1
00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:10,668
[water splashing]

2
00:00:10,751 --> 00:00:13,543
-[distant piano music playing]
-[distant applause]

3
00:00:18,334 --> 00:00:20,876
-[piano plays clearly]
-[indistinct chatter]

4
00:00:24,084 --> 00:00:25,543
[light chuckling]

5
00:00:26,334 --> 00:00:27,168
[captain] Hmm.

6
00:00:33,168 --> 00:00:35,001
[suspenseful note drones]

7
00:00:35,084 --> 00:00:39,501
Our target is wearing a captain's uniform.
I repeat, a person in a captain's uniform.

8
00:00:39,584 --> 00:00:41,209
-[playing jolly tune]
-[jovial chatter]

9
00:00:41,293 --> 00:00:42,834
[suspenseful note drones]

10
00:00:45,376 --> 00:00:46,793
[onlookers cheer and laugh]

11
00:00:46,876 --> 00:00:47,959
-Thank you.
-Bravo!

12
00:00:48,043 --> 00:00:49,793
Come with me, Captain.

13
00:00:49,876 --> 00:00:52,418
Let's go find our table.
The show's about to start.

14
00:00:55,668 --> 00:00:59,043
Goddamn! That is bright.
I can't see anything in there.

15
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:02,459
[grunts] Yeah. It's like looking
straight into the sun.

16
00:01:02,543 --> 00:01:05,543
What the hell is he up to in there?
I bet something nuclear.

17
00:01:05,626 --> 00:01:09,543
Remove your night-vision goggles.
I repeat, remove the night-vision goggles.

18
00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:12,709
This better work,
Mr. Know-It-All Vision Expert.

19
00:01:14,334 --> 00:01:16,168
Okay, fine.

20
00:01:16,251 --> 00:01:18,418
-Set your tasers for max electrocution.
-[device chirps]

21
00:01:18,501 --> 00:01:21,459
Let's take this asshole down hard.

22
00:01:21,543 --> 00:01:23,543
["Tequila" playing]

23
00:01:24,793 --> 00:01:26,126
[laughter]

24
00:01:27,418 --> 00:01:30,334
Hold on a sec. Wait, wait!
There are multiple captains in there.

25
00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:31,376
[chief on radio] Decoys.

26
00:01:31,459 --> 00:01:33,334
Ugh, so devious.

27
00:01:33,418 --> 00:01:34,751
Go, go, go!

28
00:01:36,459 --> 00:01:37,668
[gasping]

29
00:01:38,543 --> 00:01:39,876
-[explosion]
-[screaming]

30
00:01:40,459 --> 00:01:43,168
Pacify the captains!
Our target could be any one of them.

31
00:01:43,251 --> 00:01:45,543
No! No! Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

32
00:01:45,626 --> 00:01:47,334
[chief] Son of a bitch!

33
00:01:47,418 --> 00:01:48,959
But they're just kids!

34
00:01:49,043 --> 00:01:53,168
This is no time to categorize
or pigeonhole people, Agent Steel.

35
00:01:53,668 --> 00:01:54,918
Tase them all.

36
00:01:55,501 --> 00:01:57,918
[agent] That's what you get
for being a decoy.

37
00:01:58,001 --> 00:01:59,168
[kid warbles]

38
00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:00,251
[commotion]

39
00:02:00,334 --> 00:02:02,834
-[agent 2] Do not move! Do not move!
-[screams]

40
00:02:04,043 --> 00:02:07,168
Well, well, well. [chuckles]

41
00:02:07,251 --> 00:02:08,584
What have we got here?

42
00:02:09,251 --> 00:02:10,084
[captain] Agh!

43
00:02:10,168 --> 00:02:13,543
I am Captain Tucker,
and I am in charge of this vessel.

44
00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:14,918
What on earth are you doing here?

45
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:17,376
-I demand answers!
-Oh…

46
00:02:17,459 --> 00:02:19,626
-[groans]
-You'll get your answers all right.

47
00:02:19,709 --> 00:02:21,209
You'll get your answers

48
00:02:21,293 --> 00:02:23,001
in a jail cell.

49
00:02:23,084 --> 00:02:23,959
[agents] Mm.

50
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:28,334
Well, uh, actually,
we should probably read him his rights

51
00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:30,751
and inform him of the charges against him.

52
00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:32,626
And all that.

53
00:02:32,709 --> 00:02:37,334
Oh, nice, Steel. That was a cool-ass line.
Way to ruin the moment.

54
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:39,626
You wanna do that cool line again, Chief?

55
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:42,001
Nope, nope, nope. The moment is gone.

56
00:02:42,084 --> 00:02:43,793
Steel took that away from us.

57
00:02:44,459 --> 00:02:46,709
Everyone, just…
Let's just leave. Let's go.

58
00:02:50,209 --> 00:02:52,543
[whimpering, sobbing]

59
00:02:52,626 --> 00:02:54,209
[children crying]

60
00:02:56,209 --> 00:02:58,251
Hello, sir. They got him.

61
00:02:58,334 --> 00:02:59,251
It's on again.

62
00:02:59,334 --> 00:03:01,834
[Captain Tucker] This is scandalous! Agh!

