It's gonna be strange,
Charlie being so far away from home.
Trust me, two months with his dad
will be enough for Charlie.
And what about Ruby?
Ah, well, apparently they're gonna stay together,
but they're gonna be open to seeing other people.
Oh, very bohemian! I approve.
But what if he meets another girl, he falls in love,
and then he wants to stay there?
Then we'll visit.
Don't they have bears in Canada?
Not in Toronto, Mum.
When you're running away, you have to zig-zag.
It confuses them.
No, that's crocodiles.
With bears, I think you're meant to make yourself really big
and wave your arms around and shout.
Oh, right. Well, while you're doing that,
I'll be running away.
You know this is what separates us from the DFLs, don't you?
What, practical footwear?
Some of them have been living down here for years,
and they still run into the sea
like they're treading on hot coals.
Don't worry, he'll be back in no time.
Come on, I'll get the kettle on.
Oh, you've finally mowed the lawn!
Oh, yeah, yeah.
What's that noise?
Is that the shower?
Mum!
What are you playing at?!
Scatterbrain.
I've lost the plot.
You better book me on the next flight to Switzerland.
Oh, Switzerland's a bit far.
Be cheaper to chuck you under a bus.
No more Bloody Marys
for breakfast!
♪ There once was a place with my little lovely ♪
♪ Wey hey ho ♪
♪ And I'll seek and I'll search, and I know that I'll find it ♪
♪ Wey hey ho ♪
♪ I know the wind, she blows ♪
♪ I know the tides are low ♪
♪ But you'll find me at the white post ♪
♪ You'll find me at the white post ♪
Morning?
Oh, no. Oh, Dawnie! Dawnie, Dawnie.
Oh, my darling, you're hurt.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Don't worry, I've got you, I've got you.
Oh, it's okay. Oh, my darling!
You're okay now. You're okay.
I usually lock up.
Dawn goes home and makes the dinner
while I dot the I's and cross the T's.
Any normal night, it would've been me.
Oh, I'm glad it was me.
He's got a weak heart. This would've finished him.
Why didn't you lock up?
I was away with friends.
On a treasure hunt.
A forensic search of the Kent coastline.
Saddos with metal detectors.
Centuries of shipwrecks, you know?
Gold coins, silver ingots.
Then there's the ambergris.
Ambergris?
Whale vomit.
- Oh. - Washed up and hardened.
It's a rare, but vital ingredient in perfume.
It's worth a small fortune.
There was a month's takings in the safe.
More if you include the till.
I mean, it wasn't a fortune, but it was all we had.
You got to find who did this.
I don't care how you do it or what rules you have to bend,
I want you to break their fingers one by one.
Something's not right.
What, the husband?
Well, let's see if his alibi checks out.
No, I mean something's not right 'cause this is normally
when Pearl rocks up to give us all the local knowledge.
I might as well call her. Get the inside track.
Put the phone down.
We're solving this one on our own.
If they're not coming we're gonna need a new name.
Mm.
Quizzly Bears. One for Charlie.
No bears in Toronto.
I'm Smarticus?
No. I'm Smarticus.
Ah, I could text Kat.
Oh, don't bother.
They're probably having a night in.
Couscous and Rightmove.
Searching for their "forever home."
Leave it.
Be more fun just us two anyway.
I'm game.
Tupac? As in Shakur?
Working in the Aldi in Herne bay?
Yeah. I mean, it is an amazing story.
But, um...
I don't think I'll take that case.
Thanks, bye.
Blimey.
You haven't got any dead celebrities
you want me to track down, have you?
Marilyn Monroe's not living it up in a care home in Maidstone?
No.
But...
...I do want to hire you.
As a detective.
- Okay. - I think I'm being robbed.
Things keep going missing at home.
Food from the fridge, stuff that I know I bought.
And I know that I took a tenner out of the cashpoint especially.
And when I opened my purse, it wasn't there.
Why would someone want to break into your house
to nick a tenner or food out of your fridge?
Let me finish.
You know the other day when we came home.
When you left the shower on?
Yeah, but I didn't, I know I didn't!
I'm sure of it.
And someone mowed the lawn, because I didn't do that either.
And this morning, I was asleep, and the smoke alarm went off.
And there was toast burning in the kitchen.
It's an oddball burglar.
And I am hiring you to find them.
You honestly think someone's breaking into your house
to make toast and mow the lawn?
