1 00:00:04,567 --> 00:00:06,267 and may contain mature subject matter. 2 00:00:06,266 --> 00:00:10,596 Viewer discretion is advised. 3 00:00:10,734 --> 00:00:13,004 and may contain mature(groaning)atter. 4 00:00:15,066 --> 00:00:17,366 -Suzette? -Dwayne? 5 00:00:17,500 --> 00:00:19,030 Oh! 6 00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:20,966 -Oh, non. Did we...? 7 00:00:21,100 --> 00:00:24,070 -Ugh, of course, we did. Dammit! 8 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,230 -Hopefully, no one saw us together. 9 00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:29,333 -Oh, shit-sticks. 10 00:00:30,367 --> 00:00:33,197 (groaning in effort) 11 00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:35,403 -Huh? Why are you wearing my clothes? 12 00:00:35,533 --> 00:00:36,933 -Huh? 13 00:00:37,066 --> 00:00:39,496 I don't know, but my ass looks exquisite in these yoga pants. 14 00:00:39,633 --> 00:00:41,633 Um, yeah! -Argh... 15 00:00:42,633 --> 00:00:45,003 (apocalyptic music) 16 00:00:48,133 --> 00:00:51,173 (theme music) 17 00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:11,404 (growling) 18 00:01:15,500 --> 00:01:17,300 from last night?ything 19 00:01:17,433 --> 00:01:19,333 -I need a minute. There's a lot to unpack here. 20 00:01:19,467 --> 00:01:22,127 For example, why are we in the street? 21 00:01:24,066 --> 00:01:26,266 And why is there a giant pig? -Wait... 22 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:28,500 If Rafe and Gabe aren't back yet 23 00:01:28,633 --> 00:01:30,233 and that thing's running loose, 24 00:01:30,367 --> 00:01:33,667 maybe everyone else...? -...got turned into giant pigs! 25 00:01:33,800 --> 00:01:36,000 -No, you idiot! They could be dead! 26 00:01:36,133 --> 00:01:38,033 Jesus Christ! Hey! 27 00:01:38,166 --> 00:01:40,196 Didn't we run onto each other at church last night? 28 00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,533 -Yes! I was coming out of the confessional. That was awkward. 29 00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:46,267 -Yeah, that was awkward. Come on! 30 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,400 (chain rattling) 31 00:01:48,533 --> 00:01:52,573 (suspenseful music) 32 00:01:57,133 --> 00:01:58,873 (sad groan) 33 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,300 -Ooh! Ooh! Ah... Ooh! 34 00:02:02,433 --> 00:02:05,973 (moaning) 35 00:02:08,967 --> 00:02:12,327 (whistling) 36 00:02:13,734 --> 00:02:15,104 (long drag, exhalation) 37 00:02:15,233 --> 00:02:17,603 -Argh! 38 00:02:17,734 --> 00:02:20,034 Alright, Lawless, 39 00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:24,096 I'm here to finish giving your ass the pounding it deserves! 40 00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:26,503 -Bruh, I burned one a minute ago, 41 00:02:26,633 --> 00:02:28,903 so I'm gonna need some context... 42 00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:32,573 -Oh... -Oh, wait, I remember you! 43 00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:34,730 Joey Jimjohn from St. Zephyr. 44 00:02:34,867 --> 00:02:38,927 Ah, your wife's the hottie with the tail, right? 45 00:02:40,700 --> 00:02:42,230 (sigh) 46 00:02:42,367 --> 00:02:46,367 -Fight me! I thought you were a bloodthirsty wasteland psycho! 47 00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:50,130 -I am! But right now, I just wanna kick back, 48 00:02:50,266 --> 00:02:52,426 mellow out, and eat this weird chicken thing. 49 00:02:52,567 --> 00:02:54,127 (sniggering) 50 00:02:54,266 --> 00:02:56,626 So, I'll take a rain check on fighting you, Jeffy Jingletoes. 51 00:02:56,767 --> 00:02:59,597 -Please, I've got nothing left. 52 00:02:59,734 --> 00:03:01,534 I used to be something. 53 00:03:01,667 --> 00:03:04,127 Men feared me, women lusted after me... 54 00:03:04,266 --> 00:03:07,726 Then, I mutated into a big jiggly joke! 55 00:03:07,867 --> 00:03:10,667 Please, I just want to end it. 56 00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:13,270 -That's why you're here? 57 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:15,930 Alright, I'll help you die, my mutant homie. 58 00:03:16,066 --> 00:03:18,096 But not for free. 59 00:03:18,233 --> 00:03:21,573 -Oh. Of course. Won't need these where I'm going. 