1 00:00:53,971 --> 00:00:55,389 Jangshemash. 2 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:56,932 My name a Borat. 3 00:00:57,016 --> 00:01:00,478 My life is nice. Not. 4 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:02,980 But how I end up like this? 5 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,483 14 year ago, 6 00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:09,612 I release a moviefilm which was great success in US&A. 7 00:01:09,695 --> 00:01:14,325 But Kazakhstan become a laughingstocks around the world. 8 00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:18,496 Our exports of potassium and pubis plummet. 9 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:22,208 Many brokers leapt from our tallest skyscrapers. 10 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:27,546 Since Running of Jew had been canceled, 11 00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:31,884 all Kazakhstan had left was Holocaust Remembrance Day, 12 00:01:31,967 --> 00:01:35,012 where we commemorate our heroic soldiers 13 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,515 who ran the camps. 14 00:01:37,598 --> 00:01:40,559 I was blamed for Kazakhstan’s failure 15 00:01:40,643 --> 00:01:43,354 and banned from ever make reportings again. 16 00:01:43,437 --> 00:01:46,816 I was publicly humiliate. 17 00:01:46,899 --> 00:01:49,568 Ow! Wawaweewa! 18 00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:53,405 I was sentence for life to hard labor in gulag. 19 00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:57,117 But 14 year later, men from government 20 00:01:57,201 --> 00:01:59,995 bring me to presidential palace. 21 00:02:06,085 --> 00:02:07,878 Premier Nazarbayev! 22 00:02:07,962 --> 00:02:10,130 Listen carefully, asshole. 23 00:02:10,214 --> 00:02:12,967 I have a mission for you. 24 00:02:13,050 --> 00:02:15,177 He explain that, while I was in gulag, 25 00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:18,097 US&A was ruin by an evil man 26 00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:21,267 who stood against all American values. 27 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,685 His name? 28 00:02:22,768 --> 00:02:24,728 Barack Obama. 29 00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:29,233 This led to other Africans becoming political leaders. 30 00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,112 But then a miracle occurred. 31 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:37,992 A magnificent new premier name McDonald Trump rose to power 32 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,327 and made America great again. 33 00:02:40,411 --> 00:02:42,288 He also became buddies 34 00:02:42,371 --> 00:02:44,206 with tough-guy leaders across the world: 35 00:02:44,290 --> 00:02:45,499 Putin, 36 00:02:45,583 --> 00:02:46,834 Kim Jong-un, 37 00:02:46,917 --> 00:02:48,335 Bolsonaro 38 00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:49,837 and Kenneth West. 39 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,339 Everyone apart from me. 40 00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:53,924 You, Sagdiyev... 41 00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:56,969 will return to US&A to deliver a gift 42 00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,514 so that Kazakhstan will earn the respect of Trump. 43 00:03:00,598 --> 00:03:03,183 I was instruct not to give the gift to Trump, 44 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:04,852 since, on previous mission, 45 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:08,939 I had accidentally made shit in front his house. 46 00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,692 So, it must go to someone in his inner circle. 47 00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:14,695 America’s most famous ladies man - 48 00:03:14,778 --> 00:03:17,781 - Michael Pence. - The vice premier 49 00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:19,617 was known to be such a pussy hound 50 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:23,829 that he could not be left alone in a room with a womans. 51 00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:25,998 What is the gift? 52 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,917 Johnny the Monkey. 53 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,919 Johnny the Monkey, 54 00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,629 Kazakhstan’s Minister of Culture 55 00:03:31,712 --> 00:03:34,214 and number one porno star. 56 00:03:35,174 --> 00:03:38,302 A cameraman will follow you to document your mission. 57 00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:41,722 I will need my producer, Azamat Bagatov. 58 00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:43,307 Impossible. 59 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:44,308 Why? 60 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,601 You are sitting on him. 61 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,690 Also, get me a chocolate cake. 62 00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:54,151 Now, get him ready! 63 00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,118 These gypsy tears will keep you safe. 64 00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:18,342 Before I make commencings my mission, 65 00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,637 I returned to my village in order to give kiss 66 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,807 to my sons and make sexy time with my wife. 67 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,434 I’m back, everybody! I’m back! 68 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:31,522 But I discovered that my neighbor, Nursultan Tulyakbay, 69 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,024 had taken everything from me: 70 00:04:34,108 --> 00:04:37,778 my Mikhael the Mouse pajamas and my sons, 71 00:04:37,861 --> 00:04:40,614 Bilak, Biram and Hueylewis. 72 00:04:40,698 --> 00:04:42,116 That not my name anymore. 73 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,325 I’m so ashamed of you, 74 00:04:43,409 --> 00:04:44,451 I change it to... 75 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:45,119 Jeffrey 76 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,453 Epstein. 77 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,962 All I had left was my livestocks: 78 00:04:55,045 --> 00:04:57,589 two pigs, one cow 79 00:04:57,673 --> 00:04:58,966 and a daughter. 80 00:05:01,093 --> 00:05:02,761 Once upon a time, 81 00:05:02,845 --> 00:05:05,681 there was a lowly peasant girl called Melania 82 00:05:05,764 --> 00:05:07,766 from shithole country Slovenia 83 00:05:07,850 --> 00:05:11,145 who dreamed of marrying a rich old man. 84 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,315 I have a non-male son? 85 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,443 Daddy? 86 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:20,029 Why are you living like this? 87 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:24,033 Because I have no husband to put me in a beautiful wife cage. 88 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:26,368 Unlike that bitch, Lilyat Sakanov! 89 00:05:28,412 --> 00:05:29,371 How old are you? 90 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:30,914 Fifteen. 91 00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,374 Fifteen?!?? 92 00:05:32,458 --> 00:05:35,878 You’re the oldest unmarried woman in all Kazakhstan! 93 00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:39,465 I’m so happy that you’re back. 94 00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:42,384 I’m not. I’m off to US&A. 95 00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:43,844 Please take me with you! 96 00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:45,596 Not possible. 97 00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,685 Please Daddy. 98 00:05:53,979 --> 00:05:55,230 Here... 99 00:05:55,314 --> 00:05:59,068 - have a piece of onion instead. - Sagdiyev. 100 00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,819 Johnny’s in the crate. 101 00:06:00,903 --> 00:06:02,071 You must leave now. 102 00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:05,783 Uh... nice to meet you. 103 00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,370 I go to America! 104 00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,832 Go to hell, Sagdiyev! 105 00:06:13,916 --> 00:06:15,375 Don’t bother coming back this time! 106 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,175 Get lost! May all your shits have antlers! 107 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:26,345 It was time for me to return to Yankeeland 108 00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:29,556 to save my peoples. 109 00:06:35,771 --> 00:06:39,108 While Johnny traveled by luxury cruise ship, 110 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:44,238 I was placed on cargo boat and arrived 22 days later. 111 00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:01,004 That afternoon, I procure a sleeping apartment for Johnny 112 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,881 and transform it into accommodation 113 00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:06,426 -suitable for an ape of his stature. -Welcome to US&A! 114 00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,351 While waiting for Johnny, 115 00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:18,397 I decide to make inspection of nearest village. 116 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:19,982 My name a Borat. -What do you say? 117 00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,608 -Borat. -No, it’s not me. 118 00:07:21,692 --> 00:07:24,820 - High five. - No, that’s... 119 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,029 I must go. 120 00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,364 There was problem. 121 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:29,950 People make recognize my face. 122 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:33,203 Not me. 123 00:07:33,287 --> 00:07:34,496 I’ll pay you a dollar for an autograph. 124 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,165 -You make mistake. -Can I get an autograph? 125 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,250 It not me. Yeah, it somebody else. 126 00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,421 Or maybe it was gray suit. 127 00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:43,922 Borat! 128 00:07:44,006 --> 00:07:45,340 -I’m not Borat. -Borat! -Yeah, you are. 129 00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:46,800 -Yeah, you are. Can’t deny it. -I’m not Borat. 130 00:07:48,177 --> 00:07:49,386 How would I do 131 00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:52,431 my secretive mission if I was famous? 132 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:56,101 I would need disguises. 133 00:07:56,185 --> 00:07:57,477 What is this? 134 00:07:57,561 --> 00:07:59,354 -That almost looks like you. -What is that? 135 00:07:59,438 --> 00:08:01,523 "Stupid foreigner reporter"? 136 00:08:01,607 --> 00:08:03,483 Yeah. Kind of looks like you. 137 00:08:03,567 --> 00:08:05,152 You got the dark hair and the mustache. 138 00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,321 No, but this is not like me. 139 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,531 I mean, it does look like you. 140 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,782 No? 141 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:16,955 Take care. 142 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:19,541 You’re welcome. Have a good day. 143 00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,169 Much had changed since I was last in US&A. 144 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:26,548 America had become calculator crazy. 145 00:08:26,632 --> 00:08:32,471 I needed to make purchasings of an electrical abacus. 146 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:34,848 I think we could get rid of this one for $30. 147 00:08:36,475 --> 00:08:39,019 -What this? -FaceTime. 148 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,312 Yes? 149 00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:42,189 -And now... -Hello? 150 00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,774 -Hello. -Who this? 151 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,359 This is Brian. 152 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,611 Hello. I talk to him. Please be quiet. 153 00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,531 Hello? Ghost with blue shirt, answer me. 154 00:08:51,615 --> 00:08:53,492 You are demon? 155 00:08:53,575 --> 00:08:55,202 This guy that you’re seeing in the phone... 156 00:08:55,285 --> 00:08:56,745 -Please be quiet. -...is me. 157 00:08:56,828 --> 00:09:00,082 -What? -If I say something, he says something. 158 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:03,877 Brian Brother, please, you must be quiet. 159 00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:06,338 Speakings not polite. 160 00:09:06,421 --> 00:09:09,758 So I’m gonna show you how you can ask Google questions 161 00:09:09,841 --> 00:09:11,176 and it’ll give you answers. 162 00:09:11,260 --> 00:09:13,845 -I can make it typings? -Yes. 163 00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:17,349 "Restaurants near me." 164 00:09:17,432 --> 00:09:21,311 Maybe I look for food that I like to eat. 165 00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,563 And for dessert, um... 166 00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:29,987 -What this? -Ah... 167 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:33,156 That’s not what you’re talking about, I bet. 168 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,242 This is for dessert? 169 00:09:35,325 --> 00:09:37,577 No, this is probably what you’re looking for. 170 00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:41,331 It have a pictures of a woman with no clothes? 171 00:09:41,415 --> 00:09:44,835 -Most likely. -Wawaweewa. 172 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,795 Can I make borrowings this, for one moment? 173 00:09:46,878 --> 00:09:49,047 -Sure. -I need go, uh, toilet. 