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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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Just a minute.
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Mr. Nichols?
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This is the place.
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00:01:23,508 --> 00:01:25,244
What in Sam Hill is going on?
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We're here to help you move.
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00:01:26,479 --> 00:01:28,347
Is the furniture going?
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00:01:28,414 --> 00:01:30,282
No, just the boxes.
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00:01:30,349 --> 00:01:32,650
Wait, I didn't hire movers.
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Someone tweeted that
you needed help moving.
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I don't Twitter.
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[? yeah. ?] Be
careful with that.
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00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:52,171
Hey, are these yours?
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They were my wife's.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
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Put them in back.
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You sure you don't
need help unloading?
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I can handle it.
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00:02:05,451 --> 00:02:06,218
God loves you, man.
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00:06:51,136 --> 00:06:53,305
God, I need a miracle.
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00:07:45,624 --> 00:07:46,525
Hold your horses.
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00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:56,435
Hey, bro.
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Ay.
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Call me sir.
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Right, sir.
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I left a shoe box inside.
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In my place?
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It's my grandmother's place.
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I stayed here until it rented.
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Take this too.
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00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:22,494
Oh, you can keep that stuff.
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I don't want it.
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It's not going to fit in my car.
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Because it's a little baby car.
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00:08:27,833 --> 00:08:29,234
Oh, hey, jarhead.
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I was hoping I'd never get
to see you again, homie.
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00:08:32,538 --> 00:08:34,540
Likewise.
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00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:41,280
I got something you're
going to need for him.
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00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:50,222
Grandma Rose, she called
this her blessing stick.
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00:08:53,659 --> 00:08:55,127
Blessing stick?
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00:08:55,194 --> 00:08:56,795
Yeah, she the blessed people
over the head who were
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trying to get in her house.
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00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:03,101
Hey, take your box.
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00:09:05,804 --> 00:09:07,439
Merry Christmas, homie.
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It's not Christmas.
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That figures.
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Any time, Jesus.
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Any time.
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00:10:32,624 --> 00:10:36,029
Hey, this guy's
stealing your truck.
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00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,297
What?
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00:10:42,834 --> 00:10:44,136
What's going on?
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00:10:44,202 --> 00:10:45,137
Eddie Nichols?
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Get out of my truck.
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00:10:47,339 --> 00:10:49,107
It's not your
truck anymore, man.
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The medical bills shouldn't
be tied to the truck.
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00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:54,713
Can't we just...
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Eh.
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You have to talk
to the bank, OK?
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00:11:18,303 --> 00:11:21,206
That sucks.
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00:11:21,273 --> 00:11:26,311
In my home, young lady,
that was a swear word.
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00:11:26,378 --> 00:11:29,381
Merry Christmas
to you too, Scrooge.
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It's not Christmas!
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Here we go again.
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[inaudible]
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It's my fault again.
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The night shift, the day shift...
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Yeah, OK.
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...the late shift.
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Oh, yeah.
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But I didn't do anything before.
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No, no, yeah, that's
what I've done my...
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...six hours, and there's
dishes [inaudible]..
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What, is there a camera here?
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Do you even see what I'm...
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[inaudible] the dishes.
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It doesn't make...
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Yeah?
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Just seeing if
everything is all right.
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He won't do the dishes.
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It's never about the dishes.
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Get away from the door.
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What are you looking at?
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Your Jesus is missing.
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Excuse me?
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Your Jesus is gone.
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You can say that again.
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Your Jesus is gone.
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I was just wondering
if I could...
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No.
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You don't know what
I was going to ask.
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Uh, no.
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Is that your final answer?
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No.
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Who's in charge here?
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I see his name.
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What's your name?
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My name is No.
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You don't... you're not perfect.
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You don't do everything.
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...and then you come home,
and there's piles of laundry
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everywhere.
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OK, one day.
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What about last week?
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What did I do...
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OK, just talk over me them.
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Yeah, fine, talk over me.
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What did I do last week?
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Do I even get a
"thank you," maybe?
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[inaudible] every
single day [inaudible]..
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Whatever!
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Your parents know where you are?
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Ramos is not my father.
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Does he hurt you?
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No, I'm a ghost to him.
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You're not a ghost.
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You are if nobody sees you.
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I see you.
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I knight thee a real, live kid.
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What is that?
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It's a blessing stick.
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I was going to give
Ramos a blessing.
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He doesn't deserve a blessing.
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Sometimes hurt
people hurt people.
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Who said that?
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I saw it on a bumper sticker.
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Rose used to light these up.
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They don't work anymore.
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I wish everyday was Christmas.
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Why is that?
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Christmas is about getting
presents, and people are nicer.
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Hope, get in here!
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Can I tell you something?
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Sure.
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That stuff you're in
smells really bad.
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No.
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Just this little
spot, for a garden.
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No.
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Go plant the garden
in the field out back.
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That land is toxic.
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Nothing will ever grow there.
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I'm going to take
that as a "yes."
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What's this place?
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It's where you hold your horses.
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Does your mother
know where you are?
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She's old school.
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She just says go play.
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What are you doing?
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Planting a garden.
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Why?
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Something to do.
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Looks like work.
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People not willing to
work, shouldn't eat.
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Says who?
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The Bible says that.
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Want to see something weird?
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Always.
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Of all the places in
this field, the best soil
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is under this dead tree.
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Nothing that's died has
ever come back to life.
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That's not true.
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My daddy died, and
he's never coming back.
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I'm sorry.
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Mom says people
shouldn't say sorry when
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you find out someone's died.
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You should ask what
were they like.
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OK.
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What was he like, your dad?
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He was good.
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Kind of silly.
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What was she like, your wife?
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How do you know I lost my wife?
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No one moves into
my neighborhood
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because they just
started living.
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She was kind of silly,
probably like your dad.
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She liked rock and
roll and sushi.
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Gross!
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Come on, kid.
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Give me a hand.
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What was your wife's name?
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Olivia, and she loved to work.
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Did she work at a donut shop?
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She was a horticulturist.
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A horti-whatter-what?
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She was a plant expert.
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00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:20,033
She taught me everything
I know about gardening.
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00:27:20,098 --> 00:27:21,166
What did you teach her?
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I taught her what I
thought I knew about faith.
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You a preacher?
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00:27:29,474 --> 00:27:33,679
No, just a guy who's
read the Bible a lot.
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My mom has a Bible.
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00:27:35,314 --> 00:27:37,382
She stopped reading
it after my dad died.
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Bible's got great stories in it.
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Comics.
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00:27:44,289 --> 00:27:46,191
Great stories.
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They're not true stories.
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00:27:50,029 --> 00:27:52,698
I used to tell Bible stories
while working in our garden.
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Say, what's your name?
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Hope.
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What's yours?
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00:28:02,774 --> 00:28:07,679
When I was a school teacher,
they called me Mr. Nichols.
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Are you gonna tell Bible stories
while you plant this garden?
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No.
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There is no one left
to tell them to.
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This old
man, he played one.
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00:28:34,673 --> 00:28:37,442
He played knick
knack on my thumb.
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00:28:37,509 --> 00:28:41,213
With a knick knack paddy
whack, give a dog a bone,
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this old man came rolling home.
208
00:29:52,384 --> 00:29:55,620
That was the longest
20 yards of my life.
209
00:29:57,422 --> 00:29:59,391
My sciatica is killing me.
210
00:30:05,363 --> 00:30:07,200
I don't even remember
how I got here.
