1 00:00:13,626 --> 00:00:16,459 ‎(歡迎來到塞浦路斯) 2 00:00:18,709 --> 00:00:22,418 ‎(入境大堂) 3 00:00:22,501 --> 00:00:24,251 ‎(匿名旅行先生) 4 00:00:53,793 --> 00:00:57,293 ‎斯蒂爾探員,很高興見到你! 5 00:00:57,376 --> 00:00:59,334 ‎貝克,你這個老混蛋 6 00:00:59,418 --> 00:01:01,126 ‎進來吧 7 00:01:06,334 --> 00:01:07,168 ‎喝威士忌嗎? 8 00:01:08,626 --> 00:01:12,709 ‎好,正合我意,威士忌,好極了 9 00:01:19,084 --> 00:01:20,709 ‎-乾杯! ‎-乾杯! 10 00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:25,543 ‎好酒,真解渴 11 00:01:25,626 --> 00:01:28,001 ‎很高興聽到你的消息 12 00:01:28,084 --> 00:01:31,168 ‎-上次見面以來,想必有15年了? ‎-20年 13 00:01:31,251 --> 00:01:34,876 ‎甚麼?時光飛逝,你今次有何貴幹? 14 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:38,293 ‎我在執行任務 ‎非官方的那種秘密任務 15 00:01:38,376 --> 00:01:40,876 ‎機密得只有我一個人知道 16 00:01:42,751 --> 00:01:45,834 ‎那確實是非常機密,跟我來 17 00:01:45,918 --> 00:01:49,209 ‎我有新玩具要給你玩 18 00:02:03,209 --> 00:02:08,168 ‎我拿到你的清單了,我想我有的東西 ‎足夠滿足你的要求有餘 19 00:02:08,251 --> 00:02:12,293 ‎很好,我沒能帶上任何裝備 ‎所以真的拜託你了,貝克 20 00:02:12,376 --> 00:02:14,209 ‎首先,我要給你這個 21 00:02:14,293 --> 00:02:15,959 ‎把舊式打字機拋諸腦後吧 22 00:02:16,043 --> 00:02:20,626 ‎現在有這好東西,它全靠電力推動 23 00:02:20,709 --> 00:02:25,376 ‎只重約7公斤 ‎設有內置喇叭,音量可調整 24 00:02:26,126 --> 00:02:26,959 ‎可調整? 25 00:02:27,043 --> 00:02:30,084 ‎那就不必忍受極大或極小的音量了? ‎太好了 26 00:02:30,168 --> 00:02:31,251 ‎當你想打電話時 27 00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:33,626 ‎想省卻到處找電話亭的麻煩嗎? 28 00:02:33,709 --> 00:02:36,251 ‎那麼,看好了 29 00:02:37,293 --> 00:02:40,168 ‎很實用,同時免卻帶零錢的需要 30 00:02:40,251 --> 00:02:42,543 ‎沒錯,挺妙的 31 00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:45,459 ‎現在請注意 32 00:02:46,126 --> 00:02:48,501 ‎想知道這個小寶貝有甚麼能耐嗎? 33 00:02:49,876 --> 00:02:51,251 ‎拍照,這是照相機 34 00:02:51,334 --> 00:02:55,751 ‎不錯嘛,斯蒂爾,那這枝筆呢? 35 00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,293 ‎-看起來很普通,對吧? ‎-沒錯 36 00:02:58,376 --> 00:03:01,084 ‎你覺得這看來是平平無奇的筆嗎? 37 00:03:01,168 --> 00:03:03,418 ‎-基本上是吧 ‎-是激光! 38 00:03:03,501 --> 00:03:06,751 ‎叫我指向某件東西 ‎甚麼也行,任君選擇 39 00:03:07,918 --> 00:03:10,793 ‎-地板 ‎-看吧!看它怎麼運作 40 00:03:10,876 --> 00:03:12,418 ‎很棒吧? 41 00:03:13,918 --> 00:03:15,834 ‎對,非常棒,真的非常棒 42 00:03:15,918 --> 00:03:19,001 ‎現在來點好玩的東西 43 00:03:25,751 --> 00:03:28,751 ‎這裏有你執行任務的一切所需 44 00:03:31,876 --> 00:03:33,126 ‎隨便挑 45 00:03:36,918 --> 00:03:40,501 ‎貝克,我全指望你了 ‎我這次任務沒有帶上任何東西 46 00:03:40,584 --> 00:03:44,459 ‎我連手機也沒有 ‎天啊,還有那套西裝 47 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:48,959 ‎我看起來會很像夏洛克福爾摩斯 ‎貝克,你今年貴庚了? 