1
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:16,058
不...嘿

2
00:00:17,601 --> 00:00:18,894
不...

3
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:28,612
我有個買家,我跟你們說
我真的有他媽的買家

4
00:00:28,612 --> 00:00:31,615
走廊上的行李看起來並非如此

5
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,033
我可以老實說嗎?

6
00:00:33,617 --> 00:00:36,286
-請說
-兩件事可以同時成立

7
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:38,622
我可以想要人間蒸發

8
00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:40,541
也可以找到買家

9
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:44,920
我跟你說句老實話

10
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:47,005
我的生活壓力很大

11
00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:48,924
有很多變數

12
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:54,429
而《田園交響曲》釋放了一些壓力

13
00:00:55,514 --> 00:00:57,891
那些裸女斜躺在田野

14
00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:03,480
那讓我心情愉悅
因為我和一個大天才有連結

15
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,940
對,不,我懂

16
00:01:04,940 --> 00:01:06,775
-完全懂
-還有另一個事實

17
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,528
我連結到的是一幅贗品

18
00:01:09,528 --> 00:01:12,447
是你老婆在畫室裡面繪製的

19
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:14,700
你剝奪了他的快樂,王八蛋

20
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,660
巴伯,你讓我丟盡面子

21
00:01:16,660 --> 00:01:19,872
我給大家看那幅畫,他們現在都在笑我

22
00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:22,416
真的很對不起,我在彌補了

23
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,835
不,別割我的奶頭

24
00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,753
-不...
-好,等等,等...一下

25
00:01:26,753 --> 00:01:29,298
-買家在哪?
-佛羅倫斯

26
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:31,466
-不,拜託,不要割...
-海瑟...親愛的

27
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,760
他姓凱切爾,詹姆斯凱切爾

28
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:36,138
你怎麼找到凱切爾先生的?

29
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:39,308
我...他是佩姬認識的人

30
00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:40,392
佩姬?

31
00:01:41,852 --> 00:01:43,061
佩姬是誰?

32
00:01:43,854 --> 00:01:46,648
我遲到了,抱歉,我有事

33
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,109
{\an8}(混帳格魯大師來電)

34
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,153
反正他不要,所以結束了

35
00:01:51,153 --> 00:01:53,864
他不能說不要,我們有合約耶

36
00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:55,824
不,我們沒有

37
00:01:55,824 --> 00:01:58,702
聽著,我之前在跟你媽說我的舞台劇

38
00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,412
我們順勢談妥了這件事

39
00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:03,832
我安排這場會面是為了讓你有參與感

40
00:02:05,626 --> 00:02:06,710
妳跟我媽談過了?

41
00:02:12,424 --> 00:02:13,425
嘿

42
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:19,431
那是女人的手指嗎?

43
00:02:19,431 --> 00:02:22,100
對,因為我們在找一位失蹤女子

44
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,812
我們還鎖定七萬美元的懸賞金
而這就是線索

45
00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:30,317
好,別用它指著我,妳從哪拿到的?

46
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,735
天啊,佩姬

47
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:32,986
茱蒂吐出來的

48
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,365
茱蒂可能得去看個醫生

49
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:38,200
茱蒂是一隻狗

50
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:43,080
所以那根女人的手指
是在狗的嘔吐物裡找到的嗎?

51
00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:46,834
媽的,這坨骨頭和關節與脂肪的混合物...

52
00:02:46,834 --> 00:02:49,169
好,不要描述,放進去就是了

53
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,129
這會改變我們天殺的人生

54
00:02:51,129 --> 00:02:52,548
希望如此

55
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,424
《荒漠妙探》

56
00:03:26,415 --> 00:03:30,627
原來我是天生好手,成績也很好

57
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,088
我在私家偵探學校是班上第一名

58
00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:35,424
真的嗎?

59
00:03:35,424 --> 00:03:39,595
德克說妳老是遲到
而且快下課時都在胡言亂語

60
00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:42,764
因為我的貝爾氏麻痺症會在中午時分發作

61
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,392
你看到沒?

62
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,229
嘿,我在約會,現在無法講話

63
00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:52,107
而且沒錯,我們會上床
所以明天之前別打來

64
00:03:52,107 --> 00:03:53,817
不...等等

65
00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:03,869
總之,重點是我可以替你
搞定拓荒鎮的合約

66
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:07,581
而且我找到唐娜史卡布羅天殺的手指

67
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,208
好,妳說得對

68
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:11,960
但我們先別把手指拿去給警察

69
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,796
因為他們會搶走功勞或把事情搞砸

70
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:17,257
我們的下一步是檢驗這根手指

71
00:04:17,257 --> 00:04:18,841
上面的DNA,懂嗎?

