1
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,058
No. Hey!
2
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,894
No!
3
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,612
I have a buyer!
I'm telling you, I have a fucking buyer!
4
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,615
Well, the luggage in the hallway
tells a different story.
5
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,033
Can I be honest?
6
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,286
- Please.
- Two things can be true.
7
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,622
I can want to disappear,
8
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,541
and I can have a buyer.
9
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:44,920
Here's what's true.
10
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,005
I lead a stressful life,
11
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,924
there's a lot of moving parts.
12
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:54,429
And La Pastorale, well,
it relieved some of that.
13
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,891
Those naked ladies
reclining in a field,
14
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:03,480
it brought me joy because
I was connected to a fucking genius.
15
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,940
Oh, yeah. No, I get that.
16
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,775
- Totally.
- Here's another truth:
17
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,528
I was connecting to a knockoff
18
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,447
painted by your wife in her crafts room.
19
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,700
You robbed him of joy, you fucker!
20
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,660
You humiliated me, Bob.
21
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,872
I showed that picture to people.
They're laughing at me now.
22
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,416
I am so sorry. And I am fixing it.
23
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,835
No! Not the nipple!
24
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,753
- No!
- Okay, hold on. Hold on.
25
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,298
- Where's this buyer?
- Florence.
26
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,466
- No, please! Don't take the--
- Heather, honey. Heather.
27
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,760
His name is Kachel.
James Kachel.
28
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,138
And how did you come to find Mr. Kachel?
29
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,308
I-- He's an associate of Peggy's.
30
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,392
Peggy?
31
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,061
Who's Peggy?
32
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:46,648
I'm late. I'm sorry, business.
33
00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,153
Well, he passed. So it's over.
34
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,864
He can't pass. We have a contract.
35
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,824
No, we don't.
36
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,702
Look, I was talking with your mother
about my play,
37
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,412
it all came about very naturally.
38
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,832
I just arranged this meeting
so that you would feel involved.
39
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,710
You talked to my mother?
40
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,425
Hey.
41
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,431
Is that a lady's finger?
42
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,100
Yeah, 'cause we're looking
for a missing lady.
43
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,812
We're also looking for 70K
in reward money, and this is it.
44
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:30,317
Okay. Don't point it at me.
Where did you get that?
45
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,735
Oh, Jesus. Peggy.
46
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,986
Judy chucked it up.
47
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,365
Well, Judy might wanna go see a doctor.
48
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,200
Judy's a dog.
49
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:43,080
So, that's a dead lady's finger
in dog vomit?
50
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,834
Fuck. This little mix of bone
and knuckle and fat--
51
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,169
Okay. Let's not describe it.
Just put it in there.
52
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,129
It's gonna change our fucking lives.
53
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,548
It better.
54
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:30,627
Turns out that I'm a natural.
And an academic.
55
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,088
I'm top of my class at PI school.
56
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,424
Really?
57
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:39,595
Well, Dirk says you're always late,
and by the end of class, you're slurring.
58
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:42,764
It's my Bell's palsy,
kicks in around noonish.
59
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,392
Look. See?
60
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,229
Hey. I'm on a date.
I can't talk right now.
61
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,107
And yes, we will be having sex,
so don't call again till tomorrow.
62
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,817
No, wait!
63
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:03,869
Anyway, the point is,
I got ya a contract at Pioneertown.
64
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:07,581
And I found the fucking finger
of Dona fucking Scarborough.
65
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,208
Okay. You're right.
66
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,960
But let's hold off on going to the cops
with the finger
67
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,796
because they'll grab credit or bungle it.
68
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,257
Our next move
is we're gonna get the finger tested
69
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,841
for DNA, you understand?
70
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,386
- How long does that take?
- Two, three days.
71
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,181
The tricky part is getting DNA
from the family,
72
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,558
but I know somebody at Ancestry, so...
73
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,605
Let's back up a minute here, okay?
Do you wanna thank me for any of this?
74
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,815
All right, look, I gotta say,
75
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,860
at the beginning
I really didn't expect much from you,
76
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:42,115
but the scope of this thing could put us
on the map. I mean, it's--
77
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,998
Is this a medical condition?
78
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:55,295
Okay. I'm being a friend right now.
It's a turnoff.
79
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,303
I can confirm it's her finger
in the morning.
80
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,263
How?
81
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:06,598
Don't worry about it.
I just need the nail.
82
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,725
And don't contaminate the finger.
83
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:15,941
I'm not separating the nail
from a dead, disgusting finger.
