1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:55,541 --> 00:00:58,333 ‎(本片的所有角色和情節純屬虛構) 4 00:00:58,416 --> 00:01:00,333 ‎(如有雷同,純屬巧合) 5 00:01:04,625 --> 00:01:06,666 ‎慢一點,你會害我們送命! 6 00:01:06,750 --> 00:01:07,583 ‎快點! 7 00:01:08,166 --> 00:01:10,375 ‎如果他們要我調到紐約呢? 8 00:01:10,458 --> 00:01:12,208 ‎我想去加州! 9 00:01:12,833 --> 00:01:14,416 ‎你抱怨歸抱怨,還是會接受 10 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:15,333 ‎洛杉磯! 11 00:01:15,416 --> 00:01:18,208 ‎穿拖鞋從海灘直接去辦公室有多好! 12 00:01:20,291 --> 00:01:22,458 ‎慢一點,我們還有一小時 13 00:01:33,791 --> 00:01:36,583 ‎看吧,我們提早了45分鐘 14 00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:38,750 ‎這會是公司史上最大的合約 15 00:01:38,833 --> 00:01:40,541 ‎當然了,前提是你要談成 16 00:01:40,625 --> 00:01:41,666 ‎前提? 17 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:44,333 ‎還是得讓日本人簽名才行 18 00:01:44,416 --> 00:01:45,875 ‎那只是形式而已 19 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,875 ‎他們一定會簽名 ‎而我會成為世界之王 20 00:01:54,083 --> 00:01:56,291 ‎別忘了我爸媽這週末要來 21 00:01:56,375 --> 00:01:57,500 ‎太好了 22 00:01:57,583 --> 00:02:00,666 ‎我會跟朋友出去,不打擾你們 23 00:02:00,750 --> 00:02:02,291 ‎不,他們想見你 24 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,208 ‎-我要跟他們說什麼? ‎-什麼意思? 25 00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:08,666 ‎“很高興認識你們 ‎我正在跟令千金上床” 26 00:02:09,208 --> 00:02:11,416 ‎瑪姬,我們相處得好好的 27 00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:13,000 ‎性生活也美滿 28 00:02:14,333 --> 00:02:17,000 ‎但我們從沒有過其他的承諾 29 00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:19,583 ‎好吧 30 00:02:23,833 --> 00:02:25,458 ‎-嗨 ‎-嗨 31 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,625 ‎-你好 ‎-嗨 32 00:02:27,708 --> 00:02:29,708 ‎價值數百萬的點子在那裡面嗎? 33 00:02:29,791 --> 00:02:33,916 ‎你真的升遷得很快 ‎他們會讓你當上全球營運經理 34 00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:36,583 ‎-我不想把話說得太早 ‎-湯美克! 35 00:02:36,666 --> 00:02:40,125 ‎你當上波蘭的總經理時 ‎可別忘了我們這些老同事 36 00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:41,500 ‎湯美克! 37 00:02:41,583 --> 00:02:42,916 ‎別急,一切都在掌控中 38 00:02:43,666 --> 00:02:44,625 ‎我忘了拿手機 39 00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:45,708 ‎馬上回來 40 00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:54,750 ‎我馬上就到 41 00:02:55,916 --> 00:02:57,208 ‎我也等不及了 42 00:03:02,625 --> 00:03:03,625 ‎那麼… 43 00:03:09,583 --> 00:03:10,833 ‎我再打給你,好嗎? 44 00:03:16,791 --> 00:03:18,416 ‎-天啊! ‎-我的橘子 45 00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:20,000 ‎-對不起 ‎-最棒的,當地產的 46 00:03:20,083 --> 00:03:22,958 ‎我會加果膠做成醬,一定很美味 47 00:03:23,041 --> 00:03:25,791 ‎-你也會這樣做嗎? ‎-每次都會,不好意思 48 00:03:25,875 --> 00:03:27,000 ‎沒關係 49 00:03:33,875 --> 00:03:34,708 ‎什麼? 50 00:03:34,791 --> 00:03:36,000 ‎(PI.R創意公司) 51 00:03:36,083 --> 00:03:37,708 ‎天啊,卡莎,他們已經到了 52 00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:39,750 ‎-日本人? ‎-對 53 00:03:40,458 --> 00:03:41,958 ‎什麼?提早半小時到? 54 00:03:43,208 --> 00:03:44,958 ‎別呆站在那裡,湯美克在哪? 55 00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:46,458 ‎我打給他 56 00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:28,625 ‎很高興認識你們,謝謝你們的邀請 57 00:04:37,625 --> 00:04:38,916 ‎今天真是美好的一天 58 00:04:40,250 --> 00:04:41,333 ‎今天才剛開始而已 59 00:04:42,791 --> 00:04:44,458 ‎我早就知道會很美好了 60 00:04:45,541 --> 00:04:46,625 ‎你是算命的嗎? 61 00:04:47,166 --> 00:04:48,125 ‎沒錯! 62 00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:49,750 ‎把手給我 63 00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,041 ‎來吧,我幫妳算命 64 00:04:59,041 --> 00:05:00,791 ‎今天是妳人生中最重要的一天 65 00:05:02,458 --> 00:05:04,250 ‎-對我來說也是 ‎-真的嗎? 66 00:05:04,833 --> 00:05:07,583 ‎對,我們的相遇不是巧合,而是命運 67 00:05:08,458 --> 00:05:11,000 ‎而且我今天剛好 ‎要簽人生中最大的合約 68 00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:11,916 ‎恭喜 69 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,791 ‎我會實現妳的三個願望 70 00:05:13,875 --> 00:05:16,291 ‎-哇,我現在有三個願望了? ‎-沒錯 71 00:05:17,208 --> 00:05:18,041 ‎那… 72 00:05:18,916 --> 00:05:22,541 ‎-我希望你怎麼出現,就怎麼消失 ‎-不行,妳不能這樣浪費願望 73 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:25,041 ‎-既然如此,那我希望… ‎-等等,這樣吧 74 00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:27,458 ‎許願說妳能再有一百個願望 75 00:05:27,541 --> 00:05:29,333 ‎你會讓它們全都成真?可以這樣? 76 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,208 ‎-可以 ‎-這樣的話… 77 00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,625 ‎我希望你買了票 78 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:36,583 ‎什麼? 79 00:05:41,333 --> 00:05:43,083 ‎妳好,請出示車票 80 00:05:48,166 --> 00:05:49,000 ‎要不要… 81 00:05:49,791 --> 00:05:50,625 ‎喝點水? 82 00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:53,416 ‎水? 83 00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:01,208 ‎讓我找找,你們先檢查別人 84 00:06:02,833 --> 00:06:06,333 ‎令人驚訝的是,逃票的人 ‎都沒試過要拿芝諾的運動悖論 85 00:06:06,416 --> 00:06:08,166 ‎來解釋自己為何沒買票 86 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:11,250 ‎芝諾的理論能簡單證明 ‎事物的運動是不可能發生的 87 00:06:11,333 --> 00:06:14,000 ‎公車沒在動,所以為什麼要付錢? 88 00:06:14,583 --> 00:06:16,916 ‎這就是癥結所在,總之請出示身分證 89 00:06:19,666 --> 00:06:20,541 ‎乾杯! 90 00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,541 ‎我們不喜歡訴諸武力 91 00:06:26,625 --> 00:06:28,625 ‎但不這樣做,你會聽嗎? 92 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,416 ‎我有個緊急會議 93 00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,083 ‎-我必須接這通電話 ‎-好 94 00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:35,583 ‎他趕不及開會,而且他一點都不在乎 95 00:06:35,666 --> 00:06:37,083 ‎問題解決了 96 00:06:37,166 --> 00:06:38,958 ‎-你他媽的瘋了嗎? ‎-什麼? 97 00:06:39,041 --> 00:06:40,708 ‎放開我,混蛋! 98 00:06:46,208 --> 00:06:48,291 ‎-說了妳一定不信 ‎-對,我不信 99 00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:49,708 ‎我自己也不相信 100 00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:51,416 ‎我才不管… 101 00:06:53,625 --> 00:06:55,250 ‎你是被外星人綁架 102 00:06:56,500 --> 00:06:59,041 ‎還是被性愛成癮的老奶奶 ‎或是一群童子軍擄走 103 00:07:00,750 --> 00:07:02,666 ‎我只可惜他們沒殺了你 104 00:07:05,208 --> 00:07:07,833 ‎妳應該不希望 ‎我去競爭對手的公司上班吧? 105 00:07:07,916 --> 00:07:08,958 ‎出去 106 00:07:09,583 --> 00:07:10,541 ‎他們在等… 107 00:07:10,625 --> 00:07:11,500 ‎給我滾! 108 00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:14,291 ‎不然我會把你的眼睛挖出來! 109 00:07:22,541 --> 00:07:23,500 ‎要上車嗎? 110 00:07:24,375 --> 00:07:25,958 ‎瑪姬,謝謝妳 111 00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:26,875 ‎別太感動 112 00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:29,125 ‎我只是覺得你越早搬出去越好 113 00:07:29,208 --> 00:07:30,708 ‎那妳的父母呢? 114 00:08:12,958 --> 00:08:14,166 ‎你好 115 00:08:17,791 --> 00:08:18,791 ‎你這樣跟我打招呼? 116 00:08:18,875 --> 00:08:20,125 ‎我以為你死了 117 00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:22,958 ‎-真是幽默 ‎-我們好久沒聯絡了 118 00:08:23,791 --> 00:08:25,875 ‎是啊,但你要讓我進去 119 00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:27,583 ‎還是要繼續在門口聊? 120 00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,375 ‎你是來道別的嗎? 121 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,541 ‎這裡真不錯 122 00:08:34,625 --> 00:08:35,916 ‎你要去哪裡嗎? 123 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:39,000 ‎沒有,我只是想來看看你 124 00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:42,291 ‎看著我的眼睛再說一遍 125 00:08:43,125 --> 00:08:45,000 ‎你不會相信我發生了什麼事 126 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:46,333 ‎對,我不會相信 127 00:08:46,916 --> 00:08:48,666 ‎-你會很高興的 ‎-是嗎? 128 00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:50,166 ‎我被開除了 129 00:08:50,250 --> 00:08:53,208 ‎失去了公寓、車子,現在什麼都沒有 130 00:08:53,291 --> 00:08:55,750 ‎關我屁事?就再找個地方租 131 00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,000 ‎我完全破產了 132 00:08:57,083 --> 00:08:59,666 ‎你?可是你不是賺大錢了? 133 00:08:59,750 --> 00:09:01,666 ‎你知道在華沙生活有多貴嗎? 134 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:02,583 ‎我知道 135 00:09:04,291 --> 00:09:06,041 ‎但我說的是… 136 00:09:06,666 --> 00:09:08,125 ‎文明的生活品質 137 00:09:08,208 --> 00:09:12,041 ‎所以大人您不滿意鄙人的寒舍嗎? 138 00:09:12,125 --> 00:09:14,333 ‎我不知道你來這裡做什麼 139 00:09:14,416 --> 00:09:17,583 ‎這裡就只是一間小公寓 140 00:09:17,666 --> 00:09:18,625 ‎再見 141 00:09:18,708 --> 00:09:20,666 ‎冷靜點 142 00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:21,625 ‎放輕鬆嘛 143 00:09:24,250 --> 00:09:26,125 ‎拜託,一晚就好 144 00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:30,666 ‎沙發 145 00:09:35,750 --> 00:09:37,166 ‎這張沙發還可以啊 146 00:09:46,041 --> 00:09:48,166 ‎怎麼樣,想去跑趴嗎? 147 00:09:49,625 --> 00:09:51,958 ‎-我有工作要做 ‎-別這樣,工作可以等 148 00:09:52,041 --> 00:09:53,666 ‎它就沒有等你 149 00:09:55,666 --> 00:09:57,541 ‎好嘛,你會放鬆一點 150 00:09:57,625 --> 00:10:00,750 ‎我們喝個爛醉 ‎去搭訕幾個好下手的女人 151 00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:04,500 ‎我不需要 152 00:10:05,541 --> 00:10:06,375 ‎好吧 153 00:10:07,416 --> 00:10:09,666 ‎那我可以請你幫個小忙嗎? 154 00:10:10,791 --> 00:10:13,916 ‎我就知道,你就只會得寸進尺 155 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,583 ‎只是一點小忙 156 00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:17,500 ‎駭進城市的監視器系統 157 00:10:17,583 --> 00:10:20,166 ‎找到杜瑪涅斯卡街早上的畫面 158 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:22,708 ‎我在那裡遇到了絕世美女 159 00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:26,375 ‎我不想幫你滿足你的原始衝動 160 00:10:26,458 --> 00:10:28,041 ‎我不會駭進任何地方 161 00:10:28,916 --> 00:10:30,416 ‎她可能是我的真命天女 162 00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,083 ‎最好是啦 163 00:10:32,166 --> 00:10:34,208 ‎這句話我已經聽了幾千遍 164 00:10:34,833 --> 00:10:35,791 ‎我是收藏家 165 00:10:35,875 --> 00:10:37,250 ‎女人就像花一樣 166 00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:40,833 ‎在我的注目和呵護下綻放 167 00:10:41,958 --> 00:10:43,041 ‎親愛的,花啊 168 00:10:43,875 --> 00:10:46,291 ‎就是要一整束才好看 169 00:10:47,166 --> 00:10:50,291 ‎但你當然不會知道 ‎你身邊就只有仙人掌 170 00:10:51,375 --> 00:10:52,208 ‎所以呢? 171 00:10:52,708 --> 00:10:53,791 ‎你會幫我嗎? 172 00:10:54,916 --> 00:10:56,208 ‎別再說了,老兄 173 00:10:57,041 --> 00:10:59,125 ‎天啊,你真是老古板 174 00:11:13,541 --> 00:11:14,458 ‎我知道,高斯 175 00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:16,750 ‎他明天就會走 176 00:11:17,500 --> 00:11:18,875 ‎我們會熬過去的 177 00:11:21,208 --> 00:11:22,416 ‎卡洛萊克,你好嗎? 178 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,041 ‎你知道我擅長什麼 179 00:11:27,125 --> 00:11:29,416 ‎我最近剛好有空 180 00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:33,416 ‎你最近搞出那件事之後 ‎別想在這行生存了 181 00:11:34,125 --> 00:11:35,333 ‎到底發生了什麼事? 182 00:11:35,416 --> 00:11:38,333 ‎你是怎麼在最後關頭搞砸的? 183 00:11:39,833 --> 00:11:41,416 ‎對方一定美爆了 184 00:11:42,416 --> 00:11:43,375 ‎我不是說過了嗎? 