I know it sounds crazy, but it's the only explanation.
It's not the only explanation.
Have you seen a doctor?
Listen, Pearl.
You're a detective, you're not a brain surgeon.
And I am not hiring you to give me medical advice.
I just want this burglar caught.
Okay.
I went on a date the other day.
It was nice.
We met online.
Um...
We like the same things.
We agreed to take it slow.
Um, when I got back, I wanted to tell somebody all about it.
So I picked up the phone, and I called my wife.
She didn't answer obviously.
I called my wife to tell her I'd been on a date.
And I don't know how to make sense of that.
I used to march against things like this.
My house is a surveillance state.
Do you want to catch this weirdo or not?
These cameras, they're linked to your laptop?
So you can spy on me?
Hypothetically.
- But you won't. - No.
Because you respect my privacy.
Because I've got better things to do.
You think I'm going loopy.
Let's give it a few days.
A week. See what we find.
We tracked him from the back of your shop.
Then he turns down a side street and disappears from view.
Do you recognize him?
He could be a customer? A regular?
Or someone who came in for the first time recently?
No, it all happened so fast.
But he's the person that robbed me.
I can't tell you any more.
- You sure? - Yes.
I saw you're closing the shop.
I can't go back in there.
Not now.
My parents ran it before us.
As a newsagents.
It was his idea to change it.
I was future proofing.
Well no one wants newspapers any more.
No one wants ancient crap either.
You were losing money?
We speculate to accumulate.
He's a dreamer. Head in the clouds.
She's still in shock.
Yeah, but he feels guilty. So he's finally listening to me.
Stop smiling!
They've got really strict security.
It's Canada, not North Korea.
They waterboard you if they think you're taking the piss.
Have you noticed anything different about Dolly?
Well, she was nice to Tom the other day.
So that was a bit weird.
I don't know.
I think she's really struggling at home on her own.
She left the shower on all day.
And she swears she doesn't remember doing it, but...
I'm worried about her.
I might ask her to move in.
Look, is this your way of trying to guilt trip me
into making sure that I come home?
No, it's my way of telling you that I'm gonna offer
Dolly your room.
Anyway, you are coming back home.
Yeah, yeah, I know. University.
No. They won't let you in the country with those.
You idiot.
Alright, come on. Let's get some together.
Oh, no, Charlie.
Oh, come on. Don't be such a sour puss.
Come on then.
I'm really gonna miss you, mate.
Yeah, you too.
What we got?
Our burglar. Carl "Cheese" Crow.
Cheese?
Yeah, he's a deejay.
Local cheese nights.
Plays "The One and Only" on loop.
We could arrest him just for that.
How'd you find him?
Pearl.
I got you.
It was actually all my own police work, thanks.
Carl's got a record. Breaking and entering.
He's also got a website.
Recognize the logo?
Alright.
And guess who his aunt is.
It's Dawn.
You reckon she still wants us to break his fingers?
- Thank you, thank you. Bye. - Cheers, bye.
Dawn must have recognized him.
She's covering for him.
Or she's in on it. Insurance job.
Yeah, well, the shop was losing money.
They could have faked the robbery
while Ian was away hunting for whale puke.
Bit weird the way they were talking to each other,
don't you think?
Or maybe that's how you make a relationship work these days?
Yeah, whatever it takes.
My girlfriend's a duvet hog.
Therefore, I buy her her own duvet.
Girlfriend?
Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, this is priceless.
You didn't know?
How long have we been working together?
Of course I knew.
Got ya.
That's not funny.
Let's play this one smart.
See if we can get Cheese to talk.
Oh, so you're saying I can break his fingers?
Well, let's start with the charm offensive.
Oh, that'll be on me then.
I can be respectful.
Carl Crow?
- Yeah. - We'd like a word.
Can we come in?
Aah!
Carl, no!
Get off!
- Stay still. - Get off me!
Very respectful.
Okay.
Are you ready?
You're talking to yourself.
Well, you do that when you live alone. You'll find out.
Oh, you can fast forward this bit.
Mum! You're smoking!
You gave up.
We sponsored you for charity!
"You sponsored me for charity"
Uh, stop, stop.
Who's that?
Oh, my God.
Well, who is he?
- I don't know. - Mum!
Mum, there's a stranger living in your garage
stealing your stuff.
Do you think he's in there now?
Probably.
Yeah.
