1
00:00:05,966 --> 00:00:09,844
[Harriet] With Ole Golly gone,
I thought I'd be a basket case.
2
00:00:09,844 --> 00:00:12,764
But weirdly, I was feeling great.
3
00:00:13,348 --> 00:00:15,850
You know when you first get
into a new car,
4
00:00:15,850 --> 00:00:19,271
- and you smell that new car smell?
- [inhales deeply]
5
00:00:19,271 --> 00:00:22,274
It kinda felt
like my whole life had that smell.
6
00:00:22,816 --> 00:00:24,985
To give myself a final test,
7
00:00:24,985 --> 00:00:28,321
I decided to open the door
to Ole Golly's old bedroom.
8
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,663
If I didn't start weeping
and pulling my hair out,
9
00:00:36,663 --> 00:00:41,501
that would mean I was ready
to begin the age of Harriet.
10
00:00:43,795 --> 00:00:45,171
Thank you very much.
11
00:00:45,171 --> 00:00:47,090
[chomps] Mmm.
12
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:48,633
Good morning, Harriet.
13
00:00:48,633 --> 00:00:51,469
[slurps] Top of the morning
to ya, Harriet.
14
00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:54,264
How's my favorite daughter
this fine morning?
15
00:00:54,264 --> 00:00:57,517
[Harriet] You can always tell
how worried your parents are about you...
16
00:00:57,517 --> 00:01:00,729
[chuckles] Don't worry
about your famous tomato sandwich.
17
00:01:00,729 --> 00:01:03,732
[Harriet]
...by how weirdly chipper they are.
18
00:01:03,732 --> 00:01:06,276
Super Mom is on the case.
19
00:01:07,986 --> 00:01:11,364
Actually, Super Mom,
I like it on the diagonal.
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00:01:11,948 --> 00:01:13,658
[stammers] Of course.
Of course. [chuckles]
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00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,869
How could I forget? [chuckles] Just-- Mmm.
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00:01:15,869 --> 00:01:19,414
Practice makes perfect. [laughs, sighs]
23
00:01:19,414 --> 00:01:24,961
Mom, it was a great 5,027 sandwich ride
with Ole Golly,
24
00:01:24,961 --> 00:01:28,798
but now it's time to move on
and try something new.
25
00:01:28,798 --> 00:01:31,009
- Like hot lunch. [chomps]
- [sighs]
26
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That is a great idea.
27
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[chews] I've got a million of them.
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Gotta go.
29
00:01:38,308 --> 00:01:42,979
Mmm, can't beat that new life smell.
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{\an8}♪ I just wanna be
You just wanna be ♪
31
00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:48,860
♪ We just wanna be ♪
32
00:01:49,736 --> 00:01:51,988
♪ I am gonna be who I wanna be ♪
33
00:01:51,988 --> 00:01:54,407
♪ My autonomy ♪
34
00:01:54,407 --> 00:01:57,410
♪ No, I won't cut my hair ♪
35
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:59,579
♪ And I'll wear whatever ♪
36
00:01:59,579 --> 00:02:06,002
♪ I like it when I get to be myself ♪
37
00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:08,504
♪ I don't wanna be
You don't wanna be ♪
38
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:15,262
{\an8}♪ We don't wanna be told what to do ♪
39
00:02:16,555 --> 00:02:20,976
[Harriet] I decided I needed a theme song
to launch the age of Harriet.
40
00:02:21,560 --> 00:02:23,520
[radio interference]
41
00:02:25,230 --> 00:02:26,314
Kaboom.
42
00:02:26,314 --> 00:02:28,316
["I Got You" plays]
43
00:02:42,247 --> 00:02:43,248
[horn sounds]
44
00:02:43,248 --> 00:02:44,708
[song continues]
45
00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:48,712
[dog barks]
46
00:02:51,423 --> 00:02:53,133
[barking continues]
47
00:03:08,732 --> 00:03:09,900
[coughing]
48
00:03:12,903 --> 00:03:14,821
- [bell rings]
- [Harriet humming]
49
00:03:14,821 --> 00:03:18,617
[humming continues]
50
00:03:19,618 --> 00:03:20,619
Are you okay?
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00:03:20,619 --> 00:03:21,912
Never better.
52
00:03:21,912 --> 00:03:23,496
"Never better," never better?
53
00:03:23,496 --> 00:03:25,248
Or never better, "I miss Ole Golly,
54
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and I'ma start crying
and screaming like a loon?"
55
00:03:27,417 --> 00:03:29,502
- [babbles]
- What are you doing?
