- [Elizabeth] You don't wanna miss this.
We have oscillating ostriches,
fresh-smelling ferrets,
meandering moose, careening cats,
drumming ducks, and a paramedic dog
that petrifies his patients.
- [Elizabeth] All this and more right here
on World's Funniest Animals.
Welcome back to World's Funniest Animals.
If you're a fan of hilarious animal videos
then, boy, are you in the right place.
I'm your host, Elizabeth Stanton
joined by my partners in crime, Hank and Ruby,
as well as our panelists, Daniel, Carmen, and Devon.
We are so happy to have you here today.
Let's get this party started, and the best
way I know how, with a little dance fever.
- [Devon] This Parrot loves holidays.
Here he is going all out on St. Patrick's Day.
He's wearing his green,
and there he goes dancing to an Irish jig.
In fact, the only holiday he loves more
is Talk Like a Pirate Day.
That one really hits close to home. Arr!
(audience laughs)
(club music)
- [Carmen] These two will rave like this all night long.
Must be nice to not have to get up for work in the morning.
(music continues)
- [Daniel] So why is this pooch prancing?
I thought only ponies did that.
Ah, of course.
He wants to be part of a dog and pony show.
(audience laughs)
- [Woman] Here comes Fred.
Look at him.
- [Man] Okay, Fred.
Here we go.
- [Woman] Oh, Fred.
- [Devon] This guy obviously thinks that Fred
the ostrich loves his guitar playing.
Sorry, dude.
I think it's just the opposite.
Yup. That giant bird is reacting exactly like
I do when someone scratches their nails on a chalkboard.
Ew.
(audience laughs)
- [Daniel] So this guy thinks he's come up
with the next big thing at weddings
that'll knock the chicken dance right off its roost.
He calls it the gobble wobble.
Sorry, buddy.
I love the chicken dance personally.
At every wedding I've been to
it's always been a big winner, but this new one
it kind of looks more like a turkey to me.
- Friendship isn't just a concept for humans.
Even animals have Best Buddies.
(upbeat music)
- [Carmen] When you have short legs,
it's a little hard to climb
up on these luxury overstuffed mattresses.
But I must tell you
I have never slept better.
And take it from me, spend the extra money
on the golden deluxe heated model like I did.
It's worth every penny.
(audience laughs)
- [Devon] True friends always support you
even when you are embarrassing.
Like when you're out
on the dance floor all night looking stupid
doing that same bad dance move over and over,
with that hey, look at me I'm so cool look on your face.
- [Daniel] Hey dude, you are ruffling
the wrong feathers here.
This bodyguard is not some orange-billed bird brain.
He's a black belt and he will put a quack down
on you so fast, it'll make your head spin.
If you're smart, you'll duck on outta here right now.
Come on buddy.
Better get quacking.
- [Carmen] When you're dog tired
and your muscles are really barking,
there's nothing like a professional massage to
melt the stress away and make you feel like the top dog.
Wow, that cat's good.
In fact, I'd say that massage is absolute purr-fection.
(audience laughs)
- [Devon] Friends come in all shapes and sizes.
You may be skinny and your best friend, a little overweight.
Okay, he actually eats like a pig.
And, yeah, he looks a lot different and doesn't talk much.
He only grunts, but he's your best friend, so it's all cool.
You should have a talk with him about that breath though.
Maybe just leave a bottle
of mouthwash lying around and see if he takes the hint.
- Alright. Yes, I do pick favorites
when it comes to funny clips.
And now here's a few I always laugh at.
I saw a snake down there.
(audience laughs)
Really. It sure looked like a snake.
(audience laughs)
Oh, now I see it.
Sorry. It's just a stick.
Okay, everybody we can get down.
It was a false alarm.
(audience laughs)
Here in Alaska, one of the questions
on the driver's license exam is,
when you see a yield sign what do you have to do?
Answer, stop and let the moose cross.
It takes time for human babies to learn to
use their fingers, arms, and legs.
When you're a baby elephant
you have to deal with an added next level appendage.
That crazy long trunk.
Hey, help. How do you control this thing?
It's got a mind of its own.
They're craving your constant love
and affection in Attention on Me.
Next on World's Funniest Animals.
(theme music)
Welcome back to World's Funniest Animals.
Our pets are usually pretty patient
and let us go on with our day-to-day.
But sometimes they just get in a mood and they
have to let you know it's time to put some Attention on Me.
(upbeat music)
- [Devon] This is a specially trained paramedic dog.
Here he is perfectly demonstrating CPR using
precisely timed compression intervals and pauses.
These dogs can move through tight places
to very quickly reach people in need.
