Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
What is that?
Blood?
What is that box?
"Do not open"?
Holy fuck, it smells!
What?
Fuck, where are the lights?
Welcome back.
Pretty, pretty thing.
All innocent in white.
Don't you wish to join the creatures of the night?
They say you should be good,
and they tie you up in rules,
but your mommy didn't have you by being a good girl.
Ignore that.
Thou shalt not.
It only leads to torture and war.
Embrace what thou wills,
and discover yourself and more.
So, break the bones and dance.
Just follow your heart's desires.
Let your passions blow wild and free,
and set the world on fire!
This is my moment.
Looking good!
Fire!
What the hell are you doing in here?
This is the coroner report
of county coroner Michael Smith.
Patient is a white male, approximately 46 years old.
No apparent signs of strangulation.
Toxicity report came back negative.
Organ analysis shows no sign of other interior disease,
and there did not appear to be any outward sign of struggle.
According to the police report,
the patient was found on the living room floor,
and there were no signs of forced entry.
In my professional opinion,
this patient died of natural causes.
And that's all anyone's ever gonna know.
Jenny, I need to talk to you!
Leave me the fuck alone.
- No, it's important! - Leave me alone, weirdo.
Reports of pets in the area
going missing in the night.
Locals authorities suggest, if you have a pet-
Good night, dad.
Good night, pudding.
Gotcha!
Ah, perfect.
There, there, child.
Hi, we're back.
We had such a lovely time at the park.
It's a pity you missed it.
Who's we?
Huh?
What the?
Oh my God.
Sit down!
Sit down, sit down!
Shut up, shut up, hand it over!
What?
What do you think?
Let go and hand it over, now!
What makes you think I won't use this?
It's not that easy to kill someone with that thing.
Certainly not the first one.
You can have your finger on that trigger,
and your finger is squeezing real hard like,
but then, your finger and your brain,
that all-important connection, then-
Oh my God, oh my God!
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh no!
Do you confess to the murder of Amber Smith?
Yes.
Did you know the victim personally?
No.
Then why did you do it?
It's the blood.
It's all about the blood, man.
Do you want to know if they're mine?
I'll tell you what you really want to know.
You want to know
how long it took for me to drain the blood from their body.
You want to know.
All the juicy, gory details,
like how I ripped out their hearts.
Don't tell me what I did.
I'll tell you what I did.
That's how this goes.
I'm the only one that knows.
Me!
No one else!
No one else.
Do you want to know their names?
Well, then fetch me my hat.
This isn't a discussion!
Get me
my hat!
Hat.
Fucking bitch.
I hope you don't have any kids.
My savior!
Oh, honey.
Hey.
Hey, have you seen Dan anywhere?
No, I haven't.
Oh, he's always late.
Do you know where my purse is?
Uh, yeah, inside the bedroom, I think.
Emily.
Open the door!
There's someone in here!
Open the door, please!
Open the door!
Open it, please, there's someone in here!
Open the door!
Hey, what's going on?
I just heard screaming.
It's just a Halloween prank.
Oh.
Yeah, Dan's inside,
scaring her with some stupid mask or something.
Oh.
What?
- Dan? - Hey.
Sorry I'm late.
Where's Emily?
Shit.
Get off my lawn, you man bun wearing assholes!
Man buns, be a real man and grow a beard!
You're a fucking scumbag, so I need the money now.
All right, I got it.
Yeah, it won't be a problem.
Oh, I'm dead.
Do you agree? He does agree.
What the fuck was that?
If you're buying street drugs,
watch out for the mushrooms
that have the little red dots on them.
I know I'm tripping balls.
Die, die, die!
You want some more?
Die, die, die, die!
You want some more?
A truly great thing he has done.
Hello, Karl. Remember me?
Picture the face.
Yeah, you remember.
It's not a very good thing when you laugh in my face.
Fuck off, whatever.
It brings me to this horrible boiling point,
and I just erupt.
It makes me very, very angry.
Really?
I know where this fuck-up of a man
that I'm starting at, right before me, lives,
and I will come for you, Karl.
You ain't coming here.
You will really, really regret the day
that you ever laughed in my fucking face.
Where the fuck are you?
This ain't real.
It's happening.
No, no, no!
Come on, no, no!
No, no, leave me alone!
What do you want? No!
Oh, baby!
Hey, baby, do you want to get kinky?
Fuck yeah!
The safe word is "muffin lived".
Muffin, oh...
Okay, strike that from the record.
You like that?
All right, yeah.
What are you doing, honey?
Oh, shit, muffin, muffin lived, muffin lived, muffin lived!
Okay.
I don't want to get kinky anymore.
Don't touch the coin.
Put it back.
Stay out. Stay out.
Stay out!
Get out.
Get out. Stay out.
Leave the woods.
Don't touch the coin, run!
Get out!
Get out, get out!
Run, don't touch the coin!
Stay out, stay out!
Run.
Help me.
She's beautiful,
And she was beautiful when she died 300 years ago.
Well, hold the stake above her heart,
and I will end her unholy-
- Whoa, whoa, when do I get to use the mallet?
What?
Well, it's just, you know,
I'm always stuck holding the stake,
and let's be honest, your aim isn't as good as it used to.
One mistake, once!
How am I ever going to learn
if you won't give me a chance?
Oh, so now you're the master vampire hunter.
Is that it?
Old Man Herdenburg can't cut the mustard anymore.
Is that what people are saying?
Sir, I meant no disrespect.
No, it is I who should apologize.
You serve me faithfully and well these many years.
You've earned it.
To you goes the honor of the kill.
Oh, where did she go?
Jeez.
Cut.
Ah!
Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull