1
00:00:08,251 --> 00:00:09,959
[gulls squawk]

2
00:00:10,043 --> 00:00:12,793
[Jonathan chuckles] No, no!
This is all true. It's a true story.

3
00:00:12,876 --> 00:00:17,918
Uh, so, uh… I thought the cashier said,
"Three dollars, nighty-night."

4
00:00:18,001 --> 00:00:21,168
So, uh, I said, "Excuse me?"
And she repeated it.

5
00:00:21,251 --> 00:00:25,251
And what she actually said
was, "Three dollars ninety-nine."

6
00:00:25,334 --> 00:00:27,584
-Oh, 99! Yeah.
-Ha-ha, good one!

7
00:00:27,668 --> 00:00:28,834
Oh!

8
00:00:29,459 --> 00:00:31,626
[Jonathan] "Nighty-night?"
It doesn't even make sense!

9
00:00:31,709 --> 00:00:34,126
It was the middle of the day,
for crying out loud!

10
00:00:34,209 --> 00:00:37,376
Please, please, stop it, Captain.
Por favor. You're killing us here!

11
00:00:37,459 --> 00:00:40,459
It happened maybe… oh, 15 years ago,

12
00:00:40,543 --> 00:00:44,168
but I still think back on it every day,
and I just laugh so hard.

13
00:00:44,251 --> 00:00:47,876
Wow. Yeah, that's a…
Yeah, that's a great one.

14
00:00:47,959 --> 00:00:52,584
Oh, I know. It's my go-to story
when I want a real laugh fiesta.

15
00:00:52,668 --> 00:00:54,501
[chuckles, sighs]

16
00:00:54,584 --> 00:00:57,584
Okay. Well, on another note, uh…

17
00:00:57,668 --> 00:01:00,626
I would like to make an announcement.

18
00:01:00,709 --> 00:01:05,751
I think it's time for me to, um… tinkle.

19
00:01:05,834 --> 00:01:08,043
[enthusiastic laughter]

20
00:01:08,126 --> 00:01:11,459
Please excuse me.
I'll be back in ten… ten, 15 minutes.

21
00:01:11,543 --> 00:01:13,334
Ah-ha-ha-ha!

22
00:01:13,418 --> 00:01:14,376
-Ugh.
-Mm-mm.

23
00:01:14,459 --> 00:01:17,209
No. No, we're done.
I can't take another second of this.

24
00:01:17,293 --> 00:01:18,834
What are you… No!

25
00:01:18,918 --> 00:01:19,918
Ugh.

26
00:01:20,626 --> 00:01:21,584
[sighs]

27
00:01:21,668 --> 00:01:25,834
You've made it, Jonathan.
You have finally made it.

28
00:01:26,584 --> 00:01:29,293
They love you out there. They love you.

29
00:01:29,376 --> 00:01:30,834
-[toilet flushes]
-Oh, uh!

30
00:01:33,876 --> 00:01:35,251
And he's back.

31
00:01:35,334 --> 00:01:37,084
There's the man! [laughs]

32
00:01:37,168 --> 00:01:38,209
Hey! Capitán!

33
00:01:38,293 --> 00:01:40,543
Oh-ho! Yes, it's me. I'm back.

34
00:01:40,626 --> 00:01:41,626
Whoo!

35
00:01:41,709 --> 00:01:45,043
You know, I was thinking, do you mind
if I tell that 99-cent story again?

36
00:01:45,126 --> 00:01:47,876
I just can't get over it. It's so fun!

37
00:01:51,584 --> 00:01:52,418
Yeah.

38
00:01:53,626 --> 00:01:55,834
[frantic string music playing]

39
00:02:02,918 --> 00:02:04,543
[gulls squawking]

40
00:02:04,626 --> 00:02:06,418
[Jonathan] Okay. Listen up, people.

41
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:10,376
I just wanted to say
that I am so proud to work with a crew

42
00:02:10,459 --> 00:02:14,251
so dedicated
to making the world a better place.

43
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:18,418
So I want everyone
to put your hand on your shoulder

44
00:02:18,918 --> 00:02:19,834
like this.

45
00:02:20,751 --> 00:02:22,084
And then go like this.

46
00:02:23,876 --> 00:02:27,293
Good work. Yeah, so ev… everyone…
everyone say that with me now.

47
00:02:27,376 --> 00:02:29,334
-Good work. Yeah, good work.
-[all] Good work.

48
00:02:29,418 --> 00:02:30,543
-Good work.
-Good work.

49
00:02:30,626 --> 00:02:32,084
-Good work.
-Good work.

50
00:02:32,584 --> 00:02:34,043
Ah, okay, that's nice.

51
00:02:34,126 --> 00:02:37,751
Okay, so next up is a chartered cruise
for just a few select passengers.

52
00:02:37,834 --> 00:02:41,626
We have a group from China
and a group from Congo coming here.

53
00:02:41,709 --> 00:02:45,543
They have rented the whole ship
for the sole purpose of cultural exchange,

54
00:02:45,626 --> 00:02:48,001
so that will be a lot of fun.