174 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,551 Uh, you stay here. 175 00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:07,941 I think he’s figuring it out. 176 00:10:09,651 --> 00:10:11,862 Brian help me use calculator 177 00:10:11,945 --> 00:10:14,114 to find out that Johnny the Monkey 178 00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,284 would be deliver in three hours’ time. 179 00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,578 I was excite. 180 00:10:28,378 --> 00:10:30,255 -How you doing, my friend? I’m Victor. -Yeah. 181 00:10:30,339 --> 00:10:32,632 - Pleased to meet you. - Nice meet you. 182 00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:34,217 -You want me to help you open it? -Uh, yes, please. 183 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,058 Johnny? 184 00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:42,934 Your Excellency? 185 00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:49,524 What are you doing here? 186 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:53,278 - I accidentally fell in. - ...Johnny? 187 00:10:54,571 --> 00:10:56,156 Johnny? 188 00:10:57,616 --> 00:10:59,076 Johnny? 189 00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,036 Johnny? 190 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,334 You ate him...? 191 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:09,252 No. 192 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:10,754 He ate himself. 193 00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,966 You are going home! 194 00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:17,135 Can you help me repack her, please? 195 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:23,683 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 196 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,397 Hammer, now. Now, now. Hammer. 197 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:31,024 Tatti! 198 00:11:36,488 --> 00:11:37,989 -Thank you, my friend. -Thank you. 199 00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:42,119 Uh, thank you. 200 00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:48,667 I needed to give this wretched news to my premier, 201 00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:53,755 so I used my telephones to locate America’s fax machine. 202 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:58,218 I need to, uh, make a contact with, uh, 203 00:11:58,301 --> 00:12:00,178 my premier, Nazarbayev. 204 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,390 -I must inform him of some news. -Okay. 205 00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:05,225 What do you want it to say? 206 00:12:06,309 --> 00:12:08,895 "Sup." S-U-P. 207 00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:13,191 That it? 208 00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:14,609 Okay. 209 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,701 He sent you back, he said "S-U-P" 210 00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:25,287 with a question mark after it. 211 00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,831 "Sup?" 212 00:12:27,914 --> 00:12:31,376 Can you answer him, "Chillin’"? 213 00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:41,470 He sent you a picture this time. 214 00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:45,974 This is him. It’s strange. 215 00:12:46,057 --> 00:12:47,893 Okay. 216 00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,272 "Sorry. Not for you. 217 00:12:52,355 --> 00:12:55,066 I was sexting my sister." 218 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,869 Uh, sorry. 219 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,500 "How is Johnny?" 220 00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:18,632 Can you write, uh, 221 00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:22,093 "He not as alive as he used to be"? 222 00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:23,845 That’s it? 223 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,729 What did he write? 224 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,440 He sent you a bunch of angry faces. 225 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,194 "If you do not deliver bribe 226 00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:42,447 "to get me into strongman club, 227 00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:46,076 "you will be execute. 228 00:13:47,577 --> 00:13:52,624 You will find a new gift for him or you will die." 229 00:13:52,707 --> 00:13:56,628 What-what else do, uh, powerful men here like? 230 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,758 ...NBC talk show. 231 00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:03,718 I’m gonna get great ratings on your show. 232 00:14:03,802 --> 00:14:05,387 Trump is surrounded by women 233 00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,556 as music blares in the background. 234 00:14:07,639 --> 00:14:11,560 Trump gestures to one and appears to say to Epstein, 235 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:14,104 "Look at her back there. She’s hot." 236 00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:24,906 Can you write, uh, "My daughter is here. 237 00:14:24,990 --> 00:14:28,243 Shall I give her as gift?" 238 00:14:32,497 --> 00:14:34,499 -What he say? -"Perfect. 239 00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:38,378 She will be sexy gift for Michael Pence." 240 00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:41,756 Wawaweewa. High five. 241 00:14:41,840 --> 00:14:44,092 Come inside! Come inside! 242 00:14:46,177 --> 00:14:49,514 -Daddy, why is the sky so low? -This is a room. 243 00:14:49,598 --> 00:14:52,601 -I’m sorry I escaped from box -- -Never mind, I forgive you. 244 00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,644 I have decide... 245 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:56,521 that you will stay here with me. 246 00:14:56,605 --> 00:14:58,440 You have been chosen... 247 00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,233 to be given as a gift 248 00:15:00,317 --> 00:15:01,443 to the Vice President. 249 00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:05,864 I will be the next Queen Melania? 250 00:15:05,947 --> 00:15:09,826 -Mm-hmm. -She’s the happiest wife in the world! 251 00:15:25,467 --> 00:15:28,303 Now, where do girls sleep? 252 00:15:29,471 --> 00:15:32,307 All the answers are in here... 253 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:38,730 ‘Daughter Owner’s Manual.’ 254 00:15:38,813 --> 00:15:42,484 Official publication of Ministry of Agriculture and Wildlife. 255 00:15:44,027 --> 00:15:44,944 Wait... 256 00:15:45,028 --> 00:15:46,946 ...you have a name? Wawaweewa. 257 00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:48,823 Tutar. 258 00:15:50,367 --> 00:15:53,662 - I need one of these... - Ah. 259 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:57,040 I know just the place! 260 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:08,593 Beat you! 261 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:10,136 What can I help you with? 262 00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,181 I prepare my daughter for market. 263 00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:18,311 And, uh, I am looking for, um, a suitable cage for her. 264 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,314 Okay. A cage? 265 00:16:21,398 --> 00:16:23,274 This is a pretty nice one here. 266 00:16:23,358 --> 00:16:25,527 -900 bucks. -900? A lot of money. 267 00:16:25,610 --> 00:16:28,405 -Yeah. -BORAT: I think this one too expensive for you. 268 00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,906 No, Daddy. Please, please? 269 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,866 Please, please, please. I want it. 270 00:16:31,950 --> 00:16:33,410 She want it. 271 00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,203 - Daughters. - Yeah. 272 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:37,038 -Teenagers. -Yeah, you got to make them happy. 273 00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:39,582 You got to make them happy. Yeah. 274 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,793 How many other girls are gonna live in here with me? 275 00:16:41,876 --> 00:16:43,169 How many, uh, 276 00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:46,089 girls you normally put in a cage this size? 277 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,174 Uh, one. 278 00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:51,136 But I hear, uh, McDonald Trump, he, uh, 279 00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:53,179 -cage, uh, Mexican children? -Well... 280 00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,640 - Yes? High five. - Yeah, yeah. 281 00:16:58,101 --> 00:17:01,104 -What is this? -You put gas in it, propane. 282 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,690 If I had a gypsy in a van and I opened the gas, 283 00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,442 -will it finish him? -Yeah, that-- Probably. 284 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:06,943 -Yes? -Yeah. 285 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:10,029 How many gypsies could I finish with one canister? 286 00:17:10,113 --> 00:17:12,615 However many you had in the van. 287 00:17:12,699 --> 00:17:17,412 Let’s say I wanted to, uh, um, finish lives of 20 gypsy. 288 00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:18,913 Would this be enough? 289 00:17:18,997 --> 00:17:19,998 Maybe the bigger one. 290 00:17:20,081 --> 00:17:21,249 -Ah, the bigger one. -Yeah. 291 00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:24,127 All right, you guys, your total is, uh, 292 00:17:24,210 --> 00:17:27,964 $1,491.82. 293 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:31,176 Uh, too much. Maybe I take away some of this. 294 00:17:45,482 --> 00:17:46,649 We take it all. 295 00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:51,446 One day, she was invited to a grand ball. 296 00:17:51,529 --> 00:17:54,616 When Fat King Donald saw Melania... 297 00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:59,704 ...he became more turgid than he’d ever been before. 298 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,125 So, he grabbed her vagine. 299 00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,464 Tutar. 300 00:18:09,547 --> 00:18:12,008 Your palace...awaits. 301 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,134 Come see. 302 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,096 Not allowed. 303 00:18:18,056 --> 00:18:19,224 You like it? 304 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,309 It’s the best present I’ve ever had! 305 00:18:21,392 --> 00:18:24,020 Is it nicer than Melania’s cage? 306 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:25,396 Not quite, 307 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:29,108 but similar to cage of the wife before her... 308 00:18:29,192 --> 00:18:30,443 ...Stormy Daniels. 309 00:18:30,527 --> 00:18:32,237 Get some sleep. 310 00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:36,699 Tomorrow we will get you ready for Pence. 311 00:18:37,408 --> 00:18:38,743 Well, good night. 312 00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,915 Daddy, I love you. 313 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,501 Thank you. 314 00:18:49,003 --> 00:18:52,215 There is so little wind in here! 315 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:57,720 Look at me! I’m flying! 316 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,722 Get inside. 317 00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,600 Where are we going? 318 00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:07,814 I’m taking you to meet one of America’s leading feminists. 319 00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,023 Ooh. 320 00:19:11,192 --> 00:19:13,444 Hi, I’m Macy. 321 00:19:13,528 --> 00:19:15,446 -It’s nice to meet you. -Nice meet you. 322 00:19:15,530 --> 00:19:16,865 Come sit with me. 323 00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:19,284 -You are sugar baby. -I am. 324 00:19:19,367 --> 00:19:21,035 What is sugar baby? 325 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:25,999 So, pretty much, a sugar baby is a younger girl like you and I, 326 00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,459 and we’re dating someone who’s older. 327 00:19:28,543 --> 00:19:30,837 -Yes. -And how old do you like them? 328 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,297 That’s the question. 329 00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:35,049 -Nearly dead. -Okay, then, you should 330 00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:36,843 get someone who just had a heart attack. 331 00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,720 -Yes. -Okay, high five. 332 00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:40,597 -High five. -I love that. That’s what you want. 333 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:45,143 As a woman, you never want to be a person who is aggressive. 334 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:48,897 You want to be more submissive. 335 00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:53,276 We have to be kind of weak. 336 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:54,652 But I’m strong. 337 00:19:54,736 --> 00:19:57,322 I can open a beer with my small hole. 338 00:19:58,364 --> 00:19:59,866 I can’t-- I-- Look, 339 00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,702 we got to be appropriate and ladylike. 340 00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,913 Okay. 341 00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:07,373 This is what you’re not supposed to do. 342 00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,753 Okay, you did do it. 343 00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,840 Okay, so we’re not gonna do what you just did ever on a date. 344 00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,800 ’Cause if you do that, they won’t like you. 345 00:20:17,884 --> 00:20:19,928 You want them to like you. 346 00:20:20,011 --> 00:20:22,055 And so that way, you can get money from them. 347 00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,515 What can I do to make a man like me? 348 00:20:24,599 --> 00:20:27,560 You need a total makeover. Okay? 349 00:20:27,644 --> 00:20:31,439 From face to hair to clothes to personality 350 00:20:31,522 --> 00:20:33,691 to gestures and to what you’re doing. 