185 00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:44,875 ‎我告訴過你 186 00:11:44,958 --> 00:11:47,625 ‎你的那個弱點會把你害慘,謝謝 187 00:11:56,125 --> 00:11:57,458 ‎老兄,有菸嗎? 188 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,208 ‎我不抽菸 189 00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:02,500 ‎那你有沒有零錢? 190 00:12:04,458 --> 00:12:05,583 ‎隨便都可以 191 00:12:07,500 --> 00:12:08,416 ‎這給你 192 00:12:09,666 --> 00:12:11,541 ‎-真的嗎? ‎-請慢用 193 00:12:11,625 --> 00:12:12,500 ‎哇! 194 00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,833 ‎謝了,老兄! 195 00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,583 ‎你是個真男人 196 00:12:38,875 --> 00:12:39,833 ‎抱歉我認錯人了 197 00:12:45,916 --> 00:12:46,750 ‎邁達斯? 198 00:12:47,416 --> 00:12:48,708 ‎兄弟! 199 00:12:48,791 --> 00:12:49,833 ‎好久不見 200 00:12:49,916 --> 00:12:51,041 ‎阿湯! 201 00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:52,708 ‎-嗨 ‎-你好嗎? 202 00:12:53,333 --> 00:12:55,333 ‎就像雨中的妓女,糟透了 203 00:12:56,458 --> 00:12:58,250 ‎你有工作可以給我嗎? 204 00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:02,625 ‎我不拍電影了 ‎在波蘭辦不到,人太多了 205 00:13:02,708 --> 00:13:04,916 ‎-我要進軍好萊塢 ‎-真是不得了 206 00:13:06,125 --> 00:13:07,833 ‎請給我們兩杯伏特加 207 00:13:07,916 --> 00:13:10,041 ‎-四杯好了 ‎-八杯吧 208 00:13:14,833 --> 00:13:16,500 ‎我要拍一場婚禮 209 00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:20,166 ‎堂堂的邁達斯國王 ‎竟然淪落到要拍婚禮? 210 00:13:20,250 --> 00:13:23,833 ‎我出車禍了,酒駕肇事,所以… 211 00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:27,000 ‎是啊,好萊塢漸漸消失在遠方 212 00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,208 ‎沒錯 213 00:13:28,708 --> 00:13:29,541 ‎可是… 214 00:13:30,708 --> 00:13:32,208 ‎有人跟我談條件 215 00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:35,541 ‎如果我答應拍婚禮 ‎檢察官會把護照還給我 216 00:13:35,625 --> 00:13:37,416 ‎我該做什麼? 217 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:40,750 ‎我會動用幾台攝影機來拍 218 00:13:40,833 --> 00:13:42,916 ‎可能還會用吊車、無人機或吊臂 219 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,166 ‎塔倫提諾的風格 220 00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,916 ‎你負責拍幕後花絮 221 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,125 ‎就是拍些閒聊和幕後的對話 222 00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:53,583 ‎-不了,那不適合我 ‎-別這樣,湯美克 223 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,666 ‎這案子很好賺 ‎你也能認識有影響力的人 224 00:13:56,750 --> 00:13:58,208 ‎是誰的婚禮? 225 00:14:00,250 --> 00:14:01,375 ‎哇! 226 00:14:02,125 --> 00:14:04,666 ‎柯賽斯奇部長,最頂級的 227 00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:05,916 ‎沒錯 228 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,250 ‎整個波蘭幾乎都要聽他的 229 00:14:08,333 --> 00:14:09,666 ‎他要結婚了? 230 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,291 ‎不,是他兒子 231 00:14:11,375 --> 00:14:13,583 ‎這位是柯賽斯奇夫人 232 00:14:13,666 --> 00:14:15,458 ‎她看起來很眼熟 233 00:14:15,541 --> 00:14:16,833 ‎她以前是演員 234 00:14:16,916 --> 00:14:18,500 ‎演技很糟糕 235 00:14:18,583 --> 00:14:20,541 ‎她也很快就認清事實,嫁給了政客 236 00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:22,458 ‎敬她一杯 237 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:25,958 ‎-謝謝 ‎-謝謝 238 00:14:26,458 --> 00:14:27,500 ‎謝謝 239 00:14:57,166 --> 00:14:58,000 ‎給你 240 00:14:58,958 --> 00:14:59,791 ‎謝謝 241 00:14:59,875 --> 00:15:01,208 ‎-祝你好運 ‎-謝謝 242 00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:17,875 ‎妳好 243 00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,541 ‎你好 244 00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:23,291 ‎我拿到你訂的那株樣品了 245 00:15:23,375 --> 00:15:24,541 ‎來自玻利維亞的 246 00:15:24,625 --> 00:15:26,541 ‎松露玉? 247 00:15:29,291 --> 00:15:30,166 ‎真是… 248 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:31,250 ‎太美了 249 00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:32,166 ‎對吧? 250 00:15:32,958 --> 00:15:34,791 ‎而且好小 251 00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:38,375 ‎它需要很多光照 252 00:15:38,458 --> 00:15:39,416 ‎和溫柔呵護 253 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,166 ‎我會好好照顧它 254 00:15:42,666 --> 00:15:44,583 ‎而且它不能吹到冷風 255 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,333 ‎當然了 256 00:15:47,750 --> 00:15:49,416 ‎好,謝謝妳的建議 257 00:15:54,541 --> 00:15:56,416 ‎那斯特凡巴拿赫和… 258 00:15:57,541 --> 00:15:59,666 ‎有螺旋刺的費… 259 00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:02,250 ‎-費波那契 ‎-費波那契 260 00:16:02,333 --> 00:16:03,750 ‎-太棒了,還有… ‎-什麼? 261 00:16:03,833 --> 00:16:05,875 ‎莫比烏斯的側邊開了… 262 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,875 ‎側枝 263 00:16:07,958 --> 00:16:08,791 ‎不會吧! 264 00:16:08,875 --> 00:16:11,083 ‎它要你給它繁殖 265 00:16:13,041 --> 00:16:14,458 ‎當然是植物繁殖 266 00:16:15,375 --> 00:16:16,208 ‎當然了 267 00:16:19,708 --> 00:16:20,541 ‎保佑你 268 00:16:20,625 --> 00:16:22,750 ‎-謝謝,抱歉 ‎-你不必道歉 269 00:16:22,833 --> 00:16:24,750 ‎如果你願意,我可以幫你 270 00:16:25,416 --> 00:16:26,500 ‎幫我? 271 00:16:27,625 --> 00:16:28,708 ‎繁殖 272 00:16:30,125 --> 00:16:32,916 ‎你必須牢牢抓住莖部然後… 273 00:16:34,500 --> 00:16:35,333 ‎扯下來 274 00:16:35,416 --> 00:16:36,541 ‎扯下來? 275 00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:49,708 ‎總共170塊 276 00:16:50,208 --> 00:16:51,458 ‎我是說17塊 277 00:16:52,250 --> 00:16:53,625 ‎不,是28塊 278 00:16:56,458 --> 00:16:57,416 ‎不會吧! 279 00:16:57,916 --> 00:17:00,125 ‎真不敢相信你愛上了花店的店員 280 00:17:00,208 --> 00:17:01,375 ‎這哪裡好笑? 281 00:17:01,458 --> 00:17:04,041 ‎-你對花過敏 ‎-但對仙人掌不會 282 00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:09,583 ‎你們是不可能的 283 00:17:10,083 --> 00:17:11,166 ‎這種事我最在行了 284 00:17:11,708 --> 00:17:14,041 ‎除非我幫你,但你也得幫我 285 00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:17,458 ‎駭客是違法的 ‎再說了,我受不了寄生蟲 286 00:17:17,541 --> 00:17:21,083 ‎好吧,我會付錢 ‎雖然我只是睡在爛沙發上 287 00:17:21,166 --> 00:17:23,208 ‎-我以為你沒有錢 ‎-我是沒有啊 288 00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:24,333 ‎但我接到一個工作 289 00:17:25,416 --> 00:17:27,000 ‎而且是兩個人的工作 290 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:30,208 ‎我不知道我為什麼要幫你 ‎我跟你根本不對盤 291 00:17:31,250 --> 00:17:32,583 ‎我們能賺錢啊 292 00:17:33,291 --> 00:17:36,625 ‎身為你親愛的哥哥 ‎我會幫你追到那個女的 293 00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:37,708 ‎你喜歡的那個 294 00:17:37,791 --> 00:17:39,041 ‎她叫克拉拉 295 00:17:39,583 --> 00:17:42,875 ‎而且我不要你的建議,可悲的花心男 296 00:17:55,458 --> 00:17:56,333 ‎那麼… 297 00:17:56,416 --> 00:17:57,291 ‎你快滾吧 298 00:17:59,708 --> 00:18:00,583 ‎好吧 299 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,958 ‎我離開之前,就給你一個免費的建議 300 00:18:06,875 --> 00:18:09,541 ‎你應該在中立的地方搭訕她 301 00:18:10,875 --> 00:18:11,708 ‎像是什麼地方? 302 00:18:12,666 --> 00:18:13,791 ‎花店外面 303 00:18:15,333 --> 00:18:17,583 ‎-不,我跟你說了… ‎-我們練習一下 304 00:18:18,208 --> 00:18:20,208 ‎問她各式各樣的問題 305 00:18:20,291 --> 00:18:22,208 ‎女人喜歡別人問她們問題 306 00:18:22,291 --> 00:18:23,416 ‎像是什麼? 307 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,500 ‎任何事情 308 00:18:25,625 --> 00:18:27,291 ‎你是克拉拉,我來演你 309 00:18:29,291 --> 00:18:30,833 ‎你好,美人兒克拉拉 310 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:33,375 ‎嗨,寶貝,你好嗎? 311 00:18:34,625 --> 00:18:38,958 ‎抱歉我上次匆忙跑出去,忘了付錢 312 00:18:43,625 --> 00:18:44,500 ‎幹… 313 00:18:56,541 --> 00:18:57,375 ‎妳好 314 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:00,500 ‎美人兒克拉拉 315 00:19:03,333 --> 00:19:04,416 ‎你撞到頭了 316 00:19:05,083 --> 00:19:06,166 ‎我是說,克拉拉小姐 317 00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:08,166 ‎抱歉,我… 318 00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,416 ‎上次突然… 319 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:11,875 ‎-沒付錢 ‎-不,沒關係 320 00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:15,666 ‎我只是想說,不知道妳… 321 00:19:15,750 --> 00:19:16,708 ‎什麼事? 322 00:19:17,208 --> 00:19:18,541 ‎我只是… 323 00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,750 ‎那個,我想說… 324 00:19:20,833 --> 00:19:21,958 ‎什麼事,雅奈克先生? 325 00:19:22,041 --> 00:19:24,291 ‎我想說也許可以… 326 00:19:24,375 --> 00:19:26,625 ‎我是說,妳跟我可以… 327 00:19:28,541 --> 00:19:29,375 ‎去別的地方 328 00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:33,291 ‎我正要去銀行,你要不要陪我去? 329 00:19:38,708 --> 00:19:40,166 ‎新買的那株怎麼樣了? 330 00:19:40,250 --> 00:19:41,083 ‎萊布尼茨? 331 00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:42,791 ‎名字真有趣 332 00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:45,750 ‎-又是過世的數學家? ‎-對 333 00:19:47,791 --> 00:19:49,750 ‎我把它放在居禮夫人旁邊 334 00:19:49,833 --> 00:19:52,750 ‎你知道它們可以被嫁接在一起嗎? 335 00:19:52,833 --> 00:19:54,416 ‎嫁接? 336 00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:55,958 ‎怎麼做? 337 00:19:56,041 --> 00:19:59,750 ‎把居禮夫人切一個洞 ‎然後把小萊布尼茨插進去 338 00:20:01,583 --> 00:20:02,541 ‎用什麼插? 339 00:20:05,708 --> 00:20:08,333 ‎如果你想,我們能在花店一起做 340 00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:09,250 ‎好啊 341 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:12,083 ‎我們別那麼客氣了 ‎我重新自我介紹,叫我克拉拉吧 342 00:20:12,166 --> 00:20:14,208 ‎-拉夫…我是雅奈克 ‎-好 343 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:19,583 ‎三次 344 00:20:23,291 --> 00:20:24,833 ‎我們要不要去別的地方? 345 00:20:26,541 --> 00:20:27,875 ‎你是說要一起嗎? 346 00:20:28,916 --> 00:20:30,000 ‎去哪裡? 347 00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:31,000 ‎這個嘛… 348 00:20:32,375 --> 00:20:33,250 ‎哪裡都可以 349 00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:36,375 ‎去買咖啡和奶油卷 350 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:41,333 ‎抱歉 351 00:20:43,208 --> 00:20:45,541 ‎-去看電影,去公園… ‎-這不是個好主意 352 00:20:47,458 --> 00:20:48,708 ‎我知道這樣… 353 00:20:49,458 --> 00:20:52,125 ‎太快了,但我從來沒有… 354 00:20:52,208 --> 00:20:54,083 ‎不是你的問題,雅奈克 355 00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:55,416 ‎是我的問題 356 00:20:56,458 --> 00:20:59,250 ‎-我不適合你 ‎-我知道了 357 00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:03,208 ‎對不起,我不會再打擾妳了 358 00:21:03,291 --> 00:21:04,291 ‎請多保重 359 00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:21,791 ‎(琥珀宮殿飯店) 360 00:21:34,875 --> 00:21:37,083 ‎距離婚禮整個還有一週 361 00:21:37,166 --> 00:21:38,916 ‎我不允許有任何改變 362 00:21:39,416 --> 00:21:42,625 ‎我弟和我在拍幕後花絮 363 00:21:42,708 --> 00:21:45,125 ‎真正的婚禮會由邁達斯拍攝 364 00:21:45,208 --> 00:21:48,916 ‎邁達斯碰過的東西都會變成… ‎我會好好跟他談談 365 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,250 ‎拜託不要這麼做 366 00:21:50,750 --> 00:21:52,000 ‎都是我的錯 367 00:21:52,916 --> 00:21:54,666 ‎身為人就得為幸福而戰 368 00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:56,833 ‎就像邪教經典電影 ‎《為幸福而戰》的劇情 369 00:21:58,916 --> 00:22:01,083 ‎你看過《為幸福而戰》嗎? 370 00:22:01,166 --> 00:22:04,000 ‎-這是我最喜歡的電影 ‎-但那是很久以前的事了 371 00:22:04,083 --> 00:22:06,416 ‎妳的電影我全部倒背如流 372 00:22:06,500 --> 00:22:07,625 ‎全部? 373 00:22:07,708 --> 00:22:08,541 ‎也就兩部 374 00:22:09,125 --> 00:22:11,458 ‎但妳在《大小胸器》裡的表現… 375 00:22:13,875 --> 00:22:18,250 ‎波蘭影史後來就再也沒出現過 ‎跟妳一樣有性魅力的明星了 376 00:22:18,958 --> 00:22:20,750 ‎妳必須回歸大銀幕 377 00:22:21,250 --> 00:22:22,166 ‎為了我們 378 00:22:22,250 --> 00:22:23,625 ‎為了所有波蘭人民 379 00:22:27,083 --> 00:22:30,208 ‎但觀眾會再愛我嗎? 