84
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,655
Where'd you get this?
85
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,449
I found it in my boyfriend's sheets.
86
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,994
I suspect there's a third person
in that bed.
87
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,911
Who's your boyfriend?
88
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,831
Let's just say he's a guru.
89
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,625
Who's my competition?
90
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,546
His wife. She was a regular.
91
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,173
He said she was out of the picture.
92
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,091
She is. She disappeared a year ago.
93
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,719
Were they in trouble?
94
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:48,223
She sat here for hours, no?
95
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,435
She must've told you
all kinds of weird shit.
96
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,271
I don't paint and tell.
97
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:58,400
Hey, I'm the victim here.
My boyfriend may be cheating.
98
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,779
I need to know if these bumps
on my leg are razor burns or scabies.
99
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:07,492
If he hasn't changed his sheets in a year, mama...
100
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,296
When bitches on Twitter say
I can't do makeup, I say,
101
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,841
"Then what's this art?"
Okay? All right.
102
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,384
So now we're gonna do the other eye,
103
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,053
- nice and-- Oh, God.
- Oh, no.
104
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,180
- Oh, no.
- Nick, what's-her-name's here!
105
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,890
- Oh, no.
- Two minutes.
106
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,934
Do you have a bathroom
I can use that won't kill me
107
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,143
or get me pregnant?
108
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,646
You can still get pregnant?
109
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,818
Gross.
110
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:59,920
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, hey, what's up?
111
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,464
Jimmy Hoffa's family just signed on
to the book.
112
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,382
Okay.
113
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,342
They're breaking their silence
after 50 years.
114
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,136
So now Random House wants
to publish for Christmas.
115
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,263
All right.
116
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,307
So the word on the street
is this will be a major stocking-stuffer,
117
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,769
which will lead to more TV appearances
and more money,
118
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,981
and most importantly,
get our loved ones back.
119
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:22,568
Unless they're dead,
which Hoffa definitely is.
120
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,611
So, what do you want from me?
121
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,030
I'm just sharing the good news
and handing out lollipops
122
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,324
to participating families.
123
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,410
Thank you.
124
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,537
We could talk about spa tie-ins
if you want.
125
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,706
We don't advertise. We're word of mouth.
126
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,957
Understood.
127
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,751
So you like edibles, huh?
128
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,504
What? No, no, I--
129
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,840
Sorry. Wrong one. So sorry. Here.
130
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,133
Oy vey.
131
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,552
I'll be back
when the contracts are ready.
132
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,889
Can I have one?
133
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,891
- Okay.
- Okay.
134
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,267
So, the finger's getting tested.
135
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,769
I have a guy who doesn't ask questions.
136
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,398
If someone gave me a finger,
I'd ask questions, but he doesn't, so...
137
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:05,152
Can you put those down?
Those are military grade.
138
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,946
Please. Peggy, can you put 'em down?
139
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:12,075
So he's backlogged,
which means it's gonna take a week.
140
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:16,163
No. Get a rush on it. Come on.
Can't we pay to get a rush?
141
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:20,751
The DNA on the lollipop is gonna match
what's left of the finger.
142
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,713
By the way, I think she died for her art.
143
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,758
- Whose art?
- Dona.
144
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,802
She painted stolen masterpieces.
Fabulous, by the way.
145
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,011
Dona Scarborough?
146
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,764
You didn't need to know until now,
147
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,975
but the guru sold a fake
to this father-daughter hit team,
148
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,270
and now Daddy and his bruiser
want their money back.
149
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,481
What bruiser?
150
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,441
Well, the daughter's like a linebacker.
151
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,403
Is the bald bird part of this?
152
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,155
In a way, yes.
153
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,492
Oh, my God.
154
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,910
I'm gonna lose my business.
155
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,036
Would you stop?
156
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,706
You're getting your business back.
Like, soon. Like, next week.
157
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,959
More like Friday if you order this rush.
158
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,046
Oh, for fuck's sakes.
159
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,890
It's me. Open the door.
160
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,226
We need a plan,
and I need a bathroom.
161
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,519
Think on that.
162
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,361
Yo! Guys, come on.
163
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,537
Come on.
164
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,581
The plan is habeas fucking corpus.
165
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,708
The corpus is being tested.
166
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,794
It was gonna take a week,
but I got a rush on it, 48 hours.
167
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,922
Okay, fine. We'll avoid the guru
till we got a positive ID,
168
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,800
then go straight to the Gattchis
and claim the reward.