351 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,401 -Yes. -Are you ready for a makeover? 352 00:20:35,485 --> 00:20:37,111 -Yes. -Okay. 353 00:20:38,863 --> 00:20:42,992 Can you come with me to the hairdresser? 354 00:20:43,076 --> 00:20:46,871 No, what if they recognize me? 355 00:20:46,955 --> 00:20:48,665 Just disguise yourself as an American. 356 00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:51,668 I’m Melinda. 357 00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,836 My name John Chevrolet. 358 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,546 Nice to meet you. 359 00:20:55,630 --> 00:20:58,800 I want you to make a hotsie out of this notsie. 360 00:20:58,883 --> 00:21:01,427 -We can do it. -You want to see the hair? 361 00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,388 I would like to see her hair, yes. 362 00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:06,140 -Okay. -No, ma’am. Not that hair. 363 00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:09,727 I have a, um, idea of a hair. 364 00:21:09,811 --> 00:21:10,687 Okay. 365 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,063 This one. Nice one. 366 00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:14,190 This is actually a gentleman. 367 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,900 -This is a man? -Yes, sir. 368 00:21:21,322 --> 00:21:23,616 Okay, so we’re gonna do a spray tan today. 369 00:21:23,700 --> 00:21:25,451 How dark is she wanting to go? 370 00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:27,829 What color is best for racist family? 371 00:21:27,912 --> 00:21:29,539 I would say right here. 372 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:31,708 I wouldn’t go any darker than a six or a seven. 373 00:21:31,791 --> 00:21:33,126 Tatti. 374 00:21:33,209 --> 00:21:36,004 Tatti. Monkey’s cock. 375 00:21:36,087 --> 00:21:38,172 Don’t. 376 00:21:38,256 --> 00:21:40,383 -Delicious. -That is not to eat. -No, no, no. 377 00:21:40,466 --> 00:21:42,010 And what, uh, flavor this one? Can I...? 378 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:46,347 It’s not a flavor... Awesome. 379 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:49,183 -It’s not so nice. -It’s not food. I told you that. 380 00:21:51,269 --> 00:21:52,520 Wawaweewa. 381 00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:58,192 I need dress with real sexy peels. 382 00:21:58,276 --> 00:21:59,360 Okay. 383 00:21:59,444 --> 00:22:02,739 Where is the "no means yes" section? 384 00:22:06,659 --> 00:22:08,369 Yes? 385 00:22:09,912 --> 00:22:11,831 Okay, we need to try this on. 386 00:22:18,546 --> 00:22:20,298 -This is not a dress. -What this? 387 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:21,966 Uh, this is a bag... 388 00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:24,093 -Mm. -...that just goes over the dress. 389 00:22:24,177 --> 00:22:25,595 Very nice. 390 00:22:25,678 --> 00:22:28,264 -Tutar, you like the dress? -Yes, I love it. 391 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:32,185 -The man who own this, his name Michelle? -No. 392 00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:33,728 This is my store. 393 00:22:33,811 --> 00:22:35,938 My name’s Michelle, and I own this store. 394 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,608 -What? -Yes. 395 00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:43,404 Daddy, a woman can own a business? 396 00:22:45,114 --> 00:22:48,576 No, when a woman owns a business her brain breaks 397 00:22:48,659 --> 00:22:50,119 and her head falls off. 398 00:22:50,203 --> 00:22:51,621 Just like the previous owners, look... 399 00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:54,957 So young... tragic. 400 00:22:57,794 --> 00:22:59,921 Could a woman ever be a journalist? 401 00:23:00,755 --> 00:23:02,131 No, it’s dangerous. 402 00:23:02,215 --> 00:23:04,425 Look at the manual. 403 00:23:04,509 --> 00:23:08,304 This happened when a woman tried to be a journalist. 404 00:23:11,474 --> 00:23:13,226 What about driving a car? 405 00:23:13,309 --> 00:23:14,852 Driving a car!? 406 00:23:14,936 --> 00:23:17,688 This is what happened when a woman drove a car. 407 00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,443 Can a woman ask questions? 408 00:23:22,527 --> 00:23:23,986 Questions? 409 00:23:25,738 --> 00:23:27,281 I think it’s dangerous. 410 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:32,453 Time for bed. 411 00:23:32,537 --> 00:23:36,290 Tomorrow you’ll observe how American girls behave in public. 412 00:23:38,459 --> 00:23:40,920 Howdy, folks. Welcome. 413 00:23:44,632 --> 00:23:45,925 Look, Daddy! 414 00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:48,636 The fathers hold their daughter’s hands here! 415 00:23:48,719 --> 00:23:50,930 He probably forgot to bring a leash. 416 00:23:51,013 --> 00:23:52,348 Daddy, hold my hand 417 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:54,892 or they will know you are fake 418 00:24:23,629 --> 00:24:25,047 Could a daddy ever love a daughter 419 00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,716 as much as he love his sons? 420 00:24:26,799 --> 00:24:32,096 No, any father who did that would be sentenced to death. 421 00:24:33,264 --> 00:24:36,642 -Howdy doody. -Hey, how are ya? 422 00:24:36,726 --> 00:24:38,853 I would like purchase a cake. 423 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:41,814 Prodigious size, 424 00:24:41,898 --> 00:24:44,025 made of chocolate for my glorious leader, please. 425 00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:45,067 Okay. 426 00:24:45,151 --> 00:24:47,195 Can you put, um... 427 00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,946 -message on it, please? -By the-- Yes, sir. 428 00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:50,865 What would you like on this? 429 00:24:50,948 --> 00:24:52,033 Um... 430 00:24:52,116 --> 00:24:54,368 "Jews... 431 00:24:54,452 --> 00:24:57,413 will not replace us." 432 00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,665 Okay. 433 00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:06,214 And maybe smiley face underneath. 434 00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:08,299 -Okay. -To put him in a good mood. 435 00:25:10,092 --> 00:25:12,470 -Thank you. -You’re welcome. 436 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:15,223 -If we could pack that up, please. Thank you. -Yes. 437 00:25:15,306 --> 00:25:17,141 Is there anything else I can help you with? 438 00:25:17,225 --> 00:25:18,893 -This is enough. Thank you very much. -You sure? 439 00:25:18,976 --> 00:25:20,311 -Yes, that’s it. -Okay, thank you. 440 00:25:20,394 --> 00:25:22,813 I want to have a cake too. 441 00:25:22,897 --> 00:25:24,607 No. Daughters are not allowed to have cake. 442 00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:26,817 Please! Please! Please! 443 00:25:26,901 --> 00:25:28,778 It is illegal to give you treat. 444 00:25:28,861 --> 00:25:30,529 Teenagers. 445 00:25:30,613 --> 00:25:33,157 Please, give it to me, Daddy! Give it to me! 446 00:25:33,241 --> 00:25:34,867 Give it to me! Give it to me! 447 00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,328 - Okay, choose cake, choose cake. - A new one? Okay. 448 00:25:40,539 --> 00:25:42,291 You want to pick it out? 449 00:25:42,375 --> 00:25:44,252 I will regret this. 450 00:25:44,335 --> 00:25:46,921 I want this one with the baby on it. - Okay. 451 00:25:47,004 --> 00:25:48,464 It have a lot of cream. 452 00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:54,011 This is our little secret. 453 00:25:54,095 --> 00:25:55,388 No, no, no. 454 00:25:55,471 --> 00:25:58,557 I do not want the authorities to see. 455 00:25:58,641 --> 00:26:01,185 Ooo! I can’t wait to eat this! 456 00:26:01,269 --> 00:26:02,561 Hide back here. 457 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:05,022 Ready. 458 00:26:05,106 --> 00:26:06,482 Okay, slow down! 459 00:26:06,565 --> 00:26:07,858 But it’s so good! 460 00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:10,278 I know, but go slower, slower! 461 00:26:14,448 --> 00:26:16,325 Are you ok? 462 00:26:16,409 --> 00:26:18,577 I swallowed the baby. 463 00:26:19,287 --> 00:26:20,621 Are you serious? 464 00:26:20,705 --> 00:26:21,831 I swallowed the baby. 465 00:26:21,914 --> 00:26:23,958 You’re not supposed to eat the baby! 466 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:28,713 Hurry, come with me! 467 00:26:28,796 --> 00:26:30,673 We must get you to a doctor! 468 00:26:33,592 --> 00:26:35,886 - I have a baby inside me. - Mm-hmm. 469 00:26:35,970 --> 00:26:38,306 And I want to take it out of me. 470 00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:42,643 Right. 471 00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,312 She want it out now, please. 472 00:26:44,395 --> 00:26:45,896 -Right, I... -Can you take it out? 473 00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:47,231 No, we cannot. 474 00:26:47,315 --> 00:26:49,317 -That’s not what we do here. -And why not? 475 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,569 -What you say, "take it out..." -Yes. 476 00:26:51,652 --> 00:26:52,903 You end that life. 477 00:26:52,987 --> 00:26:54,864 That-that life will die. 478 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:56,324 Well, it already dead. It not living. 479 00:26:56,407 --> 00:26:58,242 No, it is living right now. It has a heart... 480 00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:00,870 -No, it this big. -It has a heartbeat right now. 481 00:27:00,953 --> 00:27:02,038 I don’t think so. 482 00:27:02,121 --> 00:27:03,539 It is a living, 483 00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:06,000 breathing life that God has created. 484 00:27:06,083 --> 00:27:07,585 I don’t think he’s breathing. 485 00:27:07,668 --> 00:27:10,504 We can show you that it’s breathing. 486 00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:12,673 It hurt my stomach. 487 00:27:12,757 --> 00:27:15,259 And it will hurt my asshole. 488 00:27:15,343 --> 00:27:17,386 If it come out, 489 00:27:17,470 --> 00:27:20,056 yes, because the-the arm, 490 00:27:20,139 --> 00:27:22,516 the arm like this. 491 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:25,102 -It can tear it. -Right. 492 00:27:25,186 --> 00:27:30,316 I feel bad because I was the one who put the baby in her. 493 00:27:30,399 --> 00:27:31,901 You don’t need to feel bad. 494 00:27:31,984 --> 00:27:34,653 I was just trying to give my daughter pleasure, 495 00:27:34,737 --> 00:27:37,156 and next thing I know, there is a baby inside her. 496 00:27:38,574 --> 00:27:41,285 -You keep calling her your daughter. -Yes. 497 00:27:41,369 --> 00:27:42,787 Okay. 498 00:27:42,870 --> 00:27:45,498 -Is he your father? -Yes. 499 00:27:45,581 --> 00:27:46,624 - This is your daughter? - Yes. 500 00:27:46,707 --> 00:27:48,876 -Yes. -Okay. 501 00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:52,671 I wanted to give my daughter a treat... 502 00:27:52,755 --> 00:27:54,382 I understand. I... I don’t need to hear any... 503 00:27:54,465 --> 00:27:56,675 -And she was... -I don’t need to hear any more of that. 504 00:27:56,759 --> 00:27:58,761 -I understand... -She just had to... 505 00:27:58,844 --> 00:28:00,304 ...that-that she is... 506 00:28:00,388 --> 00:28:01,972 -But look at that face. -I understand. 507 00:28:02,056 --> 00:28:03,849 -How could I not give it to her? -I understand. 508 00:28:03,933 --> 00:28:05,601 -Would you have not give it to her? -I understand. 509 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:07,353 Listen, uh, it really... 510 00:28:07,436 --> 00:28:10,606 That is not important right now. 511 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:12,191 We’re at this moment. 512 00:28:12,274 --> 00:28:15,111 It really doesn’t matter how we got to this moment. 513 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:18,489 When he treat me, he said, "This will be our little secret." 514 00:28:18,572 --> 00:28:21,659 Yes, this is why I do it here behind a dumpster, 515 00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,495 so no... no one can see. 516 00:28:24,578 --> 00:28:27,331 Now that you know that I am her father, 517 00:28:27,415 --> 00:28:29,375 can we take it out now, please? 518 00:28:29,458 --> 00:28:31,836 God is the one who creates life. 519 00:28:31,919 --> 00:28:34,422 And God doesn’t make accidents. 520 00:28:37,633 --> 00:28:40,261 - Push! - Oh, it hurt! 521 00:28:40,344 --> 00:28:42,471 - Hurt! - Push out the baby! 522 00:28:45,141 --> 00:28:47,643 - Push it out. - Ooh, it hurt! 523 00:28:47,726 --> 00:28:48,978 Push... 524 00:28:49,061 --> 00:28:50,438 The baby, it out. 525 00:28:50,521 --> 00:28:51,814 Okay, flush it down. 526 00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:54,483 But the Jesus people said we have to keep it. 527 00:28:54,567 --> 00:28:56,444 It disgusting. It smell retched. 528 00:28:56,527 --> 00:28:58,112 Flush the baby away! 529 00:28:58,195 --> 00:28:59,280 I’m keeping it. 530 00:28:59,363 --> 00:29:01,157 Okay, okay. 531 00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:05,703 Ah, she want to keep the baby. 532 00:29:05,786 --> 00:29:07,663 You know what it’s like. 533 00:29:10,249 --> 00:29:11,876 Tutar... 534 00:29:11,959 --> 00:29:15,838 Your makeover is complete... I think you are ready for Pence. 535 00:29:15,921 --> 00:29:18,007 - Really? - Mm. 536 00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:21,093 But to be sure, let’s have a practice run tonight. 537 00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:22,887 Cinderella... 538 00:29:22,970 --> 00:29:24,847 it’s time... 539 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:26,682 to go to a ball. 540 00:29:35,941 --> 00:29:37,401 Before the ball, 541 00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:40,488 I would meet with fancy lady who would help me 542 00:29:40,571 --> 00:29:43,407 introduce my daughter to high societies. 543 00:29:43,491 --> 00:29:45,534 Hi. How are you today? 544 00:29:45,618 --> 00:29:47,620 Good. Uh, Cliff. Cliff Safari. 545 00:29:47,703 --> 00:29:49,914 And my name is Dr. Jeanie. 546 00:29:49,997 --> 00:29:52,124 So nice to meet you today. 547 00:29:52,208 --> 00:29:54,835 My daughter, Miss Ellie, I need to get her 548 00:29:54,919 --> 00:29:57,713 ready for ball. 549 00:29:57,796 --> 00:29:59,798 So the thing about it is 550 00:29:59,882 --> 00:30:03,052 we want to get your daughter all prepared 551 00:30:03,135 --> 00:30:06,722 by showing her the right kinds of things to do. 552 00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:07,932 Hell yeah! 553 00:30:23,906 --> 00:30:26,116 Now let us present the debutantes. 