1 00:00:05,959 --> 00:00:07,959 [epic music playing] 2 00:00:16,918 --> 00:00:19,043 -Flat screwdriver, please. -Roger. 3 00:00:22,501 --> 00:00:24,709 Thanks. Wow, this is one nice tool. 4 00:00:24,793 --> 00:00:28,876 Just as I like my screwdrivers, nice and flat, sits good in the glove. 5 00:00:28,959 --> 00:00:30,334 Yeah, sure. 6 00:00:30,418 --> 00:00:32,668 And the jumbo size crowbar, please. 7 00:00:33,959 --> 00:00:36,501 Wow, that is truly huge. Over seven feet long. 8 00:00:36,584 --> 00:00:40,084 I guess few have seen such a huge crowbar before, but, uh… 9 00:00:40,168 --> 00:00:42,126 that's the size we use here in space. 10 00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:46,043 It's a decent size, yes, uh, but concentrate on grabbing it. 11 00:00:46,126 --> 00:00:48,293 -Don't talk so much. -Oops. 12 00:00:48,376 --> 00:00:49,209 Dammit. 13 00:00:49,293 --> 00:00:54,751 Oh man, I didn't get that. Tool lost. I repeat. We lost a tool. Goddamn it. 14 00:00:54,834 --> 00:00:55,918 Great job. 15 00:00:56,001 --> 00:00:59,459 Now it'll orbit for two and a half years before entering Earth's atmosphere. 16 00:00:59,543 --> 00:01:01,293 Heads up down there. In a while. 17 00:01:01,376 --> 00:01:03,334 Sorry, fellas. That was my bad. 18 00:01:03,418 --> 00:01:04,626 Yeah, obviously. 19 00:01:11,918 --> 00:01:13,501 [chuckling] 20 00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:14,418 Hey! 21 00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:15,918 -Hey, Mamadou! -Hi, Mamadou! 22 00:01:16,001 --> 00:01:18,543 Wow. Look at you guys. [laughs] 23 00:01:18,626 --> 00:01:21,584 You got yourself similar necklaces. Congrats. 24 00:01:21,668 --> 00:01:23,876 But what's the deal with those fake fingers? 25 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:26,626 Oh, they are real. These are albino charms. 26 00:01:26,709 --> 00:01:28,293 Actually cost a fortune. 27 00:01:28,376 --> 00:01:31,751 What? You have actually bought that horrible witchcraft crap? 28 00:01:31,834 --> 00:01:34,584 Yeah. Been weighing the pros and cons for a while, 29 00:01:34,668 --> 00:01:37,834 but we finally decided to go for it. They're for good luck. 30 00:01:37,918 --> 00:01:40,543 For good luck? You have a master's degree, for Christ's sake. 31 00:01:40,626 --> 00:01:42,543 You are a man of science! A scholar! 32 00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:44,709 So what? There are more things in Heaven and Earth 33 00:01:44,793 --> 00:01:46,751 than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Mamadou. 34 00:01:46,834 --> 00:01:50,168 But why would an albino finger bring you luck? Huh? 35 00:01:50,251 --> 00:01:52,751 That is just gruesome and superstitious. 36 00:01:52,834 --> 00:01:55,584 Well, at least I dared to be a little politically incorrect 37 00:01:55,668 --> 00:01:58,084 instead of just going with what the majority seems to think 38 00:01:58,168 --> 00:01:59,001 at all times. 39 00:01:59,084 --> 00:02:03,126 Yeah. Live a little, Mamadou. You're walking around with blinders. 40 00:02:03,209 --> 00:02:04,209 [sighs] 41 00:02:04,293 --> 00:02:07,293 Uh-uh-uh, and what if it actually works, Mamadou, eh? 42 00:02:07,376 --> 00:02:10,459 What if it gives me the luck to maybe find my soulmate 43 00:02:10,543 --> 00:02:13,168 or get filthy rich in some cool, random way? 44 00:02:13,251 --> 00:02:15,918 Do you want to take that away from me? Really? 45 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:21,251 Keep living in the Dark Ages, guys. Ah, forget about progress and science. 46 00:02:21,334 --> 00:02:22,168 Great job. 47 00:02:27,501 --> 00:02:30,876 You should just embrace that people believe in different things. 48 00:02:30,959 --> 00:02:32,543 It's called freedom of religion. 49 00:02:32,626 --> 00:02:35,001 Yes. And you know what Socrates said? 50 00:02:35,084 --> 00:02:38,626 The only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing. 51 00:02:38,709 --> 00:02:40,668 Mm, that is actually true. 52 00:02:40,751 --> 00:02:42,168 Yes, exactly. 53 00:02:42,251 --> 00:02:45,793 So maybe we are right and you are wrong, Mamadou. Who knows? 54 00:02:50,001 --> 00:02:51,959 Can't you just try it on, Mamadou? 55 00:02:52,043 --> 00:02:55,043 Just for one minute, and we'll see if something lucky happens, huh? 56 00:02:55,126 --> 00:02:57,043 Yeah, just for fun. Here, have mine. 57 00:02:57,126 --> 00:02:58,251 -No. -Come here, Mamadou. 58 00:02:58,334 --> 00:02:59,793 -This is just stupid. -[woman laughs] 59 00:02:59,876 --> 00:03:02,293 Come on. What's the worst thing that could happen, eh? 60 00:03:02,376 --> 00:03:04,084 That you get equal luck as you already have? 61 00:03:07,668 --> 00:03:09,959 Careful! I don't want that dead finger touching me. 62 00:03:10,043 --> 00:03:12,043 Mamadou, come here. Let's see, here. 63 00:03:12,751 --> 00:03:14,293 Now, feeling lucky yet? 64 00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:16,918 -No. -Hmm? 65 00:03:17,001 --> 00:03:18,376 I'm not feeling anything. 