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00:31:04,856 --> 00:31:06,225
What did you find?
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00:31:06,291 --> 00:31:09,294
Looks like a plug.
213
00:31:09,361 --> 00:31:10,762
It's a tree nut.
214
00:31:10,829 --> 00:31:13,065
Some part of the tree
once grew out of there.
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00:31:17,970 --> 00:31:19,538
Trees are the first
thing that God
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planted in the Garden of Eden.
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00:31:21,406 --> 00:31:23,375
Eden?
218
00:31:24,476 --> 00:31:26,511
It's the first
story in the Bible.
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00:31:33,819 --> 00:31:35,854
In the beginning,
there was nothing.
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00:31:35,921 --> 00:31:36,321
Nothing?
221
00:31:36,388 --> 00:31:37,689
Nothing.
222
00:31:37,756 --> 00:31:42,794
No earth, no sky, no
sea, plants, no animals,
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00:31:42,861 --> 00:31:43,495
and no people.
224
00:31:43,562 --> 00:31:45,131
I didn't know that.
225
00:31:45,198 --> 00:31:48,800
God spoke in the darkness,
"Let there be light."
226
00:31:48,867 --> 00:31:50,937
And just like that,
there was light.
227
00:31:51,003 --> 00:31:52,404
Like a light switch.
228
00:31:52,470 --> 00:31:56,309
Like a light switch God
saw the light was good,
229
00:31:56,374 --> 00:31:59,878
so He split the light from
the dark and called it a day.
230
00:31:59,946 --> 00:32:01,847
The next morning,
God looked around
231
00:32:01,913 --> 00:32:05,251
and thought the Earth
needs to be more organized.
232
00:32:05,318 --> 00:32:09,387
So He put all the water in
one place and all the dry land
233
00:32:09,454 --> 00:32:10,822
in another.
234
00:32:10,889 --> 00:32:14,392
When He finished that,
He made plants and trees,
235
00:32:14,459 --> 00:32:16,295
like the ones that cover
the Rocky Mountains.
236
00:32:19,198 --> 00:32:21,399
Come on.
237
00:32:23,970 --> 00:32:26,738
All sorts of trees and
grasses began to grow.
238
00:32:29,275 --> 00:32:33,946
Then God made the sun to
light the sky during the day.
239
00:32:34,013 --> 00:32:37,449
He hung the moon and stars
to sparkle the night.
240
00:32:37,515 --> 00:32:39,151
He stepped back to
look at His work
241
00:32:39,218 --> 00:32:42,288
and said "This is good stuff."
242
00:32:42,355 --> 00:32:43,421
Good stuff.
243
00:32:46,058 --> 00:32:49,594
The next day, God filled
the waters with life...
244
00:32:49,661 --> 00:32:52,064
millions of fish
swimming in the ocean.
245
00:32:52,131 --> 00:32:55,268
He made birds and sent them
soaring through the air.
246
00:32:55,334 --> 00:32:56,235
"Excellent.
247
00:32:56,302 --> 00:33:00,805
This is good," He said.
248
00:33:00,872 --> 00:33:01,740
Come on.
249
00:33:04,876 --> 00:33:07,679
Then God let the
Earth bring forth
250
00:33:07,746 --> 00:33:10,515
living creatures,
creeping things,
251
00:33:10,582 --> 00:33:12,084
and beasts of the Earth.
252
00:33:12,151 --> 00:33:14,053
Dinosaurs?
253
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:19,392
Everything, from ants to zebras,
lions and tigers and bears.
254
00:33:19,457 --> 00:33:20,192
Oh boy.
255
00:33:23,495 --> 00:33:26,332
But God felt
something was missing.
256
00:33:26,399 --> 00:33:27,699
What was missing?
257
00:33:27,766 --> 00:33:28,367
Man.
258
00:33:28,433 --> 00:33:29,534
What about woman?
259
00:33:34,906 --> 00:33:36,409
God spoke again.
260
00:33:36,474 --> 00:33:40,745
"Let Us make man in Our
image, and let him rule over
261
00:33:40,812 --> 00:33:43,448
the fish in the sea,
the birds in the air,
262
00:33:43,515 --> 00:33:45,650
and the creatures on land."
263
00:33:45,717 --> 00:33:48,620
And it happened just like that.
264
00:33:51,257 --> 00:33:54,459
He created the very first man.
265
00:33:54,526 --> 00:33:56,728
From what?
266
00:33:58,197 --> 00:34:03,436
Life will grow from the soil
of the Earth if it is loved.
267
00:34:03,501 --> 00:34:05,137
God made man from dirt.
268
00:34:08,807 --> 00:34:11,344
What did God make kids from?
269
00:34:11,410 --> 00:34:12,477
Candy, of course.
270
00:34:15,580 --> 00:34:17,183
Do you have kids?
271
00:34:17,249 --> 00:34:18,284
I have a daughter.
272
00:34:18,351 --> 00:34:20,518
She's all grown up and married.
273
00:34:20,585 --> 00:34:22,121
She's mad at me.
274
00:34:22,188 --> 00:34:23,855
How come?
275
00:34:23,922 --> 00:34:27,525
She doesn't like the choices
I made for her mom at the end.
276
00:34:27,592 --> 00:34:30,695
Well, just go tell
her you're sorry.
277
00:34:37,470 --> 00:34:39,537
It's not that easy.
278
00:34:39,604 --> 00:34:44,377
When I get in trouble, my
mom sends me to my room.
279
00:34:44,443 --> 00:34:48,014
But when I go say I'm
sorry, she lets me out.
280
00:34:52,650 --> 00:34:55,087
Wait.
281
00:34:55,154 --> 00:34:57,756
I bet my mom's looking
for me right now.
282
00:35:03,362 --> 00:35:05,431
What about woman?
283
00:35:05,498 --> 00:35:07,699
Tomorrow.
284
00:35:15,707 --> 00:35:17,143
Hope, where are you?
285
00:35:21,613 --> 00:35:22,481
Excuse me.
286
00:35:22,547 --> 00:35:25,518
Have you seen my kid?
287
00:35:28,887 --> 00:35:30,622
I'll take that as a no.
288
00:35:37,296 --> 00:35:38,130
Careful.
289
00:35:38,197 --> 00:35:39,265
You'll blow yourself up.
290
00:35:48,307 --> 00:35:49,574
OK.
291
00:35:49,641 --> 00:35:50,509
OK.
292
00:35:50,575 --> 00:35:51,776
That was fun, Shawna.
293
00:36:00,419 --> 00:36:02,354
I win.
294
00:36:02,421 --> 00:36:03,721
I dare you.
295
00:36:03,788 --> 00:36:04,889
I dare you.
296
00:36:53,973 --> 00:36:58,511
Hey, I think we got
off on the wrong foot.
297
00:36:58,577 --> 00:37:00,879
Is that supposed to be
some kind of lame joke?
298
00:37:04,517 --> 00:37:05,817
No, not at all.
299
00:37:12,158 --> 00:37:13,892
IED?
300
00:37:13,959 --> 00:37:15,860
It wasn't an IOU the
government gave me.
301
00:37:18,397 --> 00:37:19,632
All right, then.
302
00:37:19,697 --> 00:37:21,900
Oorah.
303
00:37:24,203 --> 00:37:25,870
Marines?
304
00:37:25,938 --> 00:37:28,607
Vietnam, '68 to '71.
305
00:37:28,673 --> 00:37:29,608
Infantry?