60 00:03:24,066 --> 00:03:25,596 (gun cocking) 61 00:03:25,734 --> 00:03:27,934 (gunshot, thump) 62 00:03:29,367 --> 00:03:32,197 (groaning) 63 00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:33,903 Oh... 64 00:03:34,934 --> 00:03:37,374 What does this mean? I can't die? 65 00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:41,230 I can't even end my own miserable existence? What a rip! 66 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,130 -Um... 67 00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:46,766 In all the time I've been killing people for money, 68 00:03:46,900 --> 00:03:48,930 I've never had to give a refund. 69 00:03:49,066 --> 00:03:51,126 So, I'm taking you on as a passion project. 70 00:03:51,266 --> 00:03:55,566 I swear I shall murder you, Jimbo Jellyroll. 71 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,170 -Oh! 72 00:03:57,300 --> 00:03:59,900 (bell ringing) 73 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,630 -(together): Oh! 74 00:04:01,767 --> 00:04:03,297 (sinister organ music) 75 00:04:03,433 --> 00:04:06,103 -Where'd all these big-butt nuns come from? 76 00:04:06,233 --> 00:04:09,503 -The good Lord didn't send them, I can tell you that much. 77 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:12,033 -And the Lord said: 78 00:04:12,166 --> 00:04:15,596 "Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and Despair!" 79 00:04:15,734 --> 00:04:17,104 Oh, hey, Suzette! 80 00:04:17,233 --> 00:04:19,803 -Father... Who crucified you? 81 00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:21,374 -Was it the big-butt nuns? 82 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:24,700 -Oh! No, no, no, no no! They were your guests. 83 00:04:24,834 --> 00:04:27,574 -Mine or Dwayne's? Cause I don't usually cotton to big butts! 84 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,270 -Um, I remember taking confession 85 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:32,200 and then giving communion... 86 00:04:32,333 --> 00:04:34,333 Yes, a lot of giving and taking... 87 00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:36,767 (sinister music) 88 00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:40,403 -What are you doing here? 89 00:04:40,533 --> 00:04:42,703 -Father Manilla ran out of wafers, 90 00:04:42,834 --> 00:04:44,874 so I gave him some edibles I made. 91 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,100 (laughter) -You gave him what? 92 00:04:47,233 --> 00:04:49,833 (munching and gulping) Ah... 93 00:04:49,967 --> 00:04:53,597 -I remember those wafers tasted kind of skunky. 94 00:04:53,734 --> 00:04:56,374 -And I remember your confessions! 95 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,470 Dwayne schtupping Ana! 96 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,570 Suzette seizing Rafe's sacred virginity 97 00:05:01,700 --> 00:05:04,830 like a rabid Viking ravishing a maiden! 98 00:05:04,967 --> 00:05:07,027 -Hey, Father, a little clergy/client privilege 99 00:05:07,166 --> 00:05:09,496 if you don't mind! Now, about these nuns... 100 00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:11,733 -Ah! travelling theatre troupe! 101 00:05:11,867 --> 00:05:15,097 You two took an interest in their hip hop musical 102 00:05:15,233 --> 00:05:17,833 Drop it Low for Jesus. 103 00:05:19,367 --> 00:05:23,367 -Wait a sec, man! You can't make a Jesus show without Jesus! 104 00:05:23,500 --> 00:05:25,400 Father! Come here! 105 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,403 I said come here! 106 00:05:27,533 --> 00:05:31,233 -(trembling voice): Oh, I don't know about this... 107 00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,827 Ooh, mama that feels good! 108 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,827 Pull it tighter. (rope squeaking) 109 00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:37,567 -Excellent. That's it! 110 00:05:37,700 --> 00:05:39,070 Pretend to be dead. 111 00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:41,830 Like Jesus did before he jumped up and yelled: "Boo!" 112 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:45,067 (laughing) Ah, that's in the Bible. 113 00:05:46,600 --> 00:05:49,030 Okay, so I'm gonna be the director 114 00:05:49,166 --> 00:05:50,826 and you're gonna be the producer! 