1 00:00:01,035 --> 00:00:03,535 [music] 2 00:00:03,571 --> 00:00:05,604 So let, let me get this straight. 3 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:09,241 So you're saying that the Lord put me on your heart 4 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,677 to help me with my campaign? 5 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:12,978 Ha ha! 6 00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:15,347 Honey, yes, I accept! 7 00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,182 I'm not turnin' down no blessing! 8 00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:19,485 [laughs] Thank you so much! 9 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,387 I look forward to it! Bye bye! 10 00:00:21,422 --> 00:00:22,921 Oh my goodness! 11 00:00:22,957 --> 00:00:24,623 Ooh, let's see! 12 00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:26,291 Hm...yeah... 13 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,993 All right! 14 00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:29,695 Oh! 15 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,230 I got some moves! 16 00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:32,931 What's up with this unspeakable joy? 17 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:34,299 And these unspeakable dance moves, girl? 18 00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,300 Oh, my God! 19 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:36,802 -Look, I'm so excited. -What? 20 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:40,305 That was Donna LaRue, my new bestie. 21 00:00:40,341 --> 00:00:41,607 -[Leha] Okay. -She's new in town, 22 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,042 -and she's new to the church. -Okay. 23 00:00:43,077 --> 00:00:44,643 She gonna help me with my campaign. 24 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,311 She wanna help me be president 25 00:00:46,347 --> 00:00:48,347 of the church's board of directors. 26 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:50,449 Ha ha! 27 00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,750 -Girl! -[excited cheering] 28 00:00:51,786 --> 00:00:53,285 Only one person could make me lose control 29 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,853 -of my body like that. -Who? 30 00:00:54,889 --> 00:00:56,355 Willie Jenkins. 31 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,157 -[Cora laughing] -He taught a dance class 32 00:00:58,192 --> 00:01:00,859 in the back of a chicken joint in the '70s. 33 00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:04,396 Had me limber like a chicken wing with mild sauce. 34 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:06,265 [laughter] 35 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:08,467 Oh my goodness! 36 00:01:08,502 --> 00:01:09,835 Okay, hold on, now. 37 00:01:09,870 --> 00:01:12,971 Is this Donna LaRue of the LaRue Cookie chain? 38 00:01:13,007 --> 00:01:15,374 Oh my goodness, the one who makes those, 39 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:19,711 ooh, uh, uh, uh, shortbread butter pecan cream cheese-- 40 00:01:19,747 --> 00:01:23,849 oh my goodness--apple fritter pound cake cookies? 41 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,317 Yes, that's her, that's her. 42 00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,485 I think I just gained 10 pounds. 43 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,453 [women laughing] 44 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:28,787 It did not stop at ten. 45 00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:31,323 That's my new bestie. That is my new bestie. 46 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:34,927 But the thing is, is I love that she's a successful woman 47 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:37,396 and she's willing to elevate another woman. 48 00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:38,497 Isn't that nice? 49 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:41,467 Doesn't hurt that she's rich too. 50 00:01:41,502 --> 00:01:44,169 Well, I'm not checking into her riches or nothing, you know? 51 00:01:44,205 --> 00:01:45,704 Oh, let me check for you, dear. 52 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,873 I'll look her up on, uh, Old, Young, 53 00:01:47,908 --> 00:01:50,209 Gifted, Black and Rich website. 54 00:01:50,244 --> 00:01:51,443 You know what? 55 00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:53,345 It's not even about the money, Ms. Anastasia. 56 00:01:53,380 --> 00:01:57,216 It's about us as Black women just elevating each other 57 00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,952 and lifting each other up and encouraging each other. 58 00:01:59,987 --> 00:02:01,120 That's what it's all about! 59 00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,688 You are so right, Cora. So right. 60 00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:06,692 Now, come on, now, Ms. Future Madam President! 61 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:07,759 [laughter] 62 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:08,927 Ooh, wait! Now, hold on. 63 00:02:08,963 --> 00:02:10,229 Other than giving us some free cookies, 64 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,763 now what's your first order of business? 65 00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:15,868 My first order of business for my upcoming campaign event 66 00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:21,039 is to take down that opponent of mine, that Lyin' Louise. 67 00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:23,709 Okay, well, so much for lifting each other up. 68 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,277 Now I'm intrigued. 69 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,246 Why is she called Lying Louise? 70 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:31,216 'Cause her name is Louise and she's always lying. 