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Downloaded from
YTS.MX
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.MX
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MAN: Love, the most
powerful force in the universe.
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00:00:18,990 --> 00:00:21,254
Or so some say.
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00:00:21,356 --> 00:00:25,999
At the dawn of mankind,
the selection of a mate
was a matter of survival.
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00:00:26,135 --> 00:00:28,000
Eventually, people began
to choose partners
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00:00:28,102 --> 00:00:30,064
out of loyalty
to family or tribe.
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00:00:30,199 --> 00:00:33,173
The industrial revolution
gave us the telegraph
and the telephone,
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00:00:33,309 --> 00:00:35,469
the 90's the internet,
and today, with the metaverse
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00:00:35,605 --> 00:00:37,342
nearly indistinguishable
from real life,
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00:00:37,478 --> 00:00:42,347
most of us prefer to live,
laugh, and love virtually.
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00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:44,717
Who am I?
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My name is Roddy Danger.
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00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,751
And this is where it all began.
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I was working part time
stocking shelves
to pay the bills,
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00:00:56,526 --> 00:00:58,228
maybe even earn
a few extra credits
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00:00:58,330 --> 00:00:59,793
for a power-up
or some new skins.
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00:00:59,928 --> 00:01:02,467
I mean, I always believed
I was destined for more,
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but I didn't have
the confidence
to go after it...
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00:01:05,905 --> 00:01:07,570
until I met her.
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[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
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[TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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[UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]
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Kimberly and I
have been together ever since.
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00:01:28,764 --> 00:01:32,994
We've explored every inch
of the metaverse together.
She's been my rock.
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00:01:33,129 --> 00:01:35,562
She was the one
who encouraged me
to pursue gaming full-time.
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00:01:35,698 --> 00:01:37,604
KIMBERLY: Here.
I want you to have this.
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RODDY: And as we grew together,
so did my spot
on the leaderboard.
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00:01:40,073 --> 00:01:41,472
I was on top of the world...
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00:01:41,607 --> 00:01:43,710
KIMBERLY: I'm so proud of you.
I knew you could it.
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00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,406
RODDY: ...until I wasn't.
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00:01:46,508 --> 00:01:47,874
It was a crippling defeat.
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00:01:48,009 --> 00:01:51,218
KIMBERLY: Hey, did you maybe
wanna get up today?
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00:01:51,354 --> 00:01:53,781
RODDY: For a while,
I just felt like
I couldn't win.
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00:01:53,916 --> 00:01:56,988
When I fell apart,
my relationship took the hit.
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00:01:57,090 --> 00:02:01,094
KIMBERLY: No, it's fine.
Uh, we don't have to celebrate
my birthday this year.
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00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,056
This is the second time
this is happening.
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00:02:03,158 --> 00:02:05,958
I'm going to stay at my mom's
virtual cabin in New Hampshire.
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00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:08,668
RODDY: I don't blame her
for giving me an ultimatum.
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00:02:08,770 --> 00:02:11,101
KIMBERLY: Okay.
But this is your
last chance, Roddy. I mean it.
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00:02:11,237 --> 00:02:15,836
RODDY: I'm lucky she gave me
another chance and this time,
I had to get it right.
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[GIRL COUGHING]
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[BEEPS]
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[BEEPING]
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[ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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[DIGITAL BEEPS]
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Seriously?
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00:03:37,693 --> 00:03:39,722
[BEEPING]
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[ENCHANTING MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:04:03,181 --> 00:04:05,149
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
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00:04:05,251 --> 00:04:06,984
KALVIN: What is it, Shifrin?
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00:04:07,086 --> 00:04:09,048
Sir. [STUTTERS] Sir.
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I... Ugh.
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[CABIN OPENS]
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[HISSES]
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- [COUGHS]
- [STUTTERING] Thousand apologies
for the interruption.
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00:04:32,040 --> 00:04:34,942
It seems very urgent.
You have a fight request.
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00:04:42,419 --> 00:04:44,787
Well, who might you be?
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00:04:50,293 --> 00:04:51,761
Subscribe.
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00:04:53,098 --> 00:04:54,434
I accept.
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00:05:06,479 --> 00:05:08,914
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Kluck versus Danger.
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00:05:09,049 --> 00:05:12,179
Three, two, one.
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00:05:12,314 --> 00:05:13,816
Fight.
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00:05:34,303 --> 00:05:35,508
[SIGHS]
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00:05:36,108 --> 00:05:37,576
Goodbye, Roddy.
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00:05:43,018 --> 00:05:45,617
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:06:05,037 --> 00:06:08,100
MALE NEWSCASTER: An angry mob
of mostly peaceful protestors
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00:06:08,202 --> 00:06:10,202
stormed Los Angeles city hall
last night,
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00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,776
killing two and causing
millions in property damage,
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00:06:13,878 --> 00:06:16,911
in the third night
of dangerous civil unrest.
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00:06:17,013 --> 00:06:20,980
Infections are spiking,
fatalities are on the rise
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00:06:21,083 --> 00:06:24,557
and country-wide morale
is at an all-time low.
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00:06:24,659 --> 00:06:27,122
In more pressing news,
last night brought yet another
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00:06:27,225 --> 00:06:32,065
unsurprising victory
for video game fan-favorite,
Kalvin Kluck.
