and I 1034 01:19:48,998 --> 01:19:51,205 were very much in love when we had you. 1035 01:19:51,206 --> 01:19:54,038 It was brief but intense. 1036 01:19:54,039 --> 01:19:57,622 So don't be like us. Make the most of life. 1037 01:19:57,623 --> 01:20:02,623 Your Stavros seems like a nice guy. 1038 01:20:03,623 --> 01:20:04,830 What? 1039 01:20:04,831 --> 01:20:07,830 No, nothing. 1040 01:20:07,831 --> 01:20:10,163 I'll be here if you get divorced. 1041 01:20:10,164 --> 01:20:10,913 Dad! 1042 01:20:10,914 --> 01:20:12,913 - What? - It's my wedding! 1043 01:20:12,914 --> 01:20:16,913 Well, yes, you hardly know him. ls there a marriage contract? 1044 01:20:16,914 --> 01:20:18,080 Dad, stop it! 1045 01:20:18,081 --> 01:20:22,163 Yes, sorry, you're right. You make a lovely couple. 1046 01:20:22,164 --> 01:20:24,413 And it'll last a lifetime. 1047 01:20:24,414 --> 01:20:29,414 A lifetime. 1048 01:20:35,623 --> 01:20:40,623 They're so sweet. 1049 01:20:42,081 --> 01:20:45,705 I want to apologise for everything I've done to you. 1050 01:20:45,706 --> 01:20:47,997 The night-time phone calls, 1051 01:20:47,998 --> 01:20:50,497 the insults, 1052 01:20:50,498 --> 01:20:53,497 the court cases... 1053 01:20:53,498 --> 01:20:55,955 The punctured tyres at the driving school. 1054 01:20:55,956 --> 01:20:57,538 Have you finished? 1055 01:20:57,539 --> 01:20:58,580 Yeah. 1056 01:20:58,581 --> 01:21:00,705 Piss off, then. 1057 01:21:00,706 --> 01:21:03,038 That's not very nice. 1058 01:21:03,039 --> 01:21:08,039 Scram. 1059 01:21:10,998 --> 01:21:15,998 Bitch! 1060 01:21:16,248 --> 01:21:18,080 I nearly forgot. 1061 01:21:18,081 --> 01:21:23,081 I slept with your fella again. Sorry. 1062 01:21:26,914 --> 01:21:28,247 You like it? 1063 01:21:28,248 --> 01:21:30,788 You look magnificent. 1064 01:21:30,789 --> 01:21:34,663 It's not the dress, but you look even more beautiful. 1065 01:21:34,664 --> 01:21:39,664 Thanks. 1066 01:21:40,456 --> 01:21:42,788 I'm so happy for you. 1067 01:21:42,789 --> 01:21:43,830 Really? 1068 01:21:43,831 --> 01:21:45,830 Yes, really. 1069 01:21:45,831 --> 01:21:49,372 You don't mind that I'm 20, getting married on an impulse? 1070 01:21:49,373 --> 01:21:50,830 No. 1071 01:21:50,831 --> 01:21:52,622 He is Greek, after all. 1072 01:21:52,623 --> 01:21:54,997 It's OK! 1073 01:21:54,998 --> 01:21:58,163 Before I forget... 1074 01:21:58,164 --> 01:21:59,788 This is your present. 1075 01:21:59,789 --> 01:22:02,163 I started it when you told me the news. 1076 01:22:02,164 --> 01:22:03,788 Watch it at your leisure. 1077 01:22:03,789 --> 01:22:06,413 There's a big fat cheque as well. 1078 01:22:06,414 --> 01:22:08,580 Excuse me. 1079 01:22:08,581 --> 01:22:10,372 Sweetheart, 1080 01:22:10,373 --> 01:22:15,373 this song is for you. 1081 01:22:19,123 --> 01:22:21,872 She wanted a child 1082 01:22:21,873 --> 01:22:25,038 But I wasn't so keen 1083 01:22:25,039 --> 01:22:29,872 Yet she made it so easy 1084 01:22:29,873 --> 01:22:32,705 With her powers of persuasion 1085 01:22:32,706 --> 01:22:35,372 To make me a father 1086 01:22:35,373 --> 01:22:38,372 C閏ile 1087 01:22:38,373 --> 01:22:42,580 My daughter 1088 01:22:42,581 --> 01:22:44,913 When her tummy swelled 1089 01:22:44,914 --> 01:22:47,955 She burst out laughing 1090 01:22:47,956 --> 01:22:52,956 And said, "Be happy 1091 01:22:52,998 --> 01:22:56,913 "It'll be a boy..." 1092 01:22:56,914 --> 01:23:01,913 And now here you are, C閏ile 1093 01:23:01,914 --> 01:23:06,914 My daughter... 