1 00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,058 No. Hey! 2 00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,894 No! 3 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,612 I have a buyer! I'm telling you, I have a fucking buyer! 4 00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,615 Well, the luggage in the hallway tells a different story. 5 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,033 Can I be honest? 6 00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,286 - Please. - Two things can be true. 7 00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,622 I can want to disappear, 8 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,541 and I can have a buyer. 9 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:44,920 Here's what's true. 10 00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,005 I lead a stressful life, 11 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,924 there's a lot of moving parts. 12 00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:54,429 And La Pastorale, well, it relieved some of that. 13 00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,891 Those naked ladies reclining in a field, 14 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:03,480 it brought me joy because I was connected to a fucking genius. 15 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,940 Oh, yeah. No, I get that. 16 00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,775 - Totally. - Here's another truth: 17 00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,528 I was connecting to a knockoff 18 00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,447 painted by your wife in her crafts room. 19 00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,700 You robbed him of joy, you fucker! 20 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,660 You humiliated me, Bob. 21 00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,872 I showed that picture to people. They're laughing at me now. 22 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,416 I am so sorry. And I am fixing it. 23 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,835 No! Not the nipple! 24 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,753 - No! - Okay, hold on. Hold on. 25 00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,298 - Where's this buyer? - Florence. 26 00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,466 - No, please! Don't take the-- - Heather, honey. Heather. 27 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,760 His name is Kachel. James Kachel. 28 00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,138 And how did you come to find Mr. Kachel? 29 00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,308 I-- He's an associate of Peggy's. 30 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,392 Peggy? 31 00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,061 Who's Peggy? 32 00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:46,648 I'm late. I'm sorry, business. 33 00:01:49,193 --> 00:01:51,153 Well, he passed. So it's over. 34 00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,864 He can't pass. We have a contract. 35 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,824 No, we don't. 36 00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,702 Look, I was talking with your mother about my play, 37 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,412 it all came about very naturally. 38 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,832 I just arranged this meeting so that you would feel involved. 39 00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,710 You talked to my mother? 40 00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,425 Hey. 41 00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,431 Is that a lady's finger? 42 00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,100 Yeah, 'cause we're looking for a missing lady. 43 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,812 We're also looking for 70K in reward money, and this is it. 44 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:30,317 Okay. Don't point it at me. Where did you get that? 45 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,735 Oh, Jesus. Peggy. 46 00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,986 Judy chucked it up. 47 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,365 Well, Judy might wanna go see a doctor. 48 00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,200 Judy's a dog. 49 00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:43,080 So, that's a dead lady's finger in dog vomit? 50 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,834 Fuck. This little mix of bone and knuckle and fat-- 51 00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,169 Okay. Let's not describe it. Just put it in there. 52 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,129 It's gonna change our fucking lives. 53 00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,548 It better. 54 00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:30,627 Turns out that I'm a natural. And an academic. 55 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,088 I'm top of my class at PI school. 56 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,424 Really? 57 00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:39,595 Well, Dirk says you're always late, and by the end of class, you're slurring. 58 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:42,764 It's my Bell's palsy, kicks in around noonish. 59 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,392 Look. See? 60 00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,229 Hey. I'm on a date. I can't talk right now. 61 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,107 And yes, we will be having sex, so don't call again till tomorrow. 62 00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,817 No, wait! 63 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:03,869 Anyway, the point is, I got ya a contract at Pioneertown. 64 00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:07,581 And I found the fucking finger of Dona fucking Scarborough. 65 00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,208 Okay. You're right. 66 00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,960 But let's hold off on going to the cops with the finger 67 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,796 because they'll grab credit or bungle it. 68 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,257 Our next move is we're gonna get the finger tested 69 00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,841 for DNA, you understand? 