1 00:00:29,020 --> 00:00:30,810 [sirens blaring] 2 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:41,720 [thunder rumbling] 3 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:17,100 [tablet chimes] 4 00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:18,470 Before you say anything, I'm not your brother. 5 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:19,640 I'm your half-brother. 6 00:01:19,720 --> 00:01:20,970 What was that? 7 00:01:21,060 --> 00:01:22,970 Why would you begin a conversation like that? 8 00:01:23,060 --> 00:01:25,020 Because you are about to ask me for money, 9 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,680 and when I always say, "Why should I give you money?" 10 00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:29,430 You always say, "Because I am your brother," 11 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,220 and I never point out you are my half-brother. 12 00:01:31,310 --> 00:01:33,220 I never say it. But things happening around here lately... 13 00:01:33,310 --> 00:01:36,060 Hi, Paxton. How are your erratic head movements? 14 00:01:36,140 --> 00:01:37,680 I ask because I read an article. 15 00:01:37,770 --> 00:01:40,140 Yeah, they're under control. 16 00:01:40,220 --> 00:01:44,020 How's the, uh, cement art work? 17 00:01:44,100 --> 00:01:47,220 She just sold a piece for $50,000. 18 00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:48,520 A frozen waterfall. 19 00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:50,350 It felt appropriate for the times. 20 00:01:50,430 --> 00:01:52,350 How is it appropriate for the times? 21 00:01:52,430 --> 00:01:53,850 You know what? It doesn't matter. 22 00:01:53,930 --> 00:01:56,470 I was actually calling to see how you were. 23 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:58,220 'Cause I heard it's bad in New York. 24 00:01:58,310 --> 00:02:01,350 It is bad. They canceled the NBA. 25 00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:04,430 We heard London's under total lockdown. 26 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,100 I've been furloughed by the way. 27 00:02:07,180 --> 00:02:08,680 - [David] That's great! - Yeah. 28 00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,390 Now there is literally zero purpose to my life. 29 00:02:12,310 --> 00:02:13,770 How is Linda? 30 00:02:13,850 --> 00:02:17,930 Yeah, she's somewhere in the house. 31 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:19,720 Is there some type of issue? 32 00:02:19,810 --> 00:02:22,560 Is there an issue? Let me see. 33 00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,020 Convenient lie to avoid forensic examination 34 00:02:25,100 --> 00:02:27,270 of our domestic circumstances or tell the truth? 35 00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:28,640 Okay, convenient lie. 36 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:31,520 No. There is no issue. We are fine. 37 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:32,930 Can you tell her I'm gonna Skype her? 38 00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:34,850 Also, David, I've sold my motorbike. 39 00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:36,060 You've what? 40 00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:37,390 Yeah, I have a buyer. He'll pay me 41 00:02:37,470 --> 00:02:38,890 when we are all unlocked 42 00:02:38,970 --> 00:02:42,140 from this fucking prison of psychological hell-chains. 43 00:02:42,220 --> 00:02:44,390 Fucking flames of burning aloneness. 44 00:02:44,470 --> 00:02:46,270 The screw of isolation until you can't tell 45 00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:48,850 what is your body and what is furniture. 46 00:02:48,930 --> 00:02:50,600 No possibility of revving the engine 47 00:02:50,680 --> 00:02:53,930 and riding away. Am I conveying anything of my mood to you? 48 00:02:55,020 --> 00:02:56,390 Why have you sold your bike? 49 00:02:56,470 --> 00:02:58,020 You are your bike. Your bike is you. 50 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:00,060 Yeah, I have sold myself. 51 00:03:00,140 --> 00:03:03,100 I have sold my former self. 52 00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:04,640 I felt sorry for the bike. 53 00:03:04,720 --> 00:03:07,770 It deserved someone who can do justice to its spirit. 54 00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:11,430 Someone who still breaks the fucking rules. 55 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,770 So, you and Linda, what, you had a fight? 56 00:03:13,850 --> 00:03:17,810 Linda said she was planning to end our thing, 57 00:03:17,890 --> 00:03:22,470 our relationship, our whatever this ever was, 58 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:23,970 because we'd grown apart, 59 00:03:24,060 --> 00:03:26,890 meaning that she had gone up and I have gone down. 60 00:03:26,970 --> 00:03:29,470 She was planning to end it before lockdown was announced. 61 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:30,810 [tablet beeping] 62 00:03:30,890 --> 00:03:34,810 ...droplets and moisture because we were shouting. 63 00:03:34,890 --> 00:03:37,020 I said some things and she said some things 64 00:03:37,100 --> 00:03:39,060 and now we are stuck here together 65 00:03:39,140 --> 00:03:40,560 with the things we said 66 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,430 echoing around the house like fucking bells ringing. 67 00:03:46,770 --> 00:03:49,270 For two weeks we are locked together here. 68 00:03:50,140 --> 00:03:51,890 [doorbell ringing] 69 00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:56,140 Anyway. Truth be told, I just wanted to hear someone's voice. 70 00:03:56,220 --> 00:03:59,390 - And you chose us? - Yeah, why not? 71 00:03:59,470 --> 00:04:00,970 What happened to Mike? Your friend Mike. 72 00:04:01,060 --> 00:04:03,850 Oh, no, no. Mike and I are no longer speaking. 73 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:05,560 He crossed... My delivery! 74 00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:09,060 Crossed an important threshold when, uh, when he said that 75 00:04:09,140 --> 00:04:11,270 the COVID virus was the consequence 76 00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:15,350 of the secret release by Jews of alien DNA 77 00:04:15,430 --> 00:04:17,810 into the water sprinkling system 78 00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:20,220 of a Chinese golf resort. 79 00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:22,060 [Maria] It looks like your food has arrived, 80 00:04:22,140 --> 00:04:24,350 - so we'll let you go. - It's not food, it's a sandwich. 81 00:04:24,430 --> 00:04:26,180 Yeah, hang in, brother. 82 00:04:26,270 --> 00:04:28,350 - Half-brother. - [Maria] Tell Linda I'm gonna call her. 83 00:04:28,430 --> 00:04:31,020 Yeah, I'll leave her a note. Just to compound the oddness. 84 00:04:31,100 --> 00:04:32,720 [tablet beeps] 85 00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:35,390 [man on TV] The stark reality of fighting Coronavirus... 86 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,930 ...Trafalgar Square in London usually crowded. 87 00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:46,850 Evidence of social distancing in action. 88 00:04:46,930 --> 00:04:48,850 In this critically important time, 89 00:04:48,930 --> 00:04:52,310 the Prime Minister Boris Johnson himself infected, 90 00:04:52,390 --> 00:04:53,310 but been sharing... 91 00:04:53,390 --> 00:04:54,890 [muffled screaming] 92 00:04:57,310 --> 00:04:58,520 [sighs] 93 00:05:00,810 --> 00:05:02,390 [Skype ringtone] 94 00:05:14,850 --> 00:05:17,430 Maria, hey! Is everything okay? 95 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:19,180 Oh, yeah, yeah. Everything's great. 96 00:05:19,270 --> 00:05:21,430 You know, we're staying strong. Yeah, we just talked to Paxton. 97 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:25,560 Hmm. Yes, I head. Some of it. I put a pillow over my head. 98 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:28,060 He said you had symptoms. 99 00:05:28,140 --> 00:05:31,220 It passed I think. I hope. I don't know. 100 00:05:31,310 --> 00:05:34,810 Oh, green smoothie. You must send me that recipe. 101 00:05:34,890 --> 00:05:36,430 It's not a recipe, it's an action. 102 00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:39,270 You just put the green stuff in and press the on button. 103 00:05:39,350 --> 00:05:41,060 How are things with you and Paxton? 104 00:05:41,140 --> 00:05:42,310 Is everything okay? 105 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:46,060 You know everything is not okay. 106 00:05:46,140 --> 00:05:47,930 Not only is everything not okay, 107 00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:49,390 nothing is okay. 108 00:05:49,470 --> 00:05:51,600 Everything is never okay. Even his name is not okay. 109 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:55,140 This is him speaking. He says even his name is a predictor of doom. 110 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:56,890 That's how he is lately. 111 00:05:58,180 --> 00:06:00,350 [sighs] He's changed so much. 112 00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,770 Oh, we all change. 113 00:06:01,850 --> 00:06:03,970 I mean, Linda, you've evolved, he's mutated. 114 00:06:04,060 --> 00:06:05,770 He needs some help. 115 00:06:05,850 --> 00:06:07,470 - I read an article... - Do you know he said the other day 116 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:10,640 that any man over 35 who rides a bus is a failure? 117 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,180 -He rides the bus every day. Or he used to. -[Maria talking indistinctly] 118 00:06:13,270 --> 00:06:16,100 - He does it to torture himself. - No man is ever really fully conscious, not really. 119 00:06:16,180 --> 00:06:17,970 So, I heard he's selling his motorbike. 120 00:06:18,060 --> 00:06:19,350 That's a big step. 121 00:06:19,430 --> 00:06:21,220 Yeah, we both agreed that he needed some time, 122 00:06:21,310 --> 00:06:23,310 so he's planning on using the money from selling the bike 123 00:06:23,390 --> 00:06:25,140 to go to Kazakhstan to think about his life. 124 00:06:25,220 --> 00:06:26,810 Why Kazakhstan? 125 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:31,680 We went on a road trip there ten years ago. 126 00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,970 Ten years ago? A million years ago. 127 00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:37,640 Anyway, now he is stuck here, and I am stuck here. 128 00:06:37,720 --> 00:06:41,140 - Linda, is there someone else? - Nope, just me and him. 129 00:06:41,220 --> 00:06:43,560 No, I mean, like, another man. 130 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,680 - No. - A woman? 131 00:06:46,810 --> 00:06:47,850 What? 132 00:06:47,930 --> 00:06:50,060 I was just speculating. 133 00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:52,970 Thinking about that night we came to London and you and I went too far. 134 00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:57,310 Oh, that was just weed and curiosity. 135 00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:59,350 We both had orgasms, Linda. 136 00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:01,850 You know they say these calls aren't really the most secure. 137 00:07:01,930 --> 00:07:04,060 I think about that night sometimes. 138 00:07:04,140 --> 00:07:06,100 - You do? - Yeah, don't you? 139 00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:09,270 Mmm... Listen, Maria, I've been on Skype and Zoom calls all day. 140 00:07:09,350 --> 00:07:11,680 The office is locked down. I really gotta get some sleep. 141 00:07:11,770 --> 00:07:13,430 - Okay, bye. - Bye. 142 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,390 - I love you. - What? 143 00:07:23,390 --> 00:07:24,850 - God. - [door slams] 144 00:07:38,350 --> 00:07:40,310 Paxton, are you going somewhere? 145 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:42,810 Where would I be going? 146 00:07:42,890 --> 00:07:45,220 Why is the hose in your exhaust? 147 00:07:45,310 --> 00:07:46,970 [laughing] 148 00:07:47,060 --> 00:07:48,810 I was just gonna take a selfie. 149 00:07:48,890 --> 00:07:50,890 Someone at work texted me and asked how I was 150 00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:52,140 coping with lockdown. 151 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:53,720 So I was gonna send a photo of myself 152 00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:55,930 with the hose shoved up my helmet by way of reply. 153 00:07:56,020 --> 00:07:58,140 I thought it'd be funny. [laughs] 154 00:07:58,220 --> 00:08:00,810 An amusing expression of despair. 155 00:08:00,890 --> 00:08:03,430 You were really just gonna take a selfie? 156 00:08:03,520 --> 00:08:05,140 Yeah, I had the phone in my hand. 157 00:08:05,220 --> 00:08:06,560 You weren't gonna start the engine? 158 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:08,520 And go where? You can't go anywhere. 159 00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:15,270 I came in here and I could smell the garage and the bike. 160 00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:20,220 And the smell... it made me very sad for some reason. 161 00:08:20,310 --> 00:08:24,020 That shelf's covered in oil, you're gonna get your ass covered in oil. 162 00:08:24,100 --> 00:08:26,470 - Jesus, what a day! - Bad? 163 00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:30,350 No, just work. I had some bad news. 164 00:08:30,430 --> 00:08:33,060 Nothing compared to... everything. 165 00:08:33,140 --> 00:08:35,220 I really was just gonna take a selfie, by the way. 166 00:08:35,310 --> 00:08:37,680 "By the way," "just so you know," "in case you were worried." 167 00:08:37,770 --> 00:08:40,220 Just... just a little game. 168 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,060 Or a rehearsal. 169 00:08:44,850 --> 00:08:47,930 I'm not... Please don't think I'm looking for anything. 170 00:08:48,020 --> 00:08:50,600 You know Maria just called me and said that she loves me? 171 00:08:50,680 --> 00:08:51,930 - What? - I know. 172 00:08:52,020 --> 00:08:53,520 Secrets coming out all over the place. 173 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,060 You got the key to get back in? 174 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,470 - No. - I'll leave the door open for you. 175 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,850 What's wrong? 176 00:09:24,430 --> 00:09:27,310 You playing with the hoses and exhausts 177 00:09:27,390 --> 00:09:30,020 and we carry on as if everything was normal. 178 00:09:32,890 --> 00:09:35,060 I'm not normal lately, I know that. 179 00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:39,890 I haven't been sleeping at all. 180 00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:43,640 I've never been normal, but... 181 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,890 I used to be quite proud of it. Now, I just... 182 00:09:47,270 --> 00:09:48,810 - Just what? - I don't know. 183 00:09:48,890 --> 00:09:52,930 I'm just acutely aware of the inconvenience it causes. 184 00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:55,720 My super analysis of every grain of sand. 185 00:09:56,390 --> 00:09:57,850 Every word. 186 00:09:59,180 --> 00:10:02,350 Being locked up is making it worse. 187 00:10:02,430 --> 00:10:04,850 We have to find some way of getting through this separately. 188 00:10:04,930 --> 00:10:06,810 We're only together because we're in the same house. 189 00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:10,970 We can sort of move around each other until we're free... 190 00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:13,140 - What? What is it? - Oh, nothing. [clears throat] 191 00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:15,680 Good night. 192 00:10:15,770 --> 00:10:17,310 It's a bit of Christmas decoration. 193 00:10:17,390 --> 00:10:19,720 It's been there since Christmas. 194 00:10:19,810 --> 00:10:21,850 My therapist says I should try to tolerate it. 195 00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:23,520 To use it as a test. 196 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,970 Up until now, I've been able to live with it, 197 00:10:25,060 --> 00:10:26,890 as a test to prove my progress. 198 00:10:26,970 --> 00:10:28,890 Well, fuck progress. 199 00:10:28,970 --> 00:10:31,100 - Why don't you take it down? - No, my therapist says... 200 00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:34,310 - Fuck the therapist. Paxton... - You almost did. 201 00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:35,850 Grow up. Take it down. 202 00:10:35,930 --> 00:10:37,470 If it bothers you, take it down, okay? 203 00:10:37,560 --> 00:10:39,720 Christmas is not exactly a great memory anyway, is it? 204 00:10:39,810 --> 00:10:42,060 Christmas is not a great memory. I agree with you. 205 00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:45,310 Beginning of the end for us, don't you think? 206 00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:47,100 That was way before Christmas for me. 207 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,310 Sorry. 208 00:10:52,390 --> 00:10:54,560 Why do people think honesty is good? 209 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,640 What are you doing about therapy anyway? 210 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,470 I'm doing it on Zoom. 211 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,890 - My therapist has antlers on his wall. - [laughs] 212 00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:07,100 These are extraordinary circumstances, Paxton. 213 00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:08,770 You can't live with a woman who has dumped you 214 00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:10,600 and a piece of tinsel on the ceiling. 215 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,350 - Have we decided to laugh about all this? - Why not? 216 00:11:13,430 --> 00:11:14,930 Nothing else we can do there, is there? 217 00:11:15,020 --> 00:11:16,180 Do you want a chair? 218 00:11:17,180 --> 00:11:18,680 Sure. 219 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,140 [grunts] 220 00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:26,350 - [Paxton chuckles] - [claps] 221 00:11:26,430 --> 00:11:28,270 Bravo. 222 00:11:28,350 --> 00:11:30,350 - Fuck! That's better. - Hang on. 223 00:11:37,220 --> 00:11:39,890 You know, when I saw you in the garage I thought... 224 00:11:41,680 --> 00:11:44,890 "Was it really me on the back of your bike all those years ago?" 225 00:11:46,390 --> 00:11:47,720 Yeah, it was you. 226 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,640 Hanging on and screaming. 227 00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,270 Well, that's what I'm doing now. 228 00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:56,930 Hanging on and screaming, but you can't hear me. 229 00:11:57,020 --> 00:11:58,890 Nobody can. Anyway, good night. 230 00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:02,470 Screaming about what? 231 00:12:02,560 --> 00:12:06,850 What are you screaming about? I'm the one that's screaming! 232 00:12:24,220 --> 00:12:25,310 [woman] Hello, stranger! 233 00:12:28,020 --> 00:12:30,720 - [Linda] Hi. - How are you? 234 00:12:31,850 --> 00:12:33,890 [Linda] Terrible. You? 235 00:12:34,350 --> 00:12:35,470 Awful. 236 00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:43,470 [Paxton] Hello! 237 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:47,390 Does anyone here in our lovely Portland Street prison want to hear a little poem? 238 00:12:48,470 --> 00:12:50,390 I read a lot of poetry 239 00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:53,720 and I've read even more lately 'cause I can't sleep. 240 00:12:53,810 --> 00:12:55,640 It's actually quite a nice way to discover 241 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,020 that you're not the only human being on earth who's fucked up. 242 00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,270 [Linda] Paxton! 243 00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:02,350 What the fuck are you doing? 244 00:13:02,430 --> 00:13:04,640 [Paxton] I'm entertaining our fellow inmates. 245 00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:08,680 This poem is called Stand Up! 246 00:13:08,770 --> 00:13:10,560 It's by D.H. Lawrence, by the way. 247 00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,600 "By the way," "just so you know," "in case you were worried." 248 00:13:15,180 --> 00:13:16,430 All right, here goes. 249 00:13:17,390 --> 00:13:20,470 "Stand up, but not for Jesus!" 