1
00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:57,541
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS ARE FICTIONAL
2
00:00:57,541 --> 00:01:00,333
ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PEOPLE
OR EVENTS IS COINCIDENTAL
3
00:01:04,583 --> 00:01:06,666
Slow down! You're gonna kill us!
4
00:01:06,666 --> 00:01:08,083
Move it!
5
00:01:08,083 --> 00:01:10,375
What if HQ decides
to move me to New York?
6
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:12,208
I want to go to California!
7
00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:16,750
- You've just gotta grin and bear it.
- Los Angeles! At the office in flip-flops.
8
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,708
Straight from the beach.
9
00:01:18,708 --> 00:01:21,875
Whoa! Slow down! We still have an hour.
10
00:01:33,791 --> 00:01:35,000
KISS, KISS!
11
00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,625
You see? We're 45 minutes early.
12
00:01:36,625 --> 00:01:38,875
This will be the biggest deal
in company history.
13
00:01:38,875 --> 00:01:40,541
If you manage to close it.
14
00:01:40,541 --> 00:01:41,458
If?
15
00:01:41,458 --> 00:01:44,333
Well, the guys from Japan
still need to sign it.
16
00:01:44,333 --> 00:01:45,875
It's just a formality.
17
00:01:46,583 --> 00:01:49,125
Once they sign it,
I'll be the king of the world.
18
00:01:54,083 --> 00:01:56,166
You remember my parents
are coming this weekend?
19
00:01:56,166 --> 00:01:57,750
Well, that's perfect.
20
00:01:57,750 --> 00:02:00,875
I'll go party downtown with the boys
and stay out of your hair then.
21
00:02:00,875 --> 00:02:02,291
No, they want to meet you.
22
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,208
- What am I gonna say to them?
- What do you mean?
23
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:08,666
"It's very nice to meet you.
I'm the one banging your daughter."
24
00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:13,000
Madzia, we've got a good thing going.
The sex is great and all...
25
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:17,208
But we never promised
each other anything more.
26
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,250
Yeah.
27
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:25,000
- Yeah. That's what--
- Oh, hey, Madzia.
28
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000
- Hey.
- Hi.
29
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,625
- Welcome, welcome.
- Hi.
30
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:29,708
So, is that your big
multi-million-dollar idea?
31
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:31,791
You're really climbing the ladder,
huh, man?
32
00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:34,000
They're gonna make you
global manager in no time.
33
00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,583
- I'm not counting my chickens just yet.
- Tomek!
34
00:02:36,583 --> 00:02:40,125
When they appoint you Head of Operations,
you won't forget your friends, will you?
35
00:02:40,125 --> 00:02:41,500
Tomek!
36
00:02:41,500 --> 00:02:44,625
Chill. Everything's under control.
I forgot my phone.
37
00:02:44,625 --> 00:02:45,708
I'll be right back.
38
00:02:53,125 --> 00:02:54,750
I'm coming. I'm coming.
39
00:02:54,750 --> 00:02:57,583
I can't wait as well.
40
00:02:58,583 --> 00:03:00,875
Yeah.
41
00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:03,625
Wait, but...
42
00:03:09,583 --> 00:03:12,583
I'll call you later, okay?
43
00:03:16,791 --> 00:03:18,458
- Oh, Jesus Christ!
- Oh no, my oranges!
44
00:03:18,458 --> 00:03:20,208
- I'm terribly sorry.
- The best local ones.
45
00:03:20,208 --> 00:03:23,083
I put them in some Jell-O mix,
and it's delicious.
46
00:03:23,083 --> 00:03:25,208
- Do you ever use Jell-O?
- Of course. All the time.
47
00:03:25,208 --> 00:03:27,000
- Excuse me.
- Sure. No problem.
48
00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:34,708
What?
49
00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,916
Oh my God, Kasia, they're here.
50
00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:39,750
- The Japanese?
- Yeah.
51
00:03:40,416 --> 00:03:42,041
Over a half hour ahead of time?
52
00:03:43,166 --> 00:03:45,125
What are you doing? Find Tomek already?
53
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:46,458
I'll call him.
54
00:04:14,625 --> 00:04:15,541
Um...
55
00:04:18,625 --> 00:04:20,541
Ah!
56
00:04:22,125 --> 00:04:25,625
Ah.
57
00:04:25,625 --> 00:04:28,625
We're honored to meet you.
Thank you for the invitation.
58
00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,750
Beautiful day.
59
00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:41,333
It's just started.
60
00:04:41,333 --> 00:04:44,458
Well, I already know
it'll be beautiful.
61
00:04:45,250 --> 00:04:46,625
Hmm, are you a psychic?
62
00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:49,125
Of course. Your hand.
63
00:04:51,125 --> 00:04:52,791
Come on, I'll tell your fortune.
64
00:04:58,916 --> 00:05:00,791
This is the most important day
in your life.
65
00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,250
- And it's mine as well.
- Really?
66
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,625
Well, yeah.
It's no coincidence that we met.
67
00:05:06,625 --> 00:05:07,583
It must be destiny.
68
00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:10,791
In a few minutes
I'm signing the contract of a lifetime.
69
00:05:10,791 --> 00:05:13,875
- Congratulations.
- And I'll grant you three wishes.
70
00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:16,291
- Oh, so now I have three wishes?
- Yeah.
71
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,208
How about... disappear the way you appeared.
72
00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:22,541
No, come on!
You can't just throw away your wishes.
73
00:05:22,541 --> 00:05:23,958
In that case I'd like to...
74
00:05:23,958 --> 00:05:27,333
Wait, just let me tell you.
You should wish for a hundred more wishes.
75
00:05:27,333 --> 00:05:29,333
Mm-hmm, and you'll grant them all?
76
00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:31,208
- Yeah.
- In that case...
77
00:05:33,625 --> 00:05:36,583
- I wish you had a ticket.
- What?
78
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:42,416
And you.
79
00:05:42,416 --> 00:05:44,000
Ticket, please. Ticket.
80
00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:47,500
Um...
81
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:51,000
How about... water?
82
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:53,416
Water.
83
00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,458
Uh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll check.
84
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,791
You can keep checking. Hm.
85
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,458
It is surprising how rarely fare dodgers
excuse not having a ticket
86
00:06:06,458 --> 00:06:08,333
using the dichotomy paradox.
87
00:06:08,333 --> 00:06:11,250
Yeah, Zeno of Elea would argue
locomotion is impossible,
88
00:06:11,250 --> 00:06:13,666
ergo the bus isn't moving,
ergo what's to pay for?
89
00:06:13,666 --> 00:06:16,041
Yeah,
which brings us to the problem.
90
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,125
Do you have any ID?
91
00:06:19,666 --> 00:06:20,541
To your health.
92
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,708
{\an8}We don't like to resort to using force...
93
00:06:26,708 --> 00:06:28,916
...but would you listen to us otherwise?
94
00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,416
Gentlemen,
I have a very important meeting.
95
00:06:31,416 --> 00:06:33,500
- I have to take this.
- All right.
96
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:35,708
I'm sorry.
He fucked up and won't be there.
97
00:06:35,708 --> 00:06:37,291
- That takes care of that.
- Here you go.
98
00:06:37,291 --> 00:06:38,958
- What, are you nuts?
- How so?
99
00:06:39,541 --> 00:06:41,875
Let me go, you bastard!
100
00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:48,583
- You aren't gonna believe it.
- I won't.
101
00:06:48,583 --> 00:06:49,833
I wouldn't believe it either.
102
00:06:49,833 --> 00:06:51,541
I don't give a shit...
103
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,708
if you were abducted by aliens...
104
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:58,666
...an elderly nympho, or boy scouts.
105
00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:02,375
I only wish that you were dead.
106
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:07,833
But you wouldn't want me
to go work for the competition.
107
00:07:07,833 --> 00:07:08,958
Go ahead.
108
00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:11,958
- They're just waiting, you know.
- Go on then!
109
00:07:12,458 --> 00:07:14,291
Before I tear out your eyeballs!
110
00:07:22,416 --> 00:07:23,375
Are you getting in?
111
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:25,625
Madzia, thanks.
112
00:07:26,125 --> 00:07:26,958
Chillax.
113
00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:29,208
The sooner you move out
of my place the better.
114
00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:30,958
Uh, what about your parents?
115
00:07:32,625 --> 00:07:33,458
Hmm.
116
00:08:13,208 --> 00:08:14,750
Hi.
117
00:08:17,875 --> 00:08:20,125
- What kind of a greeting is that?
- I thought you were dead.
118
00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,416
- Your sense of humor's improved.
- We haven't spoken for ages.
119
00:08:23,916 --> 00:08:27,666
All right. Are you going to let me in
or do you want to do this in the hall?
120
00:08:31,875 --> 00:08:34,583
- Uh, did you come to say goodbye?
- Nice place you got.
121
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,500
Are you going somewhere?
122
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000
No. I just wanted to come see you.
123
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:42,291
Now look at me in the eye
and say that again.
124
00:08:43,166 --> 00:08:45,000
Listen. You won't believe what happened.
125
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:47,791
- No. I know I won't.
- But you'll be happy.
126
00:08:47,791 --> 00:08:50,166
- Yeah?
- I was fired from my job.
127
00:08:50,166 --> 00:08:53,208
I lost my apartment as well,
my car, and everything else.
128
00:08:53,208 --> 00:08:55,750
But what does that have to do
with me? Go rent a place.
129
00:08:55,750 --> 00:08:57,000
Yeah. I'm completely broke.
130
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,666
Are you serious?
But you've been making so much money!
131
00:08:59,666 --> 00:09:01,708
Do you know much it costs
to live in this city?
132
00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:03,166
Uh, yeah, I do.
133
00:09:04,541 --> 00:09:06,125
I was taking about...
134
00:09:06,708 --> 00:09:08,458
Well, this wasn't it.
135
00:09:08,458 --> 00:09:12,041
So my dirty little hovel,
it's not to your liking, huh, sir?
136
00:09:12,041 --> 00:09:14,625
Then I don't understand
what you're doing here...
137
00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,583
...since this is just,
it's just a dingy little flat.
138
00:09:17,583 --> 00:09:18,625
Get out of here.
139
00:09:18,625 --> 00:09:20,791
Will you calm down, please?
140
00:09:20,791 --> 00:09:21,750
Chill.
141
00:09:24,333 --> 00:09:26,125
Just for one night. Come on.
142
00:09:29,125 --> 00:09:30,666
The sofa.
143
00:09:35,916 --> 00:09:37,375
The sofa's just fine.
144
00:09:46,208 --> 00:09:48,166
Well? Do you wanna go out?
145
00:09:48,166 --> 00:09:50,708
I... I have a job, okay?
146
00:09:50,708 --> 00:09:53,666
- Come on, work can wait.
- Well, it didn't wait for you, did it?
147
00:09:55,833 --> 00:09:57,708
Come on, you can chill out a little.
148
00:09:57,708 --> 00:10:00,625
Let's go have some fun,
get hammered, and pick up some honeys.
149
00:10:01,666 --> 00:10:04,500
I just... sorry,
but I don't really feel the need to.
150
00:10:05,791 --> 00:10:06,625
All right.
151
00:10:07,125 --> 00:10:09,666
Could I ask you
for a little... a little favor?
152
00:10:09,666 --> 00:10:13,916
I knew it. Give someone an inch,
and they're gonna take a mile.
153
00:10:13,916 --> 00:10:15,708
It's just a small favor.
154
00:10:15,708 --> 00:10:17,708
I need you to hack into
the city's surveillance system
155
00:10:17,708 --> 00:10:19,666
for footage from outside
the office this morning.
156
00:10:19,666 --> 00:10:22,708
I met a real knock-out there today.
157
00:10:22,708 --> 00:10:26,375
I have no intention of helping you
satisfy your primal urges.
158
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:30,541
- I'm not hacking into anything.
- Sure, but she really might be the one.
159
00:10:30,541 --> 00:10:32,083
Yeah, sure she is.
160
00:10:32,083 --> 00:10:34,916
I've only heard that a thousand times.
161
00:10:34,916 --> 00:10:37,375
I'm a collector. Women are like flowers.
162
00:10:37,875 --> 00:10:40,833
They only bloom
while under my gaze and tender touch.
163
00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,041
Flowers, my friend,
164
00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:47,166
they look so much better
when they're in a big bouquet.
165
00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:50,708
But I guess you wouldn't know.
You're into cacti.
166
00:10:51,458 --> 00:10:53,666
So what do you say? Will you do it for me?
167
00:10:55,125 --> 00:10:56,791
Why don't you give it up already?
168
00:10:57,291 --> 00:10:59,500
Why don't you pull
that big stick out of your ass?
169
00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:14,708
I know, Gauss.
170
00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:18,666
We're going to get through it, all right?
He'll be leaving tomorrow.
171
00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:22,416
Hiya, Karol.
172
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,666
You know my talents.
173
00:11:27,375 --> 00:11:29,416
And I've recently become available.
174
00:11:29,416 --> 00:11:31,583
Listen, man,
after that last stunt you pulled,
175
00:11:31,583 --> 00:11:34,250
you're finished in this industry.
176
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,333
What happened anyhow?
177
00:11:35,333 --> 00:11:38,166
How'd you screw it up so bad
in the final stretch, dude?
178
00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,458
She was some piece of ass, huh?
179
00:11:42,541 --> 00:11:44,541
Didn't I warn you? I told you.
180
00:11:45,083 --> 00:11:47,625
This weakness of yours will be
your downfall. Yeah.
181
00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:57,458
Hey, you got a cigarette, man?
182
00:11:58,333 --> 00:11:59,958
- I don't smoke.
- Well...
183
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,416
I'll take five bucks, then.
184
00:12:04,541 --> 00:12:05,666
Or whatever you got.
185
00:12:07,625 --> 00:12:08,666
Here. Take it.
186
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,541
- Really?
- Cheers.
187
00:12:11,541 --> 00:12:12,500
Yeah.
188
00:12:13,833 --> 00:12:15,416
Hey. Hey, thank you, sir!
189
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,583
Ah, thank you!
190
00:12:38,458 --> 00:12:40,125
Uh, excuse me. I'm sorry.
191
00:12:43,958 --> 00:12:45,333
Uh.
192
00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:46,875
Midas?
193
00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:49,916
Dude!
It's been too long.
194
00:12:49,916 --> 00:12:51,041
Don Tomas.
195
00:12:51,041 --> 00:12:52,875
- Hey.
- How's it going?
196
00:12:52,875 --> 00:12:54,875
Ah, when it rains, it pours.
197
00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:55,791
Terrible.
198
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,750
Would you have a job for me
by any chance?
199
00:12:58,916 --> 00:13:00,583
Look, I don't shoot anymore.
200
00:13:00,583 --> 00:13:02,916
Well, not in Poland. Too crowded here.
201
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,916
- I'm moving to Hollywood.
- That's big.
202
00:13:05,625 --> 00:13:07,833
Uh, two vodkas, if you please, sir.
203
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:10,041
- Make that four.
- Or maybe eight of them?
204
00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,500
It's actually a wedding.
205
00:13:17,125 --> 00:13:20,250
You, King Midas,
stooping so low for a gig like that?
206
00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:23,916
You know, I had an accident.
I got a DUI, which means that...
207
00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:27,000
Right, Hollywood isn't gonna call now.
208
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,541
That's the thing.
209
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:29,958
- All right.
- Hmm.
210
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:33,416
Look, they offered me a deal.
If I film this wedding,
211
00:13:33,416 --> 00:13:35,541
they'll give me back my passport.
212
00:13:35,541 --> 00:13:37,416
So, what am I supposed to do?
213
00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:41,458
Listen, I will film the wedding
using a couple of cameras,
214
00:13:41,458 --> 00:13:44,166
maybe a crane,
a drone, an articulated arm.
215
00:13:44,166 --> 00:13:47,208
Tarantino style.
And you can do the making of,
216
00:13:47,208 --> 00:13:50,291
some talking heads and whatnot,
behind the scenes stuff.
217
00:13:50,291 --> 00:13:52,625
Nah, I don't know
if it's my kind of thing.
218
00:13:53,125 --> 00:13:54,333
Come on, let's do it, Tomek.