70 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,386 - How long does that take? - Two, three days. 71 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,181 The tricky part is getting DNA from the family, 72 00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,558 but I know somebody at Ancestry, so... 73 00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,605 Let's back up a minute here, okay? Do you wanna thank me for any of this? 74 00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,815 All right, look, I gotta say, 75 00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,860 at the beginning I really didn't expect much from you, 76 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:42,115 but the scope of this thing could put us on the map. I mean, it's-- 77 00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,998 Is this a medical condition? 78 00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:55,295 Okay. I'm being a friend right now. It's a turnoff. 79 00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,303 I can confirm it's her finger in the morning. 80 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,263 How? 81 00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:06,598 Don't worry about it. I just need the nail. 82 00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,725 And don't contaminate the finger. 83 00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:15,941 I'm not separating the nail from a dead, disgusting finger. 84 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,655 Where'd you get this? 85 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,449 I found it in my boyfriend's sheets. 86 00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,994 I suspect there's a third person in that bed. 87 00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,911 Who's your boyfriend? 88 00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,831 Let's just say he's a guru. 89 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,625 Who's my competition? 90 00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,546 His wife. She was a regular. 91 00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,173 He said she was out of the picture. 92 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,091 She is. She disappeared a year ago. 93 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,719 Were they in trouble? 94 00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:48,223 She sat here for hours, no? 95 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,435 She must've told you all kinds of weird shit. 96 00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,271 I don't paint and tell. 97 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:58,400 Hey, I'm the victim here. My boyfriend may be cheating. 98 00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,779 I need to know if these bumps on my leg are razor burns or scabies. 99 00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:07,492 If he hasn't changed his sheets in a year, mama... 100 00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,296 When bitches on Twitter say I can't do makeup, I say, 101 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,841 "Then what's this art?" Okay? All right. 102 00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,384 So now we're gonna do the other eye, 103 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,053 - nice and-- Oh, God. - Oh, no. 104 00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,180 - Oh, no. - Nick, what's-her-name's here! 105 00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,890 - Oh, no. - Two minutes. 106 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,934 Do you have a bathroom I can use that won't kill me 107 00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,143 or get me pregnant? 108 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,646 You can still get pregnant? 109 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,818 Gross. 110 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:59,920 - Oh, yeah. - Oh, hey, what's up? 111 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,464 Jimmy Hoffa's family just signed on to the book. 112 00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,382 Okay. 113 00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,342 They're breaking their silence after 50 years. 114 00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,136 So now Random House wants to publish for Christmas. 115 00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,263 All right. 116 00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,307 So the word on the street is this will be a major stocking-stuffer, 117 00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,769 which will lead to more TV appearances and more money, 118 00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,981 and most importantly, get our loved ones back. 119 00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:22,568 Unless they're dead, which Hoffa definitely is. 120 00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,611 So, what do you want from me? 121 00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,030 I'm just sharing the good news and handing out lollipops 122 00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,324 to participating families. 123 00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,410 Thank you. 124 00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,537 We could talk about spa tie-ins if you want. 125 00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,706 We don't advertise. We're word of mouth. 126 00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,957 Understood. 127 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,751 So you like edibles, huh? 128 00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,504 What? No, no, I-- 129 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,840 Sorry. Wrong one. So sorry. Here. 130 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,133 Oy vey. 131 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,552 I'll be back when the contracts are ready. 132 00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,889 Can I have one? 133 00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,891 - Okay. - Okay. 134 00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,267 So, the finger's getting tested. 135 00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,769 I have a guy who doesn't ask questions. 136 00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,398 If someone gave me a finger, I'd ask questions, but he doesn't, so... 137 00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:05,152 Can you put those down? Those are military grade. 