71 00:02:31,252 --> 00:02:32,384 Wait a minute, now. 72 00:02:32,419 --> 00:02:34,720 Is that the one who brought those Mattie pies 73 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:35,787 to the church bake sale 74 00:02:35,823 --> 00:02:37,289 and tried to pass them off as her own? 75 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,457 -Mm-hmm. -Oh! 76 00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,459 Yep, yes, it is. That, that is her. 77 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,728 How she gonna do Miss Mattie Mabel like that 78 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,296 and her Mattie pies? 79 00:02:44,331 --> 00:02:46,098 Isn't that sad? That's terrible! 80 00:02:46,133 --> 00:02:47,666 You know what? Ladies, hold on. 81 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,834 Speaking of sweets, 82 00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,102 we need to, uh, do something nice, 83 00:02:50,137 --> 00:02:51,737 like a fruit basket or something 84 00:02:51,772 --> 00:02:54,773 for the assisted facility across the street. 85 00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,542 They've been having some break-ins. 86 00:02:56,577 --> 00:02:59,144 Yes, I heard about that, and that is terrible. 87 00:02:59,180 --> 00:03:02,481 That explains why Mr. Brown bought the case of pepper spray 88 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,483 and a box of tasers and signed us all up 89 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,984 for self-defense classes. 90 00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:08,687 Mm-hmm, 'cause that Louise is gonna need some self-defense. 91 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:10,255 Uh oh! 92 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:12,257 After I bring her this beatdown from this campaign! 93 00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:15,527 [cheering] 94 00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:16,662 Yeaa, boo! [indistinct]. I'm like, come on, baby! 95 00:03:16,697 --> 00:03:18,597 I've got it! I've got it! 96 00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,333 [theme music] 97 00:03:21,368 --> 00:03:23,635 ♪ No matter what you do, I love you ♪ 98 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:27,372 ♪ No matter where you go, I'm behind you for sure ♪ 99 00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:30,275 ♪ Always remember, blood ain't never water ♪ 100 00:03:30,311 --> 00:03:33,078 ♪ We'll make it if we stay together ♪ 101 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:37,349 [music] Oh, there you go. 102 00:03:37,384 --> 00:03:39,051 Cora, did anybody call you from the Senior Men's Choir yet? 103 00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,385 No, why would they be calling me? 104 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:43,121 Uh, as the new president of the board, 105 00:03:43,157 --> 00:03:45,457 we're gonna need you to, uh, authorize the funds 106 00:03:45,492 --> 00:03:46,692 for us to do our new mixtape. 107 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:48,927 -Don't start that, Mr. Brown. -What? 108 00:03:48,963 --> 00:03:50,796 Cora, we need to lay down some new tracks. 109 00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,764 Ever since we let Brother Jameson go, 110 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:54,800 we gotta lay down a new mixtape 'cause 111 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,768 his oversized dentures used to be whistling 112 00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:57,769 on all the other tracks. 113 00:03:57,805 --> 00:03:59,238 He would sing-- 114 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:01,707 ♪ Ama-[whistle]-zing [whistle] grace ♪ 115 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,276 ♪ How [whistle] sweet the sound ♪ 116 00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:05,577 -[Cora] Mr. Brown! -Messed up all the tracks. 117 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:06,979 That is terrible! Don't do that. 118 00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:09,248 And don't have nobody else calling me, Mr. Brown! 119 00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,083 That's not proper protocol. 120 00:04:11,118 --> 00:04:12,951 I haven't even won the election yet! 121 00:04:12,987 --> 00:04:14,453 Oh, Cora, you know you're gonna win. 122 00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:16,722 And I know everybody, everybody know you gonna win. 123 00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:18,590 You gonna win that by a mudslide. 124 00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:20,592 I think you mean landslide. 125 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:22,794 -Regardless... -Yes, whatever. 126 00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:25,130 What needs to be protected is the democratic process 127 00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,832 must have her way and be protected 128 00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:28,900 from voter suppression and subversion 129 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:31,570 by unscrupulous constituents... 130 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,005 -Mm. -Who you callin' consti-- 131 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:35,407 You lookin' at me, callin' me a "constitch"? 132 00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:38,410 -Cora, I ain't no constitch. -Mr. Brown, don't do that. 133 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:41,079 No, Mr. Reginald. You know, the thing is, 134 00:04:41,115 --> 00:04:43,048 -if I win this election, -Hmm. 135 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,182 I wanna make a difference-- 136 00:04:44,218 --> 00:04:46,785 to my community, to my church. 137 00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:49,755 You know, you've been in a powerful position before. 