63
00:03:05,459 --> 00:03:07,668
[frantic string music playing]

64
00:03:16,001 --> 00:03:17,459
[reporter] It was just after midnight

65
00:03:17,543 --> 00:03:21,126
police raided the Pacific Pearl
and arrested Captain Herman Tucker

66
00:03:21,209 --> 00:03:23,209
on multiple charges of drug smuggling,

67
00:03:23,293 --> 00:03:25,918
trafficking,
possession of illegal firearms,

68
00:03:26,001 --> 00:03:28,001
and slaughter of endangered animals.

69
00:03:28,084 --> 00:03:30,459
-[student] Watch out. Pee incoming.
-Ugh!

70
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,876
[laughter]

71
00:03:31,959 --> 00:03:33,043
That's a good one.

72
00:03:33,126 --> 00:03:36,126
Yeah, looks like I peed
my pants pretty massively.

73
00:03:36,209 --> 00:03:37,543
Whatever, Fall.

74
00:03:37,626 --> 00:03:40,543
[sighs] Yep, just emptied my bladder
in my pants.

75
00:03:40,626 --> 00:03:42,918
That's me. No, that's… It's good stuff.

76
00:03:43,001 --> 00:03:45,084
See you at the next, uh…
Yeah. [clears throat]

77
00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:48,251
The prosecution is getting ready
for the trial of the century.

78
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:51,876
But first, Captain Tucker is going
to be isolated in prison,

79
00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:54,168
where should he for some reason pass away,

80
00:03:54,251 --> 00:03:57,001
the district attorney would lose
her only witness.

81
00:04:01,084 --> 00:04:03,209
Oh, it looks like I peed myself, but, um…

82
00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:05,543
I'm just the butt of a great prank.
Don't worry.

83
00:04:05,626 --> 00:04:08,001
-Oh… kay.
-Yeah, it's not urine.

84
00:04:08,084 --> 00:04:09,209
Um… [sucks]

85
00:04:09,293 --> 00:04:10,668
-Mm.
-Oh, it's actually…

86
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,251
It's actually Fanta.

87
00:04:12,334 --> 00:04:15,959
Whatever, Fall. Exam results are in.
You should check 'em out.

88
00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:18,709
They're here? Should I be excited or--

89
00:04:18,793 --> 00:04:20,209
[sarcastically] Oh yeah. This is it.

90
00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:23,751
This is the exam that decides your career,
and you really stand out.

91
00:04:23,834 --> 00:04:26,418
Really? Oh! [panting]

92
00:04:26,501 --> 00:04:28,126
Okay. Here we go.

93
00:04:28,918 --> 00:04:30,793
Fall, Fall. Duh-duh-duh…

94
00:04:30,876 --> 00:04:32,418
Duh… No…

95
00:04:34,459 --> 00:04:35,418
Oh.

96
00:04:36,001 --> 00:04:37,418
Ah, darn it.

97
00:04:37,501 --> 00:04:39,501
[dramatic string music playing]

98
00:04:56,543 --> 00:04:57,918
[music builds]

99
00:05:04,459 --> 00:05:05,793
[strings screech]

100
00:05:08,668 --> 00:05:10,126
[music fades]

101
00:05:11,751 --> 00:05:13,168
[agent] Right…

102
00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:17,626
Guys. Wow, I am just so proud right now.

103
00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:19,959
We have helped rid the world of evil.

104
00:05:20,751 --> 00:05:24,459
-Let's have some cake.
-Fuck, yeah! Cake tastes good.

105
00:05:24,543 --> 00:05:25,626
[cheering]

106
00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:29,376
Yeah, I just have this weird hunch.
Am I the only one who thinks

107
00:05:29,459 --> 00:05:31,334
there could be more
to this Captain Tucker case?

108
00:05:32,168 --> 00:05:33,251
Say what, Steel?

109
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:36,001
I just mean that…
does everyone really believe

110
00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:39,584
that one man single-handedly
did all those horrible things by himself

111
00:05:39,668 --> 00:05:42,584
without anyone else on that ship knowing?

112
00:05:42,668 --> 00:05:43,584
Wow.

113
00:05:43,668 --> 00:05:44,501
Right?

114
00:05:44,584 --> 00:05:46,376
[chuckles] Just wow.

115
00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:48,668
Could be a criminal organization
running that ship.

116
00:05:48,751 --> 00:05:51,293
Captain Tucker could actually just be
the tip of the iceberg.

117
00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:54,084
Some kind of pawn. A patsy, a fall guy.

118
00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:55,043
Hmm.

119
00:05:55,543 --> 00:05:58,043
-You know what I think, Steel?
-No.

120
00:05:58,126 --> 00:06:02,293
I think it's actually time for you
to shut your big yapper.

121
00:06:02,376 --> 00:06:05,168
-Right on!
-Can't you just enjoy this glorious win?

122
00:06:05,251 --> 00:06:08,209
Washington has been this close
to shutting us down,

123
00:06:08,293 --> 00:06:10,793
and now you come here
with this… this nonsense.

124
00:06:10,876 --> 00:06:12,209
Yeah, what an asshole!

125
00:06:12,293 --> 00:06:15,168
Fuck you, Steel! Fuck you to hell!

126
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:19,084
To be completely honest with you, Steel,
no one likes a snoopy agent.

127
00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:20,126
Really?

128
00:06:20,209 --> 00:06:22,834
All that sneaking around,
gathering evidence,

129
00:06:22,918 --> 00:06:25,459
retrieving lost documents,
and finding witnesses

130
00:06:25,543 --> 00:06:27,293
that could shed new light on a case?