138 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,946 Please. Peggy, can you put 'em down? 139 00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:12,075 So he's backlogged, which means it's gonna take a week. 140 00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:16,163 No. Get a rush on it. Come on. Can't we pay to get a rush? 141 00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:20,751 The DNA on the lollipop is gonna match what's left of the finger. 142 00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,713 By the way, I think she died for her art. 143 00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,758 - Whose art? - Dona. 144 00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,802 She painted stolen masterpieces. Fabulous, by the way. 145 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,011 Dona Scarborough? 146 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,764 You didn't need to know until now, 147 00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,975 but the guru sold a fake to this father-daughter hit team, 148 00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,270 and now Daddy and his bruiser want their money back. 149 00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,481 What bruiser? 150 00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,441 Well, the daughter's like a linebacker. 151 00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,403 Is the bald bird part of this? 152 00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,155 In a way, yes. 153 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,492 Oh, my God. 154 00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,910 I'm gonna lose my business. 155 00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,036 Would you stop? 156 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,706 You're getting your business back. Like, soon. Like, next week. 157 00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,959 More like Friday if you order this rush. 158 00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,046 Oh, for fuck's sakes. 159 00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,890 It's me. Open the door. 160 00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,226 We need a plan, and I need a bathroom. 161 00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,519 Think on that. 162 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,361 Yo! Guys, come on. 163 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,537 Come on. 164 00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,581 The plan is habeas fucking corpus. 165 00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,708 The corpus is being tested. 166 00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,794 It was gonna take a week, but I got a rush on it, 48 hours. 167 00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,922 Okay, fine. We'll avoid the guru till we got a positive ID, 168 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,800 then go straight to the Gattchis and claim the reward. 169 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,386 It's gonna be a pain in the ass avoiding this guy. 170 00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,263 He calls me every second. 171 00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,182 Hold on. Surveillance pictures. 172 00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,979 Guilty. 173 00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:07,816 Coop got some real cute shots. And the kid's good with an iPhone, huh? 174 00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,234 She may have a knack. 175 00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:11,862 Okay. You're aces, thanks. 176 00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:14,740 I gotta go. I love you. 177 00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,661 High Desert Treatment Center. 178 00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,204 Hi, is Mary there? 179 00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,706 No, I think it's Mary's day off. 180 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,334 I'll be right there. 181 00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,591 Good. 182 00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:18,887 Is it in slo-mo? 183 00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,265 - Make sure we're filming it in slo-mo. - Yeah. 184 00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,934 What the fuck is this? What's he doing here? 185 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:24,935 He gave me a ride. 186 00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,186 I'm actually a good guy. 187 00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:28,772 What's up, Judy? 188 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,440 Get him outta here. 189 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,775 Peg, he's helping me 190 00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:32,901 build my business. 191 00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,572 I've got clientele already, okay? And they're demanding content. 192 00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,825 I've got an email list of men who are looking for a safe place 193 00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,827 to practice Qigong and shit. 194 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,579 What do you say? 195 00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,123 - Is it cool if we use the dojo out back? - No. 196 00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,708 - Just to build a following. - No. 197 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,668 - Maybe raise a little seed money. - No. 198 00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,420 - And crash there once in a while. - No. 199 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,921 - I can't get an apartment. - Nope. 200 00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,631 Nobody allows dogs. 201 00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:56,800 Okay, fine. 202 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,511 - That's great. - But no Chunky. 203 00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,180 And you're not allowed in the kitchen. 204 00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,015 - Of course not. - Or the bathroom. 205 00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,099 Really? 206 00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:09,062 Okay, yeah. There's a gas station about ten minutes away. I can walk. 207 00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,274 This is great, babe. I mean, Peg. 208 00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,775 So generous. 