380 00:22:30,291 --> 00:22:31,166 ‎當然 381 00:22:31,958 --> 00:22:34,500 ‎他們以前甚至說我可以進軍好萊塢 382 00:22:34,583 --> 00:22:35,625 ‎但現在… 383 00:22:35,708 --> 00:22:37,416 ‎妳美極了 384 00:22:37,500 --> 00:22:38,916 ‎妳是絕世大美女 385 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:39,833 ‎美艷動人! 386 00:22:41,416 --> 00:22:45,000 ‎終於有個聰明人了 ‎湯瑪斯?那是你的本名嗎? 387 00:22:45,083 --> 00:22:47,791 ‎-對 ‎-叫我派希就好 388 00:22:51,583 --> 00:22:52,458 ‎在這裡簽名 389 00:22:52,958 --> 00:22:54,916 ‎歡迎你們加入! 390 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:56,125 ‎這是什麼? 391 00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,875 ‎保密協議 392 00:22:57,958 --> 00:23:01,000 ‎你在這裡看到的絕對是最高機密 393 00:23:01,083 --> 00:23:03,208 ‎要是你告訴任何人,我丈夫… 394 00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:05,583 ‎你知道我丈夫是誰吧? 395 00:23:07,083 --> 00:23:08,041 ‎沒錯 396 00:23:08,583 --> 00:23:10,500 ‎他把人抓去關的時候… 397 00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:12,125 ‎我整個不希望有人遭遇那種事 398 00:23:12,208 --> 00:23:13,500 ‎那好吧 399 00:23:14,291 --> 00:23:16,666 ‎還有你!你是啞巴嗎?幹嘛不說話? 400 00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:19,166 ‎他有點遲緩,別擔心他 401 00:23:23,458 --> 00:23:24,958 ‎我媳婦會待在這裡 402 00:23:25,041 --> 00:23:27,416 ‎我是說我未來的媳婦會待在這裡 403 00:23:28,166 --> 00:23:29,750 ‎不好意思,喂? 404 00:23:30,750 --> 00:23:31,583 ‎喂? 405 00:23:39,583 --> 00:23:40,416 ‎嗨 406 00:23:43,208 --> 00:23:44,041 ‎我是歐拉 407 00:23:45,375 --> 00:23:46,208 ‎湯美克 408 00:23:49,083 --> 00:23:49,958 ‎很美的名字 409 00:23:51,208 --> 00:23:53,541 ‎妳全身上下都美 410 00:23:54,416 --> 00:23:56,041 ‎妳要結婚了? 411 00:23:56,125 --> 00:23:56,958 ‎沒錯 412 00:23:58,000 --> 00:23:59,291 ‎我很遺憾 413 00:24:02,666 --> 00:24:03,500 ‎那是什麼? 414 00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:08,833 ‎你在做什麼? 415 00:24:08,916 --> 00:24:10,833 ‎靠,我在公車上看到妳的時候就… 416 00:24:10,916 --> 00:24:12,208 ‎妳能相信嗎? 417 00:24:12,291 --> 00:24:13,708 ‎現在妳就在這裡 418 00:24:13,791 --> 00:24:15,708 ‎我想看看我們會有什麼結果 419 00:24:17,125 --> 00:24:17,958 ‎現在你知道了 420 00:24:20,958 --> 00:24:21,791 ‎好吧 421 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:23,166 ‎對不起 422 00:24:24,208 --> 00:24:25,500 ‎我們可以重新來過嗎? 423 00:24:26,083 --> 00:24:28,500 ‎-笨蛋 ‎-懶惰鬼、浪子、無賴 424 00:24:29,291 --> 00:24:30,791 ‎你在笑什麼? 425 00:24:31,458 --> 00:24:34,083 ‎轟轟烈烈的愛情故事就是這樣開始的 426 00:24:34,166 --> 00:24:35,041 ‎所以呢? 427 00:24:36,916 --> 00:24:37,875 ‎我們開始工作吧 428 00:24:40,916 --> 00:24:43,708 ‎對,我們要開始工作了 429 00:24:50,666 --> 00:24:52,416 ‎可惡 430 00:25:03,666 --> 00:25:06,916 ‎不好意思,你還要自怨自艾多久? 431 00:25:08,333 --> 00:25:09,458 ‎為她拚一把 432 00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,625 ‎為幸福而戰 433 00:25:12,333 --> 00:25:15,208 ‎-她拒絕了我 ‎-胡說八道,我看到她看你的眼神 434 00:25:15,291 --> 00:25:17,375 ‎-怎麼樣? ‎-跟你看她的方式一樣 435 00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:23,500 ‎但她說我們不適合彼此 ‎還說這不是好主意 436 00:25:23,583 --> 00:25:24,500 ‎聽我說 437 00:25:24,583 --> 00:25:27,708 ‎你這麼聰明,卻像小嬰兒一樣單純 438 00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,208 ‎這都是遊戲的一部分 439 00:25:31,708 --> 00:25:32,625 ‎什麼遊戲? 440 00:25:32,708 --> 00:25:33,916 ‎征服遊戲 441 00:25:35,625 --> 00:25:38,750 ‎你很有男人味,她很難追,雙贏 442 00:25:38,833 --> 00:25:41,000 ‎所以歐拉賞你巴掌 443 00:25:41,083 --> 00:25:42,250 ‎是為了征服你? 444 00:25:42,833 --> 00:25:44,416 ‎一點都沒錯 445 00:25:45,500 --> 00:25:46,916 ‎她要結婚了 446 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:48,916 ‎我不能歧視已婚女性啊 447 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,041 ‎這樣很糟糕耶 448 00:25:53,250 --> 00:25:54,791 ‎歐拉會是我的 449 00:25:55,375 --> 00:25:56,583 ‎你做夢比較快 450 00:25:56,666 --> 00:25:58,416 ‎-想打賭嗎? ‎-來賭吧 451 00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,375 ‎這個菜單必須整個換掉 452 00:26:02,458 --> 00:26:04,458 ‎有30位客人對貝類過敏 453 00:26:04,541 --> 00:26:08,291 ‎40位堅果過敏、16位柑橘類過敏 ‎200位麩質和奶類過敏 454 00:26:08,375 --> 00:26:09,625 ‎加入金箔吧 455 00:26:09,708 --> 00:26:11,750 ‎沒有人對黃金過敏,餐具呢? 456 00:26:11,833 --> 00:26:14,083 ‎這是保險公司的帳單 457 00:26:15,375 --> 00:26:16,208 ‎還不錯 458 00:26:16,291 --> 00:26:18,208 ‎餐具用黃金的 459 00:26:18,291 --> 00:26:21,666 ‎就像梅蘭妮亞川普用的那樣 ‎大家都說我跟她長得很像 460 00:26:22,166 --> 00:26:24,541 ‎梅蘭妮亞頂多只配幫妳洗碗 461 00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:26,041 ‎妳真是太美了,派希 462 00:26:29,208 --> 00:26:30,125 ‎我會… 463 00:26:33,375 --> 00:26:34,833 ‎全體注意! 464 00:26:34,916 --> 00:26:35,875 ‎這是什麼鬼? 465 00:26:35,958 --> 00:26:38,708 ‎-通通都不對,假髮在哪裡? ‎-在路上 466 00:26:38,791 --> 00:26:40,208 ‎-緊身褲呢? ‎-一樣 467 00:26:40,291 --> 00:26:41,250 ‎往下拉 468 00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:42,166 ‎刮鬍子 469 00:26:42,250 --> 00:26:43,083 ‎笑一個 470 00:26:43,166 --> 00:26:44,291 ‎不,最好不要 471 00:26:46,458 --> 00:26:47,583 ‎就定位! 472 00:26:48,750 --> 00:26:50,750 ‎右轉! 473 00:26:51,750 --> 00:26:53,958 ‎開始行動! 474 00:26:55,083 --> 00:26:57,125 ‎動作快,各位先生,快點! 475 00:26:57,208 --> 00:26:59,208 ‎姿勢擺好,背挺直! 476 00:26:59,791 --> 00:27:02,291 ‎還有請保持距離 477 00:27:02,375 --> 00:27:04,375 ‎所以這是一場服裝派對,對吧? 478 00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:05,708 ‎別傻了 479 00:27:06,416 --> 00:27:08,125 ‎這是我們的彩排空間 480 00:27:08,666 --> 00:27:11,791 ‎婚禮將在皇家城堡舉行 481 00:27:13,333 --> 00:27:16,333 ‎但那絕對是最高機密 482 00:27:16,416 --> 00:27:17,375 ‎-哇 ‎-哇! 483 00:27:17,958 --> 00:27:18,791 ‎所以… 484 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,583 ‎這場婚禮 485 00:27:23,666 --> 00:27:26,916 ‎以第一波蘭聯邦的精髓為靈感 486 00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:30,625 ‎並由庫巴沃耶沃茲擔任主持 ‎確保整個儀式的氣氛良好 487 00:27:30,708 --> 00:27:35,583 ‎紅髮艾德、碧昂絲 ‎和澤尼瑪蒂紐克會輪番唱歌 488 00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,541 ‎把那坨毛毯移開 489 00:27:37,625 --> 00:27:38,750 ‎午夜的時候 490 00:27:39,375 --> 00:27:43,291 ‎會有數百支煙火照亮華沙的天空 491 00:27:43,375 --> 00:27:44,625 ‎哇! 492 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,333 ‎黨主席會親自出席 493 00:27:48,416 --> 00:27:51,583 ‎當然還有總統和第一夫人 494 00:27:51,666 --> 00:27:54,375 ‎以及政府官員和很多外國貴賓 495 00:27:54,458 --> 00:27:57,416 ‎-總共一千名來賓 ‎-肯定所費不貲 496 00:27:57,500 --> 00:28:01,250 ‎我丈夫從危機應對基金拿到專款 497 00:28:01,333 --> 00:28:03,208 ‎我們的小王子 498 00:28:04,458 --> 00:28:05,333 ‎將會有… 499 00:28:06,458 --> 00:28:09,708 ‎本國前所未見的盛大婚禮 500 00:28:09,791 --> 00:28:12,041 ‎但當然這絕對是… 501 00:28:12,125 --> 00:28:13,666 ‎-最高機密 ‎-最高機密 502 00:28:14,666 --> 00:28:15,791 ‎所以… 503 00:28:16,541 --> 00:28:18,916 ‎我兒子的婚禮是星期六 504 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,875 ‎而星期天是我丈夫的選舉 505 00:28:21,958 --> 00:28:24,666 ‎計劃得很不錯吧? 506 00:28:24,750 --> 00:28:25,916 ‎幹! 507 00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:27,250 ‎你瘋了嗎? 508 00:28:27,916 --> 00:28:31,333 ‎帕茲拉布尼議員 ‎和蘇珊娜皮薩納參議員同桌? 509 00:28:31,416 --> 00:28:33,875 ‎-我立刻換位子 ‎-那整個會慘不忍睹 510 00:28:33,958 --> 00:28:36,583 ‎-別拍了,不要拍這種事 ‎-我很抱歉 511 00:28:38,916 --> 00:28:39,916 ‎氣球呢? 512 00:28:40,791 --> 00:28:42,375 ‎氣球到底死到哪去了? 513 00:28:42,875 --> 00:28:45,416 ‎大廳的天花板畫是巴恰雷利的作品 514 00:28:45,500 --> 00:28:47,708 ‎那是傑作,氣球… 515 00:28:47,791 --> 00:28:49,291 ‎放氣球比較好看吧,歐拉? 516 00:28:49,375 --> 00:28:52,291 ‎-亞歷珊德拉! ‎-什麼?對,放氣球比較好看 517 00:28:52,875 --> 00:28:54,333 ‎小克打來了,親愛的,喂? 518 00:28:54,916 --> 00:28:57,125 ‎我也很想你,一切都在掌控之中 519 00:28:57,750 --> 00:28:59,541 ‎我很努力,但她快把我逼瘋了 520 00:28:59,625 --> 00:29:00,625 ‎派希夫人 521 00:29:01,791 --> 00:29:03,666 ‎-這是視覺模擬 ‎-放氣球會更好看 522 00:29:03,750 --> 00:29:06,250 ‎-你有在拍嗎,湯美克先生? ‎-對,我正在拍 523 00:29:06,333 --> 00:29:08,958 ‎效果一定要好一點,處理好 524 00:29:09,041 --> 00:29:10,625 ‎-總之氣球的效果很好 ‎-是,夫人 525 00:29:42,500 --> 00:29:44,416 ‎-你在拍嗎? ‎-對 526 00:29:45,083 --> 00:29:45,916 ‎準備好了嗎? 527 00:29:46,791 --> 00:29:50,541 ‎好了,請聊聊妳未來的媳婦 528 00:29:51,250 --> 00:29:53,041 ‎我希望亞歷珊德拉 529 00:29:53,125 --> 00:29:55,666 ‎能成為我兒子的好妻子 530 00:29:55,750 --> 00:29:57,166 ‎畢竟他選擇了她 531 00:29:57,250 --> 00:30:00,458 ‎克里斯廷一向很有品味 ‎整個就愛奢華的東西 532 00:30:00,541 --> 00:30:02,166 ‎就連他當輔祭男童的時候… 533 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:03,583 ‎不好意思 534 00:30:03,666 --> 00:30:04,750 ‎喂? 535 00:30:04,833 --> 00:30:06,333 ‎怎麼還沒送來? 536 00:30:08,291 --> 00:30:09,875 ‎等等… 537 00:30:09,958 --> 00:30:11,833 ‎她沒說太多妳的事情 538 00:30:12,541 --> 00:30:15,125 ‎-妳何不自己告訴我們? ‎-不了 539 00:30:16,458 --> 00:30:18,708 ‎拜託,別這樣,妳讓我很難做事 540 00:30:18,791 --> 00:30:20,833 ‎隨便都好,妳家人的事情之類的 541 00:30:20,916 --> 00:30:22,708 ‎我是孤兒,我外婆把我養大 542 00:30:24,458 --> 00:30:25,416 ‎就這樣? 543 00:30:25,500 --> 00:30:26,583 ‎對 544 00:30:26,666 --> 00:30:27,500 ‎好吧 545 00:30:28,208 --> 00:30:32,375 ‎這場盛大的婚禮上 ‎女方親友總共有幾個人? 546 00:30:32,458 --> 00:30:33,958 ‎外婆和兩個伴娘 547 00:30:34,541 --> 00:30:36,333 ‎只有三個人?一千分之三? 548 00:30:41,416 --> 00:30:42,541 ‎請看鏡頭 549 00:30:44,625 --> 00:30:45,458 ‎好了 550 00:30:51,041 --> 00:30:52,625 ‎我想更了解妳一點 551 00:30:53,208 --> 00:30:55,708 ‎多跟我說一些妳的事吧 552 00:30:56,375 --> 00:30:58,625 ‎我查了臉書和IG,但都找不到妳 553 00:30:58,708 --> 00:31:00,375 ‎妳是間諜之類的嗎? 554 00:31:00,458 --> 00:31:01,708 ‎我是學生 555 00:31:01,791 --> 00:31:03,375 ‎好,妳在念什麼? 556 00:31:03,458 --> 00:31:04,458 ‎羅曼學 557 00:31:05,583 --> 00:31:06,416 ‎哪一年? 558 00:31:06,916 --> 00:31:08,291 ‎我在寫我的碩士論文 559 00:31:08,375 --> 00:31:09,375 ‎內容是什麼? 560 00:31:09,458 --> 00:31:10,666 ‎關於宮廷愛情的 561 00:31:10,750 --> 00:31:12,291 ‎關於宮廷愛情? 562 00:31:12,375 --> 00:31:15,416 ‎宮廷愛情是我們現在所說的 ‎轟轟烈烈戀愛的原型 563 00:31:15,500 --> 00:31:17,500 ‎瘋狂激情、與天下為敵的那種愛情 564 00:31:17,583 --> 00:31:19,666 ‎你一定覺得很荒謬 565 00:31:19,750 --> 00:31:22,083 ‎妳真的知道激情是什麼嗎? 566 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,333 ‎多說一點,引用一段 567 00:31:26,416 --> 00:31:30,583 ‎“大人們,請聽我說一段 ‎關於愛與死亡、荒誕不經的故事…” 568 00:31:30,666 --> 00:31:32,458 ‎-《崔斯坦與伊索德》 ‎-你看過? 569 00:31:32,541 --> 00:31:36,666 ‎“聽聽他們的大喜與大悲…” 570 00:31:36,750 --> 00:31:38,875 ‎“他們相識相愛,最後共死” 571 00:31:38,958 --> 00:31:41,791 ‎-“在那一天” ‎-“她與他一起永眠” 572 00:31:44,041 --> 00:31:45,250 ‎這是什麼意思? 573 00:31:45,333 --> 00:31:46,458 ‎愛與死亡 574 00:31:47,166 --> 00:31:49,500 ‎好,你沒有要剪接的東西嗎? 