250 00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:23,350 It's a little late for that. 251 00:13:23,430 --> 00:13:25,890 Stand up for justice and a jolly life. 252 00:13:25,970 --> 00:13:27,520 I'll hold your hat. 253 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:32,470 Stand up, stand up for justice, ye swindled little blokes! 254 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:36,890 Stand up and do some punching, give 'em a few hard pokes. 255 00:13:36,970 --> 00:13:42,470 Stand up for a new arrangement for a chance of life all round, 256 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:46,640 for freedom and the fun of living, 257 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:49,140 "break in, and hold the ground!" 258 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,430 - [people clapping] - [chuckles] 259 00:13:53,970 --> 00:13:55,180 Thank you. 260 00:13:55,270 --> 00:13:57,600 Sorry if I woke you. 261 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,180 But I am going slightly mad lately. 262 00:14:01,310 --> 00:14:04,180 My advice to everyone 263 00:14:04,270 --> 00:14:06,930 is to use these strange times we're all going through 264 00:14:07,020 --> 00:14:10,060 to steal all the things that you think life owes you. 265 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:11,770 [man] Go to sleep, you bloody tosser! 266 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:13,350 Yeah, well, if I could I would. 267 00:14:13,430 --> 00:14:15,020 [man] Hey, leave him be, mate! 268 00:14:15,100 --> 00:14:17,850 And if I come across any other good poems, I'll share it. 269 00:14:17,930 --> 00:14:19,600 [woman] We love it! 270 00:14:19,680 --> 00:14:20,970 Good night, Portland Street. 271 00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:22,390 [man] Night, night! 272 00:14:22,470 --> 00:14:23,890 [woman] Thank you! 273 00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,930 [grunts] 274 00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:40,890 God, please let me sleep. 275 00:14:43,720 --> 00:14:44,930 [glass shatters] 276 00:14:45,020 --> 00:14:47,060 [indistinct conversation] 277 00:14:59,890 --> 00:15:01,350 [girl] I swear to God! 278 00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,890 What the fuck are you doing in my garden? 279 00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:06,640 You all right? 280 00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:09,390 - We're just gathering these. - They're just poppies. 281 00:15:09,470 --> 00:15:10,930 They're bulbs of poppies. 282 00:15:11,020 --> 00:15:12,770 All the dealers in our estate have been arrested, 283 00:15:12,850 --> 00:15:16,060 because they're the only people out on the streets, innit? 284 00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:19,430 With these poppy bulbs, you can make a sort of opium. 285 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:21,520 You just slit the skins and juice comes out. 286 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:23,850 How did you know they were here? 287 00:15:23,930 --> 00:15:26,470 We live in that tower block up there, bro. 288 00:15:26,560 --> 00:15:29,270 Friend of ours has a telescope. He's into stars and shit. 289 00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:31,520 We've been looking down on houses for a laugh. 290 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:35,430 Looking through windows and then we saw all these growing in your garden. 291 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:38,060 What the fuck are they all doing growing in my garden? 292 00:15:38,140 --> 00:15:41,020 [girl] I think hippies used to squat in these houses in the '70s. 293 00:15:41,100 --> 00:15:43,810 I think they grew them and they just went wild. 294 00:15:43,890 --> 00:15:45,640 How do you refine the juice? 295 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,640 You don't. You just drip it onto tobacco and then smoke it. 296 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:51,520 Or you can mix it with Coca-Cola if you want and drink it. 297 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:55,060 Yeah, well, I don't smoke anymore or drink Coca-Cola, 298 00:15:55,140 --> 00:15:57,350 or do drugs of any kind, 299 00:15:57,430 --> 00:16:02,560 but back in the bad old days I did smoke quite a lot of heroin. 300 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,140 This is not as strong as heroin. 301 00:16:04,220 --> 00:16:06,720 It's quite a gentle hit. 302 00:16:06,810 --> 00:16:08,140 - It's organic, bro. - Organic? 303 00:16:08,220 --> 00:16:09,770 Yeah. 304 00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,350 That would explain the hedgehog. 305 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:17,180 [laughs] There's a hedgehog in this garden who is unusually friendly and relaxed. 306 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:27,390 Would a very small amount help you sleep, do you think? 307 00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:30,520 [boy] You sleep like a baby. Smooths everything out. 308 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:33,640 - No mean voices in the night. - No mean voices in the night. 309 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:37,140 That would be nice. Well, well, well. 310 00:16:44,020 --> 00:16:45,430 [snores] 311 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:51,970 [alarm beeping] 312 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,470 [alarm beeping] 313 00:17:09,930 --> 00:17:11,020 [groans] 314 00:17:18,020 --> 00:17:19,350 Paxton! 315 00:17:22,470 --> 00:17:24,140 [groans] 316 00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:35,560 [alarm continues beeping] 317 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:41,350 Paxton, for fuck's sake! 318 00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,350 [alarm continues] 319 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:56,680 [exhales] 320 00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,470 [laptop chimes] 321 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,060 Hey, Toby! 322 00:18:07,140 --> 00:18:08,850 - Hi. - Hey, how's the cough? 323 00:18:08,930 --> 00:18:11,810 A bit better I think. How are you? 324 00:18:11,890 --> 00:18:13,770 I had it I think, but it's passed. 325 00:18:13,850 --> 00:18:16,220 I hope. [chuckles] It's like a Valkyrie. 326 00:18:16,930 --> 00:18:18,220 What? 327 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,310 It's a Viking spirit who, before battles, decides 328 00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:22,770 who will live and who will die. 329 00:18:22,850 --> 00:18:27,850 Valkyries, uh, make their choices with no reason. 330 00:18:27,930 --> 00:18:30,600 No morality, no good or bad. 331 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:33,520 It's just so unfair how some people get so sick and some don't. 332 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:36,430 Toby, you're back. How are you? 333 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,390 Gangster. Thank you. 334 00:18:38,470 --> 00:18:41,140 - Hello! - Donald! 335 00:18:41,220 --> 00:18:43,520 [laughs] You got a tie on. 336 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,180 One of my father's old ones. 337 00:18:45,270 --> 00:18:48,600 I've become nostalgic for old-fashioned formality. 338 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,640 On these Zoom things, I always imagine every man has an erection. 339 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:53,930 - Ooh! - [laughter] 340 00:18:54,020 --> 00:18:55,680 Donald, is that your house? 341 00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:59,850 Uh, no. I'm at my mother's. Anthony threw me out. 342 00:19:01,810 --> 00:19:06,060 Oh! That's not allowed, is it? 343 00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:09,770 We had an awful night, and everything came out. 344 00:19:09,850 --> 00:19:12,350 We found out we, uh, hate each other. So... 345 00:19:12,430 --> 00:19:13,640 [laptop chimes] 346 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,350 [Melissa] Hi! 347 00:19:15,430 --> 00:19:19,890 Uh, Melissa. Hey, how is Italy? I hear it's bad there. 348 00:19:19,970 --> 00:19:21,560 No, I'm in Sweden. 349 00:19:22,680 --> 00:19:24,770 - What? - Look. 350 00:19:25,970 --> 00:19:27,600 You can go to bars here. 351 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:30,640 Hmm. Is anybody obeying the rules? 352 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,100 [vomiting] 353 00:19:35,680 --> 00:19:36,930 [groans] 354 00:19:37,020 --> 00:19:38,060 [coughs] 355 00:19:38,850 --> 00:19:40,020 [flushing] 356 00:19:43,970 --> 00:19:47,020 After ten years sober, that was fucking smart. 357 00:19:49,680 --> 00:19:50,970 [coughs] 358 00:19:51,060 --> 00:19:53,270 Wait, who are we waiting for? 359 00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:56,720 - Timothy, I think. - Oh, is Timothy okay? 360 00:19:56,810 --> 00:19:58,390 Why wouldn't he be? 361 00:19:58,470 --> 00:20:00,770 Well, he's got an underlying health condition. 362 00:20:00,850 --> 00:20:02,770 - Do you know which one? - No. 363 00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:04,270 He just seemed like a sort of person 364 00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:06,270 who would have an underlying health condition. 365 00:20:06,350 --> 00:20:08,560 Shall we just start without Timothy? 366 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,430 By the way, I am also wearing shoes. 367 00:20:12,520 --> 00:20:14,140 - [laughs] - [Linda] Seriously, we should start. 368 00:20:14,220 --> 00:20:17,470 I have something to say. Something important. 369 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,850 - [clears throat] - [cell phone chimes] 370 00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:23,140 Oh, um, hang on. Oh, it's a message from Timothy. 371 00:20:26,100 --> 00:20:29,520 - God! - Has he got it? 372 00:20:29,600 --> 00:20:31,310 "Dear, Linda. As of 9:00 a.m. this morning, 373 00:20:31,390 --> 00:20:33,060 I am resigning my position at Miracore Media 374 00:20:33,140 --> 00:20:35,680 with immediate effect. I have had time alone to think 375 00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,470 and I've realized that what this company does 376 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,310 is just self-indulgent media bullshit, 377 00:20:39,390 --> 00:20:41,970 supporting corrosive international capitalism around the world. 378 00:20:42,060 --> 00:20:44,560 We should be using our creativity to save the planet, 379 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,140 not sell handbags to the wives of fascist dictators. 380 00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:50,810 "Yours in isolation. Timothy." 381 00:20:50,890 --> 00:20:56,270 Just been watching David Attenborough documentaries, I imagine. 382 00:20:56,350 --> 00:20:57,560 Did he snap? 383 00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,430 Okay, so there's no need to wait for Timothy. 384 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:01,560 Let's get this done. 385 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,520 Sounds awfully grave, Linda. 386 00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:06,520 - [kid] Daddy, Daddy. - Shh. Daddy's on a call. 387 00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,100 [indistinct talking] 388 00:21:10,430 --> 00:21:13,970 Yesterday, I had a very long Zoom call with head office in Chicago. 389 00:21:14,060 --> 00:21:16,680 All continents were represented. 390 00:21:16,770 --> 00:21:18,640 And it seems that all over the world 391 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,850 the company is facing the same issues at this difficult time. 392 00:21:21,930 --> 00:21:25,220 As CEO of Miracore UK, it is my... 393 00:21:26,930 --> 00:21:29,350 unfortunate duty to let you know 394 00:21:29,430 --> 00:21:33,060 that there will be some furloughing of employees across the board. 395 00:21:34,470 --> 00:21:36,720 And also a number of compulsory redundancies 396 00:21:36,810 --> 00:21:39,470 effective from today. 397 00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:46,680 I assume the Inuit system of leaving the old on the ice will be in play. 398 00:21:46,770 --> 00:21:49,640 Donald, please don't jump to conclusions. 399 00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,520 Linda, what do you mean? 400 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,310 Uh, in normal times, I would've gathered everyone into a room... 401 00:21:54,390 --> 00:21:56,310 [Natasha] Everyone? 402 00:21:57,310 --> 00:21:58,520 [Toby shushing] 403 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:02,560 Everyone on this Zoom call is on this call 404 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,180 because all of your positions have been deemed no longer sustainable, 405 00:22:05,270 --> 00:22:09,020 and as of today your contracts of employment with Miracore will be terminated. 406 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,640 Okay. 407 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,560 I'm glad I'm home. 408 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:17,640 I'm going to feed the fucking chickens. 409 00:22:19,180 --> 00:22:21,850 This is really bad, Linda. How do you sleep? 410 00:22:23,270 --> 00:22:24,600 [kid] Hello! 411 00:22:25,850 --> 00:22:27,770 [softly] Hello. 412 00:22:27,850 --> 00:22:30,100 [kid] Look at my dinosaur. 413 00:22:34,970 --> 00:22:36,560 Daddy... 414 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:39,060 Malcolm, I thought being furloughed 415 00:22:39,140 --> 00:22:40,930 meant that the government pays your wages, 416 00:22:41,020 --> 00:22:42,390 but you don't do any work. 417 00:22:42,470 --> 00:22:43,970 [Malcolm] Yeah, it does, it does, it does. 418 00:22:44,060 --> 00:22:45,390 But COVID makes everything different. 419 00:22:45,470 --> 00:22:47,310 So sad. So sad. 420 00:22:47,390 --> 00:22:50,970 All of this is impacting on everyone in my pastoral care. 421 00:22:51,060 --> 00:22:53,270 Yeah, but I'm not in your pastoral care, right? 422 00:22:53,350 --> 00:22:54,850 I work for you. 423 00:22:54,930 --> 00:22:56,430 And all I wanna know is, 424 00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,060 if I am furloughed, why are you asking me to work? 425 00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:00,180 It's illegal, isn't it? 426 00:23:00,270 --> 00:23:01,390 I'm a Christian man. 427 00:23:01,470 --> 00:23:03,270 We all know that you are a Christian man. 428 00:23:03,350 --> 00:23:05,180 You say it like I ram it down your throats. 429 00:23:05,270 --> 00:23:07,060 I do not ram it down your fucking throat. 430 00:23:07,140 --> 00:23:10,060 Malcolm, just tell me, what is it that you want me to do? 431 00:23:10,140 --> 00:23:11,720 We have a situation, Paxton. 432 00:23:11,810 --> 00:23:13,890 Yeah, I'm leaving this call unless you tell me. 433 00:23:13,970 --> 00:23:15,180 I sat through your prayer. 434 00:23:15,270 --> 00:23:16,970 I begin every FaceTime with a prayer. 435 00:23:17,060 --> 00:23:18,970 My choice. Right? I'm the boss. 436 00:23:19,060 --> 00:23:22,310 Yeah, you are the boss. So what do you want me to do, boss? 437 00:23:22,390 --> 00:23:25,640 Due to lockdown, all the major department stores in the West End are closing. 438 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,520 B2B Pro Freight Services are among several freight companies 439 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:33,520 which have been asked to transport valuable retail items from the West End outlets 440 00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:37,350 to secure storage facilities in shitholes like Dagenham. 441 00:23:37,430 --> 00:23:40,890 The fabric, Paxton, of our society is torn, you see that. 442 00:23:40,970 --> 00:23:45,220 Fears of rioting and looting. Pestilence. Apocalyptic words. 443 00:23:45,310 --> 00:23:48,060 I'm giving you ten seconds to tell me what it is you want me to do. 444 00:23:48,140 --> 00:23:50,970 - Ten, nine, eight... - Because of this crisis, we urgently need drivers. 445 00:23:51,060 --> 00:23:53,180 - Drivers like you. - ...seven, six, five... 446 00:23:53,270 --> 00:23:55,640 Department stores only allow their goods to be transported by drivers 447 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:58,770 - who do not have criminal records. - ...three, two... 448 00:23:59,680 --> 00:24:01,220 I repeat. 449 00:24:01,310 --> 00:24:04,850 B2B Pro Freight Services have urgent need for drivers 450 00:24:04,930 --> 00:24:08,970 registered to us who do not have criminal records. 451 00:24:09,060 --> 00:24:11,020 So why are you talking to me? 452 00:24:11,100 --> 00:24:13,850 I have contracts to carry valuables from 16 department stores 453 00:24:13,930 --> 00:24:17,520 across London, and they all want everything out in the next four days. 454 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:19,850 And I only have two fucking drivers. 455 00:24:19,930 --> 00:24:21,310 So what's your solution? 456 00:24:21,390 --> 00:24:25,220 Deception. Forgiveness. Redemption. Bunce. 457 00:24:25,310 --> 00:24:26,640 What the fuck is bunce? 458 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:28,560 Old East End word for cash, Paxton, 459 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:30,350 in return for grand deception. 460 00:24:30,430 --> 00:24:33,060 Facilitated by my forgiveness and your redemption. 461 00:24:33,140 --> 00:24:34,720 All right, get there. Get there, Malcolm. 462 00:24:34,810 --> 00:24:37,140 I've printed off an ID with a security level A2. 463 00:24:37,220 --> 00:24:39,270 Clean. With your photo on it and a name. 464 00:24:39,350 --> 00:24:41,350 It is not your name. 465 00:24:41,430 --> 00:24:42,970 I can't officially take you off furlough and give you this work, 466 00:24:43,060 --> 00:24:45,180 because you used to be a bike slag, 467 00:24:45,270 --> 00:24:47,520 so I will have to pretend you are someone else and pay you in cash. 468 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:49,930 You've worked for this company as a driver for seven years. 469 00:24:50,020 --> 00:24:51,560 And I have never had a single complaint. 470 00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,600 You've only ever driven low value packages, 471 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,350 but I believe you are a man who can be trusted. 472 00:24:58,810 --> 00:25:00,180 That I am. 473 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,680 Yeah, I can be trusted. 474 00:25:03,770 --> 00:25:05,520 I mean, what happened was a long time ago. 475 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:06,770 Yeah, I don't wanna to know. 476 00:25:06,850 --> 00:25:08,640 No, it was biker versus biker. 477 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:11,600 The Lord forgives. B2B Pro Freight Services forgives. 478 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,430 If it wasn't for the fucking convictions from that night, 479 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,270 my whole life would've been radically different. 480 00:25:15,350 --> 00:25:17,180 Two hundred a day in cash. 481 00:25:17,270 --> 00:25:20,350 I don't care about the cash. I wanna make a deal with you, Malcolm. 482 00:25:20,430 --> 00:25:22,390 Look, I will do this on the condition 483 00:25:22,470 --> 00:25:25,310 that when this is all over, you will consider me for a clerical position. 484 00:25:25,390 --> 00:25:27,020 My entire life has been fucked up 485 00:25:27,100 --> 00:25:28,770 because of things I did on one night. 486 00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:30,270 My wife... 487 00:25:30,350 --> 00:25:32,060 - [cell phone ringing] - My wife has grown out of me, 488 00:25:32,140 --> 00:25:34,930 because I am still Mr. Fuck-All behind the wheel of a van. 489 00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:36,520 I am not stupid. 490 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:37,600 I read poetry. 491 00:25:37,680 --> 00:25:38,770 I could be someone. 492 00:25:38,850 --> 00:25:40,430 I've got another call, Paxton. 493 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,060 It is a very busy time, the West End is going mad. 494 00:25:42,140 --> 00:25:43,350 Will you do it? 495 00:25:43,430 --> 00:25:44,720 All right, if I do this for you, Malcolm, 496 00:25:44,810 --> 00:25:47,060 I want you to practice what you preach. 