1
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:11,929
Necrophilia Nancy 38.
2
00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:14,306
Me! Bingo!
3
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:17,226
Nipple 32.
4
00:00:18,227 --> 00:00:20,896
And a big boner four.
5
00:00:22,147 --> 00:00:27,402
I am feeling horny for orgasm 69.
6
00:00:28,195 --> 00:00:30,697
I got it! 69! 69.
7
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,492
I've got bingo. Bingo!
8
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:08,277
Listen to me.
9
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,989
You're beautiful.
10
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:16,201
And you're strong,
and you're gonna outlive us all.
11
00:01:17,411 --> 00:01:19,955
Don't take any shit from anybody.
12
00:01:20,998 --> 00:01:23,125
Now go get 'em. Huh?
13
00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:29,423
Hey. What happened?
14
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:30,841
- Hey, Milton.
- Hey, Peggy.
15
00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:34,052
What happened is you stole $3,000
from my safe, Peggy.
16
00:01:34,052 --> 00:01:36,555
Look at the footage.
Have you looked at the footage?
17
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,432
It's broken.
18
00:01:39,141 --> 00:01:40,142
And what's that?
19
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:44,062
- They left the rest.
- What is that, like two grand?
20
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:46,481
- Fifteen hundred.
- Have you met me?
21
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,318
You think I'd leave 1,500 bucks
on the table?
22
00:01:49,318 --> 00:01:52,654
And this animal who jacked your safe,
they weren't a pro.
23
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:54,364
How'd they crack it?
24
00:01:54,865 --> 00:01:56,116
They used the combination.
25
00:01:56,617 --> 00:02:01,163
Well, I don't have the combination,
so I'm cleared.
26
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,874
You're the one who comes in here
for the Keurig,
27
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,418
which is against the rules by the way.
28
00:02:06,418 --> 00:02:09,213
So, nobody else sneaks in here
for the Keurig?
29
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,843
Everybody uses the Keurig, Owen.
30
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:16,303
What are you doing, Peggy?
31
00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,097
All right, we got 20 empty K-Cups here.
32
00:02:19,097 --> 00:02:21,350
I can't drink that much shitty coffee
in a week.
33
00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:24,144
Somebody knows the combo
to that safe, Owen.
34
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,146
Nobody knows the combo.
35
00:02:26,146 --> 00:02:31,485
Unless, indulge me,
everybody knows the combo.
36
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:33,403
- Hey.
- What are you doing?
37
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:34,821
I'm following a hunch here.
38
00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,367
I know the P-town alarm code.
What's the alarm code, Owen?
39
00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,202
This is the safe, Peggy.
40
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,622
Everybody who opens or closes this place
knows the alarm code.
41
00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:44,873
So I wonder if--
42
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:51,046
Two, 18, 50.
43
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,717
It's the same as the alarm code.
What is it with this?
44
00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:58,387
It's my mother's birthday.
45
00:02:59,221 --> 00:03:00,681
What?
46
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,558
It's my mother's birthday.
47
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:06,353
So your mother's birthday is
the skeleton key for your entire life?
48
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,566
Look, clean up your passwords
and get over your mother.
49
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:11,859
She's not that into you.
50
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,195
Come on, let me take the kid,
she's innocent.
51
00:03:49,146 --> 00:03:51,607
Pioneertown's security is
a real shit show,
52
00:03:51,607 --> 00:03:54,026
so that's the first job
that I'm bringing in,
53
00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,569
but that's chump change.
54
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,030
But if this Picasso's what I think it is,
and it is,
55
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:00,115
the finder's fee is one million.
56
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:02,784
And if you think
I'm taking just 10% of that,
57
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:05,871
- you're out of your mind.
- Look at this. Who does this?
58
00:04:05,871 --> 00:04:06,955
So listen,
59
00:04:06,955 --> 00:04:10,209
one, we get the reward.
Two, we get the press.
60
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,128
Three,
we parlay that spotlight into huge jobs.