575 00:31:49,583 --> 00:31:51,500 ‎-像什麼? ‎-去檢查影片 576 00:31:51,583 --> 00:31:53,583 ‎-愛與死亡 ‎-愛與死亡 577 00:31:55,250 --> 00:31:57,916 ‎好,愛與死亡,接下來呢? 578 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,833 ‎唯一讓人感動的愛情 ‎就是牽涉到死亡的愛情 579 00:32:00,916 --> 00:32:03,333 ‎冒險刺激、驚心動魄的愛情 580 00:32:03,416 --> 00:32:05,958 ‎還有無視所有規則的那種愛情 581 00:32:13,666 --> 00:32:14,958 ‎拉我一把,笨蛋 582 00:32:16,041 --> 00:32:16,875 ‎快點! 583 00:32:37,291 --> 00:32:38,375 ‎什麼叫早一點下訂? 584 00:32:39,041 --> 00:32:40,125 ‎我的花? 585 00:32:40,666 --> 00:32:42,625 ‎第一彌撒什麼的關我屁事? 586 00:32:43,333 --> 00:32:44,166 ‎誰的兒子? 587 00:32:45,833 --> 00:32:46,666 ‎我明白 588 00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:49,166 ‎大教堂裡放百合花比較好看 589 00:32:49,250 --> 00:32:52,958 ‎山茶花是我的,他媽的馬上送過來 590 00:32:55,833 --> 00:32:59,708 ‎我平常很隨和 ‎但有時候我會整個氣到爆… 591 00:32:59,791 --> 00:33:02,583 ‎我知道一間很棒的花店,價格很便宜 592 00:33:02,666 --> 00:33:03,708 ‎價格便宜… 593 00:33:04,583 --> 00:33:05,875 ‎亞歷珊德拉,妳怎麼了? 594 00:33:06,375 --> 00:33:08,416 ‎妳的臉好紅,去吃藥 595 00:33:08,500 --> 00:33:11,541 ‎我不希望妳感染病毒,毀了婚禮 596 00:33:17,916 --> 00:33:19,916 ‎-你在做什麼? ‎-不是我 597 00:33:23,125 --> 00:33:25,833 ‎妳親愛的婆婆 598 00:33:26,541 --> 00:33:27,625 ‎很刁難妳嗎? 599 00:33:27,708 --> 00:33:30,500 ‎她對每個人都大吼大叫 ‎當我是家具,把我推來推去 600 00:33:30,583 --> 00:33:33,833 ‎她之前還要我去整鼻子 ‎只是會來不及癒合 601 00:33:35,875 --> 00:33:38,000 ‎-那小克呢? ‎-還在杜拜 602 00:33:38,083 --> 00:33:39,625 ‎他應該回來陪著妳的 603 00:33:39,708 --> 00:33:41,000 ‎他知道他媽媽有多在乎 604 00:33:41,083 --> 00:33:42,625 ‎既然一切都是她付錢… 605 00:33:42,708 --> 00:33:44,666 ‎我可是付了婚紗的錢 606 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:47,666 ‎喝一杯吧,孩子 607 00:33:50,333 --> 00:33:52,375 ‎但我成功爭取到我要的婚禮 608 00:33:52,458 --> 00:33:54,375 ‎安靜、簡單、正常就好 609 00:33:54,458 --> 00:33:57,666 ‎歐拉,妳到底是怎麼了? 610 00:33:58,333 --> 00:34:02,791 ‎妳應該開心得蹦蹦跳才對 611 00:34:02,875 --> 00:34:04,833 ‎結果卻一臉擔心 612 00:34:04,916 --> 00:34:06,458 ‎而且看起來很虛弱 613 00:34:06,541 --> 00:34:08,041 ‎有些人的愛情就是這樣 614 00:34:08,125 --> 00:34:09,666 ‎胡說八道 615 00:34:10,458 --> 00:34:11,875 ‎我結婚的時候啊… 616 00:34:11,958 --> 00:34:14,458 ‎外婆,妳那個並不是模範婚姻 617 00:34:14,541 --> 00:34:16,750 ‎哪一段?跟史蒂芬的? 618 00:34:16,833 --> 00:34:19,000 ‎我們為彼此瘋狂 619 00:34:19,083 --> 00:34:20,625 ‎我不想聽 620 00:34:20,708 --> 00:34:24,666 ‎我們只有在肚子餓的時候才會下床 621 00:34:24,750 --> 00:34:26,708 ‎我們之間充滿火花 622 00:34:26,791 --> 00:34:27,750 ‎火花啊! 623 00:34:29,083 --> 00:34:31,000 ‎但現在最重要的是 624 00:34:31,583 --> 00:34:35,291 ‎妳最終要獲得幸福啊 625 00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:37,666 ‎我很幸福,小克總是讓我的願望成真 626 00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:38,666 ‎那有火花嗎? 627 00:34:38,750 --> 00:34:39,583 ‎什麼? 628 00:34:39,666 --> 00:34:43,375 ‎還問什麼,就是有沒有火花啊 629 00:34:46,166 --> 00:34:48,916 ‎哇,宮廷愛情其實還不錯耶 630 00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:51,458 ‎動不動就三人行 631 00:34:52,208 --> 00:34:55,500 ‎公主背叛國王,跟性感的騎士偷情 632 00:34:55,583 --> 00:34:57,458 ‎這樣才對嘛! 633 00:34:58,666 --> 00:35:00,125 ‎以前在學校怎麼沒念這個? 634 00:35:00,208 --> 00:35:01,750 ‎不管什麼事,你的重點 635 00:35:02,708 --> 00:35:05,333 ‎就只有一個 ‎把一切都簡化到只剩下性 636 00:35:06,666 --> 00:35:07,500 ‎聽著 637 00:35:08,083 --> 00:35:10,083 ‎我知道你不需要我的建議 638 00:35:10,583 --> 00:35:11,416 ‎但也許你需要? 639 00:35:24,625 --> 00:35:26,416 ‎那件很適合萬聖節 640 00:35:38,708 --> 00:35:40,000 ‎不好看 641 00:35:46,125 --> 00:35:48,041 ‎這件看起來還不錯 642 00:35:50,250 --> 00:35:51,500 ‎不要駝背就好 643 00:35:52,250 --> 00:35:53,916 ‎姿勢很重要,展現你的態度 644 00:35:55,125 --> 00:35:56,333 ‎什麼態度? 645 00:35:56,833 --> 00:35:58,083 ‎一派輕鬆 646 00:35:58,166 --> 00:35:59,458 ‎展現自信 647 00:36:00,250 --> 00:36:02,333 ‎她必須知道一切由你做主 648 00:36:02,875 --> 00:36:04,583 ‎我才不要做主 649 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:09,708 ‎有時候我真的覺得你有點笨 650 00:36:10,791 --> 00:36:11,708 ‎肢體語言 651 00:36:11,791 --> 00:36:13,666 ‎好好運用,發出聲音和信號 652 00:36:13,750 --> 00:36:15,166 ‎-好啦 ‎-女孩子很喜歡 653 00:36:16,458 --> 00:36:17,291 ‎好 654 00:36:18,875 --> 00:36:20,125 ‎我以你為榮 655 00:36:20,875 --> 00:36:22,541 ‎現在你可以隨便撿了 656 00:36:23,416 --> 00:36:25,916 ‎我說過了,我沒有要隨便撿 657 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,458 ‎我愛克拉拉,我不會背叛她 658 00:36:28,541 --> 00:36:30,083 ‎我不是要你背叛她 659 00:36:30,750 --> 00:36:33,541 ‎只是讓她有點嫉妒就好 660 00:36:33,625 --> 00:36:36,125 ‎這是一種強大的春藥,老兄 661 00:36:36,208 --> 00:36:37,166 ‎你該感謝我 662 00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:39,333 ‎這是無價的知識,免費送你 663 00:36:39,416 --> 00:36:43,125 ‎我要跟你說幾次? ‎我不需要你的愚蠢建議 664 00:36:45,166 --> 00:36:47,458 ‎好了,說出來吧 665 00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:50,791 ‎謝謝 666 00:36:50,875 --> 00:36:51,833 ‎再一次 667 00:36:51,916 --> 00:36:53,500 ‎-謝謝 ‎-再一次 668 00:36:55,333 --> 00:36:57,083 ‎(綠枝花店) 669 00:36:57,166 --> 00:36:59,166 ‎-妳好 ‎-抱歉,我得去… 670 00:36:59,250 --> 00:37:00,083 ‎妳好 671 00:37:01,083 --> 00:37:02,166 ‎是你喔 672 00:37:02,250 --> 00:37:04,083 ‎我是說,先生,是你啊 673 00:37:04,166 --> 00:37:05,041 ‎對 674 00:37:07,875 --> 00:37:08,958 ‎你看起來… 675 00:37:09,041 --> 00:37:12,125 ‎先生,你看起來…很不一樣 676 00:37:13,333 --> 00:37:16,291 ‎我就只是做了一點小改造 677 00:37:17,500 --> 00:37:20,125 ‎你好像是從好萊塢電影裡走出來的 678 00:37:20,875 --> 00:37:23,291 ‎好像布萊德彼特 ‎或李奧納多主演的好萊塢電影 679 00:37:23,375 --> 00:37:26,041 ‎妳是在取笑我嗎,小姐? 680 00:37:26,125 --> 00:37:29,666 ‎不,我絕對不會取笑你 681 00:37:31,416 --> 00:37:33,041 ‎上次的事我很抱歉 682 00:37:34,541 --> 00:37:36,375 ‎我們可以永遠當朋友 683 00:37:37,625 --> 00:37:38,625 ‎再一次 684 00:37:42,666 --> 00:37:43,750 ‎-雅奈克 ‎-克拉拉 685 00:37:45,666 --> 00:37:46,500 ‎雅奈克 686 00:37:48,041 --> 00:37:51,208 ‎妳覺得目前世界的… 687 00:37:51,291 --> 00:37:52,958 ‎狀況如何? 688 00:37:53,583 --> 00:37:54,416 ‎你是指什麼? 689 00:37:55,666 --> 00:37:57,375 ‎目前的世界局勢 690 00:37:59,791 --> 00:38:01,541 ‎非洲還是中東? 691 00:38:03,208 --> 00:38:04,333 ‎就整體來說? 692 00:38:05,541 --> 00:38:07,583 ‎整體來說,我很擔心 693 00:38:07,666 --> 00:38:08,541 ‎擔心什麼? 694 00:38:10,625 --> 00:38:11,666 ‎只是整體來說 695 00:38:13,166 --> 00:38:14,208 ‎以細節來說呢? 696 00:38:15,208 --> 00:38:16,250 ‎以細節來說 697 00:38:17,250 --> 00:38:20,375 ‎氣候危機、全球危機 698 00:38:20,458 --> 00:38:24,041 ‎熱帶雨林被摧毀、恐怖攻擊、疫情 699 00:38:24,125 --> 00:38:25,750 ‎非洲的挨餓孩童 700 00:38:25,833 --> 00:38:26,833 ‎在伊索比亞的呢? 701 00:38:28,416 --> 00:38:29,416 ‎在伊索比亞的也是 702 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:33,041 ‎妳不能把全世界的問題都扛在肩上 703 00:38:33,125 --> 00:38:33,958 ‎還是可以? 704 00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:36,916 ‎小兔兔,是你嗎?你去哪裡了? 705 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,958 ‎你看起來好優雅帥氣 706 00:38:39,041 --> 00:38:40,375 ‎-但是… ‎-我很想你 707 00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:46,833 ‎-小姐,妳在做什麼? ‎-你不認得我嗎? 708 00:38:46,916 --> 00:38:49,125 ‎不認得,拜託別煩我,瘋婆子! 709 00:38:49,208 --> 00:38:51,125 ‎-克拉拉! ‎-不好意思 710 00:38:52,666 --> 00:38:54,416 ‎小姐,這個人在騷擾妳嗎? 711 00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:55,500 ‎-什麼? ‎-沒有 712 00:38:55,583 --> 00:38:57,416 ‎-是她在騷擾… ‎-冷靜點 713 00:38:57,500 --> 00:38:58,916 ‎要我們教訓他嗎? 714 00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:02,291 ‎我只是跟寶貝起了小口角 ‎對吧,小兔子? 715 00:39:02,375 --> 00:39:03,208 ‎什麼口角? 716 00:39:15,125 --> 00:39:16,166 ‎出去! 717 00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:17,625 ‎滾! 718 00:39:18,291 --> 00:39:19,125 ‎怎麼了? 719 00:39:19,625 --> 00:39:23,083 ‎你僱用那個瘋女人 ‎來羞辱我,讓我丟臉 720 00:39:23,166 --> 00:39:24,000 ‎但是… 721 00:39:25,625 --> 00:39:27,250 ‎到底發生了什麼事? 722 00:39:27,333 --> 00:39:28,208 ‎克拉拉 723 00:39:28,291 --> 00:39:29,125 ‎她… 724 00:39:29,208 --> 00:39:30,541 ‎她跑走了 725 00:39:31,375 --> 00:39:33,083 ‎-她在哭 ‎-她哭了? 726 00:39:33,166 --> 00:39:34,666 ‎-應該吧 ‎-很好 727 00:39:35,208 --> 00:39:36,625 ‎這表示她在乎你 728 00:39:36,708 --> 00:39:38,708 ‎你真是瘋了 729 00:39:38,791 --> 00:39:39,750 ‎別激動 730 00:39:39,833 --> 00:39:42,583 ‎-一切都按計畫進行 ‎-什麼計畫? 731 00:39:43,791 --> 00:39:46,791 ‎自古以來,戀人克服萬難 ‎就是天經地義的事 732 00:39:46,875 --> 00:39:50,166 ‎這兩個人、哈姆雷特和歐菲莉亞 ‎羅密歐與茱麗葉 733 00:39:50,250 --> 00:39:53,375 ‎如果想獲得幸福快樂的結局 ‎就必須先經歷一番寒徹骨 734 00:39:53,916 --> 00:39:57,750 ‎什麼幸福快樂的結局? ‎他們全都死了,你這個笨蛋! 735 00:40:01,375 --> 00:40:02,625 ‎相信我 736 00:40:20,958 --> 00:40:22,958 ‎這是我設計的,很漂亮吧? 737 00:40:23,041 --> 00:40:23,916 ‎美極了 738 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:25,750 ‎-我得回家一趟 ‎-絕對不行 739 00:40:25,833 --> 00:40:26,708 ‎我說真的 740 00:40:26,791 --> 00:40:28,583 ‎亞歷珊德拉,我有要求很多嗎? 741 00:40:28,666 --> 00:40:29,583 ‎我是只要妳的… 742 00:40:30,125 --> 00:40:32,750 ‎一點支持,就這樣 743 00:40:32,833 --> 00:40:35,583 ‎-我本來就不想這樣,我只想要簡單… ‎-簡單的? 744 00:40:35,666 --> 00:40:37,625 ‎大家會怎麼說?反對黨呢? 745 00:40:37,708 --> 00:40:40,416 ‎他們會說我老公 ‎沒有遵循最重要的傳統價值 746 00:40:40,500 --> 00:40:42,875 ‎每個女孩都夢想著童話般的婚禮 747 00:40:42,958 --> 00:40:43,875 ‎可以聽我解釋嗎? 748 00:40:43,958 --> 00:40:45,083 ‎我正在說話 749 00:40:45,166 --> 00:40:46,000 ‎還有妳… 750 00:40:46,500 --> 00:40:49,208 ‎別忘了妳要加入我們的家 751 00:40:49,708 --> 00:40:52,000 ‎我們的家庭 752 00:40:52,500 --> 00:40:55,500 ‎這伴隨著責任感 ‎我丈夫很快就會當上總統 753 00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:57,916 ‎太好了,不好意思,借過! 754 00:40:58,000 --> 00:40:59,375 ‎還愣在那裡做什麼? 755 00:40:59,458 --> 00:41:00,791 ‎把她帶回來 756 00:41:02,291 --> 00:41:04,666 ‎你還站在那裡幹嘛?拍蛋糕嗎? 757 00:41:04,750 --> 00:41:06,458 ‎好,我們重新開始 758 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:12,833 ‎等等 759 00:41:15,166 --> 00:41:17,333 ‎妳這樣不適合開車,我載妳吧 760 00:41:32,041 --> 00:41:34,916 ‎-人生中最大的合約如何? ‎-不值得 761 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,791 ‎-我看完了《崔斯坦與伊索德》 ‎-看完了? 762 00:41:37,875 --> 00:41:39,083 ‎-對 ‎-有什麼想法嗎? 763 00:41:39,166 --> 00:41:40,500 ‎那是個很有趣的故事 764 00:41:40,583 --> 00:41:43,375 ‎她被迫嫁給國王,愛上了崔斯坦 765 00:41:43,458 --> 00:41:44,958 ‎最後跟他共度一生 766 00:41:45,041 --> 00:41:46,958 ‎我倒著都會背,不必給我摘要 767 00:41:47,041 --> 00:41:48,166 ‎你有任何心得嗎? 768 00:41:48,708 --> 00:41:50,541 ‎妳們真的好慘 769 00:41:50,625 --> 00:41:52,375 ‎我是指女人 770 00:41:52,458 --> 00:41:55,416 ‎因為經濟考量,被迫嫁給不愛的人 771 00:41:55,500 --> 00:41:57,958 ‎你覺得我這個可憐的孤兒 ‎釣到了一個白馬王子? 772 00:41:58,041 --> 00:41:59,416 ‎為了他的錢和地位? 773 00:41:59,500 --> 00:42:03,916 ‎不,我只是說,如果妳要去殺惡龍 ‎我願意當妳的崔斯坦 774 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:05,125 ‎謝謝,但是不用了 775 00:42:06,625 --> 00:42:08,250 ‎這其實很酷吧? 