497 00:25:47,140 --> 00:25:50,470 About forgiveness, and lost sheep and redemption, 498 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,970 all of it, and give me a chance to come off the road. 499 00:25:53,060 --> 00:25:54,680 Everything is possible, Paxton. 500 00:25:54,770 --> 00:25:56,680 God bless you. 501 00:25:56,770 --> 00:25:58,640 Selfridges, Thursday. Harvey Nichols, Friday. Harrods on Saturday. 502 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,470 - Right, yeah. - I will e-mail your full itinerary 503 00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:01,970 and your new identity. 504 00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:04,890 Okay, okay. And after... After Harrods on Saturday... 505 00:26:04,970 --> 00:26:06,600 God bless you, Paxton. 506 00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:08,720 - [call ends] - [sighs] 507 00:26:14,020 --> 00:26:15,310 Shit. 508 00:26:30,270 --> 00:26:31,600 [Skype ringtone on laptop] 509 00:26:48,100 --> 00:26:51,680 Hey, Linda, how's lockdown? 510 00:26:51,770 --> 00:26:54,020 [chuckles] It's pretty bad. 511 00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:55,520 How's Chicago? 512 00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:57,520 I'm in Vermont. 513 00:26:57,600 --> 00:26:59,600 Yeah, moved the family out to Vermont. 514 00:26:59,680 --> 00:27:03,180 We're all here crazy happy. 515 00:27:03,270 --> 00:27:07,020 Kids make a lot of noise, so I got these new AirPods Pro. 516 00:27:07,100 --> 00:27:10,390 Noise canceling. They work, like, you literally can't hear anything. 517 00:27:10,470 --> 00:27:12,180 No, I don't have those. 518 00:27:13,140 --> 00:27:15,180 I can see in your face 519 00:27:15,270 --> 00:27:18,310 that you, uh, spoke to the guys at Events and delivered the update. 520 00:27:18,390 --> 00:27:21,520 Update. Yeah. Yeah, I updated them. 521 00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,060 - [clears throat] - Did you read them my message? 522 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,560 The stuff about the Miracore family? 523 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,140 No, no, no, I didn't think that would translate. Um... 524 00:27:31,220 --> 00:27:36,350 Linda, I wrote that message from the heart. I really meant what I said. 525 00:27:36,430 --> 00:27:38,430 I can't believe you didn't read it out to them. 526 00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:41,430 I didn't think it was appropriate to say that "Miracore is a family 527 00:27:41,520 --> 00:27:43,310 and there comes a time in every family's life 528 00:27:43,390 --> 00:27:46,140 when it's best if some family members fly the nest." 529 00:27:47,390 --> 00:27:48,890 Why is that not appropriate? 530 00:27:49,020 --> 00:27:50,520 Because they're not flying the nest, are they? 531 00:27:50,600 --> 00:27:53,180 They're being thrown out of the nest 532 00:27:53,270 --> 00:27:54,770 into the long grass under the tree. 533 00:27:54,850 --> 00:27:56,770 There's no tree. What tree? 534 00:27:56,850 --> 00:27:59,270 It's your nest, Guy. You came up with the analogy of the nest. 535 00:27:59,350 --> 00:28:00,970 So there has to be a tree. 536 00:28:01,060 --> 00:28:02,600 Do you have a temperature, Linda? 537 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:07,680 Um, there are two big events which were already set up when lockdown began. 538 00:28:07,770 --> 00:28:09,430 One was at Westfield, 539 00:28:09,520 --> 00:28:11,350 the other one was the Eve Schwarz store takeover at Harrods. 540 00:28:11,430 --> 00:28:13,270 But both Westfield and Harrods have closed their door. 541 00:28:13,350 --> 00:28:14,560 I love Harrods. 542 00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,430 Yeah, I love Harrods, too. 543 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,560 I worked there for five years, they were the happiest of my life. 544 00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,600 Anyway, the launch of Eve Schwarz collection was going to be huge, 545 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,600 so I chose Harrods because of its size and level of security. 546 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,560 You chose? I thought Melissa was head of events strategy. 547 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,270 Yeah. Sometimes I questioned her... It doesn't matter. 548 00:28:30,350 --> 00:28:33,600 You've been carrying that department a long time. 549 00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:36,140 Yeah, well, they were family, weren't they? 550 00:28:36,220 --> 00:28:38,140 And that's what you do with family. 551 00:28:38,220 --> 00:28:40,100 You carry them until you get a direction from Chicago to drop them, 552 00:28:40,180 --> 00:28:41,970 and then you dutifully drop them. 553 00:28:42,060 --> 00:28:44,140 Anyway, at Harrods, we have five million dollars worth of jewelry, 554 00:28:44,220 --> 00:28:46,470 clothing and accessories already installed for the catwalk 555 00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,020 and store takeover under Miracore liability. 556 00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:50,600 And that includes the Harris Diamond 557 00:28:50,680 --> 00:28:52,640 which was to be the centerpiece of the show. 558 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:55,970 The Harris Diamond is under our insurance liability? 559 00:28:56,060 --> 00:28:57,390 It's, um... 560 00:28:57,470 --> 00:29:01,520 It's safe in the Harrods' secure vault, but, yes. 561 00:29:04,100 --> 00:29:07,350 I suggested to the people at Eve Schwarz 562 00:29:07,430 --> 00:29:10,060 that we put everything into Harrods' secure storage as quickly as possible 563 00:29:10,140 --> 00:29:11,890 [chuckles lightly] until this, um... 564 00:29:12,020 --> 00:29:14,350 Uh, until this situation is ended. 565 00:29:14,430 --> 00:29:17,140 But we have a problem with insurance. You see... 566 00:29:19,020 --> 00:29:21,020 Uh... 567 00:29:21,100 --> 00:29:23,850 So, Eve Schwarz's insurance policy 568 00:29:23,930 --> 00:29:25,680 means that they are not allowed to store their merchandise 569 00:29:25,770 --> 00:29:27,520 except under their own corporate supervision. 570 00:29:27,600 --> 00:29:29,350 So the merchandise 571 00:29:29,430 --> 00:29:31,640 will have to be taken out of the store in secure transportation. 572 00:29:32,930 --> 00:29:34,970 Anyway, the stores are allocating for collection. 573 00:29:35,060 --> 00:29:38,180 We have Westfield on Friday, Harrods on Saturday. 574 00:29:38,270 --> 00:29:40,970 And then we discuss your role and your salary. 575 00:29:41,060 --> 00:29:44,140 - [mouthing] - There'll be a lot of new responsibilities. 576 00:29:44,220 --> 00:29:49,930 -Things are changing. -That's excellent news. Thank you. 577 00:29:50,020 --> 00:29:51,930 [in British accent] Say hello to London. 578 00:29:52,020 --> 00:29:54,600 - Enjoy Vermont. - [in normal accent] You bet. 579 00:29:57,770 --> 00:30:00,060 What? Oh, fuck! Quinn! 580 00:30:00,140 --> 00:30:01,850 [call ends] 581 00:30:02,520 --> 00:30:03,850 [laughs] 582 00:30:09,100 --> 00:30:11,520 - [knock on door] - [Paxton] I'm going to the land of the Walking Dead 583 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:12,470 to buy some milk. 584 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,890 Do we need anything else? 585 00:30:15,680 --> 00:30:19,560 I say the word "we" without any attempt to suggest a unified entity, 586 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:23,270 but there's no point in us both going separately to get our own provisions. 587 00:30:24,600 --> 00:30:26,060 It's getting rough out there. 588 00:30:26,140 --> 00:30:27,640 And increasingly, I think 589 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,600 people like me who have spent time in real prison 590 00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,270 are thriving in this new reality. 591 00:30:31,350 --> 00:30:33,930 Oh, you know what, Paxton, fuck it. Come in. 592 00:30:36,220 --> 00:30:41,600 All right, Paxton, here it is. In addition to milk, I need cigarettes. 593 00:30:44,390 --> 00:30:47,060 - What? - I was trying to hide that I'm smoking again, 594 00:30:47,140 --> 00:30:50,430 but since we're no longer together, it doesn't really matter, does it? 595 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:52,100 You are smoking? 596 00:30:52,180 --> 00:30:54,930 Yes. I plan to carry on just until this thing is over. 597 00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:57,770 It's magnificent, actually. 598 00:30:57,850 --> 00:30:59,810 And when did you start smoking again? 599 00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:01,970 Just before Christmas. 600 00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:04,140 Why? 601 00:31:04,220 --> 00:31:07,640 I started smoking again when I went to Paris. 602 00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:09,270 - You went to Paris? - Yes, I went to Paris. 603 00:31:09,350 --> 00:31:10,680 I didn't tell you I went to Paris. 604 00:31:10,770 --> 00:31:12,890 Michael Essien invited me to Paris and I went. 605 00:31:12,970 --> 00:31:14,680 Okay, my therapist 606 00:31:14,770 --> 00:31:18,060 identifies these moments as confession avalanche. 607 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,390 Who the fuck is Michael Essien? 608 00:31:22,470 --> 00:31:23,680 He is the founder of Miracore, 609 00:31:23,770 --> 00:31:25,310 seventh wealthiest man in Germany. 610 00:31:25,390 --> 00:31:27,970 - And you went to Paris with him? - Not quite. 611 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:30,220 He invited the CEOs from six countries 612 00:31:30,310 --> 00:31:32,520 to come to Paris for his 60th birthday celebration. 613 00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,640 Do you mind if I light this thing? I've put it out twi... 614 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,850 And, you know what? Actually, it's my choice. Why am I even asking? 615 00:31:44,140 --> 00:31:46,220 When I got to the hotel, there was this banqueting suite 616 00:31:46,310 --> 00:31:48,270 and I met six other CEOs just like me, 617 00:31:48,350 --> 00:31:50,220 only I had just become a CEO, 618 00:31:50,310 --> 00:31:52,810 so I didn't realize exactly who I was until I saw the other CEOs, 619 00:31:52,890 --> 00:31:56,970 and then I was like, "Oh, so that's who I am now." 620 00:31:57,060 --> 00:31:59,140 And we sat around this table, drinking champagne, 621 00:31:59,220 --> 00:32:01,680 and the conversation was lots of little voices saying "yes," 622 00:32:01,770 --> 00:32:04,140 and one big voice saying "good," Michael Essien's voice. 623 00:32:04,220 --> 00:32:07,520 And then the big voice said, "Emerging markets" and I... 624 00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:10,720 You know how sometimes when people say something abstract, I actually see it? 625 00:32:10,810 --> 00:32:13,270 Well, we did smoke a lot of weed in the bad old days. 626 00:32:13,350 --> 00:32:18,020 When he said "Emerging markets," I saw this... 627 00:32:18,100 --> 00:32:24,020 thing, this shape appearing from under the table and swimming around our legs. 628 00:32:24,100 --> 00:32:28,020 I think I actually did have a temperature that night. But, anyway, 629 00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:30,520 then he said "Cigarettes and pharmaceuticals," 630 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:33,810 and I drank some champagne and someone said "facilitators," 631 00:32:33,890 --> 00:32:37,100 that is people who persuade governments that products are safe and okay. 632 00:32:37,180 --> 00:32:41,600 And the big voice said that facilitators were now a huge link in the chain 633 00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,890 and I saw this big chain dripping seaweed 634 00:32:44,970 --> 00:32:47,850 and then the big voice raised a toast to corruption, 635 00:32:47,930 --> 00:32:50,220 and everybody laughed ironically, including me. 636 00:32:50,310 --> 00:32:51,640 Paxton, look at me! 637 00:32:54,970 --> 00:32:59,140 And this thing, this shape, it was swimming around my fucking legs 638 00:32:59,220 --> 00:33:01,060 and then the big voice said, emerging market 639 00:33:01,140 --> 00:33:03,470 were now some big percentage of Miracore's profits, 640 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,020 and so there would have to be rationalization in Europe. 641 00:33:06,100 --> 00:33:08,220 And I drank some water, because I felt a little sick, 642 00:33:08,310 --> 00:33:10,720 but also like I might pass out, but then the waiter said "brandy," so I said yes. 643 00:33:10,810 --> 00:33:15,560 And, so, the rationalization was planned right there 644 00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:17,720 at that table in Paris before Christmas. 645 00:33:17,810 --> 00:33:20,430 And the nice people that I fired earlier today, 646 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,100 they weren't fired because of a virus, like I told them, 647 00:33:23,180 --> 00:33:26,020 that was a lie. They were fired because of this... 648 00:33:26,100 --> 00:33:27,810 this thing, this shape, 649 00:33:27,890 --> 00:33:30,100 that swam with me all the way back to my room, 650 00:33:30,180 --> 00:33:35,430 and to get rid of it, I used the disgusting glass swan to smash a full length mirror, 651 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,430 and rather then walk across broken glass all night, 652 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,520 I decided to take the last train home to London, 653 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,310 and when I got to the Gare du Nord station, 654 00:33:41,390 --> 00:33:43,430 a homeless woman came up to me and asked me for a cigarette. 655 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:45,770 I told her that I didn't smoke, but I decided to buy her a pack anyway, 656 00:33:45,850 --> 00:33:48,060 because I thought that maybe kindness might make me feel better 657 00:33:48,140 --> 00:33:50,970 about what I had become. And when she lit her cigarette, 658 00:33:51,060 --> 00:33:52,930 I decided to have a cigarette, too. 659 00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:55,100 And when I drew in the smoke, 660 00:33:55,180 --> 00:33:58,770 the thing stopped swimming. 661 00:34:00,350 --> 00:34:04,220 So I sat down on the bench and I waited for my train. 662 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,640 And that is why I started to smoke again. 663 00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:16,060 But... to complete the answer to your original question, 664 00:34:16,140 --> 00:34:19,680 in addition to milk and cigarettes, we need bread 665 00:34:20,430 --> 00:34:22,600 and fucking wine. 666 00:34:25,680 --> 00:34:27,060 God! 667 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:29,430 God what? 668 00:34:29,520 --> 00:34:31,220 Well, it sounds like you did have a temperature. 669 00:34:31,310 --> 00:34:33,060 You know, they say this thing was around before Christmas. 670 00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:34,970 Paxton, no! It's not about the virus. 671 00:34:35,060 --> 00:34:39,600 It's about me realizing who I am and what I do for a living. 672 00:34:41,060 --> 00:34:43,060 Although a complete re-examination of one's life 673 00:34:43,140 --> 00:34:44,720 does seem to be a COVID side effect. 674 00:34:45,720 --> 00:34:47,270 - You smashed a mirror? - Yeah. 675 00:34:47,350 --> 00:34:48,600 Yeah, because I was in it. 676 00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,600 I also smashed a champagne bottle, 677 00:34:50,680 --> 00:34:52,810 some champagne glasses, and I was about to smash a glass horse and jockey, 678 00:34:52,890 --> 00:34:54,270 but then I decided to keep it, 679 00:34:54,350 --> 00:34:56,390 but then I left it on the fucking train. 680 00:34:56,470 --> 00:35:00,100 Basically, I went, what you used to call, "Full Viking." 681 00:35:00,180 --> 00:35:01,600 In fact, when I broke the mirror 682 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:03,970 and I saw my furious face in the cracked glass, 683 00:35:04,060 --> 00:35:06,680 -I thought of you. -[chuckles] That's very sweet. Thank you. 684 00:35:10,930 --> 00:35:12,270 Why didn't you tell me? 685 00:35:15,100 --> 00:35:19,600 It was the onset of winter. Our winter. 686 00:35:19,680 --> 00:35:21,430 And anyway, I didn't tell anybody, 687 00:35:21,520 --> 00:35:25,470 because if you don't tell anybody, then it didn't happen. 688 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:28,100 - Did you get a bill for the mirror? - Paxton... 689 00:35:28,180 --> 00:35:31,720 Paxton, fuck the mirror. It's not about the mirror, it's about... 690 00:35:38,060 --> 00:35:40,810 Previously, at this point, 691 00:35:40,890 --> 00:35:43,220 - I would've hugged you. - No, really, there's no need. 692 00:35:43,310 --> 00:35:44,970 And anyway, besides, you're going shopping. 693 00:35:45,060 --> 00:35:50,140 So, uh, milk, bread, wine, cigarettes. 694 00:35:50,220 --> 00:35:53,470 - And probably eggs. - I'm gonna put white flour on the list. 695 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:55,060 I'm gonna make bread. 696 00:35:55,140 --> 00:35:57,470 - Please don't. - You know... 697 00:35:58,890 --> 00:36:01,720 what you just said wasn't a confession. 698 00:36:01,810 --> 00:36:03,100 I didn't say it was a confession. 699 00:36:03,180 --> 00:36:04,220 'Cause you didn't do anything wrong. 700 00:36:04,310 --> 00:36:06,220 No, it was an explanation. 701 00:36:06,310 --> 00:36:07,560 You did everything right. 702 00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:11,770 You wanna hear a confession? 703 00:36:11,850 --> 00:36:17,060 This morning I overslept, because last night I took opium. 704 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:20,270 [laughs] Yes! 705 00:36:20,810 --> 00:36:22,470 Yes. 706 00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:24,220 Much worse than your cigarettes. 707 00:36:24,310 --> 00:36:28,600 I licked opium off little green bulbs from the garden. 708 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:30,180 - No, you didn't. - Yes, I did. 709 00:36:30,270 --> 00:36:31,970 Our garden is full of heroin. 710 00:36:32,060 --> 00:36:33,350 You go beyond the washing line, it's like the Helmand Province. 711 00:36:33,430 --> 00:36:35,930 After ten years, Paxton? 712 00:36:36,020 --> 00:36:37,930 Smoking isn't so great either. 713 00:36:38,020 --> 00:36:40,350 You know, I've had some setbacks lately. 714 00:36:40,430 --> 00:36:42,390 Yeah, well, you know what, Paxton? 715 00:36:42,470 --> 00:36:44,390 You know that green smoothie that I have in the mornings since Paris, 716 00:36:44,470 --> 00:36:45,930 there's two shots of vodka in it. 717 00:36:46,020 --> 00:36:47,430 - Just two but... - You are lying. 718 00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:49,220 No, I'm not. 719 00:36:49,310 --> 00:36:51,310 Not every morning, but some mornings I do it. I have done it. 720 00:36:51,390 --> 00:36:54,720 You think I'm so happy and normal is 'cause I keep getting promoted. 721 00:36:54,810 --> 00:36:56,520 People get confused. 722 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,220 No, I've never accused you of being happy and normal, Linda. 723 00:36:58,310 --> 00:37:03,310 'Cause I'm not! All right? I see concepts. 724 00:37:03,390 --> 00:37:04,640 I should've been an artist. 725 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:06,310 You are unhappy in an outwardly "happy", 726 00:37:06,390 --> 00:37:08,640 let's pretend it's all fine" female way, 727 00:37:08,720 --> 00:37:11,520 and I am unhappy in an obviously thwarted, 728 00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,970 - unfulfilled, castrated male way. - I can't. I can't. 729 00:37:14,060 --> 00:37:15,810 Do not go down this road again, okay? 730 00:37:15,890 --> 00:37:19,180 Just go to the store. Milk, bread, wine, cigarettes, eggs. 731 00:37:19,270 --> 00:37:21,470 Yeah, and fuck you, I'm buying flour. 732 00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:23,970 Fine! Wait. Do you have a mask? 733 00:37:27,850 --> 00:37:29,470 No, I don't have a mask, no. 734 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,520 Well, you'll have to tie something around your mouth and nose. 735 00:37:41,770 --> 00:37:43,470 Fuck! 736 00:37:45,470 --> 00:37:46,970 My old bandana. 737 00:37:47,060 --> 00:37:50,350 Hmm. Yeah, well, it's no longer a symbol of rebellion. 738 00:37:50,430 --> 00:37:51,930 It's now government advice. 739 00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:05,060 You were wearing that when I met you in Sturgis, South Dakota. 740 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,890 I thought you looked like a desperado. 