48 00:03:49,043 --> 00:03:53,168 ‎15歲,但我下個月就滿16歲 ‎在慶祝甜蜜16歲那天 49 00:03:53,251 --> 00:03:56,876 ‎我會試試偷親阿德萊德辛普森小姐 50 00:03:57,626 --> 00:03:59,709 ‎如果她媽媽不反對的話 51 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:07,334 ‎劇名:衰尾船長 52 00:04:09,793 --> 00:04:12,584 ‎(單身郵輪) 53 00:04:12,668 --> 00:04:14,751 ‎(歡迎單身人士) 54 00:04:14,834 --> 00:04:17,126 ‎終於有趟值得期待的航遊了 55 00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:19,543 ‎對,是時候宣洩精力了 56 00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:21,834 ‎我指的是精液 57 00:04:21,918 --> 00:04:22,751 ‎-是嗎? ‎-對 58 00:04:22,834 --> 00:04:25,293 ‎我要把精子噴灑進女乘客體內 59 00:04:25,834 --> 00:04:28,501 ‎或噴灑進女性體內的保險套內 60 00:04:29,126 --> 00:04:34,751 ‎還有摸胸部,來點指交 ‎也許還可以舔一下,對吧? 61 00:04:34,834 --> 00:04:37,959 ‎一定會很棒的,真正的姦淫慶典 62 00:04:38,043 --> 00:04:40,001 ‎-會是這樣的吧? ‎-對,一向如此 63 00:04:40,668 --> 00:04:42,084 ‎去年我在很短的時間裏 64 00:04:42,168 --> 00:04:45,293 ‎就品嚐到很多鮮肉 ‎以致我必須服用三倍的緊急避孕藥 65 00:04:45,376 --> 00:04:46,751 ‎真的搞砸了我的消化系統 66 00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:48,376 ‎去年最後那幾天 67 00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,751 ‎我的陰莖又麻又腫 68 00:04:50,834 --> 00:04:53,876 ‎但我還是持續做下去,永不言棄 69 00:04:53,959 --> 00:04:55,293 ‎衝擊極限 70 00:04:55,376 --> 00:04:58,084 ‎嘩,好酷 71 00:04:58,168 --> 00:04:59,876 ‎好,我們開始吧 72 00:05:02,626 --> 00:05:05,376 ‎等等,小姐,妳上對了郵輪嗎? 73 00:05:05,459 --> 00:05:06,918 ‎我很確定是的 74 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:09,709 ‎不,那不可能 75 00:05:09,793 --> 00:05:13,584 ‎像妳這麼美的女孩 ‎怎麼會是單身?來吧 76 00:05:14,084 --> 00:05:15,043 ‎等等,先生 77 00:05:15,126 --> 00:05:16,584 ‎你上對了郵輪嗎? 78 00:05:16,668 --> 00:05:17,876 ‎對,是的 79 00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:22,293 ‎不,那不可能 ‎像你這麼帥的男人,怎麼會是單身? 80 00:05:22,376 --> 00:05:24,584 ‎妳確定妳上對了郵輪嗎? 81 00:05:28,376 --> 00:05:30,084 ‎好好享用飲料吧,各位女士! 82 00:05:31,168 --> 00:05:33,043 ‎甘瑟!找到你了 83 00:05:33,126 --> 00:05:37,543 ‎你好,船長,你想要甚麼飲料? ‎我推薦地獄龍舌蘭雞尾酒 84 00:05:37,626 --> 00:05:40,668 ‎不了,謝謝,我想問你今晚 85 00:05:40,751 --> 00:05:43,209 ‎會否有空幫我布置一頓燭光晚餐? 86 00:05:43,293 --> 00:05:45,876 ‎喔,當然可以,船長先生 ‎我會搞定的,別擔心 87 00:05:45,959 --> 00:05:47,084 ‎好!太棒了 88 00:05:47,168 --> 00:05:51,084 ‎我希望有種《小姐與流氓》的氣氛 ‎你懂我的意思嗎? 89 00:05:51,168 --> 00:05:55,043 ‎當然,我很喜歡那部電影 ‎非常浪漫,很不錯的選擇 90 00:05:55,126 --> 00:05:56,876 ‎太好了 91 00:05:57,709 --> 00:06:01,126 ‎我迷戀了裏頭的那位小姐好幾年呢 92 00:06:01,209 --> 00:06:03,959 ‎真搞不懂她看中那流氓的哪一點 93 00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:07,043 ‎話說回來,先生 ‎我能問你一個私人問題嗎? 94 00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:08,209 ‎好,你說 95 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:11,584 ‎你喜歡幽默嗎?你喜歡開懷大笑嗎? 