776 00:42:09,875 --> 00:42:12,500 ‎結婚之後,把初夜獻給老公 777 00:42:13,416 --> 00:42:15,625 ‎然後忙著跟其他人“交流” 778 00:42:15,708 --> 00:42:17,750 ‎-你真噁心 ‎-書就是這樣寫的 779 00:42:17,833 --> 00:42:19,625 ‎好了,別再自掘墳墓了 780 00:42:23,708 --> 00:42:25,458 ‎外婆,妳還好嗎? 781 00:42:26,041 --> 00:42:28,458 ‎布洛內克打電話給我,說妳不接電話 782 00:42:28,541 --> 00:42:29,458 ‎布洛內克? 783 00:42:29,541 --> 00:42:30,625 ‎他太大驚小怪了 784 00:42:30,708 --> 00:42:33,916 ‎固執得跟牛一樣,也不去看醫生 785 00:42:34,791 --> 00:42:36,250 ‎我跟他分手了 786 00:42:37,875 --> 00:42:39,458 ‎-妳好 ‎-你好 787 00:42:39,541 --> 00:42:41,458 ‎這是湯美克,他在拍幕後花絮 788 00:42:41,541 --> 00:42:43,000 ‎什麼意思? 789 00:42:44,250 --> 00:42:45,416 ‎就是關於拍電影的電影 790 00:42:46,583 --> 00:42:47,958 ‎謝謝,你可以走了 791 00:42:48,583 --> 00:42:51,500 ‎歐拉,請妳去泡一點茶 792 00:42:53,833 --> 00:42:58,041 ‎還有你,孩子,去拿蛋糕和盤子 793 00:43:11,666 --> 00:43:13,625 ‎然後她婆婆說 794 00:43:13,708 --> 00:43:16,916 ‎辦吝嗇的小婚禮 ‎會整個降低他們的格調 795 00:43:17,791 --> 00:43:20,083 ‎那就整個降低吧 796 00:43:21,250 --> 00:43:23,041 ‎真是個好孩子 797 00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:26,833 ‎你有什麼缺點嗎? 798 00:43:27,333 --> 00:43:29,541 ‎聊得真開心 ‎但可惜你得走了,湯美克 799 00:43:29,625 --> 00:43:31,125 ‎我有很多缺點 800 00:43:31,750 --> 00:43:34,875 ‎貪吃、沒禮貌,不好意思 801 00:43:37,083 --> 00:43:40,291 ‎懶惰、粗心、不可靠 802 00:43:40,375 --> 00:43:42,958 ‎三分鐘熱度、對女人沒轍 803 00:43:43,041 --> 00:43:44,166 ‎情緒不穩定 804 00:43:44,250 --> 00:43:45,833 ‎我可以從A講到Z 805 00:43:47,083 --> 00:43:52,333 ‎跟妳過世的外公 ‎簡直一個模子刻出來的,歐拉 806 00:43:53,041 --> 00:43:53,958 ‎浪子 807 00:43:54,041 --> 00:43:55,583 ‎但我相信愛情 808 00:43:56,708 --> 00:43:57,791 ‎什麼意思? 809 00:43:57,875 --> 00:43:58,916 ‎外婆,別聽他的 810 00:44:00,958 --> 00:44:03,375 ‎我相信愛情可以改變一個人 811 00:44:04,791 --> 00:44:05,750 ‎相愛的時候 812 00:44:07,041 --> 00:44:08,250 ‎會讓彼此變得更好 813 00:44:10,416 --> 00:44:13,750 ‎周遭的世界也會因此變得更好 814 00:44:15,375 --> 00:44:17,791 ‎孩子,把這句寫下來 815 00:44:18,416 --> 00:44:19,500 ‎好有詩意 816 00:44:23,500 --> 00:44:24,625 ‎再來一塊? 817 00:44:25,250 --> 00:44:26,416 ‎妳不吃的話,我吃掉囉 818 00:44:28,583 --> 00:44:29,416 ‎好吃 819 00:44:29,916 --> 00:44:31,333 ‎天啊,不好意思 820 00:44:33,166 --> 00:44:34,875 ‎-喂? ‎-你在哪裡? 821 00:44:34,958 --> 00:44:36,208 ‎派希氣炸了 822 00:44:36,708 --> 00:44:37,708 ‎他是個浪子 823 00:44:38,500 --> 00:44:40,666 ‎但眼神看得出他很溫柔 824 00:44:41,375 --> 00:44:42,708 ‎妳在說什麼? 825 00:44:42,791 --> 00:44:44,708 ‎他看妳的眼神 826 00:44:44,791 --> 00:44:45,625 ‎什麼眼神? 827 00:44:45,708 --> 00:44:47,500 ‎有火花的眼神! 828 00:44:47,583 --> 00:44:48,791 ‎外婆! 829 00:44:48,875 --> 00:44:50,000 ‎別那樣喊我 830 00:44:50,083 --> 00:44:51,500 ‎有火花就是有火花 831 00:45:16,416 --> 00:45:18,166 ‎-小偷! ‎-待在這裡 832 00:45:23,791 --> 00:45:25,208 ‎-是你? ‎-不然呢? 833 00:45:25,291 --> 00:45:26,291 ‎你怎麼能這樣? 834 00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:28,375 ‎你到底在想什麼? 835 00:45:28,458 --> 00:45:30,083 ‎你必須推命運一把 836 00:45:30,166 --> 00:45:32,291 ‎-你是小偷 ‎-那就去告發我 837 00:45:32,375 --> 00:45:35,416 ‎-為什麼沒先告訴我? ‎-我想讓你看起來自然一點 838 00:45:35,500 --> 00:45:37,666 ‎-而你做到了,給你 ‎-你真是… 839 00:45:38,791 --> 00:45:40,375 ‎-這是怎麼回事? ‎-是他! 840 00:45:40,458 --> 00:45:41,958 ‎兩位,你們是… 841 00:45:42,583 --> 00:45:43,500 ‎不是我! 842 00:45:43,583 --> 00:45:45,250 ‎非常好,就是這樣 843 00:45:45,333 --> 00:45:46,541 ‎警察先生,不是他 844 00:45:46,625 --> 00:45:48,708 ‎不!小偷不是他! 845 00:45:48,791 --> 00:45:50,250 ‎我說真的,不是他! 846 00:45:50,333 --> 00:45:51,708 ‎-天啊 ‎-不是他 847 00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:53,041 ‎會痛嗎? 848 00:46:06,791 --> 00:46:07,625 ‎很痛嗎? 849 00:46:07,708 --> 00:46:08,583 ‎完全不會 850 00:46:15,125 --> 00:46:16,000 ‎可以嗎? 851 00:46:27,416 --> 00:46:29,416 ‎我很喜歡妳,妳知道嗎? 852 00:46:29,500 --> 00:46:30,750 ‎我也喜歡你 853 00:46:30,833 --> 00:46:32,250 ‎所以我們不能在一起 854 00:46:32,333 --> 00:46:33,208 ‎什麼? 855 00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,791 ‎對,我不想要良心不安 856 00:46:35,875 --> 00:46:37,291 ‎妳到底在… 857 00:46:38,416 --> 00:46:40,333 ‎我有個詛咒 858 00:46:41,041 --> 00:46:42,250 ‎我的每一任男友… 859 00:46:43,666 --> 00:46:45,125 ‎一個機車車禍過世 860 00:46:45,708 --> 00:46:47,208 ‎下一個去亞洲徒步旅行後失蹤 861 00:46:47,291 --> 00:46:50,166 ‎第三個原本事業很成功 ‎結果突然破產了 862 00:46:50,250 --> 00:46:51,583 ‎所以我才會穿得… 863 00:46:51,666 --> 00:46:54,583 ‎我穿寬鬆的衣服和連身褲 ‎就為了當個隱形人 864 00:46:54,666 --> 00:46:56,375 ‎因為我怕會帶給別人… 865 00:47:03,625 --> 00:47:04,500 ‎好 866 00:47:07,208 --> 00:47:09,416 ‎-我不想操之過急 ‎-我懂 867 00:47:11,375 --> 00:47:13,750 ‎好,漸近線可以等 868 00:47:13,833 --> 00:47:17,708 ‎對,可以再等等 ‎妳準備好再做也不遲 869 00:47:20,083 --> 00:47:20,916 ‎謝謝 870 00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:25,958 ‎你真… 871 00:47:29,416 --> 00:47:30,708 ‎-真… ‎-什麼? 872 00:47:32,750 --> 00:47:34,791 ‎-像貓咪一樣 ‎-可是… 873 00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:36,875 ‎不,別再唉了 874 00:47:59,208 --> 00:48:00,333 ‎我忘了帶鑰匙 875 00:48:00,875 --> 00:48:03,291 ‎-你看起來心情很好 ‎-這個嘛… 876 00:48:03,375 --> 00:48:04,208 ‎不… 877 00:48:04,291 --> 00:48:05,166 ‎不會吧 878 00:48:05,666 --> 00:48:06,583 ‎真的嗎? 879 00:48:07,125 --> 00:48:10,541 ‎你把莖插進她的花蕾了嗎? 880 00:48:11,083 --> 00:48:13,083 ‎-你真可悲 ‎-但我是對的 881 00:48:13,166 --> 00:48:15,541 ‎共同的創傷會讓人凝聚在一起 882 00:48:15,625 --> 00:48:18,083 ‎-但那是假的 ‎-但你當時不知道 883 00:48:18,166 --> 00:48:19,166 ‎現在我知道了 884 00:48:20,625 --> 00:48:22,875 ‎還有我不幹了,我不要再拍花絮了 885 00:48:22,958 --> 00:48:25,500 ‎託我的福 ‎你才幾天的時間就摘到鮮花 886 00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:28,750 ‎-現在卻要拋棄我? ‎-你配不上歐拉 887 00:48:28,833 --> 00:48:32,166 ‎你只是為了好玩就破壞她的人生 ‎我不會讓你這麼做 888 00:48:32,250 --> 00:48:34,625 ‎我們說好了,你答應過要幫我 889 00:48:34,708 --> 00:48:36,291 ‎因為我想快點擺脫你 890 00:48:36,375 --> 00:48:37,916 ‎不,你不能拋棄我 891 00:48:39,375 --> 00:48:40,541 ‎你有資格說這句嗎? 892 00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:42,541 ‎逃跑大王 893 00:48:42,625 --> 00:48:44,666 ‎-你在說什麼? ‎-你清楚得很 894 00:48:45,666 --> 00:48:46,916 ‎媽媽去世時,你在哪裡? 895 00:48:50,875 --> 00:48:52,000 ‎我在念書 896 00:48:52,083 --> 00:48:52,958 ‎念書? 897 00:48:53,958 --> 00:48:55,375 ‎那就是你所謂的念書? 898 00:48:56,125 --> 00:48:58,041 ‎派對和把妹,你只在乎兩件事 899 00:49:01,750 --> 00:49:02,708 ‎不是這樣的 900 00:49:05,875 --> 00:49:08,083 ‎-你不能離開我 ‎-我可以 901 00:49:10,583 --> 00:49:11,416 ‎不行! 902 00:49:12,791 --> 00:49:14,125 ‎-可以 ‎-不行! 903 00:49:14,208 --> 00:49:15,666 ‎-可以! ‎-不行! 904 00:50:01,416 --> 00:50:02,666 ‎你們知道我是誰嗎? 905 00:50:04,041 --> 00:50:04,916 ‎史麥拉 906 00:50:05,791 --> 00:50:07,208 ‎史麥拉先生 907 00:50:07,291 --> 00:50:10,791 ‎-最大的波蘭… ‎-波蘭黑幫老大 908 00:50:10,875 --> 00:50:11,708 ‎別傻了 909 00:50:13,083 --> 00:50:13,916 ‎喬奇 910 00:50:15,458 --> 00:50:18,208 ‎喬奇是個很爛的扒手 911 00:50:19,083 --> 00:50:21,166 ‎但他有五星級飯店的廚藝 912 00:50:22,541 --> 00:50:23,916 ‎坐下吧 913 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:25,500 ‎喬奇,你今天準備了什麼? 914 00:50:26,083 --> 00:50:28,166 ‎別擔心,史麥拉先生,你會喜歡的 915 00:50:28,250 --> 00:50:29,875 ‎烤龍蝦佐法式伯那西醬 916 00:50:30,958 --> 00:50:33,333 ‎龍蝦當早餐,太棒了 917 00:50:33,916 --> 00:50:35,333 ‎扯開爪子 918 00:50:35,833 --> 00:50:36,666 ‎好好享用 919 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:39,083 ‎我就直說了 920 00:50:40,208 --> 00:50:42,416 ‎我本來要假釋出獄 921 00:50:42,500 --> 00:50:44,541 ‎卻被柯賽斯奇壞了事 922 00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:46,625 ‎他要對我展開新的調查 923 00:50:48,083 --> 00:50:50,875 ‎有意思,但是跟我們有什麼關係? 924 00:50:50,958 --> 00:50:54,083 ‎我人或許在這裡,但我到處都有眼線 925 00:50:55,625 --> 00:50:57,000 ‎那… 926 00:50:57,666 --> 00:50:58,541 ‎你看到什麼? 927 00:50:58,625 --> 00:50:59,875 ‎-你 ‎-我? 928 00:50:59,958 --> 00:51:01,708 ‎華沙花心男 929 00:51:01,791 --> 00:51:03,083 ‎我還看到事情的發展 930 00:51:03,166 --> 00:51:04,791 ‎發展得如何? 931 00:51:04,875 --> 00:51:06,125 ‎很糟! 932 00:51:08,916 --> 00:51:12,833 ‎如果柯賽斯奇二世 ‎沒有成功在後天結婚,我就… 933 00:51:12,916 --> 00:51:13,958 ‎完蛋了 934 00:51:14,041 --> 00:51:15,500 ‎完蛋了! 935 00:51:15,583 --> 00:51:17,583 ‎然後你們也… 936 00:51:17,666 --> 00:51:18,500 ‎完蛋了 937 00:51:18,583 --> 00:51:20,750 ‎比聖誕夜吃的烤鯉魚還要慘 938 00:51:20,833 --> 00:51:22,958 ‎首先,我會傷害你們的親人 939 00:51:23,041 --> 00:51:24,416 ‎但我們是孤兒 940 00:51:24,500 --> 00:51:25,375 ‎花店的女孩呢? 941 00:51:27,583 --> 00:51:29,458 ‎我就只是買仙人掌… 942 00:51:29,541 --> 00:51:30,958 ‎等等,等一下 943 00:51:32,416 --> 00:51:34,750 ‎我不懂,我們從頭開始 944 00:51:34,833 --> 00:51:37,833 ‎柯賽斯奇總是掛在嘴上的是什麼? 945 00:51:37,916 --> 00:51:39,083 ‎死刑 946 00:51:39,166 --> 00:51:40,666 ‎他對此很執著 947 00:51:40,750 --> 00:51:44,500 ‎死刑是第二名,他最常講的是… 948 00:51:44,583 --> 00:51:45,416 ‎家庭 949 00:51:46,083 --> 00:51:49,041 ‎我跟他成為一家人之後 ‎他就不得不取消調查 950 00:51:49,125 --> 00:51:50,208 ‎懂嗎? 951 00:52:03,208 --> 00:52:04,666 ‎歐拉是我的親生骨肉 952 00:52:05,166 --> 00:52:06,833 ‎柯賽斯奇沒有查到? 953 00:52:06,916 --> 00:52:08,250 ‎他查得很仔細 954 00:52:08,750 --> 00:52:10,583 ‎但我很久以前就把紀錄刪乾淨了 955 00:52:10,666 --> 00:52:14,958 ‎所以歐拉 ‎和柯賽斯奇二世的婚禮是假的? 956 00:52:15,041 --> 00:52:18,041 ‎你覺得我有這麼混蛋 ‎會拿孩子的幸福去談條件嗎? 957 00:52:18,125 --> 00:52:19,666 ‎不,我沒這樣想 958 00:52:22,208 --> 00:52:23,583 ‎所以不能拍花絮了? 959 00:52:24,291 --> 00:52:25,416 ‎正好相反 960 00:52:25,916 --> 00:52:31,166 ‎你繼續完成你的工作 ‎我等不及要看這個紀念品了 961 00:52:31,250 --> 00:52:33,541 ‎吃吧,他媽的全吞光 962 00:52:51,125 --> 00:52:52,708 ‎你甩了很多女孩嗎? 963 00:52:53,958 --> 00:52:54,791 ‎不少 964 00:52:55,333 --> 00:52:58,041 ‎但我相信她們現在過得更開心 965 00:52:58,125 --> 00:52:58,958 ‎為何這麼問? 966 00:53:00,875 --> 00:53:03,750 ‎因為這是我第一次想當你這樣的混蛋 967 00:53:05,375 --> 00:53:06,750 ‎華沙花心男 968 00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:19,875 ‎-嘿,寶貝 ‎-嗨 969 00:53:19,958 --> 00:53:20,791 ‎吃飽沒? 970 00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:25,333 ‎想進來嗎? 971 00:53:27,458 --> 00:53:28,583 ‎不了 972 00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:32,541 ‎我在市區約了個女生 973 00:53:34,125 --> 00:53:36,208 ‎我的意思是,我對妳沒性趣了 974 00:53:36,291 --> 00:53:38,083 ‎你是嗑藥了還是吃錯藥? 975 00:53:38,166 --> 00:53:39,000 ‎什麼? 976 00:53:39,083 --> 00:53:40,916 ‎不,但我要… 977 00:53:41,583 --> 00:53:45,958 ‎不是妳的問題,別那樣看我 ‎是我的問題,我需要空間和… 978 00:53:47,333 --> 00:53:52,083 ‎我們相處起來很輕鬆 ‎有開心、有激情之類的 979 00:53:53,208 --> 00:53:54,791 ‎但我們沒有承諾過彼此什麼 980 00:53:55,958 --> 00:53:57,541 ‎別哭,好嗎? 981 00:53:58,916 --> 00:54:00,541 ‎有開心、有激情之類的? 982 00:54:02,041 --> 00:54:02,958 ‎我不懂 983 00:54:04,583 --> 00:54:06,458 ‎昨天你說你喜歡我,今天又… 984 00:54:06,541 --> 00:54:08,458 ‎今天是今天,這就是人生,寶貝 985 00:54:09,875 --> 00:54:11,875 ‎天下無不散的筵席,對吧? 986 00:54:11,958 --> 00:54:13,083 ‎好吧,那就… 987 00:54:13,791 --> 00:54:14,625 ‎再見 988 00:54:57,333 --> 00:54:58,333 ‎-好… ‎-還有這個 989 00:54:58,916 --> 00:55:00,833 ‎在這裡簽名,我們就可以開始了 990 00:55:00,916 --> 00:55:02,041 ‎這是什麼? 991 00:55:02,125 --> 00:55:04,583 ‎合約附錄,最終剪輯的影片是我們的 992 00:55:05,083 --> 00:55:05,958 ‎好 993 00:55:07,333 --> 00:55:11,291 ‎小克,你能拍拍麥克風 ‎確認語音同步嗎? 994 00:55:11,375 --> 00:55:12,583 ‎-我? ‎-對 995 00:55:14,541 --> 00:55:16,125 ‎等一下,好 996 00:55:17,083 --> 00:55:17,916 ‎拍一下 997 00:55:19,208 --> 00:55:20,666 ‎抱歉,再一次 998 00:55:23,625 --> 00:55:24,458 ‎好了 999 00:55:26,833 --> 00:55:28,041 ‎你們認識多久了? 