554 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,495 Miss Mamie Henderson, daughter of Mr. Bill Henderson 555 00:30:29,578 --> 00:30:31,163 and Laura Schofield. 556 00:30:31,247 --> 00:30:33,791 She is presented by her father. 557 00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:35,834 Daddy, you need to hold my arm, 558 00:30:35,918 --> 00:30:38,712 so they think we’re American. 559 00:30:38,796 --> 00:30:41,215 Okay... just this once. 560 00:30:41,298 --> 00:30:44,510 Sandra Jessica Parker Drummond 561 00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:49,640 and her father, Professor Phillip Drummond III. 562 00:30:49,723 --> 00:30:52,643 Miss Drummond is attending Grand Canyon University 563 00:30:52,726 --> 00:30:55,145 where she is double majoring in cage maintenance 564 00:30:55,229 --> 00:30:58,732 and electronics with a focus on VCR repair. 565 00:31:00,693 --> 00:31:03,571 When I at the ball, is it sufficient 566 00:31:03,654 --> 00:31:07,449 to make little braggings about little missy? 567 00:31:07,533 --> 00:31:09,243 Maybe, yes. 568 00:31:09,326 --> 00:31:10,536 And you know what? 569 00:31:10,619 --> 00:31:15,082 You have to do it very, let’s say... 570 00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:16,584 graciously. 571 00:31:16,667 --> 00:31:18,711 -That’s your daughter? -Yeah. 572 00:31:18,794 --> 00:31:22,214 -That’s what we love in the South. -Yeah. 573 00:31:22,298 --> 00:31:24,216 -Pretty girls. -Yeah. 574 00:31:24,300 --> 00:31:27,720 Okay. It’s-it’s... They’re fun. 575 00:31:27,803 --> 00:31:31,890 How much you think my daughter is worth? 576 00:31:32,808 --> 00:31:33,976 Five hundred dollars. 577 00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:35,519 Ooh, thank you. 578 00:31:35,603 --> 00:31:38,981 You my best friend, buddy. 579 00:31:40,983 --> 00:31:44,069 -It’s all a... -That’s fucking gross. 580 00:31:44,153 --> 00:31:47,364 My daughter have her moon blood arrive. 581 00:31:47,448 --> 00:31:50,242 Can she still go to a ball? 582 00:31:50,326 --> 00:31:51,744 Ah, good, so she... 583 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:54,622 We’re able to do a lot of things even though 584 00:31:54,705 --> 00:31:58,917 we have womanly things that we go through every... 585 00:31:59,001 --> 00:32:01,211 moon time you’re talking about. 586 00:32:11,722 --> 00:32:15,517 We’d now like to invite Sandra Jessica Parker Drummond 587 00:32:15,601 --> 00:32:20,564 and her father, Professor Phillip Drummond III, 588 00:32:20,648 --> 00:32:22,441 for our traditional father/daughter dance. 589 00:32:22,524 --> 00:32:25,277 It’s my moon blood. 590 00:32:25,361 --> 00:32:26,820 It started? 591 00:32:26,904 --> 00:32:29,156 Yes. 592 00:32:29,239 --> 00:32:31,241 Fantastic! 593 00:32:31,325 --> 00:32:33,202 Now we can wow them... 594 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:36,622 with our traditional fertility dance! 595 00:32:39,583 --> 00:32:43,754 Um, can you play... 596 00:34:03,625 --> 00:34:07,337 I will never get to live in a golden cage like Melania! 597 00:34:10,841 --> 00:34:13,218 Why do American men hate me? 598 00:34:39,995 --> 00:34:40,996 Come in. 599 00:34:42,706 --> 00:34:44,208 Really? 600 00:34:44,291 --> 00:34:45,834 Do you mean it, Daddy? 601 00:34:50,380 --> 00:34:54,468 - Thank you so much, Daddy. - Okay. 602 00:35:30,379 --> 00:35:31,755 Tutar! 603 00:35:32,464 --> 00:35:35,050 I’ve got great news! 604 00:35:35,759 --> 00:35:38,136 Pence is speaking nearby. 605 00:35:38,220 --> 00:35:39,888 We’ll gift you today. 606 00:35:39,972 --> 00:35:42,975 -But I am not ready yet. -Of course you’re ready! 607 00:35:43,058 --> 00:35:45,018 You are ready for the golden cage! 608 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:47,187 Okay, Daddy! 609 00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:57,281 Finally the time had come to deliver my daughter 610 00:35:57,364 --> 00:35:59,324 to the vice pussy-grabber. 611 00:35:59,408 --> 00:36:01,118 But how would I slip in 612 00:36:01,201 --> 00:36:04,705 to this conference of Republicans unnoticed? 613 00:36:04,788 --> 00:36:07,374 Suddenly, I had an idea. 614 00:36:11,003 --> 00:36:13,589 I’m Stephen Miller. Sorry I’m late. 615 00:36:26,727 --> 00:36:29,021 I needed to get Tutar to Pence, 616 00:36:29,104 --> 00:36:31,857 the only man that Trump would trust. 617 00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:35,360 But who does Pence trust? 618 00:36:35,444 --> 00:36:38,363 I knew the disguise I had to use. 619 00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:48,332 Tutar, it’s me. 620 00:36:48,415 --> 00:36:50,667 Hop on! We are running late. 621 00:36:53,295 --> 00:36:55,589 I know you’re ready to demonstrate how much 622 00:36:55,672 --> 00:36:59,051 you appreciate everything he does for our country. 623 00:36:59,134 --> 00:37:01,720 And it’s my honor to introduce to you 624 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:03,138 the vice president of the United States, 625 00:37:03,221 --> 00:37:05,641 Michael R. Pence. 626 00:37:24,409 --> 00:37:26,703 As of today, 627 00:37:26,787 --> 00:37:28,372 we have 15 cases of coronavirus 628 00:37:28,455 --> 00:37:30,707 that have been detected in the United States 629 00:37:30,791 --> 00:37:34,711 with only one new case detected in the last two weeks. 630 00:37:36,588 --> 00:37:38,715 And while the risk to the American public 631 00:37:38,799 --> 00:37:43,512 remains low, as the president said yesterday, 632 00:37:43,595 --> 00:37:46,723 "We’re ready. We’re ready for anything." 633 00:37:51,853 --> 00:37:54,147 - It’s actually on the verge... - Michael Pen-is! 634 00:37:54,231 --> 00:37:56,566 Michael Pen-is! I brought a girl for you! 635 00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:59,403 Don’t worry, I won’t get jealous! 636 00:37:59,486 --> 00:38:00,821 She not Ivanka. 637 00:38:00,904 --> 00:38:02,197 Get out! 638 00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:05,242 Pussy Hound Pen-is! 639 00:38:05,325 --> 00:38:07,077 You just hit me, man. You just hit me. 640 00:38:07,160 --> 00:38:08,912 Don’t punch me. 641 00:38:08,996 --> 00:38:10,497 Mike, help me! 642 00:38:12,082 --> 00:38:13,959 Mike, you’re fired! 643 00:38:14,042 --> 00:38:15,460 Four more years! 644 00:38:15,544 --> 00:38:18,171 Four more years! Four more years! 645 00:38:18,255 --> 00:38:19,548 Four more years! 646 00:38:19,631 --> 00:38:21,341 Four more years! 647 00:38:21,425 --> 00:38:23,427 - A hundred more years! - Four more years! 648 00:38:23,510 --> 00:38:25,637 If you release me, I’ll give you my Klan robes. 649 00:38:25,721 --> 00:38:27,597 -Don’t stop. Keep moving. -How about my wig? 650 00:38:27,681 --> 00:38:29,307 Don’t stop. Keep moving. 651 00:38:29,391 --> 00:38:34,062 The United States Senate cleared our president on all... 652 00:38:39,651 --> 00:38:42,279 Please make faxy-meal of this. 653 00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:46,324 "Premier Nazarbayev, I have unfortunate news. 654 00:38:46,408 --> 00:38:51,371 "Michael Pence did not accept her as a gift. 655 00:38:51,455 --> 00:38:53,790 Yours, Borat." 656 00:38:53,874 --> 00:38:56,543 -And then put sad face. -"Sad face." 657 00:38:56,626 --> 00:38:59,087 Okay. 658 00:39:02,632 --> 00:39:05,761 "Return immediately to die in excruciating pain. 659 00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:09,306 "You will be tied to two cows who will face Uzbeks 660 00:39:09,389 --> 00:39:11,433 "with turnips inserted in their assholes. 661 00:39:11,516 --> 00:39:16,688 "Uzbeks will be enticed away with money and cows will follow 662 00:39:16,772 --> 00:39:19,941 to eat turnips, ripping you apart." 663 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:32,996 What’s the matter, Daddy? 664 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,706 Nothing. 665 00:39:34,790 --> 00:39:37,667 Will they hurt you? 666 00:39:38,668 --> 00:39:41,463 Of course not. 667 00:39:43,298 --> 00:39:46,301 Could I be a gift to this friend of Trump instead? 668 00:39:46,384 --> 00:39:48,720 No, he’s in jail. 669 00:39:48,804 --> 00:39:49,679 What about this one? 670 00:39:49,763 --> 00:39:51,765 In jail too. 671 00:39:51,848 --> 00:39:52,766 Him? 672 00:39:53,558 --> 00:39:54,434 Arrested. 673 00:39:54,518 --> 00:39:55,352 Him? 674 00:39:55,435 --> 00:39:57,229 House arrest. 675 00:39:57,312 --> 00:40:01,358 What about Rudolph Giuliani? 676 00:40:15,288 --> 00:40:16,790 What he say? 677 00:40:16,873 --> 00:40:19,126 "If you can deliver her to Rudy, 678 00:40:19,209 --> 00:40:20,627 you will live." 679 00:40:22,254 --> 00:40:24,214 High five! 680 00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:26,591 -You’re not gonna be killed. -I love you. 681 00:40:35,934 --> 00:40:39,354 Donald Trump is a man with a big heart who loves people-- 682 00:40:39,437 --> 00:40:40,939 all people, 683 00:40:41,022 --> 00:40:45,193 from the top to the bottom, from the middle to the side! 684 00:40:45,277 --> 00:40:48,697 Rudolph was McDonald’s best buddy in whole world, 685 00:40:48,780 --> 00:40:53,743 and also very dignified statesman of the highest order. 686 00:40:53,827 --> 00:40:55,412 You don’t know what you’re talking about, idiot. 687 00:40:55,495 --> 00:40:57,914 -Shut up, moron. Shut up. -Rudy. Rudy. Okay. 688 00:40:57,998 --> 00:40:59,958 This would not be easy. 689 00:41:00,041 --> 00:41:03,211 Luckily, I discover his preference for womens 690 00:41:03,295 --> 00:41:06,882 with ample cheese-producing capacity. 691 00:41:06,965 --> 00:41:10,093 I take my daughter to man who can help. 692 00:41:12,846 --> 00:41:14,389 After me. 693 00:41:16,016 --> 00:41:17,559 I want very much 694 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:21,855 her to be attract to... top-level guy. 695 00:41:21,938 --> 00:41:25,859 Well, what I would suggest is that we do some simple things. 696 00:41:25,942 --> 00:41:29,613 Like a little r-refinement of the nose. 697 00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,990 What’s wrong with my nose? 698 00:41:32,073 --> 00:41:33,950 Do I look like a Jew? 699 00:41:34,034 --> 00:41:35,827 No, ma’am. Not at all. 700 00:41:37,913 --> 00:41:39,956 -Oh, that... -Because a Jew... 701 00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,958 -Yeah, she was, uh, very sad. -A Jew... 702 00:41:42,042 --> 00:41:43,668 A Jew would be like this. 703 00:41:43,752 --> 00:41:45,879 Jew nose more out, 704 00:41:45,962 --> 00:41:49,633 out a bit more, down here, 705 00:41:49,716 --> 00:41:51,551 then down a bit here, 706 00:41:51,635 --> 00:41:53,553 bump, bump, in. 707 00:41:53,637 --> 00:41:55,513 It can be that bad, yes. 708 00:41:55,597 --> 00:41:57,057 Then, if you like, 709 00:41:57,140 --> 00:41:59,184 what I would suggest 710 00:41:59,267 --> 00:42:01,436 is that maybe we put some breast implants. 711 00:42:01,519 --> 00:42:02,562 And what it mean, "breast"? 712 00:42:02,646 --> 00:42:04,522 The-the breast. Titty. 713 00:42:04,606 --> 00:42:05,523 Titty? 714 00:42:05,607 --> 00:42:06,942 -Titty. -Titty? 715 00:42:07,025 --> 00:42:07,943 Titty. 716 00:42:08,026 --> 00:42:09,110 -Titty? -Titty. 717 00:42:09,194 --> 00:42:11,613 -Titty. -Or breast. 718 00:42:11,696 --> 00:42:14,991 I want a man who wants to make a sex attack on me. 719 00:42:17,285 --> 00:42:19,496 I think that would be most men. 720 00:42:19,579 --> 00:42:21,831 Would you make a sex attack with me? 721 00:42:25,210 --> 00:42:27,045 if your father was not here. 722 00:42:27,128 --> 00:42:30,757 Ooh. 723 00:42:31,758 --> 00:42:34,469 - Hello. - Hello. 724 00:42:34,552 --> 00:42:39,015 So, altogether, the total is $21,751. 725 00:42:39,099 --> 00:42:41,309 How much? 726 00:42:41,393 --> 00:42:44,229 $21,751. 727 00:42:44,312 --> 00:42:47,107 -Tenge or dollar? -Dollars. 728 00:42:48,608 --> 00:42:49,734 Okay. 729 00:42:49,818 --> 00:42:53,321 -With the, uh, saline implant... -Yes? 730 00:42:53,405 --> 00:42:57,575 Um, could you take off some money if instead, uh, 731 00:42:57,659 --> 00:42:59,703 you use potatoes? 732 00:42:59,786 --> 00:43:01,997 -Uh, we cannot use potatoes. -Why not? 733 00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,374 Because potatoes aren’t sterile. 734 00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:05,917 This a very good potato. 735 00:43:06,001 --> 00:43:07,877 But you cannot take a potato 736 00:43:07,961 --> 00:43:10,088 -and put it in the body. -Expensive one. 737 00:43:10,171 --> 00:43:13,550 What if we allow, uh, perverts in to watch the surgery? 738 00:43:13,633 --> 00:43:15,051 Can we have reduction? 739 00:43:15,135 --> 00:43:17,512 You can keep the money that they pay you. 740 00:43:17,595 --> 00:43:19,097 Uh, absolutely not. 741 00:43:19,180 --> 00:43:21,808 The more people you bring in, the more germs come in. 742 00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:23,476 You cannot do that. 743 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,688 The perverts have to be medical personnel. 744 00:43:26,771 --> 00:43:29,441 They have to be either a doctor or a nurse. 745 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:31,484 I want to make sure that, uh, 746 00:43:31,568 --> 00:43:33,987 the man I give her to is very happy 747 00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:37,032 -and will not return her. -Okay. 748 00:43:37,115 --> 00:43:39,451 So the quality must be tip-top. Will it be? 749 00:43:39,534 --> 00:43:40,660 It will be tip-top. 750 00:43:40,744 --> 00:43:42,454 It’ll be more than tip-top. 751 00:43:42,537 --> 00:43:45,457 -Are you able to pay this amount? Yes? -Yes, I have. 752 00:43:46,624 --> 00:43:48,126 Okay. Thank you. 753 00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:50,128 One, two, 754 00:43:50,211 --> 00:43:52,756 three, four, five, six, seven... 755 00:43:52,839 --> 00:43:54,132 Ooh. 756 00:43:54,215 --> 00:43:56,676 That’s a lot of money, but worth it. 757 00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,929 So after you give me as a gift... 758 00:44:00,013 --> 00:44:02,557 ...you will leave me? 759 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:03,892 Of course. 760 00:44:03,975 --> 00:44:07,645 I will go home and you will have new owner. 761 00:44:08,688 --> 00:44:11,608 So I will never see you again? 762 00:44:12,942 --> 00:44:16,613 You expected me to come live with you both? 763 00:44:18,281 --> 00:44:20,700 No...of course not. 764 00:44:23,536 --> 00:44:26,748 The manual would forbid it. 765 00:44:39,260 --> 00:44:41,471 You have, uh, sufficient? 