219
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:56,750
You'll make a lot of money,
meet a lot of influential people.
220
00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:59,166
So, whose wedding is it?
221
00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:01,375
Whoa-ho!
222
00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,583
Minister Kosecki. What do you know.
223
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:06,000
He's a... big deal.
224
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,166
This is the guy
who's running the whole show.
225
00:14:08,666 --> 00:14:11,291
- So he's the guy?
- Of course not. It's his son.
226
00:14:11,291 --> 00:14:15,416
- And this is the honorable Mrs. Minister.
- I've seen her somewhere before.
227
00:14:15,416 --> 00:14:18,750
She was an actress when she was younger,
but she was pretty terrible.
228
00:14:18,750 --> 00:14:20,541
She caught on quick
and married a politician.
229
00:14:21,500 --> 00:14:23,125
Here's to her health.
230
00:14:23,125 --> 00:14:26,250
Well, that's great. Thank you very much.
231
00:14:26,250 --> 00:14:27,500
Thanks.
232
00:14:57,291 --> 00:14:59,708
- Here you are.
- Thank you again.
233
00:14:59,708 --> 00:15:01,500
- Good luck.
- Thanks a lot.
234
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:17,875
Good morning.
235
00:15:18,625 --> 00:15:19,833
Oh, good morning.
236
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:23,291
I've got the plant
that you ordered.
237
00:15:23,291 --> 00:15:24,208
From Bolivia.
238
00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,416
Blossfildia liliputana?
239
00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:31,333
It's so... pretty, isn't it?
240
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:32,458
I know, right?
241
00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,791
And yet it's so small.
242
00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:39,458
It's going to need a lot of light
and tenderness.
243
00:15:40,250 --> 00:15:42,583
I...
I'll take care of it.
244
00:15:42,583 --> 00:15:44,583
And keep it away from drafts too.
245
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:46,666
O-- Of course. Yeah.
246
00:15:47,625 --> 00:15:50,291
Yes, and thanks for the advice. Yeah.
247
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:56,833
And how is Stefan Banach doing?
248
00:15:56,833 --> 00:15:59,666
And um, and the other one,
with its prickles like the spiral of Fi--
249
00:15:59,666 --> 00:16:02,250
- Filius Fibonacci.
- Filius Fibonacci!
250
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,791
- Perfectly! And uh...
- Yeah?
251
00:16:03,791 --> 00:16:07,875
Möbius sprouted like a lateral...
a... a lateral shoot.
252
00:16:07,875 --> 00:16:11,083
That's incredible. That means
it wants you to reproduce right now.
253
00:16:11,875 --> 00:16:13,791
- That's...
- Uh, proliferously, of course.
254
00:16:13,791 --> 00:16:15,291
I mean...
255
00:16:15,291 --> 00:16:18,166
Yes, of course.
256
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:20,541
- Oh!
- God bless you.
257
00:16:20,541 --> 00:16:22,750
- Thanks. I'm sorry.
- No.
258
00:16:22,750 --> 00:16:24,750
I can help out with that
if you would like.
259
00:16:25,458 --> 00:16:28,708
- Help out?
- Uh, with the reproduction, I mean.
260
00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:32,916
You need to grab it
by the stem firmly, and...
261
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:35,333
...tear it off.
262
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,125
Oh, tear it off.
263
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:39,208
Well, I... I...
264
00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:42,333
Uh...
265
00:16:48,666 --> 00:16:49,583
170...
266
00:16:50,291 --> 00:16:51,458
I mean 17.
267
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:53,666
No, 28.
268
00:16:55,375 --> 00:16:57,875
I don't believe it.
269
00:16:57,875 --> 00:17:00,208
I can't believe you fell in love
with a flower girl.
270
00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:01,375
What's so funny about that?
271
00:17:01,375 --> 00:17:04,291
- The fact that you're allergic to flowers.
- But I'm not allergic to cacti.
272
00:17:08,583 --> 00:17:10,000
Nah, it'll never work.
273
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,291
I know about this stuff.
274
00:17:12,041 --> 00:17:14,166
Unless I help you.
But you have to help me.
275
00:17:14,166 --> 00:17:17,583
Hacking is an actual crime, you know.
Besides, I can't tolerate parasites.
276
00:17:17,583 --> 00:17:21,083
Fine. I'll pay you rent for the right
to sleep on your broken sofa.
277
00:17:21,083 --> 00:17:24,375
- I thought you didn't have any money.
- I don't, but I have a gig.
278
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,166
And it's a gig for two.
279
00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:30,208
I don't understand why I should help you.
I don't even like you, man.
280
00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:33,291
'Cause you'll make some cash.
281
00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:36,791
And I, as your brother and your friend,
I'm gonna help you score that chick.
282
00:17:36,791 --> 00:17:39,041
- I'll show you what to do.
- Her name is Klara.
283
00:17:39,625 --> 00:17:43,208
And I don't want any advice from you,
you pathetic Casanova.
284
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:49,833
Oh!
285
00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:57,291
There. There you go. Get lost.
286
00:17:59,916 --> 00:18:00,750
All right.
287
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:06,458
Before I go, let me give you
one more piece of advice for free.
288
00:18:06,958 --> 00:18:09,958
When you make your move,
you should make it on neutral ground.
289
00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:11,708
Neutral ground?
290
00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:13,791
Outside the store.
291
00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:17,583
- No, no, I told you--
- Let's practice together!
292
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:20,208
You gotta keep asking her questions.
293
00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:23,000
- 'Cause women really love when we do that.
- About what?
294
00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,500
Anything.
295
00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,458
Okay, you be Klara, and I'll be you.
296
00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:30,833
Hello there, Klara.
297
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:33,375
What's up, girl. How you doin'?
298
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:36,958
I'm so sorry
for running out on you last time
299
00:18:36,958 --> 00:18:38,958
and forgetting to pay for the cactus.
300
00:18:43,083 --> 00:18:44,500
Oh!
301
00:18:56,541 --> 00:18:57,458
Hello.
302
00:18:59,416 --> 00:19:01,416
Hello there.
303
00:19:02,166 --> 00:19:05,041
That must've hurt.
304
00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:06,583
I... I'm all right, miss.
305
00:19:07,291 --> 00:19:09,416
I... I'm sorry that earlier...
306
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:12,041
- I... I forgot to pay you.
- No! No, it's all right. It's cool.
307
00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:15,666
Well, I just wanted to... to tell you that...
Well, I've been thinking...
308
00:19:15,666 --> 00:19:17,000
What about?
309
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,541
It's just that I wanted to...
310
00:19:18,541 --> 00:19:20,750
No, well, um...
I was actually thinking that...
311
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,166
What is it you've been thinking?
312
00:19:22,166 --> 00:19:25,833
That maybe we could together...
I mean, you and I could just go out and...
313
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:26,791
Yeah.
314
00:19:28,625 --> 00:19:29,458
If you want.
315
00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:33,291
I'm going to the bank now.
Would you want to me walk me there?
316
00:19:33,291 --> 00:19:34,833
Mm-hmm.
317
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,166
How is the new purchase doing?
318
00:19:40,166 --> 00:19:42,833
- Leibniz?
- Interesting name.
319
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:45,208
- Sure.
- Is he named after the mathematician?
320
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:46,166
Yeah.
321
00:19:46,166 --> 00:19:47,708
Uh... Um...
322
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,750
I put him next to Skłodowska.
323
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:52,583
A-- And did you know
you can graft them together?
324
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,416
Graft them together?
325
00:19:54,416 --> 00:19:55,708
N-- No. How?
326
00:19:55,708 --> 00:19:59,875
Well, you just make a hole in Skłodowska,
then stick your little Leibniz in there.
327
00:20:00,375 --> 00:20:02,791
Oh, uh, using what?
328
00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:08,416
I mean, we could do it together
in the flower shop, if you want to.
329
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:11,125
- I would love to.
- Maybe we should be less... formal.
330
00:20:11,125 --> 00:20:13,666
- My name is Klara.
- Yes, I mean, my name is Janek.
331
00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:14,583
Okay.
332
00:20:18,833 --> 00:20:20,833
It's three times.
333
00:20:22,958 --> 00:20:24,833
Uh, maybe we could go somewhere?
334
00:20:26,458 --> 00:20:28,291
- You mean out together somewhere?
- Mm-hmm.
335
00:20:29,083 --> 00:20:30,666
- Like where?
- Well...
336
00:20:32,666 --> 00:20:33,833
Everywhere.
337
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:36,375
Out for coffee or food somewhere.
338
00:20:40,833 --> 00:20:42,041
Sorry.
339
00:20:42,041 --> 00:20:45,541
- Uh, to a movie or the park or--
- That's not the best idea.
340
00:20:47,541 --> 00:20:49,458
I... I know that seems, um,
341
00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:51,916
a... a little fast,
but I... I've never really felt...
342
00:20:52,458 --> 00:20:54,208
Uh, no, it's not about you.
343
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:55,958
- It's about me. Um...
- Ah.
344
00:20:56,541 --> 00:20:59,375
- I'm just not the right girl for you.
- I... I get it. Yeah.
345
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:01,250
And I'm very sorry.
346
00:21:01,250 --> 00:21:04,291
I promise I won't be bothering you,
well, anymore.
347
00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:21,791
AMBER PALACE
348
00:21:34,875 --> 00:21:36,666
It's only a week until the wedding.
349
00:21:37,166 --> 00:21:38,916
I'm totally against any changes.
350
00:21:39,416 --> 00:21:42,333
But my brother and I
are just filming the making of.
351
00:21:42,916 --> 00:21:45,166
And the actual video
will be filmed by Midas.
352
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,875
Midas. Whatever he touches just...
I'll have words with him.
353
00:21:48,875 --> 00:21:52,000
Please don't do that. Please.
It's all my fault.
354
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,666
You need to fight for your own happiness.
355
00:21:54,666 --> 00:21:57,125
Like in the cult film,
Fight for Your Happiness.
356
00:21:58,791 --> 00:22:01,083
You've seen Fight for Your Happiness?
357
00:22:01,083 --> 00:22:04,000
- It's my favorite film.
- But that was ages ago.
358
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,041
I know all of your films by heart.
359
00:22:06,625 --> 00:22:07,625
All of them?
360
00:22:07,625 --> 00:22:08,541
Both, right?
361
00:22:08,541 --> 00:22:11,375
And your role
in Melons and Felons was just...
362
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:18,250
Polish cinema has never seen
another star with sex appeal like yours.
363
00:22:18,916 --> 00:22:20,500
You just have to act again.
364
00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,166
For all of us.
365
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:23,833
For your country who loves you.
366
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,208
And the camera,
it will love me too, right?
367
00:22:30,208 --> 00:22:31,291
Without a doubt.
368
00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:34,541
They used to say
I could work in Hollywood.
369
00:22:34,541 --> 00:22:35,625
But not anymore.
370
00:22:35,625 --> 00:22:37,416
You still look fantastic.
371
00:22:37,416 --> 00:22:38,958
You look incredible.
372
00:22:38,958 --> 00:22:40,416
You look amazing!
373
00:22:40,416 --> 00:22:43,541
Finally, someone who gets it.
374
00:22:43,541 --> 00:22:45,000
Tomasz? Was that your name?
375
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,791
- Yes.
- Call me... Patsy.
376
00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:52,458
Now, please sign this.
377
00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:54,916
And I welcome you both aboard!
378
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:56,125
Uh, what is this?
379
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:57,875
A non-disclosure agreement.
380
00:22:57,875 --> 00:23:01,000
What you're going to see here
is absolutely top secret.
381
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:03,208
If you whisper a word to anyone...
382
00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:05,583
My husband, you know who he is?
383
00:23:06,500 --> 00:23:08,041
- Hmm.
- Exactly.
384
00:23:08,583 --> 00:23:12,125
Well, when he throws someone in jail,
I'm totally sorry for them.
385
00:23:12,125 --> 00:23:13,500
All right then.
386
00:23:14,291 --> 00:23:16,666
And you? Are you mute?
Why aren't you talking?
387
00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:19,458
Nah, he's just a bit slow.
You don't have to worry about him.
388
00:23:23,458 --> 00:23:25,125
My daughter-in-law has arrived.
389
00:23:25,125 --> 00:23:27,250
I mean my future daughter-in-law, obviously.
390
00:23:27,250 --> 00:23:29,750
Oh, excuse me. Hello?
391
00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:31,583
Hello?
392
00:23:39,583 --> 00:23:40,416
Hi there.
393
00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:44,041
Uh, Ola.
394
00:23:45,416 --> 00:23:46,250
Tomek.
395
00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:49,958
Lovely name.
396
00:23:51,208 --> 00:23:53,625
I guess everything about you is lovely.
397
00:23:54,916 --> 00:23:56,958
- You're getting married?
- That's right.
398
00:23:57,791 --> 00:23:59,958
Well, my condolences.
399
00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:03,500
What's that?
400
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:08,833
What are you doing?
401
00:24:08,833 --> 00:24:10,833
Oh, well, I just saw you on that bus.
402
00:24:10,833 --> 00:24:13,708
What are the odds?
And now you're right here in front of me.
403
00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:17,041
I just wanna see what'll happens.
404
00:24:17,041 --> 00:24:18,625
Now you know.
405
00:24:20,958 --> 00:24:21,791
Okay.
406
00:24:21,916 --> 00:24:23,208
I'm very sorry.
407
00:24:24,250 --> 00:24:25,500
Can we just start over?
408
00:24:26,166 --> 00:24:28,500
- You're an idiot.
- Reprobate, miscreant, and scoundrel.
409
00:24:29,291 --> 00:24:30,791
What are you laughing at?
410
00:24:31,458 --> 00:24:33,666
This is exactly
how great love stories begin.
411
00:24:33,666 --> 00:24:35,000
Well?
412
00:24:36,916 --> 00:24:38,583
Let's start getting down to work.
413
00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:43,708
Oh, but we are.
We are getting down to work.
414
00:24:51,291 --> 00:24:52,500
Damn it.
415
00:25:03,708 --> 00:25:07,000
I'm sorry, but how long are you planning
on feeling sorry for yourself?
416
00:25:08,458 --> 00:25:09,458
Fight for her, man.
417
00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,625
Fight for happiness.
418
00:25:12,291 --> 00:25:15,208
- But she rejected me.
- Bullshit. I've seen how she looks at you.
419
00:25:15,208 --> 00:25:17,375
- How?
- The same way you look at her, man.
420
00:25:19,041 --> 00:25:23,875
No, she said herself we're just not right
for each other, and it's not a good idea.
421
00:25:23,875 --> 00:25:24,875
- Listen.
- Hmm.
422
00:25:24,875 --> 00:25:28,291
For such an intelligent guy,
you're as naive as a child.
423
00:25:29,583 --> 00:25:32,416
- It's all part of the game.
- Part of what game?
424
00:25:32,958 --> 00:25:34,166
The conquering game.
425
00:25:35,791 --> 00:25:38,958
You get to be manly.
She doesn't have to be easy. You both win.
426
00:25:38,958 --> 00:25:42,250
So the reason Ola slapped you like that
was to conquer you?
427
00:25:42,250 --> 00:25:44,500
- Hmm.
- Brilliant deduction.
428
00:25:44,500 --> 00:25:47,041
Except she's getting married.
429
00:25:47,041 --> 00:25:49,208
I can't discriminate
against married women.
430
00:25:49,208 --> 00:25:51,208
That wouldn't be nice of me.
431
00:25:53,166 --> 00:25:54,791
Ola will be mine anyway.
432
00:25:55,375 --> 00:25:57,666
- Yeah, you go on dreaming.
- Wanna bet?
433
00:25:57,666 --> 00:25:59,000
That's a bet.
434
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,375
Totally. We need to change the menu.
435
00:26:02,375 --> 00:26:06,833
We've got 30 guests allergic to shellfish,
40 to nuts, 16 to citrus fruits,
436
00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:09,583
and 200 gluten and lactose.
Put some gold flakes in.
437
00:26:09,583 --> 00:26:11,750
No one's allergic to gold.
What about the flatware?
438
00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:14,250
Uh, I have an invoice
for the insurance company right here.
439
00:26:14,791 --> 00:26:16,208
Phew! That's great.