1000 00:55:28,125 --> 00:55:29,083 ‎一年多 1001 00:55:29,166 --> 00:55:31,750 ‎一年兩個月五天 1002 00:55:31,833 --> 00:55:32,875 ‎又八小時 1003 00:55:33,375 --> 00:55:35,000 ‎我們是一見鍾情 1004 00:55:35,750 --> 00:55:39,125 ‎哇,好棒,我以為那只發生在電影裡 1005 00:55:39,208 --> 00:55:41,541 ‎如你所見 ‎人生自己會譜出最美好的故事 1006 00:55:42,250 --> 00:55:43,125 ‎那… 1007 00:55:43,208 --> 00:55:44,750 ‎好,你們在哪裡認識的? 1008 00:55:45,791 --> 00:55:46,750 ‎在婚禮上 1009 00:55:47,666 --> 00:55:49,666 ‎歐拉的女生朋友和我朋友 1010 00:55:49,750 --> 00:55:51,041 ‎在婚禮上,懂嗎? 1011 00:55:51,666 --> 00:55:52,708 ‎那是個預兆 1012 00:55:53,875 --> 00:55:54,958 ‎什麼預兆? 1013 00:55:56,833 --> 00:55:58,166 ‎上天給我們的 1014 00:55:58,250 --> 00:56:00,083 ‎我們是天生一對 1015 00:56:00,166 --> 00:56:03,041 ‎哇,真是太浪漫了 1016 00:56:03,125 --> 00:56:05,333 ‎歐拉,那妳的看法是什麼? 1017 00:56:05,416 --> 00:56:06,250 ‎跟他一樣 1018 00:56:07,541 --> 00:56:09,166 ‎你真的很幸運,小克 1019 00:56:09,250 --> 00:56:10,916 ‎你根本毫不費力就得到她 1020 00:56:12,916 --> 00:56:15,541 ‎你們對婚姻制度有什麼看法? 1021 00:56:15,625 --> 00:56:20,875 ‎婚姻當然是男女之間透過宗教的連結 1022 00:56:20,958 --> 00:56:23,875 ‎透過宗教聖事來見證他們的愛情 1023 00:56:25,583 --> 00:56:26,875 ‎歐拉,對妳來說呢? 1024 00:56:26,958 --> 00:56:28,791 ‎一段邁向未知的浪漫旅程 1025 00:56:29,791 --> 00:56:31,833 ‎旅程,說得好 1026 00:56:31,916 --> 00:56:33,083 ‎就像哥倫布的航程 1027 00:56:33,166 --> 00:56:34,583 ‎-沒錯 ‎-對 1028 00:56:34,666 --> 00:56:37,666 ‎妳是哥倫布,而我是妳想掠奪的美國 1029 00:56:39,250 --> 00:56:40,708 ‎抱歉,這不是我… 1030 00:56:41,541 --> 00:56:44,000 ‎只有我覺得這些問題很蠢嗎? 1031 00:56:44,583 --> 00:56:45,583 ‎觀眾想知道 1032 00:56:45,666 --> 00:56:47,416 ‎不好意思,什麼觀眾? 1033 00:56:47,500 --> 00:56:48,916 ‎例如… 1034 00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:49,958 ‎他們的孩子 1035 00:56:50,041 --> 00:56:52,958 ‎他們會想看看父母親是怎麼認識的 1036 00:56:53,041 --> 00:56:53,875 ‎說到這個 1037 00:56:55,333 --> 00:56:58,541 ‎說到孩子,我想你們應該想生吧 1038 00:56:59,666 --> 00:57:01,416 ‎你們有戴套嗎? 1039 00:57:01,500 --> 00:57:03,583 ‎你很低級,我不喜歡 1040 00:57:03,666 --> 00:57:04,500 ‎這鬧劇到此為止 1041 00:57:04,583 --> 00:57:05,541 ‎-好 ‎-結束 1042 00:57:05,625 --> 00:57:07,416 ‎-再問一個問題就好 ‎-什麼? 1043 00:57:16,875 --> 00:57:19,250 ‎我們知道你們的關係是怎麼開始的… 1044 00:57:19,833 --> 00:57:21,791 ‎但你們的第一次在哪裡? 1045 00:57:23,125 --> 00:57:25,166 ‎-婚前性行為是一種罪過 ‎-沒錯 1046 00:57:27,375 --> 00:57:28,791 ‎你們還沒做過嗎? 1047 00:57:30,000 --> 00:57:31,250 ‎沒有 1048 00:57:34,291 --> 00:57:36,208 ‎-好了嗎? ‎-好了 1049 00:57:36,958 --> 00:57:38,333 ‎部長來了 1050 00:57:39,083 --> 00:57:39,916 ‎太好了 1051 00:57:47,875 --> 00:57:49,208 ‎部長,您的演講 1052 00:57:49,291 --> 00:57:51,916 ‎-國會的? ‎-不,小克婚禮的 1053 00:57:55,375 --> 00:57:58,083 ‎親愛的,這些是電影製作人 1054 00:57:58,166 --> 00:57:59,583 ‎拿去,拜託… 1055 00:57:59,666 --> 00:58:01,375 ‎就一個小問題就好 1056 00:58:01,458 --> 00:58:05,125 ‎你對長子的婚姻有什麼期望? 1057 00:58:06,000 --> 00:58:06,833 ‎婚姻 1058 00:58:07,333 --> 00:58:11,375 ‎首先,我們要定義它是什麼 1059 00:58:11,458 --> 00:58:17,291 ‎這是男女之間的神聖結合 1060 00:58:17,375 --> 00:58:19,750 ‎當然,這也是家族的根基 1061 00:58:19,833 --> 00:58:22,750 ‎而家族孕育了… 1062 00:58:22,833 --> 00:58:26,833 ‎-你的衣服上有一根線 ‎-你可以早點說的 1063 00:58:26,916 --> 00:58:28,416 ‎-麻煩處理一下 ‎-好 1064 00:58:28,500 --> 00:58:30,333 ‎-你明明就看到了 ‎-沒關係,放輕鬆 1065 00:58:31,416 --> 00:58:32,666 ‎對不起,部長 1066 00:58:33,875 --> 00:58:35,958 ‎婚姻是家庭的基礎 1067 00:58:36,041 --> 00:58:37,541 ‎而家族孕育了 1068 00:58:37,625 --> 00:58:41,541 ‎我們的祖先努力奮鬥 ‎所保留下來的神聖價值與傳統 1069 00:58:41,625 --> 00:58:43,208 ‎好讓我們過上自由的生活 1070 00:58:43,291 --> 00:58:49,333 ‎並且繼續繁衍後代 ‎為祖國的繁榮富強貢獻力量 1071 00:58:49,416 --> 00:58:52,500 ‎所以我當總統後的第一件事 1072 00:58:53,000 --> 00:58:55,291 ‎就是推動以家庭為導向的政策 1073 00:58:58,916 --> 00:59:00,125 ‎好 1074 00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:04,958 ‎下午5點,我們會歡迎貴賓 1075 00:59:06,125 --> 00:59:10,583 ‎感謝你們大駕光臨 1076 00:59:10,666 --> 00:59:12,125 ‎動作快一點 1077 00:59:13,416 --> 00:59:17,291 ‎感謝你們大駕光臨 1078 00:59:18,541 --> 00:59:22,000 ‎感謝你們大駕光臨 1079 00:59:22,083 --> 00:59:23,416 ‎您說得太好了! 1080 00:59:23,500 --> 00:59:25,416 ‎很好,繼續說,我們繼續吧 1081 00:59:26,000 --> 00:59:28,708 ‎好,大家都坐下 1082 00:59:30,083 --> 00:59:33,916 ‎現在是下午6點03分 1083 00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:35,583 ‎新郎父親的演講 1084 00:59:35,666 --> 00:59:38,833 ‎-有一句話很重要… ‎-好… 1085 00:59:38,916 --> 00:59:40,833 ‎真是繞梁三日不絕於耳 1086 00:59:40,916 --> 00:59:42,666 ‎我們整個感動落淚 1087 00:59:42,750 --> 00:59:44,833 ‎大家都熱淚盈眶 1088 00:59:44,916 --> 00:59:47,208 ‎繼續哭,再努力一點 1089 00:59:47,291 --> 00:59:49,458 ‎-我說了什麼好笑的話嗎? ‎-沒有 1090 00:59:49,541 --> 00:59:51,541 ‎-那妳在笑什麼? ‎-沒事 1091 00:59:51,625 --> 00:59:52,583 ‎妳最近有點… 1092 00:59:53,875 --> 00:59:54,875 ‎分心 1093 00:59:54,958 --> 00:59:56,000 ‎對不起 1094 00:59:56,083 --> 00:59:58,500 ‎好,部長的演講已經結束 1095 00:59:59,000 --> 01:00:00,166 ‎現在… 1096 01:00:01,166 --> 01:00:02,500 ‎掌聲鼓勵! 1097 01:00:02,583 --> 01:00:04,500 ‎-鼓掌啊! ‎-這叫做掌聲嗎? 1098 01:00:04,583 --> 01:00:06,500 ‎-用力一點! ‎-起立鼓掌 1099 01:00:06,583 --> 01:00:10,291 ‎-再來! ‎-拍手! 1100 01:00:10,375 --> 01:00:17,375 ‎柯賽斯奇當選總統! 1101 01:00:24,000 --> 01:00:27,666 ‎謝謝大家 1102 01:00:28,250 --> 01:00:33,666 ‎我向你們保證 ‎我會捍衛波蘭家庭的傳統價值 1103 01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:37,916 ‎我們不會讓敵人破壞波蘭 1104 01:00:38,000 --> 01:00:39,583 ‎和我們的傳統價值 1105 01:00:39,666 --> 01:00:41,333 ‎別丟人了,這是彩排而已 1106 01:00:41,416 --> 01:00:42,750 ‎-什麼? ‎-這只是彩排而已 1107 01:00:42,833 --> 01:00:44,083 ‎你要去哪裡? 1108 01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:48,791 ‎我們要開始練習婚禮上要玩的遊戲了 1109 01:00:49,458 --> 01:00:51,875 ‎-我有個政府會議 ‎-管他的政府 1110 01:00:51,958 --> 01:00:55,458 ‎讓人民覺得你很親民 ‎你的得票數整個會飆漲 1111 01:00:57,083 --> 01:00:58,708 ‎妳說了算,親愛的 1112 01:00:59,458 --> 01:01:00,791 ‎別弄亂我的頭髮 1113 01:01:18,750 --> 01:01:21,666 ‎不,停…這樣不對 1114 01:01:21,750 --> 01:01:25,083 ‎-你有什麼問題? ‎-我們可是身在波蘭,我們的祖國 1115 01:01:25,166 --> 01:01:27,750 ‎我們不能聽外國歌跳舞 1116 01:01:28,333 --> 01:01:29,750 ‎這就對了,好啊 1117 01:02:12,583 --> 01:02:14,833 ‎柯賽斯奇當選總統! 1118 01:02:14,916 --> 01:02:16,583 ‎他又贏了 1119 01:02:16,666 --> 01:02:18,875 ‎他根本把那張椅子當成總統寶座在爭 1120 01:03:01,208 --> 01:03:02,041 ‎一、二 1121 01:03:02,791 --> 01:03:06,083 ‎現在來到今晚最美的時刻 1122 01:03:06,666 --> 01:03:11,000 ‎我隆重介紹新婚夫婦 ‎克里斯廷和亞歷珊德拉 1123 01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:14,416 ‎可惜克里斯廷不在這裡 1124 01:03:14,500 --> 01:03:16,583 ‎他正在增加國內生產總值,湯瑪斯? 1125 01:03:17,250 --> 01:03:19,333 ‎-你能代替他嗎? ‎-我? 1126 01:03:19,416 --> 01:03:20,750 ‎如果你不介意的話 1127 01:03:21,375 --> 01:03:23,541 ‎我絕對比不上他 1128 01:03:24,083 --> 01:03:25,333 ‎那還用說嗎? 1129 01:03:25,416 --> 01:03:27,125 ‎但這只是排練 1130 01:03:27,208 --> 01:03:28,125 ‎好吧 1131 01:03:29,125 --> 01:03:30,041 ‎拿著 1132 01:03:31,916 --> 01:03:34,125 ‎-現在要怎樣? ‎-沒怎樣,站到那裡 1133 01:03:49,916 --> 01:03:51,333 ‎這是妳自找的 1134 01:04:04,916 --> 01:04:07,791 ‎-你非得這樣拍她的馬屁嗎? ‎-妳在吃醋嗎? 1135 01:04:08,416 --> 01:04:10,291 ‎-你很樂在其中嗎? ‎-什麼? 1136 01:04:10,375 --> 01:04:11,708 ‎樂於當混蛋 1137 01:04:12,208 --> 01:04:14,166 ‎當混蛋是我的專長 1138 01:04:24,166 --> 01:04:25,416 ‎夠了,停下來 1139 01:04:35,041 --> 01:04:37,833 ‎來吧,替單身派對熱身 1140 01:05:04,708 --> 01:05:05,833 ‎這是什麼? 1141 01:05:11,916 --> 01:05:14,791 ‎住手,停下來,馬上關掉! 1142 01:05:16,458 --> 01:05:17,375 ‎休息! 1143 01:05:17,458 --> 01:05:19,708 ‎整個該休息了 1144 01:05:19,791 --> 01:05:21,125 ‎你們沒看到剛剛發生的事 1145 01:05:21,208 --> 01:05:22,583 ‎你們什麼都沒看到 1146 01:05:22,666 --> 01:05:24,750 ‎立刻忘得一乾二淨 1147 01:05:36,000 --> 01:05:38,041 ‎妳婆婆在監視我 1148 01:05:50,458 --> 01:05:52,666 ‎好吧,看來我被開除了 1149 01:06:05,500 --> 01:06:06,666 ‎要喝一杯嗎? 1150 01:06:07,250 --> 01:06:08,291 ‎不用了,謝謝 1151 01:06:09,250 --> 01:06:10,875 ‎我會把影片編輯好 1152 01:06:10,958 --> 01:06:13,375 ‎你能先幫我把拉鍊拉下來嗎? 1153 01:06:15,291 --> 01:06:16,708 ‎我想躺下,但是… 1154 01:06:17,500 --> 01:06:19,125 ‎我不想把洋裝弄皺 1155 01:06:21,833 --> 01:06:23,500 ‎我還是打電話請別人來好了 1156 01:06:24,500 --> 01:06:26,166 ‎來幫我脫衣服? 1157 01:06:29,333 --> 01:06:30,208 ‎好吧 1158 01:06:33,291 --> 01:06:34,125 ‎謝謝 1159 01:06:36,791 --> 01:06:38,500 ‎看吧?我不會咬人 1160 01:06:39,083 --> 01:06:40,291 ‎你要去哪裡? 1161 01:06:40,791 --> 01:06:43,583 ‎妳說妳累了,我不想打擾妳 1162 01:06:43,666 --> 01:06:45,458 ‎我可以再請你幫個忙嗎? 1163 01:06:45,541 --> 01:06:46,500 ‎什麼忙? 1164 01:06:46,583 --> 01:06:47,958 ‎按摩我的肩頸 1165 01:06:48,458 --> 01:06:50,083 ‎我好緊繃 1166 01:06:50,166 --> 01:06:52,791 ‎但我不是按摩師 1167 01:06:52,875 --> 01:06:54,750 ‎你有什麼問題? 1168 01:06:54,833 --> 01:06:56,958 ‎我只是想請你幫個小忙 1169 01:06:57,750 --> 01:06:58,583 ‎好吧 1170 01:06:59,708 --> 01:07:01,916 ‎你不會覺得我在勾引你吧? 1171 01:07:02,000 --> 01:07:02,833 ‎我沒有這樣想 1172 01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:06,375 ‎我不會這樣對我丈夫 1173 01:07:06,958 --> 01:07:09,583 ‎他要是知道,會先閹了你 1174 01:07:10,083 --> 01:07:11,708 ‎然後他還會… 1175 01:07:14,916 --> 01:07:15,875 ‎謝謝 1176 01:07:16,958 --> 01:07:18,625 ‎你應該要當按摩師的 1177 01:07:22,083 --> 01:07:23,958 ‎可以幫我倒一杯嗎? 1178 01:07:27,708 --> 01:07:28,666 ‎幹 1179 01:07:47,333 --> 01:07:48,166 ‎什麼? 1180 01:07:48,666 --> 01:07:50,083 ‎派希,別這樣 1181 01:07:50,166 --> 01:07:52,208 ‎你說你從小就幻想這一幕 1182 01:07:52,291 --> 01:07:53,750 ‎-對 ‎-難道你說謊? 1183 01:07:53,833 --> 01:07:55,791 ‎-沒有 ‎-為了得到工作機會? 1184 01:07:55,875 --> 01:07:57,708 ‎-不 ‎-當然不是 1185 01:07:58,458 --> 01:07:59,458 ‎你想要我嗎? 1186 01:07:59,541 --> 01:08:00,750 ‎想… 1187 01:08:00,833 --> 01:08:03,166 ‎-從你的眼神就看得出來 ‎-當然 1188 01:08:04,291 --> 01:08:06,041 ‎你怕你駕馭不了我? 1189 01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:07,208 ‎不是… 1190 01:08:07,291 --> 01:08:10,333 ‎我保證我會好好體貼你 1191 01:08:11,250 --> 01:08:14,375 ‎但妳丈夫呢?他會把我閹了 1192 01:08:14,458 --> 01:08:16,458 ‎他根本不在乎 1193 01:08:17,125 --> 01:08:20,500 ‎他只有想到總統寶座時才硬得起來 1194 01:08:22,916 --> 01:08:29,833 ‎派希女神會讓你的夢想成真 1195 01:08:29,916 --> 01:08:34,458 ‎寶貝,我會讓你好好見識一下 1196 01:08:34,541 --> 01:08:36,708 ‎你根本沒有想像過的東西 1197 01:08:44,708 --> 01:08:46,166 ‎是,主席? 1198 01:08:47,875 --> 01:08:49,750 ‎沒問題,主席 1199 01:08:51,000 --> 01:08:53,625 ‎我不在乎這些法學教授 1200 01:08:54,583 --> 01:08:56,250 ‎任何人身上都可以找到污點 1201 01:08:58,000 --> 01:08:59,791 ‎主席,我隨時為您效勞 1202 01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:02,250 ‎白痴 1203 01:09:02,875 --> 01:09:03,750 ‎我先來 1204 01:09:05,791 --> 01:09:06,708 ‎很好 1205 01:09:07,291 --> 01:09:09,583 ‎-好啊 ‎-我會激起妳的慾望 1206 01:09:11,500 --> 01:09:13,083 ‎你要去哪裡? 1207 01:09:14,250 --> 01:09:16,000 ‎寶貝,你要去哪裡? 1208 01:09:16,083 --> 01:09:18,750 ‎我會激起妳的慾望,讓我先… 1209 01:09:36,750 --> 01:09:39,541 ‎我老婆呢?在她房裡? 1210 01:09:40,500 --> 01:09:42,083 ‎你不會說波蘭語? 