55
00:02:48,584 --> 00:02:50,584
[eerie music playing]

56
00:02:52,168 --> 00:02:53,084
[bird calls]

57
00:02:54,668 --> 00:02:56,209
-[dogs bark]
-[people shout]

58
00:02:59,251 --> 00:03:00,751
-[blows land]
-[dog barks]

59
00:03:04,918 --> 00:03:06,209
[guns clicking]

60
00:03:06,293 --> 00:03:08,209
[automatic gunfire]

61
00:03:12,918 --> 00:03:18,626
[man] And therefore, I believe
this will be a great business opportunity

62
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:24,626
that will bring you much profit
and, uh… prosperity in the coming years.

63
00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:26,793
That was it.

64
00:03:27,543 --> 00:03:28,626
End of presentation.

65
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:29,668
Oh!

66
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,334
Wh… Wh… Wh… What do you think, eh?

67
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:34,501
Did I sound convincing?
Yeah? I nailed that, didn't I?

68
00:03:34,584 --> 00:03:36,418
Yes, that was… very good.

69
00:03:36,501 --> 00:03:39,459
Very thorough, with great use
of both graphics and diagrams

70
00:03:39,543 --> 00:03:40,834
to emphasize your points.

71
00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:42,418
[man chuckles proudly]

72
00:03:42,501 --> 00:03:46,626
Good to hear. I can't understand
why someone would say no to this deal.

73
00:03:46,709 --> 00:03:47,834
[tuts] No.

74
00:03:48,334 --> 00:03:51,543
Listen to me, are there going to be
many people at this presentation?

75
00:03:51,626 --> 00:03:55,668
Ah, yes, I think maybe 15?
More than ten at least.

76
00:03:55,751 --> 00:03:57,668
-Oh, baby Jesus. Not good.
-Mm?

77
00:03:57,751 --> 00:04:01,293
You sounded nervous just rehearsing
in front of me, your wife of 25 years.

78
00:04:01,376 --> 00:04:03,751
How are you going to handle
a bigger audience?

79
00:04:03,834 --> 00:04:07,376
Uh… Uh… But it is quite normal now. Ah-ah.

80
00:04:07,459 --> 00:04:08,959
You know what Mark Twain said?

81
00:04:09,043 --> 00:04:13,334
"There are two types of speakers, those
that get nervous and those who are liars."

82
00:04:13,418 --> 00:04:16,084
But no one gets
as nervous as you, Goodluck.

83
00:04:16,168 --> 00:04:18,376
-Oh.
-You can't say grace at the dinner table

84
00:04:18,459 --> 00:04:21,626
with just me and the kids
without stuttering and blushing.

85
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:22,918
[tuts] Oh.

86
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,709
I know. I'm my own worst enemy.

87
00:04:27,251 --> 00:04:29,751
-[yells]
-[automatic gunfire]

88
00:04:32,918 --> 00:04:35,418
You are even bringing RCA to SCART?

89
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:39,418
Ah. You should really ask them
what kind of setup they have on board.

90
00:04:39,501 --> 00:04:42,459
Mm-mm. I'm not going to ask them.
It's not professional.

91
00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:45,001
You are nothing without your PowerPoint.

92
00:04:45,084 --> 00:04:47,751
If it does not work,
you are doomed to fail.

93
00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:50,793
Just call them up.
It takes you 20 seconds.

94
00:04:50,876 --> 00:04:51,793
If I call them,

95
00:04:51,876 --> 00:04:55,459
it plays straight into the stereotypes
they have about warlords. Mm!

96
00:04:55,543 --> 00:04:58,751
-I don't want to give them that.
-Ah! What stereotypes?

97
00:04:59,459 --> 00:05:01,251
You know, eh?

98
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:04,543
That we don't know how to set up
PowerPoint presentations and all that.

99
00:05:04,626 --> 00:05:06,084
I don't want to be pigeonholed.

100
00:05:06,168 --> 00:05:07,709
[woman] Oh, sometimes I wish

101
00:05:07,793 --> 00:05:11,459
that some of your child soldiers
were snatched a few years later

102
00:05:11,543 --> 00:05:16,001
so they came with some computer knowledge
or something like normal teenagers.

103
00:05:16,584 --> 00:05:19,001
Then I would not have to worry so much.

104
00:05:19,084 --> 00:05:20,876
Yes, it would have been fortunate.

105
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:24,501
Yes, it would have,
but now you are on your own,

106
00:05:24,584 --> 00:05:27,459
and don't you dare
come back without a signed deal.

107
00:05:27,543 --> 00:05:29,626
Colonel Obote is ready to take your place

108
00:05:29,709 --> 00:05:32,793
the second you show yourself
as a weak warlord.

109
00:05:34,043 --> 00:05:34,876
[grunts]

110
00:05:35,876 --> 00:05:36,793
[sighs]

111
00:05:41,168 --> 00:05:44,626
Uh, what are you doing, Jonathan?

112
00:05:44,709 --> 00:05:47,793
The, uh, Congolese party
are bringing their kids,

113
00:05:47,876 --> 00:05:51,709
so I just… I wanna make sure the grown-ups
can have their meeting uninterrupted.

114
00:05:51,793 --> 00:05:53,209
This looks great, right?

115
00:05:53,293 --> 00:05:54,959
[Pedro] Yeah. Real nice.

116
00:05:55,834 --> 00:05:58,668
But these youngsters
might not be fans of magic

117
00:05:59,251 --> 00:06:00,376
and face paint.