61
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:17,048
So, we get into this guru's house,
we vet that fucking Picasso,
62
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,927
and if it is the one from the Paris heist,
then we can--
63
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:21,512
What are you doing?
64
00:04:21,512 --> 00:04:22,971
What am I doing?
65
00:04:22,971 --> 00:04:26,934
I'm trying to download
some new security software.
66
00:04:26,934 --> 00:04:30,854
I got my last big client coming tomorrow,
and if he doesn't think I'm up to speed,
67
00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:34,399
we're gonna be
working outta my car next week.
68
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:36,777
Jesus.
69
00:04:42,241 --> 00:04:44,368
No, you don't chew enough. I've noticed.
70
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,621
What about my plan, huh?
71
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,707
Just plan on getting to class on time.
72
00:04:50,707 --> 00:04:53,168
The guy's doing us a favor.
Don't make me look bad.
73
00:04:53,168 --> 00:04:57,798
Come on, this fucking class?
After everything I've accomplished?
74
00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,217
It's been one week.
75
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:02,761
Ten days. Plus, school's for morons.
76
00:05:03,262 --> 00:05:05,514
I'm already flying. You want me to crawl?
77
00:05:05,514 --> 00:05:07,349
Do you wanna be more than an intern?
78
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:08,976
An unpaid associate.
79
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:13,105
You got to learn the law,
learn what a PI can do, legally.
80
00:05:13,105 --> 00:05:15,357
How 'bout that, huh?
I'm not going to jail for you.
81
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:18,986
- I could do this shit in my sleep.
- Wonderful. All right.
82
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,279
Please.
83
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,908
Okay, I already downloaded it,
you stupid fuck!
84
00:05:26,076 --> 00:05:27,327
That's it. Okay.
85
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:38,672
Let's see.
86
00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,633
Yeah, that's something.
87
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:47,598
Yes.
88
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,562
Where is--
89
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:04,698
Welcome to the Security Guard
and Private Investigator Training.
90
00:06:06,158 --> 00:06:07,492
Can I get your name?
91
00:06:09,203 --> 00:06:11,580
Let's just see how it goes first.
92
00:06:17,169 --> 00:06:20,214
To become a certified PI,
93
00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:24,593
you'll need 50 hours of training.
94
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:52,120
Let's begin with the syllabus.
95
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,758
Sorry, violent stomach issues. I'm sorry.
96
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:15,018
I don't have 50 hours to spend
with Grandfather Time.
97
00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:17,813
That guy's remedial, I'm a prodigy.
98
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,148
Did you sign in, in the class?
99
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:21,525
No, I refused.
100
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:24,111
So, he doesn't know
what Peggy Newman looks like.
101
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,530
Anybody could be Peggy Newman.
I could be Peggy Newman.
102
00:07:27,114 --> 00:07:29,241
I can sit there, I can take this class.
103
00:07:29,241 --> 00:07:32,369
And then I can learn how to hack,
and then I can get into the databases
104
00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,121
and find out what
the government knows about me.
105
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,205
This is great.
106
00:07:35,205 --> 00:07:37,416
And you can help me find
this fucking guru's house
107
00:07:37,416 --> 00:07:39,710
and maybe I can check out his Picasso.
108
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:43,046
We're gonna kill it together.
I love you, Carol.
109
00:07:50,179 --> 00:07:54,016
Mommy! Hey, lady! Mommy!
110
00:07:55,100 --> 00:07:58,103
I just saw my mother, I swear to God.
111
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:02,191
- Carol, it was Roslyn.
- Wait, you saw her in the casket, right?
112
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:05,110
Yeah but, I'm telling you,
Mommy just got on the bus.
113
00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:09,656
Carol, do you hear me?
114
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,284
Could I be dead right now?
115
00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:13,744
I can hear you.
116
00:08:15,454 --> 00:08:16,747
Are you dead with me?
117
00:08:18,540 --> 00:08:22,252
Hey! Are you seeing me right now?
118
00:08:23,253 --> 00:08:24,338
Yes or no?