Hello! Why aren't you freaking out?
Oh, I thought I was losing my mind.
Honestly, I feel like punching the air.
I think you are losing your mind.
No. I'm not, because now finally,
everything makes sense.
I'm calling the police.
- No, wait. - Mum.
He could've murdered you in your sleep.
But he didn't!
Look, look. Come and look at this.
What's he doing?
Well, I think he's paying me back.
He's replacing everything he took.
I'm still gonna call the police.
No.
Put the knife down.
And the phone.
Mum.
What are you doing?
I'm gonna make him a cup of tea.
We come in peace.
I'm Dolly, and this is my daughter Pearl.
I'm Bill.
Why don't we all go inside?
I'm so sorry.
I've had a few problems lately.
I lost my job.
I just started to drink too much.
Well, you took a bottle of whiskey off my Mum.
I didn't touch a drop though.
I was tempted.
You took other stuff. We've got it all on camera.
Yeah, but then you-- you put everything back.
Like the money, the food.
You really scared her.
I'm sorry.
Like I say, I was in a bad way.
Some mental health issues and...
But I've got a job now.
Fruit picking.
It's not much, but the first wage packet I got,
I paid you back every penny.
I know that's no excuse.
Why me? Why my garage?
Well, I was dossing up on the high street
in a shop doorway.
And then they put all these metal studs down outside.
Oh, the spikes.
It's not really conducive to a good night's kip.
Makes my blood boil.
So like I say, it was a cold night.
I saw the garage and...
I just needed to get out of the cold and the wind.
I didn't plan on staying.
And there's no one else you can stay with?
No friends or family?
Not anymore, no.
Well, you can't carry on sleeping in my garden.
I know.
Look, I'll get going.
Why don't you stay in my spare room?
Mum!
Just for tonight.
I'm gonna stay here tonight.
No, don't be silly. Go home.
I'm not gonna leave you with a total stranger.
Pearl, I'm fine.
Right, well leave all the cameras on.
And go to bed with your pepper spray.
And that knife.
All this detective work has made you cynical.
We've got no idea who he is!
He's got kind eyes and a nice smile.
And anyway, don't you think it's a bit of a mystery
how he ended up here?
Surely you'd like to solve that.
Don't you think it's a bit weird
that he hasn't got any friends or family at all?
I think we should call the police.
Pearl, go home.
- This is rude. - Just go!
It's cold in Canada.
And what's so good about skiing?
It's just rich kids falling down a hill.
Gravity does most of the work, doesn't it?
Here he comes.
He hasn't killed her at least.
Right, you're going traveling,
and you want to earn a bit of extra money, okay?
That's your cover story.
And what, follow him?
Try and work with him. Get talking.
See if he's telling the truth.
I'm like a spy or a secret agent.
Yeah, well, you're a waitress pretending to be
a fruit picker following a homeless bloke, so...
Go on.
- See you. - See you later.
Can we have a word?
You must have known it was Carl.
I told you. Everything happened so fast.
I didn't have time to think.
What about the CCTV, hm?
The logo. Cheese.
You can't miss it.
Idiot.
Why were you covering for him?
What, covering for Carl?
No, no, no, no.
The shop was losing money.
You knew the insurance would pay out.
You staged the robbery. You and Carl.
Carl hasn't got the brains he was born with.
Look, I'm tired. Don't make me say it.
You weren't covering for Carl.
You were covering for Ian.
I stayed late.
Just, I don't know, trying to make sense of the accounts.
Ian thought I'd be at home.
And Carl took it too far.
Does Ian know you know?
Look, he's a good man.
He'd never hurt me.
But he's always looking for an easy answer.
Anybody else would have filed for bankruptcy.
He came up with this.
He's a dreamer.
Okay, I've got-- I know why you're here, okay?
But just bear with me.
A Spanish galleon, right, the Santa Maria,
sank off this stretch of coast in the late 16th century.
And the spoils were never found.
We're talking jewels and silver and gold,
buried somewhere on this beach.
It's a fortune.
It could change your life around.
We could split it three ways.
The lost treasure of the Santa Maria.
You're nicked, mate.
Come on.
I'm sunburnt, I've got blisters on my hands,
and I never want to see another strawberry again.
You are a trooper.
What about Bill?
He seems for real. He works hard.
Shared his lunch with one of the lads that didn't have any.
I like him.
He's got a kind eyes.