72
00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:21,386
-要花多久時間?
-兩、三天

73
00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:24,181
難的是取得家屬的DNA

74
00:04:24,181 --> 00:04:26,558
但我認識尋根公司的一個人,所以...

75
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:31,605
我們先等等,好嗎?你有想要感謝我嗎?

76
00:04:32,356 --> 00:04:33,815
好,聽著,我得說

77
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:36,860
起先我對妳沒什麼期待

78
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:42,115
但這件事有夠大條
我們可能會出名,我是說...

79
00:04:48,580 --> 00:04:49,998
你需要送醫嗎?

80
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:55,295
好,我身為朋友要說句話
你這樣真的很解嗨

81
00:05:00,843 --> 00:05:03,303
我明天早上就可以確定這是她的手指

82
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,263
怎麼確定?

83
00:05:04,263 --> 00:05:06,598
你別擔心,我只需要那片指甲

84
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:08,725
別弄髒那根手指

85
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:15,941
我才不要從一根死翹翹的噁心手指上
拔下它的指甲

86
00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,655
妳在哪拿到這個的?

87
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,449
我在我男友的床單上找到的

88
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,994
我懷疑我們之間有第三者

89
00:05:26,994 --> 00:05:27,911
妳男友是誰?

90
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:30,831
就說他是個格魯大師吧

91
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,625
我的對手是誰?

92
00:05:35,085 --> 00:05:37,546
他老婆,她以前是常客

93
00:05:37,546 --> 00:05:39,173
他說她已經不在了

94
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,091
的確是,她一年前失蹤了

95
00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:43,719
他們遇上麻煩嗎?

96
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:48,223
她當時在這裡坐了幾小時吧?

97
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,435
她肯定跟妳說過各種詭異的事

98
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,271
我不會洩露客戶隱私

99
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:58,400
嘿,我是受害者,我男友可能在亂搞

100
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:02,779
我得知道我腿上的疹子是刮毛引起
還是長疥瘡

101
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:07,492
老姊,如果他一年沒換床單...

102
00:06:13,207 --> 00:06:15,459
(絕讚古銅色)

103
00:06:16,627 --> 00:06:19,296
推特上的蠢女人說我不會化妝,而我說

104
00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,841
“不然這藝術作品是什麼?”懂吧?好

105
00:06:22,841 --> 00:06:24,384
現在我們要畫另一眼

106
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,053
-順順地...天啊
-不

107
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:28,180
-不
-尼克,問你妹名字的人來了

108
00:06:28,180 --> 00:06:29,890
-不
-兩分鐘

109
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,934
這裡有沒有一間廁所是我不會死在裡面

110
00:06:31,934 --> 00:06:33,143
或讓我懷孕的?

111
00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,646
妳還能懷孕嗎?

112
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,818
好噁

113
00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:56,708
(禁止進入)

114
00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:59,920
-好耶
-嘿,什麼事?

115
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,464
吉米霍法的家人剛簽了這本書

116
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,382
好

117
00:07:03,382 --> 00:07:05,342
他們在50年後終於打破沉默

118
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:08,136
現在藍燈書屋想在聖誕節出版

119
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:09,263
好

120
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,307
所以大家都說這會是熱門聖誕禮物

121
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:15,769
這表示在電視上有更多曝光度
也能賺進更多錢

122
00:07:15,769 --> 00:07:18,981
而最重要的是把我們所愛的人找回來

123
00:07:18,981 --> 00:07:22,568
除非他們死了,像霍法肯定就死透了

124
00:07:23,277 --> 00:07:24,611
那妳想要我怎麼做?

125
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:27,030
我只是來分享好消息與遞送棒棒糖

126
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:29,324
給參與的家庭

127
00:07:30,409 --> 00:07:31,410
謝謝

128
00:07:31,410 --> 00:07:33,537
如果你願意,我們可以聊聊聯名水療的事

129
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:35,706
我們不打廣告,都是口耳相傳

130
00:07:35,706 --> 00:07:36,957
懂了

131
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,751
你喜歡大麻棒棒糖吧?

132
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:42,504
什麼? 不...我...

133
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:44,840
抱歉,拿錯支了,真抱歉,來

134
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,133
爽啦

135
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:48,552
我準備好合約後再回來

136
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:51,889
可以給我一根嗎?