115 00:05:50,967 --> 00:05:53,927 -No, no, no. I already told them I was the director. 116 00:05:54,066 --> 00:05:56,666 -Then, we'll have to switch clothes! 117 00:05:56,800 --> 00:05:58,830 They'll see me and think it's you, 118 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,697 but it'll really be me! 119 00:06:00,834 --> 00:06:03,504 That'll fool them. (laughter) 120 00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:05,233 (disco music) 121 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:10,230 Okay, ladies! Action! 122 00:06:10,367 --> 00:06:12,727 (hip-hop beat) 123 00:06:16,900 --> 00:06:20,430 ♪ Drop it low for Jesus ♪ ♪ Make it clap for Jesus ♪ 124 00:06:20,567 --> 00:06:23,427 ♪ Bring it back for Jesus ♪ ♪ Shake that ass for Jesus ♪ 125 00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:25,727 ♪ Jesus's love demands ♪ 126 00:06:25,867 --> 00:06:31,467 ♪ You pop that ass on a handstand ♪ 127 00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:37,770 -Um... I still don't get why we had to switch clothes? 128 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,400 -We were on drugs, Suzette! 129 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:42,773 Don't question drug logic. That way lies madness! 130 00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,630 -And you filled Suzette's pants very nicely, Dwayne. 131 00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:49,067 -Thank you! -And after this show, 132 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,730 you led the nuns out of here 133 00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:53,527 like the Pied Piper led the rats to Ireland, 134 00:06:53,667 --> 00:06:56,467 promising liquor and other earthly delights. 135 00:06:56,600 --> 00:06:59,200 -Brew N' Chug! Let's go. 136 00:06:59,333 --> 00:07:01,933 -You want us to get you down? -No! 137 00:07:02,066 --> 00:07:04,666 I am in my happy place! 138 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:07,630 -Okay... 139 00:07:10,166 --> 00:07:13,566 (whooshing, thumping) 140 00:07:20,033 --> 00:07:21,773 (wheel squeaking) 141 00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,570 (match crackling) 142 00:07:23,700 --> 00:07:26,400 (detonation) 143 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,530 (engine roaring) 144 00:07:35,166 --> 00:07:36,796 -Did it work? Are you dead? 145 00:07:36,934 --> 00:07:38,874 -No... It's no use! 146 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,530 I'm cursed with immortality! 147 00:07:41,667 --> 00:07:43,367 -Don't say that. Look at me. 148 00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:46,470 We can... Hey, look at me! We can do this! 149 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,930 Don't give up now. -Easy for you to say! 150 00:07:49,066 --> 00:07:50,926 Your wife isn't sleeping with the mayor. 151 00:07:51,066 --> 00:07:54,526 -Mine left me! But did I curl up in a ball and die? 152 00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:58,397 No! But you will, Justin Jerrycurl! Now, come on! 153 00:07:58,533 --> 00:08:00,403 Let's try throwing you off something high. 154 00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:06,100 You know, what we're doing here feels like the culmination 155 00:08:06,233 --> 00:08:09,403 of my life's work. My magnum opus, if you will. 156 00:08:09,533 --> 00:08:11,703 -Oh! Glad you're enjoying this... 157 00:08:11,834 --> 00:08:15,234 (long scream) -Thank me later, bud! 158 00:08:16,900 --> 00:08:20,070 -Finally, things are looking up! 159 00:08:23,233 --> 00:08:25,173 (metal clanking) 160 00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:27,270 -Ana! Who did this to you? 161 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,400 -You did, you stupid idiot! 162 00:08:29,533 --> 00:08:31,233 You were like peas in a pod last night. 163 00:08:31,367 --> 00:08:33,597 Two demons hell-bent on destruction... 164 00:08:33,734 --> 00:08:35,904 (grunts) 165 00:08:36,033 --> 00:08:39,233 -Ana, a round of Ale for these whores... uh, I mean nuns! 166 00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:42,167 -I'm busy. Rafe and Gabe caught this animal a few days ago 167 00:08:42,300 --> 00:08:44,900 and it seems to have the ability to self-heal! 168 00:08:45,033 --> 00:08:48,633 -Oh, c'mon. Put away that silly science stuff and come party! 