1211 01:09:42,166 --> 01:09:43,291 ‎該死的移民 1212 01:09:53,041 --> 01:09:54,583 ‎我好燙… 1213 01:09:55,750 --> 01:09:57,083 ‎-我燒起來了? ‎-對… 1214 01:09:57,583 --> 01:09:58,666 ‎失火了! 1215 01:10:18,458 --> 01:10:19,916 ‎各位,不要! 1216 01:10:20,416 --> 01:10:24,166 ‎好,聽著,嘿,再一杯! 1217 01:10:24,250 --> 01:10:26,125 ‎-有相機嗎? ‎-來吧,喝! 1218 01:10:26,208 --> 01:10:27,916 ‎-自然一點 ‎-很好 1219 01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,291 ‎各位,我們來敬小克! 1220 01:10:35,541 --> 01:10:39,791 ‎-親一個! ‎-親一個! 1221 01:10:41,333 --> 01:10:43,333 ‎聽著,是…閉嘴! 1222 01:10:43,416 --> 01:10:45,166 ‎-好,乾杯 ‎-敬歐拉! 1223 01:10:45,250 --> 01:10:46,458 ‎沒錯,敬歐拉! 1224 01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:52,875 ‎我們應該送她一樣舊的東西 ‎聽說可以帶來好運 1225 01:10:52,958 --> 01:10:56,833 ‎-當然好,送項鍊吧 ‎-項鍊跟她的婚紗搭嗎? 1226 01:10:56,916 --> 01:10:58,083 ‎可以,或是戒指 1227 01:11:03,208 --> 01:11:06,333 ‎-妳覺得… ‎-她一定超美 1228 01:11:07,416 --> 01:11:09,625 ‎-她剛好打來 ‎-別說溜嘴 1229 01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:11,500 ‎嗨 1230 01:11:11,583 --> 01:11:13,458 ‎嘿,妳們不用等我 1231 01:11:13,541 --> 01:11:15,250 ‎抱歉,我外婆不舒服 1232 01:11:15,333 --> 01:11:17,291 ‎玩得開心點,一切都付清了 1233 01:11:17,375 --> 01:11:18,541 ‎歐拉,怎麼了? 1234 01:11:18,625 --> 01:11:19,583 ‎沒事 1235 01:11:26,583 --> 01:11:28,500 ‎-妳怎麼會在這裡? ‎-回去陪你的朋友 1236 01:11:28,583 --> 01:11:31,958 ‎-這件事到此為止 ‎-媽,我真的很喜歡她 1237 01:11:32,041 --> 01:11:37,125 ‎-兒子,現在不能反悔 ‎-我不能這樣對她,妳不懂嗎? 1238 01:11:37,208 --> 01:11:38,666 ‎別這麼娘! 1239 01:11:38,750 --> 01:11:40,541 ‎事關重大,你別忘了 1240 01:11:41,291 --> 01:11:44,083 ‎三天後,你爸就會當上總統 1241 01:11:48,166 --> 01:11:50,125 ‎你來了,快進來 1242 01:11:50,208 --> 01:11:51,708 ‎-沒事吧? ‎-對 1243 01:11:51,791 --> 01:11:55,125 ‎-歐拉打電話說… ‎-歐拉不太舒服 1244 01:11:55,208 --> 01:11:57,958 ‎今晚是她的單身派對 1245 01:11:58,625 --> 01:12:01,083 ‎她卻一個人窩起來 1246 01:12:01,166 --> 01:12:02,541 ‎拜託 1247 01:12:03,208 --> 01:12:04,458 ‎幫幫她 1248 01:12:06,416 --> 01:12:07,416 ‎我要去… 1249 01:12:09,041 --> 01:12:10,750 ‎看布洛內克 1250 01:12:11,250 --> 01:12:13,583 ‎再見,快去吧 1251 01:12:13,666 --> 01:12:15,750 ‎真是的,快點去! 1252 01:12:27,583 --> 01:12:28,583 ‎妳在哭嗎? 1253 01:12:32,500 --> 01:12:33,416 ‎我才沒有 1254 01:12:34,625 --> 01:12:36,416 ‎而且我沒有邀請你 1255 01:12:36,500 --> 01:12:38,416 ‎-妳幹嘛跟他結婚? ‎-沒有為什麼 1256 01:12:39,333 --> 01:12:42,125 ‎因為他讓我覺得安全 ‎而且接受全部的我 1257 01:12:42,708 --> 01:12:44,416 ‎-就這樣? ‎-這樣還不夠嗎? 1258 01:12:45,583 --> 01:12:47,250 ‎妳忘了最重要的事 1259 01:12:48,833 --> 01:12:49,916 ‎妳沒說妳愛他 1260 01:12:52,041 --> 01:12:53,375 ‎這是廢話啊 1261 01:12:54,125 --> 01:12:55,125 ‎你走吧 1262 01:12:56,083 --> 01:12:56,916 ‎所以呢? 1263 01:12:57,541 --> 01:12:58,416 ‎結束了? 1264 01:12:58,500 --> 01:13:00,333 ‎天下無不散的筵席 1265 01:13:03,083 --> 01:13:07,083 ‎所以轟轟烈烈的愛情到此為止了? 1266 01:13:09,000 --> 01:13:10,750 ‎不然你覺得會怎樣? 1267 01:13:13,416 --> 01:13:15,208 ‎我覺得妳會離開那個混蛋 1268 01:13:15,708 --> 01:13:16,875 ‎然後愛上我 1269 01:13:19,416 --> 01:13:20,250 ‎不會的 1270 01:13:21,583 --> 01:13:22,416 ‎你該走了 1271 01:15:53,208 --> 01:15:55,375 ‎你訂的阿根廷翁寶屬仙人掌 1272 01:15:57,500 --> 01:15:58,375 ‎謝謝 1273 01:16:11,666 --> 01:16:13,166 ‎你跟別人一起住嗎? 1274 01:16:14,333 --> 01:16:15,500 ‎我哥哥 1275 01:16:16,875 --> 01:16:18,583 ‎我不知道你有哥哥 1276 01:16:18,666 --> 01:16:20,083 ‎我也不覺得我有 1277 01:16:20,833 --> 01:16:22,791 ‎我們很合不來 1278 01:16:22,875 --> 01:16:24,541 ‎-我不信 ‎-是真的 1279 01:16:25,041 --> 01:16:29,041 ‎-他跟我完全不一樣 ‎-我不相信你上次說的話 1280 01:16:31,041 --> 01:16:31,875 ‎我… 1281 01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:36,333 ‎我只是想知道真相,拜託告訴我實話 1282 01:16:39,291 --> 01:16:41,250 ‎我受命成為神職人員了 1283 01:16:43,458 --> 01:16:45,500 ‎-我們可以想辦法 ‎-不行! 1284 01:16:45,583 --> 01:16:48,041 ‎我是說,這是不可能的,這樣不誠實 1285 01:16:50,833 --> 01:16:51,666 ‎也是 1286 01:16:54,833 --> 01:16:55,750 ‎我先走了 1287 01:16:55,833 --> 01:16:57,916 ‎-我送妳回家 ‎-不,我不要你送 1288 01:17:00,958 --> 01:17:02,333 ‎受命成為神職人員? 1289 01:17:03,916 --> 01:17:04,791 ‎你這個… 1290 01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:09,958 ‎親愛的 1291 01:17:10,041 --> 01:17:11,041 ‎妳要去哪裡? 1292 01:17:11,958 --> 01:17:13,666 ‎妳不該在晚上一個人出門 1293 01:17:13,750 --> 01:17:16,500 ‎妳不會怕我們吧?我們人很好 1294 01:17:16,583 --> 01:17:18,541 ‎-拜託… ‎-三人行怎麼樣? 1295 01:17:18,625 --> 01:17:20,833 ‎我給你三人行,王八蛋! 1296 01:17:20,916 --> 01:17:24,250 ‎別碰她,不然我會給你們好看 1297 01:17:26,083 --> 01:17:28,750 ‎救命! 1298 01:17:30,125 --> 01:17:31,583 ‎別起來,我們走 1299 01:17:33,083 --> 01:17:34,750 ‎你還好嗎?天啊 1300 01:17:36,208 --> 01:17:39,125 ‎你傷得很重嗎?天啊,嚇死我了 1301 01:17:39,208 --> 01:17:40,500 ‎小姐,妳是誰? 1302 01:17:41,208 --> 01:17:43,708 ‎是我,克拉拉,你不認得我嗎? 1303 01:17:45,208 --> 01:17:46,125 ‎我認得 1304 01:17:46,208 --> 01:17:47,583 ‎那兩個傢伙呢? 1305 01:17:48,083 --> 01:17:49,541 ‎立刻逃跑了 1306 01:17:49,625 --> 01:17:52,750 ‎那表示我沒有把他們解決掉 1307 01:17:53,541 --> 01:17:57,166 ‎妳知道嗎?我的人生在我眼前閃過 1308 01:17:57,250 --> 01:17:58,958 ‎在你眼前閃過?你很不舒服嗎? 1309 01:17:59,041 --> 01:18:03,208 ‎不,真有這種事 ‎這是時間膨脹,時空的彎曲 1310 01:18:03,291 --> 01:18:06,375 ‎-根據相對論… ‎-時間膨脹?我不懂 1311 01:18:06,458 --> 01:18:08,500 ‎重要的是,我明白了一件事 1312 01:18:13,916 --> 01:18:16,583 ‎-這是怎麼回事? ‎-是他們嗎? 1313 01:18:17,916 --> 01:18:19,708 ‎在戶外做愛? 1314 01:18:20,833 --> 01:18:22,083 ‎這是違法的 1315 01:18:23,666 --> 01:18:24,666 ‎我們認識你們 1316 01:18:24,750 --> 01:18:25,833 ‎我們之前見過 1317 01:18:29,416 --> 01:18:30,458 ‎又是他們 1318 01:18:47,125 --> 01:18:48,666 ‎我們完蛋了 1319 01:18:49,625 --> 01:18:51,791 ‎-柯賽斯奇會殺了我們 ‎-是啊 1320 01:18:54,250 --> 01:18:55,875 ‎更別提妳爸了 1321 01:18:56,500 --> 01:18:57,916 ‎你怎麼知道他的? 1322 01:18:58,833 --> 01:18:59,666 ‎聽我說… 1323 01:19:00,416 --> 01:19:02,833 ‎我已經12年沒見到他了 ‎我們搬家了三次 1324 01:19:02,916 --> 01:19:04,416 ‎我不想跟他有任何瓜葛 1325 01:19:04,500 --> 01:19:05,458 ‎嘿 1326 01:19:05,541 --> 01:19:06,416 ‎放輕鬆 1327 01:19:07,458 --> 01:19:08,833 ‎我相信妳 1328 01:19:11,625 --> 01:19:12,458 ‎聽我說 1329 01:19:13,750 --> 01:19:14,750 ‎妳收拾好行李 1330 01:19:15,541 --> 01:19:17,125 ‎我三小時後回來 1331 01:19:17,791 --> 01:19:19,250 ‎我們遠走高飛 1332 01:19:19,333 --> 01:19:20,708 ‎他們遲早會找到我們 1333 01:19:22,250 --> 01:19:23,916 ‎我不會讓任何人傷害妳 1334 01:19:46,541 --> 01:19:47,750 ‎早安 1335 01:19:47,833 --> 01:19:48,708 ‎早安 1336 01:19:50,875 --> 01:19:52,333 ‎抱歉,我先走了 1337 01:20:18,958 --> 01:20:19,791 ‎對不起 1338 01:20:22,041 --> 01:20:23,541 ‎有什麼好笑的? 1339 01:20:25,791 --> 01:20:27,000 ‎沒什麼 1340 01:20:28,083 --> 01:20:28,916 ‎到底怎樣啦? 1341 01:20:32,375 --> 01:20:33,375 ‎你的黑眼圈 1342 01:20:34,375 --> 01:20:35,666 ‎很適合你 1343 01:20:37,250 --> 01:20:38,083 ‎對不起,我… 1344 01:20:40,708 --> 01:20:43,250 ‎這是第一次,我從來沒…好痛! 1345 01:20:43,333 --> 01:20:45,000 ‎-等等 ‎-這是我第一次打架 1346 01:20:46,833 --> 01:20:48,500 ‎你想保護我? 1347 01:20:49,875 --> 01:20:51,708 ‎我勇敢的白馬王子 1348 01:20:54,625 --> 01:20:56,500 ‎(歐拉) 1349 01:21:06,666 --> 01:21:07,916 ‎別害怕 1350 01:21:09,333 --> 01:21:10,875 ‎婚禮結束後,你就自由了 1351 01:21:13,541 --> 01:21:15,583 ‎看著你,我好像在照鏡子 1352 01:21:15,666 --> 01:21:16,500 ‎是嗎? 1353 01:21:17,458 --> 01:21:19,375 ‎我們有什麼共同點? 1354 01:21:19,458 --> 01:21:20,916 ‎比你想的還要多 1355 01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:22,458 ‎以前的我跟現在… 1356 01:21:23,458 --> 01:21:24,291 ‎很不一樣 1357 01:21:24,791 --> 01:21:25,916 ‎我有一份好工作 1358 01:21:26,416 --> 01:21:27,833 ‎美好婚姻 1359 01:21:28,750 --> 01:21:32,041 ‎直到我的茱奇雅和她的老闆偷情 1360 01:21:32,125 --> 01:21:34,416 ‎我把她趕出去,開始酗酒 1361 01:21:35,708 --> 01:21:38,375 ‎我打算殺了他們兩個 1362 01:21:38,916 --> 01:21:41,708 ‎我越想這麼做,我就喝得越多 1363 01:21:41,791 --> 01:21:44,000 ‎但我下不了手 1364 01:21:45,166 --> 01:21:46,250 ‎然後呢? 1365 01:21:47,166 --> 01:21:48,083 ‎時間就這樣過去 1366 01:21:48,916 --> 01:21:51,000 ‎我過了九年的流浪漢生活 1367 01:21:51,541 --> 01:21:53,833 ‎我跌到谷底了,整天渾身惡臭 1368 01:21:54,500 --> 01:21:57,083 ‎有一天,我的朋友給了我一份工作 1369 01:21:57,791 --> 01:21:58,916 ‎裝修房子 1370 01:21:59,500 --> 01:22:01,208 ‎我們去到那裡,猜我看到了誰? 1371 01:22:01,750 --> 01:22:03,000 ‎茱奇雅 1372 01:22:03,666 --> 01:22:04,791 ‎我的茱奇雅 1373 01:22:05,750 --> 01:22:08,291 ‎她看起來比以前更漂亮 1374 01:22:08,375 --> 01:22:11,083 ‎-我以為我會真的心碎 ‎-她認得你嗎? 1375 01:22:11,166 --> 01:22:13,208 ‎誰會認真看工人長怎樣? 1376 01:22:13,291 --> 01:22:14,791 ‎都是她老公跟我們說話 1377 01:22:15,375 --> 01:22:18,791 ‎就是她當年偷情的那個魯蛇 1378 01:22:18,875 --> 01:22:19,833 ‎然後呢? 1379 01:22:20,750 --> 01:22:21,916 ‎你復仇了嗎? 1380 01:22:22,458 --> 01:22:23,541 ‎其實沒有 1381 01:22:23,625 --> 01:22:25,208 ‎我哭了 1382 01:22:26,291 --> 01:22:27,875 ‎她看起來… 1383 01:22:27,958 --> 01:22:29,375 ‎容光煥發 1384 01:22:30,416 --> 01:22:33,833 ‎有孩子、漂亮的房子、富裕的生活 1385 01:22:33,916 --> 01:22:35,000 ‎我覺得… 1386 01:22:35,875 --> 01:22:36,708 ‎很感恩 1387 01:22:37,291 --> 01:22:40,500 ‎我很感謝之前那個 ‎很混蛋的我並沒有毀了他 1388 01:22:43,166 --> 01:22:45,000 ‎這個故事有什麼重點嗎? 1389 01:22:46,750 --> 01:22:48,000 ‎放過歐拉吧 1390 01:22:48,083 --> 01:22:49,083 ‎因為? 1391 01:22:49,166 --> 01:22:51,750 ‎我調查過你,你是個色胚兼窮光蛋 1392 01:22:51,833 --> 01:22:53,333 ‎你能給她什麼? 1393 01:22:53,416 --> 01:22:54,250 ‎愛 1394 01:22:55,541 --> 01:22:58,291 ‎愛?你完全不知道愛是什麼 1395 01:22:58,375 --> 01:22:59,958 ‎愛跟做愛是兩回事 1396 01:23:00,041 --> 01:23:02,375 ‎不是接受,而是給予 1397 01:23:02,958 --> 01:23:04,291 ‎我有時會開車到那裡 1398 01:23:04,375 --> 01:23:07,166 ‎坐在車裡看著茱奇雅 1399 01:23:07,250 --> 01:23:08,083 ‎然後就哭了 1400 01:23:08,166 --> 01:23:10,208 ‎因為我很愛她,也很高興 1401 01:23:10,750 --> 01:23:12,583 ‎我很慶幸我沒毀了她的人生 1402 01:23:18,833 --> 01:23:20,833 ‎(監獄) 1403 01:23:20,916 --> 01:23:23,708 ‎(總統候選人伊納西柯賽斯奇 ‎帶我們邁向更光明的明天) 1404 01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:27,208 ‎-妳好 ‎-你好 1405 01:23:40,000 --> 01:23:40,916 ‎我會嫁給他 1406 01:23:41,583 --> 01:23:42,458 ‎我保證 1407 01:23:50,625 --> 01:23:51,875 ‎妳好美 1408 01:23:57,250 --> 01:23:58,375 ‎我生了一個天使 1409 01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:01,666 ‎-跟妳媽媽一模一樣 ‎-你竟敢提起她? 1410 01:24:01,750 --> 01:24:03,666 ‎你毀了她的人生,還有我的 1411 01:24:03,750 --> 01:24:05,833 ‎妳以我為恥,那也是理所當然 1412 01:24:05,916 --> 01:24:07,166 ‎但那是我的工作 1413 01:24:08,000 --> 01:24:10,500 ‎你不執行所謂的秘密任務時 ‎你曾經是個好爸爸 1414 01:24:11,000 --> 01:24:13,208 ‎我其實不相信你的秘密任務 1415 01:24:13,291 --> 01:24:15,625 ‎我11歲時,你就永遠消失了 1416 01:24:15,708 --> 01:24:17,625 ‎但我一直都留意著妳 1417 01:24:17,708 --> 01:24:18,541 ‎怎麼說? 1418 01:24:19,583 --> 01:24:21,291 ‎記得樓下那個粗魯的傢伙嗎? 1419 01:24:21,375 --> 01:24:23,041 ‎他被送進醫院了 1420 01:24:23,125 --> 01:24:26,291 ‎還是來自科莫洛村 ‎跟蹤妳的那個王八蛋? 1421 01:24:26,375 --> 01:24:27,750 ‎或者是妳的教授 1422 01:24:27,833 --> 01:24:31,375 ‎他要妳尊敬他 ‎否則就要當掉妳文化研究那門課 1423 01:24:31,458 --> 01:24:32,458 ‎記得嗎? 1424 01:24:39,291 --> 01:24:41,000 ‎我從沒跟你要求過什麼 1425 01:24:41,083 --> 01:24:43,583 ‎現在我只要求一件事,放湯美克走 1426 01:24:57,708 --> 01:24:58,666 ‎你想怎樣? 1427 01:24:59,333 --> 01:25:01,916 ‎我要跟史麥拉先生談個交易 1428 01:25:07,208 --> 01:25:08,041 ‎好痛 1429 01:25:09,916 --> 01:25:10,750 ‎待在這裡 1430 01:25:13,583 --> 01:25:14,416 ‎你也是 1431 01:25:18,875 --> 01:25:20,041 ‎你給了他什麼? 