306
00:37:29,674 --> 00:37:30,509
Chaplain.
307
00:38:02,474 --> 00:38:06,045
You're not some kind
of weirdo, are you?
308
00:38:06,111 --> 00:38:08,147
I'm a retired grade
school teacher.
309
00:38:11,584 --> 00:38:13,485
What's with the garden?
310
00:38:13,552 --> 00:38:15,054
It's a healing garden.
311
00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:17,922
My wife planted one
while she was sick.
312
00:38:17,990 --> 00:38:20,092
It didn't work.
313
00:38:20,159 --> 00:38:22,328
I'm sorry.
314
00:38:22,394 --> 00:38:24,663
Well, not sure I want you
filling my kid's head wtih
315
00:38:24,729 --> 00:38:26,432
stories about men
being made from dirt,
316
00:38:26,498 --> 00:38:28,866
because that's the only
thing the Bible got right.
317
00:38:31,903 --> 00:38:34,073
War is a dirty thing.
318
00:38:34,139 --> 00:38:36,342
A man can't wash
it off on his own.
319
00:38:48,454 --> 00:38:50,422
[ON RADIO] Well, Jim, you
know what they say here
320
00:38:50,489 --> 00:38:52,924
in Colorado... if you
don't like the weather,
321
00:38:52,992 --> 00:38:54,326
just wait 10 minutes.
322
00:38:54,393 --> 00:38:56,195
But I wouldn't hold
you up on that,
323
00:38:56,262 --> 00:39:00,065
because summer is holding strong
across the Denver metro area.
324
00:39:00,132 --> 00:39:03,135
In fact, Commerce City tied the
record high afternoon Thursday
325
00:39:03,202 --> 00:39:08,540
of 96 degrees,
first set in 1990.
326
00:39:20,152 --> 00:39:22,688
Is God making girls today?
327
00:39:22,755 --> 00:39:24,822
He makes a woman
for the lonely man.
328
00:39:27,593 --> 00:39:29,794
Cookies for breakfast?
329
00:39:29,861 --> 00:39:31,697
At this point, why not?
330
00:39:46,811 --> 00:39:48,614
Didn't we pull those already?
331
00:39:48,681 --> 00:39:49,448
I got 'em.
332
00:39:57,589 --> 00:40:00,926
God placed the man He had
made in a perfect garden
333
00:40:00,993 --> 00:40:03,962
and told him to take care of it.
334
00:40:04,029 --> 00:40:05,397
No one took care of this tree.
335
00:40:12,471 --> 00:40:15,207
Only the spirit of God could
bring this tree to life.
336
00:40:20,446 --> 00:40:23,816
I think I left my
spirit at home.
337
00:40:23,881 --> 00:40:27,353
Your body's barely here, Norm.
338
00:40:29,388 --> 00:40:34,293
In the middle of the garden,
God planted two special trees.
339
00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,795
One was called the tree
of life, and the other
340
00:40:36,861 --> 00:40:40,232
was called the tree of
knowledge of good and evil.
341
00:40:40,299 --> 00:40:42,134
That sounds like a scary movie.
342
00:40:42,201 --> 00:40:45,437
Evil can feel like
a scary movie.
343
00:40:45,504 --> 00:40:46,638
So God told Adam...
344
00:40:46,705 --> 00:40:49,007
that was the man's name...
345
00:40:49,074 --> 00:40:52,444
he could eat the fruit from
every tree in the garden
346
00:40:52,511 --> 00:40:56,849
except from the tree of
knowledge of good and evil.
347
00:40:56,914 --> 00:41:00,885
"If you eat from this tree,"
God said, "you will die."
348
00:41:00,953 --> 00:41:03,322
Why would God grow a
tree you can't eat from?
349
00:41:03,389 --> 00:41:05,524
He wanted people
to have a choice.
350
00:41:05,591 --> 00:41:08,761
Without free will, we would
just be under God's control.
351
00:41:08,827 --> 00:41:11,497
Like a robot.
352
00:41:11,563 --> 00:41:13,432
Yeah, like a robot.
353
00:41:17,970 --> 00:41:20,372
What's that fool doing now?
354
00:41:20,439 --> 00:41:21,640
OK.
355
00:41:21,707 --> 00:41:22,841
Ready to hear about the woman?
356
00:41:22,907 --> 00:41:26,445
I've been waiting forever.
357
00:41:26,512 --> 00:41:29,948
Adam was lonely and
needed a helper.
358
00:41:30,015 --> 00:41:33,385
So God made Adam fall
into a deep sleep,
359
00:41:33,452 --> 00:41:38,123
took a rib from him, and made
the very first woman from it.
360
00:41:38,190 --> 00:41:41,260
My mom is made of way
more than just a rib.
361
00:41:41,326 --> 00:41:44,329
Women were made as a source
of strength and reinforcement.
362
00:41:44,396 --> 00:41:47,299
All women are more
than just a rib.
363
00:41:47,366 --> 00:41:51,303
The man Adam named his wife
Eve because she would become
364
00:41:51,370 --> 00:41:54,573
the mother of all that live.
365
00:41:54,640 --> 00:42:02,080
But one day Eve was
walking in the garden,
366
00:42:02,147 --> 00:42:04,116
and a snake spoke to her.
367
00:42:04,183 --> 00:42:05,884
A talking snake?
368
00:42:05,951 --> 00:42:07,820
That's just weird.
369
00:42:07,886 --> 00:42:13,292
If it's weird and in the
Bible, it's probably important.
370
00:42:13,358 --> 00:42:15,794
So the snake says
"Did God really
371
00:42:15,861 --> 00:42:19,698
say you can't eat the fruit
from the tree of knowledge
372
00:42:19,765 --> 00:42:20,833
of good and evil?"
373
00:42:20,899 --> 00:42:22,568
What did she say?
374
00:42:22,634 --> 00:42:27,005
She said "We can eat from
any tree in the garden,
375
00:42:27,072 --> 00:42:28,073
but not that one.
376
00:42:28,140 --> 00:42:31,109
God said if we do, we'll die."
377
00:42:31,176 --> 00:42:33,879
Get back, you snake!
378
00:42:33,947 --> 00:42:38,484
So the snake says
"You won't die.
379
00:42:38,550 --> 00:42:42,888
God knows that if you eat
the fruit from that tree
380
00:42:42,956 --> 00:42:50,095
you will become wise as a
god, knowing good and evil."
381
00:42:50,162 --> 00:42:51,697
What do you think Eve did?
382
00:42:51,763 --> 00:42:54,700
She ate from the tree.
383
00:42:54,766 --> 00:42:56,235
Why do you think she did that?
384
00:42:56,301 --> 00:42:57,870
Because you just can't help it.
385
00:42:57,937 --> 00:42:59,605
That's right.
386
00:42:59,671 --> 00:43:02,774
She ate the fruit and then
handed it to her husband Adam.
387
00:43:02,841 --> 00:43:04,209
He was there?
388
00:43:04,276 --> 00:43:06,278
He was standing right
there, doing nothing.
389
00:43:06,345 --> 00:43:08,046
He ate the fruit too.
390
00:43:08,113 --> 00:43:12,184
Then they both saw for the first
time that they had no clothes.
391
00:43:12,251 --> 00:43:13,987
They must have freaked out.
392
00:43:14,052 --> 00:43:14,954
They did.
393
00:43:15,020 --> 00:43:16,421
They felt ashamed.