118
00:06:00,459 --> 00:06:03,709
Oh, yes, of course.
Yeah, you're probably right, Pedro,

119
00:06:03,793 --> 00:06:07,584
'cause children
tend not to like this, huh?

120
00:06:07,668 --> 00:06:09,376
Or this.

121
00:06:09,459 --> 00:06:11,543
Hmm? Mm? Mm?

122
00:06:11,626 --> 00:06:13,334
What? Where did that come from?

123
00:06:13,418 --> 00:06:16,376
My mouth? How is this even possible?
Those are handkerchiefs.

124
00:06:16,959 --> 00:06:19,376
And that is just part
of what I have in store

125
00:06:19,459 --> 00:06:21,501
for these little rugrats. [chuckles]

126
00:06:42,418 --> 00:06:45,209
Welcome to the Caribbean Queen, Mr. Hong.

127
00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:46,876
I am your captain,

128
00:06:46,959 --> 00:06:49,584
and I am so looking forward
to having you on board.

129
00:06:51,709 --> 00:06:52,959
A pleasure.

130
00:06:53,043 --> 00:06:55,001
Oh, the… the pleasure is all mine.

131
00:06:55,793 --> 00:06:56,668
[man sighs]

132
00:06:56,751 --> 00:06:58,376
[in Mandarin] They all look alike.

133
00:06:58,459 --> 00:07:02,418
Impossible to tell them apart.
Very ugly faces. It is very consistent.

134
00:07:02,501 --> 00:07:04,418
Almost like "ugly-face uniforms."

135
00:07:04,501 --> 00:07:06,418
The captain is a tiny "boy-man."

136
00:07:06,501 --> 00:07:08,876
Horrible face and smells like old milk.

137
00:07:08,959 --> 00:07:11,376
-A captain should be sturdier.
-Right.

138
00:07:11,459 --> 00:07:12,876
I cannot respect him.

139
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:16,334
[in English] I…
I speak Mandarin, you know?

140
00:07:18,209 --> 00:07:19,209
I'm just kidding.

141
00:07:19,293 --> 00:07:22,251
I'm as monolingual
as they come. [chuckles]

142
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:24,293
Wh… What were you…
What are you guys talking about?

143
00:07:24,376 --> 00:07:28,209
Oh, just that we are
very happy to be here,

144
00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:31,834
and we want to bring thanks
for arranging this meeting.

145
00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:33,543
Oh, our pleasure.

146
00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:38,418
I hope you like to eat with sticks
because we have sticks in the restaurant.

147
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,834
None of that knife-and-fork nonsense.

148
00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:41,834
Okay.

149
00:07:41,918 --> 00:07:43,709
You're gonna have so much fun.

150
00:07:44,459 --> 00:07:46,251
[chuckles]

151
00:07:46,334 --> 00:07:47,626
Yes. Um…

152
00:07:47,709 --> 00:07:52,626
Uh, Liza, would you please show
Mr. Hong and his friends to their cabins?

153
00:07:52,709 --> 00:07:55,459
[in Mandarin]
Please come with me, my friends. This way.

154
00:07:55,543 --> 00:07:56,459
[in English] Bye.

155
00:07:59,793 --> 00:08:00,626
Hoof!

156
00:08:02,918 --> 00:08:06,334
Oh, Mr. Hong. What a character, huh?

157
00:08:06,418 --> 00:08:10,251
Hmm, yeah, pretty hostile.
You don't deserve that, my friend.

158
00:08:10,334 --> 00:08:15,001
Well, maybe friendliness is a sign
of weakness or something in… in China?

159
00:08:15,084 --> 00:08:16,793
But he… he'll come around.

160
00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:19,126
Kill them with kindness.
Isn't that what they say?

161
00:08:19,209 --> 00:08:21,334
[phone buzzes, beeps]

162
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:22,251
Yes?

163
00:08:23,084 --> 00:08:25,334
Yes. Okay. Roger that.

164
00:08:25,418 --> 00:08:26,251
[phone beeps]

165
00:08:26,334 --> 00:08:28,834
Mr. Goodluck and his crew are approaching.

166
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,918
Oh! There, on the horizon.

167
00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:43,668
Ah, they're so far away,
but I can hear them real well.

168
00:08:43,751 --> 00:08:47,959
What is happening to me? It's like I…
Oh, it's like have super hearing.

169
00:08:48,543 --> 00:08:54,293
Maybe I finally found my hidden talent,
hearing exceptionally well at sea. Huh.

170
00:08:57,001 --> 00:08:58,418
[eerie music playing]

171
00:09:00,001 --> 00:09:00,918
Oh.

172
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:10,834
Welcome, Mr. Goodluck,
to the Caribbean Queen.

173
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:13,918
Uh… I am your captain,
Johnathan Fall. Hah. Uh…

174
00:09:14,001 --> 00:09:14,876
Oh.

175
00:09:15,376 --> 00:09:18,959
[chuckles] I am so happy for Mr. Tyrant
setting up this meeting.

176
00:09:19,043 --> 00:09:22,043
Please, bring him
my many thanks along with this.

177
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:26,543
Huh. Wow, it looks completely real.
I am sure he will love it.