66 00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:20,126 -[yelling] -What the… 67 00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:24,918 -[screaming] Ah! -Oh my God, he's dead. Oh no, no, no. 68 00:03:25,001 --> 00:03:26,626 Oh. Oh my God. 69 00:03:26,709 --> 00:03:28,501 -Oh my God. -Ahh. 70 00:03:28,584 --> 00:03:29,834 Oh! 71 00:03:29,918 --> 00:03:32,126 [frantic string music playing] 72 00:03:42,459 --> 00:03:43,668 -Good morning. -Hi! 73 00:03:44,293 --> 00:03:45,751 Captain? Oh, Captain! 74 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:49,834 Hi, you're probably very busy, but may I bother you for a second? 75 00:03:49,918 --> 00:03:52,001 Sure, ma'am. What can I do you for? 76 00:03:52,084 --> 00:03:54,543 Just a photo with the most handsome man on board. [chuckles] 77 00:03:54,626 --> 00:03:58,293 -If that's not too much to ask. -Okay, who is he? Can I find him for you? 78 00:03:58,376 --> 00:03:59,668 [woman laugh] 79 00:03:59,751 --> 00:04:01,876 He's hilarious. It's you, silly! 80 00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:03,834 Me? [chuckles] 81 00:04:04,334 --> 00:04:06,668 What? Are you… Are you being serious now? 82 00:04:06,751 --> 00:04:08,709 -Yeah. -[both giggle] 83 00:04:08,793 --> 00:04:09,668 Of course. 84 00:04:09,751 --> 00:04:11,668 Um… Uh, sorry. It's just, um… 85 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:15,584 that I was always told that I wasn't, uh, exactly, um… 86 00:04:15,668 --> 00:04:18,543 you know, so… something to, uh, rest your eyes on. 87 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,584 -But, you know, sure. Sure thing. Yeah. -Okay. 88 00:04:21,668 --> 00:04:22,543 -Happy to. -Um… 89 00:04:22,626 --> 00:04:23,459 Say cheese. 90 00:04:23,543 --> 00:04:25,043 [Jonathan and woman] Cheese! 91 00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:27,334 Yes. Mm-hmm. 92 00:04:28,251 --> 00:04:31,834 Yes, no, of course, Mr. Tyrant. They are rare. They are in demand, 93 00:04:31,918 --> 00:04:35,459 and the price per finger is astronomical, I see that, 94 00:04:35,543 --> 00:04:37,209 but isn't this still a bit-- 95 00:04:37,293 --> 00:04:39,876 We will provide this service. 96 00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:43,418 We cannot let personal morality clutter our judgment. 97 00:04:43,501 --> 00:04:45,959 Morality is just a subjective feeling, Liza. 98 00:04:46,043 --> 00:04:47,293 You have to learn to suppress it 99 00:04:47,376 --> 00:04:49,584 if you want to succeed in this line of business. 100 00:04:49,668 --> 00:04:51,293 Uh, noted, sir. 101 00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:54,001 [Tyrant] Besides, they will never even board the ship. 102 00:04:54,084 --> 00:04:58,043 We will only use the Caribbean Queen to lure them out of hiding. 103 00:04:58,126 --> 00:04:58,959 Oh. 104 00:04:59,043 --> 00:05:03,793 [Tyrant] And try to focus on all the luck it will bring to people all over. 105 00:05:04,293 --> 00:05:05,418 I'm trying. 106 00:05:05,501 --> 00:05:07,251 [Tyrant] We are aiding people in need, 107 00:05:07,334 --> 00:05:11,168 giving them a glimmer of hope in a strife-torn world. 108 00:05:14,168 --> 00:05:15,001 [Liza] Mm. 109 00:05:15,084 --> 00:05:17,626 [Tyrant] This is us giving back to society. Almost. 110 00:05:17,709 --> 00:05:21,001 [Liza] Yeah. Maybe it is possible to look at it like that. 111 00:05:21,084 --> 00:05:23,793 [Tyrant] It sure is. Make it happen. 112 00:05:23,876 --> 00:05:25,001 -Yes, sir, I w… -[line beeps] 113 00:05:25,084 --> 00:05:26,584 Hello? Hello, sir? 114 00:05:28,168 --> 00:05:29,043 [softly] Fuck. 115 00:05:33,376 --> 00:05:34,834 [moaning] 116 00:05:36,251 --> 00:05:41,459 [Tanner] Consuela! I want my breakfast. Chop-chop! 117 00:05:41,543 --> 00:05:44,293 It is on your plate, Mr. Fall the Younger. 118 00:05:44,376 --> 00:05:48,251 [Tanner] You have not made my breakfast if you have not cut my toast! 119 00:05:48,334 --> 00:05:51,626 You know this. It's your job! 120 00:05:51,709 --> 00:05:54,876 It has been your job for 30 years! 121 00:05:58,709 --> 00:06:01,126 You are not my boss, with all due respect. 122 00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:05,668 No, not technically, but you get paid by my father to do this. 123 00:06:05,751 --> 00:06:08,251 He is not here, and since I am his heir, 124 00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:11,751 I'm indirectly your superior, and you're under my jurisdiction. 125 00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:16,376 Well, your dad is my employer, and, uh, he's just out in the garden. 