169 00:08:48,767 --> 00:08:50,467 -Dwayne, no! This is my bar 170 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,700 and the only place in town I can do my research 171 00:08:52,834 --> 00:08:55,204 without being disturbed by you backwater yokels. 172 00:08:55,333 --> 00:08:57,573 -Ana, these are guests in our town 173 00:08:57,700 --> 00:09:00,070 and it's my mayoral edict 174 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,430 that you serve them some refreshments! 175 00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:04,697 -Yeah, c'mon, Ana. The mayor decrees: 176 00:09:04,834 --> 00:09:07,604 get these nuns fu-fu-f(beep)-up! 177 00:09:07,734 --> 00:09:09,274 -No! I'm not serving tonight. 178 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,930 -You thinking what I'm thinking? 179 00:09:12,066 --> 00:09:13,926 (Ana screams.) 180 00:09:14,066 --> 00:09:16,026 (angry grunts) 181 00:09:16,166 --> 00:09:18,796 -The drinks are on the house! 182 00:09:18,934 --> 00:09:20,434 (cheering, upbeat music) 183 00:09:23,266 --> 00:09:26,266 (women giggling) 184 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:28,670 -Why aren't there any hot male nuns? 185 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,930 -You're thinking of monks. -Monkeys? 186 00:09:31,066 --> 00:09:34,196 -No, monks! But if you're in bestiality, 187 00:09:34,333 --> 00:09:37,233 you should know, I may be half-stag 188 00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,767 but I'm all man where it counts. 189 00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:41,870 -Not if you were the last half-man, 190 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,170 half-stag on earth, Dwayne-O. 191 00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:47,900 -Oh, I'm sorry, princess. 192 00:09:48,033 --> 00:09:51,133 Hang on, I think I've found you a knight in shining armour. 193 00:09:52,233 --> 00:09:54,533 -Jesus Christ! 194 00:09:54,667 --> 00:09:56,467 You're trying to get me killed? 195 00:09:56,600 --> 00:09:59,170 Besides, this pig-dog is your type! 196 00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:02,070 (screams) 197 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,970 -What are you idiots doing? Don't set it loose! 198 00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:07,430 -It's a party! Let the Beast have a little fun too! 199 00:10:07,567 --> 00:10:09,997 -Suzette, give me the key. (Dwayne laughs.) 200 00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:16,697 -I've never seen two people more made for each other. 201 00:10:16,834 --> 00:10:18,804 Soulmates in selfishness! 202 00:10:18,934 --> 00:10:21,874 -You're telling me the fricking warthog 203 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,600 has the key to these chains? Come on, Dwayne! 204 00:10:23,734 --> 00:10:25,704 -Hey, you guys gonna let me out or... 205 00:10:25,834 --> 00:10:27,874 (disco music) 206 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:32,870 Whoa, he is rocking those yoga pants. Boom! 207 00:10:40,066 --> 00:10:42,066 -So, did I hear Father Manilla right? 208 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,970 You and Rafe? How can you do that to poor old Johnny? 209 00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:49,030 -Excuse me? I'm pretty sure "poor old Johnny" was banging 210 00:10:49,166 --> 00:10:51,966 truck stop waitresses two at a time back before "boomsday". 211 00:10:52,100 --> 00:10:53,770 -That was a mouthful. And point taken. 212 00:10:53,900 --> 00:10:56,700 Still though, what's wrong with us? Waking up on main street. 213 00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:59,934 -We locked your girlfriend in a cage, man. 214 00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,303 -And we crucified a priest. 215 00:11:04,266 --> 00:11:07,966 (bursts of laughter) 216 00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:13,967 -Oh, God! Where am I? 217 00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:15,970 (grunt) 218 00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:19,200 Yes! Eat me! Eat me! Please! 