209 00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,528 Thanks, Peg! 210 00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,296 Hi. Peggy Newman. What's your name? 211 00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,006 Erin. I'm new. Bear with me. 212 00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,966 Erin. I like that, that's Celtic. 213 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:42,930 Yeah, well, I get three milligrams and I work my way up to a week take home. 214 00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,307 We did the piss test last week. 215 00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,809 That was a big step. It's been a journey. 216 00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,103 Oh, well, congratulations. 217 00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,774 - Thanks. - I don't see that in the system, so-- 218 00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,817 Oh, yeah. System always goes down. 219 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:59,279 - Hold up there. - Mary. I thought it was your day off. 220 00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,365 I'm doing a little paperwork. 221 00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,243 You ready to take your urine test? You're almost at your goal. 222 00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:05,327 Yeah. 223 00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:06,578 Oh, shit. You know what? 224 00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:09,206 I just ate a poppy seed bagel. 225 00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,416 I ate five, actually. 226 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,835 I should've stopped at three 227 00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,213 but since my mother died, I've been using food. 228 00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,215 I'm gonna get a false positive. 229 00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:21,802 Peggy. We're not gonna deny you, but we can't give you the week's supply. 230 00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:22,803 God. 231 00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:27,432 You gotta take, you know, fucking monsoon season into account. 232 00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,560 My fibromyalgia is going nuts. 233 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,354 It's Palm Springs. There is no monsoon season. 234 00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,022 Well, there's barometric pressure. 235 00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,860 And there's pressure pressure. I'm writing a play. 236 00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,571 Plus, my new job, it's really fucking dangerous. 237 00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,447 Sorry. 238 00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,867 Fuck it. 239 00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,792 You seen Gill? 240 00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,755 You seen Gill? 241 00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,592 Gill got arrested. 242 00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,053 Anyone taking over his business interests? 243 00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,431 His business interests. 244 00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,684 The pills. You know, the ones that make you crabby as fuck 245 00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,727 if you can't get them. 246 00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,146 Fuck. 247 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:16,982 I got some steaks if you want 'em. 248 00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,526 No, I already got a deal with Jesse over at Ruth's Chris. 249 00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,947 How about that joint? 250 00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:32,539 {\an8}I'm trying to get the door and the safe, but it's not very secure. 251 00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,917 - It's a little wobbly. - Don't worry, it's fine. 252 00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:38,962 Hello, Brenda. 253 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,258 I'm trying to be nice, Brenda. 254 00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,302 - What did I do? - How do you freshen it up? 255 00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,804 A nod is not a hello. It's a "fuck you" with your face. 256 00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:53,018 - Is this about Roger? - No, my worth isn't tied to a man. 257 00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,354 I'm a private investigator now. 258 00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:03,487 What are you doing? 259 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,448 I got a play to put on, plus eight million other things. 260 00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:09,284 That guru bastard keeps calling me every five minutes. 261 00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:15,290 My living situation is dicey, plus I'm juggling, like, five suitors. 262 00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,500 It never ends. 263 00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,127 I meant what are you doing with the K-Cups? 264 00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,714 The coffee sucks, but I need the caffeine. 265 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,259 Yeah, well, I've been tasked with stuff like this. 266 00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:29,638 - Shit like disappearing K-Cups. - Good. People abuse it. 267 00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,015 The cheating spouse, 268 00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,142 she's cheating with a girlfriend, by the way. 269 00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,895 You owe me 13.95. I printed that at Staples. 270 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,480 I lost the receipt. 271 00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,190 For fuck's sakes. 272 00:15:40,983 --> 00:15:44,027 Can't we get a super-express on that finger? 273 00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,546 Peggy. 274 00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,385 Looks like you got a lot on that beautiful mind of yours. 275 00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,637 You say the same thing to Brenda? 