137
00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:53,891
-好吧
-好

138
00:07:53,891 --> 00:07:55,267
那根手指送驗了

139
00:07:55,267 --> 00:07:57,769
我認識一個人,他不會亂問

140
00:07:57,769 --> 00:08:01,398
如果有人給我一根手指
我會問問題,但他不會,所以...

141
00:08:02,191 --> 00:08:05,152
妳可以放下那個嗎?那是軍規望遠鏡

142
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,946
拜託,佩姬,妳可以放下嗎?

143
00:08:08,864 --> 00:08:12,075
他現在手上工作很多,所以得等一個禮拜

144
00:08:12,075 --> 00:08:16,163
不,叫他當成急件處理,拜託
我們不能付錢申請急件嗎?

145
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:20,751
這根棒棒糖上的DNA
會與那根手指的殘骸相符

146
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:24,713
對了,我認為她是為了自己的作品而死

147
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:27,758
-誰的作品?
-唐娜

148
00:08:27,758 --> 00:08:30,802
她繪製遭竊的大師作品,而且畫得超精美

149
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,011
唐娜史卡布羅?

150
00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,764
你之前不必知道

151
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:36,975
但那位格魯大師賣出一幅假畫
給一對父女殺手檔

152
00:08:36,975 --> 00:08:40,270
現在那個爸爸和他的打手想把錢要回來

153
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:42,481
什麼打手?

154
00:08:42,481 --> 00:08:44,441
那個女兒的身材活像橄欖球中後衛

155
00:08:45,526 --> 00:08:48,403
那隻禿毛鳥和這件事有關嗎?

156
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,155
某種程度上是的

157
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,492
天啊

158
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,910
我的生意要關門大吉了

159
00:08:54,910 --> 00:08:56,036
你可以別這樣嗎?

160
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:59,706
你的生意會起死回生
很快,差不多下週吧

161
00:08:59,706 --> 00:09:01,959
如果你申請急件,大概週五就行

162
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:06,046
真是夠了

163
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,214
(混帳格魯大師來電)

164
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:16,890
是我,開門

165
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,226
我們需要一個計畫,而我需要浴室

166
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:20,519
想想看吧

167
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,361
唷,妳們快點

168
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,537
快點

169
00:09:38,537 --> 00:09:40,581
計畫就是需要天殺的人身保護令

170
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,708
那個屍塊已經送驗了

171
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,794
原本要等一週
但是我申請急件了,只要48小時

172
00:09:45,794 --> 00:09:48,922
好,我們就躲著那個格魯大師
直到取得確切身分

173
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,800
然後直接去找加契一家領懸賞金

174
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:54,386
那傢伙很難躲得開

175
00:09:54,386 --> 00:09:56,263
他一直打給我

176
00:09:56,263 --> 00:09:58,182
等等,監視照片

177
00:10:02,561 --> 00:10:03,979
逮到了

178
00:10:03,979 --> 00:10:07,816
小庫拍了幾張很好看的照片
而且小孩很會用iPhone,對吧?

179
00:10:07,816 --> 00:10:09,234
她可能有天分

180
00:10:09,902 --> 00:10:11,862
好,妳超強的,謝謝

181
00:10:12,571 --> 00:10:14,740
我要走了,我愛妳

182
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,028
(驗尿)

183
00:10:58,784 --> 00:11:00,661
高地沙漠戒癮中心

184
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:02,204
嗨,瑪麗在嗎?

185
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:04,706
不在,我想今天瑪麗休假

186
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,334
我馬上過去

187
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,591
很好

188
00:11:17,845 --> 00:11:18,887
用慢動作拍的嗎?

189
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:21,265
-一定要用慢動作拍
-對

190
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,934
這什麼鬼?他在這裡幹嘛?

191
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:24,935
他載我一程

192
00:11:24,935 --> 00:11:26,186
其實我是好人

193
00:11:27,563 --> 00:11:28,772
茱蒂,幹嘛?

194
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,440
叫他走開

195
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,775
小佩,他在幫我

196
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:32,901
打造我的生意

197
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:36,572
我已經有顧客群了,好嗎?
他們要我提供內容

198
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,825
我有一份電子郵件清單
那些男人在找一個安全處所

199
00:11:39,825 --> 00:11:41,827
練習氣功什麼的

200
00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:43,579
妳意下如何?

201
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:46,123
-我們可以用後面的道場嗎?
-不准

202
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:47,708
-招攬一些追隨者
-不准

203
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,668
-或許籌一些創業基金
-不准

204
00:11:49,668 --> 00:11:51,420
-偶爾在那邊睡一晚
-不准

205
00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:52,921
-我租不到公寓
-不准

206
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,631
大家都不租給有狗的租客

207
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:56,800
好啦,可以

208
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,511
-太好了
-但大個不准來

209
00:11:59,511 --> 00:12:01,180
你也不能進廚房

210
00:12:01,180 --> 00:12:03,015
-當然不會
-或是浴室

211
00:12:03,015 --> 00:12:04,099
妳認真?