394
00:43:16,488 --> 00:43:19,625
They ran off and picked
leaves from a fig tree
395
00:43:19,691 --> 00:43:21,193
to cover themselves.
396
00:43:21,260 --> 00:43:23,729
And that was the first sin.
397
00:43:23,795 --> 00:43:27,766
From then on, life
became very hard.
398
00:43:34,239 --> 00:43:36,108
Eve totally blew it.
399
00:43:36,174 --> 00:43:39,511
No, they both blew it.
400
00:43:39,578 --> 00:43:41,813
They should have both been
looking after each other.
401
00:43:59,731 --> 00:44:00,934
Stay here.
402
00:44:14,413 --> 00:44:16,548
What are you doing?
403
00:44:16,615 --> 00:44:17,951
What does it look like, chappie?
404
00:44:18,017 --> 00:44:20,218
Call me sir.
405
00:44:21,553 --> 00:44:24,156
I'll put it in the
corner over there.
406
00:44:24,222 --> 00:44:26,158
No, we're planting
a garden here.
407
00:44:28,493 --> 00:44:31,163
What kind of garden do you think
you're gonna grow in this dump?
408
00:44:31,229 --> 00:44:33,465
The kind I grew in Vietnam.
409
00:44:33,532 --> 00:44:35,068
Oh, I don't like vegetables.
410
00:44:35,133 --> 00:44:37,235
It was a flower garden.
411
00:44:37,302 --> 00:44:38,537
I don't like flowers.
412
00:44:38,604 --> 00:44:41,206
Take your garbage
out of this field.
413
00:44:54,219 --> 00:44:55,921
Are you crazy, old man?
414
00:44:55,989 --> 00:44:58,490
Give me my leg back!
415
00:44:58,557 --> 00:45:02,728
This is better than
fake news on TV.
416
00:45:02,794 --> 00:45:03,562
Yeah.
417
00:45:03,629 --> 00:45:05,464
I just had an IV just yesterday.
418
00:45:09,468 --> 00:45:10,869
You don't know what
I've been through!
419
00:45:10,937 --> 00:45:14,506
I know exactly what
you've been through.
420
00:45:14,573 --> 00:45:19,611
Those flowers were to lay on
the body bags of dead Marines.
421
00:45:19,678 --> 00:45:20,612
Dead Marines!
422
00:45:58,550 --> 00:45:59,651
Have a good day, Marine.
423
00:46:09,294 --> 00:46:10,930
That was awesome.
424
00:46:10,997 --> 00:46:11,897
Yeah?
425
00:46:11,964 --> 00:46:13,365
Well, he had it coming.
426
00:46:13,432 --> 00:46:15,068
What's the next story?
427
00:46:15,134 --> 00:46:20,139
Tomorrow I'll tell you how God
wiped out humanity with water.
428
00:47:31,177 --> 00:47:34,147
Hey, let me ask you something.
429
00:47:34,213 --> 00:47:35,881
No.
430
00:47:35,948 --> 00:47:37,482
Come on!
431
00:47:37,549 --> 00:47:40,418
Everybody here has an
ache, a pain, or a problem.
432
00:47:40,485 --> 00:47:41,753
They all bring them to me.
433
00:47:45,423 --> 00:47:46,358
Listen.
434
00:47:46,424 --> 00:47:48,194
I heard you're a chaplain.
435
00:47:48,261 --> 00:47:50,963
I was.
436
00:47:51,030 --> 00:47:53,832
I'm not getting
any younger, and I
437
00:47:53,899 --> 00:47:58,804
want to make sure I'm right
with the Big Guy upstairs.
438
00:47:58,870 --> 00:48:00,039
The Big Guy?
439
00:48:00,106 --> 00:48:00,839
Yeah.
440
00:48:00,906 --> 00:48:02,074
You know, God.
441
00:48:02,141 --> 00:48:05,011
Jesus and the Spirit thing.
442
00:48:05,077 --> 00:48:07,679
Do you believe that God sent
His one and only Son to Earth
443
00:48:07,746 --> 00:48:10,582
to pay for your sins
and died on a cross
444
00:48:10,649 --> 00:48:13,052
and was resurrected
from the dead?
445
00:48:13,119 --> 00:48:14,020
Yeah, sure.
446
00:48:14,086 --> 00:48:15,353
OK. Fine.
447
00:48:15,420 --> 00:48:17,389
You're good.
448
00:48:17,455 --> 00:48:20,325
Oh, really?
Am I?
449
00:48:21,060 --> 00:48:22,727
Listen, uh...
450
00:48:22,794 --> 00:48:24,096
Carl.
451
00:48:24,163 --> 00:48:25,864
Listen, Carl.
452
00:48:25,932 --> 00:48:29,634
Only you and Christ know
what's in your heart.
453
00:48:29,701 --> 00:48:32,071
And if all that's
in your heart is no,
454
00:48:32,138 --> 00:48:34,573
you better find yes
before it's too late.
455
00:50:19,178 --> 00:50:21,813
Why did God wipe out people?
456
00:50:21,880 --> 00:50:25,617
Because they forgot about
Him and how He loved them.
457
00:50:25,684 --> 00:50:27,219
Except for one man.
458
00:50:27,286 --> 00:50:28,421
His name was Noah.
459
00:50:28,486 --> 00:50:30,122
Oh, I know this story.
460
00:50:30,189 --> 00:50:31,523
You do?
461
00:50:31,589 --> 00:50:33,359
I once got a Noah's
Ark toy for Christmas.
462
00:50:33,426 --> 00:50:35,127
That's why I love Christmas...
463
00:50:35,194 --> 00:50:36,295
you get presents.
464
00:50:36,362 --> 00:50:38,097
Christmas isn't about getting.
465
00:50:38,164 --> 00:50:38,965
Yes it is.
466
00:50:39,031 --> 00:50:40,799
No it's not.
467
00:50:40,865 --> 00:50:43,269
We'll have to skip to the
Christmas story after this one
468
00:50:43,336 --> 00:50:44,403
so you'll know the truth.
469
00:50:44,469 --> 00:50:46,205
You're the storyteller.
470
00:50:46,272 --> 00:50:50,209
So God was very sad that
people stopped loving Him
471
00:50:50,276 --> 00:50:53,511
and that they were
cruel to each other.
472
00:50:55,747 --> 00:50:56,681
Come on, kid.
473
00:50:56,748 --> 00:50:57,682
Let's get out of the heat.
474
00:51:16,534 --> 00:51:17,602
Thank you.
475
00:51:17,669 --> 00:51:19,871
Here you go.
476
00:51:26,544 --> 00:51:27,912
Have a seat.
477
00:51:43,029 --> 00:51:47,967
God said to Noah, "I'm going to
bring rain to flood the earth.
478
00:51:48,034 --> 00:51:51,470
Build a huge boat
from wood, an ark."
479
00:51:51,536 --> 00:51:54,140
Noah did exactly what God asked.
480
00:51:54,206 --> 00:51:57,376
He entered the boat with
his wife, their sons,
481
00:51:57,443 --> 00:51:59,178
and their wives.
482
00:51:59,245 --> 00:52:00,212
Then all the animals came.
483
00:52:03,215 --> 00:52:04,916
Except for the unicorns.
484
00:52:04,984 --> 00:52:06,918
There's no such
thing as unicorns.
485
00:52:06,986 --> 00:52:09,255
Because they didn't
make it to the Ark.
486
00:52:13,259 --> 00:52:14,460
I'm kidding.