276 00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,391 We mostly just talk about Star Wars. 277 00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,185 And owls. 278 00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,646 It's your mind I want. 279 00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,774 Not in a mind control-y kind of way. 280 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:27,321 Speaking of which, how's your boyfriend, the guru? 281 00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:30,115 I'm not going out with the guru, Roger. 282 00:16:32,201 --> 00:16:34,661 Well, I hope you're happy, Peggy. 283 00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,997 Happiness is a process. It's a practice. 284 00:16:36,997 --> 00:16:39,625 I'm on my path. That's all I'm gonna say. 285 00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:41,043 What's with the heavy artillery? 286 00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:44,838 What's with it? This is what you promised my mother. 287 00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,966 You told her something about somebody being shot out of a cannon 288 00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,426 for the President's Day Weekend show? 289 00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,596 First of all, your mother might not understand metaphors. 290 00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:56,350 I said my play would be shooting us out of a cannon. 291 00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,811 And number two, I don't think we'll be opening this week... 292 00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:02,231 No-- You will open by Friday. 293 00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:05,608 - You will open by the 18th. - What's with the 18th? 294 00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,694 You're getting shot out of this cannon, either way. 295 00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,779 Not happening. 296 00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:10,821 Wait a minute... 297 00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:15,452 The 18th is your mother's birthday. That's what this is all about, isn't it? 298 00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,079 No, this is about the President's Day Weekend show. 299 00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:21,541 Which happens to coincide with your mother's birthday. 300 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,670 No, it's about patriotism. 301 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:27,631 And stealing business from car lot sales events. 302 00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:33,303 The cannon, the fanfare, the glitz. It's all about winning your mother's love. 303 00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,347 You have to read Electra, Owen. 304 00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,849 It doesn't end well. 305 00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:40,394 A cannon is going off this weekend, Peggy! And you are gonna be the cannonball. 306 00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:43,355 There's no cannons in my play. Plus, I have fibromyalgia. 307 00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:46,608 Well, it's a part of the play now! 308 00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:50,279 Ginger and I already wrote the cannon into the play! 309 00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,822 I beg your fucking pardon. 310 00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:57,703 "'Twas my brother, Rutherford, my own blood, who taught me how to fight. 311 00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,204 He was a saber--" 312 00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:02,374 Oh, Owen came up with a Civil War story. 313 00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,626 I think it's very strong. Listen to this. 314 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:09,256 So, Colonel Fanshawe turns to me on the verandah and he says, 315 00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:15,012 "Golly, Molly Perkins, I believe the cannon is about to chime midnight." 316 00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,514 It's rough. 317 00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,933 Can I offer some constructive criticism? 318 00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:21,894 I hate it. 319 00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:26,106 That is not constructive, and it's heavy on the criticism. 320 00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,776 We open in two days. Someone has to right this ship. 321 00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,113 And I'll tell you this, no one sits through two hours 322 00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,532 of somebody working out their mommy issues. 323 00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,326 Tell that to William Shakespeare. 324 00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:38,785 Tell it to Neil Simon. 325 00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,248 And by the way, I'm recasting you with a woman of color. 326 00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,209 To play your mother? 327 00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,002 It has to be more like "Hamilton." 328 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,547 This is just like you, to quit things. 329 00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,008 Remember you quit the Girl Scouts 330 00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,801 the week they had the cookie sale? 331 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:58,472 They had to buy back all your boxes. You left them in the red. 332 00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,642 Or the ice skating? You went once. 333 00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:05,187 That tutu ended up right in the garbage. 334 00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,317 You never cared that I quit things. 335 00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:16,365 You said that the Girl Scouts was a racket and a Ponzi scheme. 336 00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,996 You were my best friend. 337 00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:32,297 But you're not her. 338 00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,802 You're the lady on the bus. 339 00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,180 Take that bus home. 340 00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:44,768 Because I changed the lines? It was a pitch! 