440
00:26:16,208 --> 00:26:19,583
The tableware will be gold as well,
just like Melania,
441
00:26:19,583 --> 00:26:22,083
because everyone says I look like her.
442
00:26:22,083 --> 00:26:24,833
No, Melania would be lucky
just to wash your dishes.
443
00:26:24,833 --> 00:26:27,375
You're divine, Patsy.
444
00:26:27,375 --> 00:26:28,541
Got it?
445
00:26:29,083 --> 00:26:30,416
You got it?
446
00:26:33,416 --> 00:26:35,958
Attention! What's that supposed to be?
447
00:26:35,958 --> 00:26:37,166
That isn't the right look.
448
00:26:37,166 --> 00:26:38,750
- Where are their wigs?
- They're coming.
449
00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:40,125
- And the tights?
- Uh...
450
00:26:40,125 --> 00:26:41,250
Shoulders down.
451
00:26:41,250 --> 00:26:42,166
Shave.
452
00:26:42,166 --> 00:26:43,291
Smile.
453
00:26:43,291 --> 00:26:45,166
Wait. It's better if they don't smile.
454
00:26:46,458 --> 00:26:47,583
Positions!
455
00:26:48,750 --> 00:26:50,750
Right turn! Start!
456
00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:53,958
And action!
457
00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:57,125
Move it, move it, gentlemen.
One, two. One, two,
458
00:26:57,125 --> 00:26:59,208
Posture now! Keep your backs straight.
459
00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:02,291
And keep your distance
from everyone else, please.
460
00:27:02,291 --> 00:27:04,375
So is it a costumed wedding then?
461
00:27:04,375 --> 00:27:05,708
Don't be ridiculous.
462
00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,583
- This is just rehearsal dinner.
- Uh-huh.
463
00:27:08,583 --> 00:27:11,791
The actual wedding
will be at the Royal Castle.
464
00:27:11,791 --> 00:27:13,250
Whoa.
465
00:27:13,250 --> 00:27:16,583
But that is, of course,
absolutely top secret.
466
00:27:16,583 --> 00:27:17,625
Wow.
467
00:27:18,125 --> 00:27:19,458
Well...
468
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:26,916
Our event, uh, echoes the greatness
of the Polish Nobles' Commonwealth.
469
00:27:26,916 --> 00:27:30,625
Kuba Wojewódzki will be hosting
and ensuring the right ambience.
470
00:27:30,625 --> 00:27:35,583
The music will be provided by Ed Sheeran,
together with Beyoncé and Zenek Martyniuk.
471
00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:38,750
Get that out of my face!
At the stroke of midnight...
472
00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:43,291
...a spectacular fireworks will light up
the sky all over Warsaw.
473
00:27:43,291 --> 00:27:44,625
Wow.
474
00:27:46,125 --> 00:27:48,333
Our President will be there.
475
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,583
The US President will totally be there.
He's a friend of ours.
476
00:27:51,583 --> 00:27:55,666
Along with members of the government,
VIPs, over a thousand guests.
477
00:27:55,666 --> 00:27:57,208
That's going to cost a fortune.
478
00:27:57,208 --> 00:28:00,833
My husband has access to a dedicated fund
from the Crisis Shield.
479
00:28:01,333 --> 00:28:03,833
Our little prince...
480
00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:08,541
...is going to get a wedding
like this country has never seen before.
481
00:28:09,041 --> 00:28:12,041
Mm-hmm. But that's totally, absolutely...
482
00:28:12,041 --> 00:28:13,666
- Top secret.
- Top secret.
483
00:28:14,625 --> 00:28:18,916
So, uh, my son's wedding is on Saturday
484
00:28:18,916 --> 00:28:21,666
and on Sunday, my husband's election.
485
00:28:21,666 --> 00:28:24,750
- Mm-hmm.
- Pretty clever, modesty apart.
486
00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:25,916
What the fuck!
487
00:28:25,916 --> 00:28:27,833
- Are you out of your mind?!
- What is it?
488
00:28:27,833 --> 00:28:31,125
Councilman Paweł Zgrabny
and Senator Pizana at the same table?
489
00:28:31,125 --> 00:28:33,000
- Ugh!
- I'm so sorry! I'll change it right away.
490
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,583
It's a total bloodbath. Don't film this.
Stop filming! Don't you film this!
491
00:28:38,875 --> 00:28:40,125
What about the balloons?
492
00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:42,958
Where the hell are the balloons?
And... Ugh.
493
00:28:42,958 --> 00:28:45,416
The Great Hall has a mural by Bacciarelli.
494
00:28:45,416 --> 00:28:48,791
- It's a masterpiece. And balloons--
- It'll look better with balloons.
495
00:28:48,791 --> 00:28:52,291
- Right, Ola? Aleksandra!
- What? Yes, balloons will be much better.
496
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,750
Kris is calling. Hello, darling?
497
00:28:54,750 --> 00:28:57,208
Yes, I miss you too.
Everything's under control.
498
00:28:57,750 --> 00:28:59,583
I'm trying,
but she's driving me crazy.
499
00:28:59,583 --> 00:29:00,833
All right. Here it is.
500
00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:03,666
- Visualization.
- See? It's better with balloons.
501
00:29:03,666 --> 00:29:06,250
- Hello? Are you getting this right now?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
502
00:29:06,250 --> 00:29:08,250
The release mechanism needs improvement,
503
00:29:08,250 --> 00:29:10,625
but in general,
the balloons look very good.
504
00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:43,500
Are you filming?
505
00:29:43,500 --> 00:29:45,791
Yes, I am. Shall we?
506
00:29:46,291 --> 00:29:47,458
- Mm-hmm.
- All right.
507
00:29:47,458 --> 00:29:50,875
Uh, why don't you tell us something
about your future daughter-in-law?
508
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:53,041
I hope that Aleksandra
509
00:29:53,041 --> 00:29:55,666
is going to be a very good wife to my son.
510
00:29:55,666 --> 00:29:57,375
After all, he chose her himself.
511
00:29:57,375 --> 00:30:00,583
And Krystian has always had great taste,
totally luxurious.
512
00:30:00,583 --> 00:30:02,666
When he was an altar by, he--
513
00:30:02,666 --> 00:30:03,583
Just hold one second.
514
00:30:03,583 --> 00:30:06,333
Hello?
What do you mean he didn't come?
515
00:30:08,291 --> 00:30:09,458
Hold on. Wait a second.
516
00:30:09,958 --> 00:30:11,833
She didn't say much about you.
517
00:30:12,541 --> 00:30:15,375
- So how about you tell us a little more?
- No.
518
00:30:16,541 --> 00:30:18,708
Come on, please.
Don't make this difficult.
519
00:30:18,708 --> 00:30:20,916
Whatever you want.
About your family, I don't know.
520
00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:22,708
I'm an orphan. My grandma raised me.
521
00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:26,166
- And that's all?
- Yeah.
522
00:30:26,666 --> 00:30:27,583
Well, all right.
523
00:30:28,125 --> 00:30:31,916
How many of your people are you inviting
to this totally great wedding of yours?
524
00:30:31,916 --> 00:30:33,958
My grandma and two bridesmaids.
525
00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:36,333
Only three people? Out of a thousand?
526
00:30:40,041 --> 00:30:42,541
Can you look at the camera?
527
00:30:44,666 --> 00:30:45,500
There!
528
00:30:51,166 --> 00:30:53,750
I'd really like to...
get to know you.
529
00:30:53,750 --> 00:30:55,333
So, tell me about yourself.
530
00:30:56,375 --> 00:30:58,583
I looked for you on social media,
and you're not there.
531
00:30:58,583 --> 00:31:00,416
Are you a spy or something?
532
00:31:00,416 --> 00:31:02,291
I'm a student.
533
00:31:02,291 --> 00:31:03,375
Okay. Of what?
534
00:31:03,375 --> 00:31:04,541
Romance Studies.
535
00:31:04,541 --> 00:31:05,958
Ooh! What year?
536
00:31:06,916 --> 00:31:09,166
- I'm writing my master's now.
- What about?
537
00:31:09,166 --> 00:31:10,666
About courtly love.
538
00:31:10,666 --> 00:31:12,375
About courtly love?
539
00:31:12,375 --> 00:31:15,416
Courtly love is the archetype
of what we call passionate love,
540
00:31:15,416 --> 00:31:17,708
crazy, against everything and everyone.
541
00:31:17,708 --> 00:31:19,666
But for you, I'm sure it's an abstraction.
542
00:31:19,666 --> 00:31:22,250
And do you really know
what true passion is?
543
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,708
All right, tell me more.
Recite a fragment of something for me.
544
00:31:26,708 --> 00:31:30,250
"My lords, if you would hear a high tale
of love and death..."
545
00:31:30,250 --> 00:31:32,458
- Oh! Tristan and Isolde.
- Have you read it?
546
00:31:32,458 --> 00:31:33,708
Of course I have.
547
00:31:33,708 --> 00:31:36,625
"...how to their full joy,
but to their sorrow also."
548
00:31:36,625 --> 00:31:38,666
"They loved each other,
and how at last they died..."
549
00:31:38,666 --> 00:31:40,750
-"...of that love..."
-"...together upon one day, she by him..."
550
00:31:40,750 --> 00:31:43,958
-"...and he by her. Amour et mort.”
-"...and he by her. Amour et mort.”
551
00:31:43,958 --> 00:31:46,583
- And what is the supposed to mean?
- It's about love and death.
552
00:31:47,166 --> 00:31:49,541
Okay. Don't you have something to edit?
553
00:31:49,541 --> 00:31:51,500
- Like what?
- Go look over the footage.
554
00:31:51,500 --> 00:31:54,041
-"Amour et mort.”
-"Amour et mort.”
555
00:31:55,458 --> 00:31:57,916
All right then.
Love and death. What about it?
556
00:31:58,500 --> 00:32:01,416
Love only moves us
when death looms over it.
557
00:32:01,416 --> 00:32:05,958
Love playing with risk, love on the edge,
love that ignores all the rules.
558
00:32:11,541 --> 00:32:12,375
Oh!
559
00:32:13,166 --> 00:32:15,208
Help me up, you moron.
560
00:32:15,208 --> 00:32:16,875
Well?!
561
00:32:35,458 --> 00:32:37,208
Ah.
562
00:32:37,208 --> 00:32:40,083
What do you mean they ordered first?
They're my flowers.
563
00:32:40,583 --> 00:32:42,833
What do I care about some First Holy Mass?
564
00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:44,166
Whose son?
565
00:32:44,708 --> 00:32:46,666
Ah. I understand.
566
00:32:46,666 --> 00:32:49,375
In a cathedral,
lilies would look much better, right?
567
00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:50,541
The camellias are mine.
568
00:32:50,541 --> 00:32:53,291
And you better bring them over here
right fucking now!
569
00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:59,291
I'm generally good-natured,
but sometimes I get totally pissed off.
570
00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:02,791
Hey, I know of a great place
to get flowers. Low prices.
571
00:33:02,791 --> 00:33:04,125
Low prices.
572
00:33:04,125 --> 00:33:08,416
Aw, what's with you, Aleksandra?
You look totally flushed. Take something.
573
00:33:08,416 --> 00:33:10,583
I don't want you ruining the wedding
because of some...
574
00:33:10,583 --> 00:33:12,375
...some virus.
575
00:33:13,083 --> 00:33:14,250
Oh!
576
00:33:17,333 --> 00:33:20,750
- What are you doing?
- Uh, I didn't touch it. Look?
577
00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:27,625
So tell me, is your loving mother-in-law
giving you trouble?
578
00:33:27,625 --> 00:33:30,500
Well, she keeps shouting at everyone,
pushing me around like furniture.
579
00:33:30,500 --> 00:33:34,000
She wanted me to get a nose job, but
she couldn't risk it not healing in time.
580
00:33:35,500 --> 00:33:37,958
- And what does Kris say?
- He's still in Dubai.
581
00:33:37,958 --> 00:33:39,625
He should be supporting you.
582
00:33:39,625 --> 00:33:42,625
He can see how much his mother cares.
She insisted on paying for everything.
583
00:33:42,625 --> 00:33:45,333
Wait, but I bought the dress.
584
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,666
Let's have another drink.
585
00:33:50,166 --> 00:33:52,375
The only thing I fought for were the vows.
586
00:33:52,375 --> 00:33:54,375
It will be quiet, modest, normal.
587
00:33:54,958 --> 00:33:57,666
Ola, dear, what on earth is the matter?
588
00:33:59,416 --> 00:34:02,416
You should be positively buzzing
with joy right now.
589
00:34:02,416 --> 00:34:04,833
And you look so worried.
590
00:34:04,833 --> 00:34:06,458
You look miserable.
591
00:34:06,458 --> 00:34:09,666
- That's what love does to some people.
- What nonsense.
592
00:34:09,666 --> 00:34:11,875
When I was getting married...
593
00:34:11,875 --> 00:34:14,500
Grandma, actually, your marriage
was not a model relationship.
594
00:34:14,500 --> 00:34:16,750
Which one? With Stefan?
595
00:34:16,750 --> 00:34:19,000
We were crazy for each other.
596
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:20,750
I don't want to hear about that.
597
00:34:20,750 --> 00:34:24,666
We only got out of bed
when we were weak with hunger.
598
00:34:24,666 --> 00:34:27,541
The rest of the time we were busy buzzing.
599
00:34:29,083 --> 00:34:31,000
But the most important thing
600
00:34:31,583 --> 00:34:35,291
is just that he's someone
who can make you truly happy.
601
00:34:35,291 --> 00:34:37,666
I am happy. Kris fulfills my every wish.
602
00:34:37,666 --> 00:34:38,666
Is it buzzing?
603
00:34:38,666 --> 00:34:40,458
- What?
- You know.
604
00:34:40,458 --> 00:34:43,375
Does your body buzz when you're with him?
605
00:34:46,166 --> 00:34:49,500
Dude, this whole courtly love thing
is actually pretty cool.
606
00:34:49,500 --> 00:34:51,583
They kept getting into love triangles.
607
00:34:52,208 --> 00:34:54,750
The Lady cheats on her Lord
with a sexy knight.
608
00:34:54,750 --> 00:34:57,500
Now that's the kind of thing
I like to hear.
609
00:34:58,833 --> 00:35:01,166
- Why didn't we learn thins in school?
- You know what?
610
00:35:01,166 --> 00:35:04,333
You have a very......one-track mind.
611
00:35:04,333 --> 00:35:06,583
You simplify everything.
612
00:35:07,166 --> 00:35:11,416
Listen, I know you don't need my advice,
but... maybe a little?
613
00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:13,208
Ah.
614
00:35:14,166 --> 00:35:15,000
Hmm.
615
00:35:24,583 --> 00:35:26,875
That's good, for Halloween.
616
00:35:37,875 --> 00:35:39,416
Nah.
617
00:35:42,125 --> 00:35:43,791
Ah.
618
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,041
Listen, that acually look pretty good.
619
00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:51,500
- Just don't slouch.
- Oh.
620
00:35:52,333 --> 00:35:53,916
Posture projects your attitude.
621
00:35:54,625 --> 00:35:56,333
Hold on. What attitude?
622
00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:59,458
Be relaxed, self-confident.
623
00:36:00,333 --> 00:36:02,458
She needs to know
you're dealing the cards.
624
00:36:02,458 --> 00:36:04,833
I... I'm not dealing any cards.
625
00:36:06,416 --> 00:36:10,041
Ugh. You know, sometimes I really think
there's something wrong with you.
626
00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:13,666
Body language,
use it to send vibes, signals.
627
00:36:13,666 --> 00:36:15,166
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Chicks dig it.
628
00:36:16,666 --> 00:36:18,125
Yeah.
629
00:36:18,958 --> 00:36:19,958
I'm proud of you.
630
00:36:21,041 --> 00:36:22,541
Now you can pick them up by the bunch.
631
00:36:23,416 --> 00:36:25,916
I told you. I don't want
to pick up bunches of anything
632
00:36:25,916 --> 00:36:28,208
'cause I love Clara,
and I don't want to cheat on her.
633
00:36:28,208 --> 00:36:30,666
I don't want you to cheat on her.
634
00:36:31,166 --> 00:36:33,541
I just want you
to make her a little jealous.