487
00:52:14,527 --> 00:52:15,660
Unicorns aren't real.
488
00:52:18,130 --> 00:52:23,469
It rained and poured for
40 days and 40 nights,
489
00:52:23,536 --> 00:52:28,074
flooding the earth and washing
away all living things.
490
00:52:28,140 --> 00:52:30,909
After a long time,
the Ark finally
491
00:52:30,976 --> 00:52:34,013
rested on the side
of a mountain.
492
00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:37,882
Noah's family and all the
animals came off the boat
493
00:52:37,950 --> 00:52:41,753
and spread out all
over the world.
494
00:52:41,820 --> 00:52:44,490
I hope it never floods
like that ever again.
495
00:52:44,557 --> 00:52:45,623
It won't.
496
00:52:45,690 --> 00:52:47,560
How do you know that?
497
00:52:47,625 --> 00:52:50,529
The rainbow in the sky.
498
00:52:50,595 --> 00:52:54,133
It was God's promise to us that
He would never do that again.
499
00:52:55,101 --> 00:52:55,733
Yeah!
500
00:52:57,369 --> 00:52:59,572
That's a great story.
501
00:52:59,637 --> 00:53:01,240
Ohoh!
502
00:53:01,307 --> 00:53:03,309
It is.
503
00:53:09,215 --> 00:53:14,386
But Christmas is the
greatest story ever told.
504
00:53:14,453 --> 00:53:17,590
I'm ready.
505
00:53:17,655 --> 00:53:21,127
Tomorrow while we
plant seeds, I'll
506
00:53:21,193 --> 00:53:22,894
tell you the story
of the miracle.
507
00:53:26,031 --> 00:53:30,169
But first I've
got a job for you.
508
00:53:42,348 --> 00:53:43,449
No.
509
00:53:43,516 --> 00:53:44,782
Eddie told me you'd say that.
510
00:53:47,685 --> 00:53:48,387
Eddie he sent you?
511
00:53:48,454 --> 00:53:49,188
Yep.
512
00:53:53,526 --> 00:53:55,127
All right, kid.
513
00:53:55,194 --> 00:53:56,495
What do you need?
514
00:54:18,517 --> 00:54:21,786
You do know it's not Christmas.
515
00:54:21,853 --> 00:54:23,721
Maybe every day
should be Christmas.
516
00:54:23,788 --> 00:54:25,391
People would be
nicer to each other.
517
00:54:28,726 --> 00:54:29,929
Can I ask you something?
518
00:54:34,366 --> 00:54:40,406
The other day, what did you
mean it's not about the dishes?
519
00:54:44,842 --> 00:54:47,079
You live with a woman
who's had it rough.
520
00:54:47,146 --> 00:54:50,249
She has a child
that needs a father.
521
00:54:50,316 --> 00:54:53,185
If you want a peaceful home, you
need to be a spiritual warrior.
522
00:54:56,222 --> 00:54:59,959
Thought a lot about God
when I was over there.
523
00:55:00,025 --> 00:55:04,096
It seemed more real then.
524
00:55:04,163 --> 00:55:07,099
Death makes God real
for some people.
525
00:55:07,166 --> 00:55:11,136
For others, it can lead them
to questioning their faith.
526
00:55:15,474 --> 00:55:16,375
What was your wife like?
527
00:55:22,880 --> 00:55:24,183
She was awesome.
528
00:55:29,555 --> 00:55:31,290
Good day, chaplain.
529
00:55:32,658 --> 00:55:37,229
Hey, I was baptized
when I was a baby.
530
00:55:37,296 --> 00:55:41,300
Does that stick, or do
I need to do that again?
531
00:55:43,801 --> 00:55:44,703
Just do the dishes.
532
00:56:02,388 --> 00:56:03,589
Excuse me, sir.
533
00:56:03,656 --> 00:56:06,525
What's your problem?
534
00:56:06,592 --> 00:56:08,793
Go with it.
535
00:56:10,095 --> 00:56:18,404
My back hurts, I have to
go to the bathroom a lot,
536
00:56:18,470 --> 00:56:23,942
my nose hairs keep going,
and Hollywood's canceled
537
00:56:24,009 --> 00:56:28,080
the only comedy TV show
starring a conservative.
538
00:56:28,147 --> 00:56:36,021
I can live with all that, but
my spirit is just failing.
539
00:56:39,458 --> 00:56:41,460
Thank you.
540
00:56:41,527 --> 00:56:45,030
Thanks for
brightening up my day.
541
00:56:45,097 --> 00:56:47,299
You're welcome.
542
00:56:55,607 --> 00:56:58,477
Tell us your problem, and
we're going to try and fix it.
543
00:57:10,723 --> 00:57:12,725
Sir, what's your problem?
544
00:57:12,791 --> 00:57:14,093
What about my blood pressure?
545
00:57:17,996 --> 00:57:21,433
She wants to know what's wrong.
546
00:57:21,500 --> 00:57:23,502
I'm old.
547
00:57:40,619 --> 00:57:41,387
Flatulence.
548
00:57:44,889 --> 00:57:45,958
What are you two doing?
549
00:58:04,576 --> 00:58:06,578
Why are you sending my kid
around the neighborhood
550
00:58:06,645 --> 00:58:08,313
to bother people
about what aches them?
551
00:58:08,380 --> 00:58:11,049
These people don't want
to talk about their pain.
552
00:58:11,116 --> 00:58:11,916
I know.
553
00:58:11,984 --> 00:58:14,219
I see it every day.
554
00:58:14,286 --> 00:58:16,422
And stop with the
supernatural Bible stories
555
00:58:16,488 --> 00:58:18,157
that get her asking
questions about
556
00:58:18,223 --> 00:58:20,526
whether or not her father
can come back from the dead.
557
00:58:26,031 --> 00:58:27,399
Where do you think you're going?
558
00:58:27,466 --> 00:58:28,967
I'm going to go get dish soap.
559
00:58:33,972 --> 00:58:35,007
Mend your own family.
560
00:59:22,154 --> 00:59:23,489
All right.
561
00:59:23,555 --> 00:59:28,861
Cathy has had the
hiccups since 1984.
562
00:59:28,928 --> 00:59:30,262
I'm not so sure I believe that.
563
00:59:34,233 --> 00:59:35,467
Grumpy's back...
564
00:59:35,534 --> 00:59:36,936
Mhm.
565
00:59:37,002 --> 00:59:40,672
...his nose hair, and Hollywood
canceled his favorite comedy
566
00:59:40,739 --> 00:59:41,540
show.
567
00:59:41,607 --> 00:59:42,875
Yep.
568
00:59:42,942 --> 00:59:44,610
And Stanley can't hear.
569
00:59:44,676 --> 00:59:46,678
Mhm.
570
00:59:49,615 --> 00:59:51,750
Are you going to tell me
what this was all about?
571
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:59,091
Gonna plant a seed in the garden
for everyone and pray for them.
572
00:59:59,157 --> 01:00:00,526
Well, I want to be on the list.
573
01:00:00,592 --> 01:00:01,293
My knees hurt.
574
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:01,827
OK.
575
01:00:01,894 --> 01:00:04,096
Go for it.
576
01:00:09,768 --> 01:00:11,770
Where's he going?
577
01:00:14,706 --> 01:00:18,577
Lord, bless this
soil and this seed
578
01:00:18,644 --> 01:00:21,948
I offer to You in the name
of my daughter Jeannie.
579
01:00:22,015 --> 01:00:24,449
Heal her heart.