212
00:12:05,100 --> 00:12:09,062
好吧,十分鐘路程外的地方
有間加油站,我可以用走的

213
00:12:10,022 --> 00:12:12,274
寶貝,這太好了,小佩

214
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,775
妳好慷慨

215
00:12:15,527 --> 00:12:16,528
小佩,謝謝

216
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,296
嗨,我是佩姬紐曼,妳叫什麼名字?

217
00:12:34,296 --> 00:12:36,006
艾琳,我是新來的,等我一下

218
00:12:36,006 --> 00:12:37,966
艾琳,我喜歡這名字,是塞爾提克語

219
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:42,930
好,我現在的藥量是3毫克
而且可以領一週份的藥回家

220
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:45,307
我們上週驗過尿了

221
00:12:45,307 --> 00:12:47,809
那是很大的一步,我辛苦好久

222
00:12:47,809 --> 00:12:50,103
恭喜妳

223
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:53,774
-謝謝
-我在系統沒看到,所以...

224
00:12:53,774 --> 00:12:55,817
對,系統老是壞掉

225
00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:59,279
-等一下
-瑪麗,我以為妳休假

226
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:01,365
我在處理一些文件

227
00:13:01,365 --> 00:13:04,243
妳準備好要驗尿了嗎?妳快達到目標了

228
00:13:04,243 --> 00:13:05,327
是啊

229
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:06,578
糟糕,跟妳說

230
00:13:06,578 --> 00:13:09,206
我剛才吃了一個罌粟籽貝果

231
00:13:10,165 --> 00:13:11,416
其實是五個

232
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,835
我吃到第三個就該停

233
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,213
但在我媽死後,我就一直用吃來宣洩情感

234
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:18,215
我一定會驗出偽陽性

235
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:21,802
佩姬,我們不會拒絕妳領藥
但不能給妳一週份的藥量

236
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:22,803
天啊

237
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:27,432
妳必須考量到這該死的季風氣候

238
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:29,560
我的纖維肌痛變得超嚴重

239
00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:32,354
這裡是棕櫚泉,沒有季風氣候

240
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:34,022
這裡有大氣壓力

241
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:37,860
還有個人的壓力,我在寫一部舞台劇

242
00:13:37,860 --> 00:13:40,571
而且我的新工作真的危險到不行

243
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,447
抱歉

244
00:13:43,866 --> 00:13:44,867
可惡

245
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:53,792
吉爾在嗎?

246
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,755
吉爾在不在?

247
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,592
吉爾被捕了

248
00:14:03,010 --> 00:14:05,053
有人接手他的生意嗎?

249
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,431
他的生意

250
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,684
就是那些藥丸啊,如果沒吃的話

251
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,727
人就會暴躁得要命

252
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,146
媽的

253
00:14:14,146 --> 00:14:15,397
{\an8}(混帳格魯大師來電)

254
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:16,982
如果妳要的話,我有牛排

255
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,526
不用,我跟茹絲葵的傑西談好條件了

256
00:14:22,446 --> 00:14:23,947
那可以給我那支大麻菸嗎?

257
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:32,539
{\an8}我試著安裝在門和保險箱上,但不太牢固

258
00:14:32,539 --> 00:14:34,917
-有點搖搖晃晃
-別擔心,沒事

259
00:14:37,794 --> 00:14:38,962
布蘭達,妳好

260
00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:43,258
布蘭達,我在對妳示好

261
00:14:43,258 --> 00:14:45,302
-我有怎樣嗎?
-要怎麼重整頁面?

262
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,804
點頭不是打招呼,妳一臉不爽我的樣子

263
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:53,018
-是因為羅傑嗎?
-不是,我的價值並不取決於男人

264
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:55,354
我現在是私家偵探了

265
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:03,487
妳在幹嘛?

266
00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:06,448
我要導一部戲,還有其他一堆事情

267
00:15:06,448 --> 00:15:09,284
那個混帳格魯大師每五分鐘就打給我一次

268
00:15:09,284 --> 00:15:15,290
我的住處岌岌可危
而且大約有五個人在追求我

269
00:15:15,290 --> 00:15:16,500
真是沒完沒了

270
00:15:16,500 --> 00:15:19,127
我是說妳拿膠囊咖啡幹嘛?

