(MUSIC PLAYING)
NARRATOR: Once upon a time, in a faraway land,
there was a lowly mouse,
who dreamed of being the greatest knight in all the kingdom.
(FANFARE PLAYS)
Good citizens, today, we honor Sir Mortimer.
Sir Mortimer's my own personal hero.
One day, I'm gonna be a knight just like him.
CROWD: Shh!
For saving the kingdom from the fearsome fire-breathing dragon,
I award you the Medal of Courage.
-(CROWD CHEERS) -Booyah!
Yes, being a brave dragon-slaying knight is a dangerous business.
Just ask my former squire. He certainly couldn't stand the heat.
But his misfortune is your opportunity.
Who among you have the right stuff to be my new squire?
(STAMMERS)
-I... -Here. I'll be your squire.
No. I'll be your squire.
Pick me! Pick me!
(CHANTS) Mortimer! Mortimer!
Hmm.
Woo-hoo!
-(SNAPS) -Perfect.
-(BOTH CRY) -(MICKEY LAUGHS)
NARRATOR: And so, the young lad's dreams seemed closer than ever.
One day, I hope to be a great knight like you.
Brave and bold and chivalrous.
-You're so chivalrous! -Yeah, whatever, kid.
Huh? Whoa!
-(TROLL GROWLS) -(VILLAGERS SCREAM)
SIR MORTIMER: Looks like there's some troll trouble ahead.
-Oh, my. He's a big fella. -Your sword, My Lord.
Whoa, hey, wait, uh, pump the brakes, kid!
To be a knight, the first thing you have to learn is, how to use strategy.
Knight lessons.
What we need is a distraction, that would be you,
to get the troll's attention. Then I'll swoop in and smite him.
So, do I get a weapon?
Uh... Yeah. Uh, um...
Here. I bestow unto thee, this, um, wooden spoon.
Wooden spoon?
-Distraction! -(TROLL GROWLS)
Come and get me, you big meanie!
-Huh? -(SHUDDERS)
-(TROLL GROWLS) -Wow. No, no, no, no, no!
Ah. Oh, hey! Go away, tongue. (YELPS)
Whoa! (GRUNTS)
-Huh? (YELPS) -(TROLL GROWLS)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
Oh, whoa! (YELPS)
Sir Mortimer has vanquished the beast!
(VILLAGERS CHEER)
NARRATOR: Sir Mortimer had saved the day.
But the little squire was unsure of what the knight had actually done.
(CLAMORING)
NARRATOR: Still, the kingdom was filled with dangers,
and the knight's talents were needed again.
You distract them and I'll swoop in and save the day!
Okay. Uh... You are gonna swoop in, though, right?
-On my honor as a knight. -Then you can count on me.
Have at thee, foul fiends.
-(CRASHING) -(MICKEY GRUNTING)
-Distraction, distraction, distraction! -Ah!
(YELLING)
(YELLING GIBBERISH)
(SCREAMING)
Foul fiends, Sir Mortimer has vanquished thee.
What the heck?
NARRATOR: The more adventures they had,
the more the squire realized that he did all the work,
while Sir Mortimer took all the credit.
Soon, the poor little squire became disillusioned.
(CHUCKLES) Ye olde village noticeboard.
-(CRASHING) -(CAT YOWLING)
Now, how should I spread my glory today?
Hm. An ogre? No. Giant? No. Ooh, the plague's in town.
-Problem, pal? -Yeah!
You're supposed to be the greatest knight in the kingdom, honorable and brave,
but you don't actually do anything.
Look, kid, squires like you are a dime a dozen.
You wanna be a knight like me, then you suck it up and do as I say.
Well, if being a knight means being like you...
then I don't wanna be a knight!
(BLUBBERS)
All I ever dreamt of was being a knight. Goodbye, dream.
(INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
MICKEY: A dragon?
Queen Minnie. The kingdom! They're in trouble!
So, I looked him straight in the eye and then, I smite-ted him.
And yet, your armor's still shiny and clean.
-Hm? A dragon! -(CUP CRASHING)
Oh, thank goodness you're... here.
-Help! Sir Mortimer, your queen needs you! -Gangway!
-Out of my way, squire. -But you're a knight!
-You're supposed to protect the Queen! -No, I'm a coward. And I don't wanna die.
(MICKEY GRUNTS)
(ROARS)
Charge!
(SQUAWKS)
Raise the drawbridge!
(SCREAMS)
(ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING)
(DINGS)
(GROWLS, GULPS)
(GROWLS, ROARS)
(WHEEZES)
(COUGHS, WHEEZES)
Oh, no. (WHIMPERS)
-(VILLAGERS CHEERING) -And stay out! Sir Mortimer has...
-Hip, hip, hooray! -Hip, hip, hooray!
(SMOOCHES)
NARRATOR: And so, the brave little squire was knighted by Queen Minnie.
Mortimer was revealed for the fraud he was.
And Mickey's dream came true,
as he became the greatest knight that ever lived.
The end.
(MUSIC PLAYING)