178
00:09:26,626 --> 00:09:28,584
[Goodluck chuckles] I sure hope so.

179
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:31,543
[chuckles] Well, please come aboard.
We are expecting you.

180
00:09:31,626 --> 00:09:32,751
Thank you, Captain.

181
00:09:33,543 --> 00:09:35,543
Oh! One for you.

182
00:09:37,543 --> 00:09:38,418
One for you.

183
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:41,209
Oh! Oh, excuse me.

184
00:09:41,709 --> 00:09:43,918
What's that
in your ear there, little fella? Ah!

185
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,334
Ah! [grunts]

186
00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:48,251
Arrête ça.

187
00:09:48,918 --> 00:09:50,876
-[gun clicks]
-[Jonathan chuckles]

188
00:09:50,959 --> 00:09:53,418
Oh wow, so strong.

189
00:09:53,501 --> 00:09:55,251
Huh! Well, that was fun.

190
00:09:55,334 --> 00:09:58,209
So we like to play cops and robbers
over there in Congo, do we?

191
00:09:58,293 --> 00:10:01,918
That is just… swell.
Fun and games is, uh… is good.

192
00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:05,043
Never lose your playfulness,
you little rascal. [chuckles]

193
00:10:05,543 --> 00:10:07,918
Ooh. That was so fast.

194
00:10:13,001 --> 00:10:16,959
[grunts] The battery,
this life-giving energy reservoir,

195
00:10:17,043 --> 00:10:20,001
fueling everything
from trucks to telephones.

196
00:10:20,084 --> 00:10:21,918
Where would we be without it?

197
00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:25,251
And what would a battery be
without cobalt?

198
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:29,376
Just an expensive piece
of useless material.

199
00:10:29,459 --> 00:10:30,543
Material? Hmm-hmm.

200
00:10:31,043 --> 00:10:32,501
[confidently] Material.

201
00:10:32,584 --> 00:10:34,584
["Determined Minds" by H Double L playing]

202
00:10:34,668 --> 00:10:36,251
[H Double L raps in French]

203
00:10:46,793 --> 00:10:48,918
[upbeat kids' music playing]

204
00:10:49,001 --> 00:10:50,584
Hey there, Capitán.

205
00:10:50,668 --> 00:10:53,668
Ah, nice rat costume.
What are you dressing up for?

206
00:10:53,751 --> 00:10:57,043
Just preparing for a show
that I am treating those kids to.

207
00:10:57,126 --> 00:10:59,043
Did you not notice how sullen they looked?

208
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,251
Uh… No, not really, no.

209
00:11:01,334 --> 00:11:04,584
Um… I'm not that good at reading emotions,
I guess. I don't know.

210
00:11:04,668 --> 00:11:08,751
Well, I am, and those kids
are in dire need of a good time.

211
00:11:08,834 --> 00:11:10,668
You know, maybe they just want to relax

212
00:11:10,751 --> 00:11:12,876
and enjoy some time off
from the daily routine.

213
00:11:12,959 --> 00:11:15,834
I mean, it's not often
they get to do relaxing stuff like this.

214
00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:18,043
I think they are kept pretty busy,
if you ask me.

215
00:11:18,126 --> 00:11:22,876
Kids are kids, and fun is universal.

216
00:11:22,959 --> 00:11:24,543
I have prepared jokes,

217
00:11:24,626 --> 00:11:28,876
and riddles, and rhymes,
and everything they could ever crave.

218
00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:30,876
Wow. Okay.

219
00:11:30,959 --> 00:11:33,334
Uh… Just lose the rat outfit.

220
00:11:33,834 --> 00:11:34,668
I think.

221
00:11:34,751 --> 00:11:36,834
Oh, f… Yeah, fine. It's a bunny,

222
00:11:36,918 --> 00:11:39,584
but I'm not compromising
on the rest of the show.

223
00:11:39,668 --> 00:11:42,793
Maybe I care too much,
but children are our future,

224
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:46,334
and I don't see anybody else
trying to lift their spirits around here.

225
00:11:50,668 --> 00:11:52,459
So this one…

226
00:11:52,543 --> 00:11:53,959
-[bleeps]
-Oh.

227
00:11:54,043 --> 00:11:56,251
Oh, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no.

228
00:11:56,334 --> 00:11:58,209
That is not… Ah, ah. Ah-ah.

229
00:11:58,293 --> 00:11:59,501
Ooh. Wh… I…

230
00:12:03,084 --> 00:12:06,876
M… May I help you, Mr. Goodluck?
It's a… a bit tricky.

231
00:12:06,959 --> 00:12:10,834
Uh, no. I can do this easily.
I'm very computer literate.

232
00:12:11,834 --> 00:12:13,834
-So…
-Mm. That one is for the lights.

233
00:12:13,918 --> 00:12:14,793
I know.

234
00:12:16,418 --> 00:12:18,793
Yeah. Just tell me
if there's anything I can do.

235
00:12:18,876 --> 00:12:20,168
There is nothing.

236
00:12:21,126 --> 00:12:24,543
I'm an expert in the different cables
and connections area,

237
00:12:24,626 --> 00:12:26,293
so that poses no problem for me.

238
00:12:26,376 --> 00:12:28,668
-Okay.
-Okay. Okay. Mm.