169
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,386
It's gonna be a pain in the ass
avoiding this guy.
170
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,263
He calls me every second.
171
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,182
Hold on. Surveillance pictures.
172
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,979
Guilty.
173
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:07,816
Coop got some real cute shots.
And the kid's good with an iPhone, huh?
174
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,234
She may have a knack.
175
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:11,862
Okay. You're aces, thanks.
176
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:14,740
I gotta go. I love you.
177
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,661
High Desert Treatment Center.
178
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,204
Hi, is Mary there?
179
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,706
No, I think it's Mary's day off.
180
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,334
I'll be right there.
181
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,591
Good.
182
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:18,887
Is it in slo-mo?
183
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,265
- Make sure we're filming it in slo-mo.
- Yeah.
184
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,934
What the fuck is this?
What's he doing here?
185
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:24,935
He gave me a ride.
186
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,186
I'm actually a good guy.
187
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:28,772
What's up, Judy?
188
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,440
Get him outta here.
189
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,775
Peg, he's helping me
190
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:32,901
build my business.
191
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,572
I've got clientele already, okay?
And they're demanding content.
192
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,825
I've got an email list of men
who are looking for a safe place
193
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,827
to practice Qigong and shit.
194
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,579
What do you say?
195
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,123
- Is it cool if we use the dojo out back?
- No.
196
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,708
- Just to build a following.
- No.
197
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,668
- Maybe raise a little seed money.
- No.
198
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,420
- And crash there once in a while.
- No.
199
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,921
- I can't get an apartment.
- Nope.
200
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,631
Nobody allows dogs.
201
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:56,800
Okay, fine.
202
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,511
- That's great.
- But no Chunky.
203
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,180
And you're not allowed in the kitchen.
204
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,015
- Of course not.
- Or the bathroom.
205
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,099
Really?
206
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:09,062
Okay, yeah. There's a gas station
about ten minutes away. I can walk.
207
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,274
This is great, babe. I mean, Peg.
208
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,775
So generous.
209
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,528
Thanks, Peg!
210
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,296
Hi. Peggy Newman. What's your name?
211
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,006
Erin. I'm new. Bear with me.
212
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,966
Erin. I like that, that's Celtic.
213
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:42,930
Yeah, well, I get three milligrams
and I work my way up to a week take home.
214
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,307
We did the piss test last week.
215
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,809
That was a big step.
It's been a journey.
216
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,103
Oh, well, congratulations.
217
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,774
- Thanks.
- I don't see that in the system, so--
218
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,817
Oh, yeah. System always goes down.
219
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:59,279
- Hold up there.
- Mary. I thought it was your day off.
220
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,365
I'm doing a little paperwork.
221
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,243
You ready to take your urine test?
You're almost at your goal.
222
00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:05,327
Yeah.
223
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:06,578
Oh, shit. You know what?
224
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:09,206
I just ate a poppy seed bagel.
225
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,416
I ate five, actually.
226
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,835
I should've stopped at three
227
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,213
but since my mother died,
I've been using food.
228
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,215
I'm gonna get a false positive.
229
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:21,802
Peggy. We're not gonna deny you,
but we can't give you the week's supply.
230
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:22,803
God.
231
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:27,432
You gotta take, you know,
fucking monsoon season into account.
232
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,560
My fibromyalgia is going nuts.
233
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,354
It's Palm Springs.
There is no monsoon season.
234
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,022
Well, there's barometric pressure.
235
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,860
And there's pressure pressure.
I'm writing a play.
236
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,571
Plus, my new job,
it's really fucking dangerous.
237
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,447
Sorry.
238
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,867
Fuck it.
239
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,792
You seen Gill?
240
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,755
You seen Gill?
241
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,592
Gill got arrested.
242
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,053
Anyone taking over his business interests?
243
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,431
His business interests.
244
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,684
The pills. You know,
the ones that make you crabby as fuck
245
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,727
if you can't get them.
246
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,146
Fuck.
247
00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,982
I got some steaks if you want 'em.
248
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,526
No, I already got a deal with Jesse
over at Ruth's Chris.
249
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,947
How about that joint?
250
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:32,539
{\an8}I'm trying to get the door and the safe,
but it's not very secure.
251
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,917
- It's a little wobbly.
- Don't worry, it's fine.
252
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:38,962
Hello, Brenda.
253
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,258
I'm trying to be nice, Brenda.
254
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,302
- What did I do?
- How do you freshen it up?