126 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:18,459 Do not talk back to me, Consuela, 127 00:06:18,543 --> 00:06:21,876 because then I'll have to petition to get your tubby ass fired 128 00:06:21,959 --> 00:06:25,668 if you don't fall in line, and I don't wanna do that. 129 00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:27,918 Okay, Tanner. Finish your breakfast. 130 00:06:28,001 --> 00:06:32,918 Oh-ho! It's all fun and games till you're fired, Consuela. 131 00:06:34,043 --> 00:06:35,376 [pigeons coo] 132 00:06:40,418 --> 00:06:41,293 [engine starts] 133 00:06:42,376 --> 00:06:45,126 Yeah! Fuck you, birds! 134 00:06:47,626 --> 00:06:49,334 [tires squeal] 135 00:06:50,918 --> 00:06:54,793 Hey, girls. How about a ménage à trois at nap time? 136 00:06:54,876 --> 00:06:56,584 Um… Come again, sir? 137 00:06:56,668 --> 00:07:00,209 I said, let's fornicate when the babies are asleep. 138 00:07:00,293 --> 00:07:01,876 That's a hard pass. Sorry. 139 00:07:01,959 --> 00:07:04,209 -Oh, come on! -Can you believe this guy? 140 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:07,043 It's not like you're two innocent virgins walking here. 141 00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:09,959 Everyone can see that you've done it before. 142 00:07:10,043 --> 00:07:11,293 Hence the babies. 143 00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:13,251 How about screw you? 144 00:07:13,334 --> 00:07:17,084 You're obviously not strangers to the old intercourse, 145 00:07:17,168 --> 00:07:19,876 so what's the problem with letting me have a little go? 146 00:07:19,959 --> 00:07:22,209 I'm sorry, what's wrong with you, sir? 147 00:07:22,293 --> 00:07:24,543 Do you have a condition or something? Should… Should we… 148 00:07:24,626 --> 00:07:26,418 -Should we call someone? -Uh! 149 00:07:26,501 --> 00:07:28,334 -Nothing is wrong with me. -[car horn beeps] 150 00:07:28,418 --> 00:07:32,626 I'm just a handsome devil making a tempting proposition. 151 00:07:32,709 --> 00:07:33,584 No, I don't think so. 152 00:07:33,668 --> 00:07:36,834 Something is definitely wrong with you because that's just gotta be 153 00:07:36,918 --> 00:07:39,834 the worst proposition in the history of propositions. 154 00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:42,043 All right, your loss, ladies. 155 00:07:42,126 --> 00:07:45,418 But know this, I've been known to turn the driest desert 156 00:07:45,501 --> 00:07:48,376 into the sloppiest quagmire. [chuckles] 157 00:07:48,459 --> 00:07:49,293 Peace out! 158 00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:51,293 -[car horn blares] -Hey! Hey! 159 00:08:00,209 --> 00:08:01,459 Ladies first. 160 00:08:01,543 --> 00:08:03,626 No, no, no, you go right ahead, Captain. 161 00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:04,876 I insist. 162 00:08:04,959 --> 00:08:05,793 Okay… 163 00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:10,043 Damn. Now, that's a tight ass. Like a drumskin. 164 00:08:10,126 --> 00:08:10,959 -[slaps] -[gasps] 165 00:08:11,043 --> 00:08:14,084 Kudos to you. You have earned my respect. 166 00:08:17,876 --> 00:08:20,251 Oh, hi there, Ms. Barell! Check this out. 167 00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,709 Now everyone on the bridge will remember the difference 168 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:24,918 between port and starboard side. [chuckles] 169 00:08:25,001 --> 00:08:27,084 Oh. Okay, that's great. 170 00:08:27,168 --> 00:08:29,959 Yes, there have been some unfortunate incidents 171 00:08:30,043 --> 00:08:33,584 when crew members've misremembered, which has led to hazardous episodes 172 00:08:33,668 --> 00:08:39,001 and some injuries both to crew, passengers, docks, and the ship. 173 00:08:39,084 --> 00:08:40,793 And I have been involved in a number of them. 174 00:08:40,876 --> 00:08:44,168 I'm not gonna lie, so, you know, I'm not perfect by any means. 175 00:08:44,251 --> 00:08:48,084 No, no, but that is smart anyway. It will help everyone. 176 00:08:48,168 --> 00:08:50,709 -Do you want some assistance with that? -Sure. 177 00:08:50,793 --> 00:08:51,959 -Great. -Thank you. 178 00:08:52,043 --> 00:08:56,626 You know, captain, you strike me as a person with a big heart. 179 00:08:56,709 --> 00:09:00,334 -You know, you like to help people. -Yes, whenever I get the chance. 180 00:09:00,418 --> 00:09:04,918 So, you see, the crew was talking about wanting to help the less fortunate. 181 00:09:05,001 --> 00:09:07,626 Is that something you would be interested in too? 182 00:09:07,709 --> 00:09:09,126 -Of course. -Great! 183 00:09:09,209 --> 00:09:10,418 -Yes. -Great! 184 00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:12,834 Because we have some free capacity now, 185 00:09:12,918 --> 00:09:16,751 so maybe we could do a charitable cruise for a group that never gets attention? 186 00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:18,209 Uh, definitely. 