635
00:36:33,541 --> 00:36:36,125
It's a powerful aphrodisiac,
I'm telling you.
636
00:36:36,125 --> 00:36:39,416
Appreciate it. It's priceless knowledge,
and you get it for free.
637
00:36:39,416 --> 00:36:43,125
How many times have I told you?
I don't want any of your moronic advice.
638
00:36:45,208 --> 00:36:47,458
Well? Just spit it out then.
639
00:36:50,125 --> 00:36:51,833
- Thanks, all right?
- Say it again.
640
00:36:51,833 --> 00:36:53,500
- Thank you.
- One more time.
641
00:36:55,333 --> 00:36:57,083
GREEN STEM
642
00:36:57,083 --> 00:36:59,166
- Good morning.
- Sorry, but I have to go out for a--
643
00:36:59,166 --> 00:37:00,083
Hello there.
644
00:37:00,958 --> 00:37:01,916
Oh, it's you.
645
00:37:02,458 --> 00:37:04,083
Uh, I mean it's you, sir.
646
00:37:04,083 --> 00:37:05,041
Well, yeah.
647
00:37:08,250 --> 00:37:11,833
You... you... you look somehow... different?
648
00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:16,458
Oh, it's just a little metamorphosis.
649
00:37:17,708 --> 00:37:20,125
You look so Hollywood.
650
00:37:20,791 --> 00:37:23,291
Like Brad Pitt or Leonardo, or something.
651
00:37:23,291 --> 00:37:25,791
- Are you teasing me? Are you...
- Uh...
652
00:37:25,791 --> 00:37:29,083
- Really?
- No! I would never make fun of you, sir.
653
00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,041
I'm sorry about last time.
654
00:37:34,541 --> 00:37:36,541
Well, we could always be friends, or...
655
00:37:37,625 --> 00:37:38,625
Start over?
656
00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:43,791
- Janek.
- Klara.
657
00:37:44,458 --> 00:37:46,333
Janek.
658
00:37:48,041 --> 00:37:52,958
Uh, what do you think about...
about what's going on in the world?
659
00:37:53,583 --> 00:37:54,416
About what?
660
00:37:55,750 --> 00:37:57,458
The whole global situation.
661
00:37:59,791 --> 00:38:01,708
Like in Africa or in the Middle East?
662
00:38:01,708 --> 00:38:04,541
Um, I guess in general?
663
00:38:05,583 --> 00:38:07,375
I'm generally worried about--
664
00:38:07,375 --> 00:38:08,791
A-- about what?
665
00:38:09,958 --> 00:38:12,000
- Well, in general.
- Ah.
666
00:38:12,625 --> 00:38:14,333
Um, and in detail?
667
00:38:15,458 --> 00:38:16,458
In detail?
668
00:38:16,458 --> 00:38:20,375
Well, about the climate crisis,
the economic crisis,
669
00:38:20,375 --> 00:38:22,500
the destruction of tropical rain forests...
670
00:38:22,500 --> 00:38:23,875
- Ah.
- ...terrorism, the pandemic,
671
00:38:23,875 --> 00:38:25,750
um, all the children starving in Africa--
672
00:38:25,750 --> 00:38:27,041
Uh... A-and in Ethiopia?
673
00:38:28,625 --> 00:38:29,833
Well, yes, of course.
674
00:38:29,833 --> 00:38:33,041
You can't have all the world's problems
on your shoulders.
675
00:38:33,041 --> 00:38:34,708
Or can you?
676
00:38:34,708 --> 00:38:36,958
Is that you, honey-bunny?
Where were you?
677
00:38:36,958 --> 00:38:39,166
Wow, you look so handsome, so elegant.
678
00:38:39,166 --> 00:38:41,500
- I've missed you so much.
- But--
679
00:38:44,041 --> 00:38:46,833
- What are you doing, ma'am?
- What, don't you recognize me?
680
00:38:46,833 --> 00:38:49,125
No. Please leave me alone.
You're a lunatic!
681
00:38:49,125 --> 00:38:51,625
Hello, hello, excuse me. Uh...
682
00:38:52,916 --> 00:38:54,500
- Is this guy bothering you, ma'am?
- What?
683
00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:55,916
- She's the one bothering me.
- No.
684
00:38:55,916 --> 00:38:57,416
Calm down. Calm down!
685
00:38:57,416 --> 00:38:58,916
Should we calm him down for you?
686
00:38:58,916 --> 00:39:02,291
It's just our little lovers' spat.
Right, honey-bunny?
687
00:39:02,291 --> 00:39:03,708
Who are you?
688
00:39:15,125 --> 00:39:16,166
Get out.
689
00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:17,625
Get out!
690
00:39:18,291 --> 00:39:19,125
What's up?
691
00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:23,083
You hired that crazy woman
to embarrass and humiliate me.
692
00:39:23,083 --> 00:39:24,000
But...
693
00:39:25,750 --> 00:39:27,250
What is this is about?
694
00:39:27,250 --> 00:39:28,291
Klara.
695
00:39:28,291 --> 00:39:30,708
She... She took off.
696
00:39:31,541 --> 00:39:33,083
- She was crying.
- She was crying?
697
00:39:33,083 --> 00:39:34,666
- I think so.
- That's good.
698
00:39:35,208 --> 00:39:38,708
- That means to her, you're important.
- Well, to me, you're just an asshole.
699
00:39:38,708 --> 00:39:39,750
Chill out.
700
00:39:39,750 --> 00:39:42,583
- Everything is going to plan then.
- Oh yeah? What plan?
701
00:39:43,791 --> 00:39:47,000
Since time immemorial,
lovers have conquered obstacles,
702
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:48,125
haven't they?
703
00:39:48,125 --> 00:39:50,166
Hamlet and Ophelia, Romeo and Juliet...
704
00:39:50,166 --> 00:39:53,291
To get your happy ending,
you've gotta use your noodle.
705
00:39:53,291 --> 00:39:57,583
Wh-- What happy ending?
They all die, you dolt!
706
00:40:01,500 --> 00:40:03,250
Just trust me.
707
00:40:20,416 --> 00:40:22,958
- Ha. This is my design. Do you like it?
- Yeah?
708
00:40:22,958 --> 00:40:23,916
Nice.
709
00:40:23,916 --> 00:40:25,750
- I have to go home.
- Out of the question.
710
00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:26,708
I really do.
711
00:40:26,708 --> 00:40:28,833
Aleksandra, am I asking too much of you?
712
00:40:28,833 --> 00:40:30,041
I just want--
713
00:40:30,041 --> 00:40:32,333
I expect a little more support from you.
714
00:40:32,333 --> 00:40:34,250
- That's all.
- I didn't want a wedding like this.
715
00:40:34,250 --> 00:40:35,583
- I wanted a modest--
- Modest?
716
00:40:35,583 --> 00:40:37,625
What will people say? And the opposition?
717
00:40:37,625 --> 00:40:40,416
That my husband doesn't adhere
to the most important values?
718
00:40:40,416 --> 00:40:42,875
Every girl dreams of a fairy-tale wedding.
719
00:40:42,875 --> 00:40:45,208
- Would you let me explain?
- I'm talking now!
720
00:40:45,208 --> 00:40:49,208
And you, try not to forget
that you're joining our family.
721
00:40:49,708 --> 00:40:51,875
That's our family.
722
00:40:51,875 --> 00:40:55,500
Our position has certain obligations.
My husband is about to become president.
723
00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:57,916
That's great. Excuse me. Excuse me!
724
00:40:57,916 --> 00:41:00,791
Why are you just standing there?
Bring her back now!
725
00:41:02,291 --> 00:41:04,916
And why are you standing there?
Are you recording the cake?
726
00:41:04,916 --> 00:41:06,458
All right, let's start from scratch.
727
00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:12,833
Hold on.
728
00:41:13,833 --> 00:41:17,375
You can't drive
in this condition. Let me drive you.
729
00:41:31,875 --> 00:41:35,125
- How is your contract of a lifetime?
- Ah, they weren't worth it.
730
00:41:35,125 --> 00:41:37,375
You know,
I got through your Tristan and Isolde.
731
00:41:37,375 --> 00:41:38,416
- Got through it?
- Yeah.
732
00:41:38,416 --> 00:41:40,500
- Any thoughts?
- Well, it's an interesting story.
733
00:41:40,500 --> 00:41:43,583
She gets forcibly engaged to that king,
falls in with Tristan,
734
00:41:43,583 --> 00:41:45,083
and they're together
for the rest of their lives.
735
00:41:45,083 --> 00:41:46,958
I know it by heart.
I don't need your cliff notes.
736
00:41:46,958 --> 00:41:48,375
Any opinions of your own?
737
00:41:48,375 --> 00:41:50,625
Well, you were really screwed over.
738
00:41:50,625 --> 00:41:52,666
- And by you, I mean women.
- Mm-hmm.
739
00:41:52,666 --> 00:41:55,416
Forced into marriage
against your will for financial reasons.
740
00:41:55,416 --> 00:41:58,083
You think a little orphan girl
snagged a Prince Charming?
741
00:41:58,083 --> 00:42:02,000
- Fell for his money and status?
- No, I'm just offering to be your Tristan.
742
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:03,916
In case you have a dragon
you need to hunt.
743
00:42:03,916 --> 00:42:05,666
Thanks, no need.
744
00:42:06,833 --> 00:42:08,125
That's pretty convenient.
745
00:42:09,083 --> 00:42:12,583
- Eh?
- You get married,
consummate with your husband,
746
00:42:13,208 --> 00:42:15,958
and then... sleep with whoever you want.
747
00:42:15,958 --> 00:42:17,041
You're unbelievable.
748
00:42:17,041 --> 00:42:19,750
- That's how the book goes.
- All right, stop digging your own grave.
749
00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:25,958
Grandma, are you all right?
750
00:42:25,958 --> 00:42:28,416
Bronek called to say
you weren't answering your phone.
751
00:42:28,416 --> 00:42:29,458
Bronek?
752
00:42:29,458 --> 00:42:30,625
He's hysterical.
753
00:42:30,625 --> 00:42:33,916
Stubborn like an ox,
and he won't see a doctor.
754
00:42:35,041 --> 00:42:37,291
I just broke up with him.
755
00:42:37,958 --> 00:42:39,458
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
756
00:42:39,458 --> 00:42:43,125
- This is Tomek. He's filming a making of.
- Wh-- What does that mean?
757
00:42:43,125 --> 00:42:46,500
- Uh, it's a film about the film.
- Ah.
758
00:42:46,500 --> 00:42:47,958
Thanks. You can go now.
759
00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:51,500
Ola, dear. Why don't you make some tea.
760
00:42:54,666 --> 00:42:57,916
And you, sonny,
get the cake and some plates.
761
00:43:11,666 --> 00:43:13,625
That's when the mother-in-law...
762
00:43:13,625 --> 00:43:16,916
...said that if they skimp on the wedding,
it would totally ruin their prestige.
763
00:43:16,916 --> 00:43:19,916
Totally. Let them fall.
764
00:43:21,250 --> 00:43:23,041
Such a nice boy.
765
00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:26,833
- Hmm?
- Do you see any faults in yourself?
766
00:43:27,333 --> 00:43:28,916
- Mm-hmm.
- Too bad you've gotta go, Tomek.
767
00:43:28,916 --> 00:43:31,666
- It was a pleasure.
- A lot of 'em.
768
00:43:31,666 --> 00:43:34,541
Gluttony, lack of manners.
Excuse me.
769
00:43:37,083 --> 00:43:40,291
Laziness, thoughtlessness, unreliability,
770
00:43:40,291 --> 00:43:43,666
impulsiveness, weakness
for the fairer sex, unstable emotions.
771
00:43:43,666 --> 00:43:46,291
I could go through the whole alphabet.
772
00:43:47,166 --> 00:43:48,291
It's unbelievable.
773
00:43:49,125 --> 00:43:51,666
He's the spitting image
of your late grandfather.
774
00:43:53,083 --> 00:43:55,583
- That rascal.
- But I believe in love.
775
00:43:56,708 --> 00:43:59,500
- What do you mean?
- Grandma, don't listen to him.
776
00:44:00,958 --> 00:44:03,375
I believe love can change a person.
777
00:44:04,791 --> 00:44:05,750
That when we love,
778
00:44:07,041 --> 00:44:08,083
we become better.
779
00:44:10,416 --> 00:44:13,750
And the world around us
becomes better too.
780
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,791
You should write that down.
781
00:44:18,416 --> 00:44:19,250
Poetry.
782
00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,750
One more piece?
783
00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:27,500
I'll take it if you're not gonna eat it.
784
00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:29,833
Mmm. Delicious!
785
00:44:29,833 --> 00:44:31,916
Oh geez, I'm sorry!
786
00:44:33,166 --> 00:44:34,875
- Hello?
-Where are you right now?
787
00:44:34,875 --> 00:44:36,750
Patsy is apoplectic.
788
00:44:36,750 --> 00:44:39,750
A rascal,
but you can tell that he likes you, dear.
789
00:44:41,375 --> 00:44:44,875
- What are you talking about?
- About the way he looks at you.
790
00:44:44,875 --> 00:44:47,500
- What way?
- What else? Things are buzzing!
791
00:44:47,500 --> 00:44:48,791
Grandma!
792
00:44:48,791 --> 00:44:50,000
It's true!
793
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,500
Buzzing. Buzzing.
794
00:45:16,416 --> 00:45:18,166
- Thief!
- Stay there!
795
00:45:22,166 --> 00:45:23,833
Boo!
796
00:45:23,833 --> 00:45:25,208
- It's you?
- Who else?
797
00:45:25,208 --> 00:45:26,916
How could you do that?
798
00:45:27,416 --> 00:45:28,458
How could you, huh?
799
00:45:28,458 --> 00:45:30,333
Destiny needs a little help.
800
00:45:30,333 --> 00:45:32,541
- You're a thief.
- Well then, snitch on me.
801
00:45:32,541 --> 00:45:35,416
- Why didn't you warn me first?
- I wanted you to look natural.
802
00:45:35,416 --> 00:45:37,041
And you did. Here you go.
803
00:45:37,041 --> 00:45:37,958
You...
804
00:45:38,500 --> 00:45:40,166
- What's going on here?
- It's him!
805
00:45:40,166 --> 00:45:43,208
What? Gentlemen, what are you--
It wasn't me!
806
00:45:43,208 --> 00:45:45,250
Yeah, very good! That's right.
807
00:45:45,250 --> 00:45:46,541
Gentlemen, it's not him!
808
00:45:46,541 --> 00:45:48,625
- No, no, no! It's not him!
- Take this-- What?
809
00:45:48,625 --> 00:45:50,583
I'm telling you, it's not him!
810
00:45:50,583 --> 00:45:52,166
- It's not him.
- Ah.
811
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:53,458
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
812
00:46:06,666 --> 00:46:07,625
Does it hurt?
813
00:46:07,625 --> 00:46:09,041
Not at all.
814
00:46:15,125 --> 00:46:16,000
May I?
815
00:46:27,541 --> 00:46:29,416
I really like you a lot, Klara.
816
00:46:29,416 --> 00:46:30,333
I like you too.
817
00:46:30,958 --> 00:46:32,250
But that's why we can't.
818
00:46:32,250 --> 00:46:33,208
Why not?
819
00:46:33,791 --> 00:46:35,791
Yeah. I don't want you on my conscience.
820
00:46:35,791 --> 00:46:37,291
But what are you...
821
00:46:38,583 --> 00:46:40,333
There's some kind of curse over me.
822
00:46:41,000 --> 00:46:42,083
Every guy that I...
823
00:46:43,250 --> 00:46:45,125
One died
in a motorbike accident,
824
00:46:45,708 --> 00:46:47,708
another disappeared
in a trekking trip in Asia.
825
00:46:47,708 --> 00:46:50,208
The third one had a great business
that suddenly went bankrupt.
826
00:46:50,208 --> 00:46:53,166
That's why I dress like this,
in these rags, these jumpsuits,
827
00:46:53,166 --> 00:46:55,791
so people don't see me
because I'm afraid that if--
828
00:47:04,041 --> 00:47:04,916
All right.
829
00:47:07,333 --> 00:47:09,791
- I don't want to rush into things.