255
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,804
A nod is not a hello.
It's a "fuck you" with your face.
256
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:53,018
- Is this about Roger?
- No, my worth isn't tied to a man.
257
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,354
I'm a private investigator now.
258
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:03,487
What are you doing?
259
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,448
I got a play to put on,
plus eight million other things.
260
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:09,284
That guru bastard keeps calling me
every five minutes.
261
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:15,290
My living situation is dicey,
plus I'm juggling, like, five suitors.
262
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,500
It never ends.
263
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,127
I meant what are you doing
with the K-Cups?
264
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,714
The coffee sucks, but I need the caffeine.
265
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,259
Yeah, well, I've been tasked
with stuff like this.
266
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:29,638
- Shit like disappearing K-Cups.
- Good. People abuse it.
267
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,015
The cheating spouse,
268
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,142
she's cheating with a girlfriend,
by the way.
269
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,895
You owe me 13.95.
I printed that at Staples.
270
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,480
I lost the receipt.
271
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,190
For fuck's sakes.
272
00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:44,027
Can't we get a super-express
on that finger?
273
00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,546
Peggy.
274
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,385
Looks like you got a lot
on that beautiful mind of yours.
275
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,637
You say the same thing to Brenda?
276
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,391
We mostly just talk
about Star Wars.
277
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,185
And owls.
278
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,646
It's your mind I want.
279
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,774
Not in a mind control-y kind of way.
280
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:27,321
Speaking of which,
how's your boyfriend, the guru?
281
00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:30,115
I'm not going out with the guru, Roger.
282
00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:34,661
Well, I hope you're happy, Peggy.
283
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,997
Happiness is a process. It's a practice.
284
00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,625
I'm on my path. That's all I'm gonna say.
285
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:41,043
What's with the heavy artillery?
286
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:44,838
What's with it?
This is what you promised my mother.
287
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,966
You told her something
about somebody being shot out of a cannon
288
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,426
for the President's Day Weekend show?
289
00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,596
First of all, your mother might not
understand metaphors.
290
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:56,350
I said my play would be shooting us
out of a cannon.
291
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,811
And number two, I don't think
we'll be opening this week...
292
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:02,231
No-- You will open by Friday.
293
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:05,608
- You will open by the 18th.
- What's with the 18th?
294
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,694
You're getting shot out
of this cannon, either way.
295
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,779
Not happening.
296
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:10,821
Wait a minute...
297
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:15,452
The 18th is your mother's birthday.
That's what this is all about, isn't it?
298
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,079
No, this is about
the President's Day Weekend show.
299
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:21,541
Which happens to coincide
with your mother's birthday.
300
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,670
No, it's about patriotism.
301
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:27,631
And stealing business
from car lot sales events.
302
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:33,303
The cannon, the fanfare, the glitz.
It's all about winning your mother's love.
303
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,347
You have to read Electra, Owen.
304
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,849
It doesn't end well.
305
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:40,394
A cannon is going off this weekend, Peggy!
And you are gonna be the cannonball.
306
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:43,355
There's no cannons in my play.
Plus, I have fibromyalgia.
307
00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:46,608
Well, it's a part of the play now!
308
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:50,279
Ginger and I already wrote the cannon
into the play!
309
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,822
I beg your fucking pardon.
310
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:57,703
"'Twas my brother, Rutherford,
my own blood, who taught me how to fight.
311
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,204
He was a saber--"
312
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:02,374
Oh, Owen came up with a Civil War story.
313
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,626
I think it's very strong. Listen to this.
314
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:09,256
So, Colonel Fanshawe turns to me
on the verandah and he says,
315
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:15,012
"Golly, Molly Perkins, I believe
the cannon is about to chime midnight."
316
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,514
It's rough.
317
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,933
Can I offer some constructive criticism?
318
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:21,894
I hate it.
319
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:26,106
That is not constructive,
and it's heavy on the criticism.
320
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,776
We open in two days.
Someone has to right this ship.
321
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,113
And I'll tell you this,
no one sits through two hours
322
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,532
of somebody working out
their mommy issues.
323
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,326
Tell that to William Shakespeare.
324
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:38,785
Tell it to Neil Simon.
325
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,248
And by the way,
I'm recasting you with a woman of color.
326
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,209
To play your mother?
327
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,002
It has to be more like "Hamilton."
328
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,547
This is just like you, to quit things.
329
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,008
Remember you quit the Girl Scouts
330
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,801
the week they had the cookie sale?