580
01:00:24,516 --> 01:00:26,418
She's my favorite
person in the world.
581
01:00:32,891 --> 01:00:34,159
In the name of Christ, Amen.
582
01:01:15,300 --> 01:01:17,202
You should have a helmet on.
583
01:01:17,269 --> 01:01:18,470
You sound like your mother.
584
01:01:25,210 --> 01:01:26,278
How you doing, honey?
585
01:01:29,247 --> 01:01:32,217
OK, I guess.
586
01:01:32,284 --> 01:01:34,853
Teaching kids keeps me busy.
587
01:01:34,920 --> 01:01:36,755
But you know that.
588
01:01:36,822 --> 01:01:39,491
Kids can fill up a lot
of space in one's mind.
589
01:01:43,829 --> 01:01:44,630
What's with the bike?
590
01:01:50,168 --> 01:01:51,303
The bank took my truck.
591
01:01:55,741 --> 01:01:58,844
You'd still have your
truck if you'd let mom stay
592
01:01:58,910 --> 01:02:02,015
in the hospital longer.
593
01:02:02,081 --> 01:02:04,017
That's not what she wanted.
594
01:02:04,083 --> 01:02:06,218
She was sick, Dad.
595
01:02:06,284 --> 01:02:07,586
She wasn't thinking right.
596
01:02:07,653 --> 01:02:10,389
She had cancer,
Jeannie, not dementia.
597
01:02:10,455 --> 01:02:12,924
She didn't want to
die in a hospital.
598
01:02:12,992 --> 01:02:17,329
She died as she wanted, sitting
in that old chair looking out
599
01:02:17,396 --> 01:02:18,597
over her garden.
600
01:02:18,664 --> 01:02:20,332
She could have lived longer.
601
01:02:20,399 --> 01:02:23,970
Longer? For who?
For us?
602
01:02:24,037 --> 01:02:26,939
It's our job to let
them go as they wish.
603
01:02:27,006 --> 01:02:29,541
Oh, is that what you've done?
604
01:02:29,608 --> 01:02:31,677
Or is she still sitting
on a shelf somewhere?
605
01:02:31,743 --> 01:02:33,745
I'm working on it.
606
01:02:40,352 --> 01:02:41,920
I'm sorry, Dad.
607
01:02:41,988 --> 01:02:42,721
It's just...
608
01:02:42,788 --> 01:02:48,027
No, I'm sorry.
609
01:02:48,094 --> 01:02:49,528
I could have been
a better father.
610
01:02:54,900 --> 01:02:56,268
You're a good dad.
611
01:03:03,943 --> 01:03:05,477
I just hurt so bad.
612
01:03:13,418 --> 01:03:15,988
You have to know
Mom is with Jesus.
613
01:03:18,690 --> 01:03:21,626
I just don't see God working
in my life right now.
614
01:03:25,564 --> 01:03:29,135
It's time to let go.
615
01:03:29,202 --> 01:03:32,038
That may take a miracle.
616
01:03:32,105 --> 01:03:33,672
Maybe the miracle happens after.
617
01:03:40,579 --> 01:03:42,414
You're not riding
home without a helmet.
618
01:03:49,021 --> 01:03:51,124
So that's your garden, huh?
619
01:03:51,190 --> 01:03:58,998
It's just dirt right
now. How's Alan?
620
01:03:59,065 --> 01:04:00,699
He's good.
621
01:04:00,766 --> 01:04:03,435
Working hard.
622
01:04:03,502 --> 01:04:05,704
He likes you.
623
01:04:07,506 --> 01:04:10,375
That's a start.
624
01:04:10,442 --> 01:04:13,478
I like you, most of the time.
625
01:04:21,853 --> 01:04:26,993
I'm going to post a picture of
your garden to the internet.
626
01:04:27,059 --> 01:04:30,762
The internet is witchcraft.
627
01:04:30,829 --> 01:04:34,399
The internet is whatever
you point it at.
628
01:04:34,466 --> 01:04:38,770
I always point it
at something good...
629
01:04:38,837 --> 01:04:41,406
like getting young Christians
to help an old man move.
630
01:04:50,149 --> 01:04:51,449
See you around, Dad.
631
01:05:34,359 --> 01:05:35,861
Oh hey, Santa.
632
01:05:43,269 --> 01:05:45,304
Question.
633
01:05:45,370 --> 01:05:47,572
Sure.
634
01:05:57,582 --> 01:06:00,819
Yeah, I can do that.
635
01:06:00,886 --> 01:06:02,888
Thanks, Chaplain.
636
01:06:06,092 --> 01:06:07,392
Oh, look at it now.
637
01:06:34,586 --> 01:06:36,788
You ready?
638
01:06:36,855 --> 01:06:38,857
Are you?
639
01:07:02,348 --> 01:07:04,549
Now I am.
640
01:08:16,989 --> 01:08:23,628
I baptize you in the name of the
Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
641
01:08:23,695 --> 01:08:26,664
Buried in the
likeness of His death
642
01:08:26,731 --> 01:08:30,668
and raised in the likeness
of His Resurrection
643
01:08:30,735 --> 01:08:31,937
to be a new man.
644
01:10:05,231 --> 01:10:07,266
I brought the people
for the Christmas story.
645
01:10:07,333 --> 01:10:08,334
Did you bring the list?
646
01:10:14,273 --> 01:10:15,640
Stanley's hearing is bad.
647
01:10:27,886 --> 01:10:31,023
Cathy has the hiccups.
648
01:10:31,090 --> 01:10:31,590
Wow.
649
01:10:31,656 --> 01:10:34,859
Since 1984.
650
01:10:34,927 --> 01:10:36,428
Why are we doing this?
651
01:10:36,495 --> 01:10:38,964
And what's this got to do
with the Christmas story?
652
01:10:39,031 --> 01:10:41,733
We're doing this to
plant the Word of God
653
01:10:41,799 --> 01:10:43,536
in people who need it.
654
01:10:43,602 --> 01:10:45,037
The Word?
655
01:10:45,104 --> 01:10:48,407
The Word was with God
and the Word was God.
656
01:10:53,312 --> 01:10:54,180
Just follow along.
657
01:10:58,050 --> 01:11:01,786
A long time ago,
God planted the Word
658
01:11:01,853 --> 01:11:04,023
in a young woman named Mary.
659
01:11:04,089 --> 01:11:07,892
She had a man that then
married her named Joseph.
660
01:11:07,960 --> 01:11:11,729
She told him that an
angel came to visit her
661
01:11:11,796 --> 01:11:14,832
and said she would give
birth to the Son of God.
662
01:11:14,899 --> 01:11:17,036
It was hard for him
to believe at first,
663
01:11:17,102 --> 01:11:20,172
until an angel came to
him and told him so.
664
01:11:20,239 --> 01:11:24,876
So Joseph committed himself
to Mary as her husband.
665
01:11:24,944 --> 01:11:26,811
Norm's spirit is failing.
666
01:11:26,878 --> 01:11:29,148
Oh, he can't have that.
667
01:11:33,953 --> 01:11:38,657
So when it came time
for Mary to give birth,
668
01:11:38,723 --> 01:11:40,993
it happened to fall
at the same time
669
01:11:41,060 --> 01:11:42,528
that the government
wanted people
670
01:11:42,595 --> 01:11:44,597
to be counted by
where they lived.
671
01:11:44,663 --> 01:11:48,634
Mary and Joseph had to travel
to Bethlehem to be counted.