131
00:06:27,376 --> 00:06:29,084
Ugh. People hate that.

132
00:06:29,168 --> 00:06:30,209
Uh…

133
00:06:30,293 --> 00:06:34,126
-But that's kind of our job though.
-Our job was to crack this case.

134
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:35,918
-And now it's cracked.
-[phone vibrating]

135
00:06:36,001 --> 00:06:38,251
[phone rings]

136
00:06:38,334 --> 00:06:39,168
Yes?

137
00:06:39,959 --> 00:06:42,543
Mm. Unfortunate? [chuckles]

138
00:06:42,626 --> 00:06:43,709
Roger that.

139
00:06:45,043 --> 00:06:46,251
[clears throat]

140
00:06:46,334 --> 00:06:47,376
Listen up, team.

141
00:06:47,459 --> 00:06:50,584
Captain Tucker
just killed himself in jail.

142
00:06:50,668 --> 00:06:52,751
Suicide, Epstein-style.

143
00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:53,668
What?

144
00:06:53,751 --> 00:06:56,543
It's probably
because he was torn apart by guilt.

145
00:06:56,626 --> 00:06:59,418
So the train has left the station.
Case closed forever.

146
00:06:59,501 --> 00:07:00,876
-Huh?
-[laughs]

147
00:07:00,959 --> 00:07:02,459
In your face, Steel.

148
00:07:02,543 --> 00:07:05,084
[chief] Oh! Yes. Oh. Let's go!

149
00:07:05,168 --> 00:07:06,459
-[disco music playing]
-Eh!

150
00:07:06,543 --> 00:07:09,959
♪ Let's do it, let's do it, let's do it ♪

151
00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:10,876
Yeah!

152
00:07:12,043 --> 00:07:14,418
Hey, what are you doing
with, uh, that evidence?

153
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:17,376
You heard the chief. Case is closed.
We're burning everything.

154
00:07:17,459 --> 00:07:18,293
Oh?

155
00:07:18,376 --> 00:07:21,918
Yeah, just dumping it into
the evidence destroyer downstairs.

156
00:07:22,001 --> 00:07:23,043
Hey, uh…

157
00:07:23,126 --> 00:07:24,668
Let me take that down for you.

158
00:07:24,751 --> 00:07:27,293
I'm actually heading down
to the evidence destroyer right now.

159
00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:30,376
Great. Thanks.
Uh, just don't take it home.

160
00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:32,459
-That's a federal offense, you know.
-Ha-ha!

161
00:07:32,543 --> 00:07:37,084
I know. I would never do that
because that is not what I am going to do.

162
00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,584
-Far from it.
-Great. Good to hear.

163
00:07:39,668 --> 00:07:42,793
This will not be that one case
I couldn't let go of

164
00:07:42,876 --> 00:07:45,751
and eventually get totally
Carrie Mathison-obsessed with.

165
00:07:45,834 --> 00:07:46,751
Perfect.

166
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:49,043
No way, no, sir.
Ain't happening. Not this guy.

167
00:07:49,626 --> 00:07:51,418
Too grounded for that stuff.

168
00:07:53,751 --> 00:07:54,876
[cloth squeaks]

169
00:07:57,418 --> 00:07:58,251
Hi.

170
00:07:58,334 --> 00:08:01,251
[radio DJ] Well, you're listening
to 102.6 The Hawk,

171
00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:04,751
and up next, we have a great tune
from one of my favorites.

172
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,626
How can I help you, young man?

173
00:08:07,709 --> 00:08:10,751
Oh, hi. Jonathan Fall. I… I called. Um…

174
00:08:10,834 --> 00:08:13,251
Oh yes. Mr. Fall. Please come in.

175
00:08:14,084 --> 00:08:16,751
Oh, I was just looking at my family
on the wall out there.

176
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:17,834
Hoo!

177
00:08:17,918 --> 00:08:20,126
Fall family has been roaming the seas
for generations,

178
00:08:20,209 --> 00:08:23,376
so… they expect nothing less from me.

179
00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:24,793
Mm-hmm.

180
00:08:24,876 --> 00:08:27,626
Let's see here. Jonathan Fall.

181
00:08:28,376 --> 00:08:29,209
Ouch.

182
00:08:29,293 --> 00:08:31,418
Okay, well, I know when you look
at my grades,

183
00:08:31,501 --> 00:08:33,043
it… it doesn't look that great,

184
00:08:33,126 --> 00:08:36,751
but the ocean is in my blood.
It's in my genes, I think, so…

185
00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:37,793
Okay.

186
00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:40,168
Yeah, my… my… my family
was practically responsible

187
00:08:40,251 --> 00:08:42,418
for the Allies winning World War II,

188
00:08:42,501 --> 00:08:45,793
so not too… shabby. [chuckles]

189
00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:50,501
The thing is, you had the worst exams
in the history of the Naval Academy.

190
00:08:50,584 --> 00:08:51,418
Oh. Oh.

191
00:08:51,501 --> 00:08:54,334
Right now, the closest you'll ever get
to commanding a ship

192
00:08:54,418 --> 00:08:56,501
is turning tricks at the docks.

193
00:08:56,584 --> 00:08:58,376
Hmm. [sucks teeth]

194
00:08:58,459 --> 00:09:00,084
Oh, I don't know, I mean…

195
00:09:00,168 --> 00:09:03,959
If there were guarantees
that I would eventually command a ship…

196
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:06,209
Just as a starting gig, maybe I--

197
00:09:06,293 --> 00:09:09,043
I am obviously joking, Fall.