331
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:58,472
They had to buy back all your boxes.
You left them in the red.
332
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,642
Or the ice skating? You went once.
333
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:05,187
That tutu ended up right in the garbage.
334
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,317
You never cared that I quit things.
335
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:16,365
You said that the Girl Scouts was a racket
and a Ponzi scheme.
336
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,996
You were my best friend.
337
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:32,297
But you're not her.
338
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,802
You're the lady on the bus.
339
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,180
Take that bus home.
340
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:44,768
Because I changed the lines?
It was a pitch!
341
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,228
You know what a pitch is.
342
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,152
What do you want already?
343
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,738
Hey, it's me. It's Bob.
344
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,782
Seems like you're super busy.
345
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:02,202
I'm actually calling because
the hospital gave me a 60 count of Oxy.
346
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,497
And since it's clearly your thing,
I thought you might want them.
347
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,792
So, I'll just leave them
on my porch till tomorrow.
348
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:30,647
Okay, Brunhilda!
Can we take it down a notch?
349
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:35,194
I've got fibromyalgia!
I find violence very triggering.
350
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:39,239
Hey. Can't we just talk
without the bondage?
351
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,491
Heather, get in here.
You gotta try this.
352
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,493
Come and taste this saffron.
353
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,873
I just added a pinch.
I used almost no butter. Almost.
354
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,001
You are so full of shit!
355
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,921
I reverse Google-image-searched
that buyer you sent over.
356
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:56,298
He is a known criminal! So are you!
357
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,133
Of course, he's a criminal!
358
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,135
Who do you think buys stolen paintings?
359
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:01,261
Nuns?
360
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:04,389
And I did zero jail time
'cause that was his crime.
361
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,808
Well, there's still a hell of a lot
of criminality surrounding you.
362
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,394
I do not like it one bit.
363
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,398
You need me to acknowledge the knife?
364
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,816
Okay, I see your knife.
365
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,736
Hey, I'm not a good candidate.
I have hemophilia.
366
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,490
You don't have hemophilia.
367
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,450
Yeah, actually, I do.
368
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,787
Fibromyalgia, hemophilia.
I got a lot of problems.
369
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:27,871
Yeah, no shit.
370
00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:29,540
Really?
371
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:32,709
- Bobby here owes--
- Bob or Robert. It--
372
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,172
Or whatever. It's fine.
373
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,387
Bobsie here owes me a lot of money.
374
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:47,391
- And he says that you can help me get it.
- She can.
375
00:21:47,391 --> 00:21:49,977
- You can.
- How are you to find a buyer
376
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:53,021
for one of Bobsie here's fake paintings?
377
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:55,232
- I already have.
- She's already got one.
378
00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,402
How do you know anyone
that has over a million?
379
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:01,780
I used to work
for James Kachel in New York.
380
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:04,199
- He's a very big collector.
- Huge.
381
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,036
Well, big collectors know forgeries.
382
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:09,413
Well, some do, some don't.
383
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:13,876
Lesser works
have taken in better collectors.
384
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,711
Kachel sees a profit margin here.
385
00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:19,882
You think I'm a fucking philistine?
386
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,675
No, she does not.
387
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,555
No, I think you're Arman Landau.
A pretty decent collector.
388
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,641
You live in Rancho Mirage, 5537 Cabernet.
389
00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:37,608
Is this your parlor trick?
390
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:40,360
- You think you know me?
- No, I don't think I know you.
391
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,654
Okay, Heather is living with you for now,
392
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:45,324
which I get,
'cause I lived with my mom until the end.
393
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:46,408
Family is important.
394
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:47,993
But I think all this meshuggaas
395
00:22:47,993 --> 00:22:50,245
might be a violation of her parole.
396
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,748
How the fuck--
397
00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:55,626
This cop I broke up with,
he ran the plates.
398
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,211
Don't ask. Highway patrol.
399
00:22:57,211 --> 00:23:01,507
He also put a GPS tracking device
in my car 'cause he's kind of a stalker.
400
00:23:01,507 --> 00:23:04,635
So, this guy that you got--
This Kachel?
401
00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:08,222
He told you he wants to buy this painting?
402
00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,057
- He wants it.
- He wants it.
403
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,976
And he knows exactly what it is.
And I can get you the money.
404
00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:14,895
- She will.
- But if you stab me,
405
00:23:14,895 --> 00:23:18,398
or you cut my nipple off,
I don't see how that helps you.
406
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:22,528
It helps me.