341 00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,228 You know what a pitch is. 342 00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,152 What do you want already? 343 00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,738 Hey, it's me. It's Bob. 344 00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,782 Seems like you're super busy. 345 00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:02,202 I'm actually calling because the hospital gave me a 60 count of Oxy. 346 00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,497 And since it's clearly your thing, I thought you might want them. 347 00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,792 So, I'll just leave them on my porch till tomorrow. 348 00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:30,647 Okay, Brunhilda! Can we take it down a notch? 349 00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:35,194 I've got fibromyalgia! I find violence very triggering. 350 00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:39,239 Hey. Can't we just talk without the bondage? 351 00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,491 Heather, get in here. You gotta try this. 352 00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,493 Come and taste this saffron. 353 00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,873 I just added a pinch. I used almost no butter. Almost. 354 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,001 You are so full of shit! 355 00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,921 I reverse Google-image-searched that buyer you sent over. 356 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:56,298 He is a known criminal! So are you! 357 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,133 Of course, he's a criminal! 358 00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,135 Who do you think buys stolen paintings? 359 00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:01,261 Nuns? 360 00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:04,389 And I did zero jail time 'cause that was his crime. 361 00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,808 Well, there's still a hell of a lot of criminality surrounding you. 362 00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,394 I do not like it one bit. 363 00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,398 You need me to acknowledge the knife? 364 00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,816 Okay, I see your knife. 365 00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,736 Hey, I'm not a good candidate. I have hemophilia. 366 00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,490 You don't have hemophilia. 367 00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,450 Yeah, actually, I do. 368 00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,787 Fibromyalgia, hemophilia. I got a lot of problems. 369 00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:27,871 Yeah, no shit. 370 00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:29,540 Really? 371 00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:32,709 - Bobby here owes-- - Bob or Robert. It-- 372 00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,172 Or whatever. It's fine. 373 00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,387 Bobsie here owes me a lot of money. 374 00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:47,391 - And he says that you can help me get it. - She can. 375 00:21:47,391 --> 00:21:49,977 - You can. - How are you to find a buyer 376 00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:53,021 for one of Bobsie here's fake paintings? 377 00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:55,232 - I already have. - She's already got one. 378 00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,402 How do you know anyone that has over a million? 379 00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:01,780 I used to work for James Kachel in New York. 380 00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:04,199 - He's a very big collector. - Huge. 381 00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,036 Well, big collectors know forgeries. 382 00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:09,413 Well, some do, some don't. 383 00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:13,876 Lesser works have taken in better collectors. 384 00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,711 Kachel sees a profit margin here. 385 00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:19,882 You think I'm a fucking philistine? 386 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,675 No, she does not. 387 00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,555 No, I think you're Arman Landau. A pretty decent collector. 388 00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,641 You live in Rancho Mirage, 5537 Cabernet. 389 00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:37,608 Is this your parlor trick? 390 00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:40,360 - You think you know me? - No, I don't think I know you. 391 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,654 Okay, Heather is living with you for now, 392 00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:45,324 which I get, 'cause I lived with my mom until the end. 393 00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:46,408 Family is important. 394 00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:47,993 But I think all this meshuggaas 395 00:22:47,993 --> 00:22:50,245 might be a violation of her parole. 396 00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,748 How the fuck-- 397 00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:55,626 This cop I broke up with, he ran the plates. 398 00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,211 Don't ask. Highway patrol. 399 00:22:57,211 --> 00:23:01,507 He also put a GPS tracking device in my car 'cause he's kind of a stalker. 400 00:23:01,507 --> 00:23:04,635 So, this guy that you got-- This Kachel? 401 00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:08,222 He told you he wants to buy this painting? 402 00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,057 - He wants it. - He wants it. 403 00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,976 And he knows exactly what it is. And I can get you the money. 404 00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:14,895 - She will. - But if you stab me, 405 00:23:14,895 --> 00:23:18,398 or you cut my nipple off, I don't see how that helps you. 406 00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:22,528 It helps me. 407 00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:26,615 It's okay, honey. It's okay. 408 00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:30,702 You're lying. 