271
00:15:20,504 --> 00:15:22,714
這裡的咖啡很難喝,但我需要咖啡因

272
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:25,259
好,我要負責的任務就像這種

273
00:15:25,259 --> 00:15:29,638
-消失的咖啡膠囊
-很好,大家都會亂拿

274
00:15:30,639 --> 00:15:32,015
那位出軌的妻子

275
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,142
她跟一位女生外遇了,我只是順便提一下

276
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:36,895
你欠我13.95美元
我用線上印刷網站印的

277
00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,480
收據弄丟了

278
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:39,982
真是夠了

279
00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:40,899
(混帳格魯大師,加我的FaceTime)

280
00:15:40,899 --> 00:15:44,027
那根手指不能用超急件去驗嗎?

281
00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:02,546
佩姬

282
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,385
妳美麗的心靈看起來有很多煩惱

283
00:16:09,261 --> 00:16:10,637
你也跟布蘭達這麼說嗎?

284
00:16:12,055 --> 00:16:14,391
我們大多只聊《星際大戰》

285
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,185
還有貓頭鷹

286
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:19,646
我要的是妳的心

287
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:22,774
不是心靈控制的那一種

288
00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:27,321
說到這個,妳那個格魯大師男友還好嗎?

289
00:16:27,321 --> 00:16:30,115
羅傑,我沒有跟格魯大師交往

290
00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,910
(混帳格魯大師來電)

291
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:34,661
佩姬,希望妳高興了

292
00:16:34,661 --> 00:16:36,580
高興是一種過程與練習

293
00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:39,625
我只想說,我正在走過程

294
00:16:39,625 --> 00:16:41,043
這大炮是要幹嘛用的?

295
00:16:42,044 --> 00:16:44,838
幹嘛用的?這是妳答應我媽的東西

296
00:16:45,339 --> 00:16:47,966
妳跟她說要從大炮射出一個人

297
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,426
在總統日的週末表演

298
00:16:49,927 --> 00:16:52,596
首先,你媽可能聽不懂比喻

299
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:56,350
我是說我的舞台劇
會像把我們射出大炮一樣轟動

300
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,811
再來,我們這禮拜應該無法開演

301
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:02,231
不行,妳在週五前就得開演

302
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:05,608
-妳要在18號之前開演
- 18號有什麼大不了的?

303
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,694
反正不管怎樣,妳都要從這座大炮射出去

304
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:08,779
想都別想

305
00:17:09,655 --> 00:17:10,821
等一下

306
00:17:12,241 --> 00:17:15,452
18號是你媽生日
就是為了慶祝這個,對吧?

307
00:17:15,452 --> 00:17:18,079
不是,是為了總統日的週末表演

308
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:21,541
剛好和你媽的生日同一天

309
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,670
不,這是為了表現愛國心

310
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:27,631
也跟汽車跳蚤市場搶人潮

311
00:17:27,631 --> 00:17:33,303
這些大炮、號角、慶典
全都是為了贏得你媽的愛

312
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:35,347
歐文,讀讀《伊萊特拉》

313
00:17:35,347 --> 00:17:36,849
下場很不好

314
00:17:36,849 --> 00:17:40,394
佩姬,這座大炮要在本週末發射
而妳就是炮彈

315
00:17:40,394 --> 00:17:43,355
我的舞台劇裡沒有大炮
而且我有纖維肌痛的毛病

316
00:17:44,398 --> 00:17:46,608
反正這現在已經是舞台劇的一部分了

317
00:17:46,608 --> 00:17:50,279
金潔和我已經把大炮寫進舞台劇的橋段

318
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:51,822
你他媽在開我玩笑吧

319
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:57,703
“那是我兄弟路瑟佛德
我的親兄弟教我如何戰鬥

320
00:17:58,203 --> 00:17:59,204
他是佩劍的...”

321
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:02,374
歐文想出一個南北戰爭的故事

322
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,626
我覺得很精彩,妳聽聽看

323
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:09,256
好,范簫上校在陽台上轉向我,他說

324
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:15,012
“天啊,茉莉柏金斯
我想大炮今晚午夜就要發射了”

325
00:18:16,513 --> 00:18:17,514
這是草稿

326
00:18:17,514 --> 00:18:19,933
我可以提出有建設性的評論嗎?