239
00:12:28,751 --> 00:12:30,709
Just connect to the HDMI 2 there.

240
00:12:32,126 --> 00:12:35,209
I knew that,
but that is not what I was trying to do.

241
00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:40,959
Hmm.

242
00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:55,001
Eh…

243
00:12:55,501 --> 00:12:56,668
Uh… [clears throat]

244
00:12:57,168 --> 00:13:03,084
Welcome to this presentation
of JSF, the Juvenile Security Force.

245
00:13:03,668 --> 00:13:04,834
Uh…

246
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:08,834
[louder] Uh, can everyone hear me fine
all the way there in the back?

247
00:13:09,334 --> 00:13:11,793
Of course. This is just a small room.

248
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:14,459
[still at louder volume]
Oh, okay, good. Uh… Uh-uh… G…

249
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:15,709
[normal volume] Um, good.

250
00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:18,751
Welcome to you, Mr. Hong,
and to your associates.

251
00:13:18,834 --> 00:13:24,793
It is an honor that you took the time
to meet us here in this fine… vessel.

252
00:13:26,251 --> 00:13:27,251
[clears throat]

253
00:13:27,751 --> 00:13:30,584
Okay, let us get straight to business.

254
00:13:31,084 --> 00:13:32,543
Oh. [chuckles nervously]

255
00:13:32,626 --> 00:13:35,251
It's a personal photo, so, uh…

256
00:13:35,834 --> 00:13:38,084
Eh… Now you know more about me.

257
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:41,459
That is always positive. Yeah? [chuckles]

258
00:13:42,168 --> 00:13:43,918
Anyway. Uh, where was I?

259
00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,376
Uh, yes. [clears throat]

260
00:13:46,168 --> 00:13:48,043
When you leave this room today,

261
00:13:48,126 --> 00:13:51,626
you will be convinced
that the Juvenile Security Force

262
00:13:51,709 --> 00:13:55,168
is the right choice
for guarding your cobalt mines.

263
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:57,834
Because like we used to say,
"It's not who you know,

264
00:13:57,918 --> 00:13:59,584
but who you blow… up."

265
00:14:00,168 --> 00:14:02,334
[chortles]

266
00:14:04,459 --> 00:14:05,293
Who…

267
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:08,584
Who you blow… up! [laughs]

268
00:14:08,668 --> 00:14:09,793
Because…

269
00:14:09,876 --> 00:14:14,876
Because he blew up that son of a bitch
Sergeant Mawemba in his hut. [chuckles]

270
00:14:14,959 --> 00:14:17,959
It is a… a very funny twist on the saying.

271
00:14:21,626 --> 00:14:25,626
Eh-heh. [clears throat]
I'll move along to myths or facts.

272
00:14:25,709 --> 00:14:28,209
Child soldiers need less food
than grown soldiers

273
00:14:28,293 --> 00:14:31,126
and are therefore
a more affordable choice.

274
00:14:31,209 --> 00:14:32,834
Myth or fact?

275
00:14:33,334 --> 00:14:35,334
[gulls cawing]

276
00:14:42,626 --> 00:14:44,293
[blows air attempting to whistle]

277
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:47,084
Capitán?

278
00:14:47,168 --> 00:14:50,751
Uh, how many of the children
have signed up for the magic show?

279
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:51,834
Mm… No one.

280
00:14:51,918 --> 00:14:54,543
D… What? What the freckles is wrong
with these children?

281
00:14:54,626 --> 00:14:57,793
-I have a heck of a show prepared.
-I am aware. Yes.

282
00:14:57,876 --> 00:15:00,001
Did you tell them
I have a heck of a show prepared?

283
00:15:00,084 --> 00:15:01,459
Ye… Yes, I told them.

284
00:15:02,168 --> 00:15:03,459
In those words?

285
00:15:03,543 --> 00:15:04,376
Yes.

286
00:15:04,459 --> 00:15:08,084
Oh, not good.
Then they heard the H word. Ugh.

287
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:09,251
I think they'll be fine.

288
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,126
Were they excited about the show?
What did they say?

289
00:15:12,209 --> 00:15:13,793
Nothing, uh…

290
00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:16,376
-But two of them asked for hookers.
-What?

291
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:19,418
Eh, you know, Captain,
it's just kids' humor.

292
00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,084
Okay,
call an emergency staff meeting, pronto.

293
00:15:22,168 --> 00:15:23,834
I have a plan to solve this mess.

294
00:15:23,918 --> 00:15:27,168
Everyone has to join,
and I… I won't take no for an answer.

295
00:15:28,418 --> 00:15:30,418
[celebratory Latin music playing]

296
00:15:42,751 --> 00:15:43,959
[Jonathan] Whoo!

297
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,376
Join in, friends! Come on! Come on!

298
00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:49,376
What are you scared of? This is so fun.

299
00:15:49,459 --> 00:15:51,043
♪ It's so much fu-un ♪

300
00:15:51,126 --> 00:15:53,001
♪ This is so much fu-un ♪

301
00:15:53,084 --> 00:15:56,376
All the cups, uh… pots, uh… the knives,

302
00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:59,793
uh, the forks, and the spoons
can all be scaled down,

303
00:15:59,876 --> 00:16:03,293
and in the long run
could save you a considerable amount.