138 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,590 Can you just give me some pointers? 139 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:53,659 -Give me some tips? -[sighs] 140 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:56,295 Much of the success of an office 141 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:59,665 rests on the character of the person who holds it. 142 00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:04,803 Now, you just choose to do the best for all involved, 143 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,105 -and you'll do fine. -Thank you, Mr. Reginald. 144 00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:09,107 That was sweet. That was nice. 145 00:05:09,143 --> 00:05:10,976 That's why you was in a powerful position. 146 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:13,011 -[laughing] -[phone chiming] 147 00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,680 -[Mr. Brown] Uh, Cora? -What? 148 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:15,981 Your phone is blowing up over here. 149 00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:17,182 What, it is? 150 00:05:17,217 --> 00:05:18,884 You don't got a new man or something? 151 00:05:18,919 --> 00:05:20,319 No, Mr. Brown! I don't have no new man. 152 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,054 My phone blowing up now. 153 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,390 What is everybody talking about? 154 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,359 What?1 I missed my campaign event? 155 00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,995 Mr. Brown, look, my campaign thing 156 00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:31,697 is not for another two days. 157 00:05:31,732 --> 00:05:33,231 See, see? Look at this invitation. 158 00:05:33,267 --> 00:05:35,167 It say, "The Women of Distinction Brunch 159 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:36,768 with Cora Simmons..." 160 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,303 [Both] Is today!? 161 00:05:38,339 --> 00:05:40,505 Oh! What? What are they talking about? 162 00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:41,873 Cora, you missed your event! 163 00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,375 -No I-- -You a liar, you gotta-- 164 00:05:43,410 --> 00:05:44,843 -Come on, Cora, fix your hair! -Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 165 00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:45,977 Do your makeup! 166 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,145 No, matter of fact, don't do your makeup. 167 00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,513 I'll do it. Come on, Cora! 168 00:05:48,549 --> 00:05:49,648 No, we gotta go, go-- 169 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:52,484 Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing? 170 00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:53,819 You get the door, I'll drive! 171 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,053 -[everyone shouting] -What is going on? 172 00:05:55,089 --> 00:05:56,788 -Oh my god! -What's going on? 173 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,689 [chuckles] It's alright, sit down. 174 00:05:57,725 --> 00:05:59,591 Cora missed the event! 175 00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,360 She not gonna be president. 176 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:05,330 No, my campaign thing-- they said--the people that-- 177 00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,333 the invitation said that they went to the... 178 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,901 They went to the event, and they, 179 00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,937 they realized that there wasn't an event, 180 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,373 and everybody came and left, Mr. Brown! 181 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,341 Maybe they'll "impeachech" you. 182 00:06:18,345 --> 00:06:19,911 How could somebody do this? 183 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:21,947 No. Now, that date just 184 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:24,116 couldn't just magically change on its own. 185 00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,453 Okay, all right, I really appreciate it. 186 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:31,056 Thank you, just, just let me know what happens. 187 00:06:31,091 --> 00:06:32,357 Bye bye. 188 00:06:32,393 --> 00:06:33,925 What did she say? 189 00:06:33,961 --> 00:06:36,294 She said she gonna try to figure out what's happening, 190 00:06:36,330 --> 00:06:37,729 and then she asked me if I-- 191 00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:39,765 if she could go to the mayor's reception with me. 192 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,433 She wanna be my plus one. 193 00:06:41,468 --> 00:06:42,601 -Mm... -Yeah. 194 00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:44,536 -Cora... -She wanna do damage control. 195 00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:46,371 Now, something about this don't seem right. 196 00:06:46,407 --> 00:06:47,873 I, I don't have a good feeling. 197 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,207 Girl, you, you right. 198 00:06:49,243 --> 00:06:50,876 It does sound a little strange. 199 00:06:50,911 --> 00:06:52,144 But you know, that Louise, you know, 200 00:06:52,179 --> 00:06:54,446 -her event was this week also. -Hmm... 201 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,882 And I heard she didn't have that many RSVPs. 202 00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:57,783 Hmm... 203 00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:59,785 So she may have sabotaged my date 204 00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:01,119 just so she could bring hers up! 205 00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,088 [grunts] 206 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:04,423 Lyin' Louise. 