187 00:09:18,293 --> 00:09:20,709 Um… And… And who might that be? 188 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:22,001 The albinos. 189 00:09:22,084 --> 00:09:24,501 The… albinos? 190 00:09:24,584 --> 00:09:26,709 Yeah. You know, the extra-white-skinned people. 191 00:09:26,793 --> 00:09:28,834 Oh, them. Uh… 192 00:09:28,918 --> 00:09:31,376 Yes. Uh, wh… why? 193 00:09:31,459 --> 00:09:33,084 Excuse me? Why? 194 00:09:33,168 --> 00:09:34,209 Why not? 195 00:09:34,293 --> 00:09:37,501 I mean, why should we rank people based on the color of their skin? 196 00:09:37,584 --> 00:09:39,834 That's racism in its purest form, Captain, 197 00:09:39,918 --> 00:09:42,084 and I hope that's not what you are all about. 198 00:09:42,168 --> 00:09:43,668 No! No, no, no, no. No, no, no. 199 00:09:43,751 --> 00:09:45,793 I'm… I'm not racist at all. 200 00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,834 -[Liza sighs] -No, that's a great idea. Yes. 201 00:09:47,918 --> 00:09:51,376 Great, and what we're going to do is make to personal video invitations 202 00:09:51,459 --> 00:09:54,834 and send it to selected albinos all over the world. 203 00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:56,543 Great. Great. I love that. 204 00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,543 Yes. I… I am all in. 205 00:10:07,626 --> 00:10:11,418 Okay, calm down. Good morning, people. All right, listen up, everyone. 206 00:10:11,501 --> 00:10:14,418 Gather round. We have a big day ahead of us. Lots to do. 207 00:10:14,501 --> 00:10:16,376 But before I start the morning brief, 208 00:10:16,459 --> 00:10:19,876 I would like to use the opportunity to tell a little story. 209 00:10:19,959 --> 00:10:22,834 Something special happened to me last night. 210 00:10:23,334 --> 00:10:26,834 So I'm at this party. Real classy, real upscale. 211 00:10:26,918 --> 00:10:29,959 But it's pretty wild, and everyone there is naked. 212 00:10:30,043 --> 00:10:35,168 I'm the only guy. The rest are chicks, and they are fucking beautiful. 213 00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:38,709 Amazing bodies, right? Tits to die for. 214 00:10:40,084 --> 00:10:43,251 Anyway, I start penetrating, right? 215 00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:46,209 -One girl after another, pumping away. -[groans] 216 00:10:46,293 --> 00:10:48,209 Really jackhammering these chicks. 217 00:10:48,293 --> 00:10:54,043 And all of a sudden, they all climax at the exact same time. 218 00:10:54,126 --> 00:10:55,626 It was insane. 219 00:10:55,709 --> 00:10:58,001 At least 15 chicks screaming 220 00:10:58,084 --> 00:11:01,376 and… and… and fountain orgasming all over. 221 00:11:01,459 --> 00:11:04,168 -[woman gags] -Just floors, flooded with squirt-- 222 00:11:04,251 --> 00:11:07,834 Okay, Captain. Great story. That is amusing, but it is time to go. 223 00:11:07,918 --> 00:11:10,043 -We're running late. -I'm… Okay, Greg, wow. 224 00:11:10,126 --> 00:11:11,959 All right. I was in the middle of a story. 225 00:11:12,043 --> 00:11:13,168 Sorry, Captain. 226 00:11:13,251 --> 00:11:16,418 It's… It's just that we will be behind schedule if we don't leave now. 227 00:11:16,501 --> 00:11:19,126 Well, then, Greg, we're gonna be late, okay? 228 00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:21,251 No point of hearing half my dream, right? 229 00:11:21,334 --> 00:11:23,584 It's a dream? It's not even a real story? 230 00:11:23,668 --> 00:11:26,376 [chuckles] I wish. No, it was totally a dream, 231 00:11:26,459 --> 00:11:29,501 but it was so real in my mind, so vivid and sensual. 232 00:11:29,584 --> 00:11:32,501 -I thought it'd be negligent not to share. -It wouldn't. 233 00:11:32,584 --> 00:11:35,084 Excuse me, Belinda, one second. 234 00:11:35,168 --> 00:11:39,834 -Oh! That ass. Oh yeah! Oh yeah! -No… 235 00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:41,834 Oh! Oh! Oh! 236 00:11:41,918 --> 00:11:43,668 It's a runaway fire hose! 237 00:11:43,751 --> 00:11:46,668 Uh-oh, I need another hand to control this thing. 238 00:11:46,751 --> 00:11:48,043 What the hell, Captain? 239 00:11:48,126 --> 00:11:52,834 It's only a joke. A classy and tasteful sexual innuendo. 240 00:11:52,918 --> 00:11:55,001 That's just so unprofessional. 241 00:11:55,084 --> 00:11:57,168 [laughs] Yeah. I know, right? 242 00:11:57,251 --> 00:11:58,793 [chortles] 243 00:11:58,876 --> 00:12:00,293 Oh, we have fun. 244 00:12:00,376 --> 00:12:05,168 Okay. Enough horsing around here, people. Come on, let's get back to work. 245 00:12:07,293 --> 00:12:09,668 [Liza] Oh. You're doing so well, Captain. 246 00:12:09,751 --> 00:12:12,001 Could you do, like, one more take for us? 247 00:12:12,084 --> 00:12:15,459 Yeah, and maybe try one with even more sincerity. 248 00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:19,376 Like, just say it like you mean it. Not… Not too much, just a tad. 249 00:12:19,459 --> 00:12:22,668 You know? You're almost there. It's just a minimal adjustment. 