766 00:44:41,554 --> 00:44:44,432 Uh, no, I’m short $72. 767 00:44:44,516 --> 00:44:46,226 And if we do not get to this, 768 00:44:46,309 --> 00:44:49,479 -you cannot make the surgery anyway? -Right. 769 00:44:49,562 --> 00:44:51,981 And the surgery will start at 6:00 p.m. 770 00:44:52,065 --> 00:44:55,860 I only have 24 hours to get you $72? 771 00:44:55,944 --> 00:44:57,612 Well, yes. 772 00:44:58,655 --> 00:45:00,657 We better get to work. 773 00:45:00,740 --> 00:45:03,993 To pay for new chests, I would need employment. 774 00:45:04,077 --> 00:45:05,787 So, next day, 775 00:45:05,870 --> 00:45:08,289 I leave my daughter with babysitter. - 776 00:45:08,373 --> 00:45:09,833 Hello. 777 00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:12,293 Uh, what your name? 778 00:45:12,377 --> 00:45:14,504 -Jeanise. -Jeanise. Nice meet you. 779 00:45:14,587 --> 00:45:16,423 Nice meeting you. 780 00:45:24,180 --> 00:45:26,266 So what is that, like, a treat? 781 00:45:27,350 --> 00:45:28,560 Treat, uh, yeah. 782 00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:32,730 Uh, when she perform a command correctly, 783 00:45:32,814 --> 00:45:34,983 click, you give her a treat. 784 00:45:35,066 --> 00:45:38,653 Um... Oh. Okay. 785 00:45:38,736 --> 00:45:40,572 This is her ball. 786 00:45:40,655 --> 00:45:43,283 Um, it make her feel safe. 787 00:45:44,993 --> 00:45:48,246 Uh, for water, uh, please use this. 788 00:45:48,329 --> 00:45:51,207 Uh, we drink water out of a glass. 789 00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:52,750 Uh, the strings in her brain 790 00:45:52,834 --> 00:45:55,211 might break if you try to teach her, 791 00:45:55,295 --> 00:45:56,921 so be careful, please. 792 00:45:57,005 --> 00:45:59,382 You said it’s her strings in her brain might break? 793 00:45:59,466 --> 00:46:01,718 They can be strain and sometimes pop. 794 00:46:01,801 --> 00:46:03,845 One of them already... 795 00:46:03,928 --> 00:46:06,890 she saw something and, uh, it was complicate for her, 796 00:46:06,973 --> 00:46:09,726 and I hear the noise. "Ding." 797 00:46:09,809 --> 00:46:12,395 Oh, my God. Really. 798 00:46:12,479 --> 00:46:13,605 See you later. 799 00:46:13,688 --> 00:46:15,482 Don’t leave me here. 800 00:46:15,565 --> 00:46:17,650 See you later at the titty doctor. 801 00:46:19,152 --> 00:46:20,904 All right. 802 00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:23,823 The mutilations would commence in five hours. 803 00:46:23,907 --> 00:46:27,535 Luckily, I get hired for job. 804 00:46:27,619 --> 00:46:29,370 What would you like? I can, um... 805 00:46:29,454 --> 00:46:30,663 take it all off? 806 00:46:30,747 --> 00:46:32,499 Keep it where it’s, you know... 807 00:46:32,582 --> 00:46:34,125 Above the ears is fine. 808 00:46:38,505 --> 00:46:40,256 -Want me shave your arms? -No. 809 00:46:40,340 --> 00:46:43,092 -No? -No. You’re not gonna shave my hair off, are you? 810 00:46:43,176 --> 00:46:44,969 -No, no, no. -Okay. 811 00:46:45,053 --> 00:46:48,640 Uh, I am good, though. I have done, um... 812 00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,852 But you do mostly animals, though, right? 813 00:46:52,936 --> 00:46:54,521 Uh, no. 814 00:46:54,604 --> 00:46:58,358 Uh, this, uh, Billy Sexcrime before they remove his chram. 815 00:46:58,441 --> 00:47:00,485 I remove his pubis. I was given honor. 816 00:47:00,568 --> 00:47:02,195 Oh, that’s great. 817 00:47:05,323 --> 00:47:07,367 To your satisfaction, sir? 818 00:47:10,662 --> 00:47:12,163 That’s fine. 819 00:47:14,958 --> 00:47:16,668 That’s fine. 820 00:47:22,757 --> 00:47:24,300 That’s fine. 821 00:47:24,384 --> 00:47:27,178 What’s in the book? 822 00:47:27,262 --> 00:47:29,138 This is our book. 823 00:47:29,222 --> 00:47:30,974 Can I read you a story? 824 00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:33,518 -You can’t read. -I can read. 825 00:47:33,601 --> 00:47:35,728 -Are you a man? -No, I’m not a man. 826 00:47:35,812 --> 00:47:37,355 Show me your putka. 827 00:47:37,438 --> 00:47:40,984 I’m not showing you anything. But I’m a woman. 828 00:47:43,194 --> 00:47:47,699 This... is my favorite. 829 00:47:47,782 --> 00:47:50,243 "The true story of Nada..." 830 00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:52,870 -Nadia Akatov. -Okay. 831 00:47:52,954 --> 00:47:55,373 "...who once caught a terrible disease 832 00:47:55,456 --> 00:47:57,417 "called curiosity. 833 00:48:00,753 --> 00:48:03,339 "It cause her one night to 834 00:48:03,423 --> 00:48:06,718 touch her... vagine?" 835 00:48:10,471 --> 00:48:13,099 "Her vagine became very angry... 836 00:48:14,726 --> 00:48:16,603 ...and bit her hand." 837 00:48:16,686 --> 00:48:18,730 -You okay? -Yes. 838 00:48:18,813 --> 00:48:20,231 -It’s just a story? -Yes. 839 00:48:20,315 --> 00:48:22,275 -You want me to... -But it’s a true story. 840 00:48:22,358 --> 00:48:24,527 -It’s a true story? -Yes. 841 00:48:24,611 --> 00:48:28,740 "Then suck all of her insides... 842 00:48:30,283 --> 00:48:33,202 ...where she remains to this day." 843 00:48:33,286 --> 00:48:34,579 Yes. 844 00:48:34,662 --> 00:48:36,831 This is not a true story. 845 00:48:36,914 --> 00:48:39,250 -Okay? -It is a true story. 846 00:48:39,334 --> 00:48:40,918 No, no, it’s not a true story. 847 00:48:41,002 --> 00:48:43,630 Your vagine cannot bite. 848 00:48:43,713 --> 00:48:46,883 It cannot suck your arms to a ball. 849 00:48:46,966 --> 00:48:48,343 It can’t do that. 850 00:48:48,426 --> 00:48:50,136 But my tatti told me that. 851 00:48:50,219 --> 00:48:52,180 -Okay. -He tell me the truth. 852 00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:54,474 I mean, I understand what you’re saying, 853 00:48:54,557 --> 00:48:57,226 -that your daddy told you that. -Yes. 854 00:48:57,310 --> 00:48:58,853 But that’s not the real world. 855 00:48:58,936 --> 00:49:01,606 -Are you touch your vagine? -Who, me? 856 00:49:01,689 --> 00:49:03,691 -Yes. -Have I ever touched it? 857 00:49:03,775 --> 00:49:05,151 -Yes. -Yes. 858 00:49:05,234 --> 00:49:07,153 -No. -Yes. 859 00:49:07,236 --> 00:49:09,697 -You can’t touch your... -And I-- Yes, and I’m here. 860 00:49:09,781 --> 00:49:12,700 Didn’t n-nothing ate me up. 861 00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,285 See, I’m here. 862 00:49:14,369 --> 00:49:15,870 You ready? 863 00:49:17,330 --> 00:49:18,539 What are you doing? 864 00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,041 We’re driving. 865 00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,292 Women can drive. 866 00:49:21,376 --> 00:49:23,127 Don’t cry. 867 00:49:23,211 --> 00:49:25,129 Don’t cry. Don’t cry. 868 00:49:25,213 --> 00:49:26,631 -It’s okay. -You can’t drive! 869 00:49:26,714 --> 00:49:27,965 You can’t drive! 870 00:49:28,049 --> 00:49:29,217 -I can drive. I can. -You can’t drive! 871 00:49:29,300 --> 00:49:30,760 -It’s impossible woman to drive! -No, no. 872 00:49:30,843 --> 00:49:32,220 -This is... -No, no, no! 873 00:49:32,303 --> 00:49:34,555 -You are a man dressed like a woman. -No. No. 874 00:49:34,639 --> 00:49:36,140 Help me! 875 00:49:36,224 --> 00:49:38,476 It’s a woman driving the car! 876 00:49:41,104 --> 00:49:42,313 May I? 877 00:49:46,359 --> 00:49:47,527 Thank you. 878 00:49:50,029 --> 00:49:53,032 Great success! I had the money. 879 00:49:53,116 --> 00:49:58,329 It was time for the surgeon to insert Tutar’s potatoes. 880 00:50:01,124 --> 00:50:03,167 Did you have a good time? 881 00:50:03,251 --> 00:50:06,129 -Yes. -I’m glad. 882 00:50:06,212 --> 00:50:08,214 What you finna do? 883 00:50:08,297 --> 00:50:10,091 I will get the surgery so my daddy 884 00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:14,846 can give me as a present for this American man. 885 00:50:14,929 --> 00:50:16,723 What kind of surgery? 886 00:50:16,806 --> 00:50:21,060 I will have the biggest titties in the whole world. 887 00:50:21,144 --> 00:50:24,689 Okay, so you’re getting plastic surgery at 15. 888 00:50:24,772 --> 00:50:26,274 Yes. 889 00:50:26,357 --> 00:50:28,651 -When you getting that done? -Now. 890 00:50:28,735 --> 00:50:30,778 -Now? -Yes. 891 00:50:30,862 --> 00:50:33,865 Well, do you want that? 892 00:50:35,158 --> 00:50:36,743 Seriously. 893 00:50:38,286 --> 00:50:40,747 No, you don’t, ’cause you would’ve said yes. 894 00:50:40,830 --> 00:50:41,998 I excite. 895 00:50:42,081 --> 00:50:44,417 You excite, but that’s not what you want. 896 00:50:44,500 --> 00:50:47,170 Okay, I don’t think you need to do that. 897 00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,089 ’Cause you’re pretty and you’re young. 898 00:50:50,173 --> 00:50:55,011 And any man should like you as you are. 899 00:50:55,094 --> 00:50:59,015 You shouldn’t want to be anybody else but yourself. 900 00:50:59,098 --> 00:51:01,601 But if I have enormous titties, 901 00:51:01,684 --> 00:51:04,312 I don’t have to learn how to swim. 902 00:51:04,395 --> 00:51:07,148 Your-your titties will not keep you from drowning. 903 00:51:07,231 --> 00:51:09,776 You will still have to learn how to swim. 904 00:51:09,859 --> 00:51:11,694 They will protect me. 905 00:51:11,778 --> 00:51:15,114 How will they protect you? They titties. 906 00:51:15,198 --> 00:51:18,242 Titties are not gonna keep you out the water. 907 00:51:18,326 --> 00:51:22,038 You are pretty. You’re a pretty-- 908 00:51:22,121 --> 00:51:23,581 Girl, look at yourself. 909 00:51:23,664 --> 00:51:25,625 Look. Look. 910 00:51:25,708 --> 00:51:28,711 You see yourself? 911 00:51:32,465 --> 00:51:34,300 Yes, you are beautiful. 912 00:51:34,383 --> 00:51:37,512 So I don’t see anything on your body or on your face 913 00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:38,971 that need to change. 914 00:51:39,055 --> 00:51:40,973 I want you to be happy. 915 00:51:41,057 --> 00:51:42,934 But I wish you would just think about 916 00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:44,560 some of the stuff I said. 917 00:51:44,644 --> 00:51:46,521 Think about going to school. 918 00:51:46,604 --> 00:51:50,358 Use your brain, ’cause your daddy is a liar, okay? 919 00:51:50,441 --> 00:51:54,070 My daddy’s the smartest person in the whole flat world. 920 00:51:56,489 --> 00:51:59,450 Mm, I can’t, I can’t say nothing about that, 921 00:51:59,534 --> 00:52:03,704 but you got a big brain up there, so use it. 922 00:52:03,788 --> 00:52:04,914 Just think. 923 00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:07,250 ’Cause I don’t think you need to change. 924 00:52:07,333 --> 00:52:09,418 I will think about it. 925 00:52:09,502 --> 00:52:11,087 Hey, that’s all I want. That’s all I want. 926 00:52:11,170 --> 00:52:12,630 I want you to think about it. 927 00:52:12,713 --> 00:52:15,341 That’s all I want for you, just to think about it. 928 00:52:37,822 --> 00:52:40,700 Another woman. 929 00:52:57,633 --> 00:52:59,594 - Adam Schiff. - Oh, my God. He’s so... 930 00:52:59,677 --> 00:53:01,012 What a loser. 931 00:53:05,516 --> 00:53:06,934 So what’s your name? 932 00:53:07,018 --> 00:53:08,060 I’m Tutar. 933 00:53:08,144 --> 00:53:09,020 -Really? -Nice to meet you, Tutar. 934 00:53:09,103 --> 00:53:10,479 Nice meet you. 935 00:53:10,563 --> 00:53:11,856 Do you drive a car? 936 00:53:11,939 --> 00:53:12,940 -Yes. -Oh, absolutely. 937 00:53:13,024 --> 00:53:14,442 -Sure. -More than one. 938 00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:15,943 -More than one. -Well, not at the same time. 939 00:53:16,027 --> 00:53:18,821 -What?! -We drive a car. We own cars. 940 00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,825 So the mans sometimes tell lies? 941 00:53:22,909 --> 00:53:25,536 Yes. A-A lot. 942 00:54:11,707 --> 00:54:15,461 We-We’ve seen a dramatic drop 943 00:54:15,544 --> 00:54:18,047 in having children produced within wedlock. 944 00:54:18,130 --> 00:54:21,550 It’s a huge problem in our society. 945 00:54:21,634 --> 00:54:24,095 And I think part of that is the decline of Christianity 946 00:54:24,178 --> 00:54:25,888 in-in the United States. 947 00:54:25,972 --> 00:54:27,431 -Can I say something? -Uh... 948 00:54:27,515 --> 00:54:28,641 -Yes. -I want-- Yes. 949 00:54:28,724 --> 00:54:30,601 I want you to speak now. 950 00:54:30,685 --> 00:54:33,354 I’d love for you to speak now. 951 00:54:33,437 --> 00:54:35,439 -This important. -Yes. 952 00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:37,650 - Yeah, great. - Yes. 953 00:54:37,733 --> 00:54:39,986 Something really strange, something wonderful 954 00:54:40,069 --> 00:54:41,737 just happened to me. 955 00:54:41,821 --> 00:54:44,281 And... 956 00:54:45,574 --> 00:54:50,746 I go to the toilet, and I put my index finger... 957 00:54:52,123 --> 00:54:55,501 ...and my-my middle finger on my cunt. 958 00:54:55,584 --> 00:55:00,381 And I found out that I wasn’t sucked in 959 00:55:00,464 --> 00:55:03,259 and I wasn’t eaten. 960 00:55:03,342 --> 00:55:06,053 Womans, this place is amazing. 961 00:55:06,137 --> 00:55:08,389 - No teeth at all. - It has no what? 962 00:55:08,472 --> 00:55:09,473 No teeth. 963 00:55:09,557 --> 00:55:10,725 No teeth. 964 00:55:10,808 --> 00:55:12,893 It’s so nice, so warm. 965 00:55:12,977 --> 00:55:14,603 I will show you. 966 00:55:14,687 --> 00:55:17,481 You move this way, circle four time. 967 00:55:17,565 --> 00:55:20,943 Then you move up and down, and if it’s not working, 968 00:55:21,027 --> 00:55:23,654 you can use this part of your hand. 969 00:55:23,738 --> 00:55:28,242 And then you will feel something like an explosion, 970 00:55:28,325 --> 00:55:29,577 and then you will finish. 971 00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,370 Come on. 972 00:55:31,454 --> 00:55:33,748 Take your panties off, everyone, please. 973 00:55:33,831 --> 00:55:35,916 Do you touch your vagine? 974 00:55:36,000 --> 00:55:40,463 Uh, it’s something we don’t talk about in p-public. 975 00:55:40,546 --> 00:55:42,214 Because of the Nadia Akatov story? 976 00:55:42,298 --> 00:55:45,009 No, no, no, no. 977 00:55:45,092 --> 00:55:48,637 If that is a lie, what other lies my daddy tell me? 978 00:55:48,721 --> 00:55:51,265 So come with me. 979 00:55:51,348 --> 00:55:54,185 Come with me. Let’s run away from our daddies. 980 00:55:54,268 --> 00:55:56,812 Let’s go and put our hands together 981 00:55:56,896 --> 00:55:58,814 and touch our vagines. 982 00:55:58,898 --> 00:56:02,443 And we’re so glad you’re here. Thank you. 983 00:56:06,030 --> 00:56:08,282 Someone call her an Uber. 984 00:56:29,929 --> 00:56:31,430 Tutar! 985 00:56:33,516 --> 00:56:36,143 Tutar. Tutar. 