96 00:06:11,668 --> 00:06:13,918 ‎喔,當然了,我很喜歡大笑 97 00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:15,793 ‎誰不喜歡呢? 98 00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,543 ‎太好了,因為事實上 99 00:06:17,626 --> 00:06:20,918 ‎漢斯有個很棒的脫口秀故事 ‎我一直希望告訴你 100 00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,501 ‎他可以在你享用浪漫晚餐時表演 101 00:06:25,001 --> 00:06:26,418 ‎嗯,這個嘛 102 00:06:27,584 --> 00:06:31,084 ‎我猜我想讓這頓晚餐氣氛親密一點 103 00:06:31,168 --> 00:06:33,001 ‎完全理解,對,當然了 104 00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:35,834 ‎但你知道嗎,幽默這回事 105 00:06:35,918 --> 00:06:38,751 ‎其實能在浪漫層面上把人拉得更近 106 00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:41,668 ‎因為你會釋出安多酚,令你放鬆下來 107 00:06:41,751 --> 00:06:43,376 ‎是的,當然,我… 108 00:06:45,293 --> 00:06:48,959 ‎聽着,我們還是試試 ‎另找一晚做這件事吧? 109 00:06:49,668 --> 00:06:51,168 ‎當然了,你是船長 110 00:06:52,001 --> 00:06:52,834 ‎對 111 00:06:53,334 --> 00:06:54,668 ‎好,謝謝你,甘瑟 112 00:06:55,543 --> 00:06:59,001 ‎船長?你只是尚未聽過他的材料 113 00:06:59,084 --> 00:07:01,209 ‎所以你不情願也理所當然 114 00:07:01,293 --> 00:07:03,751 ‎我百分之百理解 115 00:07:03,834 --> 00:07:05,001 ‎很好! 116 00:07:05,084 --> 00:07:07,459 ‎但你知道,當你看到出色的電影 117 00:07:07,543 --> 00:07:09,751 ‎然後告訴大家應該去看 118 00:07:09,834 --> 00:07:12,251 ‎而他們說:“好,也許改天吧” 119 00:07:12,334 --> 00:07:13,209 ‎對 120 00:07:13,293 --> 00:07:15,918 ‎到他們終於看了,就會說 121 00:07:16,001 --> 00:07:18,668 ‎“我真希望我有聽推薦者的建議 122 00:07:18,751 --> 00:07:23,459 ‎馬上去看,因為這電影很出色 ‎我完全沉醉其中” 123 00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:25,751 ‎現在就是這種情況 124 00:07:25,834 --> 00:07:27,293 ‎-一模一樣 ‎-好 125 00:07:27,376 --> 00:07:33,459 ‎但我們可以晚點再談嗎? ‎我真的很想把這個約會弄完美 126 00:07:33,543 --> 00:07:37,084 ‎好,讓我們晚點再回頭討論 ‎然後制訂計劃 127 00:07:37,168 --> 00:07:39,418 ‎在餐廳舉辦一個活動或之類的 128 00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:40,376 ‎好啊 129 00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:42,668 ‎棒極了,非常感謝你,船長先生 130 00:07:43,501 --> 00:07:44,501 ‎好耶! 131 00:07:46,793 --> 00:07:49,459 ‎這張門卡通往之處 ‎我們稱之為“上牀船艙” 132 00:07:50,084 --> 00:07:53,293 ‎因為我們將“上牀”和“船艙”連在一起 133 00:07:53,376 --> 00:07:56,168 ‎-就像個玩笑話 ‎-對,她懂的,謝了,尼可 134 00:07:56,251 --> 00:08:00,168 ‎-嘩,謝謝你 ‎-也帶妳美麗的朋友來吧 135 00:08:00,251 --> 00:08:01,418 ‎我們會去的 136 00:08:02,626 --> 00:08:06,584 ‎尼可,你不必解釋笑話 ‎這樣就不酷了 137 00:08:06,668 --> 00:08:10,543 ‎就把“上牀船艙”當作 ‎世上最自然的詞一樣說出來就好 138 00:08:10,626 --> 00:08:14,459 ‎-說得有自信一點 ‎-好,對,一點不錯 139 00:08:14,543 --> 00:08:16,876 ‎抱歉,那說得太對了 140 00:08:16,959 --> 00:08:18,168 ‎到時見,男孩們 141 00:08:18,251 --> 00:08:22,084 ‎記得喝點蛋清 ‎事先補水,拿出你們最好的能耐 142 00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,293 ‎好,我們很期待 143 00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:28,876 ‎大家能聽我說幾句嗎? 