207 00:07:04,458 --> 00:07:10,495 [music] 208 00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,667 Clear! 209 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,339 Clear! 210 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,080 Clear! 211 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,451 Oh, someone spotted! 212 00:07:37,391 --> 00:07:38,924 [screaming] 213 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,659 Oh my gosh! 214 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,361 Boy, what you trying to do? Give me a heart attack? 215 00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:45,297 Trying to make me wear Depends? 216 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,865 How'd you get up so fast. 217 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:48,800 'Cause I'm fast like that. 218 00:07:48,836 --> 00:07:50,168 [shouting] 219 00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,337 Girl, you almost got sprayed in the face. 220 00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,306 Now, that's not usually the reaction I get 221 00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:57,209 when I enter a room. Why are you two so jumpy? 222 00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,777 -You ain't hear? -[Anastasia] No. 223 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,178 There was another break-in 224 00:08:00,214 --> 00:08:01,680 at the assisted living facility across the street. 225 00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,148 Yeah, and this old lady 226 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:05,383 that used to be a gangster rapper back in the day? 227 00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:07,452 They ripped her gold-plated dentures 228 00:08:07,488 --> 00:08:09,120 right out of her mouth! 229 00:08:10,390 --> 00:08:12,290 Yeah, and this guy get pistol whipped 230 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,159 in a motorized scooter jacking. 231 00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,695 Yeah, I just spoke to the facility manager 232 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,530 across the street. Now, none of that happened, 233 00:08:18,565 --> 00:08:21,199 but the thieves are still at large. 234 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:23,802 It's enough we have to deal with--sagging skin, 235 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:27,639 cellulite, and dying before the next episode of... 236 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,341 Oh, that reminds me. 237 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:30,575 You're right, 238 00:08:30,611 --> 00:08:32,244 we shouldn't have to worry about crime sprees 239 00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,647 and people sticking us up for our papers. 240 00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:36,882 What do you mean, sticking up for-- 241 00:08:36,917 --> 00:08:38,083 [screaming] 242 00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,417 Man, I thought you had my back. 243 00:08:39,453 --> 00:08:41,186 Well, he too dark. He just popped up! 244 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,688 What are you guys talking about papers and sticking up? 245 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,357 What does that even mean? 246 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,425 It means hide your valuables, hide your cash. 247 00:08:47,461 --> 00:08:48,860 Hide your drip, hide your ice. 248 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,629 Hide your mama, hide all of your stuff! 249 00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:51,997 You're talking about the misfortune 250 00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,099 that happened to the other facility, huh? 251 00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,233 My prayers are with them. 252 00:08:55,269 --> 00:08:56,434 But, but, but! 253 00:08:56,470 --> 00:08:58,570 There's an African proverb that says, 254 00:08:58,605 --> 00:09:01,139 "One who causes another person's misfortune 255 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,408 "also teaches them wisdom, 256 00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:06,211 "because in all things, even the bad, 257 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,513 there's always something to be learned." 258 00:09:10,817 --> 00:09:13,184 I know he said something profanity, but he... 259 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:14,319 I don't get it. 260 00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,121 -African proverb... -Yeah, yeah. 261 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:18,523 -It was real profound. -Yeah, yeah, yeah... 262 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:20,392 The two of you are very useless. 263 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:25,230 You did a good job installing 264 00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,432 the surveillance camera system, man. 265 00:09:27,467 --> 00:09:29,267 You really know what you're doing, huh? 266 00:09:29,303 --> 00:09:30,635 I couldn't even see the wires. 267 00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:31,803 It's, uh... 268 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,104 It's a wireless system, Dad. 269 00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,674 -I knew that. Shut up. -Right. 270 00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,875 Well, ain't nothing getting past that baby. 271 00:09:36,910 --> 00:09:39,210 I mean, it's got sirens, night vision, 272 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,446 uh, facial recognition, and dual audio. 273 00:09:41,481 --> 00:09:44,115 Nice. Well, let's give it a test run. 274 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:46,785 All right, but just, just be smooth. 275 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,119 What you mean, be smooth? I'm always smooth. 276 00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:49,821 Get out of here. 277 00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:51,389 I mean, we know how you get around electronics 278 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,758 and just things that light up in general. 279 00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:57,128 Just think back to decades and decades and decades ago 280 00:09:57,164 --> 00:09:58,830 when you were young, right? 281 00:09:58,865 --> 00:10:01,099 And you saw a nice-lookin' lady for the first time. 282 00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,068 Hey, man, you wanna get me in trouble? 283 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,970 No, before Mom, right? 284 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:06,805 You used to be cool, right? 285 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,139 Less thirsty? 286 00:10:08,175 --> 00:10:09,674 Well, do that now. 287 00:10:10,544 --> 00:10:12,777 Hey...cutie. 288 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:14,479 [giggles] 289 00:10:14,514 --> 00:10:16,114 Nice shoes on. 290 00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,315 Like it here? 291 00:10:17,351 --> 00:10:18,283 Don't be a creep. 292 00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:19,517 Just sign in. 293 00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:21,252 And whatever you do, don't hit the red-- 294 00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:24,122 [alarm blaring] 295 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,657 Oh! 296 00:10:25,692 --> 00:10:27,158 -What did I do? -You hit the red button-- 297 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,860 the button I told you not to hit. 298 00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,428 Man, you should've said it faster! 299 00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,767 Okay, how can we protect ourself 300 00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,903 when the security system is making us blinder and deafer? 301 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:42,440 I found this on the front yard while I was taking my walk. 302 00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:45,677 Somebody's been posting them all over town. 303 00:10:45,712 --> 00:10:48,346 I'm sorry, Cora. 304 00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:49,514 No. 305 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,650 They didn't even spell her name right! 306 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:52,984 What it say? What it say? 307 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,986 "Cora Brown"-- that ain't her name! 308 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,655 Why would somebody wanna do that? 309 00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,323 Why would somebody wanna do that!? 310 00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,491 [music] 311 00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,626 -Man. -çLeah sighs] 312 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:03,995 [music] 313 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:06,064 Before our self-defense class begins, 314 00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,366 I just wanted to check in with everybody 315 00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,669 after the crazy week we've had... 316 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,103 [grunts] 317 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,039 Does Cora's campaign opponent still claim 318 00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,407 she has nothing to do with the signs 319 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,076 or involvement in the event sabotage? 320 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:20,245 Yeah, that's her story. She's sticking to it. 321 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:21,913 But Philip and I, we drove around town 322 00:11:21,948 --> 00:11:23,715 and grabbed as many signs as we could. 323 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:26,184 Yeah, and I started a hashtag, #SingingDivaForPresident, 324 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,186 on my Ding Dong account. 325 00:11:28,221 --> 00:11:31,556 Bravo, but I have an Epsom salt bath waiting. 326 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:33,658 Where's the instructor? 327 00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,229 Come forward! 328 00:11:38,265 --> 00:11:39,698 I'm your instructor for today. 329 00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:40,765 [everybody groans] 330 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:43,068 "Ohhh" what? 331 00:11:43,103 --> 00:11:44,302 Somebody wanna be whooped early? 332 00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:47,205 I didn't say anything. 333 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,406 Hey, everybody. 334 00:11:48,442 --> 00:11:49,641 [Group] Hey, Cora. 335 00:11:49,676 --> 00:11:51,109 I just wanna [coughs] thank everybody 336 00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:53,578 for all your love and support, 337 00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:56,481 well, on everything, and... 338 00:11:56,516 --> 00:11:58,717 But, you know, I'm, I'm fine. 339 00:11:58,752 --> 00:12:02,787 And, uh, I'll be--I'll be fine. 340 00:12:02,823 --> 00:12:06,324 Really, I'm...I'm really fine. 341 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,759 That's a lot of "I'm fines." 342 00:12:07,794 --> 00:12:09,160 It's like one more "I'm fine" 343 00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,396 before she lays hands on somebody. 