56
00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:33,256
Trying to touch my nose
with my tongue.
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00:03:33,256 --> 00:03:34,799
Never done it before.
58
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:39,012
Good morning, my brave young thespians.
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00:03:39,012 --> 00:03:41,389
Cool! I did it.
60
00:03:41,389 --> 00:03:43,350
Class has begun, Harriet.
61
00:03:43,350 --> 00:03:45,143
Sorry, Ms. Elson.
62
00:03:45,143 --> 00:03:49,648
As you all know,
Fall Harvest Day is almost here.
63
00:03:49,648 --> 00:03:53,068
Time for us to celebrate
with our annual class play.
64
00:03:53,068 --> 00:03:55,528
Now, who has an idea?
65
00:03:57,614 --> 00:03:58,448
Pfft.
66
00:03:58,448 --> 00:03:59,866
[Harriet] Why bother?
67
00:03:59,866 --> 00:04:02,911
Every year, Ms. Elson asked
for suggestions,
68
00:04:02,911 --> 00:04:06,998
and every year she always picked one
of Marion's crummy ideas.
69
00:04:06,998 --> 00:04:10,585
Everyone had a theory
for why Ms. Elson couldn't say no
70
00:04:10,585 --> 00:04:11,586
to Marion.
71
00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:14,923
- Two words. Mind--
- Control.
72
00:04:14,923 --> 00:04:19,636
I heard that Marion bribes her...
[whispers] ...with Tater Tots.
73
00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,806
Why are you asking me? I-I don't know.
74
00:04:22,806 --> 00:04:24,933
[stammers]
Why would you think I would know?
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00:04:25,892 --> 00:04:27,602
[whispers] Actually, I heard that--
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00:04:27,602 --> 00:04:28,895
[Marion] Ahem.
77
00:04:29,521 --> 00:04:30,564
Hi, Marion.
78
00:04:30,564 --> 00:04:33,024
I was just keeping the seat warm
for ya. [chuckles]
79
00:04:33,817 --> 00:04:35,277
I think we're done now.
80
00:04:35,777 --> 00:04:38,989
Let's do something with pirates. Or bears.
81
00:04:38,989 --> 00:04:41,575
Oh, how about Madam Curie
and her husband discovering radium
82
00:04:41,575 --> 00:04:42,659
and true love?
83
00:04:42,659 --> 00:04:44,661
Or pirates and bears.
84
00:04:45,245 --> 00:04:47,998
Since the holiday celebrates
the coming of winter,
85
00:04:47,998 --> 00:04:50,292
why don't we do something
about keeping warm?
86
00:04:50,292 --> 00:04:53,336
Yeah, we could do a salute to mittens.
87
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:56,715
Or when you stand above a subway grate
when the train goes by,
88
00:04:56,715 --> 00:04:59,759
and that warm wind blows up your pants.
89
00:04:59,759 --> 00:05:01,761
That's what I was gonna say.
90
00:05:01,761 --> 00:05:03,889
- Same--
- Wavelength.
91
00:05:03,889 --> 00:05:06,516
Hmm. Anyone else?
92
00:05:07,017 --> 00:05:09,311
[Harriet] What can I say?
There's a first for everything.
93
00:05:09,936 --> 00:05:11,229
Yes, Harriet.
94
00:05:11,730 --> 00:05:15,650
{\an8}Since we always have a big roast chicken
for dinner on Fall Harvest Day
95
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:18,528
{\an8}and we're studying the Trojan War
in history,
96
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:22,157
what if we make a big Trojan chicken
that the Greeks gift to the Trojans?
97
00:05:22,157 --> 00:05:24,117
And just when they're ready to chow down,
98
00:05:24,117 --> 00:05:26,077
- they all get sneak attacked.
- [chicken squawks]
99
00:05:27,871 --> 00:05:29,372
Hmm.
100
00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:33,293
[Harriet] I could see it now.
My play would be a hit at school,
101
00:05:33,293 --> 00:05:34,419
then go to Broadway,
102
00:05:34,419 --> 00:05:36,755
then Montreal
where Ole Golly would see it.
103
00:05:40,217 --> 00:05:44,262
Marion,
stop keeping us in suspense. [laughs]
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00:05:44,930 --> 00:05:48,225
I suggest we honor the holiday
by being all the things we eat
105
00:05:48,225 --> 00:05:49,601
at the Fall Harvest feast.
106
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:52,771
It's topical, original,
and... [sighs] ...besides,
107
00:05:52,771 --> 00:05:55,065
I already wrote the whole play.
108
00:05:55,565 --> 00:05:57,859
[Harriet] Clearly,
Ms. Elson had not heard the news
109
00:05:57,859 --> 00:06:01,238
that this was the age of Harriet.
110
00:06:02,072 --> 00:06:03,907
Brava, Marion.
111
00:06:03,907 --> 00:06:06,993
[Ms. Elson] I'm guessing you'd like
to play the roasted chicken.
112
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:08,995
Perfect.
113
00:06:08,995 --> 00:06:14,000
Rachel and Beth Ellen,
I see you two as the drumsticks.
114
00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:18,129
Mr. Matthews and Pinky,
you can be the yams.
115
00:06:18,129 --> 00:06:22,217
Carrie, I see you as a brussels sprout.
116
00:06:22,217 --> 00:06:25,804
Janie and Sport would make
wonderful Tater Tots.
117
00:06:25,804 --> 00:06:30,892
Harriet, what would you say
about being the onion?
118
00:06:32,686 --> 00:06:38,233
I would say, "No, no, no,
no, no, no, and no. PS. No."
119
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:42,320
Oh, oh, no, no, no.
Harriet, that's ridiculous.
120
00:06:42,320 --> 00:06:44,739
Onions are beautiful.
121
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:47,075
They're stinky, and they make people cry.
122
00:06:47,659 --> 00:06:50,287
There's a lot more than meets the eye.
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00:06:51,329 --> 00:06:52,497
[groans]
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00:06:58,128 --> 00:06:59,921
- [thuds]
- Ow.
125
00:07:00,630 --> 00:07:02,632
Wha-- [sighs] What are you trying to do?
126
00:07:02,632 --> 00:07:05,677
Ah, Ms. Elson told me
that to truly be an onion,
127
00:07:05,677 --> 00:07:09,180
you have to learn to fall
in a rolling way like an onion does.
128
00:07:11,016 --> 00:07:12,642
Who-- Ow.
129
00:07:12,642 --> 00:07:15,020
Oh, is this for the Fall Harvest play?
130
00:07:15,020 --> 00:07:18,648
No, I'm being an onion just
for the heck of it.
131
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,609
[scoffs] I was just asking.
132
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,946
Whoa, what's going on here?
133
00:07:24,946 --> 00:07:26,489
[sighs] She's being an onion.
134
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,992
A good director would say
that to be an onion,
135
00:07:28,992 --> 00:07:30,994
you have to feel like an onion.
136
00:07:30,994 --> 00:07:33,288
Do you feel like an onion?
137
00:07:33,288 --> 00:07:35,457
[sighs] Not in the least.
138
00:07:36,833 --> 00:07:39,502
Honey, you need to feel like an onion.
139
00:07:40,420 --> 00:07:42,255
I don't want to be an onion.
140
00:07:42,255 --> 00:07:43,632
And it's a good thing.
141
00:07:43,632 --> 00:07:46,009
How many parts are written
for onions these days?
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00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:47,510
[chuckles] You're so smart.
143
00:07:47,510 --> 00:07:50,180
Let's see you fall
in a rolling way like an onion.
144
00:07:50,180 --> 00:07:52,015
Don't mind if I do.
145
00:07:52,015 --> 00:07:54,643
[grunting]
146
00:07:54,643 --> 00:07:56,144
Ow.
147
00:07:56,144 --> 00:07:58,605
[Harriet and Mrs. Welsch laughing]
148
00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:02,651
- Are you feeling like an onion?
- [phone beeping]
149
00:08:02,651 --> 00:08:05,570
I'm trying to,
but closest I can get is a scallion.
150
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:07,447
[laughs] Sorry.
151
00:08:07,447 --> 00:08:10,367
If you think it's so funny,
why don't you give it a try?
152
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:12,327
Maybe I will.
153
00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,876
[Harriet] Now that I've been an onion,
154
00:08:19,876 --> 00:08:22,796
I wonder what it would be like
to be a table.
155
00:08:22,796 --> 00:08:25,465
- Or a bathtub. Or another person.
- [Mr. and Mrs. Welsch chattering]
156
00:08:25,465 --> 00:08:26,800
- [thud]
- [Mr. and Mrs. Welsch shout]
157
00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:28,510
Ow.
158
00:08:29,177 --> 00:08:30,178
[laughs]
159
00:08:30,762 --> 00:08:33,306
[Harriet] I wonder
what Ole Golly would say to that.
160
00:08:34,849 --> 00:08:37,726
Ole Golly kinda looked like a bird
with teeth,
161
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:40,772
but I think I really look a little
like an onion.