144 00:08:29,376 --> 00:08:33,126 ‎大家好,我叫喬納森法勒 ‎是這艘船的船長 145 00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:37,626 ‎歡迎各位光臨單身郵輪! 146 00:08:38,126 --> 00:08:41,459 ‎我在空氣中感應到甚麼? 147 00:08:41,543 --> 00:08:43,793 ‎你們感覺到嗎? 148 00:08:44,793 --> 00:08:48,168 ‎那是甚麼?太奇怪了,是浪漫! 149 00:08:49,293 --> 00:08:52,459 ‎我感受到瀰漫空氣中的浪漫 150 00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:57,293 ‎而且看着邱比特行動的機會 ‎可不是天天都有 151 00:08:57,376 --> 00:09:00,376 ‎所以那的確很刺激 152 00:09:00,459 --> 00:09:04,501 ‎但我能邀請 ‎莉莎芭蕊小姐到台上來嗎? 153 00:09:04,584 --> 00:09:07,876 ‎-我很樂意壓在你身上 ‎-莉莎芭蕊? 154 00:09:07,959 --> 00:09:10,251 ‎莉莎?喔,妳在那裏,莉莎 155 00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:11,918 ‎-然後舔遍你全身上下 ‎-莉莎? 156 00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,751 ‎-甚麼? ‎-上來這裏,寶貝 157 00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:20,793 ‎我真的很高興 ‎芭蕊小姐和我不必四處奔波 158 00:09:20,876 --> 00:09:23,793 ‎試着尋找靈魂伴侶 ‎因為我們已經找到彼此 159 00:09:29,043 --> 00:09:31,376 ‎各位單身人士 ‎祝大家好運!玩得開心點 160 00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:37,084 ‎謝謝大家,對,抱歉,她名花有主了 161 00:09:37,168 --> 00:09:38,751 ‎所以別對她出手 162 00:09:39,459 --> 00:09:40,293 ‎好了 163 00:09:40,376 --> 00:09:43,751 ‎-嘩,船長,那太浪漫了 ‎-謝謝 164 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:48,543 ‎我只是希望有一天我能體驗 ‎你們燃燒中的那種熾熱愛情 165 00:09:49,251 --> 00:09:50,668 ‎我真羨慕你們兩個 166 00:09:50,751 --> 00:09:52,876 ‎別放棄,我的朋友 167 00:09:52,959 --> 00:09:55,918 ‎那個特別的人就在某處 168 00:09:56,001 --> 00:09:57,209 ‎但願如此 169 00:09:57,293 --> 00:09:59,709 ‎佩德羅,當你失去童貞時 170 00:09:59,793 --> 00:10:02,501 ‎要確保對象是合適的女孩 171 00:10:02,584 --> 00:10:05,334 ‎就等你找到真命天女吧 172 00:10:05,418 --> 00:10:06,418 ‎謝謝,朋友 173 00:10:07,126 --> 00:10:09,709 ‎那絕對是很好的建議 174 00:10:09,793 --> 00:10:12,334 ‎-我會在日記裏記下來的 ‎-太好了 175 00:10:12,834 --> 00:10:17,001 ‎莉莎,我還有另一個驚喜要給妳 176 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:17,959 ‎是? 177 00:10:18,543 --> 00:10:21,251 ‎妳是否準備好經歷非比尋常的體驗? 178 00:10:21,334 --> 00:10:23,876 ‎我剛才是的,非常,對 179 00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:26,043 ‎太好了,跟我來 180 00:10:27,376 --> 00:10:28,668 ‎各位?