409 00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:34,623 No. I said there was competition. He said he was gonna wire over a deposit. 410 00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,835 But I guess you'll never know. So, A, you get no money, 411 00:23:37,835 --> 00:23:42,047 and two, Trooper Carl is about to do a drive-by in about 20 minutes, 412 00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,550 judging from his past behavior. 413 00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,844 I don't know, some girls find it flattering. 414 00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:49,012 We can find that GPS. 415 00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,223 Good. Because I can't. 416 00:23:51,223 --> 00:23:54,768 I don't know. It's a chip, like, the size of an eyelash or something. 417 00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:57,896 What kind of deposit? 418 00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:01,316 250K. Okay? 419 00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,695 Two days. When he gets back from Florence. 420 00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:08,699 Very shitty Internet service. Maybe three if he's running late. 421 00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:15,914 Hey, you think I could get that bag that I came for? 422 00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:31,221 Hey. 423 00:24:32,264 --> 00:24:35,767 - That finger turn up anything? - Nah, it's probably just another finger. 424 00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:40,105 Of course it turned up something. I'm not telling you, though. 425 00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:45,068 {\an8}You're still marching around in that thing? Who are you kidding? 426 00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:48,947 - I did a semester. - You did three weeks of a summer session. 427 00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:51,408 Yeah, well, you know, it's highly regarded. 428 00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:55,037 And it's good for my business and it's good for my new clientele, okay? 429 00:24:58,498 --> 00:25:02,044 Can I get that catalog Bob sent of Dona's artwork? 430 00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:05,881 Hey, did you know she did Monet's "Waterloo Bridge"? 431 00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:07,424 Do you believe that? 432 00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:10,135 I looked it up. The ones in this series, 433 00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:12,930 they're all pulling in, like, eight figures. 434 00:25:12,930 --> 00:25:15,390 Look at that freaking fog he did. 435 00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,435 Look at that freaking fog she did. 436 00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:23,190 Anyway, this is the reason we all need to meditate. 437 00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,235 Why do you want these? 438 00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:28,987 Is it for Kachel? Don't tell me he's coming. 439 00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:31,281 What is this? A press conference? 440 00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,283 Come on, get back to the decorating. 441 00:25:35,369 --> 00:25:38,205 {\an8}- That's my blanket. - It's cold out here. 442 00:25:38,205 --> 00:25:40,040 {\an8}You're not supposed to go in the house, Denny. 443 00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,167 You're helping yourself to the linens now? 444 00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:45,963 Judy was shaking like a leaf. Okay? 445 00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,132 Okay. Later, Judy. 446 00:26:12,447 --> 00:26:16,159 - Well, look who it is. - And look who that is. 447 00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:19,288 Little Peggy Newman, from Syosset, Long Island. 448 00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:21,331 What took you so long? 449 00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,793 Did you see the collection? 450 00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:30,174 Look. 451 00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,135 Holy shit. 452 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,471 Jimmy, we both know, the real one's never coming back. 453 00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,473 Why? As far as I'm concerned, that is the real one. 454 00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:40,142 Okay, that is a good boy. 455 00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:42,561 - Easy. That's a good boy. - Is that Ethan? 456 00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:46,648 Ethan? 457 00:26:51,153 --> 00:26:53,030 So he's got a man bun now? 458 00:26:53,906 --> 00:26:54,907 Yeah. 459 00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,452 I have to negotiate this in person. 460 00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:02,497 Well, hurry the fuck up. People are getting chippy. 461 00:27:02,497 --> 00:27:04,208 I'll send you my itinerary. 462 00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:06,710 - With only two yards-- - Wait. 463 00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,253 You got what? 464 00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:12,549 Blonde lady. Yea high. I did it custom for your sister. 465 00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,885 So, when she says she found it in her boyfriend's bed, 466 00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,137 I'm thinking, the fuck you talking about? 467 00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:18,096 Real fucking pale? 468 00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:25,062 - Sylvia Plath? - I don't think that's her name. 469 00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,816 - Fuck. - Fuck, fuck, fuck. 470 00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,028 - Fuck. - Fucking occupied. 471 00:27:33,028 --> 00:27:36,156 - Get the fuck outta here. - Right. 472 00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:53,382 Leo? 473 00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:01,181 Hey, listen. 474 00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:04,351 I want you to go find this Sylvia fucking Plath, 475 00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:05,769 or don't come back.