119
00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:26,465
Wh--
120
00:08:26,465 --> 00:08:27,925
Okay, thank you.
121
00:08:27,925 --> 00:08:30,469
You know what,
I think I'm okay over here, yeah.
122
00:08:30,469 --> 00:08:32,846
That's weird, that was like
a acid flashback or something,
123
00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,972
but I get those all the time,
but this was different.
124
00:08:35,682 --> 00:08:37,726
Okay, I gotta get to rehearsal.
125
00:08:37,726 --> 00:08:42,356
Siobhan's always trying
to reinvent the cancan. Gotta go. Okay.
126
00:08:42,356 --> 00:08:46,527
All right, I know y'all are excited to get
to the cartwheel, but first, we twirl.
127
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,737
And five, six, seven, eight,
128
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:52,449
twirl, twirl. Get in line, good.
129
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:59,748
Hop, hop, hop, kick. Hop, hop, hop, kick.
130
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,501
Rehearsal's over, Peggy.
131
00:09:03,293 --> 00:09:04,503
I'll catch up.
132
00:09:04,503 --> 00:09:06,463
Well, we added a few twirls.
133
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,215
- Easy.
- All right,
134
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,133
let's take it from the top then, shall we?
135
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,969
Five, six, seven, eight.
136
00:09:11,969 --> 00:09:14,346
Twirl, twirl, twirl.
137
00:09:14,930 --> 00:09:16,390
Get in line, Peggy.
138
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:20,435
Hop, hop, hop, kick.
Hop, hop, not it, Peggy.
139
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,146
- Hop, hop, hop, kick. And keep twirling.
- I got you.
140
00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,731
Peggy, okay.
141
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:26,817
Good job, ladies.
142
00:09:27,693 --> 00:09:28,777
Oh, Peggy.
143
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:34,074
I would like to see you outside
of work hours, in 21st century clothes.
144
00:09:34,867 --> 00:09:37,160
Let's not get ahead of ourselves, huh?
145
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:42,708
I keep thinkin' about what you said,
that there's one great love left in you.
146
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:46,295
Yep. I want what Isolde and Tristan had
or nothing less.
147
00:09:47,129 --> 00:09:48,922
Well, you know they died at the end.
148
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:52,676
Just their flesh.
Trees sprang out of their graves.
149
00:09:55,721 --> 00:09:57,931
Look, we have chemistry, okay.
150
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,016
Yeah.
151
00:10:00,017 --> 00:10:01,101
And I'm no prude.
152
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:05,814
I've had more sex than Wilt Chamberlain,
so I know a thing or two about the flesh,
153
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:11,653
but I need that thing
that I have always missed.
154
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:17,784
And maybe that's you and me.
It takes time to figure it out.
155
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:21,538
So, if that means that you
need to see other people,
156
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,748
I can live with that.
157
00:10:29,421 --> 00:10:31,715
- What about Brenda from Accounting?
- Shit-bag.
158
00:10:31,715 --> 00:10:33,550
- With the owl pins?
- Well--
159
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,302
- I can live with that.
- He dumped me.
160
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:38,305
- He threw me out half-naked.
- I know.
161
00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:42,893
Look who decided
to come back to her job after a week.
162
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,356
- Oh, my God.
- What?
163
00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:52,611
She's got big old jugs.
She didn't have big jugs before.
164
00:10:52,611 --> 00:10:55,322
Why doesn't he love me?
165
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:58,742
- Okay.
- Do you want a hug? Oh, my God.
166
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,202
He dumped her.
167
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:04,540
Where did she get those? Jugs cost coin.
168
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:08,126
I love watching your mind work.
169
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:12,714
I can get you the money back,
plus interest,
170
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,175
but I get
the Pioneertown security contract.
171
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:17,261
No, not if you don't tell me who it was.
172
00:11:17,261 --> 00:11:18,887
Hey, I'm no rat.
173
00:11:19,638 --> 00:11:21,598
You should've seen
the look on my mother's face.
174
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:26,562
I've seen it. She has one look.