344 00:12:11,431 --> 00:12:14,132 Good to see you in better spirits, Cora. 345 00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:16,801 Oh, thank, thank you so much, Mister, Mr. Reginald. 346 00:12:16,837 --> 00:12:18,303 Oh... 347 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:20,105 I didn't wanna miss the self-defense class. 348 00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,740 [coughs] 349 00:12:21,775 --> 00:12:23,241 So! 350 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,944 I will be your instructor for today 351 00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:29,114 to teach you self-destruction! 352 00:12:29,149 --> 00:12:34,753 So if you and you want to learn my technique, come follow me. 353 00:12:36,490 --> 00:12:37,455 Okay. 354 00:12:37,491 --> 00:12:40,325 You are here today 355 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,860 because you 356 00:12:41,895 --> 00:12:43,461 can't defend yourself. 357 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,464 I'm going to teach you techniques 358 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,567 taught to me by Grand Master Kung Fu Brotha! 359 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:54,372 I will teach you techniques 360 00:12:54,407 --> 00:12:57,175 that if someone went up to you and say, 361 00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,444 "Give me your Social Security check!" 362 00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:03,782 you will be able to defend yourself today. 363 00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:06,117 Now, watch and learn. 364 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:11,623 Someone steps to you, you--first thing is you must stomp! 365 00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:13,224 Stomp! 366 00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,127 The next thing, slap the taste out of their mouth! 367 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:17,495 -[all grunting] -Slap it! 368 00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:19,697 -[all grunting] -Now choke it! 369 00:13:19,733 --> 00:13:21,232 -[all grunting] -Now put it together! 370 00:13:21,268 --> 00:13:22,300 Stomp! 371 00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:23,234 Slap! 372 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:24,536 Choke! 373 00:13:24,571 --> 00:13:26,671 Stomp, slap, choke! 374 00:13:26,706 --> 00:13:28,072 Now we must put a twist on it. 375 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,341 -When you choke, grind it! -Oh! 376 00:13:30,377 --> 00:13:32,310 Stomp, slap, choke! 377 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:34,679 Stomp, slap, choke! 378 00:13:34,714 --> 00:13:38,082 Now, I want to show you how to grind on the groin! 379 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,951 Grind the groin! 380 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:43,855 You must first go to the left. 381 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,323 Go to the left. 382 00:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,192 Now knee to groin. 383 00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:48,927 Now go to the right. 384 00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:50,395 Go to the right. 385 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,462 Now knee to groin! 386 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,864 Knee it! Knee it! 387 00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,200 Go nuts! Go nuts! Go nuts! 388 00:13:55,235 --> 00:13:56,501 [shouting] 389 00:13:56,536 --> 00:14:00,805 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 390 00:14:00,841 --> 00:14:02,106 Wait. 391 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:04,242 Cora, you gettin' carried away. 392 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,844 -You mad at something? -Mm-hmm. 393 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:09,747 Stomp, slap, choke. 394 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,852 Stomp, stomp, stomp, choke! 395 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,187 Okay, okay, champ. 396 00:14:16,223 --> 00:14:18,623 Hey, you might wanna channel some of that energy 397 00:14:18,658 --> 00:14:22,427 into giving Lying Louise a dose of her own medicine. 398 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,062 You know, I got some dudes from the low end 399 00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:26,264 that could come up here, go to her event, 400 00:14:26,299 --> 00:14:27,732 turn that mother out! 401 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,068 Hard pass. 402 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:32,103 Hard pass, y'all. 403 00:14:32,138 --> 00:14:34,739 'Cause right now, I don't know what to do. 404 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:38,343 Just gonna have to let the Lord just guide me. 405 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:42,413 Yes, when they go low, you don't go lower. 406 00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:43,848 The best revenge is to keep 407 00:14:43,884 --> 00:14:46,417 your self-respect and dignity, huh? 408 00:14:46,453 --> 00:14:47,785 Because you know in all-- 409 00:14:47,821 --> 00:14:51,923 All things, yes, in all things, even bad, 410 00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:54,325 -there's a lesson to learn. -Exactly. 411 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:57,295 That sounds good right now. That sounds real good. 412 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,597 You always got to use these Africanisms? 413 00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:01,165 My friend, don't hate, huh? 414 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,134 Come, I'll teach you some Africanism. 415 00:15:03,169 --> 00:15:04,202 I'll make you African. 416 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:05,303 [laughs] 417 00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:07,572 I don't want to learn. 