741 00:38:08,970 --> 00:38:11,020 No, I was just trying to get the dust out of my mouth. 742 00:38:11,100 --> 00:38:12,350 Don't spoil it. 743 00:38:15,810 --> 00:38:18,930 Don't forget the milk and the eggs, Desperado. 744 00:38:20,180 --> 00:38:22,390 [imitates gun whooshing] 745 00:38:23,140 --> 00:38:25,890 [piano music playing] 746 00:38:40,470 --> 00:38:42,810 Oi! Move forward. 747 00:38:43,310 --> 00:38:44,770 Oi! 748 00:38:44,850 --> 00:38:46,520 Go ahead then. 749 00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:47,770 [Paxton] Fuck off. 750 00:38:51,310 --> 00:38:52,560 Oi. How many asses have you got? 751 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:53,640 [man] Fuck off! 752 00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:56,720 [piano music continues] 753 00:39:23,850 --> 00:39:26,930 [mouse clicking] 754 00:39:36,350 --> 00:39:38,100 [knock on door] 755 00:39:42,890 --> 00:39:44,350 Paxton. 756 00:39:46,890 --> 00:39:50,850 Hearing the story about Paris out loud, it made me think... 757 00:39:50,930 --> 00:39:53,810 When lockdown's over, I'm going to think about leaving Miracore. 758 00:39:54,310 --> 00:39:56,350 [exhales] 759 00:39:56,430 --> 00:39:57,850 Why are you telling me? 760 00:40:11,850 --> 00:40:13,430 [ringing] 761 00:40:17,890 --> 00:40:18,810 [sighs] 762 00:40:23,060 --> 00:40:24,390 You called? 763 00:40:24,470 --> 00:40:25,970 Oh, Lord who art in heaven, I beseech you, 764 00:40:26,060 --> 00:40:27,770 look favorably upon Paxton and myself 765 00:40:27,850 --> 00:40:29,350 and forgive us the sin of deception 766 00:40:29,430 --> 00:40:31,020 which we are jointly about to commit 767 00:40:31,100 --> 00:40:33,310 in pursuit of his ultimate redemption. Amen. 768 00:40:35,350 --> 00:40:37,140 Amen. 769 00:40:37,220 --> 00:40:38,930 Every prayer is tailored to suit the person I am calling. 770 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:41,390 Either it's me writing the words or it's Jesus. 771 00:40:42,270 --> 00:40:44,060 What do you want, Malcolm? 772 00:40:44,140 --> 00:40:45,930 I've got your fake ID sorted. 773 00:40:46,020 --> 00:40:48,100 Virginia is delivering the ID card. 774 00:40:48,180 --> 00:40:50,520 I wanted to make sure you'd be in. 775 00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:52,430 You know what, Malcolm? Everybody's in. 776 00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:54,180 And I've sent you your new name. 777 00:40:54,270 --> 00:40:56,220 I texted it to you. It's on your phone. 778 00:40:56,930 --> 00:40:58,680 Okay. 779 00:40:58,770 --> 00:41:02,350 A new name for the beginning of a new life. 780 00:41:03,310 --> 00:41:06,220 And my new name is... 781 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,890 Edgar Allen Poe. 782 00:41:11,970 --> 00:41:13,140 [Malcolm] Yeah. 783 00:41:15,140 --> 00:41:16,640 Yeah, uh... 784 00:41:17,930 --> 00:41:20,100 Yeah. Malcolm, I obviously can't use this name. 785 00:41:20,180 --> 00:41:21,390 Why not? 786 00:41:21,470 --> 00:41:22,720 I'm hoping this is a joke, 787 00:41:22,810 --> 00:41:24,020 but I know you, so it's probably not. 788 00:41:24,100 --> 00:41:25,140 What joke? 789 00:41:26,810 --> 00:41:28,060 Okay. 790 00:41:28,140 --> 00:41:30,850 Edgar Allan Poe is the name of a famous, 791 00:41:30,930 --> 00:41:32,220 like a... 792 00:41:32,310 --> 00:41:34,430 like a very famous American novelist and poet. 793 00:41:34,520 --> 00:41:35,970 Never heard of him. 794 00:41:36,060 --> 00:41:37,390 Well, I assure you, 795 00:41:37,470 --> 00:41:41,270 Edgar Allan Poe is actually a very famous 796 00:41:41,350 --> 00:41:43,220 American writer who I'm actually very fond of. 797 00:41:43,310 --> 00:41:44,930 It was me that came up with Edgar. 798 00:41:45,020 --> 00:41:46,430 It's my grandad's name. 799 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:48,140 So who came up with the "Allen Poe" part? 800 00:41:48,220 --> 00:41:49,680 Martin in dispatch. 801 00:41:50,180 --> 00:41:51,640 Fuck. 802 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:53,770 Martin in dispatch hates me. 803 00:41:53,850 --> 00:41:56,350 He's deliberately suggested this to make my life strange 804 00:41:56,430 --> 00:41:57,720 and unbearable. 805 00:41:57,810 --> 00:41:59,350 Well, the card's already been laminated. 806 00:41:59,430 --> 00:42:02,180 Malcolm, I can't go into expensive department stores 807 00:42:02,270 --> 00:42:03,390 in the West End, right, 808 00:42:03,470 --> 00:42:05,600 and expect them to entrust me 809 00:42:05,680 --> 00:42:07,850 with valuable clothing and jewelry, 810 00:42:07,930 --> 00:42:10,930 and tell them that my name is Edgar Allen fucking Poe! 811 00:42:11,020 --> 00:42:13,680 If he's so famous, how come I've never heard of him? 812 00:42:13,770 --> 00:42:15,350 'Cause you don't read books! 813 00:42:15,430 --> 00:42:16,930 I read the Good Book. 814 00:42:17,020 --> 00:42:18,430 But he's not in the Bible, obviously. He's an American. 815 00:42:18,520 --> 00:42:20,890 Anybody here ever heard of a writer 816 00:42:20,970 --> 00:42:22,560 called Edgar Allan Poe? 817 00:42:23,810 --> 00:42:25,020 No? 818 00:42:25,100 --> 00:42:26,310 No one. There you go. 819 00:42:26,390 --> 00:42:27,640 [Paxton] I know there's no one there. 820 00:42:27,720 --> 00:42:28,350 They are all working from home. 821 00:42:29,270 --> 00:42:30,520 Martin's here. 822 00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:31,930 This was his idea! 823 00:42:32,020 --> 00:42:34,810 Well, the card's already been laminated. 824 00:42:34,890 --> 00:42:35,970 [sighs] 825 00:42:36,060 --> 00:42:38,390 All right, look, I grant you that 90% 826 00:42:38,470 --> 00:42:40,310 of the security guards working the night shift 827 00:42:40,390 --> 00:42:41,970 in the West End would not have heard 828 00:42:42,060 --> 00:42:43,220 of Edgar Allan Poe. 829 00:42:43,310 --> 00:42:44,600 Basically dealing with robots. 830 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,310 But I am an unlucky person. 831 00:42:46,390 --> 00:42:49,640 Fate has a way of doing these little experiments on me. 832 00:42:49,720 --> 00:42:51,390 Card's already laminated 833 00:42:51,470 --> 00:42:53,850 and Martin has a new name badge made for your uniform. 834 00:42:53,930 --> 00:42:55,310 It's all in the envelope. 835 00:42:55,390 --> 00:42:56,720 By some chance, 836 00:42:56,810 --> 00:42:58,600 choosing the name of a gloomy, 837 00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,270 introspective peddler of darkness is actually quite appropriate 838 00:43:02,350 --> 00:43:03,770 to my character, but please... 839 00:43:05,930 --> 00:43:08,850 just give me a new card under a different name. 840 00:43:08,930 --> 00:43:10,930 The robots don't give a fuck about the name, 841 00:43:11,020 --> 00:43:12,520 they just look at the photo. 842 00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,100 You are due at Selfridges' loading bay B 843 00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:15,850 at 1800 hours tonight. 844 00:43:15,930 --> 00:43:17,930 Wear your uniform with your name tag. 845 00:43:18,020 --> 00:43:19,890 Flash your ID. 846 00:43:19,970 --> 00:43:23,020 Look, if you want to back out, say so now. 847 00:43:23,100 --> 00:43:24,810 I can't get into trouble again, all right? 848 00:43:24,890 --> 00:43:28,350 This could be construed as deception 849 00:43:28,430 --> 00:43:29,430 and attempted robbery. 850 00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:30,810 You counted me down, 851 00:43:30,890 --> 00:43:33,220 I'll count you down, you fucker. 852 00:43:33,310 --> 00:43:37,060 Five, four, three, two... 853 00:43:37,140 --> 00:43:39,770 Fuck! All right, all right. I'll do it. 854 00:43:39,850 --> 00:43:41,220 Good. 855 00:43:41,310 --> 00:43:44,350 Details are on the text. God bless you, Paxton. 856 00:43:44,430 --> 00:43:45,390 [call ends] 857 00:43:48,140 --> 00:43:49,970 [doorbell chiming] 858 00:43:58,140 --> 00:44:00,970 [sighs] No need to sign. I know him. 859 00:44:01,060 --> 00:44:02,310 Are you his other half? 860 00:44:03,180 --> 00:44:04,560 [Linda] Yes, yes, I am. 861 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,390 [Virginia] He's so dry, isn't he? 862 00:44:06,470 --> 00:44:08,100 Yes, he is. [laughs] 863 00:44:08,180 --> 00:44:10,100 [Virginia] Hello, Paxton. 864 00:44:10,180 --> 00:44:12,060 I was just saying you're very funny. 865 00:44:12,140 --> 00:44:14,930 Yes, I am. I am hilarious. 866 00:44:15,020 --> 00:44:17,100 [Virginia] We think he's too clever to be driving vans. 867 00:44:17,180 --> 00:44:19,720 We don't know why he doesn't get a better job. 868 00:44:19,810 --> 00:44:21,180 Well, that's easy. 869 00:44:21,270 --> 00:44:22,930 It's 'cause ten years ago, I beat a man senseless 870 00:44:23,020 --> 00:44:24,520 in a bikers' roadhouse in Watford. 871 00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:25,850 [laughs] See? 872 00:44:25,930 --> 00:44:28,390 He's always saying silly things. 873 00:44:28,470 --> 00:44:30,060 He's so dry. 874 00:44:30,140 --> 00:44:32,310 [Paxton] Give my regards to Martin, would you, Virginia? 875 00:44:32,390 --> 00:44:34,600 - [Virginia] Mmm-hmm. - Tell him this won't be forgotten. 876 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:36,180 Okay. 877 00:44:36,270 --> 00:44:37,810 See you when the madness is over. 878 00:44:37,890 --> 00:44:40,180 Yeah, well, for some of us, the madness never ends. 879 00:44:40,270 --> 00:44:42,180 [Virginia laughs] 880 00:44:44,180 --> 00:44:47,270 [door closes, locks] 881 00:44:47,350 --> 00:44:49,810 Never forget, the man you beat senseless deserved it. 882 00:44:49,890 --> 00:44:51,930 Please don't talk about people deserving things. 883 00:44:52,020 --> 00:44:54,600 If it wasn't for you, a little man called Archie Bruce would be dead. 884 00:44:54,680 --> 00:44:56,810 What you want, justice next? 885 00:44:56,890 --> 00:44:59,220 I know that you had a bad break, 886 00:44:59,310 --> 00:45:00,930 - but going forward... - "Going forward"? 887 00:45:01,020 --> 00:45:02,770 When lockdown is over and we are apart, 888 00:45:02,850 --> 00:45:04,850 you have to stop believing that fate is against you. Okay? 889 00:45:04,930 --> 00:45:06,850 You have to stop believing the name Paxton 890 00:45:06,930 --> 00:45:08,100 is a precursor of doom. 891 00:45:08,180 --> 00:45:10,720 Yes, well, my name isn't Paxton. 892 00:45:13,390 --> 00:45:14,350 Yeah. 893 00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:23,720 [steam hisses] 894 00:45:29,390 --> 00:45:31,560 [Linda groans] 895 00:45:31,640 --> 00:45:35,020 Paxton, you can't go through with this, you're gonna get caught. 896 00:45:35,100 --> 00:45:37,100 If you're doing it for cash, I'll give you the cash. 897 00:45:37,180 --> 00:45:38,850 I am not doing it for the cash. 898 00:45:38,930 --> 00:45:42,100 I'm doing it for the opportunity to have a better life. 899 00:45:42,180 --> 00:45:44,100 But why am I telling you? 900 00:45:47,390 --> 00:45:48,560 [chuckles] 901 00:45:50,810 --> 00:45:53,020 [sighs] Fuck. 902 00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:55,310 [rain pattering] 903 00:45:57,220 --> 00:45:58,430 [man] Paxton. 904 00:45:59,970 --> 00:46:02,350 [motorbike revving in distance] 905 00:46:03,140 --> 00:46:04,520 [Paxton exhales] 906 00:46:09,930 --> 00:46:11,970 [brakes screeching] 907 00:46:20,770 --> 00:46:22,020 Oh! 908 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:26,930 Oh. 909 00:46:33,270 --> 00:46:34,310 Fuck 'em. 910 00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:40,720 And Linda seemed kind of detached from the whole thing. 911 00:46:40,810 --> 00:46:41,810 Hey. 912 00:46:42,310 --> 00:46:43,390 Detached? 913 00:46:44,180 --> 00:46:45,140 Hi, Linda. 914 00:46:45,220 --> 00:46:46,390 We were talking about you. 915 00:46:46,470 --> 00:46:47,890 We were all just saying 916 00:46:47,970 --> 00:46:49,220 that we love that you're always so professional. 917 00:46:49,310 --> 00:46:51,350 Detached from what whole thing? 918 00:46:51,430 --> 00:46:53,220 I was saying you handled the situation 919 00:46:53,310 --> 00:46:56,180 with Events without too much feeling getting in the way. 920 00:46:57,770 --> 00:46:58,850 You fired them well. 921 00:47:00,140 --> 00:47:02,810 I did. Thank you. 922 00:47:02,890 --> 00:47:03,890 Good. 923 00:47:05,350 --> 00:47:08,560 Linda, is that a glass of wine? 924 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:10,350 Oh, yes, yeah, it is. 925 00:47:10,430 --> 00:47:11,890 Well... 926 00:47:11,970 --> 00:47:13,770 it says wine on the label 927 00:47:13,850 --> 00:47:15,180 but it tastes like something used to clean something off of a surface. 928 00:47:15,270 --> 00:47:16,180 Paxton chose it. 929 00:47:16,270 --> 00:47:17,310 Who's Paxton? 930 00:47:17,390 --> 00:47:19,020 [Linda] Mmm, anyway... 931 00:47:19,100 --> 00:47:21,270 we have a problem, so shall we get on? 932 00:47:28,560 --> 00:47:29,640 Hello, Martin. 933 00:47:30,430 --> 00:47:32,350 Hello, Edgar. 934 00:47:32,430 --> 00:47:33,930 You know, from my observation of you 935 00:47:34,020 --> 00:47:35,520 since I joined the company, 936 00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:38,350 you represent the longest and most well-managed 937 00:47:38,430 --> 00:47:40,430 nervous breakdown in history. 938 00:47:40,520 --> 00:47:43,270 Why don't you go somewhere warm and count your grievances? 939 00:47:43,350 --> 00:47:45,600 I've disinfected the van for you. 940 00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:48,810 Everything you need is in there. 941 00:47:48,890 --> 00:47:52,640 You know, when Malcolm told me he was giving you an A2 security clearance, 942 00:47:52,720 --> 00:47:54,270 I advised him against it. 943 00:47:54,350 --> 00:47:56,310 B2B normally keep lowlifes like you 944 00:47:56,390 --> 00:47:59,100 away from high-value cargo for a reason... 945 00:47:59,180 --> 00:48:00,970 Temptation. 946 00:48:01,060 --> 00:48:03,060 You forgot to put the keys to the van inside the envelope, Martin. 947 00:48:04,680 --> 00:48:07,770 I've read your human resources profile. 948 00:48:07,850 --> 00:48:10,970 My personal record is meant to be confidential, 949 00:48:11,060 --> 00:48:13,100 but for your personal record, Martin, 950 00:48:13,180 --> 00:48:15,720 I'm a different person now. Give me the fucking keys. 951 00:48:15,810 --> 00:48:17,270 Perhaps Malcolm didn't tell you. 952 00:48:17,350 --> 00:48:18,970 The estimated value of tonight's cargo 953 00:48:19,060 --> 00:48:22,310 out of Selfridges is £50,000. 954 00:48:22,390 --> 00:48:25,140 The value of your collection from Harvey Nichols on Friday 955 00:48:25,220 --> 00:48:26,890 is just under £100,000. 956 00:48:26,970 --> 00:48:28,310 But on Saturday night, 957 00:48:28,390 --> 00:48:30,220 when you go to Harrods, 958 00:48:30,310 --> 00:48:33,350 you'll be driving away from the world's most glamorous department store 959 00:48:33,430 --> 00:48:35,640 with jewelry and accessories in your van 960 00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:37,850 worth over three million pounds. 961 00:48:38,560 --> 00:48:39,680 Now think on this. 962 00:48:39,770 --> 00:48:41,390 You'll be wearing a mask and gloves, 963 00:48:41,470 --> 00:48:43,390 you'll be using a false identity. 964 00:48:43,470 --> 00:48:45,100 Outside, the streets will be empty. 965 00:48:45,180 --> 00:48:46,600 Store security on quarter staff 966 00:48:46,680 --> 00:48:48,850 with big holes caused by absences. 967 00:48:48,930 --> 00:48:50,520 What more could a lowlife need 968 00:48:50,600 --> 00:48:52,140 to pull off the perfect robbery. 969 00:48:52,220 --> 00:48:54,560 You refer to me as "lowlife" one more time... 970 00:48:54,640 --> 00:48:56,720 You'll what? Revert to type. 971 00:48:56,810 --> 00:48:59,020 Okay, here goes, one more time. 972 00:48:59,100 --> 00:49:01,470 Lowlife. 973 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:04,600 You know, Malcolm told me that if you do okay in the next few nights, 974 00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,890 he's gonna put you in customer services. 975 00:49:06,970 --> 00:49:09,020 Goin' out and meeting clients. 976 00:49:09,100 --> 00:49:10,470 'Cause you're so funny 977 00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:13,270 and you're so dry and you make the girls laugh. 978 00:49:13,350 --> 00:49:15,020 Whereas I've been stuck in dispatches 979 00:49:15,100 --> 00:49:16,810 for seven and a half years. 980 00:49:16,890 --> 00:49:19,270 You have to stop thinking the whole world's against you, Martin. 981 00:49:23,430 --> 00:49:25,220 Do it, Paxton. 982 00:49:25,310 --> 00:49:28,520 Take the opportunity that fate has given you. 983 00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,350 [wind howling] 984 00:49:36,100 --> 00:49:39,310 Exactly how much product do Eve Schwarz have in Harrods? 985 00:49:39,390 --> 00:49:42,640 Uh, approximately three million pounds' jewelry and accessories. 986 00:49:42,720 --> 00:49:43,970 Harrods wants everything out of the store 987 00:49:44,060 --> 00:49:45,310 and it's our responsibility... 988 00:49:45,390 --> 00:49:47,390 Oh, you've frozen, Linda. 989 00:49:48,180 --> 00:49:50,020 [Linda] Can you hear me? 990 00:49:50,100 --> 00:49:52,390 Yeah, I can hear you, just your face is frozen. 991 00:49:52,470 --> 00:49:56,350 You've got this look of exasperation. 992 00:49:56,430 --> 00:50:00,640 Uh, someone's gonna have to go into Harrods and pack the valuables up 993 00:50:00,720 --> 00:50:03,640 and check the inventory and count everything out. 994 00:50:03,720 --> 00:50:05,270 And it's gonna have to be someone that we trust. 995 00:50:05,350 --> 00:50:07,470 Someone who is familiar with the stock, 996 00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:09,180 and knows how the Harrods system works. 997 00:50:09,270 --> 00:50:11,270 So that means, inevitably, it's going to be me, isn't it? 998 00:50:11,350 --> 00:50:13,930 Okay, but there's this, another second reason for this call. 999 00:50:14,020 --> 00:50:17,270 Michael Essien has decided. He wants to give you a promotion. 1000 00:50:17,350 --> 00:50:19,270 [woman] He wants to bring you home. 1001 00:50:19,350 --> 00:50:22,850 Back to New York to run the East Coast. 1002 00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:24,930 Uh... 1003 00:50:25,020 --> 00:50:26,970 Wow, God. Um... 1004 00:50:27,060 --> 00:50:28,390 Exciting. 1005 00:50:28,470 --> 00:50:29,810 A unexpected turn of events 1006 00:50:29,890 --> 00:50:31,350 and cheap wine don't pair well together. 1007 00:50:31,430 --> 00:50:34,890 Um, I'm gonna have to, uh, really think about this. 1008 00:50:34,970 --> 00:50:37,270 Uh, right, good night. 1009 00:50:37,350 --> 00:50:38,310 Yeah, thank you. 1010 00:50:38,390 --> 00:50:39,850 I mean... [hesitates] 1011 00:50:39,930 --> 00:50:41,270 - [man] Linda, it's exciting... - [line disconnects] 1012 00:50:41,350 --> 00:50:42,390 [Linda exclaims] 1013 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,350 A frozen look of exasperation. 1014 00:50:48,430 --> 00:50:53,470 [man on radio] ...and that is his second son, Carl Philipp Emauel Bach 1015 00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:55,470 and here's his Symphony No. 4. 1016 00:50:55,560 --> 00:50:58,720 [classical music playing on radio] 1017 00:51:54,020 --> 00:51:55,600 [clanging] 1018 00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:57,180 It's just that after our call last night, 1019 00:51:57,270 --> 00:51:59,220 we became worried about Paxton's state of mind. 1020 00:51:59,310 --> 00:52:01,430 We worry that he might implode or explode. 1021 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,930 [Maria] Knowing Paxton, he'll probably implode rather than explode. 1022 00:52:04,020 --> 00:52:05,810 What's the difference? 1023 00:52:05,890 --> 00:52:08,020 [Maria] When you implode, you withdraw within yourself, 1024 00:52:08,100 --> 00:52:10,220 when you explode, you impose yourself on the outer world. 1025 00:52:10,310 --> 00:52:12,270 David, for example, when he gets angry, he implodes. 1026 00:52:12,350 --> 00:52:14,060 When I get angry, I explode. 1027 00:52:14,140 --> 00:52:16,310 - I can also explode if I have to. - Rarely. 1028 00:52:16,390 --> 00:52:17,890 [chuckles] You've obviously never seen me in business meetings. 1029 00:52:17,970 --> 00:52:20,060 Well, actually I have. Since lockdown. 1030 00:52:20,140 --> 00:52:21,970 [David] You've heard me through the wall, you haven't seen me. 1031 00:52:22,060 --> 00:52:23,430 [Maria] Okay, then, I haven't heard you explode. 1032 00:52:23,520 --> 00:52:25,020 I've actually been very surprised 1033 00:52:25,100 --> 00:52:27,270 about how submissive you are in meetings. 1034 00:52:27,350 --> 00:52:29,470 - Submissive? - You're the boss, David, you should act like the boss. 1035 00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:32,310 - Anyway, just to reassure you, Paxton's okay. - [indistinct argument] 1036 00:52:32,390 --> 00:52:34,770 In fact, Paxton maybe getting a promotion. 