672
01:11:48,701 --> 01:11:51,270
It was a long hard trip.
673
01:11:51,337 --> 01:11:54,306
And when they reached the
town, all the hotels were full.
674
01:11:54,373 --> 01:11:56,709
There was nowhere
for them to stay.
675
01:11:56,774 --> 01:11:58,577
Why didn't someone help them?
676
01:11:58,644 --> 01:12:00,079
Well, someone finally did.
677
01:12:00,145 --> 01:12:02,615
Some people felt bad for
them and offered them a barn
678
01:12:02,681 --> 01:12:03,881
to stay in.
679
01:12:03,949 --> 01:12:05,917
The Son of God was
born in a barn?
680
01:12:05,985 --> 01:12:08,053
Yep.
681
01:12:08,120 --> 01:12:10,723
But Mary and Joseph
were very thankful
682
01:12:10,788 --> 01:12:12,157
that they had a place to stay.
683
01:12:17,795 --> 01:12:18,931
It's for my mom.
684
01:12:22,968 --> 01:12:24,503
You are a good person.
685
01:12:28,274 --> 01:12:32,910
That night, shepherds visited
the baby, and later a star
686
01:12:32,978 --> 01:12:35,681
guided three wise men from
the East to see the baby
687
01:12:35,748 --> 01:12:41,353
Jesus, the King of kings, the
One who would save the world.
688
01:12:41,420 --> 01:12:43,455
Why did the world
need to be saved?
689
01:12:43,522 --> 01:12:46,292
Because of the first sin, hello.
690
01:12:46,358 --> 01:12:51,196
The fruit that Eve ate with
Adam standing right there.
691
01:12:51,263 --> 01:12:53,831
Hello.
692
01:12:53,898 --> 01:12:55,601
Exactly.
693
01:12:55,668 --> 01:13:00,172
That baby would grow up to
be Jesus Christ, the greatest
694
01:13:00,239 --> 01:13:06,512
Teacher of love and the
Savior to the lost and broken.
695
01:13:06,578 --> 01:13:08,347
This is from Carl.
696
01:13:08,414 --> 01:13:10,282
He has a bad knee.
697
01:13:10,349 --> 01:13:13,918
Dear God, say yes
to Carl's knee.
698
01:13:16,921 --> 01:13:22,628
Some people rejected Jesus, so
they hung Him on a dead tree
699
01:13:22,695 --> 01:13:24,363
until He died.
700
01:13:24,430 --> 01:13:28,334
However, before He died,
He told His followers
701
01:13:28,400 --> 01:13:31,503
He would rise three days later.
702
01:13:31,570 --> 01:13:33,205
And he did.
703
01:13:33,272 --> 01:13:36,508
He's the only man who's
ever beaten death.
704
01:13:36,575 --> 01:13:38,077
That's right.
705
01:13:38,143 --> 01:13:40,446
But he's a man that can
guide you through this life.
706
01:13:52,491 --> 01:13:54,293
Are you ever going to
tell me why Christmas
707
01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:55,627
isn't about getting presents?
708
01:13:58,964 --> 01:14:01,866
The reason we give
gifts at Christmas
709
01:14:01,934 --> 01:14:04,203
comes from the story
of the wise men...
710
01:14:04,269 --> 01:14:04,803
Oh, good.
711
01:14:04,869 --> 01:14:06,205
Another story.
712
01:14:06,271 --> 01:14:09,241
...who traveled a
long hard journey
713
01:14:09,308 --> 01:14:13,178
in order to present Christ
with gifts to honor him.
714
01:14:13,245 --> 01:14:15,481
Giving gifts is
a symbol of love.
715
01:14:15,547 --> 01:14:19,551
During Christmas, it remind
us of the gift of Christ
716
01:14:19,618 --> 01:14:23,956
and our need to give that
gift of love to others.
717
01:14:24,022 --> 01:14:25,923
That's why Christmas
should be every day.
718
01:14:25,991 --> 01:14:27,559
Yes.
719
01:14:27,626 --> 01:14:32,998
People should behave like every
day is Christmas, including me.
720
01:14:44,977 --> 01:14:47,546
Baby Jesus is still missing.
721
01:14:47,613 --> 01:14:48,447
No, it's not.
722
01:14:52,718 --> 01:14:53,552
Merry Christmas.
723
01:15:02,060 --> 01:15:04,129
Merry Christmas to you!
724
01:15:11,170 --> 01:15:12,638
I wish we had power
to light it up.
725
01:15:16,675 --> 01:15:19,378
What now?
726
01:15:19,445 --> 01:15:21,046
We pray for the healing garden.
727
01:15:23,749 --> 01:15:25,951
Here.
728
01:15:33,592 --> 01:15:35,627
How do you pray?
729
01:15:35,694 --> 01:15:38,330
Jesus told us how to pray.
730
01:15:38,397 --> 01:15:39,665
Open it to the red tag.
731
01:15:49,675 --> 01:15:52,478
Read the part
highlighted in red.
732
01:15:52,544 --> 01:15:59,685
"Our Father, who art
in heaven, hallowed?
733
01:15:59,751 --> 01:16:03,322
...be thy name, thy
kingdom come, thy
734
01:16:03,388 --> 01:16:06,258
will be done on earth
as it is in heaven.
735
01:16:06,325 --> 01:16:08,994
Give us this day
our daily bread,
736
01:16:09,061 --> 01:16:16,068
and forgive us our
trespasses as we forgive
737
01:16:16,134 --> 01:16:20,806
those who trespass
against us, and lead us
738
01:16:20,873 --> 01:16:27,312
not into temptation, but
deliver us from evil."
739
01:16:27,379 --> 01:16:28,982
Amen
740
01:16:29,047 --> 01:16:30,749
What does it mean?
741
01:16:30,816 --> 01:16:36,788
It means, show me, God,
how to want what you want.
742
01:16:45,999 --> 01:16:48,066
What are these two doing now?
743
01:16:49,067 --> 01:16:51,770
Come on, honey!
It's dinner!
744
01:16:55,874 --> 01:16:57,175
Hi, Eddie.
745
01:16:57,242 --> 01:16:58,877
Ho, ho, ho!
746
01:16:58,945 --> 01:16:59,678
Very funny.
747
01:20:47,140 --> 01:20:49,242
Morning, Eddie!
748
01:20:49,307 --> 01:20:51,510
Good morning!
749
01:20:58,251 --> 01:21:00,452
Yes!
750
01:21:52,337 --> 01:21:53,438
Holy-moly!
751
01:22:02,747 --> 01:22:04,783
It's a Christmas miracle.
752
01:22:04,850 --> 01:22:09,487
And it's not even Christmas.
753
01:22:09,554 --> 01:22:10,655
It is now.
754
01:22:30,109 --> 01:22:31,043
It's a miracle!
755
01:22:31,110 --> 01:22:32,611
Come see a miracle!
756
01:22:37,083 --> 01:22:38,317
Merry Christmas, everyone!
757
01:22:38,383 --> 01:22:39,885
Merry Christmas!
758
01:22:39,952 --> 01:22:42,721
Come to the field and see
it's a Christmas miracle!
759
01:22:42,787 --> 01:22:44,123
Merry Christmas, everyone!
760
01:22:44,190 --> 01:22:45,690
Merry Christmas!
761
01:22:45,757 --> 01:22:48,027
Come to the field and see
it's a Christmas miracle!