162
00:08:41,273 --> 00:08:45,527
After that disaster,
I decided that to fully onionize myself,
163
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,238
I needed to do more research.
164
00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:51,575
Because I have a higher sulfur content,
165
00:08:51,575 --> 00:08:55,537
the yellow onion is known
for having a more complex flavor.
166
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,498
Because I have a low sulfur content,
167
00:08:58,498 --> 00:09:02,878
the Bermuda onion is famous
for having a much sweeter taste.
168
00:09:02,878 --> 00:09:05,672
Don't listen to those doofuses.
169
00:09:05,672 --> 00:09:09,426
If you want a sweeter taste
and a more complex flavor,
170
00:09:09,426 --> 00:09:11,386
you got one choice. The--
171
00:09:11,386 --> 00:09:13,597
- The Bermuda onion.
- No, the--
172
00:09:13,597 --> 00:09:15,974
Yellow onion. In your face.
173
00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:17,100
[both laugh]
174
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:19,352
No, the Vidalia.
175
00:09:20,186 --> 00:09:22,314
[Harriet] Then, I got some books out
at the library
176
00:09:22,314 --> 00:09:25,442
and learned all kinds
of fascinating stuff.
177
00:09:25,442 --> 00:09:29,863
Did you know that New York City used
to be called the Big Onion?
178
00:09:29,863 --> 00:09:32,324
Because it was a place
where you could peel off
179
00:09:32,324 --> 00:09:35,994
layer after layer
without ever reaching its core.
180
00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:39,873
Or that the ancient Egyptians
worshipped the onion.
181
00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:42,417
And believed its spherical shape
182
00:09:42,417 --> 00:09:46,296
and concentric circles
symbolized eternity.
183
00:09:46,296 --> 00:09:47,756
The more I read,
184
00:09:47,756 --> 00:09:52,219
the more I began to understand
one of Ole Golly's famous quotes.
185
00:09:52,719 --> 00:09:54,304
Dostoyevsky said,
186
00:09:54,304 --> 00:09:56,306
"If you love everything,
187
00:09:56,306 --> 00:10:00,018
you will perceive the divine mystery
in all things."
188
00:10:07,734 --> 00:10:10,237
[Harriet] The next day
when we got our costumes,
189
00:10:10,237 --> 00:10:12,447
I wondered
what Dostoyevsky would have said
190
00:10:12,447 --> 00:10:16,034
if he had seen me
in my ridiculous onion costume.
191
00:10:16,034 --> 00:10:18,745
At least it had a secret pocket
to hide my notebook.
192
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:21,706
- And it didn't make me itch like a maniac.
- [grunting, panting]
193
00:10:21,706 --> 00:10:24,042
Or Carrie Andrews'
brussels sprout costume,
194
00:10:24,042 --> 00:10:27,754
which seemed okay except
for one bizarre detail.
195
00:10:27,754 --> 00:10:30,507
[sniffing] Ugh.
196
00:10:30,507 --> 00:10:33,426
Why does this thing smell
like brussels sprouts?
197
00:10:34,511 --> 00:10:38,139
[Harriet] Pinky and Purple Socks arrived
in their matching yam costumes.
198
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:40,308
You look "yam-tastic." [laughs]
199
00:10:40,308 --> 00:10:43,562
You look "yam-tabulous." [laughs]
200
00:10:46,189 --> 00:10:48,567
[Harriet] Rachel and Beth Ellen
came as drumsticks.
201
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:51,778
I'm gonna fall. Catch me. [shouts]
202
00:10:51,778 --> 00:10:55,031
- Right. Sorry, Beth Ellen. No arms.
- [sighs]
203
00:10:55,782 --> 00:10:57,242
[Harriet] As you might expect,
204
00:10:57,242 --> 00:11:03,123
Marion's chicken roast costume was
by far the most fabulous.
205
00:11:03,123 --> 00:11:08,503
What? Doesn't everyone have a great aunt
who makes costumes for Broadway plays?
206
00:11:09,462 --> 00:11:10,505
Oh! [chuckles]
207
00:11:10,505 --> 00:11:16,386
First of all, let me say,
you all look good enough to eat.
208
00:11:16,386 --> 00:11:19,097
[laughs] Good enough to eat.
209
00:11:19,097 --> 00:11:21,850
[Rachel] Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wh--
210
00:11:21,850 --> 00:11:24,519
[grunting]
211
00:11:24,519 --> 00:11:29,482
[sighs] You gonna help me up,
or do I have to put you on the list?
212
00:11:30,150 --> 00:11:32,402
[Harriet] Rachel had a long list
of all the people
213
00:11:32,402 --> 00:11:35,196
she was going to eventually
get revenge on.