1037 00:52:35,810 --> 00:52:37,680 Linda, are you drinking alone? 1038 00:52:37,770 --> 00:52:40,430 No, I've got three firemen waiting for me in the kitchen. 1039 00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,270 Since lockdown, David has been drinking so much more. 1040 00:52:43,350 --> 00:52:47,220 Yes, David, isn't it wonderful? 1041 00:52:47,310 --> 00:52:49,770 We now keep a record. We count the bottles. 1042 00:52:49,850 --> 00:52:51,930 - I don't care. - Your body cares. 1043 00:52:52,020 --> 00:52:54,350 Your body counts the bottles and keeps an inventory in you liver. 1044 00:52:54,430 --> 00:52:58,770 David, my fellow drinker, I'd like to tell you a secret. 1045 00:52:58,850 --> 00:53:01,100 - What secret? - You know, Linda, 1046 00:53:01,180 --> 00:53:03,180 there have been many occasions in my life 1047 00:53:03,270 --> 00:53:05,310 where I've had a few glasses of wine and in the next morning, 1048 00:53:05,390 --> 00:53:08,100 I woke up like, "Golly. Wow. I wish I hadn't said that." 1049 00:53:08,180 --> 00:53:11,180 Oh, I've done that so many times, too. 1050 00:53:11,270 --> 00:53:13,350 You know, my mantra is, secrets and wine 1051 00:53:13,430 --> 00:53:15,350 - don't go great together. - Let her tell me the secret. 1052 00:53:15,430 --> 00:53:17,100 I think he's gonna like this secret. 1053 00:53:17,180 --> 00:53:18,720 I think you're gonna like this secret, David, very much. 1054 00:53:18,810 --> 00:53:20,770 Something he's gonna like, you don't know. 1055 00:53:20,850 --> 00:53:22,720 - No, he might not. - What the fuck are you two talking about? 1056 00:53:22,810 --> 00:53:24,180 - [Linda] The secret is this. - He might not be in a place 1057 00:53:24,270 --> 00:53:25,640 where it's okay. He watches Fox. 1058 00:53:25,720 --> 00:53:27,770 It is I who am buying Paxton's motorbike. 1059 00:53:30,350 --> 00:53:32,020 [David] What? 1060 00:53:32,100 --> 00:53:33,470 When he said he was selling it, 1061 00:53:33,560 --> 00:53:35,850 I arranged a dealer to buy it anonymously. 1062 00:53:35,930 --> 00:53:37,930 I'm gonna buy it and give it back to him. 1063 00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:39,680 My parting gift. 1064 00:53:45,140 --> 00:53:47,310 For a while I've known I had to leave him. 1065 00:53:47,390 --> 00:53:48,470 But... 1066 00:53:50,390 --> 00:53:53,560 But losing the bike, yeah, that's too much. 1067 00:53:55,220 --> 00:53:56,970 And the bike means something to me, too. 1068 00:53:57,060 --> 00:53:59,270 You know, youth. 1069 00:53:59,350 --> 00:54:04,970 Cigarettes. Bad, bad wine chosen by Paxton. 1070 00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,930 [sighs] 1071 00:54:09,020 --> 00:54:10,640 - [David] Wow, that's... - Linda, that's awesome. 1072 00:54:10,720 --> 00:54:12,600 But here's the thing, David. I want you to tell him 1073 00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:14,560 that it's you who is buying the bike 1074 00:54:14,640 --> 00:54:16,310 and giving it back to him. I don't want him to know that it's me. 1075 00:54:18,430 --> 00:54:19,720 [David] Why? 1076 00:54:21,180 --> 00:54:22,560 It'll hurt him less. 1077 00:54:23,890 --> 00:54:25,680 He really is quite prehistoric. 1078 00:54:25,770 --> 00:54:27,020 [breathes heavily] 1079 00:54:27,100 --> 00:54:29,430 I'm a bit drunk and I hate people 1080 00:54:29,520 --> 00:54:31,100 who get emotional on these things, so... 1081 00:54:31,180 --> 00:54:32,930 [call ends] 1082 00:54:40,850 --> 00:54:42,180 [exhales] 1083 00:54:44,350 --> 00:54:46,220 [sobbing] 1084 00:54:54,270 --> 00:54:55,560 Fuck. 1085 00:54:59,470 --> 00:55:04,720 [saucepans clanging] 1086 00:55:09,350 --> 00:55:11,680 [woman] Making noise for the NHS. 1087 00:55:15,310 --> 00:55:18,930 [man on radio] We've got Beethoven's Piano Concerto No. 3. 1088 00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:28,810 [horn honking] 1089 00:55:28,890 --> 00:55:30,430 - [Paxton] Whoo! - [classical music playing] 1090 00:55:35,140 --> 00:55:37,430 [yelling] 1091 00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:38,640 Whoo! 1092 00:55:41,270 --> 00:55:42,640 [horn honking] 1093 00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:44,470 [yelling] 1094 00:55:46,930 --> 00:55:48,890 [people cheering] 1095 00:56:05,140 --> 00:56:06,310 Hey. 1096 00:56:08,140 --> 00:56:10,140 Couldn't sleep. 1097 00:56:10,220 --> 00:56:13,430 If the wine didn't work, go and lick the garden. 1098 00:56:13,520 --> 00:56:15,930 [Linda chuckles] How was it tonight? 1099 00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:20,720 Every security person I met was under the age of 12, 1100 00:56:20,810 --> 00:56:23,180 and every one of them was too busy playing Fortnite 1101 00:56:23,270 --> 00:56:25,060 to fully acknowledge my ID. 1102 00:56:25,140 --> 00:56:28,520 Anyway, I think for the young generation, great literature is dead. 1103 00:56:28,600 --> 00:56:32,310 I could have had an ID card with William Shakespeare on it. 1104 00:56:32,390 --> 00:56:34,770 [chuckles] How many more pick-ups do you have? 1105 00:56:34,850 --> 00:56:37,640 Um, tomorrow, Harvey Nichols 1106 00:56:37,720 --> 00:56:39,970 and then, Saturday, Harrods. 1107 00:56:40,060 --> 00:56:41,470 [gulps] 1108 00:56:41,560 --> 00:56:43,220 [coughs] Harrods? Saturday night? 1109 00:56:43,310 --> 00:56:45,140 It's all gone mad out there. 1110 00:56:45,220 --> 00:56:48,970 One of the security guards was telling me about franchise managers 1111 00:56:49,060 --> 00:56:52,970 are taking out diamond rings and watches in plastic bags 1112 00:56:53,060 --> 00:56:54,520 and getting into Ubers. 1113 00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,470 What are you taking out of Harrods? 1114 00:56:56,560 --> 00:56:58,100 I don't know. 1115 00:56:58,180 --> 00:57:00,100 Martin says it's over three million pounds worth. 1116 00:57:00,180 --> 00:57:02,390 No co-drivers 'cause of COVID. 1117 00:57:02,470 --> 00:57:04,680 Carrying it to where? 1118 00:57:04,770 --> 00:57:08,390 Uh, the docket says Heathrow. Ten o'clock flight to New York. 1119 00:57:08,470 --> 00:57:10,770 Harrods to Heathrow, Saturday night, 1120 00:57:10,850 --> 00:57:13,180 three million pounds, ten o'clock flight. 1121 00:57:13,270 --> 00:57:15,100 Look, there's the hedgehog. 1122 00:57:17,770 --> 00:57:19,060 Oh, no, he's gone. 1123 00:57:19,140 --> 00:57:20,810 [rain pattering] 1124 00:57:20,890 --> 00:57:22,350 Ah, he's gone. 1125 00:57:24,310 --> 00:57:25,560 How was your evening? 1126 00:57:26,470 --> 00:57:28,850 Okay, um, Paxton. Here it is. 1127 00:57:28,930 --> 00:57:31,720 You can't do that pick-up at Harrods on Saturday. 1128 00:57:31,810 --> 00:57:34,180 You really can't. 1129 00:57:34,270 --> 00:57:35,520 What are you talking about? 1130 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,430 Okay, do you remember once I asked you, 1131 00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:38,970 do you believe in God, and you said that 1132 00:57:39,060 --> 00:57:42,140 you believe that he's busy on another project, 1133 00:57:42,220 --> 00:57:43,720 but occasionally he puts his head around the door? 1134 00:57:43,810 --> 00:57:45,810 Well, I think this may be one of those occasions, 1135 00:57:45,890 --> 00:57:49,810 'cause God or fate or the virus or somebody put our paths on the cross. 1136 00:57:49,890 --> 00:57:51,390 [inhales] 1137 00:57:51,470 --> 00:57:53,390 On Saturday, I will be in Harrods packing up the cargo 1138 00:57:53,470 --> 00:57:55,220 that you are due to carry. 1139 00:57:55,310 --> 00:57:56,890 Fuck. 1140 00:57:56,970 --> 00:57:58,600 What are you talkin' about? I... 1141 00:57:59,350 --> 00:58:01,720 I have to do the pick-up. 1142 00:58:01,810 --> 00:58:03,560 If you do, you will be caught. 1143 00:58:03,640 --> 00:58:05,270 It doesn't matter what name you're using. 1144 00:58:05,350 --> 00:58:06,890 It's a fake name and I have implemented cross-checks. 1145 00:58:06,970 --> 00:58:08,560 You won't make it past the door. 1146 00:58:08,640 --> 00:58:12,020 I know, because it's my system that will stop you! 1147 00:58:18,810 --> 00:58:21,720 I'm sorry. And what the fuck, don't even begin. 1148 00:58:21,810 --> 00:58:24,890 I can't fucking get anywhere! 1149 00:58:29,600 --> 00:58:31,520 I mean... 1150 00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:33,310 Can't you just tell them that you know me? 1151 00:58:33,390 --> 00:58:34,770 That... 1152 00:58:34,850 --> 00:58:37,810 That you know I can be trusted. That I am your... 1153 00:58:39,220 --> 00:58:41,220 That I was your partner. 1154 00:58:45,100 --> 00:58:46,890 - What? - It doesn't work like that. 1155 00:58:47,390 --> 00:58:48,770 And I... 1156 00:58:50,810 --> 00:58:52,520 Since joining Miracore three years ago, 1157 00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:55,270 I haven't told anyone I have a partner. 1158 00:58:55,350 --> 00:58:58,100 Partly because I wanted to keep work separate. 1159 00:58:58,180 --> 00:59:00,100 Yeah, but mostly because you were embarrassed 1160 00:59:00,180 --> 00:59:01,720 to have a partner that drives a van. 1161 00:59:04,100 --> 00:59:06,970 Yes. All of the above. I... [exhales] 1162 00:59:07,060 --> 00:59:09,180 But now, I am looking at myself. 1163 00:59:09,270 --> 00:59:11,140 Since lockdown, I'm looking back at myself 1164 00:59:11,220 --> 00:59:12,890 like that was then and this is now. 1165 00:59:12,970 --> 00:59:14,600 Well, good for you, Linda, 1166 00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:16,180 but if I don't make this collection on Saturday night, 1167 00:59:16,270 --> 00:59:19,600 then, not only will Malcolm not promote me, 1168 00:59:19,680 --> 00:59:21,020 he will fire me. 1169 00:59:22,720 --> 00:59:25,140 I could always start dealing heroin. 1170 00:59:26,220 --> 00:59:27,810 Lowlife is lowlife. 1171 00:59:30,890 --> 00:59:34,270 No job. No bike. 1172 00:59:36,720 --> 00:59:37,770 No you. 1173 00:59:49,600 --> 00:59:53,020 When I worked at Harrods, I had so much fun. 1174 00:59:53,100 --> 00:59:55,470 I knew everyone. Everyone knew me. 1175 00:59:55,560 --> 00:59:57,310 Most of them still work there... 1176 00:59:57,390 --> 00:59:58,890 Is there any possibility we might get back to me for a moment? 1177 00:59:58,970 --> 01:00:00,020 I mean, I'm the one whose life is fucked. 1178 01:00:00,100 --> 01:00:01,520 No, no, this is about you. 1179 01:00:01,600 --> 01:00:03,310 All right, I know all the security guards, everyone. 1180 01:00:03,390 --> 01:00:06,020 - I know the security systems. - So? 1181 01:00:06,100 --> 01:00:08,100 So there is a way for you to make your pick-up at Harrods 1182 01:00:08,180 --> 01:00:09,930 and deliver to Heathrow without getting caught. 1183 01:00:10,020 --> 01:00:12,310 You will get your promotion and I will get my stock removed 1184 01:00:12,390 --> 01:00:13,520 and no one will know. 1185 01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,390 But we will be breaking the law. 1186 01:00:15,470 --> 01:00:20,020 So you're gonna have to do absolutely everything I tell you to do. 1187 01:00:20,100 --> 01:00:23,270 [alarm ringing] 1188 01:00:43,470 --> 01:00:46,680 [Michael] Michael Morgan. Acting Deputy Head, Harrods' Events Security. 1189 01:00:46,770 --> 01:00:48,810 Yes, you are in my old department. 1190 01:00:48,890 --> 01:00:50,680 How's life at Harrods? 1191 01:00:50,770 --> 01:00:52,890 I only just joined. I used to be in the Royal Navy. 1192 01:00:52,970 --> 01:00:54,720 Oh, quite a change then. 1193 01:00:54,810 --> 01:00:57,220 Not really. No, Harrods is like a big ship. 1194 01:00:57,310 --> 01:00:58,770 [Linda] Oh. Okay. 1195 01:00:58,850 --> 01:01:01,310 I mean, there are, obviously, huge differences. 1196 01:01:01,390 --> 01:01:03,020 Of course. 1197 01:01:03,100 --> 01:01:04,890 Yeah, and not just in terms of the shape of the building 1198 01:01:04,970 --> 01:01:07,720 or the fact that it doesn't float. 1199 01:01:07,810 --> 01:01:09,720 - You know, it's... - Oh, yeah. 1200 01:01:09,810 --> 01:01:12,220 Yeah, the working environment must be very different, I imagine. 1201 01:01:12,310 --> 01:01:14,600 Yes, it is. Lot of women here. 1202 01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:16,060 - Yeah. - Yes. 1203 01:01:16,140 --> 01:01:17,930 Yeah, on the ship, there was only four. 1204 01:01:18,020 --> 01:01:19,640 And, uh, two of them were called Karen. 1205 01:01:19,720 --> 01:01:21,770 Called them Karen one and Karen two. 1206 01:01:21,850 --> 01:01:23,470 I think Kate's meant to be joining us? 1207 01:01:23,560 --> 01:01:25,100 - Kate Smith, yes, from Events. - Oh. 1208 01:01:25,180 --> 01:01:26,310 When I knew her, she was Kate Wiley. 1209 01:01:26,390 --> 01:01:28,600 She must have gotten married. 1210 01:01:28,680 --> 01:01:30,140 Yeah, she did get married, yeah, but it all went horribly wrong, I think. 1211 01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:32,180 Oh, sorry to hear that. 1212 01:01:32,270 --> 01:01:34,180 What happened? 1213 01:01:34,270 --> 01:01:35,770 I don't know. They don't talk to me about that sort of thing. 1214 01:01:35,850 --> 01:01:37,720 - [laptop chimes] - Linda! 1215 01:01:37,810 --> 01:01:39,060 Katie! 1216 01:01:39,140 --> 01:01:40,770 Oh my God, Oh, my God. How are you? 1217 01:01:40,850 --> 01:01:43,100 Oh, my gosh. You know, I'm surviving. 1218 01:01:43,180 --> 01:01:44,600 Linda, you have gone off like a rocket! 1219 01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:45,850 - Oh, stop. - I mean, my God. 1220 01:01:45,930 --> 01:01:47,430 When they said CEO Miracore, 1221 01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:49,430 I thought, "Okay, God, some bald man," 1222 01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:51,600 - but then I saw your name. - [Linda laughs] 1223 01:01:51,680 --> 01:01:54,720 Linda was just asking what went wrong with your marriage. She... 1224 01:01:54,810 --> 01:01:57,640 - was just askin'. -No. No, no, no. I wasn't. I didn't. 1225 01:01:57,720 --> 01:01:59,310 When a man is shorter than you 1226 01:01:59,390 --> 01:02:00,810 and then suddenly decides 1227 01:02:00,890 --> 01:02:02,680 to let his beard grow very, very long 1228 01:02:02,770 --> 01:02:05,100 and then becomes obsessed with so called "white magic," 1229 01:02:05,180 --> 01:02:07,140 it can just get very creepy very quickly. 1230 01:02:07,220 --> 01:02:09,310 - [Linda chuckles] - Anyway, what can we do for you? 1231 01:02:09,390 --> 01:02:11,430 [Linda] I have an update about the Eve Schwarz clear-out on Saturday. 1232 01:02:11,520 --> 01:02:13,350 You see, all the secure freight companies have been booked 1233 01:02:13,430 --> 01:02:15,890 and it looks like our logistics department was late to the party. 1234 01:02:15,970 --> 01:02:17,810 Eve Schwarz, Miracore. Here it is. 1235 01:02:17,890 --> 01:02:19,390 They've booked a freight company that I've never used before, 1236 01:02:19,470 --> 01:02:20,720 so that's why I'm anxious. 1237 01:02:20,810 --> 01:02:23,020 Lime green is the color and, uh... 1238 01:02:23,100 --> 01:02:24,810 [Katie] So you're anxious about the freight company? 1239 01:02:24,890 --> 01:02:26,600 It's gonna be green arrows pointing... 1240 01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:28,020 So if it's okay with you, 1241 01:02:28,100 --> 01:02:29,720 I know the Harrods security system 1242 01:02:29,810 --> 01:02:31,640 and I'd like to run the checks on the driver myself. 1243 01:02:31,720 --> 01:02:33,310 Oh, no, no, that's Imran's job. That's... 1244 01:02:33,390 --> 01:02:35,020 Do you remember Imran, Linda? 1245 01:02:35,100 --> 01:02:36,430 I love Imran... 1246 01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:37,520 Imran is now head of Events security. 1247 01:02:37,600 --> 01:02:39,020 He's Michael's boss. 1248 01:02:39,100 --> 01:02:40,140 You got any questions. I can handle everything. 1249 01:02:40,220 --> 01:02:41,720 Let me text him now. 1250 01:02:41,810 --> 01:02:42,680 Don't, I'm gonna be the one with the arrows. So... 1251 01:02:42,770 --> 01:02:43,680 [knock on door] 1252 01:02:43,770 --> 01:02:44,770 [door opens] 1253 01:02:45,810 --> 01:02:47,100 Okay. Done. 1254 01:02:47,180 --> 01:02:48,350 Tomorrow, I'll run you through the system myself 1255 01:02:48,430 --> 01:02:49,640 and then get you into the store. 1256 01:02:49,720 --> 01:02:50,890 After that, what can go wrong? 1257 01:02:50,970 --> 01:02:53,350 Hey, great. Thanks. 1258 01:02:53,430 --> 01:02:55,520 I really appreciate you doing this for me. 1259 01:02:58,140 --> 01:03:00,890 - What's the matter? - I don't know. 1260 01:03:00,970 --> 01:03:02,600 Days are passing quickly. 1261 01:03:04,470 --> 01:03:05,680 When I woke up this morning, 1262 01:03:05,770 --> 01:03:08,520 it really hit me for the first time. 1263 01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:10,930 The reality of what's happening hit me. 1264 01:03:12,430 --> 01:03:14,470 The lockdown will eventually end. 1265 01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:16,560 Then... 1266 01:03:18,270 --> 01:03:20,310 the love of my life will be gone. 1267 01:03:22,640 --> 01:03:25,890 Paxton, you will move on from this. You will heal. 1268 01:03:25,970 --> 01:03:28,930 There'll be a huge hole in my life. 1269 01:03:29,020 --> 01:03:32,600 You'll change and grow. And... 1270 01:03:34,310 --> 01:03:36,720 Eventually you'll... 1271 01:03:36,810 --> 01:03:37,970 you'll meet someone else. 1272 01:03:43,970 --> 01:03:46,220 You were talking about the bike, weren't you? 1273 01:03:46,810 --> 01:03:48,060 Yeah. Why? 1274 01:03:49,930 --> 01:03:54,390 [chuckles] The bike is one of the loves of my life. 1275 01:03:54,470 --> 01:03:55,640 And I am one of the holes? 1276 01:03:55,720 --> 01:03:57,310 Obviously you're the biggest hole. 1277 01:03:57,390 --> 01:03:58,430 Oh, why, thank you. 1278 01:03:58,520 --> 01:04:00,310 [Paxton laughs] 1279 01:04:00,390 --> 01:04:02,770 I was gonna take the bike out today. 1280 01:04:02,850 --> 01:04:05,970 The streets are completely deserted. 1281 01:04:06,060 --> 01:04:08,560 I was gonna call it "Lockdown-one-last-ride." 1282 01:04:09,310 --> 01:04:10,810 I thought maybe... 1283 01:04:11,970 --> 01:04:14,390 Oh, no, I can't go with you, Paxton. 1284 01:04:14,470 --> 01:04:16,220 No. I have an important meeting. 1285 01:04:20,850 --> 01:04:23,390 An open road and a broken heart. 1286 01:04:25,180 --> 01:04:26,600 Don't kill yourself. 1287 01:04:32,100 --> 01:04:33,810 - Linda! - Michael. 1288 01:04:34,600 --> 01:04:36,640 How are you coping? 1289 01:04:36,720 --> 01:04:38,310 You know, it's been quite difficult. 1290 01:04:38,390 --> 01:04:40,560 - [laughs] I can imagine. - Mmm. 1291 01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,520 - [motorbike engine starts] - You know, I'm locked up on a mountaintop 1292 01:04:42,600 --> 01:04:44,810 with only eagles and bears and my family for company. 1293 01:04:44,890 --> 01:04:46,680 [Linda whispers] Please don't kill yourself. 1294 01:04:46,770 --> 01:04:48,180 What? 1295 01:04:48,270 --> 01:04:50,770 I said it must be nice to have time to yourself. 1296 01:04:50,850 --> 01:04:53,810 Anyway, before we get on to the exciting business of you 1297 01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:56,060 and your big decision to come home to New York, 1298 01:04:56,140 --> 01:04:59,350 the good news is that we have found a buyer for the Harris Diamond. 1299 01:04:59,430 --> 01:05:01,310 Uh, actually, I haven't decided to come home to New York. 1300 01:05:01,390 --> 01:05:04,430 The buyer saw the diamond on the virtual presentation 1301 01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,770 that you put together ahead of the store takeover. 1302 01:05:06,850 --> 01:05:08,680 That's great. Who is it? 1303 01:05:08,770 --> 01:05:11,680 [laughs] In our new world, Linda, 1304 01:05:11,770 --> 01:05:13,310 one does not ask who. He's anonymous. 1305 01:05:13,390 --> 01:05:15,520 But I can tell you this. He's, um... 1306 01:05:15,600 --> 01:05:18,060 A very unpleasant member of a very unpleasant family 1307 01:05:18,140 --> 01:05:22,390 who run a very unpleasant country in a very unpleasant way. 1308 01:05:22,470 --> 01:05:23,770 Oh. 1309 01:05:23,850 --> 01:05:25,890 He is facilitating Miracore in his country 1310 01:05:25,970 --> 01:05:28,680 and so I've brokered the purchase of the diamond personally. 1311 01:05:28,770 --> 01:05:31,520 Harrods themselves will have nothing to do with him, 1312 01:05:31,600 --> 01:05:34,520 so I have acted as go-between. 1313 01:05:35,640 --> 01:05:37,390 Hurray for us, no? 1314 01:05:37,470 --> 01:05:39,100 Yes, hurray for us. 1315 01:05:39,180 --> 01:05:42,100 Uh, will he be wanting to pick up the diamond in person? 