The only problem reported so far is
that healthy people have passed out
after seeing this bizarre looking animal.
(audience laughs)
(upbeat music)
- [Carmen] Hey, I'm down here.
Hello. How about a little belly rub or something?
Wow, it's really hard to get his attention.
Okay, mom's not looking, so I'll just tackle him.
Oh, you fell? So sorry.
Are you okay?
(audience laughs)
Great. Well, since you're down here
how about a little belly rub?
(energetic music)
(audience laughs)
- [Daniel] This girl seems to have all her ducks
in a row and she looks very proud of herself.
But newsflash, that's really not much
of a feather in your cap.
You've only got one duck to worry about
and it looks like it will waddle off
after anyone it thinks is headed for a pond.
(audience laughs)
(upbeat music)
(audience laughs)
- [Carmen] Okay, I've been there.
You go to a new place for a facial and hey
this kind of hurts, but I'm sure she knows what she's doing.
Wow, this is so not what I expected,
but I feel really uncomfortable saying something.
So, maybe if I just hang in there,
I'm sure it'll get better.
Okay. That's it.
This is just too weird.
I'm out of here.
No tip.
And the only thing rougher than this
facial is gonna be the review that I give her.
Too much nails.
(audience laughs)
- [Daniel] Okay. This looks like a movie I haven't seen.
Whoa. What is that.
Lady, look out.
You're about to be eaten by a giant dragon.
Stop looking at your tablet.
You're about to lose your arm.
This is the scariest movie I've ever seen.
Oh, it looks like it's not hungry.
So you're okay for now.
You've just gotta wait until it goes to sleep
and then try to ease your arm out from under it.
Just don't wake it up.
Oh, no.
It doesn't seem sleepy either.
Okay, she's toast.
- Sometimes animals need a little alone time too.
This next segment highlights that perfectly.
It's Don't Mess With Me.
- [Devon] Here's a new alternative to the flea collar.
Completely non-toxic,
so it's safe for your dog and the whole family.
So comfortable your pooch won't even know it's there.
Well, okay.
It might take a little time to get used to it,
especially the quacking.
(audience laughs)
- [Woman] Domino, Domino.
- [Daniel] Help, call the vet.
The dog is... hold on.
He's just playing possum.
Yep. Whenever his social battery hits empty,
Domino just turns off completely,
and he's not coming back to life until he's good and ready.
I wish I could get away with this, but if I tried it
someone would call 911.
Hey, someone would call 911 right?
(audience laughs)
- [Carmen] Remember, even if it's not much by your standards
the most meager home is someone's castle.
(person yelping and laughing)
That's not the first time a homeowner flew
into a rage when their sacred privacy was invaded.
Try to be a little more respectful in the future.
- [Devon] This is not some ordinary couch.
It's a whoopee cushion.
Whoopee. It's the perfect hiding place to pop
into when you need some you time.
So now that you know all about it
can you just make like a ball and bounce outta here?
Please.
(audience laughs)
- [Elizabeth] Grab a towel and run the water
because it's Bath Time.
Next, on World's Funniest Animals.
(theme music)
You're watching World's Funniest Animals
and I'm your host, Elizabeth Stanton.
In this next segment, we're gonna take a closer look
at some pets getting cleaned up
in a little segment we call Bath Time.
- [Man] Hey, Bono, time to get a bath.
Let's go.
(dog barks)
Get in there.
- [Devon] Saying that this old dog gets a little cranky when
it's bath time would be quite an understatement.
Okay. Who gets to be the lucky one to take him to the vet?
(audience laughs)
- [Carmen] Now, here's some animals
that you don't have to coax into the bath.
It seems like you have to actually drag them out of it.
Wait, what?
We're outta the hot water already?
That's just not fair-et.
- [Woman] Here's the last one.
(piglets splashing water)
- [Daniel] Mom said it's bath day, so we have to take a bath
before we can go outside to play, and here we are.
Okay, we're all clean.
Now we can go outside and roll in the mud.
Woohoo.
(audience laughs)
- [Carmen] Don't you just hate cleaning your shower?
Who doesn't?
Why not outsource this tedious chore
to one of our merry masked maids?
We will clean those tiny cracks
and crevices with attention to every detail.
We will make sure your shower is so clean
you will barely raccoon-ize it.
(audience laughs)
- [Devon] Oh, I just wanna sulk in the bath.
Mom says it's too rainy outside to go for a walk.
Oh, I'm so miserable.
(audience laughs)
- [Daniel] Okay, time for a quick bath.
I'll get in all the important things.
A little tail chasing.
A bit of digging.
Okay, all good.
I'm done.