198
00:09:09,126 --> 00:09:10,959
Yeah. Of course. [chuckles]

199
00:09:11,043 --> 00:09:15,751
Me, a hooker?
No, I… I would never. That's, um…

200
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:18,209
I was just joking too. Just, uh…

201
00:09:18,293 --> 00:09:21,709
two people in an office
just crackin' jokes.

202
00:09:21,793 --> 00:09:23,251
Anyway, you were saying?

203
00:09:23,334 --> 00:09:26,459
What I can offer you
is an extensive personality test,

204
00:09:26,543 --> 00:09:29,793
where you can show potential employers
what you're really made of.

205
00:09:29,876 --> 00:09:32,293
Maybe you have some hidden talents

206
00:09:32,376 --> 00:09:36,001
hidden deep, deep down there. Somewhere.

207
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:44,168
There. Done. [chuckles]
I'm pretty sure I nailed it.

208
00:09:44,251 --> 00:09:48,418
Mm, there is nothing to nail.
It's a personality test.

209
00:09:48,501 --> 00:09:51,251
Hold on. I'll get the results in two secs.

210
00:09:51,334 --> 00:09:53,793
Ooh, wow, there are some great ships here.

211
00:09:53,876 --> 00:09:57,084
Could you send my test results
to the Emperor of the Seas maybe?

212
00:09:57,168 --> 00:09:58,043
Is that crazy?

213
00:09:58,126 --> 00:10:00,793
-[computer beeps]
-Oh. Oh Lord.

214
00:10:00,876 --> 00:10:02,418
-That good?
-No.

215
00:10:03,584 --> 00:10:07,459
But I owe it to your family name
to get you something.

216
00:10:08,793 --> 00:10:13,793
Oh! Ah, this could be an opportunity
for you to work on that personality

217
00:10:13,876 --> 00:10:15,876
and get some job experience.

218
00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:18,793
And who knows
what could happen down the line, Fall.

219
00:10:18,876 --> 00:10:20,501
Wow, that is awesome.

220
00:10:20,584 --> 00:10:22,918
Thank you. Tha… Thank you so much, ma'am.

221
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:26,626
That is just a dream come true.
Thank you for believing in me.

222
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:28,959
-[heartfelt music playing]
-[waves splashing]

223
00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:40,001
-[foghorn blares]
-[man over PA] Thar she blows!

224
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:49,334
[eerie music playing]

225
00:10:50,876 --> 00:10:52,459
[rat squeaks]

226
00:10:54,418 --> 00:10:56,251
[engine revs]

227
00:10:56,334 --> 00:10:58,459
[mysterious music playing]

228
00:11:04,751 --> 00:11:06,376
[chatter]

229
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,418
[tires screech]

230
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:10,709
-[bodies thud]
-[woman groans]

231
00:11:11,459 --> 00:11:13,584
That's on you, Mrs. Gilroy.

232
00:11:13,668 --> 00:11:16,293
-That beautiful saggy ass distracted me.
-[laughs]

233
00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:19,334
Oh, never mind. Those things happen.

234
00:11:19,418 --> 00:11:21,334
-Hey, Tanner!
-[Mrs. Gilroy chuckles]

235
00:11:21,418 --> 00:11:22,959
-Whoo!
-Oh. [chuckles]

236
00:11:23,043 --> 00:11:24,126
Can't hear me.

237
00:11:26,959 --> 00:11:28,376
Jonathan, darling.

238
00:11:28,459 --> 00:11:29,459
Hey, Mom.

239
00:11:30,126 --> 00:11:32,584
I didn't know we were having a party.
What's the occasion?

240
00:11:32,668 --> 00:11:35,584
-Oh, it's your brother's big day.
-Big day?

241
00:11:35,668 --> 00:11:39,834
Yes, we're celebrating
Tanner's 33 and a half birthday.

242
00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:41,501
Oh. Cool.

243
00:11:41,584 --> 00:11:44,084
I'll… I'll… I'll just get changed,
and then I'll join in.

244
00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:46,709
Yeah, about that. You know what?

245
00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:49,168
How about you just climb up
in your treehouse,

246
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,043
and we'll bring you some food up there.

247
00:11:51,126 --> 00:11:53,334
Your father and I thought
that would be a great idea.

248
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:56,126
I totally agree.
It's… It's just that I would really like

249
00:11:56,209 --> 00:11:58,001
to, uh, join the party.

250
00:11:58,084 --> 00:12:02,084
Of course, but I think it might be
better for you to just skip it.

251
00:12:02,168 --> 00:12:04,834
-So let's go ahead and do that.
-Roger that.

252
00:12:05,793 --> 00:12:08,834
Oh, Angela, you made it!

253
00:12:08,918 --> 00:12:10,918
[distant jazz playing]

254
00:12:11,001 --> 00:12:13,001
[distant chatter, laughter]

255
00:12:26,626 --> 00:12:27,584
Hi, Dad.

256
00:12:27,668 --> 00:12:29,084
Here you go. Chow down.

257
00:12:29,168 --> 00:12:31,751
Ooh, thank you. So hungry. Good party?

258
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:35,168
Oh yeah. So great. So much fun.