214
00:11:35,196 --> 00:11:36,698
[Rachel] Mr. Horatio.
215
00:11:37,699 --> 00:11:39,409
Thanks, Mr. Horatio.
216
00:11:39,409 --> 00:11:40,702
You're welcome.
217
00:11:41,286 --> 00:11:43,997
[strains] Yeah. Okay, I got you.
I got you.
218
00:11:43,997 --> 00:11:47,375
There we go, Rachel. No harm done.
219
00:11:47,375 --> 00:11:49,628
[whimpers] Help.
220
00:11:49,628 --> 00:11:54,424
For our first rehearsal,
let's begin by asking ourselves,
221
00:11:54,424 --> 00:11:58,720
"What's the first step in learning
to become our characters?"
222
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:04,017
For me, it's really about digging deep
and getting to know my character.
223
00:12:04,017 --> 00:12:08,521
My, Harriet,
aren't you just the master thespian?
224
00:12:08,521 --> 00:12:13,652
Actually,
I think that's good advice, Harriet.
225
00:12:13,652 --> 00:12:19,783
Let's all spend a little time
getting to know our characters.
226
00:12:22,452 --> 00:12:24,454
Sorry, Beth Ellen, didn't see you there.
227
00:12:24,454 --> 00:12:25,914
[sighs]
228
00:12:28,250 --> 00:12:29,084
[Ms. Elson laughs]
229
00:12:29,084 --> 00:12:31,294
Oh, oh, oh, careful now.
230
00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,171
The chicken needs her drumsticks.
231
00:12:34,089 --> 00:12:36,925
- [struggling] Whoa. Whoa.
- [Beth Ellen screams]
232
00:12:36,925 --> 00:12:39,010
[groans] Get off of me.
233
00:12:39,010 --> 00:12:41,304
[Harriet] By the end of our first week
of rehearsals,
234
00:12:41,304 --> 00:12:44,766
I became the unofficial leader
of the side dishes.
235
00:12:44,766 --> 00:12:46,518
I know we're only side dishes.
236
00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:49,729
But if we stick together,
we can make a difference.
237
00:12:50,939 --> 00:12:52,274
[both] Deal with it!
238
00:12:53,650 --> 00:12:57,404
Uh, Ms. Elson,
Harriet is writing new lines for my play.
239
00:12:59,406 --> 00:13:03,243
It's a great script, Marion.
240
00:13:03,243 --> 00:13:07,831
I just think that the side dishes
can have more of a voice.
241
00:13:07,831 --> 00:13:09,124
May I have a look?
242
00:13:11,751 --> 00:13:14,045
I see where you're going, Harriet.
243
00:13:14,045 --> 00:13:16,172
The roasted chicken is the star.
244
00:13:16,172 --> 00:13:20,427
But without the side dishes,
there'd be no Fall Harvest feast.
245
00:13:21,011 --> 00:13:22,512
Exactly.
246
00:13:22,512 --> 00:13:25,765
Do you mind if I use that line
in the speech I'm writing?
247
00:13:25,765 --> 00:13:27,767
It's kinda brilliant.
248
00:13:27,767 --> 00:13:30,896
[gasp] Oh, oh! Well, it's yours.
249
00:13:31,980 --> 00:13:34,399
Well played, Harriet M. Welsch.
250
00:13:34,399 --> 00:13:36,484
Well played.
251
00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:43,617
[Harriet] Fixing Marion's script
was a lot harder than I thought.
252
00:13:44,993 --> 00:13:46,703
Hello, Harriet.
253
00:13:46,703 --> 00:13:48,455
Ole Golly. [inhales deeply]
254
00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:52,459
How was Montreal?
255
00:13:52,459 --> 00:13:54,586
I learned some French.
256
00:13:54,586 --> 00:13:56,880
[speaking French]
257
00:13:56,880 --> 00:13:59,132
That means, "How's the writing going?"
258
00:13:59,132 --> 00:14:00,383
[sighs]
259
00:14:01,009 --> 00:14:02,135
I'm nervous.
260
00:14:02,135 --> 00:14:05,847
I've never shown my writing
to anybody else before.
261
00:14:05,847 --> 00:14:07,390
What if it stinks?
262
00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:12,771
The author Samuel Beckett said this
about life, but it applies to writing too.
263
00:14:12,771 --> 00:14:16,191
[Ole Golly] "I can't go on. I'll go on."
264
00:14:17,025 --> 00:14:18,401
So, stick with it.
265
00:14:19,194 --> 00:14:20,946
No, don't go.