搞甚麼? 181 00:10:41,293 --> 00:10:43,793 ‎-船長,你的飲料 ‎-謝了,甘瑟 182 00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:44,834 ‎看起來很美味 183 00:10:51,293 --> 00:10:52,334 ‎太棒了 184 00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:55,751 ‎沒甚麼能勝過高品質汽水 ‎帶給你的閃耀着氣泡的質感了 185 00:10:55,834 --> 00:10:57,126 ‎而且這是真正的可樂 186 00:10:57,209 --> 00:11:00,959 ‎可不是廉價可樂仿製品 ‎才不是呢,先生 187 00:11:01,751 --> 00:11:03,709 ‎-很好 ‎-是吧? 188 00:11:04,209 --> 00:11:08,168 ‎我算是在當值吧 ‎我真的必須回去工作了 189 00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:11,168 ‎跟船長交往的福利之一 190 00:11:11,251 --> 00:11:15,084 ‎是我可以決定讓妳休假一晚 ‎這件事我已經辦妥了 191 00:11:15,918 --> 00:11:19,793 ‎能逃離樓下那個人肉市場,互相滋養 192 00:11:19,876 --> 00:11:22,001 ‎不是很棒嗎? 193 00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:26,251 ‎我敢說佩德羅他們 ‎現在一定很羨慕我們 194 00:11:26,334 --> 00:11:28,793 ‎對,肯定是這樣 195 00:11:28,876 --> 00:11:31,793 ‎對,因為妳想想看 196 00:11:31,876 --> 00:11:34,334 ‎這正是他們所尋覓的 197 00:11:34,418 --> 00:11:37,418 ‎妳懂嗎?就是我們眼前所擁有的 198 00:11:51,293 --> 00:11:53,876 ‎(佩德羅傳來一張照片) 199 00:11:55,334 --> 00:11:59,626 ‎我的媽呀,這罐可樂實在太棒了 ‎甚至超越我的預期 200 00:12:03,251 --> 00:12:04,293 ‎人氣小姐 201 00:12:04,376 --> 00:12:07,668 ‎甚麼?喔,不,只是工作上的事 202 00:12:07,751 --> 00:12:10,543 ‎我說,妳知道 ‎妳現在可以把工作都拋諸腦後 203 00:12:10,626 --> 00:12:15,459 ‎因為我製作了對話卡 ‎那我們就可以用自然的方式 204 00:12:15,543 --> 00:12:19,543 ‎了解彼此的一切,而沒有壓迫感 205 00:12:21,293 --> 00:12:22,293 ‎好吧,我準備好了 206 00:12:22,793 --> 00:12:25,043 ‎好的,那麼妳想說甚麼? 207 00:12:25,126 --> 00:12:28,293 ‎天氣?物價,以前和現在? 208 00:12:28,376 --> 00:12:30,334 ‎愛貓還是愛狗? 209 00:12:30,418 --> 00:12:33,209 ‎喔,這個很棒,汽水 210 00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:44,709 ‎我們又見面了,我朝思暮想的白鯨 211 00:12:47,251 --> 00:12:49,626 ‎今晚我們來跳舞吧 212 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:57,043 ‎-嘿 ‎-嘿,約會愉快嗎? 213 00:12:57,126 --> 00:13:00,584 ‎才不,那個煞風景的鮑魚圍封器 ‎圍封我的鮑魚整晚還不只呢 214 00:13:00,668 --> 00:13:04,209 ‎-我在這郵輪上被孤立了 ‎-我很遺憾 215 00:13:05,001 --> 00:13:07,793 ‎對,糟透了,因為昨天可瘋狂了 216 00:13:07,876 --> 00:13:11,043 ‎我們大概連續長驅直進了五個小時 217 00:13:11,126 --> 00:13:12,043 ‎-甚麼? ‎-對 218 00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,459 ‎經典的雙人合作,我們一個出擊 219 00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:18,043 ‎另一個則補充水分,加油打氣 220 00:13:18,126 --> 00:13:19,084 ‎那太棒了 221 00:13:19,168 --> 00:13:22,751 ‎但老實說,這比我想像中疲累得多 222 00:13:22,834 --> 00:13:27,001 ‎到了第四、五個小時 ‎你就只是苟延殘喘 223 00:13:27,084 --> 00:13:29,418 ‎單純的用意志力猛鑽那條隧道 224 00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:32,001 ‎-你們今晚要繼續嗎? ‎-不了 225 00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:33,959 ‎絕對不要,太痛了 226 00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:36,001 ‎我也是,都腫了 227 00:13:37,543 --> 00:13:41,959 ‎我老二的皮膚滿是誇張的燒傷痕跡 ‎它承受不了那麼多個小時的摩擦 228 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:45,834 ‎你好,阿爾賈曼 229 00:13:45,918 --> 00:13:49,168 ‎哈囉,親愛的莉莎,我的美人兒 230 00:13:49,251 --> 00:13:52,084 ‎我想確認所有東西都準備好送貨 231 00:13:52,168 --> 00:13:54,459 ‎是的,先生,我們有讓你失望過嗎? 