1316 01:05:42,180 --> 01:05:45,640 He is not allowed into the UK. Something to do with, um... 1317 01:05:45,720 --> 01:05:48,390 Money laundering? Human rights abuses? 1318 01:05:48,470 --> 01:05:51,310 Anyway, the big question, Linda, 1319 01:05:51,390 --> 01:05:54,600 the issue at hand here is the future of Linda. 1320 01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:56,390 When will you be coming home? 1321 01:05:57,180 --> 01:05:58,680 Um... 1322 01:05:58,770 --> 01:06:01,180 Well, I've decided to leave my decision about New York 1323 01:06:01,270 --> 01:06:03,350 until after lockdown is lifted. 1324 01:06:03,430 --> 01:06:07,310 - Okay. - I have lots of ties in London. 1325 01:06:07,390 --> 01:06:09,520 Uh-huh. I was told that you're single. 1326 01:06:11,970 --> 01:06:13,470 [chuckles] 1327 01:06:13,560 --> 01:06:17,270 Actually, that was never true, but actually now it is. 1328 01:06:17,350 --> 01:06:21,390 The fact that you are single is one of the reasons I want you to come to New York. 1329 01:06:21,470 --> 01:06:23,560 I'm planning to get to know more about you. 1330 01:06:23,640 --> 01:06:24,720 You... 1331 01:06:24,810 --> 01:06:26,270 You fascinate me, Linda. 1332 01:06:26,350 --> 01:06:28,310 So tough on the outside, 1333 01:06:28,970 --> 01:06:30,180 but inside, 1334 01:06:31,350 --> 01:06:32,560 are you tough? 1335 01:06:35,680 --> 01:06:37,850 Do you remember when you came to Paris? 1336 01:06:37,930 --> 01:06:39,600 That evening, after the meeting, 1337 01:06:39,680 --> 01:06:41,430 I was going to take you out to dinner. 1338 01:06:41,520 --> 01:06:45,720 I was actually going to try to seduce you that night. 1339 01:06:45,810 --> 01:06:50,020 Well, I can only speculate what kind of evening that might have been. 1340 01:06:50,100 --> 01:06:54,100 But I suspect it would have involved broken glass. 1341 01:06:54,180 --> 01:06:56,180 Anyway, uh, should I send the diamond 1342 01:06:56,270 --> 01:06:58,020 to this probable mass murderer's home 1343 01:06:58,100 --> 01:07:01,180 or should I send it straight to his torture chamber? 1344 01:07:01,770 --> 01:07:03,060 What? 1345 01:07:03,140 --> 01:07:04,770 Where would you like me to send the diamond? 1346 01:07:05,890 --> 01:07:07,930 Ah, send it to New York. 1347 01:07:08,020 --> 01:07:10,810 Um, because of COVID, it will be couriered directly 1348 01:07:10,890 --> 01:07:13,310 to a safe vault in Wall Street. 1349 01:07:13,390 --> 01:07:15,430 There'll be no one to check it there, 1350 01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:19,970 so please make sure that the verification papers are in the box. 1351 01:07:20,060 --> 01:07:22,020 Got that? 1352 01:07:22,100 --> 01:07:24,970 - Um... - For many of our new wave of clients, 1353 01:07:25,060 --> 01:07:28,140 the act of acquisition is an end in itself. 1354 01:07:28,220 --> 01:07:30,520 Okay. See you in New York, Linda. Take care. 1355 01:07:30,600 --> 01:07:31,720 Well, I... 1356 01:07:31,810 --> 01:07:33,390 [call ends] 1357 01:07:37,600 --> 01:07:39,270 ♪ Stand and Deliver ♪ 1358 01:07:40,720 --> 01:07:42,140 ♪ I'm the dandy highwayman ♪ 1359 01:07:42,220 --> 01:07:43,810 ♪ Who you're too scared To mention ♪ 1360 01:07:43,890 --> 01:07:45,680 ♪ I spend my cash On looking flash ♪ 1361 01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:47,680 ♪ And grabbing your attention ♪ 1362 01:07:47,770 --> 01:07:50,640 ♪ The devil take your stereo And your record collection ♪ 1363 01:07:50,720 --> 01:07:52,390 ♪ The way you look You'll qualify ♪ 1364 01:07:52,470 --> 01:07:54,140 ♪ For next year's Old age pension ♪ 1365 01:07:54,220 --> 01:07:59,390 ♪ Stand and deliver Your money or your life ♪ 1366 01:08:00,970 --> 01:08:06,970 ♪ Try and use a mirror No bullet or a knife ♪ 1367 01:08:07,060 --> 01:08:08,430 [siren blaring] 1368 01:08:08,520 --> 01:08:10,100 [Linda screams] 1369 01:08:11,310 --> 01:08:13,810 ♪ No bullet or a knife ♪ 1370 01:08:15,560 --> 01:08:17,020 [Linda] Don't be ridiculous, Linda. 1371 01:08:17,100 --> 01:08:18,350 [panting] 1372 01:08:18,430 --> 01:08:20,060 [reporter on TV] A shortage of medical masks, 1373 01:08:20,140 --> 01:08:22,140 people are making their own from old clothing. 1374 01:08:22,220 --> 01:08:24,850 But the WHO said it doesn't know whether homemade masks... 1375 01:08:24,930 --> 01:08:26,220 [Linda] Hey. 1376 01:08:26,310 --> 01:08:27,350 - Where'd you go? - [Paxton exhales] 1377 01:08:27,430 --> 01:08:28,520 Peckham Rye. 1378 01:08:28,600 --> 01:08:31,020 - Why? - I don't know. 1379 01:08:31,100 --> 01:08:32,600 What do you mean, you don't know? 1380 01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,060 I was just driving really, really fast, [laughs] 1381 01:08:34,140 --> 01:08:36,310 because I was being chased by the police. 1382 01:08:36,390 --> 01:08:38,560 - What? - I was playing a new lockdown game. 1383 01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:41,520 Green for stop, red for go. 1384 01:08:41,600 --> 01:08:42,680 Fuck! 1385 01:08:42,770 --> 01:08:43,970 Did they get your license number? 1386 01:08:44,060 --> 01:08:45,680 No, I'm too fast for 'em. 1387 01:08:45,770 --> 01:08:47,930 I'm a streak of light on an empty road in a deserted city. 1388 01:08:48,020 --> 01:08:49,850 I'm the last man alive. 1389 01:08:49,930 --> 01:08:52,930 I let the road direct me and I achieved that moment of transcendence 1390 01:08:53,020 --> 01:08:55,100 where the bike becomes part of your body. 1391 01:08:55,180 --> 01:08:58,850 I found myself in South London on some sort of urban farm with a petting zoo 1392 01:08:58,930 --> 01:09:00,560 and I hid among the goats. 1393 01:09:00,640 --> 01:09:02,890 Remember the goat was my totem animal when we were pagans. 1394 01:09:02,970 --> 01:09:07,390 I sat with the goats and then resumed my journey as the police cars drove past. 1395 01:09:07,470 --> 01:09:09,060 I was in Peckham. 1396 01:09:09,140 --> 01:09:10,470 I bought you cigarettes. 1397 01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:12,220 And I had one myself. 1398 01:09:12,310 --> 01:09:14,930 My first real, real one in ten years. 1399 01:09:15,020 --> 01:09:18,390 And you were right, tobacco tastes like youth! 1400 01:09:18,470 --> 01:09:20,720 And real is real, and real tobacco is me really, 1401 01:09:20,810 --> 01:09:22,140 and I want another one right now 1402 01:09:22,220 --> 01:09:23,720 and I'm gonna have one. 1403 01:09:23,810 --> 01:09:25,390 [breathes heavily] 1404 01:09:26,310 --> 01:09:28,180 [indistinct talking on TV] 1405 01:09:37,390 --> 01:09:40,520 You have a look in your eyes I haven't seen in a long time. 1406 01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:42,140 I don't mean to frighten you. 1407 01:09:42,930 --> 01:09:44,180 I'm not frightened. 1408 01:09:45,890 --> 01:09:49,770 Remember I told you about the glass horse and jockey in Paris? 1409 01:09:49,850 --> 01:09:53,600 No, I'm still with the goats. They had blue eyes. 1410 01:09:53,680 --> 01:09:55,720 I held the horse and jockey by the jockey 1411 01:09:55,810 --> 01:09:58,100 and swung it around and... 1412 01:09:58,180 --> 01:10:00,180 And I remembered how it felt to be a rider 1413 01:10:00,270 --> 01:10:03,520 and to feel like you're a part of the thing that you are riding. 1414 01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:05,180 It's a sexual feeling. 1415 01:10:06,220 --> 01:10:07,430 Yeah, it is. 1416 01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:10,720 [exhales] I now wish I'd come with you. 1417 01:10:11,350 --> 01:10:12,640 Really? 1418 01:10:13,270 --> 01:10:15,140 Paxton, 1419 01:10:15,220 --> 01:10:18,770 for a long time, I've known that our relationship was over. 1420 01:10:18,850 --> 01:10:22,060 And for a long time, the only unbroken thread between us has been sex. 1421 01:10:23,350 --> 01:10:24,640 Go on. 1422 01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:27,430 I'm finding this moment difficult because... 1423 01:10:27,520 --> 01:10:29,270 I made a vow this wouldn't happen, 1424 01:10:29,350 --> 01:10:32,220 so could you just take the leather jacket off 1425 01:10:32,310 --> 01:10:33,970 and go hold a tea towel or something? 1426 01:10:34,060 --> 01:10:36,220 - Hold a tea towel? - Or buy some milk, it would help me. 1427 01:10:36,310 --> 01:10:39,140 - We have milk. - Or bake bread. That would definitely kill the moment. 1428 01:10:39,220 --> 01:10:41,470 I just want to get on my bike and ride 1429 01:10:41,560 --> 01:10:42,930 and fuck the world. 1430 01:10:46,020 --> 01:10:48,680 Okay, Paxton, here it is. 1431 01:10:50,270 --> 01:10:52,140 Probably as a result of lockdown, 1432 01:10:52,220 --> 01:10:54,640 you have a mad urge to ride your motorbike through red lights. 1433 01:10:54,720 --> 01:10:56,560 And as of two hours ago, I have a mad urge 1434 01:10:56,640 --> 01:10:58,180 to steal a diamond worth three million pounds 1435 01:10:58,270 --> 01:10:59,520 from a mass murderer 1436 01:10:59,600 --> 01:11:00,810 and quit my job and become an artist. 1437 01:11:00,890 --> 01:11:02,020 [snickers] What? 1438 01:11:02,100 --> 01:11:03,770 But I think the most practical thing 1439 01:11:03,850 --> 01:11:05,470 we can do to get this madness out of our system 1440 01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:08,310 is that I break my vow and we go upstairs right now 1441 01:11:08,390 --> 01:11:09,890 and have sex. 1442 01:11:09,970 --> 01:11:11,930 "Lockdown-one-last-ride." 1443 01:11:13,770 --> 01:11:15,850 Goats, now this. 1444 01:11:15,930 --> 01:11:17,640 What a fucking day. 1445 01:11:18,970 --> 01:11:21,100 [classical music playing] 1446 01:11:26,350 --> 01:11:29,720 Hi. Yeah, she's, uh, she's just changing. [chuckles] 1447 01:11:30,520 --> 01:11:32,100 Oh, by the way, 1448 01:11:32,180 --> 01:11:34,350 you ever heard of a poet called Edgar Allan Poe? 1449 01:11:34,430 --> 01:11:36,470 - What? - Yeah, never mind. 1450 01:11:36,560 --> 01:11:38,350 All right. One second. 1451 01:11:38,430 --> 01:11:39,890 [man on radio] You're listening to Drive Time with Dominic. 1452 01:11:39,970 --> 01:11:42,140 And this is George Frideric Handel. 1453 01:11:42,220 --> 01:11:43,890 [classical music playing] 1454 01:11:56,100 --> 01:11:59,560 [automated voice on phone] Please hang up or press the hash key for more options. 1455 01:11:59,640 --> 01:12:02,600 Uh, Linda, I'm just calling to say that 1456 01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:04,390 I know this afternoon didn't mean anything, 1457 01:12:04,470 --> 01:12:08,970 but I want you to know that it would have felt like, uh... 1458 01:12:09,930 --> 01:12:11,220 like South Dakota 1459 01:12:11,310 --> 01:12:13,020 that afternoon when it rained. 1460 01:12:14,140 --> 01:12:15,850 And also, I have this bizarre memory 1461 01:12:15,930 --> 01:12:18,430 that just before we strayed from the path of righteousness, 1462 01:12:18,520 --> 01:12:20,640 you said something about stealing a diamond. 1463 01:12:20,720 --> 01:12:22,390 [Paxton over phone] ...you said something about stealing a diamond. 1464 01:12:23,270 --> 01:12:24,930 Did I imagine that? 1465 01:12:25,020 --> 01:12:27,600 - [Linda] Oh, God! - [woman speaks indistinctly over phone] 1466 01:12:27,680 --> 01:12:28,890 Thank you. 1467 01:12:32,850 --> 01:12:36,270 No, Grandma, I am not seriously considering it. 1468 01:12:42,810 --> 01:12:44,560 [alarm ringing] 1469 01:12:46,350 --> 01:12:47,470 Fuck. 1470 01:12:53,850 --> 01:12:55,770 [alarm ringing] 1471 01:12:59,680 --> 01:13:03,350 [reporter on TV] This is where the patients usually recover post-surgery. 1472 01:13:03,430 --> 01:13:07,810 But now, it's needed for COVID-19 overflow from intensive care. 1473 01:13:07,890 --> 01:13:11,390 Hospitals are having to adapt their spaces and practices 1474 01:13:11,470 --> 01:13:13,720 to be able to deal with Coronavirus. 1475 01:13:13,810 --> 01:13:15,930 [nurse on TV] I've been a nurse in ICU for 18 years 1476 01:13:16,020 --> 01:13:17,720 - and I've never seen... - [TV shuts off] 1477 01:13:25,890 --> 01:13:27,100 All right. 1478 01:13:27,970 --> 01:13:30,810 Big Saturday. Harrods. 1479 01:13:32,970 --> 01:13:34,930 The grand deception. 1480 01:13:35,020 --> 01:13:37,350 You have to tell me exactly what it is we have to do. 1481 01:13:38,720 --> 01:13:39,850 Paxton... 1482 01:13:41,060 --> 01:13:42,310 [grunts softly] 1483 01:13:42,390 --> 01:13:43,930 Sit down. Wait there. 1484 01:13:48,100 --> 01:13:51,350 This is just us organizing what it is that we're gonna do, okay? 1485 01:13:51,430 --> 01:13:52,930 It's nothing else. 1486 01:13:53,020 --> 01:13:54,560 Why, what else would it be? 1487 01:13:54,640 --> 01:13:55,930 Nothing. Why do you ask? 1488 01:13:57,220 --> 01:13:58,680 Are you okay? 1489 01:13:58,770 --> 01:14:02,810 Me? I am okay. I am intensely okay and normal. 1490 01:14:02,890 --> 01:14:04,640 Okay. Background. 1491 01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:10,180 Harrods. The top part is the public area. 1492 01:14:10,270 --> 01:14:13,680 But below ground, there are seven floors. 1493 01:14:13,770 --> 01:14:15,600 Floors where merchandise is stored 1494 01:14:15,680 --> 01:14:16,930 and lots of tunnels 1495 01:14:17,020 --> 01:14:19,430 where expensive items such as jewelry 1496 01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:21,180 are transported to secure elevators. 1497 01:14:21,270 --> 01:14:22,850 All grown up and glamorous above 1498 01:14:22,930 --> 01:14:25,060 and efficient and scary below. 1499 01:14:25,140 --> 01:14:27,220 Security at Harrods is unbelievably tight, 1500 01:14:27,310 --> 01:14:28,520 it would be impossible to get inside 1501 01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:30,520 to actually steal something. 1502 01:14:30,600 --> 01:14:31,770 Steal? 1503 01:14:31,850 --> 01:14:34,310 Who's talking about stealing anything? 1504 01:14:34,390 --> 01:14:36,430 Everything is normal. Paxton, stop being weird. 1505 01:14:36,520 --> 01:14:39,220 It's not me being weird. 1506 01:14:39,310 --> 01:14:41,350 I mean, you clearly appear to have a hidden agenda, 1507 01:14:41,430 --> 01:14:43,560 which is not really that hidden, but I don't know what it is. 1508 01:14:43,640 --> 01:14:46,810 Also, you've got a smudge above your eye. 1509 01:14:46,890 --> 01:14:49,560 Did you get my message on your phone last night? 1510 01:14:49,640 --> 01:14:51,350 About South Dakota? 1511 01:14:52,180 --> 01:14:53,560 And about a diamond. 1512 01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:56,560 Paxton, what is the matter with you? 1513 01:14:56,640 --> 01:14:58,720 - There's nothing the matter with me. - Seriously? 1514 01:14:58,810 --> 01:15:02,720 Yesterday, you were talking about stealing a diamond. 1515 01:15:02,810 --> 01:15:04,810 You were, I'm not imagining it. 1516 01:15:04,890 --> 01:15:07,770 And today, you are drawing Harrods like it's, uh, 1517 01:15:07,850 --> 01:15:10,430 some kind of secret plan in a secret heist movie. 1518 01:15:10,520 --> 01:15:14,680 How can you draw a rectangle like you're in a secret plan? I don't... 1519 01:15:14,770 --> 01:15:16,270 Do you have a secret plan? 1520 01:15:17,140 --> 01:15:19,560 You know... [chuckles] 1521 01:15:19,640 --> 01:15:21,430 I saw my grandmother's face yesterday. 1522 01:15:21,520 --> 01:15:24,100 I told her, "It's okay, Grandma, I am fine. 1523 01:15:24,180 --> 01:15:26,100 I'm not going to do anything stupid." 1524 01:15:26,180 --> 01:15:28,770 You said the diamond is called a Harris Diamond. 1525 01:15:28,850 --> 01:15:31,270 Oh, Paxton, come on. 1526 01:15:31,350 --> 01:15:33,470 It's Saturday. It's morning. 1527 01:15:33,560 --> 01:15:38,520 All the weird 4:00 a.m. fantasies and options have gone away as they always do. 1528 01:15:38,600 --> 01:15:40,520 Tell me about the diamond. 1529 01:15:43,220 --> 01:15:45,770 There are two Harris Diamonds. 1530 01:15:45,850 --> 01:15:49,520 - What? - There are two Harris Diamonds, okay. God! 1531 01:15:49,600 --> 01:15:51,810 - Why are there two? - [exhales deeply] 1532 01:15:51,890 --> 01:15:54,680 Do you think I slept at all last night, Paxton? 1533 01:15:54,770 --> 01:15:56,890 Well actually, no, I didn't. 1534 01:15:56,970 --> 01:15:58,810 And what was it that kept you awake? 1535 01:16:00,850 --> 01:16:03,720 Harris Diamond one, Harris Diamond two. 1536 01:16:03,810 --> 01:16:08,970 One is real, the other is fake. 1537 01:16:09,060 --> 01:16:11,140 Whenever a diamond of this value is exhibited in store, 1538 01:16:11,220 --> 01:16:12,390 they use a replica of the real thing 1539 01:16:12,470 --> 01:16:13,970 to put into the public area. 1540 01:16:14,060 --> 01:16:16,600 The actual diamond is kept safe in the vaults. 1541 01:16:16,680 --> 01:16:19,270 Currently, the replica 1542 01:16:19,350 --> 01:16:21,930 is on display here on the ground floor. 1543 01:16:22,020 --> 01:16:27,720 But your real Harris Diamond is here in the vaults. 1544 01:16:27,810 --> 01:16:29,310 Tonight, at exactly 7:00 p.m., 1545 01:16:29,390 --> 01:16:30,680 you and I will be escorted to the vaults by security 1546 01:16:30,770 --> 01:16:32,430 to collect the real Harris Diamond. 1547 01:16:32,520 --> 01:16:34,520 We will then go up the ground floor 1548 01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:37,020 in a secure elevator where we add the diamond 1549 01:16:37,100 --> 01:16:38,890 to the rest of the Eve Schwarz collection. 1550 01:16:38,970 --> 01:16:41,140 Then, right there at 7:30 p.m., we will have the real diamond 1551 01:16:41,220 --> 01:16:43,640 and the very good replica diamond, side by side, 1552 01:16:43,720 --> 01:16:45,720 next to each other, almost indistinguishable. 1553 01:16:45,810 --> 01:16:47,470 And because of COVID restrictions, 1554 01:16:47,560 --> 01:16:51,640 the only people that will be there are you and me. 1555 01:16:51,720 --> 01:16:55,020 So, then we put the real diamond into a secure box 1556 01:16:55,100 --> 01:16:56,850 and send it to New York, and we take the glass replica 1557 01:16:56,930 --> 01:16:58,720 and I put it in my purse, we take it away for disposal, 1558 01:16:58,810 --> 01:17:00,430 and that is what we are going to fucking do, 1559 01:17:00,520 --> 01:17:03,520 exactly that and nothing else. Grandma, I love you. 1560 01:17:05,930 --> 01:17:07,520 May I ask a very obvious question? 1561 01:17:07,600 --> 01:17:09,020 No, you may not. 1562 01:17:09,100 --> 01:17:11,930 What would happen if we sent the replica to New York 1563 01:17:12,020 --> 01:17:13,350 and kept the real thing? 1564 01:17:13,430 --> 01:17:15,430 I'm assuming that as soon as it got to New York, 1565 01:17:15,520 --> 01:17:18,180 someone would realize that it was fake. 1566 01:17:18,270 --> 01:17:20,470 No, they wouldn't. 1567 01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:23,180 That is why I couldn't sleep. 1568 01:17:23,270 --> 01:17:25,430 Whichever one we send to New York, 1569 01:17:25,520 --> 01:17:27,600 it will go into a secure vault in Wall Street 1570 01:17:27,680 --> 01:17:29,600 and won't even be looked at by another human being 1571 01:17:29,680 --> 01:17:32,310 for 20, 50, 100 years. 1572 01:17:32,390 --> 01:17:33,640 Holy fuck. 1573 01:17:35,640 --> 01:17:39,220 Three million pounds, tax free. 1574 01:17:40,020 --> 01:17:41,100 No consequences. 1575 01:17:41,180 --> 01:17:42,390 One for me, one for you, one for the NHS. 1576 01:17:42,470 --> 01:17:43,560 You have thought about this. 1577 01:17:43,640 --> 01:17:46,720 You know, I need to go meditate. 1578 01:17:46,810 --> 01:17:48,890 Are you sure they won't check it in New York? 1579 01:17:48,970 --> 01:17:50,180 Shut up. I need to meditate. 1580 01:17:50,270 --> 01:17:51,680 What were you going to say? 1581 01:17:52,930 --> 01:17:54,680 The man who bought the diamond is bad. 1582 01:17:54,770 --> 01:17:56,640 He's really bad, and you and I are good. 1583 01:17:56,720 --> 01:17:58,930 And the NHS is good. And good is better than bad. 1584 01:17:59,020 --> 01:18:00,390 When I explained all that to Grandma, 1585 01:18:00,470 --> 01:18:01,850 even she said, "Well, yeah, that's true." 1586 01:18:01,930 --> 01:18:04,390 And she was a Calvinist, straight as a rod. 1587 01:18:04,470 --> 01:18:07,640 Unlike me, who is weak in the face of temptation. 1588 01:18:07,720 --> 01:18:08,810 [inhales deeply] 1589 01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:12,720 Live wild or die, Linda. 1590 01:18:12,810 --> 01:18:15,720 Paxton, you're forgetting something very important, okay? 1591 01:18:15,810 --> 01:18:17,850 Assuming that we do this thing, 1592 01:18:17,930 --> 01:18:19,930 which we definitely won't, 1593 01:18:20,020 --> 01:18:22,270 how would two ordinary people like you and me 1594 01:18:22,350 --> 01:18:26,680 find a way to sell a three million pounds stolen diamond? 1595 01:18:26,770 --> 01:18:28,350 Okay, that was it. That was my last attempt 1596 01:18:28,430 --> 01:18:29,930 to find a logical reason why we shouldn't do this, 1597 01:18:30,020 --> 01:18:32,100 but you are going to say "Archie Bruce," aren't you? 1598 01:18:32,180 --> 01:18:33,680 Yes, I am. 1599 01:18:34,560 --> 01:18:35,600 Archie Bruce. 