327
00:18:21,059 --> 00:18:21,894
我不喜歡

328
00:18:23,061 --> 00:18:26,106
這樣沒有建設性,而且是很強烈的批評

329
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:29,776
我們再兩天就要開演了,得有人導正方向

330
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:33,113
而且我要跟妳說一件事
沒有人能坐著兩小時

331
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:35,532
觀賞某人處理自己的戀母情結

332
00:18:35,532 --> 00:18:37,326
妳去跟莎士比亞說啊

333
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:38,785
去跟尼爾賽門說

334
00:18:39,995 --> 00:18:43,248
對了,我要另外請一位
有色人種女性來演妳的角色

335
00:18:43,248 --> 00:18:45,209
演妳媽媽嗎?

336
00:18:45,209 --> 00:18:47,002
必須更像《漢米爾頓》

337
00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:50,547
真有妳的風格,半途而廢

338
00:18:51,215 --> 00:18:53,008
記得妳翹掉女童軍嗎?

339
00:18:53,008 --> 00:18:54,801
在他們賣餅乾那一週

340
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:58,472
他們只得把妳負責的餅乾都買回去
害他們陷入赤字

341
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:01,642
還有溜冰也只去了一次

342
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:05,187
那條蓬蓬裙最後進了垃圾桶

343
00:19:07,648 --> 00:19:10,317
妳以前根本不在乎我半途而廢

344
00:19:11,109 --> 00:19:16,365
妳說女童軍是敲詐的龐氏騙局

345
00:19:20,577 --> 00:19:22,996
妳是我最好的朋友

346
00:19:28,919 --> 00:19:32,297
但妳不是她

347
00:19:34,675 --> 00:19:36,802
妳是巴士上的女士

348
00:19:38,512 --> 00:19:40,180
搭巴士回家吧

349
00:19:41,306 --> 00:19:44,768
因為我改了台詞嗎?我剛才在提案

350
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,228
妳知道提案的意思

351
00:19:52,776 --> 00:19:54,152
你到底想幹嘛?

352
00:19:54,653 --> 00:19:56,738
嘿,是我,巴伯

353
00:19:56,738 --> 00:19:58,782
妳好像很忙喔

354
00:19:58,782 --> 00:20:02,202
我打電話給妳是因為
醫院給我60單位的羥考酮

355
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:05,497
這顯然是妳的愛好,我想妳應該會想要

356
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,792
所以我會把東西放在我家門外,直到明天

357
00:20:27,603 --> 00:20:30,647
好了,女戰士,可以輕一點嗎?

358
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:35,194
我有纖維肌痛的毛病
暴力會讓我很不舒服

359
00:20:35,903 --> 00:20:39,239
嘿,可以在不綁住我的情況下聊一聊嗎?

360
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,491
海瑟,進來,妳得試試這個

361
00:20:41,992 --> 00:20:43,493
進來嚐嚐番紅花

362
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,873
我剛才加了一搓,幾乎沒加奶油,幾乎啦

363
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,001
妳真是滿嘴屁話

364
00:20:51,585 --> 00:20:53,921
我用Google反搜尋妳傳給我的買家照片

365
00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:56,298
他是知名罪犯,妳也是

366
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,133
他當然是罪犯

367
00:20:58,133 --> 00:21:00,135
不然你覺得誰會買遭竊畫作?

368
00:21:00,135 --> 00:21:01,261
修女嗎?

369
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:04,389
而且我沒進過監獄,因為罪是他犯的

370
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:06,808
妳身邊依然發生了許多犯罪事件

371
00:21:06,808 --> 00:21:09,394
我一點也不喜歡

372
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,398
妳要我看那把刀嗎?

373
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,816
好,我看見妳的刀了

374
00:21:14,816 --> 00:21:17,736
嘿,我不是試刀的好對象,我有血友病

375
00:21:19,404 --> 00:21:21,490
妳才沒有血友病

376
00:21:21,490 --> 00:21:23,450
對,其實我有

377
00:21:23,450 --> 00:21:26,787
纖維肌痛、血友病,我全身毛病一大堆

378
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:27,871
對,這還用說

379
00:21:28,622 --> 00:21:29,540
真的要這樣?

380
00:21:29,540 --> 00:21:32,709
-這位巴比欠我...
-叫我巴伯或羅伯,我...

381
00:21:35,587 --> 00:21:37,172
叫我什麼都行,沒關係

382
00:21:40,050 --> 00:21:43,387
小巴比欠我一屁股債

383
00:21:43,887 --> 00:21:47,391
-他說妳可以替他搞到錢
-她可以

384
00:21:47,391 --> 00:21:49,977
-妳可以
-妳要如何找到買家

385
00:21:49,977 --> 00:21:53,021
來買小巴比的假畫?