232 00:13:54,543 --> 00:13:57,876 ‎沒有,我有那麼多老婆 ‎都要感謝你們 233 00:13:57,959 --> 00:13:58,793 ‎我知道 234 00:13:58,876 --> 00:14:01,543 ‎好了,我看了所有照片 235 00:14:02,043 --> 00:14:03,668 ‎她們都美得很 236 00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:06,043 ‎選擇會很艱難 237 00:14:06,126 --> 00:14:07,834 ‎按照你的心意就好 238 00:14:07,918 --> 00:14:09,376 ‎或是審美眼光 239 00:14:09,459 --> 00:14:12,293 ‎說到組建後宮,哪有分對錯 240 00:14:12,376 --> 00:14:15,918 ‎莉莎,妳確定 ‎我不能誘惑妳加入我的後宮嗎? 241 00:14:16,001 --> 00:14:19,251 ‎妳肯定會是我的十大妻子之一 242 00:14:19,334 --> 00:14:22,501 ‎抱歉,阿爾賈曼,這非常吸引,但… 243 00:14:22,584 --> 00:14:25,043 ‎你知道的,人口販賣是我心之所屬… 244 00:14:26,084 --> 00:14:30,501 ‎好吧,我今晚會帶着破碎的心來見妳 245 00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:22,709 ‎(柏立得) 246 00:15:42,584 --> 00:15:43,668 ‎真耗時 247 00:16:19,584 --> 00:16:20,751 ‎(准許進入) 248 00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,501 ‎我不懂你是怎麼回事 249 00:16:26,584 --> 00:16:31,126 ‎竟然覺得 ‎在多人使用的小房間裏放屁並無不妥 250 00:16:31,209 --> 00:16:33,543 ‎不好意思,但那裏面沒有抽屁扇 251 00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:36,293 ‎抽屁扇根本不存在,甘瑟 252 00:16:36,376 --> 00:16:38,626 ‎像個正常人一樣到房間外放屁去 253 00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:42,334 ‎對,在此事上,我其實站在莉莎那邊 254 00:16:42,418 --> 00:16:46,043 ‎我只能道歉,但我知道這也無補於事 255 00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:49,668 ‎我令你們失望了,更甚者 256 00:16:50,168 --> 00:16:51,293 ‎我令自己失望了 257 00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:11,834 ‎(證據33 法勒船長) 258 00:17:11,918 --> 00:17:13,209 ‎(喬納森法勒船長 證據) 259 00:17:15,001 --> 00:17:15,876 ‎(我和船長在一起!) 260 00:17:25,876 --> 00:17:29,209 ‎有了,毒蛇的首腦 261 00:17:31,376 --> 00:17:33,959 ‎我很榮幸能歡迎大家 262 00:17:34,043 --> 00:17:37,668 ‎光臨加勒比女王號的強制泡沫派對! 263 00:17:44,168 --> 00:17:46,751 ‎在泡沫裏玩得開心!我知道我會的 264 00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:19,918 ‎(加勒比女王號) 265 00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:27,501 ‎她 266 00:18:27,584 --> 00:18:29,376 ‎還有她 267 00:18:49,334 --> 00:18:50,168 ‎莉莎! 268 00:18:53,084 --> 00:18:54,959 ‎這真令人興奮 269 00:18:55,043 --> 00:18:58,209 ‎我不敢相信我未來的妻子就躺在其中 270 00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:01,418 ‎感受我的心,它因為愛而翻騰 271 00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:05,918 ‎對,我看得出來你飄飄然的 ‎那麼,這幾位就是你的五強人選 272 00:19:07,293 --> 00:19:09,334 ‎魔鬼在細節裏 273 00:19:11,251 --> 00:19:12,876 ‎美麗的牙齒 274 00:19:12,959 --> 00:19:14,418 ‎很可能戴過牙套 275 00:19:14,918 --> 00:19:18,043 ‎-補過幾隻牙 ‎-檢查得越徹底越好 276 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,376 ‎莉莎,我不想她們太瘦 277 00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:25,334 ‎嘩 278 00:19:25,959 --> 00:19:28,918 ‎這真是好貨色,對吧?