You can interpret it lots of ways.
175
00:11:26,562 --> 00:11:31,108
She was very upset about this.
She was very upset at me.
176
00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:33,026
Yeah, well,
her birthday was used against her.
177
00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,237
That money was
for the President's Day show,
178
00:11:35,237 --> 00:11:38,031
which is make-it-or-break-it time for us.
179
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,242
And I had to get this new safe.
180
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:43,954
Have you heard about Slide City?
181
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,541
They're expanding,
and it's not just water slides anymore.
182
00:11:47,541 --> 00:11:50,794
No, now they got surfing.
183
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,089
Their billboards are insane.
184
00:11:54,089 --> 00:11:57,301
Well, we can expand too.
Bring in some Civil War shit.
185
00:11:57,885 --> 00:12:01,388
I'm sad that somebody out there,
one of them,
186
00:12:01,388 --> 00:12:03,849
- somebody that I treat like family...
- Do you?
187
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,226
...walked in here and stole from me.
188
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,355
Get the cops off our back,
I'll get you the money back.
189
00:12:10,355 --> 00:12:11,982
It'll clean you up with your mother.
190
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,361
You have 24 hours.
191
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,156
Yeah, I'd like 72 or four days.
192
00:12:20,157 --> 00:12:22,618
Forty-eight hours,
it's two days, but no more.
193
00:12:22,618 --> 00:12:24,203
I'm serious Peggy, no more.
194
00:12:24,203 --> 00:12:27,289
- Okay, fine, agreed. Sixty hours.
- No-- Peggy!
195
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:33,754
Whiskey.
196
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:38,425
I ain't seen you
around these parts before, stranger.
197
00:12:39,259 --> 00:12:43,138
There's been a crime
and your tits are the smoking gun, hon.
198
00:12:43,138 --> 00:12:44,598
You damn cheater!
199
00:12:50,729 --> 00:12:51,772
Here we go!
200
00:12:51,772 --> 00:12:53,524
I don't know what you're talking about.
201
00:12:53,524 --> 00:12:58,070
Two knockers and no boyfriend
equals a felony, and you know it.
202
00:12:58,779 --> 00:12:59,780
Uh-uh?
203
00:13:05,786 --> 00:13:07,663
They got prints off the safe.
204
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,791
- I had to! I had to do it!
- Oh, Jesus.
205
00:13:10,791 --> 00:13:14,044
He was gonna pay for them
but then he broke up with me.
206
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:16,046
I need the edge to get him back.
207
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:18,632
He can have anybody he wants, Peggy.
208
00:13:22,553 --> 00:13:25,514
You can do better than that ass bag!
209
00:13:26,181 --> 00:13:27,391
Look out!
210
00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:29,476
He's a celebrity and a guru.
211
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:32,855
He does this thing
where he puts his fingers all over my face
212
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,399
and I can't tell you how powerful it is.
213
00:13:35,399 --> 00:13:37,734
Do you wanna go to jail
for this fucking guy?
214
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,903
I'll scrape it together. I'll pay it back.
215
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,113
Can you tell them?
216
00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:48,203
I'll scrape it together for you
if you'll swear off of this fucknut, okay?
217
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:52,249
- Really?
- He is a fraud and a creep.
218
00:13:53,834 --> 00:13:55,252
Take a look at yourself.
219
00:13:56,170 --> 00:13:57,171
Come on, now.
220
00:13:57,171 --> 00:13:59,464
Okay, you do look good.
221
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,467
Okay? Especially for three grand,
which is insane!
222
00:14:03,594 --> 00:14:06,805
Look, I'll take care of it, okay?
223
00:14:07,598 --> 00:14:09,391
What's this fucking swami's address?
224
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,284
Okay.
225
00:14:29,578 --> 00:14:31,997
- Uh-uh, I'm just picking up some cash.
- May I have the keys?
226
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,625
- Just 'cause I have to move it?
- I don't want it scratched.
227
00:14:38,795 --> 00:14:39,922
Thank you.