259
00:12:35,251 --> 00:12:36,876
Skrillex is DJing later,

260
00:12:36,959 --> 00:12:40,293
and your brother is sparkling
like a star down there.

261
00:12:40,376 --> 00:12:42,334
Oh. I bet.

262
00:12:42,418 --> 00:12:45,626
May… Maybe I can come down
and join in for a little while?

263
00:12:45,709 --> 00:12:48,334
Just say hello to Uncle Herman
and them maybe,

264
00:12:48,418 --> 00:12:50,334
just to get a little taste of the fun.

265
00:12:50,418 --> 00:12:53,751
Well, in an ideal world,
it's exactly what you would have done,

266
00:12:53,834 --> 00:12:56,626
but we don't want to risk
you ruining your brother's big day

267
00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:57,584
with your presence.

268
00:12:57,668 --> 00:13:00,209
What? Well, I wouldn't ruin anything.

269
00:13:00,293 --> 00:13:03,959
I'll stay low, have a little friendly chat
here and there. Yes?

270
00:13:04,043 --> 00:13:06,043
Nope, not gonna happen.

271
00:13:06,126 --> 00:13:07,459
Oh… Okay.

272
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:16,084
Oh. Oh. You're taking the ladder?

273
00:13:16,168 --> 00:13:17,876
Oh, it's just a security measure.

274
00:13:17,959 --> 00:13:21,334
Mostly to protect you from people
climbing up and disturbing you.

275
00:13:21,418 --> 00:13:22,418
-Oh.
-Yeah, you know.

276
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:24,501
Don't want an old uncle to come up there

277
00:13:24,584 --> 00:13:26,751
and have his way with you
or anything like that.

278
00:13:26,834 --> 00:13:28,043
What?

279
00:13:28,126 --> 00:13:30,001
I'm not saying it will happen,

280
00:13:30,084 --> 00:13:32,876
but statistically, every family
has a molester in their ranks.

281
00:13:32,959 --> 00:13:33,876
Ooh.

282
00:13:34,376 --> 00:13:37,543
Yikes, okay. Um, well, thank you, I guess.

283
00:13:37,626 --> 00:13:39,876
I'll put it back in the morning,
I almost promise.

284
00:13:39,959 --> 00:13:42,751
Oh, that would be great.
Okay. Good night, Dad.

285
00:13:42,834 --> 00:13:46,626
Good night… you. [chuckles]

286
00:13:47,834 --> 00:13:49,876
[dance music playing]

287
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:55,959
["I'm Too Sexy" playing]

288
00:13:56,043 --> 00:14:00,543
[Tanner, slurring] ♪ Know what I mean
And do the little… on the catwalk ♪

289
00:14:00,626 --> 00:14:05,959
♪ I'm on the catwalk, yeah
I'm on a catwalk! ♪

290
00:14:06,043 --> 00:14:08,376
[chuckles] Tanner. So talented.

291
00:14:08,459 --> 00:14:10,918
♪ Too sexy for my pants
Too sexy for my… ♪

292
00:14:11,001 --> 00:14:12,459
[partygoer] You're the best, Tanner!

293
00:14:12,543 --> 00:14:15,918
[alarm clock beeping]

294
00:14:18,918 --> 00:14:20,418
[birds singing]

295
00:14:32,751 --> 00:14:34,876
[sighs] That's unfortunate.

296
00:14:35,543 --> 00:14:37,543
[tense music playing]

297
00:14:38,876 --> 00:14:40,418
Of course, Mr. Tyrant.

298
00:14:41,751 --> 00:14:43,209
-Was that him?
-Yeah.

299
00:14:43,293 --> 00:14:45,709
He wants us to take
a different approach this time.

300
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:48,001
Instead of finding a captain
with certain credentials,

301
00:14:48,084 --> 00:14:50,793
he wants us to find a captain with… none.

302
00:14:50,876 --> 00:14:53,751
Like a wet piece of clay
with a license to command a ship.

303
00:14:53,834 --> 00:14:54,876
Yeah, I guess.

304
00:14:55,418 --> 00:14:56,459
Let's get to it.

305
00:14:56,543 --> 00:14:57,918
Muy bien. Vamos.

306
00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:09,001
[Tanner] Yah. Coming through.
I know the, uh, captain.

307
00:15:09,084 --> 00:15:11,793
He's the kids' uncle, so move it.

308
00:15:11,876 --> 00:15:14,751
-Hey, say hello to your uncle, kids.
-Uncle?

309
00:15:14,834 --> 00:15:16,334
Just messing with you.

310
00:15:16,418 --> 00:15:19,709
I'm trying to bang their mother,
and she made me take them to the park.

311
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:21,376
-Can you believe that?
-What?

312
00:15:21,459 --> 00:15:23,584
What, what?
If you don't wanna know the truth,

313
00:15:23,668 --> 00:15:26,376
stop listening in
on other people's conversations.

314
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,626
I think he…
Honestly, I think this one's slow.

315
00:15:28,709 --> 00:15:31,001
Here. Why don't you go on the ride?
Thank you.

316
00:15:31,084 --> 00:15:32,709
Insane birthday party, huh?

317
00:15:32,793 --> 00:15:36,126
I had, like, six beers.
I'm hungover like a mofo.

318
00:15:36,209 --> 00:15:37,209
Okay.

319
00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:40,168
Yeah, it got totally outta hand.

320
00:15:40,251 --> 00:15:42,959
Fucked three chicks, or hens, or whatever.