304
00:16:05,043 --> 00:16:07,543
Do you want me to elaborate on the savings

305
00:16:07,626 --> 00:16:10,834
just because of the sheer lack of size
of the soldiers?

306
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:12,668
Eh?

307
00:16:13,918 --> 00:16:15,959
No? Or yes?

308
00:16:16,543 --> 00:16:17,834
O… Or no?

309
00:16:20,084 --> 00:16:21,043
[Latin music playing]

310
00:16:21,126 --> 00:16:22,793
♪ Anyone for conga? ♪

311
00:16:22,876 --> 00:16:24,626
♪ Want to join our conga? ♪

312
00:16:24,709 --> 00:16:27,918
♪ Anyone for conga? Anyone for… ♪

313
00:16:29,668 --> 00:16:31,459
And reverse!

314
00:16:31,543 --> 00:16:33,251
♪ No one here for conga ♪

315
00:16:33,334 --> 00:16:35,126
♪ No one here for conga ♪

316
00:16:35,209 --> 00:16:36,959
♪ They're declining conga ♪

317
00:16:37,043 --> 00:16:38,584
♪ We'll just leave you alone ♪

318
00:16:38,668 --> 00:16:40,959
-Keep backing up, everybody!
-[music stops]

319
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:44,126
Let's take a break. Huh?
Is that okay for you, Mr. Hong?

320
00:16:44,209 --> 00:16:46,209
Yeah? A… A short break, eh?

321
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:48,543
Eh… To… To… To clear our heads. [chuckles]

322
00:16:49,043 --> 00:16:50,084
Eh-hah.

323
00:16:51,001 --> 00:16:53,334
Yes? O… Or no?

324
00:16:57,626 --> 00:16:59,376
[all slurp]

325
00:16:59,459 --> 00:17:00,584
[sighs contentedly]

326
00:17:01,418 --> 00:17:04,709
Oh wow, thanks. I am so exhausted.

327
00:17:04,793 --> 00:17:08,959
-Conga line is the best form of exercise.
-Really?

328
00:17:09,043 --> 00:17:11,251
Yeah, I read that somewhere.

329
00:17:11,959 --> 00:17:14,793
Oh, I hope I didn't ruin
their meeting, but, uh…

330
00:17:14,876 --> 00:17:19,501
being able to put a smile on all those
children's faces made it all worthwhile.

331
00:17:20,084 --> 00:17:21,418
Yeah, no.

332
00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,501
[mellow music playing over PA]

333
00:17:25,459 --> 00:17:27,168
Sorry about the conga line.

334
00:17:27,251 --> 00:17:29,751
Uh, I hope
I didn't ruin your presentation.

335
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,876
Oh, that is okay. [sighs]

336
00:17:31,959 --> 00:17:34,001
It gave me an excuse to take a break.

337
00:17:34,084 --> 00:17:37,334
I was just too nervous
during the presentation.

338
00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:39,584
Look at my hands! They are still shaking.

339
00:17:39,668 --> 00:17:42,459
Oh. Well, tho…
those sweet kids have made punch.

340
00:17:42,543 --> 00:17:44,251
-Do you want some?
-Ah, sure.

341
00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:45,459
Punch for Goodluck!

342
00:17:45,543 --> 00:17:49,293
I mean, we have a great product
that is really a no-brainer,

343
00:17:49,376 --> 00:17:52,709
but I just don't think
I managed to get my point across.

344
00:17:53,251 --> 00:17:57,209
Heh? And I have to sign this deal, oh.
Or I fear it will be the end of me.

345
00:17:57,293 --> 00:18:00,543
Hey. Hey, don't let your job
take over your life.

346
00:18:00,626 --> 00:18:02,543
No job is that important.

347
00:18:02,626 --> 00:18:04,709
Hmm. I don't know about that.

348
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:08,709
Anyway, this cruise is about
cultural exchange, so let's get to it.

349
00:18:08,793 --> 00:18:10,543
[clears throat] Mr. Hong!

350
00:18:10,626 --> 00:18:12,501
Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong!

351
00:18:12,584 --> 00:18:17,043
Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong! Mr. Hong!

352
00:18:17,126 --> 00:18:19,084
Mr. Hong! Have a seat.

353
00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:22,209
The kids have whipped up the best punch.
Can I get you some?

354
00:18:22,293 --> 00:18:23,584
I do not drink.

355
00:18:23,668 --> 00:18:27,293
Oh, but this is a recipe for kids,
so it's obviously alcohol-free.

356
00:18:29,001 --> 00:18:29,876
Ah.

357
00:18:29,959 --> 00:18:34,501
Just extremely tasty,
and, uh, very thirst quenching.

358
00:18:34,584 --> 00:18:37,876
Okay. I am thirsty
and have a sour taste in my mouth

359
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:40,376
after that shaky presentation.

360
00:18:40,459 --> 00:18:41,334
[chuckles]

361
00:18:41,418 --> 00:18:46,543
Uh, could we get some of that tasty punch
for Mr. Hong and the mesmerizing Miss Gin?

362
00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:47,959
[sighs]

363
00:18:48,668 --> 00:18:52,543
So, uh, Mr. Hong from China, huh?