386
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:55,232
-我已經找到了
-她找到一位了

387
00:21:56,275 --> 00:21:58,402
妳怎麼會認識
手頭上有超過一百萬美元的人?

388
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:01,780
我以前在紐約替詹姆斯凱切爾工作

389
00:22:01,780 --> 00:22:04,199
-他是很大的收藏家
-超大

390
00:22:05,450 --> 00:22:08,036
好吧,大收藏家都認得贗品

391
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:09,413
有些認得,有些不認得

392
00:22:10,205 --> 00:22:13,876
有品味的收藏家買到的作品比較少

393
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,711
凱切爾在其中看見商機

394
00:22:17,296 --> 00:22:19,882
妳以為我很沒文化,是不是?

395
00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:21,675
不是,她沒有

396
00:22:22,676 --> 00:22:26,555
不,我知道你是亞曼蘭督
是一位很有素養的收藏家

397
00:22:26,555 --> 00:22:29,641
你住在蘭喬米拉卡本內5537號

398
00:22:36,607 --> 00:22:37,608
這是妳的把戲嗎?

399
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:40,360
-妳自以為認識我?
-不,我應該不認識你

400
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,654
好,海瑟現在跟你一起住

401
00:22:42,654 --> 00:22:45,324
我懂,因為我也跟我媽同住到她過世

402
00:22:45,324 --> 00:22:46,408
家人很重要

403
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:47,993
但我認為這些亂七八糟的事

404
00:22:47,993 --> 00:22:50,245
可能違反了她的假釋條件

405
00:22:50,245 --> 00:22:52,748
妳他媽怎麼知道...

406
00:22:52,748 --> 00:22:55,626
我一位警察前男友替我查了車牌

407
00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:57,211
別問,他是公路巡警

408
00:22:57,211 --> 00:23:01,507
他也在我的車上裝了GPS追蹤裝置
因為他是個跟蹤狂

409
00:23:01,507 --> 00:23:04,635
那妳找到的這個人...這位凱切爾呢?

410
00:23:05,636 --> 00:23:08,222
他跟妳說他想買這幅畫?

411
00:23:08,222 --> 00:23:10,057
-他想得很
-他想得很

412
00:23:10,057 --> 00:23:12,976
他很清楚這幅是什麼畫
我可以替你弄到錢

413
00:23:12,976 --> 00:23:14,895
-她會的
-但要是妳戳我一刀

414
00:23:14,895 --> 00:23:18,398
或是割下我的奶頭
我就不知道有什麼好處了

415
00:23:21,151 --> 00:23:22,528
對我有幫助

416
00:23:23,862 --> 00:23:26,615
沒事,親愛的,沒關係...

417
00:23:29,326 --> 00:23:30,702
妳在騙人

418
00:23:30,702 --> 00:23:34,623
沒有,我說有一個競爭對手
他就說要先匯一筆訂金

419
00:23:34,623 --> 00:23:37,835
但我想你永遠不會知道了
所以你拿不到錢

420
00:23:37,835 --> 00:23:42,047
而且卡爾州警大約再過20分鐘
就會巡到這裡

421
00:23:42,047 --> 00:23:44,550
因為他從以前就這樣

422
00:23:44,550 --> 00:23:46,844
我也不知道,有些女生覺得這樣很受寵

423
00:23:46,844 --> 00:23:49,012
我們找得到那個GPS裝置

424
00:23:49,012 --> 00:23:51,223
太好了,因為我找不到

425
00:23:51,223 --> 00:23:54,768
我不曉得,是一個晶片
大概像睫毛之類的大小

426
00:23:54,768 --> 00:23:57,896
怎樣的訂金?

427
00:23:57,896 --> 00:24:01,316
二十五萬,好嗎?

428
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:04,695
要兩天,等他從佛羅倫斯回來

429
00:24:04,695 --> 00:24:08,699
那裡的網路訊號很差
如果他延後行程,或許要三天

430
00:24:12,828 --> 00:24:15,914
嘿,你可以給我我原本要來拿的藥嗎?

431
00:24:21,003 --> 00:24:24,673
(祝你平安)

432
00:24:30,220 --> 00:24:31,221
嘿

433
00:24:32,264 --> 00:24:35,767
-那根手指的消息有著落嗎?
-沒有,大概只是根普通手指

434
00:24:36,935 --> 00:24:39,938
當然有消息,但我不告訴你

435
00:24:39,938 --> 00:24:40,856
{\an8}(康乃爾)

436
00:24:40,856 --> 00:24:45,068
{\an8}你還穿著那件衣服晃來晃去?想騙誰啊?