- I understand.
830
00:47:11,458 --> 00:47:13,333
All right, the asymptote can wait.
831
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:15,041
It can wait.
832
00:47:15,041 --> 00:47:17,541
And we can do it whenever you're ready.
833
00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:20,833
Thank you.
834
00:47:24,916 --> 00:47:25,875
You are so...
835
00:47:29,416 --> 00:47:30,416
So...
836
00:47:32,541 --> 00:47:34,791
- You're like a lion.
- Wait! I-- Oh!
837
00:47:35,333 --> 00:47:36,833
- Oh!
- No, no, no, stop whining.
838
00:47:58,833 --> 00:48:00,333
- Ah!
- I forgot my key.
839
00:48:00,333 --> 00:48:02,500
I can see you're in a good mood.
840
00:48:02,500 --> 00:48:05,416
- Oh, well...
- No, I don't believe it.
841
00:48:05,416 --> 00:48:07,041
- Mm-hmm.
- Seriously?
842
00:48:07,041 --> 00:48:10,541
Did you manage
to get your stem in her flower bud?
843
00:48:11,375 --> 00:48:12,458
You're just pathetic.
844
00:48:12,458 --> 00:48:15,541
But I was right.
Your shared trauma brought you together.
845
00:48:15,541 --> 00:48:18,166
- But it was completely staged.
- But you didn't know that.
846
00:48:18,166 --> 00:48:20,083
Well, now I know. And...
847
00:48:20,833 --> 00:48:22,875
I'm done. I'm done filming.
848
00:48:22,875 --> 00:48:25,666
Thanks to me, you got your flower
in just a few days.
849
00:48:25,666 --> 00:48:28,791
- And you want to abandon me?
- Ola is too nice for you, man.
850
00:48:28,791 --> 00:48:32,166
And you're just trying to ruin her life
for fun, but I won't let you.
851
00:48:32,166 --> 00:48:34,750
We had a deal. You promised to help me.
852
00:48:34,750 --> 00:48:37,916
- Because I wanted you to leave.
- No, you can't abandon me.
853
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:40,500
Look who's talking?
854
00:48:41,166 --> 00:48:42,541
The runaway king.
855
00:48:42,541 --> 00:48:45,083
- What are you talking about?
- You know perfectly well.
856
00:48:45,083 --> 00:48:46,916
Where were you when mom died?
857
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:52,000
I was studying.
858
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:52,958
Studying?
859
00:48:53,958 --> 00:48:55,458
You call that studying?
860
00:48:56,208 --> 00:48:58,375
Parties, chicks,
that's all you cared about.
861
00:49:01,750 --> 00:49:02,708
That's not true.
862
00:49:05,875 --> 00:49:08,083
- You can't abandon me.
- Actually I can.
863
00:49:10,583 --> 00:49:11,416
No!
864
00:49:12,875 --> 00:49:14,416
- Yes.
- No, man!
865
00:49:14,416 --> 00:49:15,666
- Yes!
- No!
866
00:50:01,458 --> 00:50:02,708
Do you know who I am?
867
00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:04,958
Smyra.
868
00:50:05,875 --> 00:50:07,208
Don Smyra.
869
00:50:07,208 --> 00:50:09,083
Th-- Th-- The greatest Polish...
870
00:50:09,083 --> 00:50:10,875
Polish gangster.
871
00:50:10,875 --> 00:50:11,791
It's bull crap.
872
00:50:13,083 --> 00:50:13,916
Georgie.
873
00:50:15,458 --> 00:50:18,208
Georgie here is...
...a terrible criminal,
874
00:50:19,166 --> 00:50:21,833
but his cooking is five-star.
875
00:50:22,541 --> 00:50:25,500
Please, have a seat.
Georgie, what did you make for us?
876
00:50:26,125 --> 00:50:28,125
Oh, a classic, Mr. Smyra.
877
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:29,875
Homard grillé au béarnais
878
00:50:30,958 --> 00:50:33,333
Lobster, a delicious breakfast.
879
00:50:33,916 --> 00:50:35,166
Grab yourself a claw.
880
00:50:35,875 --> 00:50:37,250
And bon appetit.
881
00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,041
Now to the point.
882
00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:43,458
I was supposed to get out on parole.
And I would have,
883
00:50:43,458 --> 00:50:46,708
if not for Kosecki, who's targeting me
with a new investigation.
884
00:50:48,208 --> 00:50:50,958
That's interesting,
but what does it have to do with us?
885
00:50:50,958 --> 00:50:54,083
Although I'm sitting here,
I have eyes and ears everywhere.
886
00:50:55,875 --> 00:50:57,083
So...
887
00:50:57,666 --> 00:50:58,541
What do you see?
888
00:50:58,541 --> 00:50:59,958
- I see you.
- Me?
889
00:50:59,958 --> 00:51:01,833
A cheap Casanova.
890
00:51:01,833 --> 00:51:03,083
And what you're up to.
891
00:51:03,833 --> 00:51:05,541
- And what am I up to?
- No good!
892
00:51:08,916 --> 00:51:12,833
If Kosecki Junior doesn't get married
tomorrow, then I...
893
00:51:12,833 --> 00:51:13,958
Then you're screwed.
894
00:51:14,541 --> 00:51:15,750
Then I'm screwed.
895
00:51:15,750 --> 00:51:17,583
And then that would make you what?
896
00:51:17,583 --> 00:51:18,500
Screwed also?
897
00:51:18,500 --> 00:51:20,875
Screwed also,
worse than a turkey at Thanksgiving.
898
00:51:20,875 --> 00:51:22,958
First thing I'll do
is hurt your loved ones.
899
00:51:22,958 --> 00:51:25,958
- Yeah, but we don't have family.
- And the flower girl?
900
00:51:26,791 --> 00:51:29,416
I mean, she just sells cacti and--
901
00:51:29,416 --> 00:51:31,666
Hold on. Just a moment,
one moment. Hold on.
902
00:51:32,416 --> 00:51:34,833
I don't understand.
One more time from the beginning.
903
00:51:34,833 --> 00:51:37,833
What does Kosecki
never stop talking about?
904
00:51:37,833 --> 00:51:40,666
The death penalty.
He's obsessed with that shit.
905
00:51:40,666 --> 00:51:45,500
The death penalty is the second
most important to... family.
906
00:51:46,291 --> 00:51:49,041
If I'm family,
he'll have to kill the investigation.
907
00:51:49,041 --> 00:51:50,208
Get it?
908
00:52:03,208 --> 00:52:04,666
Ola is my flesh and blood.
909
00:52:04,666 --> 00:52:06,833
What?
So Kosecki didn't check her out?
910
00:52:06,833 --> 00:52:08,125
He tried to.
911
00:52:08,750 --> 00:52:10,583
But I erased any records long ago.
912
00:52:10,583 --> 00:52:14,958
So then, Ola
and Kosecki Junior's wedding is a setup?
913
00:52:14,958 --> 00:52:18,041
Do you take me for an asshole
who would use his kid?
914
00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:19,666
No, not at all.
915
00:52:22,208 --> 00:52:23,583
So no more making-of?
916
00:52:24,458 --> 00:52:25,833
Quite the opposite.
917
00:52:25,833 --> 00:52:28,000
You'll finish your gig, of course.
918
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:31,166
I can't wait
to have such a wonderful souvenir.
919
00:52:31,166 --> 00:52:33,541
Now, dig right in. Come on.
920
00:52:39,041 --> 00:52:41,041
- Ah!
- Ow!
921
00:52:51,125 --> 00:52:52,708
How many girls have you dumped?
922
00:52:53,291 --> 00:52:54,791
Hmm, a few.
923
00:52:55,500 --> 00:52:58,083
But I'm sure they're much happier now,
believe me.
924
00:52:58,083 --> 00:52:59,000
Why do you ask?
925
00:53:00,875 --> 00:53:04,083
Because for the first time in my life,
I wish I were like you.
926
00:53:05,500 --> 00:53:06,875
A heartless Casanova.
927
00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:19,875
- Hey, babe.
- Hi.
928
00:53:19,875 --> 00:53:20,791
Whassup?
929
00:53:21,958 --> 00:53:23,666
Hmm.
930
00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:25,333
Coming in?
931
00:53:27,583 --> 00:53:28,416
Nah.
932
00:53:29,458 --> 00:53:32,541
I've gotta go.
I've got a date with a chick.
933
00:53:34,125 --> 00:53:36,208
I mean, sorry it didn't work out.
934
00:53:36,208 --> 00:53:38,083
Are you high right now?
935
00:53:38,083 --> 00:53:39,083
What? Huh?
936
00:53:39,083 --> 00:53:40,666
N-- No, but I plan to be.
937
00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:43,583
It's not about you.
Please don't make that face.
938
00:53:43,583 --> 00:53:45,291
It's me. I need more space and...
939
00:53:47,250 --> 00:53:52,000
Well, you... you know, we... we had some fun,
coco-jumbo and all that.
940
00:53:52,708 --> 00:53:54,791
We never promised anything, yeah?
941
00:53:55,875 --> 00:53:57,708
Please, just don't start crying,
all right?
942
00:53:58,208 --> 00:54:00,541
Co... Coco-jumbo and all that?
943
00:54:02,125 --> 00:54:03,666
I don't get it.
944
00:54:04,333 --> 00:54:06,500
Yesterday you said you liked me,
and today--
945
00:54:06,500 --> 00:54:08,458
And today is today. That's life, babe.
946
00:54:09,875 --> 00:54:11,875
Everything's got an end, right?
947
00:54:11,875 --> 00:54:13,166
So, well...
948
00:54:13,833 --> 00:54:14,666
See you.
949
00:54:55,375 --> 00:54:57,750
Okay--
950
00:54:57,750 --> 00:55:00,833
If you'll just sign right here,
we can get started.
951
00:55:00,833 --> 00:55:02,041
What is that?
952
00:55:02,041 --> 00:55:04,583
It's an annex.
The final cut belongs to us.
953
00:55:05,291 --> 00:55:06,125
Right.
954
00:55:07,333 --> 00:55:09,833
May I ask you, Kris,
to clap for the microphone,
955
00:55:09,833 --> 00:55:11,291
so we can sync the audio?
956
00:55:11,291 --> 00:55:12,583
- Me?
- Yeah.
957
00:55:14,541 --> 00:55:17,500
- One moment. Right here.
- Here.
958
00:55:19,208 --> 00:55:20,666
Oh sorry, one more time.
959
00:55:23,625 --> 00:55:24,458
Okay.
960
00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:29,083
- When did you get together?
- Over a year.
961
00:55:29,083 --> 00:55:32,666
One year, two months,
five days, and... eight hours.
962
00:55:33,333 --> 00:55:34,708
It was love at first sight.
963
00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:39,125
Oh incredible. I thought things like that
only happen in movies.
964
00:55:39,125 --> 00:55:41,708
Well, as you can see,
life writes the best stories.
965
00:55:42,250 --> 00:55:44,916
Uh, okay,
and where did you meet?
966
00:55:45,875 --> 00:55:47,583
At a wedding.
967
00:55:47,583 --> 00:55:50,958
Ola's friend and my friend,
it was their wedding, you know?
968
00:55:51,666 --> 00:55:52,708
It was a sign.
969
00:55:53,875 --> 00:55:54,958
Uh, what sign?
970
00:55:56,833 --> 00:56:00,083
From above.
We were simply destined for each other.
971
00:56:00,083 --> 00:56:03,041
Wow. that is incredibly romantic.
972
00:56:03,041 --> 00:56:05,541
And what was it like
from your perspective, Ola?
973
00:56:05,541 --> 00:56:06,666
Same feeling.
974
00:56:07,541 --> 00:56:10,666
You're such a lucky guy, Kris.
You never had any competition.
975
00:56:12,666 --> 00:56:15,666
And what do you think
about the institution of marriage?
976
00:56:15,666 --> 00:56:17,208
Well, that's pretty obvious.
977
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:20,875
Marriage is a religiously consecrated bond
between two people,
978
00:56:20,875 --> 00:56:23,875
which confirms their love
through a sacrament.
979
00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:26,875
And what about you?
980
00:56:26,875 --> 00:56:29,250
- A romantic journey into the unknown.
- Oh!
981
00:56:29,916 --> 00:56:31,833
A journey. Very well put.
982
00:56:31,833 --> 00:56:33,916
- Like Columbus' journey.
- Exactly.
983
00:56:33,916 --> 00:56:38,166
Yes. You're Columbus, and I'm America,
which you're trying to plunder.
984
00:56:39,250 --> 00:56:41,416
I'm sorry. That's not what...
985
00:56:41,416 --> 00:56:44,000
Is... Is it just me
or are these questions stupid?
986
00:56:44,583 --> 00:56:47,416
- Uh, the viewers would like to know.
- Excuse me, what viewers?
987
00:56:47,416 --> 00:56:49,958
Well, how about... their children.
988
00:56:49,958 --> 00:56:52,541
They'll want to see
how their parents got it all started.
989
00:56:53,041 --> 00:56:54,750
Which reminds me, uh...
990
00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:58,041
Children, I assume
you're gonna wanna have them, right?
991
00:56:58,750 --> 00:57:01,500
Uh, you're having unprotected sex, right?
992
00:57:01,500 --> 00:57:03,583
You're being vulgar.
I don't appreciate it.
993
00:57:03,583 --> 00:57:05,541
- Let's end this circus. Let's finish.
- All right.
994
00:57:05,541 --> 00:57:07,416
- Do you mind one last question?
- No.
995
00:57:16,875 --> 00:57:21,791
We know how your relationship began,
but where was the first time for you?
996
00:57:23,125 --> 00:57:25,166
- Sex before marriage is a sin.
- Yeah.
997
00:57:27,375 --> 00:57:29,375
So, you haven't done it?
998
00:57:30,041 --> 00:57:31,250
No, we haven't.
999
00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:36,416
- Are we done?
- Yeah!
1000
00:57:37,041 --> 00:57:38,500
The Minister is here.
1001
00:57:39,125 --> 00:57:40,708
Great.
1002
00:57:45,250 --> 00:57:46,166
Welcome back, sir.
1003
00:57:47,875 --> 00:57:49,208
Uh, your speech, sir.
1004
00:57:49,208 --> 00:57:51,916
- For the Floor?
- No, this one is for Kris's wedding.
1005
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:58,083
Darling, these are the filmmakers.
1006
00:57:58,083 --> 00:57:59,583
Take that away. Take that...
1007
00:58:00,166 --> 00:58:01,791
Just one quick question.
1008
00:58:01,791 --> 00:58:05,000
What are your hopes
for the marriage of your firstborn son?
1009
00:58:06,125 --> 00:58:07,125
Marriage.
1010
00:58:07,125 --> 00:58:11,500
First of all,
we should define what exactly it is.
1011
00:58:11,500 --> 00:58:16,833
It's a religiously consecrated bond
between two people who love each other.
1012
00:58:17,375 --> 00:58:19,750
And of course,
it's the foundation of any family.
1013
00:58:19,750 --> 00:58:22,750
Uh, and family is a sacred repository--
1014
00:58:22,750 --> 00:58:27,083
- You've got some kind of fluff here.
- Yeah. I noticed that earlier.
1015
00:58:27,083 --> 00:58:28,416
- Take care of it.
- All right.
1016
00:58:28,416 --> 00:58:30,333
- You could see that.
- It's fine. Calm down.
1017
00:58:31,416 --> 00:58:32,833
I'm sorry, Minister.
1018
00:58:33,875 --> 00:58:38,166
Marriage is the foundation family,
and family is a repository
1019
00:58:38,166 --> 00:58:41,625
of the greatest values and traditions
that our ancestors fought for,
1020
00:58:41,625 --> 00:58:44,541
so we could live free and procreate
1021
00:58:44,541 --> 00:58:49,333
for the ultimate benefit
of our most dearly beloved homeland.
1022
00:58:49,333 --> 00:58:52,708
That's why
my presidential administration will...
1023
00:58:52,708 --> 00:58:55,291
be focused on... family values.
1024
00:58:58,916 --> 00:59:00,500
All right then...
1025
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,958
We'll be welcoming distinguished guests
at exactly 5 p.m.