986 00:56:37,436 --> 00:56:39,980 You went to the wrong address! 987 00:56:40,064 --> 00:56:41,899 It’s over there. 988 00:56:41,982 --> 00:56:43,359 -I did not. -Come on. 989 00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:44,902 It’s titty time. 990 00:56:44,985 --> 00:56:47,029 -No, I’m not doing it. -Why not? 991 00:56:47,113 --> 00:56:49,657 Because I’m beautiful as I am, 992 00:56:49,740 --> 00:56:51,784 and I don’t need to be given as a gift to a man 993 00:56:51,867 --> 00:56:52,952 to be worth something. 994 00:56:53,035 --> 00:56:54,787 Yes, you do. It says so in the book. 995 00:56:54,870 --> 00:56:57,331 The Nadia Akatov story is a lie. 996 00:56:57,414 --> 00:56:59,083 -Not a lie. It true. -It is a lie. 997 00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:01,585 -I did it. -What? 998 00:57:01,669 --> 00:57:04,296 How did you escape? Out of your asshole? 999 00:57:04,380 --> 00:57:07,675 No. And the rest of the book is also a lie. 1000 00:57:07,758 --> 00:57:10,886 Look there. It’s a woman driving a car. 1001 00:57:10,970 --> 00:57:13,722 That is not a woman. That is Dog the Bounty Hunter. 1002 00:57:15,349 --> 00:57:18,310 This manual is full of lies. 1003 00:57:18,394 --> 00:57:21,480 I found a new book which only tells the truth. 1004 00:57:21,564 --> 00:57:24,316 It’s called Facebook. 1005 00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:26,735 I learn so many facts there. 1006 00:57:26,819 --> 00:57:29,446 Like our nation’s proudest moment, 1007 00:57:29,530 --> 00:57:31,991 the Holocaust, never happened. 1008 00:57:32,074 --> 00:57:34,118 -How dare you say that? -Look. 1009 00:57:37,288 --> 00:57:38,747 No. 1010 00:57:40,166 --> 00:57:41,167 See? 1011 00:57:42,459 --> 00:57:44,753 -I’m leaving. -No, you don’t. 1012 00:57:44,837 --> 00:57:46,839 Wh-Who will lock your cage at night? 1013 00:57:46,922 --> 00:57:48,591 I can do anything a man can do. 1014 00:57:48,674 --> 00:57:50,968 -No, you cannot. -I can even become a journalist, 1015 00:57:51,051 --> 00:57:52,928 and probably a better one than you, 1016 00:57:53,012 --> 00:57:54,305 Borat Margaret Sagdiyev! 1017 00:57:54,388 --> 00:57:56,098 Who told you my middle name was Margaret?! 1018 00:57:56,182 --> 00:57:57,474 Everyone you know! 1019 00:57:57,558 --> 00:57:59,685 You will never understand anything! 1020 00:57:59,768 --> 00:58:01,061 I understand everything! 1021 00:58:01,145 --> 00:58:02,855 You want this book? 1022 00:58:02,938 --> 00:58:05,524 -Hey! -Take it. I hate it. 1023 00:58:05,608 --> 00:58:06,609 And I hate you. 1024 00:58:06,692 --> 00:58:08,652 And I will never see you again. 1025 00:58:08,736 --> 00:58:11,447 Oh, and by the way, I ate the monkey. 1026 00:58:11,530 --> 00:58:12,656 He didn’t eat himself. 1027 00:58:12,740 --> 00:58:14,200 You murderer! 1028 00:58:14,283 --> 00:58:15,951 He was a genius! 1029 00:58:16,035 --> 00:58:17,203 Go. 1030 00:58:19,622 --> 00:58:21,707 Come out now. One, two-- No, you don’t. 1031 00:58:21,790 --> 00:58:23,584 No! 1032 00:58:30,633 --> 00:58:32,343 Tutar! 1033 00:58:40,351 --> 00:58:43,729 My mission had fail, and I had learned that the Holocaust 1034 00:58:43,812 --> 00:58:45,856 was nothing but a fairy tale. 1035 00:58:45,940 --> 00:58:49,777 Rather than return to Kazakhstan to be execute, 1036 00:58:49,860 --> 00:58:51,779 I decide to take my own life. 1037 00:58:51,862 --> 00:58:55,157 Since I did not have money to buy a gun, 1038 00:58:55,241 --> 00:58:57,910 I went to the nearest synagogue 1039 00:58:57,993 --> 00:59:00,579 to wait for the next mass shooting, 1040 00:59:00,663 --> 00:59:03,249 disguised as a typical Jew. 1041 00:59:15,219 --> 00:59:17,554 - Hello. - Uh, Jang-shalom. 1042 00:59:17,638 --> 00:59:19,473 Are you Jew? 1043 00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:21,225 Yeah, I’m Jewish, yeah. 1044 00:59:21,308 --> 00:59:24,687 Very nice weather, uh, we have been controlling. 1045 00:59:24,770 --> 00:59:26,105 You are Jewish? 1046 00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:29,233 Um... y-yes. 1047 00:59:29,316 --> 00:59:31,235 No, you are not Jewish. 1048 00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:35,322 Listen, don’t-don’t be afraid of me. 1049 00:59:35,406 --> 00:59:37,574 But please don’t eat me alive. 1050 00:59:37,658 --> 00:59:40,077 Uh, do I look like I eat people? 1051 00:59:40,160 --> 00:59:42,830 -Uh... -I’m a old, good woman. 1052 00:59:42,913 --> 00:59:44,206 Yes. 1053 00:59:44,290 --> 00:59:46,292 -Look at me. I’m Jewish. -Yeah. 1054 00:59:46,375 --> 00:59:47,960 Do I have a long nose? 1055 00:59:48,043 --> 00:59:50,254 -Look at me. -No. 1056 00:59:50,337 --> 00:59:51,964 You can touch my nose. 1057 00:59:52,047 --> 00:59:54,091 -What? -Look at me. 1058 00:59:54,174 --> 00:59:56,677 You see? Is it long? 1059 00:59:56,760 --> 00:59:58,721 -No, it’s a small one. -Exactly like yours. 1060 00:59:58,804 --> 00:59:59,888 Look at Doris. 1061 00:59:59,972 --> 01:00:01,807 Does she have a long nose? 1062 01:00:01,890 --> 01:00:05,185 A little bit bigger than yours. 1063 01:00:05,269 --> 01:00:07,688 So we are normal, exactly like you. 1064 01:00:07,771 --> 01:00:10,691 Okay, then, use your venom on me and finish me. 1065 01:00:10,774 --> 01:00:13,444 I have-- I am very depress. 1066 01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:15,279 Can I give you a hug? 1067 01:00:16,280 --> 01:00:18,073 -Don’t-don’t. -Don’t kill me. 1068 01:00:18,157 --> 01:00:19,867 I will not kill you. 1069 01:00:19,950 --> 01:00:21,869 Let me give you a kiss. 1070 01:00:23,829 --> 01:00:27,249 You see? I give you a kiss, and you are still alive. 1071 01:00:27,333 --> 01:00:30,210 For now I am, but maybe the venom take longer. 1072 01:00:30,294 --> 01:00:33,005 Oh, come on. You will be okay. 1073 01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,007 I’m hungry. 1074 01:00:35,090 --> 01:00:36,842 -You are hungry? -Yes. 1075 01:00:38,052 --> 01:00:39,845 -Good, huh? -Very good. 1076 01:00:39,928 --> 01:00:42,431 Very good, huh? 1077 01:00:43,599 --> 01:00:45,851 I want to hear your story, my dear. 1078 01:00:45,934 --> 01:00:47,895 This is the worst story 1079 01:00:47,978 --> 01:00:51,315 that ever happened to any human being... 1080 01:00:51,398 --> 01:00:53,150 or Jew. 1081 01:00:53,233 --> 01:00:58,489 I came here on a simple mission to save my country by delivering 1082 01:00:58,572 --> 01:01:01,450 our number one televiski star Johnny the Monkey 1083 01:01:01,533 --> 01:01:04,161 as a gift to Michael Pence. 1084 01:01:04,244 --> 01:01:06,622 And I’m sure you’ve figured out what happen next. 1085 01:01:06,705 --> 01:01:11,377 My daughter had smuggled herself into the crate, 1086 01:01:11,460 --> 01:01:15,464 and yes, you got it, she’d eaten the monkey. 1087 01:01:15,547 --> 01:01:18,384 Although I believe he probably eat himself. 1088 01:01:18,467 --> 01:01:20,594 There are bad stories out there. 1089 01:01:20,677 --> 01:01:22,763 Listen, you want to hear my story, 1090 01:01:22,846 --> 01:01:24,681 -when I was a little child? -Yes, what is your story? 1091 01:01:24,765 --> 01:01:27,184 I was in the Holocaust. You see me? 1092 01:01:27,267 --> 01:01:28,936 I was in the Holocaust. 1093 01:01:29,019 --> 01:01:30,562 -The Holocaust? You were in the... -Yeah. 1094 01:01:30,646 --> 01:01:33,524 -I was... -But the Hol-- the Holocaust never happen. 1095 01:01:33,607 --> 01:01:36,193 But I saw it with my own eyes. 1096 01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:39,071 So the Holocaust... 1097 01:01:39,154 --> 01:01:40,697 -Happened. -...happen? 1098 01:01:40,781 --> 01:01:42,699 -Yes. -Really? 1099 01:01:42,783 --> 01:01:45,077 -Really. -It was not a fake? 1100 01:01:45,160 --> 01:01:46,578 No. No, my dear. 1101 01:01:46,662 --> 01:01:48,747 It wa-- it really happened. 1102 01:01:48,831 --> 01:01:51,333 Thank you, Judith. You made me so happy. 1103 01:01:51,417 --> 01:01:53,043 Thank you. 1104 01:01:53,127 --> 01:01:55,295 Thank you for giving me... 1105 01:01:55,379 --> 01:01:57,339 -Hope. -...faith and hope again. 1106 01:01:57,423 --> 01:02:00,467 Let’s make l-love instead of war. 1107 01:02:00,551 --> 01:02:03,387 Hold on. One step at a time, Judith. 1108 01:02:03,470 --> 01:02:06,056 The Holocaust happen! 1109 01:02:06,140 --> 01:02:08,350 My culture was right! 1110 01:02:08,434 --> 01:02:10,894 I had to find my daughter immediate 1111 01:02:10,978 --> 01:02:13,564 and deliver her to Giuliani. 1112 01:02:14,606 --> 01:02:16,233 I search in nearby village. 1113 01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:17,484 Tutar! 1114 01:02:17,568 --> 01:02:19,736 But for some reason, 1115 01:02:19,820 --> 01:02:23,031 -the streets were completely empty. -Tutar! 1116 01:02:23,115 --> 01:02:24,575 Tutar! 1117 01:02:24,658 --> 01:02:27,077 Stop hiding! 1118 01:02:31,457 --> 01:02:33,876 Uh, hello. Jangshemash. 1119 01:02:33,959 --> 01:02:35,794 Where is everybody? 1120 01:02:35,878 --> 01:02:38,172 I do not see anybody on the street. 1121 01:02:38,255 --> 01:02:39,923 That’s-- Everybody’s at home. 1122 01:02:40,007 --> 01:02:41,383 They’re telling them to stay inside 1123 01:02:41,467 --> 01:02:43,177 so they don’t spread this virus. 1124 01:02:43,260 --> 01:02:45,179 -Wh-- There is a virus? -Yes. 1125 01:02:45,262 --> 01:02:48,182 They’re wanting everybody to quarantine. 1126 01:02:48,265 --> 01:02:50,392 I do not have, uh, nowhere else to go. 1127 01:02:50,476 --> 01:02:52,686 Could I stay your home? 1128 01:03:02,779 --> 01:03:05,324 This is it. 1129 01:03:05,407 --> 01:03:07,534 Come on in. 1130 01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:12,456 You go ahead and come on in. 1131 01:03:12,539 --> 01:03:15,375 - Very nice. Yes? - Well, hello. 1132 01:03:15,459 --> 01:03:17,252 -Yes. -Yes. 1133 01:03:17,336 --> 01:03:19,046 Nice to meet you. 1134 01:03:19,129 --> 01:03:21,798 -Okay. -Yes. 1135 01:03:21,882 --> 01:03:24,301 How long must we be stuck in here? 1136 01:03:24,384 --> 01:03:26,053 Well, don’t know for sure. 1137 01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:29,181 Till this COVID-19 thing passes. 1138 01:03:29,264 --> 01:03:34,228 What is more dangerous, this, uh, virus or the Democrat? 1139 01:03:34,311 --> 01:03:37,064 Democrats. 1140 01:03:37,147 --> 01:03:38,774 I think, with the Democrats, 1141 01:03:38,857 --> 01:03:43,111 with Obama-- and I think it goes back to the Clintons-- 1142 01:03:43,195 --> 01:03:45,364 when they were also in office. 1143 01:03:45,447 --> 01:03:48,283 This, uh, Clinton, they make this plague? 1144 01:03:48,367 --> 01:03:50,911 -Yes. -JERRY: Yes. -Mm. Not nice! 1145 01:03:50,994 --> 01:03:53,247 -Clintons are very evil. -Extremely evil. 1146 01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:55,874 Supposedly, they torture these kids. 1147 01:03:55,958 --> 01:03:59,044 -It gets their adrenaline flowing in their body. -Mm-hmm. 1148 01:03:59,127 --> 01:04:01,171 Then they take that out of their adren-- 1149 01:04:01,255 --> 01:04:02,464 -adrenal glands... -Yeah. 1150 01:04:02,548 --> 01:04:03,799 ...and then they drink their blood 1151 01:04:03,882 --> 01:04:05,300 or that-that out of their... 1152 01:04:05,384 --> 01:04:07,344 I’ve heard about things like that. -Yeah. 1153 01:04:07,427 --> 01:04:09,846 Hillary Clinton drink the, uh, blood of children? 1154 01:04:09,930 --> 01:04:11,515 -That’s what we’ve heard. -Yeah. 1155 01:04:11,598 --> 01:04:14,017 -I’ve heard. -It’s-it’s been said. 1156 01:04:14,101 --> 01:04:16,144 - Yeah. - Lucky for me, 1157 01:04:16,228 --> 01:04:20,983 I was taken in by two of America’s greatest scientists. 1158 01:04:21,066 --> 01:04:23,777 -What’s up? -I’m killing some of the viroos. 1159 01:04:23,860 --> 01:04:27,155 -No, you can’t see the virus. -No, it’s still there. 1160 01:04:27,239 --> 01:04:28,365 This will kill the virus. 1161 01:04:45,299 --> 01:04:47,342 - That don’t go in here. - But this is for wash machine. 1162 01:04:47,426 --> 01:04:51,179 -What is that, the flashlight? -I get you new flashlight. 1163 01:04:51,263 --> 01:04:53,599 Alexa, order three flashlights. 1164 01:04:58,103 --> 01:05:00,480 - Oh... - Oh, wait a minute. 1165 01:05:00,564 --> 01:05:02,107 I don’t think that’s a flashlight. - What is it? 1166 01:05:02,190 --> 01:05:03,734 - I didn’t get the... - I said "flashlight." 1167 01:05:03,817 --> 01:05:06,486 This is "Flesh." It’s called a Fleshlight. 1168 01:05:13,327 --> 01:05:14,536 You got it. We’re done. 1169 01:05:14,620 --> 01:05:16,955 The Democrats, 1170 01:05:17,039 --> 01:05:19,666 they want to hurt and destroy this country. 1171 01:05:19,750 --> 01:05:20,876 They are like demons. 1172 01:05:20,959 --> 01:05:22,127 -Yes. -Yes. 1173 01:05:22,210 --> 01:05:25,088 We can’t do to them what we would like to do 1174 01:05:25,172 --> 01:05:28,508 because they-they unfortunately, they have the same rights we do. 1175 01:05:28,592 --> 01:05:32,095 They should have a bit less rights than you. 1176 01:05:32,179 --> 01:05:34,139 -Mm... -High five. -They-they should. 1177 01:05:34,222 --> 01:05:36,808 Even though the hoax virus lockdown 1178 01:05:36,892 --> 01:05:39,686 was stopping me from finding Tutar, 1179 01:05:39,770 --> 01:05:43,273 Jim and Jerry found ways to cheer me up. 1180 01:05:43,357 --> 01:05:44,441 I wrote a song for you last night 1181 01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,234 so you can play for us. 1182 01:05:46,318 --> 01:05:49,029 It’s called "The Chinese Virus Song." 1183 01:05:52,324 --> 01:05:54,493 - "America, he did hate her." - Yeah. 1184 01:05:57,204 --> 01:05:58,413 -There you go. -Yeah, that’s good. 1185 01:05:58,497 --> 01:05:59,665 That’s good. I like that. 1186 01:05:59,748 --> 01:06:01,875 -That’s good. -Say, "You can put him in jail." 1187 01:06:04,461 --> 01:06:06,672 - Yep. - Is he in jail? 1188 01:06:06,755 --> 01:06:08,799 No, but I hope so soon. 1189 01:06:08,882 --> 01:06:11,760 But I still had not found Tutar. 1190 01:06:11,843 --> 01:06:14,721 And although my buddies were highly knowledgeables, 1191 01:06:14,805 --> 01:06:18,308 they didn’t know anything about womens. 1192 01:06:18,392 --> 01:06:19,643 The women here have rights. 1193 01:06:19,726 --> 01:06:21,269 They can do whatever they want. 1194 01:06:23,563 --> 01:06:26,066 They have a brain like we have a brain. 1195 01:06:26,149 --> 01:06:29,861 They can think and say the same things we think and say. 1196 01:06:29,945 --> 01:06:31,780 When girl born, you are given 1197 01:06:31,863 --> 01:06:33,782 instruction booklet made by 1198 01:06:33,865 --> 01:06:36,785 -the Ministry of Agriculture and Wildlife. -Um, yes, but... 1199 01:06:36,868 --> 01:06:39,663 The male baby come out walking. 