418 00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,141 Ooh, Leah, this... 419 00:15:10,176 --> 00:15:11,509 This is hard. This is hard. 420 00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:12,677 I know, Cora. 421 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,279 -[phone ringing] -[Cora sighs] 422 00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:15,446 I'm so sorry. 423 00:15:19,119 --> 00:15:20,251 Hello? 424 00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:23,054 Yes. 425 00:15:24,057 --> 00:15:26,524 Yeah, I understand. 426 00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,626 I don't...I do. 427 00:15:28,662 --> 00:15:30,728 But I don't think that's what's best. 428 00:15:33,667 --> 00:15:34,966 I tell you what. 429 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:38,469 I'll let you know what I decide, okay? 430 00:15:38,505 --> 00:15:40,772 All right, I'll call you back. 431 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,006 Thanks, bye. 432 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,877 Let me guess, your campaign manager? 433 00:15:45,912 --> 00:15:47,512 Yup. 434 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:52,850 She thinks I should just...bow out gracefully. 435 00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:55,453 What? 436 00:15:55,488 --> 00:15:57,188 Maybe she's right. 437 00:15:57,891 --> 00:16:02,827 [music] 438 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:04,595 Mm-hmm... 439 00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,332 Okay, what else do we know? 440 00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:10,001 Lying Louise drives a Mercedes-Benz, 441 00:16:10,036 --> 00:16:12,870 wears designer clothes and shoes, 442 00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:14,906 but everything is old and ratty. 443 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:17,809 The woman hasn't been shopping since the eighties. 444 00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:21,379 One of my honeys, who works at the bank, 445 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,982 said that she saw Louise arguing with a teller 446 00:16:24,017 --> 00:16:26,584 over--about her overdraft account. 447 00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:30,154 So Lyin' Louise is having money problems. 448 00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,522 What else do we have? 449 00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:33,224 Well, when I went out to get an oil change, 450 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:35,059 I saw that old Mercedes up there, 451 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:38,062 and she had the letters "LL" engraved in the seats. 452 00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,398 "Lyin' Louise." 453 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,933 Lyin' Louise isn't her real name, 454 00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:44,902 so why would she have that engraved in her seats? 455 00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:48,439 That's just what some of the ladies at the church call her... 456 00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,374 Hm. 457 00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,611 Small homemade batches with natural ingredients 458 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:58,549 like butter, brown sugar, and vanilla. 459 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,385 I will investigate further! 460 00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:04,122 LaRue Cookies, huh? Enjoy them while you can. 461 00:17:04,157 --> 00:17:07,191 The company's going belly up--bankrupt! 462 00:17:07,227 --> 00:17:09,394 Assets frozen and seized. 463 00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:13,798 Officers and board members being investigated for fraud, 464 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,634 corruption, tax evasion, you name it. 465 00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,436 Mm! 466 00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:21,606 Someone get me Lyin' Louise's real name. 467 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:23,875 Hold up, what kind of investigation are we doing 468 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:26,611 when we don't even know the name of the person we investigating? 469 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,983 We're not investigators. We are fixers. 470 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,985 We fix things. 471 00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:37,221 We fix ourselves and we fix other people. 472 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,489 That's what we do. 473 00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,058 That's who we are... 474 00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:43,061 [music] 475 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,866 [sighs] 476 00:17:51,971 --> 00:17:54,906 Guys, guys, guess what? 477 00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:56,007 Hey... 478 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:57,141 What is it, Philip? 479 00:17:57,177 --> 00:17:58,609 Are y'all supposed to be gladiators? 480 00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:01,746 What is it, Philip? 481 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:03,147 We're in the middle of a meeting. 482 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,782 A really important meeting. 483 00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:05,950 Okay, well, hold up. 484 00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:07,452 I had a substitute teacher today. 485 00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:09,287 And guess what she brought to class as a treat. 486 00:18:09,322 --> 00:18:11,355 Donuts? 