364
00:18:52,626 --> 00:18:53,584
Correct.

365
00:18:53,668 --> 00:18:56,376
-Yep. Businessman?
-Yes.

366
00:18:56,459 --> 00:19:00,168
Yeah, you see? I've done my due diligence.

367
00:19:00,251 --> 00:19:01,293
Oh, here we are.

368
00:19:01,793 --> 00:19:04,543
This punch makes you giddy
for some reason.

369
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:06,876
Oh, let's chug it down, just for fun.

370
00:19:06,959 --> 00:19:10,501
Okay. What's the harm
in pounding some alcohol-free punch?

371
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:11,834
-Cheers.
-Cheers.

372
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:12,918
Uh, yes.

373
00:19:15,168 --> 00:19:17,084
[mellow hip-hop music playing]

374
00:19:17,668 --> 00:19:22,584
It's just that, for the first time,
I feel that my parents might be,

375
00:19:22,668 --> 00:19:26,543
you know, kind of proud of me.
[chuckles] Sorry.

376
00:19:27,043 --> 00:19:29,168
And I don't really know
how to embrace that

377
00:19:29,251 --> 00:19:32,418
because the feelings
are kind of new, you know? Sorry.

378
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:34,543
So I just…
I don't know how to respond to that.

379
00:19:34,626 --> 00:19:36,293
Sorry. If that makes any sense.

380
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:39,459
It does. Totally.

381
00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:40,418
You know what?

382
00:19:40,501 --> 00:19:44,626
I wish you could see yourself
as I see you here.

383
00:19:44,709 --> 00:19:47,834
-I… I… I was thinking the same thing.
-Oh.

384
00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:48,876
Yes.

385
00:19:48,959 --> 00:19:52,918
When I look at you,
I see a confident young captain

386
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:57,209
who has the ability
to guide his ship through the storm.

387
00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:59,751
And that is the man
that you will show your parents.

388
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:00,668
Yes.

389
00:20:00,751 --> 00:20:05,251
And your brother
who, if I can speak freely,

390
00:20:05,751 --> 00:20:08,084
seems like a total asshole.

391
00:20:08,168 --> 00:20:12,709
A… A real gaping asshole, that Tanner.

392
00:20:14,209 --> 00:20:16,501
[laughs]

393
00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:18,668
To our new friendship.

394
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:22,793
And to the future partnership of you two?

395
00:20:22,876 --> 00:20:24,293
[chuckles]

396
00:20:24,376 --> 00:20:28,251
Why don't we get a few more of these
and go into the meeting room?

397
00:20:28,334 --> 00:20:29,168
Yeah?

398
00:20:29,251 --> 00:20:32,084
And take another look
at that presentation.

399
00:20:32,168 --> 00:20:33,376
[laughs]

400
00:20:33,459 --> 00:20:34,418
Great idea.

401
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:38,418
I'll come with you guys.
I don't even care if you don't want me to.

402
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:41,334
Would you look at that, Pedro?

403
00:20:41,418 --> 00:20:44,543
I never thought in a million years
that our good captain could be the glue

404
00:20:44,626 --> 00:20:47,668
that could seal the deal on this one. Wow.

405
00:20:47,751 --> 00:20:50,376
I know. They actually love him. Ah.

406
00:20:51,168 --> 00:20:54,501
-What a find. What a find, Liza.
-Yeah.

407
00:20:54,584 --> 00:20:56,043
-Ha.
-And that's on us, eh?

408
00:20:56,126 --> 00:20:59,668
I mean, we picked him.
He is actually a keeper. Hmm!

409
00:21:00,168 --> 00:21:02,334
[hip-hop music echoing in background]

410
00:21:05,334 --> 00:21:10,459
We did it! The cultural-exchange deal
is sealed! Whoo!

411
00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:15,084
Yes, and we've got to document
this historic event, my friends. Come on.

412
00:21:15,168 --> 00:21:16,001
-Sure!
-Oh yes.

413
00:21:16,084 --> 00:21:17,501
[Liza] Okay? Say cheese!

414
00:21:17,584 --> 00:21:19,334
[all] Cheese!

415
00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:22,709
And some children also, please.
Come on, kids. Go on.

416
00:21:22,793 --> 00:21:24,918
-Yup, okay, big smiles.
-Okay.

417
00:21:25,001 --> 00:21:26,793
[automatic gunfire]

418
00:21:26,876 --> 00:21:29,584
He… He's okay. Whoo!

419
00:21:37,126 --> 00:21:38,126
[bottle clatters]

420
00:21:40,668 --> 00:21:41,876
[doorbell rings]

421
00:21:41,959 --> 00:21:43,251
[groans]

422
00:21:43,334 --> 00:21:45,793
Knock, knock. I'm coming. I'm coming.

423
00:21:47,334 --> 00:21:50,043
The Steelmeister!

424
00:21:51,334 --> 00:21:52,168
Mike?

425
00:21:52,251 --> 00:21:55,501
Yep. Heard you got divorced,
and I need a wingman.

426
00:21:55,584 --> 00:21:59,126
You used to be the best.
I can thank you for so much punani.

427
00:21:59,209 --> 00:22:02,001
Yeah, well, I'm a different man now. Uh…

428
00:22:02,084 --> 00:22:04,626
I… T… I've been domesticated in a way.