219 00:11:19,333 --> 00:11:23,033 (grunt) Oh! Aw... 220 00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:29,500 (retching and sniffing) 221 00:11:29,633 --> 00:11:33,233 Aw... I can't even get eaten by a monster? 222 00:11:33,367 --> 00:11:36,767 What the hell kinda shitty post-apocalypse is this? 223 00:11:40,633 --> 00:11:44,703 (grunt) -Huh? Oh God, they're back. 224 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,174 Quit it with the axe-throwing, you guys! 225 00:11:47,300 --> 00:11:49,430 I've taken more shots to the face than a porn star! 226 00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:50,927 -Yeah, that's great. 227 00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:52,626 Veej, did you see a huge pig-type thing run by? 228 00:11:52,767 --> 00:11:54,997 -Uh, did we do this to you, Vijay? 229 00:11:55,133 --> 00:11:57,333 -You... You don't remember? 230 00:11:57,467 --> 00:12:00,667 You two were absolutely frigging insane last night! 231 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,200 -(Suzette): Who rules the world? 232 00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:05,003 -(Dwayne): Dwayne and Suzette! 233 00:12:05,133 --> 00:12:07,073 -Okay, guys, be careful. 234 00:12:07,200 --> 00:12:09,070 My face might be a dartboard, 235 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,930 but the rest of me is flesh and... Blood! 236 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,670 It was terrifying... 237 00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:19,630 but also kind of majestic and incredible, fam! 238 00:12:19,767 --> 00:12:21,667 Are you guys, like, together now? 239 00:12:21,800 --> 00:12:23,700 Are you gonna combine your names? 240 00:12:23,834 --> 00:12:26,174 Like "Dwuzette"... "Swayne"! 241 00:12:26,300 --> 00:12:28,800 -(together): Shut up, Vijay! 242 00:12:28,934 --> 00:12:31,034 (sniffing) 243 00:12:31,166 --> 00:12:35,026 -Take it easy there, pig fella! 244 00:12:35,166 --> 00:12:36,966 -What are you doing? 245 00:12:37,100 --> 00:12:38,970 -I don't frigging know. It seems friendly. 246 00:12:44,033 --> 00:12:46,803 Oh... (happy grunts) 247 00:12:48,867 --> 00:12:50,527 (laughing) 248 00:12:50,667 --> 00:12:54,727 Jesus Christ, Suzette! -What? We need that key! 249 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,730 (threatening snarl) 250 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,530 -A true power couple. 251 00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,897 You love to see it... Yeah. 252 00:13:09,033 --> 00:13:12,603 (Suzette pants.) -(Dwayne): Ow... Ow! 253 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:16,370 (long scream) 254 00:13:16,500 --> 00:13:18,600 -Come on! It's gaining on us! 255 00:13:18,734 --> 00:13:22,434 -Hey! We don't all do Crossfit every morning, Suzette! 256 00:13:22,567 --> 00:13:25,397 -Ugh... Come here! 257 00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:31,403 -I don't care for this, but I do prefer it to the dragging. 258 00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:36,273 -Shit! 259 00:13:36,400 --> 00:13:38,100 -(together): Ah! 260 00:13:38,233 --> 00:13:41,133 (screaming, panting) 261 00:13:41,266 --> 00:13:42,966 (Dwayne screams.) 262 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,330 (long scream) 263 00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,670 (grunting, panting) -Oh... no, no, no! 264 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,830 -Dwayne! Lose the pants! 265 00:13:55,967 --> 00:13:58,697 -No! They look so good! 266 00:14:03,266 --> 00:14:05,066 -Dwayne! -Oh... 267 00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:06,670 No! 268 00:14:06,800 --> 00:14:08,400 Ha, ha! 269 00:14:08,533 --> 00:14:11,773 Yoga pants! 270 00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:14,800 (Suzette grunts.) 271 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,700 -They were my pants, Dwayne. 272 00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:20,234 -You never cared for them like I did. 273 00:14:21,433 --> 00:14:23,003 Can I have mine back? 274 00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,933 -No. -Argh! 275 00:14:30,967 --> 00:14:33,097 (sad moaning) 276 00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:34,973 -Whoa, Johnny. 277 00:14:35,100 --> 00:14:37,670 No offence, but you look like shit. What happened? 