228
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:47,971
As you exhale,
release the bondage of perception.
229
00:14:51,141 --> 00:14:52,142
Look again.
230
00:14:53,435 --> 00:14:55,229
Can you see what it is now?
231
00:14:55,229 --> 00:14:58,398
Can you see the masterpiece
that's in front of you?
232
00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,610
Yeah, I don't like it.
233
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,695
- It's--
- Okay,
234
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,155
- close your eyes again.
- No, nah.
235
00:15:05,155 --> 00:15:06,949
That was making me nauseous. None of that.
236
00:15:06,949 --> 00:15:09,701
Sotheby's just sold a Picasso
for 30 million.
237
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:11,537
It was a lot bigger than this one,
238
00:15:11,537 --> 00:15:15,040
but this really is the most
important painting in all of cubism.
239
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:17,000
The Pigeon with peas started a revolution.
240
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,836
Where's the pigeon?
I don't even see the pigeon.
241
00:15:18,836 --> 00:15:21,004
- It's a-- The pigeon's in there.
- Can you point out, like,
242
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:23,632
- a beak or anything?
- No, I can't point out a beak.
243
00:15:23,632 --> 00:15:27,678
What I can point out is that this painting
has not been on the market for decades
244
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:31,265
and that window is rapidly closing,
so can you afford it?
245
00:15:31,265 --> 00:15:36,687
Or perhaps the question should really be,
"Can you afford not to afford it?"
246
00:15:36,687 --> 00:15:39,147
I can afford it,
I just don't like it. It's stupid.
247
00:15:39,147 --> 00:15:44,236
This is cubism. It is total nonsense, yes.
But it is high nonsense.
248
00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:45,320
No, it's not.
249
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:50,158
He's fucking with perception, memory,
the whole time-space continuum.
250
00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:51,243
Yes.
251
00:15:51,743 --> 00:15:55,747
But, in a sense, he is using
an impressionistic expression--
252
00:15:55,747 --> 00:15:59,376
Does the bullshit ever stop with you?
It has nothing to do with impressionism.
253
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:03,172
What you're looking at here is the past
and the future in the present.
254
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,508
- His point is to blow your fucking mind.
- Exactly!
255
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:09,887
Picasso's defiance is the point
of this piece.
256
00:16:09,887 --> 00:16:12,222
- It is literally surreal.
- It's not surreal.
257
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,766
This whole fucking conversation
is surreal.
258
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,101
Would you stop talking?
259
00:16:16,602 --> 00:16:17,853
Can I just--
260
00:16:17,853 --> 00:16:21,106
What was that? You just cost me a deal.
You may as well have robbed me.
261
00:16:21,106 --> 00:16:24,276
Uh-huh. How much do you want?
I know some people.
262
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:25,611
What people? You don't know people.
263
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:27,237
Y-- No pictures.
It's not the Grand Canyon.
264
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:28,447
Who are you, lady?
265
00:16:28,447 --> 00:16:31,158
Look, I used to nude model in New York.
Long story.
266
00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:35,537
Anyway, I met this art guy through
Gagosian back in the day, a real shark.
267
00:16:35,537 --> 00:16:37,497
Let's just say he knows his way
around provenance.
268
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,957
I picked up a thing or two.
269
00:16:39,458 --> 00:16:42,461
- And he sold paintings or...
- All of it.
270
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:46,131
I mean, lithographs, paintings,
sculptures, a few weapons.
271
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:50,344
Uh-huh. Well, what say we start over?
272
00:16:50,344 --> 00:16:51,970
I don't believe we've met.
273
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:53,597
No.
274
00:16:54,097 --> 00:16:56,350
- So who did you come with?
- Nobody.
275
00:16:57,309 --> 00:16:58,810
So you're a guru, huh?
276
00:16:58,810 --> 00:17:00,812
- How does that work?
- Let me show you.
277
00:17:12,366 --> 00:17:16,494
No. That shit
doesn't work on me. I'm not Tammy.