250 00:12:22,751 --> 00:12:24,293 Really too small to register. 251 00:12:24,376 --> 00:12:25,293 -[Pablo] Pff! -Okay? 252 00:12:25,376 --> 00:12:27,376 What do you know about film production, Nico? 253 00:12:27,459 --> 00:12:30,793 Uh, well, since you ask, I've done quite a few radio commercials, 254 00:12:30,876 --> 00:12:33,668 and I had a part in a TV series back in the day. 255 00:12:33,751 --> 00:12:34,876 -Really? -Yeah. 256 00:12:34,959 --> 00:12:38,709 Or I was an extra, but I got quite a good amount of screen time, 257 00:12:38,793 --> 00:12:41,168 so, uh, please just let me do my thing. 258 00:12:41,251 --> 00:12:43,834 -The man know his things. -Sure, Nico. 259 00:12:43,918 --> 00:12:48,293 Oh, Captain? Uh, one more take, please. Just a tiny bit more sincere. 260 00:12:48,376 --> 00:12:51,418 Yeah, but more sincere, but not noticeably, okay? 261 00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:52,584 Oh, yeah, sure thing. 262 00:12:52,668 --> 00:12:54,084 [Liza] And action! 263 00:12:54,168 --> 00:12:55,209 [clears throat] 264 00:12:55,876 --> 00:12:57,876 Dear albino friend. 265 00:12:57,959 --> 00:13:01,084 I, Captain Johnathan Fall, have distinct the honor 266 00:13:01,168 --> 00:13:05,668 of personally inviting you to the cruise of your lifetime. 267 00:13:05,751 --> 00:13:10,709 The only thing I want from you in return is that you keep this our secret. 268 00:13:10,793 --> 00:13:14,959 No one can know that we are treating you to this fantastic luxury, 269 00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:17,959 as it will stir up so much jealousy all around. 270 00:13:18,043 --> 00:13:19,293 -[glasses clink] -Oh. 271 00:13:19,376 --> 00:13:22,168 [in French] This sounds like something for us, honey. 272 00:13:22,251 --> 00:13:25,168 -What is it? -We are invited to a free cruise. 273 00:13:25,251 --> 00:13:26,501 Albinos only. 274 00:13:26,584 --> 00:13:29,293 Free cruise? Isn't that like a classic scam? 275 00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:32,084 No, no, no, no, no. That Captain Fall seems so sincere. 276 00:13:32,168 --> 00:13:35,084 And they have booked and paid for plane tickets and everything. 277 00:13:35,168 --> 00:13:36,709 But it's not possible anyway. 278 00:13:36,793 --> 00:13:39,293 How are we supposed to enjoy ourselves in the horrible scorching sun? 279 00:13:39,376 --> 00:13:43,168 He says the main deck is covered in shade nets. 280 00:13:43,251 --> 00:13:45,834 There's complimentary sunblock and hats. 281 00:13:45,918 --> 00:13:49,459 They even have trained personnel with extra expertise in sunburn wounds. 282 00:13:49,543 --> 00:13:51,793 He's thought of everything, that Captain Fall. 283 00:13:51,876 --> 00:13:53,876 That's it. We're fucking going. 284 00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:57,293 It's about time we move up in the disabled ranks. 285 00:13:57,376 --> 00:14:04,168 Yes, I agree, but let's just enjoy this and not make it a big political issue. 286 00:14:04,251 --> 00:14:08,918 Why not? We've been overlooked and marginalized for centuries. 287 00:14:09,001 --> 00:14:12,626 If you're blind or deaf or something, 288 00:14:12,709 --> 00:14:16,043 society carries you around on a goddamn pedestal. 289 00:14:16,126 --> 00:14:17,918 But if you don't have any pigment, 290 00:14:18,001 --> 00:14:22,584 you are left to live your life in the shadows like a fucking vampire. 291 00:14:22,668 --> 00:14:28,543 Honey, babe, we are going to see Africa. Let's just enjoy that, okay? 292 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:36,043 Yes, of course. It's our turn to shine, so to hell with all of them. 293 00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:38,584 This cruise is going to be great! 294 00:14:39,084 --> 00:14:40,543 A real victory march. 295 00:14:50,918 --> 00:14:51,959 [controls whirring] 296 00:14:52,043 --> 00:14:56,001 So, fellas, who wants to throw down a few shots and get crazy 297 00:14:56,084 --> 00:14:58,626 as soon as the passengers have left tonight, huh? 298 00:14:59,209 --> 00:15:00,751 I have the key to the spa area. 299 00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:04,876 Yes, sure. Yeah. [chuckles nervously] Sounds great. 300 00:15:04,959 --> 00:15:07,376 Cool. Yeah! You won't regret it. 301 00:15:07,459 --> 00:15:09,418 Ha! We're gonna have a blast. 302 00:15:09,501 --> 00:15:11,501 Oh, I'm sure we will. 303 00:15:11,584 --> 00:15:14,293 So we'll just see you in the spa area when the ship is ready then? 304 00:15:14,376 --> 00:15:18,001 Yeah, no, cool. Definitely. Yeah. Awesome, cool. See you there. For sure. 305 00:15:19,001 --> 00:15:21,001 Yes! Oh yeah! 306 00:15:22,376 --> 00:15:24,376 ['80s pop music playing] 307 00:15:30,793 --> 00:15:31,709 Uh… 308 00:15:31,793 --> 00:15:32,834 Huh. 309 00:15:33,418 --> 00:15:34,293 Mm. 310 00:15:34,793 --> 00:15:37,793 Yeah. Oh yeah. There we go. Huge bulge. 