看她的雙臀 279 00:19:29,793 --> 00:19:32,251 ‎她會為我帶來很多個兒子 280 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,418 ‎對,就是這位了 281 00:19:35,126 --> 00:19:37,501 ‎我從不相信一見鍾情,可是 282 00:19:38,834 --> 00:19:41,334 ‎我找到老婆了 283 00:19:48,543 --> 00:19:50,084 ‎女人墮海 284 00:19:50,751 --> 00:19:53,501 ‎單身郵輪的又一次悲慘自殺事件 285 00:19:54,001 --> 00:19:57,418 ‎那種關於難以承受的心碎的典型故事 ‎每年都會上演 286 00:19:58,751 --> 00:20:00,918 ‎妳那樣說是因為這並非事實吧? 287 00:20:01,876 --> 00:20:04,584 ‎妳把女人賣給我,讓家屬以為 288 00:20:04,668 --> 00:20:08,793 ‎她們自殺或逃跑了 ‎而且她們傷心欲絕 289 00:20:11,001 --> 00:20:14,293 ‎對,那就是笑話的本意 290 00:20:14,376 --> 00:20:17,959 ‎但經你這麼一說,就不那麼好笑了 291 00:20:18,043 --> 00:20:19,168 ‎我還在笑呢 292 00:20:36,209 --> 00:20:39,626 ‎鯊魚!我是鋼鐵,你聽得見嗎? 293 00:20:39,709 --> 00:20:45,793 ‎我是貝克,特種組別的斯蒂爾探員 ‎我能如何為你效勞? 294 00:20:47,501 --> 00:20:49,959 ‎我是鋼鐵,我們要用代號 295 00:20:50,043 --> 00:20:52,293 ‎收到,斯蒂爾探員! 296 00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:56,334 ‎是鋼鐵!聽我說,我在這邊玩火 297 00:20:56,418 --> 00:20:58,501 ‎可能無法活着離開 298 00:20:58,584 --> 00:21:01,959 ‎知道了,斯蒂爾探員…鋼鐵…斯蒂爾 299 00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,626 ‎甚麼?如果我出了甚麼事 300 00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:08,668 ‎我想你知道操控這事的 ‎是個鬼鬼祟祟的乖寶寶 301 00:21:08,751 --> 00:21:11,626 ‎他叫法勒船長,寫下來吧 302 00:21:11,709 --> 00:21:13,626 ‎沒關係,我會背起來 303 00:21:13,709 --> 00:21:18,626 ‎不!看在老天份上 ‎寫下來吧,法勒船長 304 00:21:18,709 --> 00:21:22,959 ‎不,我用不着 ‎那個名字很好記,你懂嗎? 305 00:21:23,043 --> 00:21:26,834 ‎你就快快去拿紙筆吧 306 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:29,084 ‎寫下來就好,法勒船長,拜託 307 00:21:29,168 --> 00:21:32,668 ‎不,你一個不小心就會弄丟一張紙 308 00:21:32,751 --> 00:21:34,709 ‎-我會放進保險庫裏 ‎-沒有保險庫 309 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:37,293 ‎我的頭腦就是我的硬碟 310 00:21:37,376 --> 00:21:40,709 ‎不要,求你了 ‎這實在太重要了,法勒船長 311 00:21:40,793 --> 00:21:43,459 ‎他必須去坐牢,你寫下來了嗎? 312 00:21:43,543 --> 00:21:46,543 ‎是妳嗎,阿德萊德辛普森小姐? 313 00:21:47,834 --> 00:21:50,501 ‎甚麼鬼東西?貝克,我是斯蒂爾探員 314 00:21:50,584 --> 00:21:54,168 ‎-我喜歡妳的新髮型 ‎-喂?