487 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,624 I guess pizza. 488 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,860 Wings of a chicken. 489 00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,295 Guys, guys, guys, stop guessing. 490 00:18:17,330 --> 00:18:19,063 It was a rhetorical question. 491 00:18:19,099 --> 00:18:21,833 She brought a box of LaRue Cookies. 492 00:18:21,868 --> 00:18:23,801 So her name was Miss Louise, 493 00:18:23,837 --> 00:18:26,304 but guess what her real name was? 494 00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:28,473 Louise LaRue. 495 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:29,974 I knew it! 496 00:18:30,009 --> 00:18:33,878 Those schemin', lyin', conniving-- 497 00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,313 Okay! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 498 00:18:35,348 --> 00:18:37,682 Okay, look, check this out. 499 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,788 Even though the surveillance system 500 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,723 went crazy the other day, 501 00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,892 cameras were still recording. 502 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,027 And guess what the front camera caught? 503 00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,930 -Oh! -Wow... 504 00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:55,666 Let me guess-- 505 00:18:55,702 --> 00:18:58,336 Donna and that Lyin' Louise LaRue. 506 00:19:00,573 --> 00:19:03,808 Yeah, they put those nasty campaign signs out. 507 00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,177 -So you knew? -Yes, I knew. 508 00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:08,546 The Lord put it on my heart to give Donna a call, you know, 509 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:11,315 and show her some compassion, and I did. 510 00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:14,452 And she just started tellin' me everything. 511 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,355 Her and her evil sister were in cahoots the whole time! 512 00:19:17,390 --> 00:19:18,723 Yeah. 513 00:19:18,758 --> 00:19:20,758 Donna figured if Louise won the election, 514 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:24,395 she could control the finances and meet the right people 515 00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,831 and get back on her feet again. 516 00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:31,869 Well, thankfully, Cora, the day has been saved and handled. 517 00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:36,207 So, does this mean you're the new president of the board? 518 00:19:36,242 --> 00:19:39,243 Well, I guess so, by default. 519 00:19:39,279 --> 00:19:42,313 No, no, no, Cora, you took the high road. 520 00:19:42,348 --> 00:19:46,617 So if God blessed you with that, it is not default. 521 00:19:46,653 --> 00:19:48,586 It is by God's design. 522 00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,254 I guess you're right, Efe. 523 00:19:50,290 --> 00:19:51,622 -[laughter] -You know what? 524 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:53,925 Hey, y'all. Let's celebrate! 525 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,426 [cheering] 526 00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,597 I've got to tell y'all somethin' that's been on-- 527 00:19:59,632 --> 00:20:01,732 Oh, you already done set up a board. 528 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,701 I'mma tell you this, Cora, 'cause I love you, 529 00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,169 and I done figured this out for you. 530 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:07,171 I done figured out who been savage-tagin' 531 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,639 and slayin' your name, Cora. 532 00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,374 -Sab-sabotaging... -Whatever! 533 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,476 Cora, look right here! You already got it up. 534 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,146 Okay, this right here is Louise Jefferson. 535 00:20:15,181 --> 00:20:18,149 Louise Jefferson is really Louise LaRue! 536 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:21,219 Jefferson was her ex-husband's last name. 537 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:23,020 He gone on to be with Dolores. 538 00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,689 -Oh, Dolores? -Dolores? 539 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,324 I don't know if he was a Christian or whatever, 540 00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:29,694 so I just say Dolores in case he was going down to... 541 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:30,962 That's right. 542 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:33,731 So she is really Donna's sister! 543 00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:34,999 -Really? -[Efe] Yeah! 544 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,001 You know what we'd call you in Africa? 545 00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:37,835 What? 546 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:40,171 JJC--Johnny Just Come. 547 00:20:40,206 --> 00:20:41,505 We've run this disease! 548 00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,007 Yes, we already know! 549 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,375 You know what we'd call you in America? 550 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:46,110 -What? -Shut up! 551 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:48,179 [arguing] 552 00:20:48,214 --> 00:20:49,347 You don't know nothin'. 553 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:53,384 [arguing] [music] 554 00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:54,719 Come here again! 555 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:59,423 [music]