1200 01:06:39,746 --> 01:06:42,791 Not the female. The male baby come out... 1201 01:06:42,874 --> 01:06:44,918 -Look, you see. -Uh, they don’t. 1202 01:06:45,001 --> 01:06:46,712 This is supposed to be the doctors, 1203 01:06:46,795 --> 01:06:48,338 with delivery of the baby? 1204 01:06:48,422 --> 01:06:49,715 Yes. 1205 01:06:49,798 --> 01:06:52,676 The doctor wait for the baby to fall out, 1206 01:06:52,759 --> 01:06:55,220 and you have two other doctor do this. 1207 01:06:55,303 --> 01:06:58,056 -Well, you don’t need that. No. -One in anoos, one in mouth. 1208 01:06:58,140 --> 01:07:01,435 What you have shown us and explained to us, 1209 01:07:01,518 --> 01:07:04,646 -we’re sitting here like, "What?" -JIM: Yeah. 1210 01:07:04,730 --> 01:07:08,191 You were looking at this and thinking, "What?" 1211 01:07:08,275 --> 01:07:10,110 -Yeah. -It’s a lie. 1212 01:07:10,193 --> 01:07:13,071 That’s-- It’s a conspiracy theory. 1213 01:07:13,155 --> 01:07:16,867 I was scared that I would never find Tutar. 1214 01:07:16,950 --> 01:07:19,536 But then something amazings happened while I was looking 1215 01:07:19,619 --> 01:07:22,497 for QAnon stories with my buddies. 1216 01:07:22,581 --> 01:07:25,167 -Does this... -Hold on. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1217 01:07:25,250 --> 01:07:26,668 - Mm-hmm? - Wait, wait, wait. 1218 01:07:26,752 --> 01:07:28,670 This look like Tutar. 1219 01:07:28,754 --> 01:07:32,215 Her hair different, but this her, this Tutar. 1220 01:07:32,299 --> 01:07:34,301 Where are your pictures? 1221 01:07:34,384 --> 01:07:38,013 Can I see your pictures of her, please? 1222 01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:40,807 Okay, just a minute. You know what? 1223 01:07:40,891 --> 01:07:42,601 I’ll be goddamned if it isn’t her. 1224 01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:43,852 It does look like it. 1225 01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:46,813 Screw me in the anoos, this her. 1226 01:07:46,897 --> 01:07:48,440 Join me again on Saturday. 1227 01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:50,942 I will be reporting live from the state’s 1228 01:07:51,026 --> 01:07:53,069 biggest anti-lockdown protest. 1229 01:07:53,153 --> 01:07:55,113 I got to get a pen that fucking works here. 1230 01:07:55,197 --> 01:07:58,241 - "March..." - "For Our Rights." 1231 01:07:58,325 --> 01:08:00,577 "...For Our Rights Rally." 1232 01:08:00,660 --> 01:08:03,705 -Saturday, June 27. -That’s tomorrow. 1233 01:08:03,789 --> 01:08:04,998 -What? It’s tomorrow? -It’s tomorrow. 1234 01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:06,374 Please, please, can we go? 1235 01:08:06,458 --> 01:08:07,417 -Buddy, buddy, can we go? -Listen, listen, listen. 1236 01:08:07,501 --> 01:08:08,794 Buddy, buddy, buddy. Please. 1237 01:08:08,877 --> 01:08:11,546 Can we go out of lockdown and find her? 1238 01:08:11,630 --> 01:08:12,881 I would think so. 1239 01:08:12,964 --> 01:08:14,925 -But if she see me... -I know, that’s what I just said. 1240 01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:17,844 ...then she will run the moment she see my face. 1241 01:08:17,928 --> 01:08:20,055 Okay, you have to change your appearance. 1242 01:08:20,138 --> 01:08:21,598 Do something different with your hair... 1243 01:08:21,681 --> 01:08:23,433 -Yes. -...wear different clothes. 1244 01:08:23,517 --> 01:08:27,354 If I am disguise, what is the one thing 1245 01:08:27,437 --> 01:08:31,399 that is irresistible to all teenage girls? 1246 01:08:31,483 --> 01:08:33,276 Rock stars. 1247 01:08:33,360 --> 01:08:35,237 - What is it? - What? 1248 01:08:35,320 --> 01:08:36,988 Onions. 1249 01:08:37,072 --> 01:08:39,491 -Onions? -Onions. 1250 01:08:39,574 --> 01:08:40,826 We have onions. 1251 01:08:40,909 --> 01:08:42,577 -We have onions?! -Yes. 1252 01:08:42,661 --> 01:08:45,080 -You have onions in this house?! -Yes. 1253 01:08:45,163 --> 01:08:46,748 -I believe we do. -Yes! 1254 01:08:46,832 --> 01:08:50,085 Thank you, buddy! I love you! You are my best friend! 1255 01:08:50,168 --> 01:08:52,128 -Okay. -Fuck the social distance. 1256 01:08:54,840 --> 01:08:56,216 We got to get up and fight for this beautiful country, 1257 01:08:56,299 --> 01:08:58,468 the United States of America. 1258 01:08:58,552 --> 01:09:01,513 I don’t see very many masks out there. 1259 01:09:01,596 --> 01:09:03,765 That makes you, that makes you instant criminals right now. 1260 01:09:03,849 --> 01:09:05,350 They want to throw you in jail 1261 01:09:05,433 --> 01:09:07,185 for what you’re doing right here, right now. 1262 01:09:07,269 --> 01:09:08,270 Do you understand that? 1263 01:09:10,230 --> 01:09:12,148 They’re relying that you guys continue to shut up 1264 01:09:12,232 --> 01:09:14,526 and sit in your house like good little subjects. 1265 01:09:14,609 --> 01:09:17,737 We will not comply. 1266 01:09:17,821 --> 01:09:20,031 - Will not comply! - Now you’re talking! 1267 01:09:20,115 --> 01:09:24,536 I going to head up to the stage to see where she is. 1268 01:09:24,619 --> 01:09:25,996 We got to get up and fight, guys. 1269 01:09:26,079 --> 01:09:27,998 God bless each and every single one of you. 1270 01:09:31,668 --> 01:09:34,546 All right, we got some great music coming up. 1271 01:09:34,629 --> 01:09:37,465 Y’all ready? 1272 01:09:37,549 --> 01:09:40,302 Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your next act, 1273 01:09:40,385 --> 01:09:42,053 Country Steve. 1274 01:09:44,222 --> 01:09:45,724 Are you Country Steve? 1275 01:09:47,976 --> 01:09:50,020 You bet your asshole I am. -Great. 1276 01:09:54,649 --> 01:09:56,484 -There he is. -Oh, my gosh. Look at him. 1277 01:09:58,570 --> 01:10:00,655 He’s doing it. 1278 01:10:00,739 --> 01:10:02,324 I can’t believe he’s doing it. 1279 01:10:14,628 --> 01:10:16,421 Do you know, um... 1280 01:10:16,504 --> 01:10:18,757 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1281 01:10:18,840 --> 01:10:19,883 Right. 1282 01:10:20,967 --> 01:10:23,011 Okay? B-A-A-D-E. 1283 01:10:25,430 --> 01:10:29,517 I wrote this song with my two best buddies. 1284 01:10:31,770 --> 01:10:32,896 Yeah, very nice. 1285 01:10:56,586 --> 01:10:59,172 Yes. 1286 01:11:07,597 --> 01:11:09,683 Let hear it. 1287 01:11:22,737 --> 01:11:24,239 Over there. She’s over there. 1288 01:11:28,034 --> 01:11:30,453 Yes. 1289 01:11:30,537 --> 01:11:33,206 Okay, journalists. 1290 01:11:33,289 --> 01:11:35,250 Are we gonna inject them with the Wuhan flu 1291 01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:37,335 or chop ’em up like the Saudis do? 1292 01:11:37,419 --> 01:11:38,670 Okay, let’s hear it. 1293 01:11:38,753 --> 01:11:40,338 Who wants to inject them with the Wuhan flu? 1294 01:11:42,465 --> 01:11:44,467 Who wants to chop ’em up like the Saudis do? 1295 01:11:52,225 --> 01:11:54,728 Um, he’s been doing a really good job. 1296 01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:56,730 And the-the coronavirus just happened to come along and... 1297 01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,482 Excuse me. Can I talk to you? 1298 01:12:05,405 --> 01:12:08,450 He needs you to go back to be with 1299 01:12:08,533 --> 01:12:10,535 a man from Washington, D.C., 1300 01:12:10,618 --> 01:12:13,455 and if you do not do that, they will kill him. 1301 01:12:14,581 --> 01:12:15,874 They’re gonna take two cows, 1302 01:12:15,957 --> 01:12:17,125 and they’re gonna tie them to his-- 1303 01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:18,668 tie ropes to his legs. 1304 01:12:18,752 --> 01:12:20,837 And they’re gonna give them turnips, 1305 01:12:20,920 --> 01:12:24,549 and they’re gonna pull him apart by his legs. 1306 01:12:24,632 --> 01:12:26,384 That’s how they’re gonna kill him. 1307 01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:31,347 What should we do with scientists? 1308 01:12:31,431 --> 01:12:33,183 Let’s hear it for "feed them to the bears." 1309 01:12:33,266 --> 01:12:35,143 Yeah! 1310 01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:37,604 Let’s hear it for "gas them up like the Germans." 1311 01:12:37,687 --> 01:12:41,524 Okay, let’s do "gas them up." 1312 01:12:42,609 --> 01:12:45,070 I will not talk with him. 1313 01:12:45,153 --> 01:12:47,530 But tell him that I will do it. 1314 01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:52,285 Your father wanted you to have the book back. 1315 01:12:56,956 --> 01:12:59,542 Thank you very much. My name Country Steve. 1316 01:13:01,002 --> 01:13:06,132 Tutar was going to give herself to Rudolph Giuliani. 1317 01:13:06,216 --> 01:13:09,803 I had restored greatness to Kazakhstan. 1318 01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:13,932 Hello. My name is Grace Sagdiyev from Patriot’s Report. 1319 01:13:14,015 --> 01:13:17,018 I would love to interview your boss Rudy Giuliani. 1320 01:13:20,772 --> 01:13:25,193 It was time to return to Kazakhstan as a hero. 1321 01:13:25,276 --> 01:13:28,029 Finally, I would get my life back. 1322 01:13:33,368 --> 01:13:35,578 Yet something was missings. 1323 01:13:35,662 --> 01:13:39,332 Something precious that I could never replace. 1324 01:13:45,672 --> 01:13:46,923 Hello. 1325 01:13:47,006 --> 01:13:50,385 I, uh, want my daughter ball and chain, please. 1326 01:13:50,468 --> 01:13:52,387 Okay, well, can you step back? 1327 01:13:52,470 --> 01:13:54,472 ’Cause you’re too close to me. 1328 01:13:54,556 --> 01:13:55,765 Did you take the test? 1329 01:13:55,849 --> 01:13:58,810 To see if I, uh, had the syphilis? 1330 01:13:58,893 --> 01:14:01,271 -Not syphilis. -Ah, yes. 1331 01:14:01,354 --> 01:14:03,481 I had it 15 times. 1332 01:14:03,565 --> 01:14:05,191 Not-- That’s not good. 1333 01:14:05,275 --> 01:14:07,235 Okay, just stop right there. 1334 01:14:07,318 --> 01:14:09,237 -What? -You have to stop right there. 1335 01:14:09,320 --> 01:14:12,740 -Stop here? Why? -’Cause we can talk better that way. 1336 01:14:12,824 --> 01:14:14,993 Can I have my ball and chain, please? 1337 01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:18,329 -Are you finna put it back on her? -No, of course not. 1338 01:14:18,413 --> 01:14:20,957 She, uh, luckily came to her senses, 1339 01:14:21,040 --> 01:14:26,504 and she is, uh, about to gift herself to a new owner. 1340 01:14:26,588 --> 01:14:29,090 She will be the happiest woman in the world, uh, 1341 01:14:29,174 --> 01:14:31,426 just like, uh, Melania. 1342 01:14:31,509 --> 01:14:32,886 Can I have my... 1343 01:14:32,969 --> 01:14:35,054 Yes, I’m finna get your ball and chain 1344 01:14:35,138 --> 01:14:36,973 -for you. -Thank you. 1345 01:14:37,056 --> 01:14:38,349 You’re welcome. 1346 01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:44,981 Yes, that’s my girl’s. 1347 01:14:45,064 --> 01:14:46,232 Here you go. 1348 01:14:47,483 --> 01:14:49,652 -What is it? -That’s hers. 1349 01:14:49,736 --> 01:14:52,447 One more thing that she left. 1350 01:14:58,244 --> 01:15:01,039 I have a pain in my, uh, titties. 1351 01:15:01,122 --> 01:15:05,251 Maybe because you’re giving away your baby. 1352 01:15:05,335 --> 01:15:06,961 Why would that make my chest hurt? 1353 01:15:07,045 --> 01:15:08,963 -It should. -Why? 1354 01:15:09,047 --> 01:15:14,302 You’re giving a little girl to a old man. 1355 01:15:17,222 --> 01:15:19,891 That should make your chest hurt. 1356 01:15:19,974 --> 01:15:22,101 It should make your heart hurt. 1357 01:15:38,243 --> 01:15:40,245 Don’t you love her? 1358 01:15:40,328 --> 01:15:42,580 You care for her? 1359 01:15:44,374 --> 01:15:46,626 -You care? -Yes. 1360 01:15:46,709 --> 01:15:48,419 Okay. 1361 01:15:48,503 --> 01:15:51,214 So, shouldn’t she make the decision 1362 01:15:51,297 --> 01:15:54,175 on who she marries? 1363 01:15:54,259 --> 01:15:56,052 But there is only, uh, two hours left 1364 01:15:56,135 --> 01:15:58,221 before she will meet with this man. 1365 01:15:58,304 --> 01:15:59,681 That’s two hours. 1366 01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:02,642 -You got two hours to stop it. -Yes. 1367 01:16:02,725 --> 01:16:07,438 Find your baby and tell her she don’t have to do that. 1368 01:16:07,522 --> 01:16:09,983 Thank you so much. 1369 01:16:10,066 --> 01:16:11,442 -Okay, I will go. -Okay. 1370 01:16:11,526 --> 01:16:12,652 Oh, one last thing. 1371 01:16:13,736 --> 01:16:15,697 Will you be my new Black wife? 1372 01:16:15,780 --> 01:16:18,199 No, sir, I cannot be your new Black wife. 1373 01:16:18,283 --> 01:16:19,826 Okay. 1374 01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:52,400 As a woman, you have to be 1375 01:16:52,483 --> 01:16:54,235 kind of weak. 1376 01:16:56,321 --> 01:17:00,116 No more strong. We can’t be strong anymore. 1377 01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:24,098 -Nice to meet you, my dear. -Nice to meet you. 1378 01:17:24,182 --> 01:17:27,101 -You’re one of my greatest heroes. -Oh, that’s so nice. 1379 01:17:27,185 --> 01:17:29,020 -Thank you. Thank you. -Yes. 1380 01:17:29,103 --> 01:17:30,563 I will try my best, 1381 01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:32,565 but because I am super excited and nervous... 1382 01:17:32,648 --> 01:17:34,108 Well, you relax. I’ll relax. 1383 01:17:34,192 --> 01:17:35,860 You want me to ask you questions? 1384 01:17:36,903 --> 01:17:39,322 -I’ll relax you, okay? -Yes. 1385 01:17:39,405 --> 01:17:42,784 Thank you. I feel like I’m living in a fairy tale. 1386 01:17:42,867 --> 01:17:44,494 Come here. 1387 01:17:44,577 --> 01:17:46,204 You’re gonna do great, okay? 1388 01:18:05,139 --> 01:18:06,849 - Where are you going? - Upstairs. 1389 01:18:06,933 --> 01:18:08,476 No, you are not going up there. 1390 01:18:08,559 --> 01:18:10,603 But I must defend my daughter’s vagine from America’s mayor. 1391 01:18:10,686 --> 01:18:12,063 Let me see your I.D.!! 1392 01:18:12,146 --> 01:18:14,649 So, please take this. 1393 01:18:14,732 --> 01:18:18,569 It used to belong to my father, but I think you should keep it. 1394 01:18:18,653 --> 01:18:19,946 It-- Whoa. My God. 1395 01:18:20,029 --> 01:18:21,823 That’s wonderful that you gave this to me. 1396 01:18:21,906 --> 01:18:23,991 So, uh... 1397 01:18:26,494 --> 01:18:27,703 Well, thank you, my dear. 1398 01:18:27,787 --> 01:18:30,373 Get out or I’m calling the police! 1399 01:18:30,456 --> 01:18:31,833 Time running out. 1400 01:18:31,916 --> 01:18:34,836 Please. His old chram will soon be turgid. 1401 01:18:37,380 --> 01:18:39,257 A little bit about China. 1402 01:18:39,340 --> 01:18:41,217 As an expert of national security, 1403 01:18:41,300 --> 01:18:43,553 what do you think we can do going forward 1404 01:18:43,636 --> 01:18:45,304 to prevent this for happening again? 