278
00:17:16,494 --> 00:17:18,539
You see,
I knew you were working something.
279
00:17:18,539 --> 00:17:19,623
You owe her three grand.
280
00:17:19,623 --> 00:17:22,334
You ordered a pair of jugs
and you left her holding the bag
281
00:17:22,334 --> 00:17:25,753
- and I'm here to collect.
- Okay, how do you know Tammy?
282
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:27,673
Colleagues.
283
00:17:27,673 --> 00:17:30,509
Uh-huh.
I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
284
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:31,760
I know real gurus.
285
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:36,265
I know a guy who can sit cross-legged
in the air. Can you do that?
286
00:17:37,015 --> 00:17:39,142
- Can you go?
- I want Tammy's money.
287
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:43,063
She took it for you
and now she's looking at jail time.
288
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:44,314
Meditate on that.
289
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:48,485
If you truly are a guru,
you'll see the barbarity here.
290
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:51,947
- Hey, can you-- Can I--
- Everything's stupid.
291
00:17:51,947 --> 00:17:54,575
Hey, what are you-- Can you not?
292
00:17:54,575 --> 00:17:56,660
Here.
Call me when you have a change of heart.
293
00:17:57,619 --> 00:18:01,290
- Front door's right down the stairs.
- I gotta piss. I need privacy.
294
00:18:01,290 --> 00:18:03,125
- No.
- Violent stomach issues.
295
00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:04,626
- No.
- I'll be back.
296
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,336
No, not that way. No.
297
00:18:12,551 --> 00:18:14,928
Can you unlock the door, please?
298
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:17,556
Hello?
299
00:18:22,811 --> 00:18:24,021
That's my room.
300
00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:30,027
"Donatella"?
301
00:18:31,403 --> 00:18:33,655
I'll be right out, Maharishi.
302
00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:42,497
- Hello? Open the door.
- It hurts!
303
00:18:56,428 --> 00:18:57,930
I take a lot of Ibuprofen.
304
00:18:57,930 --> 00:18:59,348
It's a nightmare. Don't ask.
305
00:18:59,348 --> 00:19:00,891
Let me know if you need some.
306
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:05,145
All right.
307
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:08,065
- It's okay.
- Well, no. It's not okay.
308
00:19:08,065 --> 00:19:12,069
If the real one's in Boston,
why'd I pay three million for this?
309
00:19:12,861 --> 00:19:14,780
I swear, I didn't know.
310
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,740
You're lying.
311
00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:18,575
This is my daughter, Heather.
312
00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:19,660
Hello.
313
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:21,578
I need my money, Robert.
314
00:19:21,578 --> 00:19:23,539
I don't have it right now.
315
00:19:23,539 --> 00:19:26,041
I mean, I have it,
but it's not really liquid.
316
00:19:27,042 --> 00:19:28,168
Can I take it off?
317
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:30,921
Hey, I can get it. I can get the money.
318
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,840
When can you get it?
319
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:34,800
Well, I mean, it's three million dollars.
320
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,926
It's gonna take me a second.
321
00:19:35,926 --> 00:19:38,136
- Hey, just--
- Can I take it, Daddy?
322
00:19:38,136 --> 00:19:41,348
- Jesus Christ, lady!
- Give it a nick. Just a nick.
323
00:19:41,348 --> 00:19:43,600
No! Shit!
324
00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:46,645
Good. I wanted to meet the caterer.
325
00:19:46,645 --> 00:19:49,815
Who thought of putting together
watermelon and feta?
326
00:19:52,150 --> 00:19:53,151
Unbelievable!
327
00:20:06,832 --> 00:20:08,959
Bruce Harvey Investigations.
328
00:20:08,959 --> 00:20:10,961
Leave a message. I'll get back to you.
329
00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:14,006
Big headline.
I found the guy with the painting.
330
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:17,634
You remember that
"Everything's stupid" guy?
331
00:20:18,343 --> 00:20:22,014
The anchorman who went nuts
and started calling himself "guru."
332
00:20:22,598 --> 00:20:23,599
That's him.