278 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:40,070 -Oh, it's all pointless, Danika. 279 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:41,970 I just want to end it. 280 00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:45,030 But I'm trapped in this gelatinous prison. 281 00:14:45,166 --> 00:14:46,796 -Look, I don't think you should kill yourself, 282 00:14:46,934 --> 00:14:49,404 but I am a supporter of dying with dignity. 283 00:14:49,533 --> 00:14:51,403 If you really want it done, quick and painless, 284 00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:54,103 you could probably jump into the sinkhole at the Oasis. 285 00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:57,597 -You're a genius! 286 00:14:57,734 --> 00:14:59,274 -But I don't think you should do it. 287 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,870 -Thanks Danika. Where are you going with all that weed stuff? 288 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,900 -I'm vibing with the nuns, actually. 289 00:15:05,033 --> 00:15:06,503 They wanted some ganja! 290 00:15:06,633 --> 00:15:08,533 -Ah, sounds fun. Anyways, see you. 291 00:15:08,667 --> 00:15:10,827 -Don't do it, but if you do, 292 00:15:10,967 --> 00:15:13,867 have a good suicide! -Ha! Ha! Okay! 293 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:21,470 -Good job saving us back there. 294 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,770 You know, I've always admired your muscly, 295 00:15:23,900 --> 00:15:26,070 prehensile monkey tail. 296 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:27,970 -All right, calm down. Just because 297 00:15:28,100 --> 00:15:30,270 we're chained together doesn't mean this needs to get weird. 298 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,530 -We're well past weird. If we stay chained together, 299 00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:34,527 nature's just gonna take its course again. 300 00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,897 -Well, we can just cross that bridge when we get to it. 301 00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:39,603 -Wait, are you saying you wouldn't mind if we... 302 00:15:39,734 --> 00:15:41,834 -I'm not giving up on a life without you just yet. 303 00:15:41,967 --> 00:15:43,327 Let's think. 304 00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:45,097 If the key wasn't in the Beast, 305 00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:47,103 maybe we got it back somehow last night? 306 00:15:47,233 --> 00:15:49,233 -Who haven't we talked to yet? 307 00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,497 Maybe we're still missing part of the night. 308 00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:54,273 -Danika! -Oh! Yeah. Oops. My daughter. 309 00:15:58,400 --> 00:15:59,870 Danika! 310 00:16:00,066 --> 00:16:02,366 God, what is that funk? 311 00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:05,030 -Smells like hot ass in here! 312 00:16:05,166 --> 00:16:06,526 -Damn right it does. 313 00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:09,697 -Wow. OK. Well, I'm gonna look the other way on this one 314 00:16:09,834 --> 00:16:13,074 only because as you can see, Suzette and I are in a crisis. 315 00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:15,600 -Seems like it. Where's your pants? 316 00:16:15,734 --> 00:16:19,904 -I lost them in a very serious, unhumorous accident. 317 00:16:20,033 --> 00:16:22,533 -Yeah, I'll bet! -Okay, Miss Cool guy! 318 00:16:22,667 --> 00:16:24,367 We just wanna know if you know anything about 319 00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,870 what happened last night. 320 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,730 Like where the key is for these shackles? 321 00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:30,097 -No. But thanks for letting these girls into town. 322 00:16:30,233 --> 00:16:32,733 Did you take all of the drugs they bribed you with? 323 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:35,767 -Wait, what? (sombre music) 324 00:16:35,900 --> 00:16:37,300 Sorry sisters, but we don't 325 00:16:37,433 --> 00:16:39,773 generally allow strangers in St. Zephyr. 