321
00:15:43,043 --> 00:15:46,209
I thought there were
mostly senior citizens there last night.

322
00:15:46,293 --> 00:15:47,251
What can I say?

323
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:50,501
I like the taste of raisins
just as good as grapes.

324
00:15:51,459 --> 00:15:52,293
Okay.

325
00:15:52,376 --> 00:15:55,876
Anyway, I can't believe
I'm finally 33 and a half.

326
00:15:55,959 --> 00:16:00,626
Wow, time flies when you're doing great
and having tons of fun at the same time,

327
00:16:00,709 --> 00:16:02,584
both at work and in private.

328
00:16:02,668 --> 00:16:04,834
Sure… Sure. Yes, I get it.

329
00:16:08,251 --> 00:16:11,584
Hey, what's wrong with this ride?
Can't it go any faster?

330
00:16:11,668 --> 00:16:15,126
Well, this is as fast as I am allowed
to take this… old lady.

331
00:16:15,209 --> 00:16:16,709
Come on, Tiny J.

332
00:16:16,793 --> 00:16:20,209
You know I'm a real captain, right?
I could order you if I wanted to.

333
00:16:20,293 --> 00:16:22,793
Ah, I… [chuckling] I don't think
you could do that.

334
00:16:22,876 --> 00:16:25,001
Oh. Oh, you wanna test me? Do you?

335
00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,709
-No.
-Do you seriously wanna test me?

336
00:16:26,793 --> 00:16:29,126
-I really don't--
-I hereby commandeer this ship.

337
00:16:29,209 --> 00:16:30,334
[Jonathan] No!

338
00:16:30,418 --> 00:16:32,418
[kid] Yay-hey! Whoo!

339
00:16:32,501 --> 00:16:34,043
[yelling]

340
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:35,834
[Jonathan] Oh! Oh!

341
00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:41,043
[screaming]

342
00:16:45,168 --> 00:16:48,293
God, Jonathan! That was so dangerous!

343
00:16:48,376 --> 00:16:50,084
[metal creaking]

344
00:16:50,168 --> 00:16:52,168
[screaming]

345
00:16:53,084 --> 00:16:54,418
[woman] Where's my baby?

346
00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:56,209
[man over PA] Thar she blows!

347
00:16:56,293 --> 00:16:58,209
Oh…

348
00:16:58,293 --> 00:17:01,376
Okay. Well, okay.
And now my clothes are wet.

349
00:17:02,001 --> 00:17:05,543
Jonathan Fall,
you have shown a lack of responsibility,

350
00:17:05,626 --> 00:17:08,584
and I have no choice
but to remove you of your stripe.

351
00:17:08,668 --> 00:17:11,293
-Please, sir. You can't do this.
-[grunts]

352
00:17:11,376 --> 00:17:13,543
-Well, I just did!
-[distant sirens wailing]

353
00:17:13,626 --> 00:17:15,084
Ah! [inhales sharply]

354
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:16,334
Darn, that hurts.

355
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:17,876
[pensive music playing]

356
00:17:17,959 --> 00:17:19,293
[knocking on door]

357
00:17:20,668 --> 00:17:21,501
Mom?

358
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,543
Dad?

359
00:17:24,626 --> 00:17:25,668
Anyone home?

360
00:17:27,293 --> 00:17:29,668
Mom? Dad?

361
00:17:30,709 --> 00:17:31,543
Hello?

362
00:17:32,043 --> 00:17:35,626
Anyone in here? No. Where are you guys?

363
00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:40,084
-Hel… Oh!
-[rhythmic clicking]

364
00:17:40,834 --> 00:17:42,251
-[grunting]
-[bed squeaking]

365
00:17:42,334 --> 00:17:43,251
[squelching]

366
00:17:43,334 --> 00:17:46,543
-[gasps] What the hell, Jonathan?
-Hi.

367
00:17:46,626 --> 00:17:48,834
You know very well
what that metronome means.

368
00:17:48,918 --> 00:17:51,293
It's lovemaking at a BPM
that makes us come

369
00:17:51,376 --> 00:17:53,501
at the exact same second.

370
00:17:53,584 --> 00:17:55,876
Yes, I know. Sorry, I… I know.

371
00:17:55,959 --> 00:17:57,084
[Blake sighs]

372
00:17:57,168 --> 00:17:58,876
Well? What?

373
00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:02,626
[sighs] It's just
that I was, uh, demoted at work,

374
00:18:02,709 --> 00:18:05,209
and, um… I was just wondering

375
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:06,876
if you could speak to Tanner

376
00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:10,209
about me maybe getting
some work experience on his ship.

377
00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:12,918
-He… He won't listen to me.
-On Tanner's ship?

378
00:18:13,001 --> 00:18:16,709
Is that how you wanna live your life,
taking handouts to get what you want?

379
00:18:16,793 --> 00:18:19,501
Not working for it? I don't think so.

380
00:18:19,584 --> 00:18:21,959
-That's not how the Fall family works.
-[lube squelches]

381
00:18:22,043 --> 00:18:22,918
No way.

382
00:18:23,001 --> 00:18:24,959
Jonathan, darling.

383
00:18:25,751 --> 00:18:26,668
Yes, Mom?

384
00:18:27,168 --> 00:18:30,418
Why don't you get out of the room
so that your father and I can finish?