Remember Mom,
You said quick bath, then dinner.
Perfect. Now let's eat.
(audience laughs)
- Goats. They always look a little different
and they have their good days and bad days,
but they're always cute and funny.
I'll show you what I mean in, I'm Not Kidding.
- [Carmen] Evolution gave goats the agility
to climb on precarious places like
the mountains their ancestors lived on.
So maybe in another million years
they'll be good on trampolines.
(audience laughs)
Just not now.
Not yet.
(audience laughs)
(goat bleating)
- [Daniel] Ooh. This old goat is clearly unhappy about life.
I think therapy is in order for the animal,
and also for anyone who has to live within earshot of him.
(goat bleating)
- [Devon] Hammocks are super comfortable to relax in.
They can be a little tricky to get into sometimes.
And standing on them, not recommended.
- [Woman] Uh oh, Samson, get back up.
- [Devon] This is the newest sport.
Backyard surfing.
Sorry. I just don't think this one has the legs.
- [Woman] You're not gonna get back up?
Ouch.
(audience laughs)
- [Carmen] These guys clearly did not observe the
three is a crowd rule.
Hey we're embarrassed enough.
Okay? Can you put the camera
down and give us a little help, please?
- [Devon] These two like to kid around,
but one of them is always the butt of the joke.
(audience laughs)
- [Elizabeth] Stick around.
We've got pets showing off their amazing skills.
Coming up next on World's Funniest Animals.
(theme music)
Welcome back to World's Funniest Animals.
Our pets can do some pretty incredible things.
Get ready to marvel at their skills in our segment
Most Talented.
- [Daniel] That's one and two.
There's three.
Four.
And Five. Done.
Ha ha.
What's my time?
15 seconds?
Not good enough.
There's a poodle who can do it in 12.
Okay, let's try again.
(audience laughs)
- [Devon] Wow, buddy.
You look like you've got the weight
of the world on your shoulders
or actually on your head,
and that's even worse.
Come on, let's take a break and talk about it.
It can't be all that bad.
(audience laughs)
(rhythmic tapping)
- [Carmen] Okay? He's got the rhythm
and the chops to really lay
down the groove. When it comes to catchy beats,
he truly has quacked the code.
This is no lame duck.
(audience laughs)
(energetic music)
- [Devon] This is incredible.
But I can't decide which is most amazing.
The jumping dog, or the ones that lie there perfectly still.
Okay. No, I figured it out.
It's easy to let sleeping dogs lie, but jumping over them?
That takes some real skill.
Hey, Evil Knievel did some amazing stunts on two wheels.
He never did any on two legs.
(plucking piano keys)
- [Carmen] Okay now there is some real talent.
I actually heard she's
in negotiations for a Vegas residency
and her weekly fee is definitely not chicken feed.
Tell you that.
(audience laughs)
(upbeat music)
- [Daniel] Wow, this woman seems pretty
over the top excited.
Okay, so your cockatoo can slam dunk
but is that really so amazing?
After all, he is a head taller
than the net and is standing right next to it.
Seems like any bird brain could do that.
(audience laughs)
- Oh, better Watch your footing.
Whoops. Too late.
Here's Slip and Slide.
- [Devon] Cats have evolved to walk on any surface
then jump, right themselves in midair,
and land gracefully on their feet.
(audience laughs)
Okay? Make that any surface except ice or snow.
(upbeat music)
(audience laughs)
- [Carmen] Sure. Right now it's all fun and games.
Too bad the whole day is gonna be ruined later when they
get home to find that their porridge has been all eaten up.
(audience laughs)
- [Daniel] Ah. A little time at the playground brings
out the kid in all of us.
(audience laughs)
- [Devon] Okay, here he goes.
First, 30 minutes on the elliptical.
(audience laughs)
Then the spin class.
(audience laughs)
Great. Now he's ready for a full day
of sleeping on the couch.
(audience laughs)
- [Daniel] Okay. I've seen the kids do it.
Can't be too hard.
Oh almost, try again.
Here we go.
Whoa. It seemed easier when they did it.
Okay. Maybe from the side.
Whoa.
Maybe if I get a running start.
No, no.
They say every dog has his day.
Uh, it's just not today for this dog.
(audience laughs)
- Well, that's almost it for us, but in case you
missed anything along the way
here's a quick recap of all of our funniest moments.
We had terrifying tegu lizards,
possum playing pooches,
basketball birds,
descending dogs,
cranky quackers,
and a doggy duo that can dance until the sun comes up.
(energetic music)
- Thanks so much to our panel,
and thank you for tuning in.
I'm Elizabeth Stanton.
We'll see you next time on World's Funniest Animals.