311 00:15:38,293 --> 00:15:40,751 Huge and impressive. Good to go. 312 00:15:41,293 --> 00:15:42,126 [music stops] 313 00:15:44,751 --> 00:15:46,459 Hello? Anyone here? 314 00:15:47,751 --> 00:15:49,293 Oh. [chuckles] 315 00:15:49,376 --> 00:15:54,084 Uh, what kinda sick prank is this? I command you all to get undressed ASAP. 316 00:15:54,168 --> 00:15:55,709 [Tanner laughs] 317 00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:59,334 -It stops now, Captain Fall. -What? 318 00:15:59,418 --> 00:16:00,959 It stops now. 319 00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,334 What the hell is this? 320 00:16:02,418 --> 00:16:04,751 -This is an intervention. -For what? 321 00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:07,668 This is for your own good, sir. You have a serious problem. 322 00:16:07,751 --> 00:16:10,293 You're an addict, Captain. A sexual-harassment addict. 323 00:16:10,376 --> 00:16:12,418 -Or something horrible like that. -What? 324 00:16:12,501 --> 00:16:17,084 We are gathered here today, all of us, to help you become a better man. 325 00:16:17,168 --> 00:16:18,293 I am a great man. 326 00:16:18,376 --> 00:16:21,084 No, you're a man of a different time. 327 00:16:21,168 --> 00:16:23,709 Your behavior is something that belongs to the past. 328 00:16:23,793 --> 00:16:26,834 Like, before late 2017. Who wants to start? 329 00:16:28,126 --> 00:16:30,293 -Amanda? -Thank you. 330 00:16:30,376 --> 00:16:33,876 Well, first of all, you have hurt me with words, Captain. 331 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:35,668 How, if I may ask? 332 00:16:35,751 --> 00:16:38,584 Well, I think you have talked about how much you would like 333 00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:42,918 to penetrate, lick, and rim me on a daily basis 334 00:16:43,001 --> 00:16:44,459 for over two years now-- 335 00:16:44,543 --> 00:16:45,751 Oh, that stuff? 336 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:49,876 Well then, I am guilty as charged, but you are a fuckable fox. 337 00:16:49,959 --> 00:16:51,876 There's no denying that. 338 00:16:51,959 --> 00:16:53,043 In my defense. 339 00:16:53,126 --> 00:16:57,126 And I don't like it when you sprinkle your pubes in my hair, Captain. 340 00:16:57,209 --> 00:17:00,959 [chuckles] Are you serious? That pube-wig shit is hilarious, right? 341 00:17:01,043 --> 00:17:02,793 Back me up here, guys! We were all laughing. 342 00:17:02,876 --> 00:17:05,043 And the boob grabbing is totally out of line. 343 00:17:05,126 --> 00:17:07,376 Wha… The old honk-honk? 344 00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:09,084 Yes, unacceptable. 345 00:17:09,168 --> 00:17:12,959 Well, there's no evidence. It's just everyone's word against mine. 346 00:17:13,043 --> 00:17:17,626 So you all are on thin ice here because I am too big to fail. 347 00:17:18,334 --> 00:17:19,376 Tanner. Uh… 348 00:17:19,876 --> 00:17:21,293 Please listen to us. 349 00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:25,001 I've convinced people there's good in you, that you deserve a second chance. 350 00:17:25,084 --> 00:17:26,459 Please prove me right. 351 00:17:26,543 --> 00:17:30,626 Prove that you're the good, decent person that I know is in there somewhere. 352 00:17:31,501 --> 00:17:34,543 Wow. Wow. Okay, I, um… 353 00:17:34,626 --> 00:17:38,168 I guess if that's how you feel, then… then I failed you. 354 00:17:39,168 --> 00:17:42,543 I thought that I was bringing everyone in on the fun. 355 00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:46,209 I… I didn't mean to hurt anyone, and I didn't mean to offend anyone. 356 00:17:46,293 --> 00:17:48,626 -I was just trying to be a fun boss. -[tender music builds] 357 00:17:48,709 --> 00:17:51,501 That was why I would do fun honk-honks 358 00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:53,709 and, uh… and the nut taps. 359 00:17:53,793 --> 00:17:55,418 Greg, that's why I sprinkled the pubes. 360 00:17:56,334 --> 00:17:59,501 And I'm sorry if I've hurt anyone, so… 361 00:17:59,584 --> 00:18:02,959 Please, I just… I need some time to reflect upon all this. 362 00:18:03,043 --> 00:18:04,168 Of course, Captain. 363 00:18:04,668 --> 00:18:06,876 And as a token of my appreciation, 364 00:18:06,959 --> 00:18:09,709 you guys can all use the spa for as long as you'd like. 365 00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:12,168 Guys, one more thing. 366 00:18:12,251 --> 00:18:15,168 I hope this moment can mark the start of my redemption. 367 00:18:15,251 --> 00:18:16,959 [inspirational music playing] 368 00:18:19,793 --> 00:18:21,584 [laughs] I, uh… 369 00:18:21,668 --> 00:18:24,626 I feared the worst, but that went beyond all expectations. 370 00:18:24,709 --> 00:18:28,751 Yeah, I… I think we did it. We fixed the captain! 371 00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:30,751 It's a miracle. 372 00:18:30,834 --> 00:18:33,834 Hallelujah! Praise the Lord. 373 00:18:40,459 --> 00:18:42,043 [light tapping, whirring] 374 00:18:43,584 --> 00:18:44,918 What the hell is that? 375 00:18:45,668 --> 00:18:47,418 -[all gasp] -Goddamn it. 376 00:18:47,501 --> 00:18:50,668 Peekaboo, ladies! Anyone wanna give it a tug? 377 00:18:50,751 --> 00:18:51,918 -Oh! -[Tanner laughs] 378 00:18:52,001 --> 00:18:53,668 -Oh, got you, motherfucker. -[camera clicks] 379 00:18:53,751 --> 00:18:57,709 Wait. Did you just take a photo? All right. Okay. 380 00:18:57,793 --> 00:19:01,626 In what world is it okay to take a photo of your boss's penis? 381 00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:03,584 Grow up! 382 00:19:04,209 --> 00:19:07,959 [phone ringing] 383 00:19:10,959 --> 00:19:13,126 [sighs] Uh, Captain Fall speaking. 384 00:19:13,209 --> 00:19:14,918 [Tanner] Brother! 385 00:19:15,001 --> 00:19:15,834 Tanner? 386 00:19:15,918 --> 00:19:20,584 Yeah. Yeah. It's me, your dear big bro. Is it good to hear from me? 387 00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:22,751 Why are you calling in the middle of the night? Did… 388 00:19:22,834 --> 00:19:23,793 Did Mom die? 389 00:19:23,876 --> 00:19:26,501 No. No. Actually, it's way worse than that. 390 00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:27,959 It's much worse than that! 391 00:19:28,043 --> 00:19:29,168 What? Both of them? 392 00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,168 Has there been a horrible accident with both Mom and Dad involved? 393 00:19:32,251 --> 00:19:35,543 -No. No. It's me. -What? 394 00:19:35,626 --> 00:19:39,626 That fucking Me Too movement really fucked me over, man. 395 00:19:39,709 --> 00:19:40,543 Oh. 396 00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:42,876 Oh. Okay, so they finally got to you? 397 00:19:42,959 --> 00:19:45,793 Their movement lurks with their crosses and nails 398 00:19:45,876 --> 00:19:47,959 just waiting for you to make some innocent move, 399 00:19:48,043 --> 00:19:49,834 and… and I guess it was my turn. 400 00:19:49,918 --> 00:19:53,668 I guess it was my turn. They have to take down all the big shots. 401 00:19:53,751 --> 00:19:55,876 So you are, uh… you're innocent? 402 00:19:55,959 --> 00:20:00,418 Yeah! Of course, Jonathan. Of course! It all stems from envy. 403 00:20:00,501 --> 00:20:03,334 The Me Too movement envies you? Is that what you're-- 404 00:20:03,418 --> 00:20:05,459 -Everyone does. -Okay. 405 00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:08,084 You don't know what it's like to look like I do, 406 00:20:08,168 --> 00:20:10,043 to be so rich and successful 407 00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:13,709 and have a medium-sized but extremely beautiful and suckable cock. 408 00:20:13,793 --> 00:20:17,793 Oh God, Jonathan, my cock is just too suckable! 409 00:20:17,876 --> 00:20:20,334 Wh… Okay, why are you calling me exactly? 410 00:20:20,418 --> 00:20:21,834 They fired me, Jonathan. 411 00:20:22,334 --> 00:20:23,876 I need a job, brother. 412 00:20:23,959 --> 00:20:25,251 [sighs] Uh, okay. 413 00:20:25,334 --> 00:20:28,668 Uh, can't you just apply for one? I'm sure you're in high demand. 414 00:20:28,751 --> 00:20:31,543 No. I'm like a leper in the business now. 415 00:20:31,626 --> 00:20:32,709 [sighs] Okay. Okay. 416 00:20:32,793 --> 00:20:35,001 Since you're the captain, it should be real easy 417 00:20:35,084 --> 00:20:38,001 for you to hook me up at the Caribbean Queen. Hmm? Mm? 418 00:20:38,084 --> 00:20:41,334 Come on. Can you do that for me, brother? Pull some strings. 419 00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:43,543 Uh… I don't know, Tanner. 420 00:20:43,626 --> 00:20:48,334 Hey, hey. Imagine the two of us roaming the seas together. 421 00:20:48,418 --> 00:20:49,959 That would be great, right? 422 00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:52,043 You can still be the captain for a little while, 423 00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:54,459 and then we make the switch when the timing's right. 424 00:20:54,543 --> 00:20:55,959 -Sounds like a plan? -Um, well… 425 00:20:56,043 --> 00:20:56,959 -Right? -Look. 426 00:20:57,043 --> 00:21:00,834 I… I hate to say this, but I really don't know if this is the right fit. 427 00:21:00,918 --> 00:21:03,501 It's… It's not really a… a Tanner vibe. 428 00:21:04,209 --> 00:21:05,043 Okay? 429 00:21:05,584 --> 00:21:08,001 -Tanner? Are you there? -[Tanner shrieking] 430 00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:09,834 Hook me up, you weak fucker! 431 00:21:09,918 --> 00:21:13,251 Or you will regret it. I swear to God, I will crush you. 432 00:21:13,334 --> 00:21:17,418 I will smash your stupid child face with a sculpting hammer! 