266
00:14:21,446 --> 00:14:23,531
I need you to pull
off my blanket every night
267
00:14:23,531 --> 00:14:25,450
and tell me it's time to go to sleep.
268
00:14:25,450 --> 00:14:29,037
My parents never do that.
Plus, I miss you.
269
00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:34,000
Au revoir, Harriet. Au revoir.
270
00:14:34,668 --> 00:14:36,545
[Ole Golly] That's French for...
271
00:14:36,545 --> 00:14:38,129
Goodbye. [sighs]
272
00:14:41,925 --> 00:14:45,595
[Harriet] I knew I was way too old
to be doing this.
273
00:14:45,595 --> 00:14:47,013
But it was an emergency,
274
00:14:47,013 --> 00:14:50,809
and the only cure was pretending
I was five years old again.
275
00:14:50,809 --> 00:14:52,978
[snoring, mumbling]
276
00:14:55,272 --> 00:14:57,315
Ah.
277
00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:59,818
[grunts, snores]
278
00:15:00,610 --> 00:15:03,697
[groans, snoring]
279
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,033
[smacks lips]
280
00:15:09,995 --> 00:15:12,163
[Harriet] Ole Golly wasn't going
to save me,
281
00:15:12,163 --> 00:15:14,666
and neither was
being five years old again.
282
00:15:18,086 --> 00:15:20,964
[Harriet] The training wheels were off
for good.
283
00:15:20,964 --> 00:15:26,177
The only person who was going
to save me was Harriet M. Welsch.
284
00:15:29,055 --> 00:15:35,687
"Friends, Romans, and vegetables,
lend me your ears."
285
00:15:36,855 --> 00:15:38,231
[sighs] Dumb.
286
00:15:40,317 --> 00:15:46,531
"Why be side dishes
when we can be front dishes?"
287
00:15:47,991 --> 00:15:49,784
[Harriet] Front dishes?
288
00:15:52,412 --> 00:15:53,330
[groans]
289
00:16:02,756 --> 00:16:06,968
[Harriet] ♪ Well,
we started as "potaters" ♪
290
00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:10,847
♪ On the train to tasty town ♪
291
00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:15,727
♪ We danced with graceful graters
And were fried till golden brown ♪
292
00:16:15,727 --> 00:16:20,941
♪ When it comes to crisp confections
We wear the golden crown ♪
293
00:16:20,941 --> 00:16:22,943
[Harriet] I didn't know
where that song came from,
294
00:16:22,943 --> 00:16:25,862
but I definitely wanted
to see where it was going.
295
00:16:25,862 --> 00:16:30,992
♪ Let us show you the way to tasty town ♪
296
00:16:33,453 --> 00:16:37,916
Ms. Elson, while I kindly agreed
to let Harriet write a few lines,
297
00:16:37,916 --> 00:16:40,293
I did not agree
to letting her turn my play
298
00:16:40,293 --> 00:16:41,753
into a musical.
299
00:16:42,587 --> 00:16:47,217
Marion, I understand why you're upset.
300
00:16:47,801 --> 00:16:50,720
And it is time to do something about it.
301
00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:55,934
The emotions you're feeling right now,
anger, resentment, jealousy.
302
00:16:56,601 --> 00:17:01,690
Try to climb aboard one of those feelings
and see where it takes you.
303
00:17:01,690 --> 00:17:03,149
But, Ms. Elson--
304
00:17:03,149 --> 00:17:07,529
Acting is a journey, Marion.
Don't be afraid now.
305
00:17:07,529 --> 00:17:10,282
Now, Harriet. Let's take it from the top.
306
00:17:10,282 --> 00:17:14,035
I want all the side dishes
to come in at the chorus.
307
00:17:14,035 --> 00:17:19,708
[chuckles] And a one,
and a two, and a three.
308
00:17:19,708 --> 00:17:21,793
[piano playing]
309
00:17:24,212 --> 00:17:27,007
[Harriet] I must have done something right
because the next day,
310
00:17:27,007 --> 00:17:30,051
all the side dishes were working
on their characters.
311
00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:35,432
I yam what I yam.
312
00:17:35,432 --> 00:17:37,976
Would you boys stop yammering, please?
313
00:17:38,727 --> 00:17:39,978
You want Tater Tots?
314
00:17:42,022 --> 00:17:46,902
♪ Well, we started as "potaters"
On the train to tasty town ♪
315
00:17:46,902 --> 00:17:48,778
♪ We danced with graceful graters ♪
316
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:51,197
- ♪ And were fried till golden brown ♪
- You're holding up the line.