鯊魚? 315 00:21:54,251 --> 00:21:56,834 ‎-妳清減了嗎,妳這小騷貨? ‎-貝克? 316 00:21:58,876 --> 00:22:02,793 ‎妳知道嗎,要不是因為有 ‎社交媒體和交友程式等等 317 00:22:02,876 --> 00:22:05,168 ‎我也不必這麼費心 318 00:22:05,251 --> 00:22:09,168 ‎-是嗎? ‎-如今約會是全職工作 319 00:22:09,251 --> 00:22:13,334 ‎我就是沒有時間 ‎在手機上滑來滑去傳私訊之類 320 00:22:14,084 --> 00:22:15,376 ‎我懂你的意思了 321 00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,959 ‎你的新任太太現在熟睡中 322 00:22:18,043 --> 00:22:20,751 ‎但大概再過一個小時 ‎就會醒來,好好享受! 323 00:22:21,376 --> 00:22:25,876 ‎莉莎,也請代我向法勒船長致謝 ‎謝謝,親愛的 324 00:22:35,418 --> 00:22:38,793 ‎(艾希莉湯普森 山口莎朗 ‎莉娜卡米卓 塔瑪拉赫南德斯) 325 00:22:45,168 --> 00:22:48,793 ‎-她最終可能會真正幸福快樂 ‎-對,一點不錯 326 00:22:49,501 --> 00:22:53,459 ‎當她跟他在那潛艇中醒來時 ‎也許會火花四濺 327 00:22:53,543 --> 00:22:56,668 ‎而且他們也可能很投緣之類的 328 00:22:57,168 --> 00:23:00,501 ‎那可以演變成真愛 329 00:23:00,584 --> 00:23:03,293 ‎大概吧,對 330 00:23:03,876 --> 00:23:08,126 ‎我拿鑽石下去,你去重啟派對吧 331 00:23:09,084 --> 00:23:11,209 ‎(哥羅芳混合泡沫 甦醒泡沫) 332 00:23:29,918 --> 00:23:33,001 ‎我要去喘口氣,這泡沫讓我頭暈 333 00:23:34,334 --> 00:23:35,334 ‎甚麼? 334 00:23:35,418 --> 00:23:38,709 ‎我說我要去喘口氣,這泡沫讓我頭暈 335 00:23:38,793 --> 00:23:40,751 ‎繼續奏你的音樂,太棒了! 336 00:23:41,584 --> 00:23:42,418 ‎甚麼? 337 00:23:52,793 --> 00:23:54,001 ‎(喬納森法勒船長 證據) 338 00:23:56,418 --> 00:24:00,709 ‎嘿,怎麼回樹? ‎先生,晚上不要潛水,那不安全 339 00:24:00,793 --> 00:24:03,626 ‎喔,你在這裏,法勒船長 340 00:24:04,209 --> 00:24:05,626 ‎喔,是的 341 00:24:05,709 --> 00:24:09,043 ‎我很少遇到這麼純粹的邪惡之徒 342 00:24:09,126 --> 00:24:13,043 ‎我必須承認 ‎我尊重如此可怕又狡猾的對手 343 00:24:13,126 --> 00:24:17,084 ‎但你玩完了,法庭見,船長 344 00:24:17,168 --> 00:24:18,876 ‎甚麼?你要控告我 345 00:24:18,959 --> 00:24:22,001 ‎是因為你在郵輪上遇不到心上人? 346 00:24:22,084 --> 00:24:23,668 ‎你在說甚麼鬼話? 347 00:24:23,751 --> 00:24:26,209 ‎我手上的證據,足夠把你關一輩子 348 00:24:26,293 --> 00:24:29,293 ‎去坐牢?你為甚麼要那樣做? 349 00:24:29,376 --> 00:24:32,751 ‎別跟我裝模作樣 ‎你操作整個該死的集團 350 00:24:32,834 --> 00:24:36,043 ‎我看過你船上發生的可怕事情 351 00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:38,459 ‎你怎麼能心安理得,法勒? 352 00:24:42,418 --> 00:24:44,209 ‎我們有紅色警戒,重複,紅色警戒 353 00:24:44,293 --> 00:24:46,626 ‎船上有入侵者 ‎在第三層甲板的船尾位置 354 00:24:46,709 --> 00:24:48,751 ‎重複,在第三層甲板的船尾位置 355 00:24:49,626 --> 00:24:52,418 ‎呃,我不太明白你在說甚麼,先生 356 00:24:52,501 --> 00:24:55,709 ‎我只是個忠實的船長 ‎負責把人們從甲地運送到乙地 357 00:24:55,793 --> 00:24:58,334 ‎同時試着讓他們 ‎度過畢生難忘的美好時光 358 00:24:58,418 --> 00:25:00,584 ‎“我只是個忠實的船長…” ‎不,你才不是 359 00:25:00,668 --> 00:25:02,918 ‎你是個壞人,壞事做盡 360 00:25:03,001 --> 00:25:05,251 ‎活該承受即將降臨在你身上的一切 361 00:25:05,334 --> 00:25:08,043 ‎嘩,那是甚麼瘋話 362 00:25:08,126 --> 00:25:11,626 ‎我從來沒有傷害過任何人 ‎連在情感上也沒有 363 00:25:11,709 --> 00:25:15,793 ‎你死定了,法勒船長,我會親自處理 364 00:25:15,876 --> 00:25:18,001 ‎是嗎?認真的嗎? 365 00:25:18,793 --> 00:25:21,251 ‎但我根本不知道你是誰 366 00:25:21,334 --> 00:25:22,918 ‎我是誰?這個嘛 367 00:25:23,751 --> 00:25:28,418 ‎我是斯蒂爾探員,你最可怕的夢魘 368 00:25:33,668 --> 00:25:34,501 ‎是嗎? 369 00:26:16,793 --> 00:26:19,709 ‎字幕翻譯:Kate