433 00:21:17,501 --> 00:21:18,918 I didn't mean that. 434 00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:21,793 I didn't mean that, Jonathan! 435 00:21:21,876 --> 00:21:23,876 [panting] 436 00:21:27,209 --> 00:21:29,918 He's not gonna do that. He's not gonna do that. 437 00:21:31,001 --> 00:21:31,834 Mm. 438 00:21:33,543 --> 00:21:34,501 That would kill me. 439 00:21:37,043 --> 00:21:38,959 Oh! Ah! Oh! 440 00:21:39,043 --> 00:21:41,793 Oh, it burns. Ooh, that's such a pungent taste. 441 00:21:41,876 --> 00:21:44,543 Hah, it's almost like gasoline. Oof! 442 00:22:07,584 --> 00:22:09,501 [in French] This is so exciting. 443 00:22:10,251 --> 00:22:12,584 I really like that it's so secretive. 444 00:22:15,001 --> 00:22:19,334 Traveling incognito just makes it feel more exclusive, you know? 445 00:22:21,001 --> 00:22:22,751 Yes, my dear, I know. 446 00:22:22,834 --> 00:22:27,126 So good to finally be here. I can practically hear the sea breeze. 447 00:22:30,751 --> 00:22:32,793 There. Pigmentia Cruise Line. 448 00:22:33,293 --> 00:22:34,543 Hey. That's us. 449 00:22:34,626 --> 00:22:37,543 [in English] Great. You are the last passengers we are waiting for. 450 00:22:37,626 --> 00:22:38,584 Come with me. 451 00:22:49,334 --> 00:22:52,959 [in French] Will you look at this. The windows on the bus are tinted. 452 00:22:53,043 --> 00:22:54,709 And have bars to protect us. 453 00:22:54,793 --> 00:22:56,584 They have really thought of everything here. 454 00:22:59,126 --> 00:23:01,126 -[lock clicks] -[engine starts] 455 00:23:05,543 --> 00:23:07,501 This is so great. 456 00:23:07,584 --> 00:23:10,084 I only wish the blind could see us now. 457 00:23:10,168 --> 00:23:11,001 Sh! 458 00:23:11,084 --> 00:23:12,751 Who's laughing now? You know. 459 00:23:12,834 --> 00:23:16,168 Let's put that aside this week, honey. Let's just have a good time. 460 00:23:16,251 --> 00:23:19,501 Save your hatred for other groups for when we get home. 461 00:23:35,751 --> 00:23:39,251 [in English] This feels like one of my birthday parties when I was a kid. 462 00:23:39,334 --> 00:23:43,501 They have got some nerve not showing up, those albinos. 463 00:23:43,584 --> 00:23:46,876 Well, maybe they decided that our cruise wasn't for them after all. 464 00:23:46,959 --> 00:23:49,418 Scared of the scorching sun, perhaps. 465 00:23:49,501 --> 00:23:52,043 After they were all so thankful of my invitation? 466 00:23:52,126 --> 00:23:53,543 That doesn't sound very plausible. 467 00:23:53,626 --> 00:23:56,043 People change their minds, you know, Captain. 468 00:23:56,126 --> 00:23:58,543 -It's totally normal. -All 50 of them? 469 00:23:58,626 --> 00:24:00,876 -Looks like it, eh? -[tuts] Unbelievable. 470 00:24:01,376 --> 00:24:03,668 I… I do not like to pigeonhole people, 471 00:24:03,751 --> 00:24:07,584 uh, but in this case, I think it is only fair to say 472 00:24:07,668 --> 00:24:11,209 that albinos can't be trusted when it comes to cruise appointments. 473 00:24:11,293 --> 00:24:13,918 And I'd say it is a big enough representative sample 474 00:24:14,001 --> 00:24:17,376 that I am able to say that without being called insensitive 475 00:24:17,459 --> 00:24:19,751 or something like that. It's just a… It's a fact. 476 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:22,251 Well, I'm sorry you feel that way, Captain. 477 00:24:22,334 --> 00:24:24,334 [sighs] Okay, pack it up, people. 478 00:24:24,418 --> 00:24:27,626 Guess we're not spreading joy to albinos, after all. 479 00:24:27,709 --> 00:24:29,626 Darn it! Sorry. 480 00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:30,793 Sorry to swear. 481 00:24:35,168 --> 00:24:37,168 [foreboding music playing] 482 00:24:47,668 --> 00:24:48,584 Thank you. 483 00:24:48,668 --> 00:24:50,876 [chuckles] No. Thank you. 484 00:24:50,959 --> 00:24:54,668 Those fingers will spread luck and wealth throughout the region. 485 00:24:59,709 --> 00:25:00,793 [Liza scoffs] 486 00:25:00,876 --> 00:25:02,001 [in Afrikaans] Christ. 487 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:04,959 -[in English] For the greater good, right? -Huh? 488 00:25:05,043 --> 00:25:07,959 I'm just saying, a few sacrifices for the greater good. 489 00:25:08,043 --> 00:25:09,584 That's a pretty good win, isn't it? 490 00:25:09,668 --> 00:25:11,418 I mean, I guess you can look at it like that. 491 00:25:11,501 --> 00:25:15,834 Absolutely. It's like going back in time and shanking baby Hitler 80 times 492 00:25:15,918 --> 00:25:17,293 to save millions of lives. 493 00:25:17,376 --> 00:25:20,334 -Mm. I don't know. -It's just like that. 494 00:25:20,418 --> 00:25:21,501 Oh man. 495 00:25:21,584 --> 00:25:23,584 [dramatic music builds] 496 00:25:24,543 --> 00:25:25,626 Exactly like that. 497 00:25:28,459 --> 00:25:29,834 [music fades] 498 00:25:29,918 --> 00:25:31,834 [soft jazz playing]