762
01:22:48,094 --> 01:22:49,295
Merry Christmas, everyone!
763
01:22:49,362 --> 01:22:50,862
Merry Christmas!
764
01:22:50,930 --> 01:22:54,766
Come to the field and see
it's a Christmas miracle!
765
01:22:54,833 --> 01:22:58,770
Come to the field and see
it's a Christmas miracle!
766
01:22:58,837 --> 01:23:00,940
Merry Christmas, everyone!
767
01:23:01,007 --> 01:23:02,507
Merry Christmas!
768
01:23:14,954 --> 01:23:16,322
Hey!
769
01:23:16,389 --> 01:23:18,224
People on the
internet are trying
770
01:23:18,291 --> 01:23:20,525
to get my TV show back on.
771
01:23:20,592 --> 01:23:23,862
And I think my nose hairs
have stopped growing.
772
01:23:23,930 --> 01:23:25,364
Great!
773
01:23:25,430 --> 01:23:26,431
I'm happy for you.
774
01:23:40,079 --> 01:23:41,147
I got nothing.
775
01:23:44,649 --> 01:23:46,252
They're real!
776
01:23:46,319 --> 01:23:48,187
How did you do that?
777
01:23:48,254 --> 01:23:50,156
It's an act of God.
778
01:23:50,222 --> 01:23:52,158
He still works.
779
01:23:52,224 --> 01:23:55,460
But you know that.
780
01:23:55,527 --> 01:23:57,862
I owe you an apology.
781
01:23:57,930 --> 01:23:59,531
For what?
782
01:23:59,597 --> 01:24:02,134
I never asked you what
your wife was like.
783
01:24:06,172 --> 01:24:07,006
You're looking at her.
784
01:24:11,210 --> 01:24:15,114
You did those
Marines right, sir.
785
01:24:15,181 --> 01:24:16,315
Ouch.
786
01:24:16,382 --> 01:24:17,149
Did you tell him?
787
01:24:17,216 --> 01:24:18,150
Did you tell him?
788
01:24:18,217 --> 01:24:20,719
Tell me what?
789
01:24:20,785 --> 01:24:23,222
I'm going to get
her a proper ring.
790
01:24:23,289 --> 01:24:25,157
I'm proud of you.
791
01:24:25,224 --> 01:24:25,924
Yeah!
792
01:24:25,992 --> 01:24:27,792
You better!
793
01:24:28,928 --> 01:24:29,828
OK.
794
01:24:29,894 --> 01:24:32,465
OK.
795
01:24:36,235 --> 01:24:37,136
Yes. Yes!
796
01:24:37,203 --> 01:24:38,170
Yes!
797
01:24:38,237 --> 01:24:40,505
Let's have Christmas dinner!
798
01:25:16,409 --> 01:25:20,012
You must have run across
the entire state of Colorado
799
01:25:20,079 --> 01:25:25,217
yelling Merry Christmas to
get all these people here.
800
01:25:25,284 --> 01:25:27,652
It was on the internet.
801
01:25:27,719 --> 01:25:30,122
You shouldn't be
on the internet.
802
01:25:32,258 --> 01:25:34,460
It wasn't me.
803
01:25:34,527 --> 01:25:35,294
It was her.
804
01:25:44,070 --> 01:25:46,138
You did a great thing
for these people, dad.
805
01:25:50,509 --> 01:25:51,743
I did it to let your mom go.
806
01:25:57,249 --> 01:25:59,584
Let's eat!
807
01:25:59,651 --> 01:26:01,753
We should pray first.
808
01:26:05,391 --> 01:26:06,492
Just be honest.
809
01:26:06,559 --> 01:26:07,692
Say what's in your heart.
810
01:26:20,139 --> 01:26:26,579
God, thank you for making
those seeds grow into flowers
811
01:26:26,644 --> 01:26:27,879
so today can feel special.
812
01:26:31,584 --> 01:26:32,717
Thank you for Baby Jesus.
813
01:26:35,787 --> 01:26:39,291
I know Christmas isn't
about getting presents,
814
01:26:39,358 --> 01:26:42,328
but I see someone
brought chocolate cake...
815
01:26:43,661 --> 01:26:45,797
...so that's kind
of like a present.
816
01:26:45,864 --> 01:26:47,665
So thank you for that, too.
817
01:26:50,236 --> 01:26:58,511
But most of all, God, show
us how to want what you want.
818
01:26:58,577 --> 01:26:59,278
Amen.
819
01:26:59,345 --> 01:27:02,281
Amen.
820
01:27:28,340 --> 01:27:29,341
No, no, no.
821
01:27:29,408 --> 01:27:30,209
Nobody wants to hear me sing.
822
01:27:30,276 --> 01:27:32,278
Yes, we do!
823
01:27:34,113 --> 01:27:35,314
I don't know what to sing.
824
01:27:40,619 --> 01:27:41,886
OK.
825
01:27:41,954 --> 01:27:43,922
But I only know
one Christmas song.
826
01:27:43,989 --> 01:27:45,658
It's not Christmas.
827
01:27:45,723 --> 01:27:47,993
Yes, it is!
828
01:27:48,060 --> 01:27:49,995
[SINGING] Deck the
hall with boughs
829
01:27:50,062 --> 01:27:54,567
of holly, fala lala la lala la.
830
01:27:54,633 --> 01:28:01,006
'Tis the season to be jolly
fala lala la lala la la.
831
01:28:01,073 --> 01:28:07,613
Don we know our gay apparel,
fala la lala la la la la.
832
01:28:07,680 --> 01:28:13,751
Troll the ancient Yuletide
carol, fala lala la lala la la.
833
01:28:21,560 --> 01:28:22,860
I want you to have this.
834
01:28:27,266 --> 01:28:29,535
There are so many important
stories in this book
835
01:28:29,602 --> 01:28:32,104
that you need to learn.
836
01:28:32,171 --> 01:28:34,073
Thank you.
837
01:28:35,207 --> 01:28:37,943
It's the road map
to a better life.
838
01:28:38,010 --> 01:28:41,347
It's been proven to work.
839
01:28:41,413 --> 01:28:42,348
Read it every day.
840
01:28:45,284 --> 01:28:46,818
That way, I'll see you again.
841
01:28:53,592 --> 01:28:56,262
What do you mean?
842
01:28:56,328 --> 01:29:00,099
Kid, it's time for
me to meet the Jesus
843
01:29:00,165 --> 01:29:02,501
I bumped into long ago.
844
01:29:02,568 --> 01:29:04,036
I'm going to get help!
845
01:29:04,103 --> 01:29:06,105
No.
846
01:29:09,241 --> 01:29:10,442
I want to be with my wife.
847
01:29:15,481 --> 01:29:17,383
[inaudible] but...
848
01:29:17,449 --> 01:29:20,286
It's OK.
849
01:29:20,352 --> 01:29:21,420
It's all right.
850
01:29:31,664 --> 01:29:32,864
Of course.
851
01:29:32,931 --> 01:29:34,866
The knot.
852
01:29:34,933 --> 01:29:36,101
What?
853
01:29:36,168 --> 01:29:38,604
The knot in the tree.
854
01:29:38,671 --> 01:29:40,872
What about it?
855
01:29:42,107 --> 01:29:43,208
Plug the chord into it.
856
01:34:26,525 --> 01:34:28,193
I can't wait for the sequel!
857
01:34:31,030 --> 01:34:32,464
No.
858
01:35:27,452 --> 01:35:32,452
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