1432 01:25:20,666 --> 01:25:21,708 ‎你等一下就知道 1433 01:25:22,583 --> 01:25:24,208 ‎等一下,這不是我的手機 1434 01:25:26,791 --> 01:25:28,583 ‎-眼睛怎麼了? ‎-我墜馬了 1435 01:25:28,666 --> 01:25:29,708 ‎什麼馬? 1436 01:25:30,833 --> 01:25:34,750 ‎白馬,我披著閃亮盔甲去營救克拉拉 1437 01:25:39,166 --> 01:25:40,541 ‎真是太扯了 1438 01:25:42,875 --> 01:25:43,708 ‎對不起 1439 01:25:44,375 --> 01:25:45,250 ‎為什麼? 1440 01:25:45,958 --> 01:25:47,625 ‎因為我把你拖下水 1441 01:25:49,250 --> 01:25:51,000 ‎也很抱歉沒幫你照顧媽媽 1442 01:25:53,583 --> 01:25:55,041 ‎算了吧,你當時在念書 1443 01:25:55,125 --> 01:25:55,958 ‎不 1444 01:25:57,500 --> 01:25:58,500 ‎我很害怕 1445 01:25:58,583 --> 01:25:59,416 ‎怕什麼? 1446 01:26:01,958 --> 01:26:03,375 ‎看著她消失的感覺 1447 01:26:08,125 --> 01:26:10,583 ‎我很不爽的是,妳是她的最愛 1448 01:26:15,750 --> 01:26:16,708 ‎出去吧 1449 01:26:18,416 --> 01:26:20,708 ‎史麥拉先生祝福你 1450 01:26:26,500 --> 01:26:27,375 ‎慢一點! 1451 01:26:27,916 --> 01:26:29,500 ‎天啊,你可以開慢一點嗎? 1452 01:26:29,583 --> 01:26:31,833 ‎-你是怎麼找到我的? ‎-用衛星定位 1453 01:26:33,250 --> 01:26:35,666 ‎但你連亂穿越馬路都不肯! 1454 01:26:36,791 --> 01:26:38,250 ‎誰叫你是我哥 1455 01:26:38,333 --> 01:26:39,416 ‎還有我們的賭注 1456 01:26:39,500 --> 01:26:41,625 ‎-你贏了 ‎-我是個混蛋 1457 01:26:41,708 --> 01:26:43,166 ‎我配不上歐拉 1458 01:26:43,750 --> 01:26:45,208 ‎這倒是真的 1459 01:26:45,291 --> 01:26:47,375 ‎但他們更配不上她 1460 01:26:47,458 --> 01:26:48,958 ‎我手機上有證據 1461 01:26:50,333 --> 01:26:52,375 ‎華沙的皇家城堡 1462 01:26:52,458 --> 01:26:54,125 ‎這裡是皮亞斯特王朝的搖籃 1463 01:26:54,208 --> 01:26:58,125 ‎被入侵者,也就是現今的歐盟 ‎入侵並多次摧毀 1464 01:26:58,208 --> 01:27:01,041 ‎不過它今天將見證歡樂的現代歷史 1465 01:27:01,125 --> 01:27:04,250 ‎真正的波蘭愛國者,柯賽斯奇部長 1466 01:27:04,333 --> 01:27:06,291 ‎將在此舉辦家族喜事 1467 01:27:13,083 --> 01:27:15,333 ‎你不能看到她,這樣會有噩運 1468 01:27:15,416 --> 01:27:16,583 ‎-媽… ‎-我們進去吧 1469 01:27:16,666 --> 01:27:18,583 ‎別頂嘴,我們進去吧 1470 01:27:19,208 --> 01:27:20,041 ‎伊納西 1471 01:27:27,416 --> 01:27:28,375 ‎怎麼回事? 1472 01:27:29,166 --> 01:27:30,125 ‎別慌 1473 01:27:30,708 --> 01:27:33,333 ‎深呼吸,吸氣,吸氣 1474 01:27:33,416 --> 01:27:35,041 ‎歐拉,妳猶豫了嗎? 1475 01:27:36,791 --> 01:27:37,625 ‎外婆 1476 01:27:44,125 --> 01:27:45,416 ‎來… 1477 01:27:48,958 --> 01:27:50,166 ‎小心! 1478 01:27:52,458 --> 01:27:53,291 ‎(請繞道) 1479 01:27:53,375 --> 01:27:54,583 ‎往那邊開 1480 01:27:59,958 --> 01:28:01,291 ‎快點,女孩們 1481 01:28:01,375 --> 01:28:03,625 ‎現在整個脫離行程了 1482 01:28:03,708 --> 01:28:05,708 ‎-怎麼了嗎? ‎-不,我只是… 1483 01:28:05,791 --> 01:28:08,583 ‎-妳改變心意了? ‎-不,我得告訴你一件事 1484 01:28:09,166 --> 01:28:11,625 ‎-妳不必說 ‎-但我們得… 1485 01:28:11,708 --> 01:28:14,958 ‎我們必須相信彼此,不能有秘密 1486 01:28:15,041 --> 01:28:17,125 ‎-大家都有秘密 ‎-你有事情瞞著我? 1487 01:28:17,208 --> 01:28:18,416 ‎-當然 ‎-太好了 1488 01:28:18,500 --> 01:28:20,541 ‎-又怎麼了? ‎-我沒辦法走了 1489 01:28:21,500 --> 01:28:25,541 ‎-那是個壞兆頭,壞徵兆 ‎-伯母,別逼我揍妳 1490 01:28:25,625 --> 01:28:26,458 ‎運動鞋! 1491 01:28:27,041 --> 01:28:27,916 ‎太好了! 1492 01:28:28,000 --> 01:28:31,125 ‎借來的東西能帶來好運,抵銷掉噩運 1493 01:28:31,208 --> 01:28:32,208 ‎快點! 1494 01:28:35,208 --> 01:28:38,000 ‎-響了嗎? ‎-對,但沒有人接 1495 01:28:38,083 --> 01:28:39,375 ‎再打一次 1496 01:28:40,541 --> 01:28:42,083 ‎-快點打 ‎-我在打了 1497 01:28:44,375 --> 01:28:45,541 ‎沒人接,可以嗎? 1498 01:28:46,041 --> 01:28:49,208 ‎-那就再打一次 ‎-我在打了,你看不出來嗎? 1499 01:28:50,125 --> 01:28:51,541 ‎還是婚禮已經開始了? 1500 01:28:52,041 --> 01:28:53,208 ‎門都沒有! 1501 01:28:54,208 --> 01:28:55,375 ‎婚禮的日子 1502 01:28:55,458 --> 01:28:57,458 ‎正是具有象徵意義的波蘭受洗日 1503 01:28:57,541 --> 01:29:00,583 ‎也是波蘭教宗若望保祿二世 ‎最後一次回到祖國的日子 1504 01:29:00,666 --> 01:29:03,041 ‎國家重要人士皆會出席 1505 01:29:03,125 --> 01:29:05,875 ‎包括黨主席和他的貓 ‎主教、政府官員 1506 01:29:05,958 --> 01:29:08,208 ‎以及國營公司最富有的幾位執行長 1507 01:29:08,291 --> 01:29:10,583 ‎當然也少不了新娘和新郎 1508 01:29:30,250 --> 01:29:32,291 ‎什麼?你要放棄嗎? 1509 01:29:33,250 --> 01:29:34,958 ‎你要放棄?老兄! 1510 01:29:36,250 --> 01:29:40,166 ‎你是穿著閃亮盔甲的崔斯坦 1511 01:29:40,250 --> 01:29:42,916 ‎你看不出我的愛馬剛剛翹辮子了嗎? 1512 01:29:43,000 --> 01:29:44,333 ‎所以你就要放棄嗎? 1513 01:29:56,416 --> 01:29:59,125 ‎莎樂美修女剛剛來到我們的攝影棚 1514 01:29:59,208 --> 01:30:01,625 ‎她是波蘭傳統婚禮的顧問 1515 01:30:01,708 --> 01:30:03,500 ‎願主保佑您,修女 1516 01:30:04,291 --> 01:30:08,291 ‎在今年最盛大的婚禮 ‎也就是柯賽斯奇家的喜事中 1517 01:30:08,375 --> 01:30:12,416 ‎碧昂絲將會用英文 ‎獻唱《主,祢親自來到湖邊》 1518 01:30:12,916 --> 01:30:14,291 ‎修女,您覺得這樣好嗎? 1519 01:30:14,375 --> 01:30:17,666 ‎她難道不該用波蘭語 1520 01:30:17,750 --> 01:30:20,166 ‎演唱這首重要的波蘭歌曲嗎? 1521 01:30:20,250 --> 01:30:23,250 ‎現在不是時候,真的,別再看了 1522 01:30:24,708 --> 01:30:25,541 ‎現在不行 1523 01:30:43,583 --> 01:30:47,291 ‎在皇家城堡中 ‎舉辦私人派對是否合適? 1524 01:30:47,375 --> 01:30:48,500 ‎不,很不妥 1525 01:30:48,583 --> 01:30:50,583 ‎這是在嘲笑波蘭人民 1526 01:30:50,666 --> 01:30:54,208 ‎這個政府的傲慢程度簡直無法無天 1527 01:30:57,375 --> 01:30:58,875 ‎把那架無人機處理掉 1528 01:31:04,916 --> 01:31:07,625 ‎先生,這個垃圾多少錢? 1529 01:31:08,833 --> 01:31:09,833 ‎你能付多少? 1530 01:31:11,250 --> 01:31:12,083 ‎一百? 1531 01:31:13,500 --> 01:31:15,750 ‎-還不夠 ‎-那連50塊都不值 1532 01:31:16,416 --> 01:31:18,833 ‎市場規則,需求創造供給 1533 01:31:19,333 --> 01:31:20,208 ‎好,兩百塊 1534 01:31:20,708 --> 01:31:21,541 ‎不夠 1535 01:31:23,583 --> 01:31:25,708 ‎這裡,我只有這些 1536 01:31:26,708 --> 01:31:28,791 ‎好吧! 1537 01:31:29,916 --> 01:31:30,750 ‎給你吧 1538 01:31:33,375 --> 01:31:35,041 ‎(亞達雜貨店) 1539 01:31:35,125 --> 01:31:36,250 ‎搞屁啊? 1540 01:31:37,000 --> 01:31:38,708 ‎-我的腳踏車呢? ‎-在那裡 1541 01:31:41,583 --> 01:31:42,500 ‎萬福瑪利亞… 1542 01:31:45,458 --> 01:31:46,291 ‎哈… 1543 01:31:47,208 --> 01:31:48,375 ‎利路亞! 1544 01:31:49,583 --> 01:31:52,125 ‎讚美主,歡喜快樂 1545 01:31:54,250 --> 01:31:56,500 ‎因為今天 1546 01:31:57,208 --> 01:31:58,916 ‎在主的見證下 1547 01:31:59,416 --> 01:32:02,250 ‎兩個年輕人將永遠結為連理 1548 01:32:16,666 --> 01:32:22,333 ‎我若能說萬人的方言,並天使的話語 1549 01:32:23,083 --> 01:32:30,083 ‎卻沒有愛 1550 01:32:31,791 --> 01:32:37,583 ‎我就成了鳴的鑼 1551 01:32:37,666 --> 01:32:40,958 ‎響的鈸一般 1552 01:32:42,750 --> 01:32:45,166 ‎-你能帶我去另一邊嗎? ‎-當然可以 1553 01:32:45,250 --> 01:32:46,083 ‎太好了 1554 01:32:46,166 --> 01:32:47,125 ‎下午3點 1555 01:32:48,791 --> 01:32:50,875 ‎下午3點就結束了,太遲了 1556 01:32:54,000 --> 01:32:54,916 ‎可惡,我的… 1557 01:32:55,833 --> 01:32:58,458 ‎我愛的人要結婚了 1558 01:33:10,541 --> 01:33:11,541 ‎那好吧 1559 01:33:16,333 --> 01:33:23,250 ‎愛是恆久忍耐,滿有恩慈 1560 01:33:23,333 --> 01:33:24,791 ‎你看得到那股旋流嗎? 1561 01:33:24,875 --> 01:33:26,500 ‎有一對戀人淹死在那裡 1562 01:33:26,583 --> 01:33:27,500 ‎為愛而死 1563 01:33:28,916 --> 01:33:30,958 ‎有看到那棵樹嗎? 1564 01:33:31,041 --> 01:33:31,916 ‎非常漂亮 1565 01:33:32,416 --> 01:33:36,166 ‎磨坊主人的女兒 ‎和木匠的兒子在那裡上吊 1566 01:33:36,250 --> 01:33:37,833 ‎也是為愛而死 1567 01:33:38,375 --> 01:33:41,041 ‎還有那邊,有個男人在那上吊自殺 1568 01:33:41,125 --> 01:33:43,583 ‎他想說服一個女孩逃婚,結果沒成功 1569 01:33:43,666 --> 01:33:44,541 ‎太棒了 1570 01:33:47,333 --> 01:33:49,375 ‎我是不知道他媽的棒不棒啦 1571 01:33:52,125 --> 01:33:54,916 ‎跟著我重複誓言 1572 01:33:56,541 --> 01:33:57,791 ‎我,布洛尼斯瓦 1573 01:34:00,833 --> 01:34:01,875 ‎來,重複 1574 01:34:02,375 --> 01:34:03,791 ‎我,布洛尼斯瓦 1575 01:34:04,375 --> 01:34:05,208 ‎我,克里斯廷 1576 01:34:07,708 --> 01:34:09,125 ‎-克里斯廷? ‎-克里斯廷 1577 01:34:09,791 --> 01:34:11,041 ‎那就繼續跟著我唸 1578 01:34:11,583 --> 01:34:12,708 ‎你,克里斯廷 1579 01:34:13,541 --> 01:34:14,541 ‎我,克里斯廷 1580 01:34:14,625 --> 01:34:16,500 ‎娶妳… 1581 01:34:17,208 --> 01:34:18,041 ‎亞歷珊德拉 1582 01:34:18,125 --> 01:34:20,000 ‎亞歷珊德拉為合法的妻子 1583 01:34:20,083 --> 01:34:22,708 ‎娶妳,亞歷珊德拉為合法的妻子 1584 01:34:22,791 --> 01:34:23,750 ‎我向妳保證… 1585 01:34:25,041 --> 01:34:25,875 ‎會愛妳 1586 01:34:25,958 --> 01:34:28,583 ‎對妳誠實和忠誠 1587 01:34:28,666 --> 01:34:33,125 ‎我向妳保證會愛妳,對妳誠實和忠誠 1588 01:34:33,833 --> 01:34:35,083 ‎現在換妳跟著唸 1589 01:34:37,500 --> 01:34:39,208 ‎嘿,老兄 1590 01:34:40,250 --> 01:34:41,208 ‎真是個白痴 1591 01:34:43,166 --> 01:34:44,583 ‎我,亞歷珊德拉 1592 01:34:45,458 --> 01:34:47,166 ‎將你,湯瑪斯… 1593 01:34:50,458 --> 01:34:51,708 ‎當成我的合法丈夫 1594 01:34:56,916 --> 01:34:58,500 ‎哈利路亞 1595 01:34:58,583 --> 01:35:00,625 ‎-哈利路亞 ‎-哈利路亞 1596 01:35:08,541 --> 01:35:12,916 ‎你們是出於自己的意願 ‎結為連理的嗎? 1597 01:35:13,000 --> 01:35:14,000 ‎不! 1598 01:35:26,833 --> 01:35:28,583 ‎現在你們可以… 1599 01:35:30,625 --> 01:35:32,000 ‎哈利路亞 1600 01:35:40,333 --> 01:35:41,625 ‎不! 1601 01:35:45,375 --> 01:35:46,583 ‎你這是在騙她 1602 01:35:50,750 --> 01:35:52,375 ‎我需要坐一下 1603 01:35:52,958 --> 01:35:53,875 ‎他不愛妳 1604 01:35:58,625 --> 01:35:59,458 ‎對不起 1605 01:36:11,375 --> 01:36:13,625 ‎哈利路亞! 1606 01:36:24,708 --> 01:36:26,916 ‎小心開車,白痴! 1607 01:36:28,500 --> 01:36:29,333 ‎喂! 1608 01:36:39,375 --> 01:36:40,250 ‎快開車! 1609 01:36:59,000 --> 01:36:59,958 ‎我要寄出去了 1610 01:37:26,875 --> 01:37:28,083 ‎你是怎麼弄到的? 1611 01:37:28,750 --> 01:37:29,833 ‎所以妳早就知道? 1612 01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:32,666 ‎妳打從一開始就知道 1613 01:37:33,250 --> 01:37:34,083 ‎當然了 1614 01:37:34,875 --> 01:37:36,125 ‎妳怎麼能逼他? 1615 01:37:36,208 --> 01:37:38,875 ‎你怎麼能這樣對他們?妳還是人嗎? 1616 01:37:38,958 --> 01:37:40,000 ‎你想怎樣? 1617 01:37:40,083 --> 01:37:40,958 ‎三件事 1618 01:37:41,041 --> 01:37:43,458 ‎第一,婚禮沒有發生過 1619 01:37:44,041 --> 01:37:45,250 ‎但確實發生了 1620 01:37:45,333 --> 01:37:48,500 ‎如果神父不把文件交給登記處就沒有 1621 01:37:50,375 --> 01:37:51,208 ‎好吧 1622 01:37:52,416 --> 01:37:55,000 ‎那個俗女根本配不上小克 1623 01:37:55,083 --> 01:37:57,791 ‎第二,赦免史麥拉 1624 01:37:59,333 --> 01:38:00,416 ‎史麥拉是誰? 1625 01:38:00,500 --> 01:38:01,875 ‎問妳老公 1626 01:38:03,833 --> 01:38:07,000 ‎第三,柯賽斯奇要退出明天的選舉 1627 01:38:09,541 --> 01:38:10,916 ‎你瘋了嗎? 1628 01:38:11,625 --> 01:38:12,458 ‎但是… 1629 01:38:13,166 --> 01:38:14,916 ‎勝負早就已經決定了 1630 01:38:15,000 --> 01:38:16,666 ‎我老公會贏 1631 01:38:16,750 --> 01:38:17,583 ‎這個嘛… 1632 01:38:18,083 --> 01:38:21,708 ‎波蘭人民只能承受這慘痛的損失了 1633 01:38:22,666 --> 01:38:23,666 ‎那婚禮呢? 1634 01:38:24,833 --> 01:38:27,791 ‎我整個盛大的婚禮呢? 1635 01:39:19,458 --> 01:39:23,458 ‎我願意! 1636 01:39:27,333 --> 01:39:28,166 ‎克拉拉 1637 01:39:29,666 --> 01:39:31,375 ‎我願意… 1638 01:39:33,250 --> 01:39:34,083 ‎好痛 1639 01:39:41,958 --> 01:39:43,833 ‎請跟著我唸 1640 01:39:43,916 --> 01:39:44,875 ‎我,小克 1641 01:39:45,500 --> 01:39:46,333 ‎我,小克 1642 01:39:46,416 --> 01:39:49,208 ‎將你,艾卓安,當成我的合法丈夫 1643 01:39:49,875 --> 01:39:51,000 ‎…當成我的合法丈夫 1644 01:39:52,166 --> 01:39:53,958 ‎你可以親吻你的丈夫了 1645 01:41:07,416 --> 01:41:08,291 ‎終於! 1646 01:41:09,500 --> 01:41:12,000 ‎“奇怪的波蘭婚禮”獎項 1647 01:41:12,083 --> 01:41:14,250 ‎奧斯卡最佳導演獎 ‎得獎的是《親親偷心人》 1648 01:41:14,333 --> 01:41:15,208 ‎就是我! 1649 01:41:15,291 --> 01:41:19,583 ‎不要再拍了,拍那邊! ‎出車禍了,他毀了我的車 1650 01:41:20,083 --> 01:41:22,000 ‎抓住那個壞蛋! 1651 01:41:22,500 --> 01:41:23,958 ‎你看什麼看? 1652 01:41:24,041 --> 01:41:24,875 ‎什麼? 1653 01:46:14,958 --> 01:46:17,166 ‎字幕翻譯:林婉婷