326 00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:42,300 (laughter) -Oh! 327 00:16:43,934 --> 00:16:45,704 -But come on in! 328 00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,674 (Sisters laugh. Dwayne sniffs.) 329 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:50,170 Ha! Ha! Ha! 330 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:52,500 I do not remember that. -Wait! I do! 331 00:16:52,633 --> 00:16:54,603 You busted it out after we met at the church. 332 00:16:54,734 --> 00:16:58,234 -So we didn't get messed up on edibles. It was "snortables". 333 00:16:58,367 --> 00:17:00,727 -Keeping it classy. Hey, did you know Johnny is about 334 00:17:00,867 --> 00:17:03,397 to throw himself into the Oasis sinkhole because of you two? 335 00:17:03,533 --> 00:17:06,473 -Oh my God, I didn't even think of Johnny once today. 336 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:09,930 I'm the worst! Hey, do you think if we wrap this up soon, 337 00:17:10,066 --> 00:17:12,166 I'll have time to take a bath and dye my roots? 338 00:17:12,300 --> 00:17:16,100 Oh wait, sorry, Johnny, killing himself. Right. Focus! 339 00:17:17,100 --> 00:17:20,570 -At least put some tarps down or something, Danika! 340 00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:23,030 (gargling) 341 00:17:26,033 --> 00:17:28,333 (sad moaning) 342 00:17:29,333 --> 00:17:30,873 -Uh? 343 00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,070 (dramatic music) 344 00:17:36,567 --> 00:17:38,867 (scared moaning) 345 00:17:41,367 --> 00:17:44,797 Ah... Well, if the fall doesn't kill me, 346 00:17:44,934 --> 00:17:47,204 chances are I'll starve to death down there. 347 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,900 Thank God for small favours. 348 00:17:51,033 --> 00:17:52,673 -(Suzette): Johnny! 349 00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,230 -Don't bother, Suzette. 350 00:17:54,367 --> 00:17:57,067 I'm not the man for you anymore. You and Dwayne 351 00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,830 are obviously meant for each other. 352 00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,427 -Maybe, but it's not what I want! 353 00:18:00,567 --> 00:18:02,367 -Of course, it is! 354 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:03,970 You're both alphas. 355 00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:07,670 Like I used to be before I became this... monstrosity. 356 00:18:09,633 --> 00:18:11,433 (horrified gasp) 357 00:18:13,367 --> 00:18:16,567 (sobbing) -Johnny! 358 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,570 You can't jump! Please! 359 00:18:22,066 --> 00:18:23,626 I love you! 360 00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:26,867 Every gross fold and weird bump. 361 00:18:28,100 --> 00:18:31,100 I know things aren't the same as before the apocalypse, 362 00:18:31,233 --> 00:18:34,673 and maybe Dwayne does make more sense for me now... 363 00:18:36,333 --> 00:18:39,303 I guess some kind of bond made us sleep together. 364 00:18:39,433 --> 00:18:42,073 I don't know. Sorry, honeybutt! 365 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,200 (diving board clanking) 366 00:18:50,734 --> 00:18:53,374 Johnny, no! 367 00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,100 -Sleep together? 368 00:18:55,233 --> 00:18:57,433 No! You two assholes didn't sleep together! 369 00:18:57,567 --> 00:18:58,867 (Johnny): Oh! 370 00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,870 -So we didn't do the horizontal mambo? 371 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,530 -Also you can talk? -Naturally! 372 00:19:02,667 --> 00:19:04,427 Not that anyone of you ever bothered to ask. 373 00:19:04,567 --> 00:19:06,997 I simply wanted to join your town and was shackled! 374 00:19:07,133 --> 00:19:09,073 It's Sidney, by the way. 375 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,570 -Never mind that! How do you know we didn't sleep together? 376 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,000 -I was there when you passed out in the middle of town. 377 00:19:14,133 --> 00:19:16,803 All you did was bicker over who got more of the mattress. 378 00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:19,274 -Huh! I bet she got more, too. 379 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:21,270 -Yeah, you're like an old married couple. 