1026
00:59:06,083 --> 00:59:10,583
Thank you for honoring us
with, um, your presence.
1027
00:59:10,583 --> 00:59:12,125
Keep moving. Keep moving.
1028
00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:17,291
Merci de nous honorer de votre présence.
1029
00:59:18,541 --> 00:59:22,375
Grazie per onorarci con la tua presenza.
1030
00:59:22,375 --> 00:59:25,416
- Signora, tutto perfetto!
- Good, keep talking. Let's move on. Hey.
1031
00:59:25,416 --> 00:59:28,958
All right. Okay. Everyone sits down now.
1032
00:59:30,125 --> 00:59:33,333
The time is now,
wait, let's see, 6.03 p.m.
1033
00:59:33,333 --> 00:59:35,666
Time for the bridegroom's father's speech.
1034
00:59:35,666 --> 00:59:38,166
One sentence,
I think is very important...
1035
00:59:38,166 --> 00:59:40,958
All right, all right.
I'm sure it'll be beautiful and moving.
1036
00:59:40,958 --> 00:59:42,791
Everyone is totally crying now.
1037
00:59:42,791 --> 00:59:44,833
We're crying. That's right.
1038
00:59:44,833 --> 00:59:46,291
Keep crying!
1039
00:59:47,291 --> 00:59:49,083
- Did I say something funny?
- No.
1040
00:59:49,708 --> 00:59:51,583
- So, what's so funny to you?
- Nothing.
1041
00:59:51,583 --> 00:59:54,875
Lately, you've been acting...
pretty distracted, you know.
1042
00:59:54,875 --> 00:59:56,208
I'm sorry.
1043
00:59:56,208 --> 00:59:58,916
All right, the minister has finished.
1044
00:59:58,916 --> 01:00:00,541
And now, eh...
1045
01:00:01,250 --> 01:00:02,500
Applause, applause.
1046
01:00:02,500 --> 01:00:04,708
Is that what you call applause?
1047
01:00:04,708 --> 01:00:06,500
- Standing ovation.
- More!
1048
01:00:06,500 --> 01:00:10,291
Applause! Stand up! Stand up!
1049
01:00:10,291 --> 01:00:14,625
- Kosecki!
- Kosecki for President!
1050
01:00:14,625 --> 01:00:17,625
For President! For President!
1051
01:00:17,625 --> 01:00:20,458
Kosecki! Kosecki!
1052
01:00:20,458 --> 01:00:23,916
For President! For President! Kosecki!
1053
01:00:23,916 --> 01:00:26,708
Thank you. Thank you, everyone.
1054
01:00:28,250 --> 01:00:33,666
I promise you I will stand guard
and protect our true Polish families.
1055
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:37,875
We will not let our enemies
undermine Poland
1056
01:00:37,875 --> 01:00:39,791
or our traditional family values.
1057
01:00:39,791 --> 01:00:41,250
Don't make a fool of yourself.
It's a rehearsal.
1058
01:00:41,250 --> 01:00:42,458
- What?
- It's just a rehearsal.
1059
01:00:42,458 --> 01:00:44,166
- Oh.
- Where are you going?
1060
01:00:44,666 --> 01:00:49,375
Um, we're about to practice
some wedding games now.
1061
01:00:49,375 --> 01:00:51,875
- I have a government meeting to get to.
- Fuck the government!
1062
01:00:51,875 --> 01:00:55,708
When people see online you're one of them,
your polls are totally going up.
1063
01:00:57,083 --> 01:00:58,500
If you think so, sweetheart.
1064
01:00:59,083 --> 01:01:00,791
Oh, don't mess with my hair.
1065
01:01:19,250 --> 01:01:21,708
No! Stop, stop, stop, stop!
This just isn't right.
1066
01:01:21,708 --> 01:01:25,083
- What are you going on about?
- We're in here, in our grand Polish home.
1067
01:01:25,083 --> 01:01:27,625
We're not going to dance to foreign music.
1068
01:01:27,625 --> 01:01:30,375
Ah! There we go!
1069
01:02:11,666 --> 01:02:15,000
Kosecki for president!
1070
01:02:15,000 --> 01:02:16,166
He did it again.
1071
01:02:16,791 --> 01:02:18,875
He's fighting
like it's the presidential chair.
1072
01:02:18,875 --> 01:02:23,000
...for President!
Kosecki for President!
1073
01:03:01,208 --> 01:03:02,708
One, two.
1074
01:03:02,708 --> 01:03:06,083
Now, the most beautiful moment
of the entire evening.
1075
01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:11,000
I present to you the newlyweds,
Krystian and Aleksandra.
1076
01:03:11,541 --> 01:03:14,416
Um, Krystian isn't here. Sorry.
1077
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:17,166
He's out multiplying the GDP.
1078
01:03:17,166 --> 01:03:19,500
- Tomasz, could you take his place?
- Me?
1079
01:03:19,500 --> 01:03:23,541
- If you wouldn't mind.
- Uh, I'm sure I won't be as good as he is.
1080
01:03:24,125 --> 01:03:26,541
I know. Of course not,
but it's only a rehearsal.
1081
01:03:26,541 --> 01:03:28,125
All right.
1082
01:03:29,125 --> 01:03:30,041
Hold this.
1083
01:03:31,916 --> 01:03:34,125
- What now?
- Nothing. Stand there.
1084
01:03:50,125 --> 01:03:52,208
Oh, you asked for it.
1085
01:04:04,916 --> 01:04:08,291
- Do you have to suck up to her so much?
- What? Are you jealous?
1086
01:04:08,291 --> 01:04:10,291
- Are you enjoying it?
- What?
1087
01:04:10,291 --> 01:04:11,541
Being such an asshole.
1088
01:04:11,541 --> 01:04:14,166
Being an asshole is my specialty.
1089
01:04:24,166 --> 01:04:25,666
What are you-- Stop it.
1090
01:04:35,083 --> 01:04:37,833
Oh, come on, let's warm up
for your bachelorette party.
1091
01:05:04,708 --> 01:05:05,833
What is this?
1092
01:05:11,916 --> 01:05:15,375
Stop that now!
Turn it off! Turn it off right now!
1093
01:05:15,916 --> 01:05:17,375
Enough of that!
1094
01:05:17,375 --> 01:05:19,708
It's totally break time.
1095
01:05:19,708 --> 01:05:21,125
You haven't seen anything.
1096
01:05:21,125 --> 01:05:22,583
No one saw anything, okay?
1097
01:05:22,583 --> 01:05:24,666
Forget about it immediately.
1098
01:05:35,666 --> 01:05:38,041
Your mother-in-law is stalking me.
1099
01:05:50,458 --> 01:05:52,875
Well, I guess i just lost my job.
1100
01:06:05,500 --> 01:06:06,666
What are you drinking?
1101
01:06:07,250 --> 01:06:08,291
Nothing, thanks.
1102
01:06:09,083 --> 01:06:11,041
I still need to edit the footage.
1103
01:06:11,041 --> 01:06:13,541
Could you help me undo my dress first?
1104
01:06:15,291 --> 01:06:16,583
I need to lay down.
1105
01:06:17,625 --> 01:06:19,041
I don't want to wrinkle it.
1106
01:06:22,041 --> 01:06:23,500
Maybe I should call someone.
1107
01:06:24,625 --> 01:06:27,041
To unzip a dress?
1108
01:06:29,416 --> 01:06:31,250
Oh, all right.
1109
01:06:33,458 --> 01:06:34,291
Thank you.
1110
01:06:36,833 --> 01:06:38,458
You see? I don't bite.
1111
01:06:39,208 --> 01:06:40,250
Where are you going?
1112
01:06:40,875 --> 01:06:43,750
Uh, well, you said you were tired.
I don't want to bother you.
1113
01:06:43,750 --> 01:06:46,500
- Could I ask you for one more thing?
- What is it?
1114
01:06:46,500 --> 01:06:47,958
Massage my neck.
1115
01:06:48,458 --> 01:06:50,083
I'm feeling so tense.
1116
01:06:50,083 --> 01:06:52,791
Uh, yeah, I'm not a masseur though.
1117
01:06:52,791 --> 01:06:54,750
All right. What's the issue?
1118
01:06:54,750 --> 01:06:56,750
I'm only asking a tiny favor.
1119
01:06:57,750 --> 01:06:58,583
Oh, all right.
1120
01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:02,250
You don't think I'm trying
to have my way with you?
1121
01:07:02,250 --> 01:07:03,208
Well, no.
1122
01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:06,375
I would never do that to my husband.
1123
01:07:07,125 --> 01:07:09,083
He would probably have you castrated.
1124
01:07:10,083 --> 01:07:11,708
And that's just for starters.
1125
01:07:12,583 --> 01:07:13,583
Mmm.
1126
01:07:15,041 --> 01:07:15,875
You know what?
1127
01:07:17,041 --> 01:07:18,625
You really missed your calling.
1128
01:07:22,083 --> 01:07:24,291
Could you make me one more drink?
1129
01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:28,666
Oh fuck.
1130
01:07:47,333 --> 01:07:48,166
Oh, woah.
1131
01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:50,083
Patsy, what are you doing?
1132
01:07:50,083 --> 01:07:52,208
You said you dreamed about it
since you were a child.
1133
01:07:52,208 --> 01:07:53,875
- Well, yeah.
- Were you lying?
1134
01:07:53,875 --> 01:07:55,875
- No.
- Just to get the gig?
1135
01:07:55,875 --> 01:07:57,875
- No.
- Of course you didn't.
1136
01:07:58,625 --> 01:08:00,750
- Don't you want me?
- Yeah.
1137
01:08:00,750 --> 01:08:03,375
- I see it in your eyes.
- Of course.
1138
01:08:04,458 --> 01:08:06,041
Afraid you won't keep up?
1139
01:08:06,041 --> 01:08:07,125
No.
1140
01:08:07,125 --> 01:08:10,333
I promise I'll be understanding.
1141
01:08:11,250 --> 01:08:14,625
And what about your husband?
He'll castrate me.
1142
01:08:14,625 --> 01:08:16,458
He doesn't give a damn.
1143
01:08:16,958 --> 01:08:20,375
He only gets hard
thinking about being president.
1144
01:08:23,416 --> 01:08:28,916
The Divine Patsy is going to make
all of your wildest dreams come true.
1145
01:08:30,000 --> 01:08:36,708
I'm going to show you some things, baby,
that you never would have imagined.
1146
01:08:36,708 --> 01:08:38,375
Ooh.
1147
01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:46,166
Yes, Mr. Chairman?
1148
01:08:47,875 --> 01:08:49,750
That's no problem at all, sir.
1149
01:08:51,166 --> 01:08:53,625
I don't give a shit
about those legal scholars.
1150
01:08:54,750 --> 01:08:56,625
We can find dirt on anyone.
1151
01:08:58,083 --> 01:08:59,875
At your service, Mr. Chairman.
1152
01:09:01,458 --> 01:09:02,291
Moron.
1153
01:09:02,875 --> 01:09:04,291
Wait. Me first.
1154
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:06,916
Yeah.
1155
01:09:07,541 --> 01:09:10,375
- Yeah.
- I will ignite your desire.
1156
01:09:11,541 --> 01:09:12,958
Where are you going?
1157
01:09:14,458 --> 01:09:16,000
Where are you going, baby?
1158
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:18,750
I'm going to...
I'm going to ignite your passion.
1159
01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:21,375
Now where is that...
1160
01:09:21,916 --> 01:09:24,125
Uh...
1161
01:09:27,083 --> 01:09:27,958
Ah.
1162
01:09:36,875 --> 01:09:38,541
My wife, where is she?
1163
01:09:38,541 --> 01:09:39,666
- Hmm...
- The apartment?
1164
01:09:40,583 --> 01:09:42,125
You don't speak our language?
1165
01:09:42,125 --> 01:09:43,958
Fucking immigrants.
1166
01:09:53,041 --> 01:09:54,583
I'm on fire.
1167
01:09:55,666 --> 01:09:57,500
- Am I on fire?
- Yes, you are.
1168
01:09:57,500 --> 01:09:58,666
There's a fire!
1169
01:10:17,375 --> 01:10:19,791
- No! Gentlemen, no!
- Come on, man!
1170
01:10:19,791 --> 01:10:22,750
Cheers!
1171
01:10:22,750 --> 01:10:26,125
Let's have another one here.
Come on, drink, drink, drink!
1172
01:10:26,833 --> 01:10:27,916
All right. Whoo!
1173
01:10:27,916 --> 01:10:30,791
Kris's health. Kris's health!
Here, here, here.
1174
01:10:30,791 --> 01:10:33,000
- All right. Get ready.
- Come on.
1175
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:34,041
To Kris!
1176
01:10:36,041 --> 01:10:38,625
Kiss her! Kiss her! Kiss her!
1177
01:10:38,625 --> 01:10:40,250
Come on, let's have a dance!
1178
01:10:40,250 --> 01:10:42,500
Yeah!
Hey man, where are you going?
1179
01:10:43,416 --> 01:10:44,750
- Toast, toast.
- To Ola's health!
1180
01:10:44,750 --> 01:10:46,583
Yes! Here's to Oli.
1181
01:10:48,500 --> 01:10:51,750
Listen, I've been thinking
that we have to get her something old.
1182
01:10:51,750 --> 01:10:53,125
- It brings good luck.
- Definitely!
1183
01:10:53,125 --> 01:10:54,666
- A necklace.
- Necklace...
1184
01:10:54,666 --> 01:10:58,083
- Will a necklace work with her dress?
- Yes. Or maybe a ring.
1185
01:11:02,583 --> 01:11:04,708
- And what about--
- Let's go with the necklace.
1186
01:11:04,708 --> 01:11:06,833
It'll go well with it.
1187
01:11:06,833 --> 01:11:08,125
- Oh!
- Speak of the devil.
1188
01:11:08,125 --> 01:11:09,625
Just don't spill the beans.
1189
01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:11,500
Hey, girl!
1190
01:11:11,500 --> 01:11:13,458
Hi. Um, start without me.
1191
01:11:13,458 --> 01:11:17,000
I'm sorry. My grandma got sick,
but you have fun. Everything's paid for.
1192
01:11:17,000 --> 01:11:19,166
- Ola, what happened?
-Nothing.
1193
01:11:23,458 --> 01:11:24,291
Oh!
1194
01:11:26,083 --> 01:11:28,500
- Why did you come here?
- Go back to your guests.
1195
01:11:28,500 --> 01:11:31,958
- Let's not talk about it.
- Mom, I really like her.
1196
01:11:31,958 --> 01:11:34,750
Oh son, it's too late
for us to back out now.
1197
01:11:34,750 --> 01:11:37,333
No! I can't do this to her.
Why don't you understand that?
1198
01:11:37,333 --> 01:11:40,875
Don't be such a sissy!
And don't forget how high the stakes are.
1199
01:11:40,875 --> 01:11:44,250
In three days
your father is going to be president.
1200
01:11:48,166 --> 01:11:50,125
Oh, there you are! Come in.
1201
01:11:50,125 --> 01:11:51,708
- Everything okay?
- Yeah.
1202
01:11:51,708 --> 01:11:53,166
'Cause Ola called...
1203
01:11:53,166 --> 01:11:55,125
It's Ola who's not doing very well.
1204
01:11:55,125 --> 01:11:59,875
Her bachelorette party is beginning
right now, but she's here.
1205
01:11:59,875 --> 01:12:01,250
She's all alone.
1206
01:12:01,250 --> 01:12:02,416
Please help her.
1207
01:12:03,250 --> 01:12:04,500
Help her.
1208
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:07,416
I'm going to Bronek's.
1209
01:12:08,541 --> 01:12:09,750
Go. Go.
1210
01:12:09,750 --> 01:12:11,083
Talk to her.
1211
01:12:11,083 --> 01:12:12,000
Bye.
1212
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:12,958
Now, go on!
1213
01:12:13,666 --> 01:12:15,458
Oh Jesus Christ, go talk to her!
1214
01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:28,583
Are you crying?
1215
01:12:32,666 --> 01:12:34,541
I'm not crying.
1216
01:12:34,541 --> 01:12:35,958
And I didn't invite you.
1217
01:12:36,500 --> 01:12:38,416
- Why are you marrying this guy?
- Because!