1600 01:18:37,060 --> 01:18:40,140 Over the years, I've kept up with the guys. 1601 01:18:40,220 --> 01:18:41,430 I mean, Archie Bruce, 1602 01:18:41,520 --> 01:18:43,470 he's graduated from stealing motorcycles 1603 01:18:43,560 --> 01:18:45,970 to stealing vintage cars 1604 01:18:46,060 --> 01:18:47,970 and fine art and jewelry. 1605 01:18:48,060 --> 01:18:51,140 I mean, he'd have Mr. Harris in a penthouse in Moscow 1606 01:18:51,220 --> 01:18:52,970 before the banging of the next saucepans. 1607 01:18:53,060 --> 01:18:54,640 And he'd do a preferential deal with you, 1608 01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:56,890 because you stepped in one night and saved his life 1609 01:18:56,970 --> 01:18:59,850 at a roadhouse in Watford. 1610 01:18:59,930 --> 01:19:01,520 Circle of life, something like that. 1611 01:19:02,060 --> 01:19:03,470 [sighs] 1612 01:19:03,560 --> 01:19:06,310 With Archie Bruce, the nightmare began. 1613 01:19:06,390 --> 01:19:08,680 Maybe with Archie Bruce, the nightmare ends. 1614 01:19:10,890 --> 01:19:15,470 So, what are we going to do, Linda? 1615 01:19:18,930 --> 01:19:21,720 Okay, Paxton, here it is. 1616 01:19:23,970 --> 01:19:26,270 We decide tonight. 1617 01:19:26,350 --> 01:19:28,350 When we're there at Harrods with the diamonds, 1618 01:19:28,430 --> 01:19:30,020 we're gonna know what's right and what's wrong. 1619 01:19:30,100 --> 01:19:32,470 We'll decide in the moment. 1620 01:19:32,560 --> 01:19:33,970 Or let the moment decide. 1621 01:19:36,180 --> 01:19:37,270 What's the difference? 1622 01:19:37,350 --> 01:19:39,430 Fate versus free will. 1623 01:19:39,520 --> 01:19:41,270 Who controls our destiny? 1624 01:19:41,350 --> 01:19:42,640 Is everything part of a plan 1625 01:19:42,720 --> 01:19:44,680 or do we fuck things up for ourselves? 1626 01:19:46,310 --> 01:19:48,350 Tonight at 7:30, we find out. 1627 01:19:50,770 --> 01:19:53,600 [cell phone ringing] 1628 01:19:57,430 --> 01:19:58,520 Hey, half-brother. 1629 01:20:00,140 --> 01:20:02,560 What, now? You wanna Zoom? 1630 01:20:03,720 --> 01:20:05,640 All right, give me a minute. 1631 01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:12,600 [video chimes] 1632 01:20:12,680 --> 01:20:16,470 Ah, Paxton, how are you? 1633 01:20:16,560 --> 01:20:19,060 Actually, I am at a fork in the road. 1634 01:20:19,140 --> 01:20:21,470 Really? Then perhaps what I have to say 1635 01:20:21,560 --> 01:20:23,140 will have some bearing on which fork you take, 1636 01:20:23,220 --> 01:20:24,850 because it is sort of road related. 1637 01:20:24,930 --> 01:20:26,640 [David chuckles] 1638 01:20:26,720 --> 01:20:28,850 You see, Paxton, the other day when you said 1639 01:20:28,930 --> 01:20:30,560 you want to sell your motorcycle, 1640 01:20:30,640 --> 01:20:35,060 I thought, "Wait a minute. Time out. Not so fast." 1641 01:20:35,140 --> 01:20:40,390 And then, after I cut the call I thought about Mom. 1642 01:20:40,470 --> 01:20:41,850 Mum? 1643 01:20:41,930 --> 01:20:43,270 How she would feel about you having to sell 1644 01:20:43,350 --> 01:20:44,720 your most precious possession, 1645 01:20:44,810 --> 01:20:46,100 while at the same time, over here 1646 01:20:46,180 --> 01:20:47,930 in the beautiful Hudson Valley, 1647 01:20:48,020 --> 01:20:50,430 your brother, your half-brother isn't having it so bad. 1648 01:20:50,520 --> 01:20:54,970 You know, when the cherry trees in your orchard get a fungus, 1649 01:20:55,060 --> 01:20:57,680 it sucks, but there are worse things. 1650 01:20:59,850 --> 01:21:01,270 Yeah, not for the cherry tree. [chuckles] 1651 01:21:01,350 --> 01:21:02,600 Maybe worse for a cherry tree 1652 01:21:02,680 --> 01:21:04,140 is the steady tread of George Washington 1653 01:21:04,220 --> 01:21:05,470 as he approaches with an axe in his hand 1654 01:21:05,560 --> 01:21:07,430 and a head full of good intentions. 1655 01:21:07,520 --> 01:21:10,350 Anyway, I wondered what Mom would want me to do. 1656 01:21:10,430 --> 01:21:11,770 Well, remembering Mum, 1657 01:21:11,850 --> 01:21:13,430 I think she'd want you to get to the point. 1658 01:21:15,350 --> 01:21:17,930 Okay, Paxton, here it is. 1659 01:21:19,430 --> 01:21:22,810 It is I who has bought your precious motorcycle. 1660 01:21:22,890 --> 01:21:25,640 The purchaser of your bike is me. 1661 01:21:25,720 --> 01:21:27,680 And I am giving it back to you. 1662 01:21:27,770 --> 01:21:30,470 My gesture, half-brother to half-brother. 1663 01:21:30,560 --> 01:21:33,560 Your bike is yours once more. 1664 01:21:33,640 --> 01:21:35,220 Don't thank me, Paxton. 1665 01:21:35,310 --> 01:21:36,850 Please. No need. 1666 01:21:36,930 --> 01:21:39,930 All I ask, the only thing I ask of you, Paxton, 1667 01:21:40,020 --> 01:21:43,140 is that you are kind to yourself from now on. 1668 01:21:43,220 --> 01:21:44,850 That you learn from this. 1669 01:21:44,930 --> 01:21:46,470 That the world does not hate you. 1670 01:21:46,560 --> 01:21:49,350 That, yes, sometimes fate seems harsh and cruel, 1671 01:21:49,430 --> 01:21:51,560 but people really do what good... 1672 01:21:51,640 --> 01:21:55,100 Hey, David, it's Linda. Hi! 1673 01:21:55,180 --> 01:21:57,640 Uh, Linda, I thought I was just speaking to Paxton. 1674 01:21:57,720 --> 01:21:59,810 Yes, I know. I heard, David, your magnificent gesture, 1675 01:21:59,890 --> 01:22:01,640 and I just... I couldn't stop myself, 1676 01:22:01,720 --> 01:22:03,430 I couldn't help myself. I just had to jump on the call 1677 01:22:03,520 --> 01:22:05,680 and say, "Oh, my God, David. 1678 01:22:05,770 --> 01:22:07,060 What kind of a person are you?" 1679 01:22:07,140 --> 01:22:08,640 David bought my fucking bike. 1680 01:22:08,720 --> 01:22:11,560 Yes, I heard. I heard, and then I heard the sermon, 1681 01:22:11,640 --> 01:22:12,890 and I thought, "Wow! 1682 01:22:12,970 --> 01:22:15,020 Not only is he so generous with his cash, 1683 01:22:15,100 --> 01:22:17,310 he is so free with his wisdom." 1684 01:22:19,270 --> 01:22:20,890 - [David] Anyway, Paxton, there it is... - No, no, no. 1685 01:22:20,970 --> 01:22:22,720 Don't let me interrupt this meaningful moment. 1686 01:22:22,810 --> 01:22:24,180 What is it that you were saying, David? 1687 01:22:24,270 --> 01:22:25,220 Something about fate being harsh and... 1688 01:22:25,310 --> 01:22:26,810 - [chimes] - ...cruel? 1689 01:22:30,770 --> 01:22:31,970 Hmm. 1690 01:22:37,100 --> 01:22:38,310 Why were you mad at him? 1691 01:22:38,390 --> 01:22:39,890 - [Linda] I wasn't mad. - Yes, you were. 1692 01:22:41,390 --> 01:22:42,970 It was you. 1693 01:22:43,060 --> 01:22:43,850 [chuckles] 1694 01:22:43,930 --> 01:22:45,430 You bought my bike. 1695 01:22:45,520 --> 01:22:48,720 Paxton, don't be ridiculous. You heard what David said. 1696 01:22:48,810 --> 01:22:51,020 David would never do something like that, 1697 01:22:51,100 --> 01:22:52,390 but he would take the credit. 1698 01:22:52,470 --> 01:22:54,060 Whereas you would do something like that 1699 01:22:54,140 --> 01:22:56,350 and give the credit to someone else. 1700 01:22:56,430 --> 01:22:58,140 You did it 'cause you felt sorry for me. 1701 01:23:00,060 --> 01:23:02,640 Yes, I worried about what would happen 1702 01:23:02,720 --> 01:23:04,770 if you lost everything. 1703 01:23:04,850 --> 01:23:07,100 Mainly because I didn't want anything bad on my conscience. 1704 01:23:07,180 --> 01:23:09,810 Confession avalanche, but also I... 1705 01:23:09,890 --> 01:23:12,060 I did it because the bike represents us. 1706 01:23:12,140 --> 01:23:13,720 - And... - No, no, no. 1707 01:23:13,810 --> 01:23:18,220 Pity is over here, all right, and love is way over here. 1708 01:23:18,310 --> 01:23:19,890 Don't pretend there is a bridge. 1709 01:23:22,140 --> 01:23:24,020 But would you still feel pity for a man 1710 01:23:24,100 --> 01:23:25,930 who'd just stolen a million pounds? 1711 01:23:28,430 --> 01:23:29,470 I'd be a millionaire, 1712 01:23:30,350 --> 01:23:32,430 and a bandido once again. 1713 01:23:34,180 --> 01:23:35,680 Maybe you'd change your mind. 1714 01:23:37,020 --> 01:23:38,930 Maybe we'd ride off into the sunset. 1715 01:23:39,850 --> 01:23:41,350 Paxton... 1716 01:23:41,430 --> 01:23:44,020 whatever we decide to do tonight, 1717 01:23:44,100 --> 01:23:45,430 we will go our separate ways. 1718 01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:48,270 The money would mean that we're both free. 1719 01:23:51,520 --> 01:23:52,560 Well, I will factor that 1720 01:23:52,640 --> 01:23:54,850 into my decision-making process. 1721 01:23:57,350 --> 01:23:58,680 Thanks for the bike. 1722 01:24:06,390 --> 01:24:07,930 [inhales deeply] 1723 01:24:09,310 --> 01:24:10,770 [chanting] Om... 1724 01:24:10,850 --> 01:24:12,810 [Paxton] Ladies and gentlemen... 1725 01:24:13,850 --> 01:24:15,020 fellow inmates... 1726 01:24:16,390 --> 01:24:18,520 I have something for you 1727 01:24:18,600 --> 01:24:20,810 before I head off on the number 27 bus 1728 01:24:20,890 --> 01:24:23,520 to meet my destiny. 1729 01:24:23,600 --> 01:24:26,060 It's a passage from a poem 1730 01:24:26,970 --> 01:24:29,890 written by T.S. Eliot, 1731 01:24:29,970 --> 01:24:31,770 who I'm sure no one has ever heard of either. 1732 01:24:33,970 --> 01:24:38,100 "She turns and looks a moment in the glass, 1733 01:24:38,180 --> 01:24:42,140 hardly aware of her departed lover. 1734 01:24:42,220 --> 01:24:46,270 Her brain allows one half-formed thought to pass. 1735 01:24:47,600 --> 01:24:51,600 "Well, now that's done, and I'm glad it's over." 1736 01:24:56,100 --> 01:24:58,390 See you in the moment, Linda. 1737 01:25:00,600 --> 01:25:02,720 [music playing] 1738 01:25:16,060 --> 01:25:18,350 [Paxton] This could be the last bus I ever take. 1739 01:25:37,060 --> 01:25:39,140 Oh, I've decided to go by myself. Thanks. 1740 01:25:39,220 --> 01:25:41,060 - [driver] No problem. - Thank you. 1741 01:25:56,310 --> 01:25:57,850 [exhales] 1742 01:26:19,930 --> 01:26:25,270 [Martin] Do it, Paxton. Take the opportunity that fate has given you. 1743 01:26:25,350 --> 01:26:26,810 [Paxon grunts] 1744 01:26:32,600 --> 01:26:34,680 [engine starts] 1745 01:27:23,060 --> 01:27:24,560 [siren wailing] 1746 01:28:58,930 --> 01:29:00,350 [sighs] 1747 01:29:03,270 --> 01:29:05,140 - Hi, stranger. - [Charlotte] Oh, my God! 1748 01:29:05,220 --> 01:29:06,930 - [laughs] - I want to hug you. 1749 01:29:07,020 --> 01:29:08,430 I can't hug you, I can't hug you. 1750 01:29:08,520 --> 01:29:09,680 I hate this virus. 1751 01:29:09,770 --> 01:29:11,220 [blowing kisses] I'm blowing you kisses. 1752 01:29:11,310 --> 01:29:12,720 - Oh, my God. - [man] Hello, stranger. 1753 01:29:12,810 --> 01:29:14,890 - [Linda] Hey, oh... - [chuckles] 1754 01:29:14,970 --> 01:29:16,520 [Charlotte] This place died when you left. 1755 01:29:16,600 --> 01:29:18,140 [Linda] Oh, Charlotte, I need to know the name 1756 01:29:18,220 --> 01:29:20,270 of your personal trainer right now, seriously. 1757 01:29:20,350 --> 01:29:22,100 I actually lost weight because of stress, 1758 01:29:22,180 --> 01:29:23,350 'cause I found out my girlfriend 1759 01:29:23,430 --> 01:29:24,930 was stealing a load of money from me. 1760 01:29:25,020 --> 01:29:25,890 - [Linda] What? - Long story. 1761 01:29:25,970 --> 01:29:27,100 That's not for right now. 1762 01:29:27,180 --> 01:29:28,470 - Hi! - Hi. [laughs] 1763 01:29:28,560 --> 01:29:32,890 Terry, yeah. Terry, guess who's here? 1764 01:29:32,970 --> 01:29:34,890 Yeah, have a little look at Cam 14. 1765 01:29:39,140 --> 01:29:40,890 [Terry] Oh, shit, it's Linda. 1766 01:29:42,390 --> 01:29:44,140 So, Linda, what are you doing here? 1767 01:29:44,220 --> 01:29:45,970 [Linda] Oh, I'm not on the list, because I made 1768 01:29:46,060 --> 01:29:47,350 a special arrangement with Imran, 1769 01:29:47,430 --> 01:29:48,720 so I just need a desk for five minutes. 1770 01:29:48,810 --> 01:29:51,640 Or three minutes. Charlotte, can I? 1771 01:29:51,720 --> 01:29:53,680 - Come through. - [Linda] Okay. Oh! 1772 01:29:53,770 --> 01:29:55,520 I need to wait for my, um, driver. 1773 01:29:55,600 --> 01:29:57,430 Oh, hang on. Excuse me. 1774 01:29:59,220 --> 01:30:01,390 [whistles] Hi. B2B Pro Freight Services? 1775 01:30:01,470 --> 01:30:02,680 [Paxton] Yeah. 1776 01:30:02,770 --> 01:30:03,850 [Linda] For the Eve Schwarz collection? 1777 01:30:03,930 --> 01:30:05,220 - Uh-huh. - Yeah? 1778 01:30:05,310 --> 01:30:07,640 Okay, just wait here for one second. Okay. 1779 01:30:07,720 --> 01:30:11,430 [sighs] We couldn't get our normal freight service. 1780 01:30:11,520 --> 01:30:13,020 [Charlotte] World's gone mad. 1781 01:30:13,100 --> 01:30:14,350 I'm going to have to run a hundred checks on this guy. 1782 01:30:14,430 --> 01:30:15,850 We'll just need to see his ID. 1783 01:30:15,930 --> 01:30:17,720 And Imran said we do need to check the driver's ID. 1784 01:30:20,100 --> 01:30:21,310 Of course. 1785 01:30:26,140 --> 01:30:27,850 [whistles] Yeah, can I see your ID? 1786 01:30:34,100 --> 01:30:35,680 Thank you. 1787 01:30:35,770 --> 01:30:37,350 Oops. [chuckles] 1788 01:30:47,970 --> 01:30:49,180 Oh, my God, Charlotte. 1789 01:30:49,270 --> 01:30:51,520 I didn't tell you. You of all people. 1790 01:30:51,600 --> 01:30:52,680 [Charlotte] What? 1791 01:30:52,770 --> 01:30:54,020 It's just the most earth-shattering, 1792 01:30:54,100 --> 01:30:55,520 life-changing, amazing news. 1793 01:30:55,600 --> 01:30:57,350 [whispering] I found someone. I met someone. 1794 01:30:57,430 --> 01:30:59,140 - No. - Yes. 1795 01:30:59,220 --> 01:31:00,640 Oh, my God. I thought you were going to be single forever. 1796 01:31:00,720 --> 01:31:02,350 - Me, too! - Dating app? Bumble? 1797 01:31:02,430 --> 01:31:04,680 - What's he like? - [Linda] He's, uh... 1798 01:31:06,970 --> 01:31:08,390 He's a poet. 1799 01:31:08,470 --> 01:31:09,850 - Oh? - Yeah. 1800 01:31:09,930 --> 01:31:11,430 [whispering] Yeah, he's like a really wild poet. 1801 01:31:11,520 --> 01:31:12,810 Oh, my God, that's so romantic. 1802 01:31:12,890 --> 01:31:14,270 Hmm, I know. 1803 01:31:14,350 --> 01:31:16,060 But listen, I've got a slot in the vaults at 7:00. 1804 01:31:16,140 --> 01:31:18,220 - I gotta get this guy processed. Thank you. - Mmm-hmm. 1805 01:31:18,310 --> 01:31:21,060 - Linda... - Oh, life, life. 1806 01:31:21,140 --> 01:31:22,890 Right? You never know what's coming down the line. 1807 01:31:22,970 --> 01:31:24,600 - Mmm-hmm. - Okay. 1808 01:31:27,390 --> 01:31:28,810 [whistles] We're good. 1809 01:31:31,720 --> 01:31:33,390 [blows kiss] Thank you, Mark. 1810 01:31:33,470 --> 01:31:35,020 [Mark] Anything for you, Linda. 1811 01:31:37,140 --> 01:31:40,350 Okay, I'm going to generate you a Harrods pass 1812 01:31:40,430 --> 01:31:42,520 that will give you access to all areas. 1813 01:31:42,600 --> 01:31:46,100 - Date of birth. - [Paxton] January 19th, 1809. 1814 01:31:46,180 --> 01:31:49,600 But I didn't have my first poem published until 1827. 1815 01:31:50,600 --> 01:31:52,020 Okay, that's good. That's good. 1816 01:31:52,100 --> 01:31:54,270 You're taking it lightly. You're not panicking. 1817 01:31:54,350 --> 01:31:56,470 January 19th, 1980. 1818 01:31:56,560 --> 01:31:58,100 Height, six feet. 1819 01:31:58,180 --> 01:31:59,600 - Build... - Medium athletic. 1820 01:31:59,680 --> 01:32:01,890 And inside, I am panicking. 1821 01:32:01,970 --> 01:32:04,770 You do realize that we've both gone fucking insane. 1822 01:32:04,850 --> 01:32:06,970 We haven't done anything yet. 1823 01:32:07,060 --> 01:32:10,600 Criminal convictions, none. 1824 01:32:10,680 --> 01:32:12,180 So, when does the moment begin? 1825 01:32:12,270 --> 01:32:14,890 - [keyboard clacking] - The moment when we decide. 1826 01:32:14,970 --> 01:32:17,020 In the CCTV control room, 1827 01:32:17,100 --> 01:32:19,770 there's a deaf man who reads lips. 1828 01:32:19,850 --> 01:32:21,970 Shut up. Look here. 1829 01:32:22,810 --> 01:32:24,600 Why are you good at this? 1830 01:32:25,890 --> 01:32:27,470 [mouse clicking] 1831 01:32:28,180 --> 01:32:30,890 [printer whirring] 1832 01:32:32,720 --> 01:32:34,060 Oh, Linda. 1833 01:32:34,140 --> 01:32:35,970 I just need to get the gentleman's name 1834 01:32:36,060 --> 01:32:37,970 in case of a fire, so... 1835 01:32:39,060 --> 01:32:41,060 - His name? - [Mark] Mmm-hmm. 1836 01:32:41,140 --> 01:32:42,600 Edgar Allen Poe. 1837 01:32:45,810 --> 01:32:47,350 Uh, Edgar... 1838 01:32:48,060 --> 01:32:50,930 Edgar Allen Poe. 1839 01:32:51,020 --> 01:32:52,520 Great, thanks. 1840 01:32:54,890 --> 01:32:56,640 [Linda] This is the first time Harrods has been closed 1841 01:32:56,720 --> 01:32:59,310 in a hundred years. 1842 01:32:59,390 --> 01:33:02,100 Everything has to get packed up and put into boxes. 1843 01:33:02,180 --> 01:33:05,180 Pearls, purses, fine art, fine jewelry. 1844 01:33:05,270 --> 01:33:06,180 Diamonds. 1845 01:33:06,270 --> 01:33:07,890 [Linda] Yeah. Diamonds. 1846 01:33:09,220 --> 01:33:11,020 [elevator dings] 1847 01:33:13,220 --> 01:33:14,850 Remember that game we used to play 1848 01:33:14,930 --> 01:33:16,600 when we are alone in an elevator, 1849 01:33:16,680 --> 01:33:18,180 we ask each other questions, 1850 01:33:18,270 --> 01:33:19,810 and we are only allowed to tell the absolute truth? 1851 01:33:21,310 --> 01:33:22,680 Shoot. 1852 01:33:22,770 --> 01:33:25,100 What went wrong with you and me? 1853 01:33:27,310 --> 01:33:30,020 When I met you, I wanted wild and you were wild. 1854 01:33:30,100 --> 01:33:34,680 And then, I stopped wanting wild, and you stopped being wild. 1855 01:33:36,430 --> 01:33:38,140 - So, it should have worked. - Yeah, but it didn't. 1856 01:33:38,220 --> 01:33:39,850 - Why not? - I don't know. 1857 01:33:39,930 --> 01:33:43,520 [hesitates] That's the truth. 1858 01:33:43,600 --> 01:33:45,970 -[elevator dings] -[automated voice] Doors opening. 1859 01:33:47,180 --> 01:33:49,350 - Are you hungry? - Yeah. 1860 01:33:59,850 --> 01:34:01,600 [indistinct talking] 1861 01:34:04,060 --> 01:34:07,100 [classical music playing] 1862 01:34:11,640 --> 01:34:14,560 [Linda] We have an hour until our slot in the vaults, 1863 01:34:14,640 --> 01:34:17,060 so what do you want to eat, Paxton? 1864 01:34:17,140 --> 01:34:18,850 There is literally everything. 1865 01:34:22,140 --> 01:34:23,970 With the store closing, Harrods is gonna give 1866 01:34:24,060 --> 01:34:25,890 all of this food away to a food bank. 1867 01:34:25,970 --> 01:34:27,850 [indistinct announcement on PA] 1868 01:34:30,930 --> 01:34:32,140 Fine. 1869 01:34:33,020 --> 01:34:34,600 Is there anybody watching? 1870 01:34:35,180 --> 01:34:36,100 Maybe. 1871 01:34:37,560 --> 01:34:38,850 Dream bigger. 1872 01:34:43,020 --> 01:34:44,640 Finest beluga caviar? 1873 01:34:56,720 --> 01:34:58,180 [Paxton] So is this the moment? 1874 01:34:58,720 --> 01:35:00,350 [Linda] No. 1875 01:35:00,430 --> 01:35:03,680 No. We gotta get something clear before we make up our mind. 1876 01:35:03,770 --> 01:35:05,930 This is a black Perigord truffle from Italy. 1877 01:35:06,020 --> 01:35:08,310 It retails for £735. 1878 01:35:08,390 --> 01:35:09,930 - For a fucking mushroom? - Okay. 1879 01:35:10,020 --> 01:35:11,720 Okay, that is what we need to get clear in our minds. 1880 01:35:11,810 --> 01:35:13,600 What is the difference between the cost of things, 1881 01:35:13,680 --> 01:35:15,270 and the value of things to you and me? 1882 01:35:15,350 --> 01:35:16,640 So, I'm gonna make a picnic. 1883 01:35:16,720 --> 01:35:17,810 A picnic which under normal circumstances 1884 01:35:17,890 --> 01:35:20,060 would cost us about £5,000. 1885 01:35:48,560 --> 01:35:49,640 [elevator dings] 1886 01:35:49,720 --> 01:35:51,060 [automated voice] Door's closing. 1887 01:35:51,140 --> 01:35:53,020 [Linda] My precious grandma was a racist. 1888 01:35:53,100 --> 01:35:54,430 - Whoa. - Yeah. 1889 01:35:54,520 --> 01:35:56,060 And I've just decided to take her off 1890 01:35:56,140 --> 01:35:57,350 my in-head jury of people 1891 01:35:57,430 --> 01:35:59,060 who pass judgment on what I do. 1892 01:36:01,350 --> 01:36:02,720 So, who else is on the jury? 1893 01:36:04,100 --> 01:36:05,640 My dead mother, God and you. 1894 01:36:06,430 --> 01:36:07,970 How come I'm still there? 1895 01:36:08,060 --> 01:36:09,560 -[elevator dings] -[automated voice] Door's opening. 1896 01:36:09,640 --> 01:36:12,060 Doors are open, I don't have to tell you. 1897 01:36:14,600 --> 01:36:16,930 I used to come in here on my lunch break. 1898 01:36:22,930 --> 01:36:25,350 [Paxton] So which one of those paintings do you want? 1899 01:36:25,430 --> 01:36:28,470 [Linda] Uh, I don't want to own one. 1900 01:36:29,600 --> 01:36:31,390 You want to paint one. 1901 01:36:31,470 --> 01:36:34,180 [sighs] I just want to paint. 1902 01:36:36,220 --> 01:36:38,020 So, this is the moment. 