407
00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:26,615
It's okay, honey. It's okay.
408
00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:30,702
You're lying.
409
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:34,623
No. I said there was competition.
He said he was gonna wire over a deposit.
410
00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,835
But I guess you'll never know.
So, A, you get no money,
411
00:23:37,835 --> 00:23:42,047
and two, Trooper Carl is about to do
a drive-by in about 20 minutes,
412
00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,550
judging from his past behavior.
413
00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,844
I don't know,
some girls find it flattering.
414
00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:49,012
We can find that GPS.
415
00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,223
Good. Because I can't.
416
00:23:51,223 --> 00:23:54,768
I don't know. It's a chip, like,
the size of an eyelash or something.
417
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:57,896
What kind of deposit?
418
00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:01,316
250K. Okay?
419
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,695
Two days. When he gets back from Florence.
420
00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:08,699
Very shitty Internet service.
Maybe three if he's running late.
421
00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:15,914
Hey, you think
I could get that bag that I came for?
422
00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:31,221
Hey.
423
00:24:32,264 --> 00:24:35,767
- That finger turn up anything?
- Nah, it's probably just another finger.
424
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:40,105
Of course it turned up something.
I'm not telling you, though.
425
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:45,068
{\an8}You're still marching around
in that thing? Who are you kidding?
426
00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:48,947
- I did a semester.
- You did three weeks of a summer session.
427
00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:51,408
Yeah, well, you know,
it's highly regarded.
428
00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:55,037
And it's good for my business
and it's good for my new clientele, okay?
429
00:24:58,498 --> 00:25:02,044
Can I get that catalog Bob sent
of Dona's artwork?
430
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:05,881
Hey, did you know
she did Monet's "Waterloo Bridge"?
431
00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:07,424
Do you believe that?
432
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:10,135
I looked it up. The ones in this series,
433
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:12,930
they're all pulling in,
like, eight figures.
434
00:25:12,930 --> 00:25:15,390
Look at that freaking fog he did.
435
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,435
Look at that freaking fog she did.
436
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:23,190
Anyway, this is the reason
we all need to meditate.
437
00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,235
Why do you want these?
438
00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:28,987
Is it for Kachel?
Don't tell me he's coming.
439
00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:31,281
What is this? A press conference?
440
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,283
Come on, get back to the decorating.
441
00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:38,205
{\an8}- That's my blanket.
- It's cold out here.
442
00:25:38,205 --> 00:25:40,040
{\an8}You're not supposed to go
in the house, Denny.
443
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,167
You're helping yourself to the linens now?
444
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:45,963
Judy was shaking like a leaf. Okay?
445
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,132
Okay. Later, Judy.
446
00:26:12,447 --> 00:26:16,159
- Well, look who it is.
- And look who that is.
447
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:19,288
Little Peggy Newman,
from Syosset, Long Island.
448
00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:21,331
What took you so long?
449
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,793
Did you see the collection?
450
00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:30,174
Look.
451
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,135
Holy shit.
452
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,471
Jimmy, we both know,
the real one's never coming back.
453
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,473
Why? As far as I'm concerned,
that is the real one.
454
00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:40,142
Okay, that is a good boy.
455
00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:42,561
- Easy. That's a good boy.
- Is that Ethan?
456
00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:46,648
Ethan?
457
00:26:51,153 --> 00:26:53,030
So he's got a man bun now?
458
00:26:53,906 --> 00:26:54,907
Yeah.
459
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,452
I have to negotiate this in person.
460
00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:02,497
Well, hurry the fuck up.
People are getting chippy.
461
00:27:02,497 --> 00:27:04,208
I'll send you my itinerary.
462
00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:06,710
- With only two yards--
- Wait.
463
00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,253
You got what?
464
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:12,549
Blonde lady. Yea high.
I did it custom for your sister.
465
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,885
So, when she says she found it
in her boyfriend's bed,
466
00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,137
I'm thinking, the fuck you talking about?
467
00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:18,096
Real fucking pale?
468
00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:25,062
- Sylvia Plath?
- I don't think that's her name.
469
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,816
- Fuck.
- Fuck, fuck, fuck.
470
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,028
- Fuck.
- Fucking occupied.
471
00:27:33,028 --> 00:27:36,156
- Get the fuck outta here.
- Right.
472
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:53,382
Leo?
473
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:01,181
Hey, listen.
474
00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:04,351
I want you to go find
this Sylvia fucking Plath,
475
00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:05,769
or don't come back.