317
00:17:51,197 --> 00:17:55,452
♪ When it comes to crisp confections
We wear the golden crown ♪
318
00:17:55,452 --> 00:18:00,624
♪ Let us show you the way to tasty town ♪
319
00:18:03,627 --> 00:18:05,545
[Carrie] I am a brussels sprout.
320
00:18:05,545 --> 00:18:07,047
I am a brussels sprout.
321
00:18:07,047 --> 00:18:08,924
- [toilet flushes]
- I am a brussels sprout.
322
00:18:08,924 --> 00:18:10,967
Ew. Gross.
323
00:18:10,967 --> 00:18:14,930
How could you want to be something
that smells like rotten eggs?
324
00:18:14,930 --> 00:18:18,225
The rotten egg smell associated
with brussels sprouts comes
325
00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:20,644
from improperly overcooking the vegetable.
326
00:18:20,644 --> 00:18:23,230
When prepared properly by gently steaming,
327
00:18:23,230 --> 00:18:26,816
brussels sprouts have a sweet,
nutty flavor and a crisp texture.
328
00:18:27,525 --> 00:18:31,321
I am a brussels sprout.
I am a brussels sprout.
329
00:18:31,321 --> 00:18:32,948
I am a brussels sprout.
330
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:36,576
When is this going to stop?
331
00:18:36,576 --> 00:18:40,080
Acting is a journey, Marion.
Don't be afraid.
332
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,374
Harriet. Oh. [strains]
333
00:18:42,374 --> 00:18:44,542
Just-- Oh, you are pathetic.
334
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:52,801
Ms. Elson,
Harriet is trying to take over my--
335
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:55,345
Marion, you're here. Perfect.
336
00:18:55,345 --> 00:18:56,805
You're just in time
337
00:18:56,805 --> 00:19:00,100
to rehearse a new scene
that Harriet wrote.
338
00:19:02,519 --> 00:19:03,395
[gasps]
339
00:19:04,771 --> 00:19:09,776
"Pee-yew, brussels sprout.
You smell like rotten eggs."
340
00:19:09,776 --> 00:19:12,404
"The rotten egg smell associated
with brussels sprouts--"
341
00:19:12,404 --> 00:19:14,281
This has gone too far.
342
00:19:14,281 --> 00:19:17,492
I am not the villain.
I am the main course.
343
00:19:20,078 --> 00:19:22,080
You are not getting away with this.
344
00:19:25,208 --> 00:19:26,209
[grunts]
345
00:19:28,044 --> 00:19:29,379
Marion.
346
00:19:30,630 --> 00:19:31,756
[gulps]
347
00:19:33,717 --> 00:19:34,926
Okay, everybody.
348
00:19:34,926 --> 00:19:39,598
I've asked you here for a top-secret,
Marion-free rehearsal of a new song
349
00:19:39,598 --> 00:19:42,267
- for the end of the play.
- [Marion] Oh, nice try, Harriet.
350
00:19:42,934 --> 00:19:44,895
Ugh. Look who's here.
351
00:19:44,895 --> 00:19:47,772
Just wanted you all to know
we are quitting the play
352
00:19:47,772 --> 00:19:50,859
unless we go back to the original script.
353
00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:55,947
Oh, maybe the play will be better
without Marion.
354
00:19:58,617 --> 00:19:59,534
[sighs]
355
00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:02,913
[Harriet] I knew Janie was right.
Without a roast chicken,
356
00:20:02,913 --> 00:20:05,624
our Fall Harvest Day play
would be a dead duck.
357
00:20:06,166 --> 00:20:08,877
Marion,
you know we can't do it without you.
358
00:20:08,877 --> 00:20:12,172
You should have thought of that
before you decided to hijack my play.
359
00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:14,341
You may all think that
Harriet M. Welsch just wants
360
00:20:14,341 --> 00:20:15,634
to make the play better.
361
00:20:15,634 --> 00:20:18,929
But the truth is,
she just wants to get revenge on me.
362
00:20:18,929 --> 00:20:20,263
That's not true.
363
00:20:20,847 --> 00:20:24,684
Oh, really? So, you're not still furious
at me for not being your friend anymore?
364
00:20:25,477 --> 00:20:27,020
That was a long time ago.
365
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,316
You know, I wanna say,
"Liar, liar, pants on fire."
366
00:20:31,316 --> 00:20:33,276
But you're not wearing any pants.
367
00:20:33,276 --> 00:20:36,905
So, I'll just go with,
"Liar, liar, lame onion costume on fire."
368
00:20:36,905 --> 00:20:38,698
You're the liar.