429
00:22:04,709 --> 00:22:06,209
Okay, but I haven't.

430
00:22:06,293 --> 00:22:08,126
I'm still single
and chasing the fur burger

431
00:22:08,209 --> 00:22:09,626
with more eagerness than ever.

432
00:22:09,709 --> 00:22:12,543
[coughs] Good for you, but I don't know.

433
00:22:12,626 --> 00:22:14,043
Look at yourself.

434
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:16,626
All you guys are the same after a divorce.

435
00:22:16,709 --> 00:22:19,334
So miserable,
and with such a lack of confidence.

436
00:22:19,418 --> 00:22:22,126
You need to put yourself out there,
play the scene.

437
00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:25,084
[sniffs] But first
we need to clean you up.

438
00:22:32,001 --> 00:22:34,001
[inspirational music playing]

439
00:22:36,459 --> 00:22:39,084
Wow. Just wow.

440
00:22:39,584 --> 00:22:41,584
That made me… hard.

441
00:22:41,668 --> 00:22:45,126
I would tear the clothes off you
and have passionate sex with you right now

442
00:22:45,209 --> 00:22:47,209
if I weren't so extremely heterosexual.

443
00:22:47,293 --> 00:22:48,126
Okay.

444
00:22:48,209 --> 00:22:49,918
Let's go speed dating, bro.

445
00:22:51,918 --> 00:22:53,918
[mellow dance music playing over PA]

446
00:22:57,251 --> 00:22:59,126
Just lie. That is my best tip.

447
00:22:59,209 --> 00:23:02,834
Say that you're a pediatrician
and that you cry at work every day

448
00:23:02,918 --> 00:23:04,543
because you care too much.

449
00:23:04,626 --> 00:23:09,334
Okay. I mean, I'm not a great liar,
but I guess it's worth a try.

450
00:23:11,418 --> 00:23:14,876
Get in the groove, man. Act sexy. Come on.

451
00:23:14,959 --> 00:23:17,418
Advertise yourself
before the hunting starts, huh?

452
00:23:17,501 --> 00:23:18,959
Ha-ha-ha.

453
00:23:32,793 --> 00:23:34,418
Hmm. [chuckles]

454
00:23:34,501 --> 00:23:35,334
[inhales] Wow.

455
00:23:35,418 --> 00:23:38,334
So those are the "cliff notes"
on your divorce.

456
00:23:38,418 --> 00:23:41,209
And you are also the man
behind the animal rampage

457
00:23:41,293 --> 00:23:45,293
that eventually took 187 lives
and 79 faces plus-minus?

458
00:23:45,376 --> 00:23:47,793
Uh… Yeah, that'd be me.

459
00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:52,501
Well, your physical attractiveness
overshadows all that negative stuff.

460
00:23:52,584 --> 00:23:55,918
In fact, I'm glad to hear
you have so many lives on your "conscious"

461
00:23:56,001 --> 00:23:58,918
because we women like bad boys.

462
00:23:59,001 --> 00:24:00,709
-[chuckles]
-Uh…

463
00:24:00,793 --> 00:24:01,959
-Yeah.
-Uh-huh.

464
00:24:02,043 --> 00:24:03,043
-Wait--
-Excuse me.

465
00:24:03,126 --> 00:24:05,001
So do you want to get outta here?

466
00:24:05,084 --> 00:24:07,334
I could clean your house
and make you a nice dinner?

467
00:24:07,418 --> 00:24:09,251
-Dinner…
-We could have great sex to top it off.

468
00:24:09,334 --> 00:24:10,334
Oh, sex.

469
00:24:10,418 --> 00:24:12,668
Well, what do you say?
Should we get outta here?

470
00:24:12,751 --> 00:24:16,209
I could have my driver pick us up.
I have a driver because I'm so rich.

471
00:24:16,293 --> 00:24:19,084
Uh-huh. Where have I seen you before?

472
00:24:19,668 --> 00:24:21,334
[dramatic drumroll]

473
00:24:21,418 --> 00:24:22,251
Hello?

474
00:24:23,418 --> 00:24:24,251
Great.

475
00:24:24,334 --> 00:24:26,709
Steelmeister, where you going?

476
00:24:26,793 --> 00:24:29,918
Steelmeister! Don't leave me here
with all these washed-up skanks!

477
00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:32,001
[man] Whoa, not cool, bro!

478
00:24:32,084 --> 00:24:33,501
-Kidding.
-Asshole!

479
00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:36,126
-[dramatic drumroll]
-[bottles clatter]

480
00:24:36,209 --> 00:24:37,793
[suspenseful music playing]

481
00:24:54,834 --> 00:24:57,834
Well, jackhammer me senseless.

482
00:24:59,584 --> 00:25:02,501
It's the same ship.
They just renamed it and painted it.

483
00:25:04,459 --> 00:25:07,668
[chuckles] The head of the snake.

484
00:25:11,209 --> 00:25:14,918
Becker, old friend, it's time to get
the old team back together.

485
00:25:15,543 --> 00:25:16,834
It's showtime.

486
00:25:16,918 --> 00:25:18,918
[music crescendoes, fades]

487
00:25:20,334 --> 00:25:22,334
[smooth jazz music playing]