1094 01:23:07,914 --> 01:23:09,622 I'm sorry. 1095 01:23:09,623 --> 01:23:14,623 Sorry. 1096 01:23:15,039 --> 01:23:20,039 Here you are, and here am I 1097 01:23:21,373 --> 01:23:26,373 I am thirty, and you're six months old 1098 01:23:26,706 --> 01:23:31,706 Nose to nose, looking into each other's eyes 1099 01:23:31,956 --> 01:23:36,956 Which of the two of us is the most amazed? 1100 01:23:37,206 --> 01:23:39,663 Long before I had you 1101 01:23:39,664 --> 01:23:42,705 I'd had my share of girls 1102 01:23:42,706 --> 01:23:47,580 Tossing the coin of my heart 1103 01:23:47,581 --> 01:23:50,372 A brunette won here 1104 01:23:50,373 --> 01:23:53,163 A blonde lost there 1105 01:23:53,164 --> 01:23:55,997 C閏ile 1106 01:23:55,998 --> 01:24:00,247 My daughter 1107 01:24:00,248 --> 01:24:05,248 May you always be loved as I'm loving you now 1108 01:24:05,456 --> 01:24:10,372 My breath on your lashes 1109 01:24:10,373 --> 01:24:13,247 My kiss on your mouth 1110 01:24:13,248 --> 01:24:16,413 In your innocent sleep 1111 01:24:16,414 --> 01:24:20,622 C閏ile 1112 01:24:20,623 --> 01:24:25,623 My daughter. 1113 01:24:55,831 --> 01:24:57,122 Val. 1114 01:24:57,123 --> 01:24:59,913 - Our friends are waiting. - Oh, yes. 1115 01:24:59,914 --> 01:25:00,955 The police? 1116 01:25:00,956 --> 01:25:03,580 Just a couple of things to sort out. 1117 01:25:03,581 --> 01:25:06,705 - We had to hurry... - What the hell is this? 1118 01:25:06,706 --> 01:25:09,455 We may have to stay in Greece for a while. 1119 01:25:09,456 --> 01:25:11,413 - You can't be serious. - I am. 1120 01:25:11,414 --> 01:25:15,372 I'd better go. 1121 01:25:15,373 --> 01:25:18,247 Val閞ie! 1122 01:25:18,248 --> 01:25:19,288 See you. 1123 01:25:19,289 --> 01:25:21,080 Val閞ie! 1124 01:25:21,081 --> 01:25:23,497 What did you tell Sylvie? 1125 01:25:23,498 --> 01:25:24,788 What do you mean? 1126 01:25:24,789 --> 01:25:27,580 Did you tell her about our night in Slovenia? 1127 01:25:27,581 --> 01:25:28,455 No. 1128 01:25:28,456 --> 01:25:30,330 - Yes, you did. - No way! 1129 01:25:30,331 --> 01:25:31,330 Did you? 1130 01:25:31,331 --> 01:25:33,205 - No, I didn't. - Are you sure? 1131 01:25:33,206 --> 01:25:36,913 - What do you take me for? - For what you are! 1132 01:25:36,914 --> 01:25:40,913 Did you tell her we slept together? 1133 01:25:40,914 --> 01:25:45,914 You did! 1134 01:25:53,289 --> 01:25:57,538 Mummy's diary, episode 27...No, 28. 1135 01:25:57,539 --> 01:26:00,913 15th April, at...11:42. 1136 01:26:00,914 --> 01:26:03,705 Well, I'm on the plane, coming to Greece. 1137 01:26:03,706 --> 01:26:07,330 I remember holding you in my arms, the day you were born, 1138 01:26:07,331 --> 01:26:12,331 and now you're getting married. 1139 01:26:12,831 --> 01:26:17,831 No, I'm not going to cry... 1140 01:26:21,123 --> 01:26:26,123 The owl! The strangled owl!