1405 01:18:45,388 --> 01:18:51,102 W-Well, China manufactured the virus and let it out. 1406 01:18:51,185 --> 01:18:54,355 And they deliberately spread it all around the world. 1407 01:18:54,439 --> 01:18:56,941 -I don’t think anybody was eating bats. -Yeah. 1408 01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:59,193 -Did you ever have a bat? -Oh, no. 1409 01:18:59,277 --> 01:19:01,446 I don’t think I will ever... 1410 01:19:01,529 --> 01:19:02,780 eat a bat. 1411 01:19:02,864 --> 01:19:04,198 If you eat a bat with me. 1412 01:19:04,282 --> 01:19:06,033 -Okay, I will. I’ll eat a bat with you. -Can we try? 1413 01:19:07,452 --> 01:19:10,037 You’re so funny. 1414 01:19:23,676 --> 01:19:26,262 Uh, in the panty-house. Uh, ooh. 1415 01:19:26,345 --> 01:19:28,222 So, probably in a rough estimate, 1416 01:19:28,306 --> 01:19:30,683 how many lives President Trump saved? 1417 01:19:30,766 --> 01:19:32,602 I’d say he’s saved a million lives. 1418 01:19:32,685 --> 01:19:34,479 There would’ve been a million more had he, had he waited 1419 01:19:34,562 --> 01:19:37,648 -that month, the way the Democrats would’ve done. -Yeah. 1420 01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:39,859 Uh, but he acted swiftly, 1421 01:19:39,942 --> 01:19:41,944 he acted before anybod-- in fact, 1422 01:19:42,028 --> 01:19:45,740 even his own, even his own advisors... 1423 01:19:45,823 --> 01:19:48,284 -some of them advised him not to do it. -Really? 1424 01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:50,995 Yeah. 1425 01:19:51,078 --> 01:19:53,372 I’m good. Oh, here, a little bit does some good? 1426 01:19:53,456 --> 01:19:55,625 - Here you go. - Yeah. It’s always good. 1427 01:19:55,708 --> 01:19:57,043 Never been in front of the camera. 1428 01:19:57,126 --> 01:19:58,503 I’ve always been behind of the camera, 1429 01:19:58,586 --> 01:19:59,921 but today, something with this... 1430 01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:01,422 Uh, I think you’re gonna look pretty good. 1431 01:20:01,506 --> 01:20:03,090 We will see. 1432 01:20:03,174 --> 01:20:04,717 Yeah, you’re gonna look pretty good. 1433 01:20:04,800 --> 01:20:06,636 -But it’s because of you. -Well, thank you. 1434 01:20:06,719 --> 01:20:09,680 I really feel like Melania right now. 1435 01:20:09,764 --> 01:20:11,599 Well, you’re doing very well. 1436 01:20:11,682 --> 01:20:13,100 So I think you’re gonna look pretty... 1437 01:20:13,184 --> 01:20:14,227 Sorry to interrupt, Mayor. 1438 01:20:14,310 --> 01:20:17,230 Um, sound problem. 1439 01:20:17,313 --> 01:20:18,773 I think we cancel interview. 1440 01:20:20,483 --> 01:20:22,568 -Uh, I don’t think we need, uh... because... -Yeah. 1441 01:20:22,652 --> 01:20:24,403 -I-I already checked... -I’ll just check your mic. 1442 01:20:24,487 --> 01:20:26,155 Okay. 1443 01:20:26,239 --> 01:20:27,823 -Is that better? -Yeah, that’s b-better. 1444 01:20:27,907 --> 01:20:30,618 Let me just listen in for a minute. 1445 01:20:30,701 --> 01:20:32,036 Yeah. 1446 01:20:32,119 --> 01:20:34,121 Is she asking too many questions? 1447 01:20:34,205 --> 01:20:36,499 No, she’s doing great. 1448 01:20:36,582 --> 01:20:38,793 She’d make a very nagging wife. 1449 01:20:39,835 --> 01:20:41,170 No! 1450 01:20:41,254 --> 01:20:43,839 If I were you, I would stick to marrying your cousins. 1451 01:20:43,923 --> 01:20:45,716 Let me check the sound. 1452 01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:46,801 Can I check the sound? 1453 01:20:47,969 --> 01:20:49,637 Sure. 1454 01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:52,306 Mr. Mayor, c-can you say something? 1455 01:20:52,390 --> 01:20:53,724 Can you say something? 1456 01:20:53,808 --> 01:20:56,102 -Yes, I’m fine. -Yeah, the sound is perfect. 1457 01:20:56,185 --> 01:20:58,271 -It’s probably better if I stay and... -Please, please l-leave. 1458 01:20:58,354 --> 01:21:00,189 No, no, please. If I need you, I will call you. 1459 01:21:00,273 --> 01:21:02,900 -You sure? -You will be in the lobby, right? 1460 01:21:02,984 --> 01:21:04,735 Don’t do it. 1461 01:21:04,819 --> 01:21:06,696 What? That’s what you want. 1462 01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:08,364 But it’s not what you want. 1463 01:21:08,447 --> 01:21:11,242 But I also don’t want you to die. 1464 01:21:11,325 --> 01:21:12,910 Now go! Go. 1465 01:21:12,994 --> 01:21:15,913 -What if I take your place and he makes sexy time with me? -No. 1466 01:21:15,997 --> 01:21:17,248 Leave. 1467 01:21:21,752 --> 01:21:23,629 -I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. -Just relax. Sit down. 1468 01:21:23,713 --> 01:21:25,756 Sit, sit, sit, sit. Okay. 1469 01:21:25,840 --> 01:21:27,216 I’m so sorry for that. 1470 01:21:27,300 --> 01:21:28,634 Really, I apologize. 1471 01:21:28,718 --> 01:21:30,845 Apology accepted. No problem. 1472 01:21:30,928 --> 01:21:32,221 - Okay. - Okay? 1473 01:21:32,305 --> 01:21:35,891 Yeah. Uh, thank you again for giving me this time. 1474 01:21:35,975 --> 01:21:37,810 Shall we have a drink in the bedroom? 1475 01:21:40,354 --> 01:21:41,897 - Come here. Come here. - What? 1476 01:21:41,981 --> 01:21:43,441 Hold up. 1477 01:21:43,524 --> 01:21:46,152 -There you go, my dear. -Okay. 1478 01:21:46,235 --> 01:21:48,446 Yeah, you’re-you’re good. 1479 01:21:48,529 --> 01:21:51,657 You can give me your phone number and your address. 1480 01:21:55,536 --> 01:21:58,372 -Should we slip your jacket? -Okay. 1481 01:22:05,087 --> 01:22:06,547 Put down your chram! 1482 01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:10,259 She 15. She too old for you. 1483 01:22:10,343 --> 01:22:11,302 Why are you dressed like this? 1484 01:22:11,385 --> 01:22:13,137 She my daughter. Please, take me instead. 1485 01:22:13,220 --> 01:22:15,097 -Take my anoos. -Don’t take him. -I don’t want you. 1486 01:22:15,181 --> 01:22:16,682 No, no, take my anoos. Do not have her. 1487 01:22:16,766 --> 01:22:18,059 I’m better than him. 1488 01:22:18,142 --> 01:22:19,602 No, I better. My back pussy very tight. 1489 01:22:19,685 --> 01:22:21,479 No, please, my front anoos. 1490 01:22:21,562 --> 01:22:23,105 Please, I will let you enjoy my chram in your mouth. 1491 01:22:23,189 --> 01:22:24,815 No, I better! 1492 01:22:24,899 --> 01:22:26,317 I can... I would love to marry you. 1493 01:22:26,400 --> 01:22:27,735 I was in prison many years, 1494 01:22:27,818 --> 01:22:29,362 so I have techniques with my mouth. 1495 01:22:29,445 --> 01:22:31,280 Hello? What’s going on here? Look at this guy. 1496 01:22:31,364 --> 01:22:32,657 I forbid this union. 1497 01:22:32,740 --> 01:22:34,909 Rudy, Trump will be disappoint. 1498 01:22:34,992 --> 01:22:37,870 You are leaving hotel without golden shower. 1499 01:23:00,309 --> 01:23:02,395 That one was close. 1500 01:23:03,604 --> 01:23:04,980 You know what I think? 1501 01:23:06,732 --> 01:23:09,485 I think you did this because 1502 01:23:09,568 --> 01:23:12,363 you love me as much as your sons. 1503 01:23:14,031 --> 01:23:15,491 No. 1504 01:23:18,160 --> 01:23:19,078 More. 1505 01:23:22,915 --> 01:23:25,126 So much more. 1506 01:23:30,214 --> 01:23:31,716 What shall we do? 1507 01:23:32,550 --> 01:23:34,176 You stay here. 1508 01:23:36,512 --> 01:23:38,889 I will go home. 1509 01:23:39,557 --> 01:23:40,808 To be executed. 1510 01:23:43,185 --> 01:23:45,312 -I’m coming with you. -No, no. 1511 01:23:45,396 --> 01:23:47,565 You want to live in a cage? 1512 01:23:47,648 --> 01:23:49,650 I forbid it. 1513 01:23:50,943 --> 01:23:53,320 I get to choose. 1514 01:23:55,156 --> 01:23:57,074 Okay. 1515 01:24:06,667 --> 01:24:10,337 This is my final Will and Testament. 1516 01:24:10,421 --> 01:24:14,717 To my daughter, I leave everything... 1517 01:24:15,593 --> 01:24:17,595 One anti-semitic chocolate cake, 1518 01:24:18,345 --> 01:24:20,347 also three... 1519 01:24:20,431 --> 01:24:21,849 ...Fleshlights. 1520 01:24:21,932 --> 01:24:23,017 Stop. 1521 01:24:27,855 --> 01:24:30,399 We’re not going to kill you. 1522 01:24:31,150 --> 01:24:34,153 But I failed my mission. 1523 01:24:34,236 --> 01:24:36,739 It’s okay. People make mistakes. 1524 01:24:50,753 --> 01:24:52,087 Tatti? 1525 01:24:59,970 --> 01:25:02,181 I a total failures. 1526 01:25:02,264 --> 01:25:05,184 My whole world fall to pieces. 1527 01:25:07,436 --> 01:25:09,688 - They make this plague? - Yes. 1528 01:25:09,772 --> 01:25:11,649 And they deliberately spread it 1529 01:25:11,732 --> 01:25:13,108 all around the world. 1530 01:25:14,735 --> 01:25:16,779 Two Sagdiyev. 1531 01:25:16,862 --> 01:25:19,323 I believe it comes out of that laboratory. 1532 01:25:19,406 --> 01:25:21,367 I don’t think anybody was eating bats. 1533 01:25:21,450 --> 01:25:23,494 - Did you ever eat a bat? - Oh, no. - 1534 01:25:23,577 --> 01:25:25,996 Our Premier Nazarbayev, he grab a lot. 1535 01:25:26,080 --> 01:25:28,123 He can do whatever he wants, right? 1536 01:25:28,207 --> 01:25:30,459 He sent you a bunch of angry faces. 1537 01:25:33,087 --> 01:25:36,215 I go to America! 1538 01:25:36,298 --> 01:25:38,467 So, what if they spread it all around the world? 1539 01:25:38,551 --> 01:25:41,470 The Wuhan flu. 1540 01:25:44,640 --> 01:25:46,267 Wawaweewa! 1541 01:25:46,350 --> 01:25:48,185 You the Forrest the Gumps! 1542 01:25:48,269 --> 01:25:50,145 -Hi. -Please, uh, make autograph? 1543 01:25:50,229 --> 01:25:51,230 Sure. 1544 01:25:52,815 --> 01:25:54,859 -How do you spell your name? -Uh, B... 1545 01:25:54,942 --> 01:25:57,444 We have 15 cases of coronavirus. 1546 01:25:57,528 --> 01:25:59,446 We’re ready. We’re ready for anything. 1547 01:25:59,530 --> 01:26:00,781 Why, uh, you wear mask? 1548 01:26:00,865 --> 01:26:01,824 ’Cause of 1549 01:26:01,907 --> 01:26:04,201 the virus that’s going around. 1550 01:26:04,285 --> 01:26:06,161 It’s gone worldwide. It’s all around the world. 1551 01:26:07,454 --> 01:26:08,998 It’s in the air. It’s everywhere. 1552 01:26:09,081 --> 01:26:10,499 And then you get sick. 1553 01:26:10,583 --> 01:26:13,168 I’m good. 1554 01:26:13,252 --> 01:26:15,296 "Stupid foreign reporter." 1555 01:26:15,379 --> 01:26:17,172 You will die. 1556 01:26:18,132 --> 01:26:19,633 Wawaweewa. 1557 01:26:32,897 --> 01:26:37,526 You used me to spread the virus around the world. 1558 01:26:37,610 --> 01:26:39,445 Yes I did. 1559 01:26:39,528 --> 01:26:41,155 And our plan worked brilliantly. 1560 01:26:41,238 --> 01:26:44,158 We got our revenge on the world for them laughing on us. 1561 01:26:44,241 --> 01:26:45,659 Did you hear that, Brian? 1562 01:26:45,743 --> 01:26:48,746 -Yes, sir. -If anything happens to me, 1563 01:26:48,829 --> 01:26:51,957 forward this to my best boyfriends, Jim and Jerry. 1564 01:26:52,833 --> 01:26:54,668 What is that magical calculator? 1565 01:26:54,752 --> 01:26:56,921 It’s called a phone. 1566 01:26:57,504 --> 01:26:58,756 Who is that? 1567 01:26:58,839 --> 01:27:01,300 America’s Minister of Technology. 1568 01:27:01,383 --> 01:27:02,676 His name, Brian. 1569 01:27:02,760 --> 01:27:06,597 His twin brother live inside my phone. 1570 01:27:06,680 --> 01:27:09,016 Say jangshemash, Brian. 1571 01:27:09,099 --> 01:27:10,809 Hello. This is Brian. 1572 01:27:10,893 --> 01:27:13,729 I just recorded you talking. 1573 01:27:14,855 --> 01:27:16,023 Ok... 1574 01:27:16,982 --> 01:27:19,610 What do you two want... 1575 01:27:19,693 --> 01:27:21,737 to keep your mouths shut? 1576 01:27:22,738 --> 01:27:25,324 I have some ideas. 1577 01:27:30,329 --> 01:27:34,166 Jangshemash! Kazakhstan now feminist nation. 1578 01:27:34,249 --> 01:27:37,294 Like US&A and Saudi Arabia. 1579 01:27:37,378 --> 01:27:40,422 Bride exports declared misogynist, 1580 01:27:40,506 --> 01:27:42,633 so we now traffic grooms. 1581 01:27:47,680 --> 01:27:50,891 We use my iPhone 4’s hot spot 1582 01:27:50,975 --> 01:27:55,312 and steal password from assholes Uzbekistan. 1583 01:27:55,396 --> 01:27:58,983 Now we are part of the global community, 1584 01:27:59,066 --> 01:28:03,195 influencing elections around the world. 1585 01:28:05,781 --> 01:28:09,535 Kazakhstan now center of COVID-safe fashion. 1586 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:11,954 We invent the maskini! 1587 01:28:15,749 --> 01:28:17,835 Our people are kept healthy 1588 01:28:17,918 --> 01:28:20,587 with daily hygienic temperature checks. 1589 01:28:22,756 --> 01:28:26,719 Our fatality rate plummet to 92%. 1590 01:28:27,928 --> 01:28:30,014 Best of all, I am reinstate 1591 01:28:30,097 --> 01:28:33,517 as number-four journalist in all of Kazakhstan. 1592 01:28:33,600 --> 01:28:35,310 Who number three? 1593 01:28:35,394 --> 01:28:36,979 Tutar Sagdiyev. 1594 01:28:37,062 --> 01:28:38,230 Why not? 1595 01:28:38,313 --> 01:28:40,691 May the patriarchy go to hells. 1596 01:28:40,774 --> 01:28:43,318 -Nice. -No, "ni-i-ice." 1597 01:28:43,402 --> 01:28:45,112 Don’t mansplain to me. 1598 01:28:45,195 --> 01:28:47,281 Feminists. 1599 01:28:47,364 --> 01:28:50,034 My visit to US&A make me realize 1600 01:28:50,117 --> 01:28:52,327 that greatest threat to Kazakhstan 1601 01:28:52,411 --> 01:28:54,455 is no longer the Jew. 1602 01:28:54,538 --> 01:28:57,124 It is, in fact, the Yankee. 1603 01:28:57,207 --> 01:28:59,543 Jangshemash. 1604 01:28:59,626 --> 01:29:03,422 Welcome to the first ever 1605 01:29:03,505 --> 01:29:05,841 Running of the American. 1606 01:29:08,552 --> 01:29:10,095 They’re starting to run! 1607 01:29:10,179 --> 01:29:13,265 Here comes the American! 1608 01:29:13,348 --> 01:29:15,601 Oh no! He’s got the fever! 1609 01:29:15,684 --> 01:29:17,686 He’s not wearing a mask. 1610 01:29:17,770 --> 01:29:18,979 BORAT and TUTAR: 1611 01:29:21,565 --> 01:29:23,484 Here comes Karen! 1612 01:29:23,567 --> 01:29:25,944 She’s being a little bit racist! 1613 01:29:26,028 --> 01:29:27,446 She’s going to cough. 1614 01:29:29,573 --> 01:29:31,533 Here comes the chief medical expert! 1615 01:29:31,617 --> 01:29:34,495 And he’s got a vaccine! 1616 01:29:34,578 --> 01:29:37,164 Everybody’s going to be saved! 1617 01:29:39,249 --> 01:29:42,044 She’s been to Walmart, she’s got her AR-15. 1618 01:29:42,127 --> 01:29:45,255 Karen is not happy. 1619 01:29:45,339 --> 01:29:49,134 Oh no, she’s killed Fauci! 1620 01:29:49,218 --> 01:29:52,012 The Americans are victorious 1621 01:29:52,096 --> 01:29:54,890 in their battle against science. 1622 01:29:54,973 --> 01:29:56,850 For Kazakhstan TV, 1623 01:29:56,934 --> 01:29:58,811 this is Tutar Sagdiyev... 1624 01:29:58,894 --> 01:30:01,605 and Borat Margaret Sagdiyev. 1625 01:30:02,439 --> 01:30:04,233 Chenquieh. 1626 01:30:07,444 --> 01:30:09,571 You were amazing!