380 00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:23,700 Including the celibacy. 381 00:19:23,834 --> 00:19:25,774 -My Johnny... He's gone. 382 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,330 At least, he died knowing I stayed loyal to him... 383 00:19:28,467 --> 00:19:29,997 this one time. 384 00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:33,597 -This is death? 385 00:19:33,734 --> 00:19:37,004 Just me alone by myself for all eternity? 386 00:19:37,133 --> 00:19:38,973 God, I've gone from a living nightmare 387 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:41,200 to an existential one! 388 00:19:42,300 --> 00:19:44,970 Oh, f(beep) this! I'm out! 389 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,670 (sobbing) 390 00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,600 (grunting, panting) 391 00:19:50,734 --> 00:19:53,074 Whoa, it's true! 392 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,200 I really can't die! 393 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,800 -Free, at last! Free! 394 00:20:03,934 --> 00:20:05,674 -The key must've gotten stuck to you when you were 395 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,630 stuck inside of me! -You were inside this thing? 396 00:20:08,767 --> 00:20:10,797 You dirty, two-timing hypocrite! 397 00:20:10,934 --> 00:20:12,804 -No, he swallowed me! 398 00:20:12,934 --> 00:20:14,874 -I don't care if he swallowed! 399 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,670 Oh, you mean literally? 400 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,900 (retching) 401 00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:21,303 -The yoga pants! 402 00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:24,033 Come on... (grunting in effort) 403 00:20:24,166 --> 00:20:26,026 -So you heard, right? 404 00:20:26,166 --> 00:20:28,466 I didn't cheat on you after all... with Dwayne. 405 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,200 -Then with who? -No one! Shut up. Stop talking. 406 00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:34,473 -Wait, did you talk me out of jumping because you love me 407 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:37,500 or because I had that key? -Can't it be both? 408 00:20:37,633 --> 00:20:40,533 -I guess I have to love you for who you are too. 409 00:20:42,033 --> 00:20:45,773 -Ugh, doesn't she know where that thing's been? 410 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:52,330 -Help me! Help! The Brides of Christ are taking over! 411 00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:55,167 -Dad, the hot nuns are refusing to leave! 412 00:20:55,300 --> 00:20:57,270 They say St. Zephyr is their town now. 413 00:20:57,400 --> 00:21:00,630 -Dammit, you just can't trust clergy people these days! 414 00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:05,100 Christ, I can't even right now. 415 00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:07,233 I do not wanna fight a bunch of nuns! 416 00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:08,867 -My brother! 417 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,670 Oh, thank God you're still alive! 418 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:14,200 I found the perfect way to kill you! Drowning. 419 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:17,173 If we leave now and march East, we'll hit the ocean eventually. 420 00:21:17,300 --> 00:21:21,170 -Sorry, Manson, I want to live. 421 00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:22,830 -Aw man, come on! 422 00:21:22,967 --> 00:21:25,697 I hate quitters almost as much as I hate No-Mos. 423 00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:27,974 That's my new word for non-mutants. 424 00:21:28,100 --> 00:21:30,700 Anyway, you suck, Jetsie Jizzface! 425 00:21:30,834 --> 00:21:32,374 (horny chuckles) 426 00:21:32,500 --> 00:21:36,000 (silly laugh) Who are they? 427 00:21:37,166 --> 00:21:39,166 (happy laughter) 428 00:21:39,300 --> 00:21:41,300 -Musicians, man. Pff! 429 00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,933 Those bastards get all the chicks. Am I right? 430 00:21:45,934 --> 00:21:50,704 Closed Captioning: Épilogue Technical Services Inc.