Great.
What do you mean he's staying?
It's just till he finds his feet.
Oh, I'm gonna get you some of those spikes
and put them by your front door.
Look, Bill needs somewhere to live, I like the company.
It's win-win.
One minute, he's stealing from you, and now he's your roomie.
I mean, don't you think it's a bit fast, Mum?
We're taking one day at a time.
He could be using you.
He's weeded both the gardens, he's fixed the tiles
on the roof, he's even cleaned the oven.
He's working like a dog.
Hmm, but he's not paying any rent, is he?
You really are Thatcher's daughter.
Mum, taxi's here.
Oh.
Right, you call me as soon as you land.
I will, I will.
And then call me again when you get to your Dad's.
- Yeah, okay. - Bye, bye, darling.
See you.
- And if you see a bear... - Zig-zags.
Oh, no, wait, sorry. Make myself big.
Scream and shout.
Oh, just leg it. Let it eat your Dad.
Let me help with your bags.
Pearl, let, uh, Ruby do that.
Oh, yeah, of course.
I love you, Mum.
I love you, too.
- Have an amazing time. - I will.
You will look after her when I'm gone, won't you?
I will, I promise.
What?
Okay.
Where are you?
Right.
I'm on my way. I'm coming now.
Mike? It's Pearl.
Hey.
What's going on?
Mike?
What's going on?
Nothing, it's stupid.
I broke a glass in the kitchen.
I didn't know what to do.
Okay.
Maybe clean it up.
Do you want me to do that?
Can you get rid of it, please?
Of course.
What was that? A panic attack?
It's pathetic.
Well...
when you called, I was spying on my mum.
So, how's that for pathetic?
I think she's got a new boyfriend.
It's a long story.
That glass.
It was a present from my wife for my--
for my 30th birthday.
Hm.
"Mike. Established 1982."
Yeah. She thought it was funny.
She had a good sense of humor.
I never used that glass.
Just seeing it smashed on the floor like that...
Why did you call me?
Why not Kat?
Hey, are you all right?
Anymore breakages?
Yeah, listen.
I've done some digging for you.
Dolly's burglar slash boyfriend.
- Bill. - His full name's
Graham William Tait.
- Go on. - You ain't gonna like this.
We need to talk.
Mum...
He's been in prison...
...for murder.
He killed his Dad.
I know.
What do you mean you know?
Mum, you're scaring me.
Pearl, please hear him out.
My father was ill.
He had Parkinson's and the beginning of Alzheimer's.
I gave up work to, to care for him full time.
He was suffering.
But he could handle that.
He was a hard man.
But what he couldn't bear
was losing his mind.
He was quite lucid when-- when he first asked me to do it.
But I said I couldn't.
I couldn't do it, no way.
But then he started-- he started to beg.
And I knew that I-- it would cost me everything.
But, you know,
I was there for my father when he needed me, at the end.
And I wouldn't change that for a thing.
I'm sorry.
I am. I'm sorry.
But I...
I get it.
You're worried about your mum.
Yeah.
Bill, will you give us a minute?
Yeah, of course.
Mum...
Let's go to the beach.
I don't get it.
The broken glass upset you because it reminded you of--
- Of my wife. - So you called Pearl
and not me.
- I didn't think... - What?
What?!
I didn't think you could handle it.
And what's that supposed to mean?
We don't talk about them. My wife. Your husband.
Because we agreed we're moving on.
To what? To poker nights and quiz nights and church?
It's called a social life.
- There's no space. - For what?
- To be lonely? - To be sad.
I don't want to be sad!
You talk in your sleep, you know?
You say her name.
You called Pearl and not me.
And not because of a smashed glass, or your wife, or me.
You called Pearl...
because you love her, don't you?
You love Pearl.
I'm worried, Mum.
Me too.
I get it.
You were really scared that you were sick,
and then we found an explanation,
and you've got this whole new lease of life.
But you've got to remember
Bill's the reason you were scared.
I can't just ignore that.
I think you were looking forward to me moving in.
Wait, you're worried about me?
Charlie's left.
You're on your own for the first time.
I'm not on my own. I've got Tom.
It's scary.
I know the feeling.
I feel as if I've been alone for a long time now.
So be happy for me.
And think about what makes you happy, too.
♪ La-la la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪ La-la la la-la ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪
♪ Oooh ♪
♪ La-la la-la la la-la-la ♪