1218
01:12:39,333 --> 01:12:42,125
Because he makes me feel safe,
and he accepts me for who I am.
1219
01:12:42,708 --> 01:12:44,375
- Is that all?
- Is that not enough?
1220
01:12:44,375 --> 01:12:47,250
Well...
You forgot the most important part.
1221
01:12:48,833 --> 01:12:49,916
That you love him.
1222
01:12:52,041 --> 01:12:53,375
Well, I think that's obvious.
1223
01:12:54,125 --> 01:12:54,958
Go away.
1224
01:12:55,916 --> 01:12:56,750
And so?
1225
01:12:57,541 --> 01:12:58,416
Is that it?
1226
01:12:58,416 --> 01:13:00,333
There you go. Everything's gotta end.
1227
01:13:03,083 --> 01:13:07,083
So that's the end
of our great, red-hot romance?
1228
01:13:09,041 --> 01:13:11,291
What were you even thinking, huh?
1229
01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:16,875
That you'd leave that asshole
and fall in love with me.
1230
01:13:19,416 --> 01:13:20,250
No.
1231
01:13:21,583 --> 01:13:22,416
Go away now.
1232
01:15:53,208 --> 01:15:55,375
The Argentinian rebutia that you ordered.
1233
01:15:57,750 --> 01:15:58,625
Thanks.
1234
01:16:11,625 --> 01:16:13,125
Do you live with someone?
1235
01:16:14,291 --> 01:16:15,708
Eh, with my brother.
1236
01:16:16,875 --> 01:16:20,333
- I didn't know you had a brother.
- It's almost like I don't.
1237
01:16:20,833 --> 01:16:23,791
- We were never very compatible.
- I don't believe it.
1238
01:16:23,791 --> 01:16:26,416
No, really.
We're totally different people.
1239
01:16:26,416 --> 01:16:29,125
I don't believe what you told me
last time I saw you.
1240
01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:31,875
I just...
1241
01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:36,333
I want to understand,
so please tell me the truth this time.
1242
01:16:38,875 --> 01:16:41,250
I... I've been ordained to priesthood.
1243
01:16:43,500 --> 01:16:45,500
- Oh, well, that's not a big deal.
- No!
1244
01:16:45,500 --> 01:16:47,875
I mean, it's impossible and dishonest.
1245
01:16:50,833 --> 01:16:51,666
I guess so.
1246
01:16:54,916 --> 01:16:56,625
- I better go now.
- Can I walk you home?
1247
01:16:56,625 --> 01:16:58,375
- I don't want you to.
- But...
1248
01:17:01,166 --> 01:17:02,833
Ordained to priesthood?
1249
01:17:03,958 --> 01:17:04,833
You...
1250
01:17:08,291 --> 01:17:10,625
Hey, sweetheart. Where you going?
1251
01:17:11,750 --> 01:17:13,666
- Uh...
- Little girl like you shouldn't be alone.
1252
01:17:13,666 --> 01:17:16,708
Hey, don't tell me you're afraid of us.
Take a look. We're nice guys.
1253
01:17:16,708 --> 01:17:18,625
- Leave me alone!
- How about a little ménage à trois?
1254
01:17:18,625 --> 01:17:21,333
I'll show you a ménage à trois,
you sex pervert!
1255
01:17:21,333 --> 01:17:24,541
Hey! Leave her alone,
unless you want to deal with me, huh?
1256
01:17:26,083 --> 01:17:28,750
Help us!
1257
01:17:28,750 --> 01:17:30,666
Help!
1258
01:17:30,666 --> 01:17:31,583
Let's go.
1259
01:17:31,583 --> 01:17:34,708
Are you okay? God!
1260
01:17:36,208 --> 01:17:40,333
- Does it hurt? Oh my God, you scared me.
- And who are you, miss?
1261
01:17:41,208 --> 01:17:44,458
It's me, Klara. Don't you recognize me?
1262
01:17:44,958 --> 01:17:46,125
I do.
1263
01:17:46,125 --> 01:17:47,666
And where are those guys?
1264
01:17:47,666 --> 01:17:49,583
Running away as quickly as they can.
1265
01:17:49,583 --> 01:17:52,750
Oh no, that... that means
I didn't finish kicking their butts.
1266
01:17:53,541 --> 01:17:57,166
But you know,
my entire life flashed before my eyes.
1267
01:17:57,166 --> 01:17:59,166
Flashed before your eyes? You're not okay.
1268
01:17:59,166 --> 01:18:03,375
No, it happens. It's called dilation,
you know, the bending of time and space.
1269
01:18:03,375 --> 01:18:06,708
- The theory of relativity covers all of--
- I don't understand anything.
1270
01:18:06,708 --> 01:18:08,916
What's important is
that I understood something.
1271
01:18:13,208 --> 01:18:14,750
What's going on here?
1272
01:18:15,750 --> 01:18:16,583
Is that them?
1273
01:18:17,333 --> 01:18:19,916
- Uh...
- Sex in public?
1274
01:18:20,416 --> 01:18:22,416
- Uh...
- There's a law against it.
1275
01:18:23,041 --> 01:18:24,833
Oh... we know you.
1276
01:18:24,833 --> 01:18:26,250
We know you.
1277
01:18:27,208 --> 01:18:28,041
Oh.
1278
01:18:29,333 --> 01:18:30,500
It's them again.
1279
01:18:31,583 --> 01:18:32,958
- Nah.
- Nah.
1280
01:18:47,416 --> 01:18:49,375
We're totally screwed.
1281
01:18:49,375 --> 01:18:51,791
- Kosecki is going to kill us.
- Yeah...
1282
01:18:54,250 --> 01:18:55,875
Not to mention your father.
1283
01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:58,916
How do you know about that?
1284
01:18:58,916 --> 01:18:59,833
Listen...
1285
01:19:00,416 --> 01:19:03,125
I haven't seen him in 12 years.
We moved apartments three times.
1286
01:19:03,125 --> 01:19:06,583
- I don't want anything to do with him.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey. Relax
1287
01:19:07,666 --> 01:19:08,666
I believe you.
1288
01:19:11,625 --> 01:19:12,458
Listen to me.
1289
01:19:13,916 --> 01:19:16,958
Pack your things.
I'll be back in three hours.
1290
01:19:17,833 --> 01:19:20,375
- Then we'll get the hell out of here.
- They'll get us anyway.
1291
01:19:20,875 --> 01:19:22,166
Nah.
1292
01:19:22,166 --> 01:19:23,666
I won't let anyone harm you.
1293
01:19:38,000 --> 01:19:40,000
Oh!
1294
01:19:46,416 --> 01:19:48,791
Good morning.
1295
01:19:50,875 --> 01:19:52,708
Excuse me, I gotta go.
1296
01:20:08,625 --> 01:20:10,125
Hmm.
1297
01:20:17,291 --> 01:20:18,875
Ah. Ah.
1298
01:20:18,875 --> 01:20:21,458
I'm sorry. Uh...
1299
01:20:22,416 --> 01:20:24,708
Wh-- What's so funny? Hmm?
1300
01:20:25,916 --> 01:20:27,166
Nothing.
1301
01:20:28,208 --> 01:20:29,041
What?
1302
01:20:31,375 --> 01:20:33,833
Well, you've got a shiner.
1303
01:20:34,375 --> 01:20:35,666
But it looks good on you.
1304
01:20:37,083 --> 01:20:38,416
I'm so sorry I...
1305
01:20:39,083 --> 01:20:40,458
I...
1306
01:20:40,958 --> 01:20:43,125
It was my first time.
I've never been-- Oh!
1307
01:20:43,125 --> 01:20:45,708
- Hold on!
- In a fight before.
1308
01:20:47,166 --> 01:20:49,916
- And you were trying to protect me?
- Mm-hmm.
1309
01:20:49,916 --> 01:20:51,958
Oh, my chivalrous knight.
1310
01:21:06,666 --> 01:21:08,083
No need to be afraid.
1311
01:21:09,333 --> 01:21:11,041
You'll be free after the wedding.
1312
01:21:13,583 --> 01:21:15,583
Looking at you, I see myself.
1313
01:21:15,583 --> 01:21:16,500
Yeah?
1314
01:21:17,458 --> 01:21:21,125
- So, what do we have in common then?
- A lot more than you think.
1315
01:21:21,125 --> 01:21:24,166
Back in the day, I looked... different.
1316
01:21:24,750 --> 01:21:25,916
I had a great job.
1317
01:21:26,583 --> 01:21:28,000
I had a great marriage.
1318
01:21:28,541 --> 01:21:31,833
Until my Zuzia started sleeping
with her boss.
1319
01:21:31,833 --> 01:21:34,625
I kicked her out and started drinking.
1320
01:21:35,500 --> 01:21:38,250
I was planning on killing
the both of them.
1321
01:21:38,791 --> 01:21:41,875
But then the more I wanted
the more I drank,
1322
01:21:41,875 --> 01:21:44,375
and before long, I lost my grip.
1323
01:21:45,375 --> 01:21:48,041
- What happened then?
- Time passed.
1324
01:21:48,916 --> 01:21:50,708
Then I just lived like a bum.
1325
01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:53,583
Nine years at rock bottom.
1326
01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:56,916
And then one day
my buddy took me to a job,
1327
01:21:57,916 --> 01:21:58,916
renovating a house.
1328
01:21:58,916 --> 01:22:01,041
I go with him and who do I see?
1329
01:22:01,583 --> 01:22:02,416
Zuzia.
1330
01:22:03,875 --> 01:22:04,791
My Zuzia.
1331
01:22:05,708 --> 01:22:07,791
She looked more beautiful than ever.
1332
01:22:08,500 --> 01:22:11,083
- I thought my heart would break.
- Did she see you?
1333
01:22:11,083 --> 01:22:13,041
Who notices a worker in their home?
1334
01:22:13,041 --> 01:22:15,750
I only talked to her husband,
so--
1335
01:22:15,750 --> 01:22:18,791
It was the same fucker
that she had cheated on me with.
1336
01:22:18,791 --> 01:22:19,833
So, what?
1337
01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:21,833
You get your revenge?
1338
01:22:22,375 --> 01:22:23,541
Actually, no.
1339
01:22:23,541 --> 01:22:25,208
Well, I cried for a while.
1340
01:22:26,291 --> 01:22:27,875
I could see that she was...
1341
01:22:28,500 --> 01:22:29,333
flourishing.
1342
01:22:30,500 --> 01:22:33,833
With children, a lovely house,
she was comfortable.
1343
01:22:33,833 --> 01:22:35,000
I felt such...
1344
01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:36,708
gratitude
1345
01:22:36,708 --> 01:22:40,291
to that asshole,
that he... he didn't ruin her.
1346
01:22:43,166 --> 01:22:45,041
Is there a moral to this story?
1347
01:22:46,750 --> 01:22:48,000
Leave her alone.
1348
01:22:48,000 --> 01:22:48,958
Why?
1349
01:22:48,958 --> 01:22:51,750
Because I checked you out.
You're a horndog and a brokeass.
1350
01:22:51,750 --> 01:22:54,250
- What could you give her?
- True love.
1351
01:22:55,708 --> 01:22:58,416
True love?
You have no idea what true love is.
1352
01:22:58,416 --> 01:22:59,958
Love isn't about banging.
1353
01:22:59,958 --> 01:23:01,875
It's not taking. It's giving.
1354
01:23:02,958 --> 01:23:04,291
I go back there sometimes.
1355
01:23:04,291 --> 01:23:07,166
I sit in my car and watch Zuzia
1356
01:23:07,166 --> 01:23:10,208
and cry, out of love and immense joy,
1357
01:23:10,916 --> 01:23:12,583
that I didn't fuck it up for her.
1358
01:23:18,833 --> 01:23:19,666
JAIL
1359
01:23:20,916 --> 01:23:22,833
PRESIDENT OF A BRIGHTER TOMORROW
1360
01:23:25,250 --> 01:23:27,083
- Good morning.
- Hello.
1361
01:23:40,083 --> 01:23:40,958
I'll marry him.
1362
01:23:41,583 --> 01:23:42,458
I promise.
1363
01:23:50,750 --> 01:23:51,875
You're so beautiful.
1364
01:23:57,333 --> 01:23:58,500
I begot an angel.
1365
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:01,666
- Spitting image of your mom.
- How can you even mention her?
1366
01:24:01,666 --> 01:24:03,916
You ruined her life. Mine as well.
1367
01:24:03,916 --> 01:24:05,833
You're ashamed of me,
and you're right to be.
1368
01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,416
Sadly, that was my job.
1369
01:24:08,166 --> 01:24:10,500
You were a great dad
in between your secret missions.
1370
01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:13,208
Though I never believed
in any secret missions.
1371
01:24:13,208 --> 01:24:15,458
And when I was 11,
you disappeared for good.
1372
01:24:16,125 --> 01:24:17,625
But I always watched over you.
1373
01:24:17,625 --> 01:24:18,541
How so?
1374
01:24:19,583 --> 01:24:23,041
Remember that brawler from downstairs
who ended up in the hospital?
1375
01:24:23,041 --> 01:24:26,291
That asshole from Komorów
who stalked you?
1376
01:24:26,291 --> 01:24:29,250
Or the professor
who wouldn't give you a passing grade
1377
01:24:29,250 --> 01:24:32,458
in culture studies
unless you were nice to him. You remember?
1378
01:24:39,250 --> 01:24:42,666
I never asked you for anything,
but now I'm asking you for one thing.
1379
01:24:42,666 --> 01:24:43,583
Let Tomek go.
1380
01:24:57,208 --> 01:24:59,125
Don't move.
1381
01:24:59,125 --> 01:25:01,791
I... I've got a proposition for Mr. Smyra.
1382
01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:08,041
Ow!
1383
01:25:09,291 --> 01:25:10,916
You stay right here.
1384
01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:15,250
You too.
1385
01:25:18,875 --> 01:25:21,708
- What did you give him?
- You'll see in a minute.
1386
01:25:21,708 --> 01:25:24,208
Uh, one moment. It's not my phone.
1387
01:25:26,875 --> 01:25:29,041
- Your eye?
- I fell off a horse, man.
1388
01:25:29,041 --> 01:25:30,083
What horse?
1389
01:25:30,958 --> 01:25:34,750
A white one. I charged
in my shining armor to rescue Klara.
1390
01:25:39,250 --> 01:25:40,625
Unbelievable.
1391
01:25:42,958 --> 01:25:43,791
I'm sorry, man.
1392
01:25:44,375 --> 01:25:45,250
For what?
1393
01:25:46,041 --> 01:25:47,416
For dragging you into this.
1394
01:25:49,333 --> 01:25:51,083
And for not helping you with mom.
1395
01:25:53,583 --> 01:25:55,958
- Forget about it. You were studying.
- Nah.
1396
01:25:57,500 --> 01:25:59,375
- I was scared.
- Of what?
1397
01:26:02,125 --> 01:26:03,541
Watching her fade away.
1398
01:26:08,375 --> 01:26:10,875
It was annoying
that you were the apple of her eye.
1399
01:26:15,750 --> 01:26:16,708
Get out of here.
1400
01:26:18,291 --> 01:26:20,708
Mr. Smyra has given you his blessing.
1401
01:26:26,500 --> 01:26:27,375
Slow down.
1402
01:26:27,916 --> 01:26:29,625
No! Can you slow down?
1403
01:26:29,625 --> 01:26:32,041
- How did you track me down?
- I hacked your GPS.
1404
01:26:33,625 --> 01:26:35,666
You won't even jaywalk
at a red light.
1405
01:26:36,166 --> 01:26:38,250
Yeah, but you're my brother.
1406
01:26:38,250 --> 01:26:39,416
Plus, we had a bet.
1407
01:26:39,416 --> 01:26:41,625
- You won.
- And I'm a total asshole.
1408
01:26:41,625 --> 01:26:43,166
I don't even deserve Ola.
1409
01:26:43,750 --> 01:26:47,375
Yes, that's actually true,
but they deserve her even less.
1410
01:26:47,375 --> 01:26:49,041
I've got the proof on my phone.
1411
01:26:50,333 --> 01:26:53,916
The Royal Castle in Warsaw,
the old cradle of the Piast dynasty,
1412
01:26:53,916 --> 01:26:56,875
destroyed multiple times by invaders
from what is today the European Union...