385
00:18:30,501 --> 00:18:35,084
No offense,
but your presence is a huge, huge turnoff.

386
00:18:35,168 --> 00:18:37,501
Yes! Now, get the hell out!

387
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:40,459
-[metronome clicking]
-Jesus. There we go. [grunts softly]

388
00:18:40,543 --> 00:18:43,418
Oh, you're s… Okay, yes.
That's… That's my cue. [chuckles]

389
00:18:43,501 --> 00:18:46,084
[Blake grunts and splutters]

390
00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:52,959
Okay. We're here.

391
00:18:53,043 --> 00:18:55,918
Oh, and Liza,
try not to attract any attention please.

392
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,709
-Just quick in and out, hmm?
-Sure thing, Pedro.

393
00:18:58,793 --> 00:19:00,959
You know me. I'll be discreet.

394
00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:01,876
Muy bien.

395
00:19:07,168 --> 00:19:08,918
So what can I do for you?

396
00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:12,709
My employer is looking for a captain
for a high-end cruise ship.

397
00:19:12,793 --> 00:19:16,084
Perfect. We have some
of the best candidates in the country.

398
00:19:16,168 --> 00:19:19,501
Great. We are
an unconventional cruise line,

399
00:19:19,584 --> 00:19:22,001
and we are all about
giving everyone a chance.

400
00:19:22,084 --> 00:19:23,876
-Sounds good.
-Yes.

401
00:19:23,959 --> 00:19:26,459
So I was hoping we could start
at the bottom of your deck

402
00:19:26,543 --> 00:19:28,001
and work our way up from there.

403
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:31,043
So you want the worst candidate?

404
00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:31,959
Mm… Maybe.

405
00:19:32,043 --> 00:19:33,043
[keys tapping]

406
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:37,001
Well, the very worst candidate
is a man by the name of Jonathan Fall.

407
00:19:37,084 --> 00:19:39,293
He was at the bottom of his class,

408
00:19:39,376 --> 00:19:43,418
and he has all the qualities
that you're not looking for in a leader,

409
00:19:43,501 --> 00:19:45,459
as you can see here.

410
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,876
Hmm. Gullibility through the roof,

411
00:19:47,959 --> 00:19:52,084
extremely low on natural authority,
alphaness, suspiciousness. Uh!

412
00:19:53,043 --> 00:19:55,709
-This seems like a great fit.
-Really?

413
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:59,584
Wow, this is so great to hear.

414
00:19:59,668 --> 00:20:02,751
I'm gonna make a huge deal about this
and tell everyone.

415
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:04,876
Hey. Please, please, Mrs. Porter.

416
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:07,459
Discretion is of immense importance
to my employer.

417
00:20:07,543 --> 00:20:10,918
Are you kidding?
I'm already making an Instagram post.

418
00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:15,126
We have over 900,000 followers,
so the reach is pretty spectacular.

419
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:17,001
This is bound to go viral,

420
00:20:17,084 --> 00:20:20,501
and you and your employer
will have your faces all over it.

421
00:20:20,584 --> 00:20:23,001
You know, I'm so sorry,
but we can't have that.

422
00:20:23,084 --> 00:20:23,918
[gasps]

423
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,001
-Ah!
-Sorry.

424
00:20:28,668 --> 00:20:31,126
Sorry. Uh, sorry. Sorry.

425
00:20:31,209 --> 00:20:33,126
["Why Don't You Do It? playing on radio]

426
00:20:33,209 --> 00:20:34,043
Shit.

427
00:20:38,751 --> 00:20:40,793
Yeah, so, uh…

428
00:20:40,876 --> 00:20:41,709
Sorry.

429
00:20:43,376 --> 00:20:44,709
-[toilet flushes]
-[sighs]

430
00:20:44,793 --> 00:20:45,626
Merde.

431
00:20:47,293 --> 00:20:49,501
And… sorry.

432
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:53,834
♪ When I woke up you had gone… ♪

433
00:20:53,918 --> 00:20:54,834
[sighs]

434
00:20:54,918 --> 00:20:56,126
[song continues on radio]

435
00:20:56,209 --> 00:20:58,751
♪ And I was here on my own ♪

436
00:21:00,918 --> 00:21:05,043
♪ You left a note on the bedroom door ♪

437
00:21:05,876 --> 00:21:09,418
♪ It said that you would be back ♪

438
00:21:09,501 --> 00:21:10,334
["Liberty" playing]

439
00:21:10,418 --> 00:21:13,626
♪ I know you wanna get up next to me… ♪

440
00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:15,751
Smooth, Liza. Very smooth.

441
00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:21,043
[tires screech]

442
00:21:24,793 --> 00:21:26,001
[doorbell rings]

443
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:35,209
Well, I'll be cocked.

444
00:21:36,793 --> 00:21:38,043
[Alexis] Jonathan!

445
00:21:38,126 --> 00:21:40,043
Darling!

446
00:21:40,126 --> 00:21:42,376
Breakfast is ready!

447
00:21:42,459 --> 00:21:46,918
-For me?
-Yes, for you, my little scoundrel.

448
00:21:49,543 --> 00:21:52,418
Johnny, good God,
we've missed you so much.

449
00:21:52,501 --> 00:21:56,876
-Since yesterday?
-Yes, since yesterday. Did you sleep okay?

450
00:21:58,543 --> 00:22:00,918
Oh… Okay. What? What is going on?