437
00:24:45,068 --> 00:24:48,947
-我去念了一學期
-你是在暑期班念了三週

438
00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:51,408
對啦,跟妳說,這間學校評價很高

439
00:24:51,408 --> 00:24:55,037
對我的生意有好處
有助於培養顧客群,好嗎?

440
00:24:58,498 --> 00:25:02,044
你可以給我巴伯寄來的唐娜作品型錄嗎?

441
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:05,881
嘿,你知道她仿了
莫內的《滑鐵盧橋》嗎?

442
00:25:05,881 --> 00:25:07,424
不可置信吧?

443
00:25:07,966 --> 00:25:10,135
我查過了,這系列的那幾幅畫

444
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:12,930
他們要賣的價位都高達八位數

445
00:25:12,930 --> 00:25:15,390
妳看他畫的霧氣有多精美

446
00:25:15,390 --> 00:25:18,435
你看她畫的霧氣有多精美

447
00:25:19,978 --> 00:25:23,190
反正這就是我們得好好思考的原因

448
00:25:25,234 --> 00:25:26,235
妳要這些型錄幹嘛?

449
00:25:26,235 --> 00:25:28,987
是要給凱切爾看嗎?別跟我說他要來

450
00:25:28,987 --> 00:25:31,281
現在是怎樣?記者會嗎?

451
00:25:31,281 --> 00:25:33,283
好了啦,回去掛你的裝飾

452
00:25:36,328 --> 00:25:38,205
{\an8}-那是我的毯子
-外面很冷

453
00:25:38,205 --> 00:25:40,040
{\an8}丹尼,說好了你不可以進屋

454
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:42,167
你現在居然自己拿床單了?

455
00:25:42,167 --> 00:25:45,963
茱蒂抖到一個不行,好嗎?

456
00:25:47,464 --> 00:25:49,132
好啦,茱蒂,晚點見

457
00:25:52,219 --> 00:25:55,138
(致詹姆斯凱切爾,你看這個)

458
00:26:08,652 --> 00:26:10,362
(凱切爾,加我的FaceTime)

459
00:26:12,447 --> 00:26:16,159
-哎呀,看看這是誰
-看看妳啊

460
00:26:16,159 --> 00:26:19,288
來自長島塞奧西特的小佩姬紐曼

461
00:26:20,038 --> 00:26:21,331
你怎麼去那麼久?

462
00:26:23,500 --> 00:26:24,793
你有看到那幅作品嗎?

463
00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:30,174
你看

464
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:33,135
見鬼了

465
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:36,471
吉米,我們都知道真跡回不來了

466
00:26:36,471 --> 00:26:38,473
怎麼說?就我所知,那就是真跡

467
00:26:38,473 --> 00:26:40,142
好,你好乖

468
00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:42,561
-簡單,你好乖
-是伊森嗎?

469
00:26:45,606 --> 00:26:46,648
伊森

470
00:26:51,153 --> 00:26:53,030
他現在綁丸子頭了?

471
00:26:53,906 --> 00:26:54,907
對

472
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,452
我必須親自講價

473
00:26:58,994 --> 00:27:02,497
那就快點來,他們快坐不住了

474
00:27:02,497 --> 00:27:04,208
我再把行程表傳給妳

475
00:27:05,709 --> 00:27:06,710
-只要1.8公尺...
-等一下

476
00:27:07,211 --> 00:27:08,253
妳說誰?

477
00:27:08,253 --> 00:27:12,549
一個金髮女子,差不多這麼高
那片客製指甲是我幫你妹做的

478
00:27:12,549 --> 00:27:14,885
當她說她在男友床上找到那東西

479
00:27:14,885 --> 00:27:17,137
我心想,妳他媽在說什麼?

480
00:27:17,137 --> 00:27:18,096
膚色超白嗎?

481
00:27:21,308 --> 00:27:25,062
-西爾維雅普拉斯?
-那應該不是她的真名

482
00:27:27,439 --> 00:27:29,816
-幹
-幹...

483
00:27:31,693 --> 00:27:33,028
-幹
-裡面有人

484
00:27:33,028 --> 00:27:36,156
-滾啦
-對啊

485
00:27:52,297 --> 00:27:53,382
里歐

486
00:28:00,180 --> 00:28:01,181
嘿,聽我說

487
00:28:01,181 --> 00:28:04,351
我要你去找一個
叫做西爾維雅普拉斯的賤人

488
00:28:04,351 --> 00:28:05,769
沒找到就別回來

489
00:29:08,790 --> 00:29:10,792
字幕翻譯:陳彥含