1413
01:26:56,875 --> 01:26:57,750
OUR COUNTRY TV
1414
01:26:57,750 --> 01:26:59,333
SWEDISH DELUGE
WE WON'T FORGET THE HARM
1415
01:26:59,333 --> 01:27:01,041
Today Poland will bear witness
to joyous modern history.
1416
01:27:01,041 --> 01:27:03,875
This is the family
of a true Polish patriot,
1417
01:27:03,875 --> 01:27:06,291
Minister Kosecki.
1418
01:27:12,833 --> 01:27:14,833
You can't see her right now.
It's very bad luck.
1419
01:27:14,833 --> 01:27:16,583
- Mom.
- Let's go inside.
1420
01:27:16,583 --> 01:27:18,583
Don't "mom" me. Just go inside.
1421
01:27:19,208 --> 01:27:20,041
Ignacy.
1422
01:27:27,333 --> 01:27:29,166
What's going on?
1423
01:27:29,166 --> 01:27:32,041
Please don't panic. All right?
Just breathe in deeply, all right?
1424
01:27:32,041 --> 01:27:33,625
And out. Breathe in and out.
1425
01:27:33,625 --> 01:27:36,041
Ola, are you not sure?
1426
01:27:36,875 --> 01:27:37,708
Grandma.
1427
01:27:43,708 --> 01:27:45,541
Come on, come on, come on.
1428
01:27:48,041 --> 01:27:50,166
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Watch out! Watch out!
1429
01:27:52,458 --> 01:27:53,375
DETOUR
1430
01:27:53,375 --> 01:27:56,041
{\an8}There! There, there. Thanks.
1431
01:27:59,458 --> 01:28:01,291
Move faster, ladies.
1432
01:28:01,291 --> 01:28:03,625
We are totally behind schedule.
1433
01:28:04,125 --> 01:28:05,708
- Did something happen?
- No, I just...
1434
01:28:05,708 --> 01:28:08,583
- Have you changed your mind?
- No, I have to tell you something.
1435
01:28:09,166 --> 01:28:10,833
- You don't have to.
- No, but we have to.
1436
01:28:10,833 --> 01:28:14,791
We have to trust each other, right?
We can't have any secrets from each other.
1437
01:28:15,291 --> 01:28:17,041
- Everybody has them.
- You're keeping secrets?
1438
01:28:17,041 --> 01:28:18,416
- Of course.
- Great.
1439
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:20,500
- What's going on?
- I can't move!
1440
01:28:20,500 --> 01:28:23,541
Oh! That's a bad omen! It's bad luck!
1441
01:28:24,541 --> 01:28:26,458
- You want a punch in the nose?
- Sneakers!
1442
01:28:27,375 --> 01:28:29,500
Yes! Borrowed clothing is good luck.
1443
01:28:29,500 --> 01:28:32,375
That should counteract the bad luck.
Move it! Move it!
1444
01:28:35,291 --> 01:28:38,000
- Got a signal?
- I do, but they're not picking up.
1445
01:28:38,583 --> 01:28:41,250
Well, just keep calling.
Come on, call!
1446
01:28:41,750 --> 01:28:42,916
I am calling.
1447
01:28:44,291 --> 01:28:47,041
- Still no answer.
- Well, call back again.
1448
01:28:47,041 --> 01:28:49,208
I am calling, I am.
Can't you see that?
1449
01:28:50,125 --> 01:28:51,541
Maybe it's started already?
1450
01:28:52,041 --> 01:28:53,375
Over my dead body!
1451
01:28:54,208 --> 01:28:55,291
This wedding, taking place
1452
01:28:55,291 --> 01:28:57,666
on the symbolic date
of the Baptism of Poland
1453
01:28:57,666 --> 01:29:00,583
and the last pilgrimage
for the Polish pope to his homeland,
1454
01:29:00,583 --> 01:29:03,875
will be visited
by the most important state figures.
1455
01:29:03,875 --> 01:29:06,791
The Chairman of the leading party
will be there with his cat, Bishops,
1456
01:29:06,791 --> 01:29:09,416
and wealthy CEOs
of various state-owned companies.
1457
01:29:09,416 --> 01:29:11,000
The bride and groom will also be there.
1458
01:29:30,250 --> 01:29:32,291
What? What, you wanna give up?
1459
01:29:33,875 --> 01:29:35,541
Are you giving up right now?
1460
01:29:36,250 --> 01:29:40,000
You can't! You're Tristan,
and you're wearing the shining armor.
1461
01:29:40,583 --> 01:29:43,083
Can't you see my Bucephalus
just kicked the bucket?
1462
01:29:43,083 --> 01:29:45,541
Is that gonna stop you?
1463
01:29:56,416 --> 01:29:59,000
We are joined here at the studio
by Sister Salomea,
1464
01:29:59,000 --> 01:30:01,625
a consultant
on traditional Polish weddings.
1465
01:30:01,625 --> 01:30:03,666
Sister, God bless you.
1466
01:30:03,666 --> 01:30:07,000
Um, during this wedding of the year,
as they're calling this party
1467
01:30:07,000 --> 01:30:08,541
thrown by Minister Kosecki,
1468
01:30:08,541 --> 01:30:12,375
Beyonce is going to be singing in English
the Pope's favorite song.
1469
01:30:12,916 --> 01:30:15,083
Sister, tell me,
do you think this is appropriate?
1470
01:30:15,083 --> 01:30:17,000
Shouldn't they have someone
who is singing
1471
01:30:17,000 --> 01:30:20,666
such an important Polish song
sing it in the original Polish?
1472
01:30:20,666 --> 01:30:22,125
- This is not the right time.
- What?
1473
01:30:22,125 --> 01:30:24,833
You need to give it a rest.
1474
01:30:24,833 --> 01:30:25,750
Not now!
1475
01:30:43,583 --> 01:30:47,500
Throwing a private party
in the Royal Castle, is that appropriate?
1476
01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:48,666
It's not appropriate.
1477
01:30:48,666 --> 01:30:50,583
It's making a mockery
of the Polish people.
1478
01:30:50,583 --> 01:30:54,208
Dear viewers, the arrogance
of this government knows no bounds.
1479
01:30:57,375 --> 01:30:58,875
Get rid of the drone.
1480
01:31:05,000 --> 01:31:07,791
Sir...
...how much for that piece of junk?
1481
01:31:09,083 --> 01:31:10,916
What's your offer?
1482
01:31:11,500 --> 01:31:13,500
Uh, a hundred?
1483
01:31:13,500 --> 01:31:16,208
- Not enough.
- It's not even worth half that much.
1484
01:31:16,208 --> 01:31:18,833
Market rule. Supply is subject to demand.
1485
01:31:19,500 --> 01:31:21,625
- All right, two hundred.
- Not enough.
1486
01:31:23,583 --> 01:31:25,708
Here. This is all I've got.
1487
01:31:26,541 --> 01:31:28,625
Hmm. Yeah. There.
1488
01:31:29,916 --> 01:31:31,208
Yeah.
1489
01:31:33,375 --> 01:31:35,041
GROCERY STORE
1490
01:31:35,041 --> 01:31:36,250
What the fuck?
1491
01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:38,708
- Where is my bike?
- There.
1492
01:31:41,583 --> 01:31:43,000
Hail Mary...
1493
01:31:44,375 --> 01:31:46,291
Ah!
1494
01:31:47,208 --> 01:31:48,958
...llelujah!
1495
01:31:49,666 --> 01:31:52,166
Praise the Lord and rejoice in him.
1496
01:31:54,250 --> 01:31:56,500
For on this day
1497
01:31:57,208 --> 01:32:02,250
the Lord will join
two young people together forever.
1498
01:32:16,666 --> 01:32:22,166
If I speak in the tongues
of men and of angels
1499
01:32:23,083 --> 01:32:30,083
But do not have love
1500
01:32:31,791 --> 01:32:37,583
I am only a resounding gong
1501
01:32:37,583 --> 01:32:40,958
Or a clanging cymbal
1502
01:32:42,750 --> 01:32:45,166
- Will you take me to the other shore?
- Of course.
1503
01:32:45,166 --> 01:32:47,458
- Ah, that's great.
- At 3 p.m.
1504
01:32:48,875 --> 01:32:50,875
At 3 p.m. it'll all be over.
1505
01:32:54,250 --> 01:32:55,291
Damn, my...
1506
01:32:56,083 --> 01:32:58,458
The girl I fell in love with
is getting married.
1507
01:33:10,708 --> 01:33:11,708
That'll work.
1508
01:33:16,333 --> 01:33:23,250
Know that love is
patient, love is merciful...
1509
01:33:23,833 --> 01:33:27,625
This whirlpool, can you see it?
Two lovers drowned over there, for love.
1510
01:33:29,291 --> 01:33:32,416
- And, uh, you see that tree over there?
- It's beautiful.
1511
01:33:32,416 --> 01:33:36,250
That's where the miller's daughter
and the carpenter's son hanged themselves.
1512
01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:37,416
Also for love.
1513
01:33:38,333 --> 01:33:41,041
And there,
that's where a guy hanged himself
1514
01:33:41,041 --> 01:33:43,750
after trying to drag a girl away
from the altar.
1515
01:33:43,750 --> 01:33:44,666
Super.
1516
01:33:47,333 --> 01:33:49,458
I don't know if I'd call it super, but uh...
1517
01:33:52,125 --> 01:33:54,916
Repeat the following vows after me.
1518
01:33:56,625 --> 01:33:57,875
I, Bronisław.
1519
01:34:00,833 --> 01:34:01,875
Repeat after me.
1520
01:34:02,375 --> 01:34:03,791
I, Bronisław.
1521
01:34:04,375 --> 01:34:05,208
I, Krystian.
1522
01:34:07,708 --> 01:34:09,125
- Krystian?
- Krystian.
1523
01:34:10,125 --> 01:34:11,041
Well, then repeat.
1524
01:34:11,583 --> 01:34:12,708
You, Krystian.
1525
01:34:13,625 --> 01:34:14,750
I, Krystian...
1526
01:34:15,458 --> 01:34:16,500
Agree to take...
1527
01:34:17,458 --> 01:34:20,000
- Aleksandra.
- Aleksandra, as my wife.
1528
01:34:20,000 --> 01:34:22,625
...agree to take you,
Aleksandra, as my wife.
1529
01:34:23,125 --> 01:34:25,875
- And I vow...
- To love you.
1530
01:34:25,875 --> 01:34:28,583
To love you, cherish you,
and be faithful to you.
1531
01:34:28,583 --> 01:34:33,125
And I vow to love you, cherish you,
and be faithful to you.
1532
01:34:33,833 --> 01:34:35,083
Now you repeat.
1533
01:34:37,500 --> 01:34:39,208
Hey, buddy! Buddy!
1534
01:34:39,916 --> 01:34:40,875
What a moron.
1535
01:34:42,125 --> 01:34:44,583
Uh, I, Aleksandra,
1536
01:34:45,458 --> 01:34:47,958
take you, Tomasz, uh...
1537
01:34:50,458 --> 01:34:52,333
as my wedded husband...
1538
01:34:56,916 --> 01:34:58,500
Well, Hallelujah.
1539
01:34:58,500 --> 01:35:00,000
- Hallelujah.
- Hallelujah.
1540
01:35:08,541 --> 01:35:11,041
Do you enter into holy matrimony
1541
01:35:11,041 --> 01:35:13,416
out of your own free will?
1542
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:14,333
No!
1543
01:35:26,000 --> 01:35:28,625
Now you two can go ahead and...
1544
01:35:30,625 --> 01:35:32,000
And Hallelujah.
1545
01:35:40,833 --> 01:35:42,666
No!
1546
01:35:45,458 --> 01:35:47,250
You should just tell her the truth.
1547
01:35:50,750 --> 01:35:52,375
I think I'm gonna sit down.
1548
01:35:52,958 --> 01:35:54,000
He doesn't love you.
1549
01:35:58,750 --> 01:35:59,583
I'm sorry.
1550
01:36:09,916 --> 01:36:11,291
- No!
- Oh my God!
1551
01:36:11,291 --> 01:36:13,625
Hallelujah!
1552
01:36:23,708 --> 01:36:27,291
Hey! Watch where you're driving, moron!
1553
01:36:28,750 --> 01:36:29,583
Hey!
1554
01:36:39,500 --> 01:36:40,375
Let's go!
1555
01:36:59,000 --> 01:36:59,958
I'm sending it.
1556
01:37:26,875 --> 01:37:28,083
Where'd you get that from?
1557
01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:30,083
So you knew?
1558
01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:32,666
You knew from the start.
1559
01:37:33,250 --> 01:37:34,791
Of course you did.
1560
01:37:34,791 --> 01:37:36,083
How could you make him do it?
1561
01:37:36,083 --> 01:37:38,875
How could you have done it to both of 'em?
What kind of people are you?
1562
01:37:38,875 --> 01:37:40,958
- What do you want?
-Three things.
1563
01:37:40,958 --> 01:37:43,458
First of all, there was no wedding.
1564
01:37:44,041 --> 01:37:45,250
The wedding's already over.
1565
01:37:45,250 --> 01:37:48,500
All it takes is for the priest
to not hand over the certifying documents.
1566
01:37:48,500 --> 01:37:50,375
Ugh.
1567
01:37:50,375 --> 01:37:51,333
That's fine.
1568
01:37:52,583 --> 01:37:55,000
That frump never really deserved Kris anyway.
1569
01:37:55,000 --> 01:37:57,791
Second of all, you let Smyra go.
1570
01:37:59,333 --> 01:38:00,416
Who is Smyra?
1571
01:38:00,416 --> 01:38:01,875
Ask your husband.
1572
01:38:03,833 --> 01:38:07,000
Also, Kosecki withdraws
from tomorrow's election.
1573
01:38:09,666 --> 01:38:11,041
Are you high or something?
1574
01:38:11,625 --> 01:38:12,458
But the...
1575
01:38:13,333 --> 01:38:14,625
the results are out.
1576
01:38:15,208 --> 01:38:16,666
He won. IIt's over now.
1577
01:38:16,666 --> 01:38:18,000
Oh, well...
1578
01:38:18,000 --> 01:38:21,708
The people will just have to figure out
a way to get themselves over it.
1579
01:38:22,666 --> 01:38:24,041
And the reception?
1580
01:38:24,833 --> 01:38:27,791
What about all the stuff
I totally had planned for them?
1581
01:38:34,166 --> 01:38:35,708
It's not fair!
1582
01:39:19,458 --> 01:39:20,333
Yes!
1583
01:39:20,333 --> 01:39:22,208
Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes!
1584
01:39:22,208 --> 01:39:23,833
Yes, yes, yes. Yes.
1585
01:39:27,416 --> 01:39:28,916
- Klara...
- Oh...
1586
01:39:29,666 --> 01:39:31,375
Yes. Yes!
1587
01:39:33,125 --> 01:39:34,083
Ow!
1588
01:39:41,958 --> 01:39:43,833
Please, repeat after me.
1589
01:39:43,833 --> 01:39:44,875
I, Kris...
1590
01:39:45,500 --> 01:39:46,333
I, Kris...
1591
01:39:46,333 --> 01:39:49,333
...take you, Adrian, as my wedded husband.
1592
01:39:49,875 --> 01:39:51,333
...as my wedded husband.
1593
01:39:52,125 --> 01:39:54,083
You may now kiss your husband.
1594
01:41:07,458 --> 01:41:08,875
All right.
1595
01:41:09,500 --> 01:41:12,000
Category "Weird Polish Wedding Films,"
1596
01:41:12,000 --> 01:41:14,208
the Oscar for Best Direction
goes to Kiss, Kiss.
1597
01:41:14,208 --> 01:41:15,125
That's me.
1598
01:41:15,625 --> 01:41:17,958
What are you doing, man?
Why are you pointing at me?
1599
01:41:17,958 --> 01:41:19,791
He's the one who wrecked my car.
1600
01:41:20,333 --> 01:41:22,000
Catch the bandit, man!
1601
01:41:22,708 --> 01:41:23,958
What are you looking at?
1602
01:41:23,958 --> 01:41:24,875
What?