451
00:22:01,001 --> 00:22:04,376
Please, Mom, this is disgusting.
Ya… Revolting!

452
00:22:04,459 --> 00:22:09,584
What? I am not allowed
to tell my favorite son

453
00:22:09,668 --> 00:22:11,751
that I love him and miss him?

454
00:22:11,834 --> 00:22:14,543
What?! Love and miss Jonathan?

455
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:17,084
I'm… I'm the favorite son. Dad, tell her.

456
00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:20,376
Sorry, Tanner.
We don't favor any of our children.

457
00:22:20,459 --> 00:22:24,626
But if I was to choose, which I won't,
right now it would be Jonathan.

458
00:22:24,709 --> 00:22:25,584
[Alexis] Me too.

459
00:22:25,668 --> 00:22:28,709
If I had to.
If I was pushed into a corner.

460
00:22:28,793 --> 00:22:31,876
Okay.
What kind of bizarre charade is this?

461
00:22:31,959 --> 00:22:34,876
You guys always say
that you dread the day he was born,

462
00:22:34,959 --> 00:22:37,584
and that he's a loser,
and that you hoped for so long

463
00:22:37,668 --> 00:22:41,418
that there was a mix-up at the hospital,
and you'd get your real child back.

464
00:22:41,501 --> 00:22:42,501
You always say that.

465
00:22:42,584 --> 00:22:44,709
That's enough, Tanner. Shoo! Shoo!

466
00:22:45,584 --> 00:22:50,501
You received this today
from the Caribbean Queen.

467
00:22:50,584 --> 00:22:53,626
You have received a formal job offer

468
00:22:53,709 --> 00:22:54,876
to be a captain!

469
00:22:54,959 --> 00:22:56,251
[Jonathan gasps]

470
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:57,584
-Wow.
-What?

471
00:22:57,668 --> 00:23:00,543
What? We're kidding.
We're joking, right? [laughs]

472
00:23:00,626 --> 00:23:05,168
Are we kidding? No? What are…
You'll be the worst captain on earth!

473
00:23:05,793 --> 00:23:06,918
I don't get it!

474
00:23:07,001 --> 00:23:09,043
[footsteps recede]

475
00:23:16,209 --> 00:23:18,209
[triumphant music playing]

476
00:23:25,501 --> 00:23:28,376
It… It fits pretty great, doesn't it?

477
00:23:28,459 --> 00:23:31,918
My beautiful boy, I'm so proud of you.

478
00:23:32,001 --> 00:23:33,293
-[car horn toots]
-Oh!

479
00:23:33,376 --> 00:23:36,626
Your car is here. Good luck… son.

480
00:23:36,709 --> 00:23:39,168
-[triumphant music continues]
-Put that silly hand away.

481
00:23:39,251 --> 00:23:41,459
Get in here. Oh yeah.

482
00:23:41,543 --> 00:23:43,501
[gasps] It's happening.

483
00:23:43,584 --> 00:23:46,793
Oh, damn. That's a warm and loving hug.

484
00:23:46,876 --> 00:23:48,584
-Your turn, Alexis.
-Huh. Oh…

485
00:23:48,668 --> 00:23:52,043
-Go on. You can do this.
-Yes, I know how to hug.

486
00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:53,168
I… Uh… Huh.

487
00:23:53,668 --> 00:23:55,209
-There it is.
-[Alexis groans]

488
00:23:55,293 --> 00:23:56,501
-Ha-ha.
-[Alexis strains]

489
00:23:56,584 --> 00:23:58,626
-So much love in the room.
-[Alexis] Mm.

490
00:23:58,709 --> 00:23:59,543
So much.

491
00:23:59,626 --> 00:24:01,459
Okay, yeah.

492
00:24:03,251 --> 00:24:05,501
Morning, Captain.
Let me take that for you.

493
00:24:05,584 --> 00:24:08,751
Oh, thank you very much.
That's, uh, me, Captain. [chuckles]

494
00:24:08,834 --> 00:24:10,376
-[Blake] Bye-bye, son!
-[Alexis] Bye…

495
00:24:10,459 --> 00:24:11,793
-[Blake] Great hug.
-[Alexis] …you!

496
00:24:11,876 --> 00:24:13,959
-Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad.
-Bye!

497
00:24:14,043 --> 00:24:17,209
-Bye-bye.
-Bye, Consuela. Oh, bye, Tanner.

498
00:24:17,293 --> 00:24:19,293
[proud fanfare playing]

499
00:24:23,918 --> 00:24:24,751
Huh.

500
00:24:27,334 --> 00:24:28,584
[sighs]

501
00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:29,501
Wow.

502
00:24:30,584 --> 00:24:32,918
[triumphant orchestral music continues]

503
00:24:37,293 --> 00:24:38,668
[British man] Very well.

504
00:24:39,251 --> 00:24:42,001
Very well indeed.

505
00:24:42,084 --> 00:24:44,001
-You see that, Bon Jovi?
-[cat meows]

506
00:24:44,084 --> 00:24:46,126
That is my new captain.

507
00:24:46,709 --> 00:24:50,126
The future of our enterprise.

508
00:24:50,209 --> 00:24:52,209
-[British man chortles]
-[crows caw]

509
00:24:53,501 --> 00:24:55,501
[chortling continues]

510
00:24:56,001 --> 00:24:58,001
[climactic choral music playing]

511
00:25:00,459 --> 00:25:02,459
[music fades]