333
00:20:24,433 --> 00:20:26,810
Weird shit is going down there.
334
00:20:27,769 --> 00:20:32,774
Crazy house, possible stolen paintings,
people with knives.
335
00:20:33,609 --> 00:20:35,694
Plus his nipple's bleeding.
336
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,404
Call me.
337
00:20:41,909 --> 00:20:44,745
I've got it! I've got bingo. Bingo!
338
00:21:02,804 --> 00:21:05,432
I saw a prescription bottle at the guru's.
339
00:21:05,933 --> 00:21:07,476
I just happened to see it.
340
00:21:08,352 --> 00:21:12,147
- It was for a Donatella Scarborough.
- Donatella Scarborough.
341
00:21:12,147 --> 00:21:14,233
I'm gonna Internet stalk that shit.
342
00:21:25,869 --> 00:21:27,287
Where are you right now?
343
00:21:28,872 --> 00:21:30,874
I'm at the Grand Oasis.
344
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:34,920
I just wanna play bingo
and I don't even have money for dabbers.
345
00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:36,755
Listen. Listen to me.
346
00:21:36,755 --> 00:21:41,844
I want you to say something out loud.
347
00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:47,140
"Money comes easily."
348
00:21:47,850 --> 00:21:48,851
That's right.
349
00:21:49,643 --> 00:21:52,020
"Money comes easily."
350
00:21:55,232 --> 00:21:56,859
"Money comes easily."
351
00:22:08,412 --> 00:22:10,747
Hey, you wanna smoke a joint?
352
00:22:12,374 --> 00:22:14,626
Yeah, it's just what I need right now.
353
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:15,919
I can do better than that.
354
00:22:15,919 --> 00:22:17,004
Yeah?
355
00:22:20,757 --> 00:22:21,758
How much?
356
00:22:23,093 --> 00:22:25,137
They're usually 50 each.
357
00:22:25,137 --> 00:22:26,930
I could do 30.
358
00:22:29,057 --> 00:22:30,058
Four for a hundred.
359
00:22:30,976 --> 00:22:31,977
You're on.
360
00:22:32,769 --> 00:22:34,313
All right, you sinners.
361
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:38,233
Gangbang 49.
362
00:22:38,233 --> 00:22:39,568
Bingo!
363
00:22:41,528 --> 00:22:45,574
Honey, you don't have bingo.
You have a big fucking mouth though.
364
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,996
Someone didn't bring his hearing aids.
365
00:22:51,997 --> 00:22:54,124
Bestiality bingo 14.
366
00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:56,043
I didn't sign up for this.
367
00:22:56,752 --> 00:22:58,420
You have it.
368
00:23:00,547 --> 00:23:01,632
Look!
369
00:23:12,518 --> 00:23:15,687
And a blow job for one!
370
00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:32,329
Just a little humble boink 14.
371
00:23:32,329 --> 00:23:34,164
Nasty, evil 32!
372
00:23:34,164 --> 00:23:35,791
Bingo!
373
00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:37,835
Bingo!
374
00:23:51,306 --> 00:23:53,559
- You got Tammy's money or not?
- No!
375
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:57,688
No?
That's what you're calling to say to me?
376
00:23:57,688 --> 00:23:58,772
No!
377
00:23:58,772 --> 00:24:01,066
- No!
- Hey!
378
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:02,943
- No!
- I can say no, too!
379
00:24:03,527 --> 00:24:05,863
No calling without Tammy's money!
380
00:24:06,530 --> 00:24:07,823
No money, no calling.
381
00:24:07,823 --> 00:24:09,533
- Hey, no.
- Who's that?
382
00:24:09,533 --> 00:24:10,951
Help me! Help!
383
00:24:11,743 --> 00:24:13,912
- Oh, God!
- What else are you hiding?
384
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:20,043
No fucking wasting my time,
you quack-chiseling shyster.
385
00:24:20,544 --> 00:24:21,712
Oh, fuck.
386
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:31,513
Oh, shit.