1903 01:36:38,100 --> 01:36:39,560 Oh, wait. 1904 01:36:39,640 --> 01:36:41,810 - Is the deaf guy looking? - What? 1905 01:36:41,890 --> 01:36:44,600 Oh, I made that guy up so you would stop talking. 1906 01:36:44,680 --> 01:36:46,060 Ah. 1907 01:36:46,140 --> 01:36:47,810 Think about it. 1908 01:36:47,890 --> 01:36:52,100 £100,000 a year for ten years. £50,000 a year for 20 years. 1909 01:36:52,180 --> 01:36:53,970 - A million pounds. - [Linda] Yeah. 1910 01:36:54,060 --> 01:36:55,270 You could paint. 1911 01:36:55,350 --> 01:36:56,970 You wouldn't even need to sell anything. 1912 01:36:57,060 --> 01:37:00,560 -[elevator dings] -[automated voice] Door's closing. 1913 01:37:00,640 --> 01:37:02,720 I never learned to ride a bicycle. 1914 01:37:02,810 --> 01:37:03,770 - What? - Yeah. 1915 01:37:03,850 --> 01:37:04,970 - Never? - Yeah. 1916 01:37:05,060 --> 01:37:06,560 Went straight to the motorcycle. 1917 01:37:08,180 --> 01:37:10,890 Before Christmas, I had a sexual encounter with Maria, 1918 01:37:10,970 --> 01:37:12,560 [whispers] and it was great. 1919 01:37:12,640 --> 01:37:14,270 -[elevator dings] -[automated voice] Door's opening. 1920 01:37:17,890 --> 01:37:22,060 Okay, so we've established that we both want freedom. 1921 01:37:22,140 --> 01:37:25,140 - Maria, really? - Oh, Paxton. 1922 01:37:25,220 --> 01:37:27,850 Paxton, we are about to make the most important decision 1923 01:37:27,930 --> 01:37:29,810 of our lives. Can you concentrate? 1924 01:37:31,060 --> 01:37:33,390 Okay, in our decision-making process, 1925 01:37:33,470 --> 01:37:35,600 we haven't yet discussed morality. 1926 01:37:35,680 --> 01:37:37,520 Look at that. That is... 1927 01:37:37,600 --> 01:37:40,640 That's a whole city in lockdown. 1928 01:37:40,720 --> 01:37:43,100 Hospitals can't cope. A million pounds would help. 1929 01:37:43,180 --> 01:37:45,930 We'd be doing good. Plus, I worked it out. 1930 01:37:46,020 --> 01:37:47,770 If it's in 50s, it all fits in one suitcase. 1931 01:37:47,850 --> 01:37:49,470 You can leave it on a doorstep. Take that, Grandma. 1932 01:37:49,560 --> 01:37:52,770 - You got rid of Grandma. - Yes, I did. Thank you. 1933 01:37:52,850 --> 01:37:55,850 So, okay, we do it. 1934 01:37:57,060 --> 01:37:58,060 Fuck it. 1935 01:37:58,890 --> 01:38:00,430 We decide right now. 1936 01:38:01,890 --> 01:38:02,810 Okay. 1937 01:38:04,100 --> 01:38:05,850 [chuckles] 1938 01:38:05,930 --> 01:38:07,770 Previously, I would have kissed you. 1939 01:38:10,060 --> 01:38:11,850 Let's just see what happens. 1940 01:38:31,390 --> 01:38:33,810 - Okay. - Fuck. 1941 01:38:33,890 --> 01:38:35,390 - Maria? - Okay, it's time to go. 1942 01:38:35,470 --> 01:38:37,470 - Really? - We gotta go to the vaults. 1943 01:38:39,560 --> 01:38:41,680 [Paxton] So, are we gonna do it or not? 1944 01:38:44,600 --> 01:38:46,520 [Paxton panting] 1945 01:38:57,220 --> 01:38:59,060 - [unzips bag] - Are you okay? 1946 01:38:59,140 --> 01:39:01,470 God, no. 1947 01:39:01,560 --> 01:39:03,600 Is God really part of your in-head jury? 1948 01:39:03,680 --> 01:39:04,890 Uh-huh. 1949 01:39:04,970 --> 01:39:06,720 And for the record, God is absolutely fine 1950 01:39:06,810 --> 01:39:08,600 with whatever it is that we decide to do. 1951 01:39:09,470 --> 01:39:10,890 [Paxton] That's good to know. 1952 01:39:12,430 --> 01:39:14,270 -[Linda] Hi, there. P.., right? -Yes, miss. 1953 01:39:14,350 --> 01:39:15,770 [Linda] Lead the way. 1954 01:39:18,270 --> 01:39:20,890 Why does the name Edgar Allen Poe ring a bell? 1955 01:39:24,390 --> 01:39:26,390 - [phone rings] - [groans] 1956 01:39:28,640 --> 01:39:30,390 [indistinct chatter] 1957 01:39:34,850 --> 01:39:36,470 - [Linda] Thank you. - You're welcome. 1958 01:40:02,180 --> 01:40:03,770 [man] You're shipping that thing to New York? 1959 01:40:07,430 --> 01:40:11,140 [indistinct announcement on PA] 1960 01:40:35,850 --> 01:40:37,390 -[Linda] It's an underwater theme. -Yeah. 1961 01:40:37,470 --> 01:40:39,770 - My idea. - It's nice. 1962 01:40:39,850 --> 01:40:41,850 You're very good at what you do. What you did. 1963 01:40:43,640 --> 01:40:45,180 [Linda] Okay, so we only need to pack up 1964 01:40:45,270 --> 01:40:46,600 the jewelry and accessories. 1965 01:40:46,680 --> 01:40:48,020 The clothing all goes downstairs, 1966 01:40:48,100 --> 01:40:49,220 so it shouldn't take too long. 1967 01:40:49,310 --> 01:40:51,020 Yeah, not too long, so, uh... 1968 01:40:52,060 --> 01:40:53,430 Shall I take it out? 1969 01:40:54,350 --> 01:40:56,390 Yes. Why not? 1970 01:40:56,890 --> 01:40:58,470 [grunts] 1971 01:41:04,560 --> 01:41:05,720 [Linda] Okay. 1972 01:41:18,310 --> 01:41:19,930 [water bubbling] 1973 01:41:25,600 --> 01:41:27,100 [Linda] Do it quickly, the fish are piranhas. 1974 01:41:27,180 --> 01:41:30,350 - What? - It's meant to be symbolic. 1975 01:41:30,430 --> 01:41:31,850 - Symbolic of... - I don't remember, okay. 1976 01:41:31,930 --> 01:41:33,350 Just do it faster. 1977 01:41:33,430 --> 01:41:35,140 You'll be fine. 1978 01:41:43,810 --> 01:41:44,970 [Paxton grunts] 1979 01:41:47,680 --> 01:41:49,470 [breathes heavily] 1980 01:41:51,310 --> 01:41:52,850 So, this is the moment. 1981 01:41:54,470 --> 01:41:57,520 Just seems so easy. 1982 01:41:57,600 --> 01:41:59,600 It's never been about can we do it, Paxton. 1983 01:41:59,680 --> 01:42:01,470 It's about... should we do it? 1984 01:42:01,560 --> 01:42:03,270 And will we do it? It's about you and me. 1985 01:42:03,350 --> 01:42:05,930 And I'm not saying that we are going to do it, 1986 01:42:06,020 --> 01:42:10,060 but if we are, then you would need to take one step to your left. 1987 01:42:12,810 --> 01:42:15,020 So, shall I take the step? 1988 01:42:17,060 --> 01:42:18,520 Take the step. Then, we decide. 1989 01:42:23,100 --> 01:42:24,560 Linda... 1990 01:42:24,640 --> 01:42:25,600 if we are deciding in the moment, 1991 01:42:25,680 --> 01:42:27,560 then I say we do it. 1992 01:42:27,640 --> 01:42:29,310 If we are letting the moment decide, 1993 01:42:29,390 --> 01:42:33,390 then, in my opinion, the moment is saying loud and clear... 1994 01:42:33,470 --> 01:42:34,850 "Put the replica in the fucking box 1995 01:42:34,930 --> 01:42:36,850 and put the real thing in your bag." 1996 01:42:38,970 --> 01:42:43,520 Freedom, Linda, in one beautiful moment. 1997 01:42:49,640 --> 01:42:50,810 [Linda exhales] 1998 01:43:08,060 --> 01:43:09,390 [Paxton gasps] 1999 01:43:11,520 --> 01:43:12,970 [exhales] 2000 01:43:16,020 --> 01:43:17,520 Okay. 2001 01:43:18,520 --> 01:43:19,680 Okay. 2002 01:43:22,020 --> 01:43:23,310 - It's under control. - It's under control. 2003 01:43:23,390 --> 01:43:25,470 - Under control. - [softly] Yeah. 2004 01:43:27,430 --> 01:43:30,600 I think we should start with the handbags, 2005 01:43:30,680 --> 01:43:33,720 and, uh, [hesitates] we should get the dust bags... 2006 01:43:33,810 --> 01:43:35,020 Linda! 2007 01:43:35,100 --> 01:43:36,310 - Linda, it's me. - [Linda] Donald. 2008 01:43:36,390 --> 01:43:39,470 I need to speak to you urgently. 2009 01:43:39,560 --> 01:43:42,310 Um, excuse me, could you please take a stroll 2010 01:43:42,390 --> 01:43:44,060 or something for a moment? 2011 01:43:44,140 --> 01:43:46,560 I have some very important things to say to my colleague. 2012 01:43:48,470 --> 01:43:50,640 Uh... Uh-huh. 2013 01:43:53,140 --> 01:43:54,430 Uh... 2014 01:43:54,930 --> 01:43:56,180 Donald... 2015 01:43:56,270 --> 01:43:58,930 Well, goodness, I thought that I fired you, 2016 01:43:59,020 --> 01:44:00,350 but you're here. 2017 01:44:00,430 --> 01:44:02,850 Linda, listen. Someone made an anonymous call 2018 01:44:02,930 --> 01:44:04,520 to Miracore head office. 2019 01:44:04,600 --> 01:44:06,850 They said that the driver from B2B 2020 01:44:06,930 --> 01:44:08,810 who is carrying the Eve Schwarz collection 2021 01:44:08,890 --> 01:44:10,310 is using a false name. 2022 01:44:10,390 --> 01:44:12,390 They said he's got a criminal record. 2023 01:44:13,430 --> 01:44:15,470 [sighs] Grandma, hey. 2024 01:44:15,560 --> 01:44:17,810 I came as soon as I could. Thank God you're okay. 2025 01:44:17,890 --> 01:44:19,810 - I'm okay. - Well, the police are coming. 2026 01:44:19,890 --> 01:44:22,180 - The police are coming and... - They'll be here any minute. 2027 01:44:22,270 --> 01:44:24,520 They'll be here any minute. Okay, that's... 2028 01:44:24,600 --> 01:44:25,930 Now we're against the clock. 2029 01:44:26,020 --> 01:44:28,140 Uh, if he's innocent and who he says he is, 2030 01:44:28,220 --> 01:44:29,850 - then everything will... - Everything will be okay. 2031 01:44:29,930 --> 01:44:32,430 And it will be okay, Donald, because I know what to do. 2032 01:44:32,520 --> 01:44:33,680 [hesitates] What do you mean? 2033 01:44:33,770 --> 01:44:34,520 - What are you going to do? - Paxton? 2034 01:44:34,600 --> 01:44:35,520 Paxton? 2035 01:44:37,850 --> 01:44:40,180 Donald. Paxton. 2036 01:44:40,270 --> 01:44:41,640 Paxton. Donald. 2037 01:44:41,720 --> 01:44:42,810 Who are you? 2038 01:44:42,890 --> 01:44:44,520 I'm Edgar Allen Poe, obviously. 2039 01:44:44,600 --> 01:44:46,770 - She just called you Paxton. - Yes, Donald, this is Paxton. 2040 01:44:46,850 --> 01:44:49,520 And I'm a woman called Linda Jarvis. 2041 01:44:49,600 --> 01:44:53,100 I'm an ordinary woman who, 60 seconds ago, 2042 01:44:53,180 --> 01:44:55,350 made an extraordinary decision. 2043 01:44:55,430 --> 01:44:56,810 [softly] Linda, what are you going to tell him? 2044 01:44:56,890 --> 01:44:58,220 [Donald] What is it to do with you? 2045 01:44:58,310 --> 01:45:01,770 What it has to do with him is that... 2046 01:45:01,850 --> 01:45:04,680 he is my partner and my lover of ten years standing, 2047 01:45:04,770 --> 01:45:06,600 and I think I'm still in love with him. 2048 01:45:06,680 --> 01:45:08,020 - [inhales deeply] - Really? 2049 01:45:08,100 --> 01:45:10,560 But most importantly, he is also my accomplice. 2050 01:45:10,640 --> 01:45:13,180 You see, Donald, just now... just one minute ago, 2051 01:45:13,270 --> 01:45:14,890 I decided... We decided 2052 01:45:14,970 --> 01:45:17,220 to steal the Harris Diamond worth three million pounds. 2053 01:45:17,310 --> 01:45:19,220 [sighs] Holy fuck. Confession avalanche. 2054 01:45:19,310 --> 01:45:20,470 [Linda] No, it's okay, and I know Donald 2055 01:45:20,560 --> 01:45:21,680 and also we don't have a choice, 2056 01:45:21,770 --> 01:45:23,100 because Donald called the police 2057 01:45:23,180 --> 01:45:24,470 and they're about to arrive at any second. 2058 01:45:24,560 --> 01:45:26,220 - [Paxton] Oh, fuck! - Like I said, 2059 01:45:26,310 --> 01:45:27,970 it's going to be okay, because when the police arrive, 2060 01:45:28,060 --> 01:45:29,720 we are not going to be here, we are going to be gone. 2061 01:45:29,810 --> 01:45:31,310 - You are? - Yes, we are. 2062 01:45:31,390 --> 01:45:32,890 And Donald is going to tell them 2063 01:45:32,970 --> 01:45:34,180 that he talked to Linda 2064 01:45:34,270 --> 01:45:35,470 and she said that everything's fine, 2065 01:45:35,560 --> 01:45:36,890 it was all a misunderstanding. 2066 01:45:36,970 --> 01:45:39,680 And then, he is going to give them this, 2067 01:45:39,770 --> 01:45:41,430 your ID verification. 2068 01:45:41,520 --> 01:45:43,810 And you're going to say that you recognize that driver 2069 01:45:43,890 --> 01:45:45,220 from another assignment. 2070 01:45:45,310 --> 01:45:46,600 And then, you're going to tell them a story. 2071 01:45:46,680 --> 01:45:48,390 You're going to tell them a story 2072 01:45:48,470 --> 01:45:50,720 about how this driver has an enemy at work who hates him. 2073 01:45:50,810 --> 01:45:52,350 - I am? - Yes, you are. 2074 01:45:52,430 --> 01:45:54,770 And do you know why you're going to do all this, Donald? 2075 01:45:54,850 --> 01:45:57,970 - No. Why? - Because we are good. 2076 01:45:58,060 --> 01:46:00,310 Paxton, Donald, we three are good. 2077 01:46:00,390 --> 01:46:02,020 And the bastards who told me to fire you 2078 01:46:02,100 --> 01:46:03,560 and the bastard who bought that diamond, 2079 01:46:03,640 --> 01:46:05,930 they won't even realize that it's gone. 2080 01:46:06,020 --> 01:46:08,600 - Mention the NHS. - Yeah. Yes, ooh! 2081 01:46:10,850 --> 01:46:12,600 What do you say, Donald? 2082 01:46:12,680 --> 01:46:14,600 Will you lie for us, Donald? 2083 01:46:17,180 --> 01:46:21,430 [Donald] I see all this anarchy is because of lockdown. 2084 01:46:21,520 --> 01:46:23,970 Idiotic, insane fucking lockdown 2085 01:46:24,060 --> 01:46:25,470 which has liberated us all. 2086 01:46:25,560 --> 01:46:27,020 Donald, we'll give you money. I'll give you 200 grand. 2087 01:46:27,100 --> 01:46:28,520 Fuck the money. I don't do this for money, 2088 01:46:28,600 --> 01:46:29,560 I do this for beauty. 2089 01:46:29,640 --> 01:46:31,520 Linda, you are wonderful. 2090 01:46:31,600 --> 01:46:35,470 [chuckles] Linda, and he is your secret bandit lover, 2091 01:46:35,560 --> 01:46:37,470 and you are going to spit in the face 2092 01:46:37,560 --> 01:46:39,270 of the global monolith. 2093 01:46:39,350 --> 01:46:40,890 During lockdown I've had time 2094 01:46:40,970 --> 01:46:44,560 to think and walk in the park near my mother's house, 2095 01:46:44,640 --> 01:46:47,390 and God, apart from the dog walkers and the joggers 2096 01:46:47,470 --> 01:46:50,850 breathing everywhere, God, it is a beautiful world. 2097 01:46:50,930 --> 01:46:53,020 Even before the fucking virus, 2098 01:46:53,100 --> 01:46:55,470 we were all locked down in our own routines, 2099 01:46:55,560 --> 01:46:57,180 our versions of ourselves... 2100 01:46:57,270 --> 01:46:58,430 Linda, we have to get the fuck out of here. 2101 01:46:58,520 --> 01:46:59,970 Let Donald have his moment. 2102 01:47:00,060 --> 01:47:01,140 [Donald] ...never get to work! 2103 01:47:01,220 --> 01:47:02,430 I only came here tonight 2104 01:47:02,520 --> 01:47:03,810 because I was worried about you, Linda. 2105 01:47:03,890 --> 01:47:05,430 I don't give a fuck about Miracore, 2106 01:47:05,520 --> 01:47:07,970 their fucking diamonds, I don't care about them. 2107 01:47:08,060 --> 01:47:10,930 I want everything to be stolen. 2108 01:47:11,020 --> 01:47:13,930 I will lie for you, Linda, 2109 01:47:14,020 --> 01:47:19,680 because this is my moment to fucking do something! 2110 01:47:32,180 --> 01:47:33,770 Mad, all this, isn't it? 2111 01:47:33,850 --> 01:47:35,430 - Yeah. - [chuckles] 2112 01:47:35,520 --> 01:47:37,310 Who'd have thought a month ago we'd be doing this. 2113 01:47:38,220 --> 01:47:39,350 Not me. 2114 01:47:39,430 --> 01:47:41,390 [PA system chimes] 2115 01:47:41,470 --> 01:47:43,680 [man on PA] Paging Edgar Allen Poe. 2116 01:47:43,770 --> 01:47:47,350 Edgar Allen Poe, please report to security. 2117 01:47:47,430 --> 01:47:51,680 ["Shine On You Crazy Diamond" playing] 2118 01:47:54,310 --> 01:47:55,430 [elevator dings] 2119 01:48:00,020 --> 01:48:01,810 [PA system chimes] 2120 01:48:01,890 --> 01:48:03,560 [man] Mr. Edgar Allen Poe, 2121 01:48:03,640 --> 01:48:06,350 please report to security immediately. 2122 01:48:06,430 --> 01:48:08,020 [Linda] I think we should speed up. 2123 01:48:08,100 --> 01:48:10,680 Don't rush. We're not trying to evacuate Dunkirk! 2124 01:48:10,770 --> 01:48:11,970 Stop there. If you walk, 2125 01:48:12,060 --> 01:48:14,020 you should be on the starboard side. 2126 01:48:14,850 --> 01:48:16,310 [indistinct talking] 2127 01:48:16,390 --> 01:48:17,850 [Linda] Leave it. Leave it. 2128 01:48:19,140 --> 01:48:20,720 Linda? 2129 01:48:20,810 --> 01:48:23,350 - [PA system chimes] - [man] Paging Edgar Allen Poe. 2130 01:48:23,430 --> 01:48:26,430 Mr. Edgar Allen Poe, please report to security. 2131 01:48:26,520 --> 01:48:29,220 It's Michael with the arrows from Zoom. 2132 01:48:34,640 --> 01:48:37,270 - [PA system chimes] - [man] Mr. Edgar Allen Poe, 2133 01:48:37,350 --> 01:48:40,310 please report to security immediately. 2134 01:48:42,430 --> 01:48:44,560 [whispering] Oh, fuck. 2135 01:48:44,640 --> 01:48:46,520 You'll have to turn in your Harrods pass. 2136 01:48:46,600 --> 01:48:47,890 You go. Save yourself. 2137 01:48:47,970 --> 01:48:49,270 It's me that fate is fucking with. 2138 01:48:49,350 --> 01:48:51,220 Just keep walking. 2139 01:48:52,970 --> 01:48:54,270 [Mark] Edgar Allen Poe. 2140 01:48:56,890 --> 01:48:58,850 [Mark panting] 2141 01:48:58,930 --> 01:49:00,560 You left this in the office. 2142 01:49:02,100 --> 01:49:03,810 You'll need it at Heathrow. 2143 01:49:07,770 --> 01:49:10,020 Thanks very much. 2144 01:49:10,100 --> 01:49:13,140 Everybody says, uh, come back soon, Linda, 2145 01:49:13,220 --> 01:49:14,520 and we all love you. 2146 01:50:20,770 --> 01:50:22,020 Since that night, we've established 2147 01:50:22,100 --> 01:50:23,680 that although we're now both rich 2148 01:50:23,770 --> 01:50:25,890 and no longer have to do jobs we despise, 2149 01:50:25,970 --> 01:50:27,220 the strains of lockdown 2150 01:50:27,310 --> 01:50:28,850 are still severely testing our relationship. 2151 01:50:28,930 --> 01:50:30,520 "Happy ever after" cannot survive 2152 01:50:30,600 --> 01:50:32,470 someone hiding your bag of flour. 2153 01:50:32,560 --> 01:50:34,140 Okay, come on. Okay. 2154 01:50:35,180 --> 01:50:37,560 Here is your bag of flour. I just... 2155 01:50:37,640 --> 01:50:39,770 I want you to promise me that you're not gonna make bread. 2156 01:50:39,850 --> 01:50:41,100 [Paxton] Why not? 2157 01:50:41,180 --> 01:50:43,060 Because of the mess and the pointlessness 2158 01:50:43,140 --> 01:50:45,720 and because it will be inedible, and like all homemade bread, 2159 01:50:45,810 --> 01:50:47,220 it will be a fucking pointless cannonball. 2160 01:50:47,310 --> 01:50:49,100 My dad used to make it and we had to eat it, 2161 01:50:49,180 --> 01:50:50,640 otherwise he would disappear into his workshop 2162 01:50:50,720 --> 01:50:52,970 and make these hopeless wooden toys. 2163 01:50:53,060 --> 01:50:54,890 - Never again. - Linda, you've lost your mind. 2164 01:50:54,970 --> 01:50:55,810 What? I've lost... 2165 01:50:55,890 --> 01:50:57,220 You buried a hedgehog 2166 01:50:57,310 --> 01:50:59,430 and said a eulogy over the fucking grave. 2167 01:50:59,520 --> 01:51:01,640 And you deliberately stuck a piece of tinsel on the ceiling 2168 01:51:01,720 --> 01:51:03,720 - above the stairs. - No, it was there all along. 2169 01:51:03,810 --> 01:51:05,720 - I almost broke my fucking neck. - If you'd asked me, 2170 01:51:05,810 --> 01:51:06,970 I would have held the stepladders. 2171 01:51:07,060 --> 01:51:08,060 If it had been there "all along," 2172 01:51:08,140 --> 01:51:09,520 I would have noticed it. 2173 01:51:09,600 --> 01:51:10,970 But you haven't noticed that there was no point 2174 01:51:11,060 --> 01:51:12,350 in packing a suitcase 2175 01:51:12,430 --> 01:51:15,270 because there is nowhere you can actually go. 2176 01:51:15,350 --> 01:51:17,930 They just extended lockdown by another two weeks. 2177 01:51:21,600 --> 01:51:23,020 Oh, shit. 2178 01:51:25,060 --> 01:51:27,390 [exhales] Well... 2179 01:51:28,850 --> 01:51:30,270 All that for a bag of flour 2180 01:51:30,350 --> 01:51:32,770 and a definitely pre-existing piece of tinsel. 2181 01:51:32,850 --> 01:51:37,390 And because today is my birthday. 2182 01:51:38,520 --> 01:51:39,810 - [mumbles] - It's okay. 2183 01:51:39,890 --> 01:51:41,390 - I know. - [chuckles] It's okay. 2184 01:51:41,470 --> 01:51:43,430 - It's lockdown. - No, I knew that. 2185 01:51:43,520 --> 01:51:46,600 - Nobody knows what day it is, never mind the date. - And I got you something. 2186 01:51:46,680 --> 01:51:48,680 I got you something you really, really want. 2187 01:51:53,270 --> 01:51:54,850 [chuckles] 2188 01:51:56,180 --> 01:51:57,810 Go crazy. 2189 01:52:00,430 --> 01:52:04,180 - Another two weeks? - Another two weeks. 2190 01:52:04,270 --> 01:52:06,970 Well, then, my long suffering public 2191 01:52:07,060 --> 01:52:09,350 may need another poem. 2192 01:52:10,060 --> 01:52:11,220 [Linda] Hmm. 2193 01:52:11,310 --> 01:52:14,140 Counting The Beats by Robert Graves. 2194 01:52:15,470 --> 01:52:19,430 "You, love, and I, you and I, 2195 01:52:19,520 --> 01:52:21,310 and if no more than only you and I, 2196 01:52:21,390 --> 01:52:24,220 what care you and I?" 2197 01:52:24,310 --> 01:52:26,100 [Linda laughing] 2198 01:52:29,350 --> 01:52:35,600 "Counting the beats, counting the slow heartbeats, 2199 01:52:35,680 --> 01:52:40,180 the bleeding to death of time in slow heartbeats, 2200 01:52:40,270 --> 01:52:42,850 wakeful we lie. 2201 01:52:42,930 --> 01:52:48,600 Cloudless day, night, and another cloudless day, 2202 01:52:48,680 --> 01:52:53,350 "yet a huge cloud will burst upon their heads one day." 2203 01:52:53,430 --> 01:52:56,180 And on that day, lockdown will end! 2204 01:52:56,270 --> 01:52:58,060 ["Wigwam" playing] 2205 01:52:59,100 --> 01:53:02,180 "Only here, as we are here, together, 2206 01:53:02,270 --> 01:53:07,350 now and here, always you and I."