369
00:20:38,698 --> 00:20:39,866
Said the liar.
370
00:20:40,867 --> 00:20:43,828
- I am not a liar!
- [Marion grunts]
371
00:20:44,621 --> 00:20:48,792
[gasps] Oh, uh, sorry.
It-It was an accident. Are you okay?
372
00:20:52,754 --> 00:20:55,757
You all saw it. She attacked me.
373
00:20:55,757 --> 00:20:57,050
Do something!
374
00:20:57,050 --> 00:20:59,511
- Well, what do you-- Wha--
- Just go.
375
00:21:04,099 --> 00:21:05,308
Run, Harriet!
376
00:21:05,976 --> 00:21:08,103
[panting]
377
00:21:09,896 --> 00:21:11,773
[panting]
378
00:21:11,773 --> 00:21:14,276
[pants] What are we supposed to do
when we catch her?
379
00:21:14,276 --> 00:21:16,152
I have no idea. I thought you knew.
380
00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:25,412
[Beth Ellen] Where did she go?
381
00:21:25,412 --> 00:21:26,496
[Rachel] Split up!
382
00:21:31,710 --> 00:21:33,128
[sighs]
383
00:21:39,801 --> 00:21:42,429
[grunts] Whoa. Ah!
384
00:21:42,429 --> 00:21:44,264
[straining]
385
00:21:51,813 --> 00:21:53,315
[panting]
386
00:21:54,399 --> 00:21:55,400
[Harriet gasps]
387
00:21:57,903 --> 00:22:00,614
[Harriet] It-- It couldn't be, could it?
388
00:22:01,948 --> 00:22:02,782
[sighs]
389
00:22:02,782 --> 00:22:05,577
[Harriet] You know that new life smell
I was talking about?
390
00:22:06,494 --> 00:22:08,371
But Marion had my notebook.
391
00:22:08,371 --> 00:22:10,874
The only thing I could smell was fear.
392
00:22:11,499 --> 00:22:14,294
Well, since you claim you're not a liar,
393
00:22:14,294 --> 00:22:18,590
everything you wrote about us
in your little notebook must be true.
394
00:22:23,595 --> 00:22:24,596
[breathing heavily]
395
00:22:24,596 --> 00:22:29,434
No one reads my notebook but me!
396
00:22:30,101 --> 00:22:32,520
[shouting]
397
00:22:33,396 --> 00:22:34,314
[gasps]
398
00:22:35,482 --> 00:22:40,737
Oh, here's something about me.
399
00:22:41,947 --> 00:22:47,827
[Harriet] Just like that, the age
of Harriet officially bit the biscuit.
400
00:22:48,995 --> 00:22:52,123
♪ I just wanna be
You just wanna be ♪
401
00:22:52,123 --> 00:22:54,084
♪ We just wanna be ♪
402
00:22:55,085 --> 00:22:57,629
♪ I don't wanna be
You don't wanna be ♪
403
00:22:57,629 --> 00:23:02,842
♪ We don't wanna be told what to do ♪
404
00:23:05,262 --> 00:23:11,101
♪ And I try my best to do good
In the neighborhood ♪
405
00:23:11,101 --> 00:23:13,562
♪ I smile real nice ♪
406
00:23:13,562 --> 00:23:16,690
♪ And I strive to tell the truth ♪
407
00:23:16,690 --> 00:23:19,442
♪ I just wanna be
You just wanna be ♪
408
00:23:19,442 --> 00:23:21,152
♪ We just wanna be ♪
409
00:23:22,279 --> 00:23:24,864
♪ I don't wanna be
You don't wanna be ♪
410
00:23:24,864 --> 00:23:27,659
♪ We don't wanna be told what to do ♪
411
00:23:27,659 --> 00:23:30,287
♪ I am gonna be who I wanna be ♪
412
00:23:30,287 --> 00:23:32,122
♪ My autonomy ♪
413
00:23:33,123 --> 00:23:35,750
♪ I just wanna be
You just wanna be ♪
414
00:23:35,750 --> 00:23:37,586
♪ We just wanna be ♪
415
00:23:37,586 --> 00:23:40,881
♪ No, I won't cut my hair ♪
416
00:23:40,881 --> 00:23:43,383
♪ And I'll wear whatever ♪
417
00:23:43,383 --> 00:23:49,472
♪ I like it when I get to be myself ♪
418
00:23:49,472 --> 00:23:52,183
♪ I don't wanna be
You don't wanna be ♪
419
00:23:52,183 --> 00:23:56,646
♪ We don't wanna be told what to do ♪