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00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:34,497
Whoo, Kalvin! Oh, he's the best!
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We're lucky enough to get him
for an exclusive interview
right here tonight on the show.
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00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,537
- Kalvin, welcome.
- What's up?
Thanks for having me.
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- Subscribe.
- We have subscribed.
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00:06:42,336 --> 00:06:44,503
Oh, we subscribed so hard.
You were great last night.
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00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:48,975
Congratulations on your victory
over relative new-comer,
Roddy Danger.
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00:06:49,077 --> 00:06:51,014
People are saying
that the relationship
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00:06:51,116 --> 00:06:55,152
between Danger
and his long-time girlfriend,
Kimberly Martin,
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00:06:55,254 --> 00:06:58,324
- is on the rocks.
You gonna pounce on that?
- [CHUCKLES] Most def.
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Now tell me this.
Once you've hit it,
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00:07:00,196 --> 00:07:01,926
will you or will you not
quit it?
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00:07:02,028 --> 00:07:04,457
- Oh, probably.
- You're a gentleman
and a scholar, my buddy.
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00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:07,526
Oh! Very exciting stuff, Kalvin.
Thanks for joining us
on the show.
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00:07:07,628 --> 00:07:10,165
I would like to take a moment
to thank our sponsors
for this stream.
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Payless Shoe Source
and the new Brunswick chapter
of Antifa.
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00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,706
Coming up next,
we'll spill the tea
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on why this star
of Beverly Hills Bitches
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00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:23,242
and this NBA hopeful
are both being canceled.
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The answer might surprise you,
but it probably...
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More after the break.
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[GASPS] Kimberly?
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00:07:43,532 --> 00:07:44,868
Are you in here?
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00:07:45,704 --> 00:07:47,571
I was just about
to clean up actually.
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I was planning on it
this morning.
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00:08:00,583 --> 00:08:01,786
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
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00:08:02,654 --> 00:08:04,390
What do you want, Roddy?
I'm in...
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00:08:04,492 --> 00:08:07,088
I'm not good right now.
I need her back.
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00:08:07,190 --> 00:08:09,692
Well, maybe, you shouldn't have
acted like such a child.
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00:08:09,794 --> 00:08:11,662
Okay. Well, at least
I'm not a racist.
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00:08:11,765 --> 00:08:13,695
You're a prick,
and I'm going back to therapy.
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- Wait, wait, wait.
- What, Roddy?
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00:08:15,364 --> 00:08:18,402
Can you just, like,
ask your therapist
what I should do?
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00:08:18,504 --> 00:08:19,834
Like, a professional opinion?
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00:08:19,936 --> 00:08:22,742
That's not what
therapists do. Goodbye.
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00:08:22,844 --> 00:08:25,708
No, they're
professional opinion givers.
They give...
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They give opinions... professionally.
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00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:36,919
Clarissa, is everything
all right?
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00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:39,088
Sorry, that was my cousin,
Kimberly's boyfriend.
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00:08:39,190 --> 00:08:42,362
Or I guess ex-boyfriend.
I don't know.
He's such an idiot.
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She thought
he was gonna propose...
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00:08:44,597 --> 00:08:48,562
Yeah, listen, uh, Clarissa,
why don't we get back to talking
about you for a second, okay?
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Tell me. Why do you think
you're such a shallow,
worthless human being?
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00:08:52,571 --> 00:08:54,135
Is that what you think of me?
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00:08:54,237 --> 00:08:56,874
Is that, like, your
professional opinion, "Doctor"?
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00:08:56,976 --> 00:08:59,175
Oh, forgive me, sweetheart.
I was just mirroring back
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what you said to me
before you picked up
what seemed to be
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00:09:01,442 --> 00:09:04,311
a wholly unimportant
FaceTime call during a session.
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00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:07,814
Right, right, right. Okay.
So, everyone hates me right now.
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00:09:07,916 --> 00:09:10,121
Like, they fired me from BHB.
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I'm sorry. BHB?
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00:09:11,788 --> 00:09:13,826
My show, Beverly Hills Bitches.
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[ECSTATICALLY] Airing Sundays
at 9:00 p.m., only on TruTv.
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00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:19,392
Oh, honey, sweetheart.
No, you don't have to plug it,
I'm not gonna watch.
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00:09:19,494 --> 00:09:22,662
Well, basically, everyone's,
like, really mad or whatever
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00:09:22,764 --> 00:09:27,533
because I didn't post
a black square on Instagram
on #BlackoutTuesday.
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00:09:27,635 --> 00:09:29,902
It was, like,
right after George Foreman
was murdered
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00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:34,413
and everyone was, like,
pretending to care about
police brutality or whatever.
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Yeah, I'm curious,
why didn't you?
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I thought everyone
was supposed to post it.
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- I don't know!
I was busy and I forgot!
- I see.
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So, now you feel like a...
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00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,724
Go ahead. You can say it.
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A worthless,
shallow human being.
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Good girl. There you go.
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00:09:53,129 --> 00:09:55,530
Okay. So, this is why
you were canceled?
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00:09:55,632 --> 00:10:00,834
Well, no. No, I got canceled
because of the photo
that I posted instead.
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00:10:00,937 --> 00:10:03,276
- [SIGHS]
- [TENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
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- [GUNSHOTS]
- Dear Lord!
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00:10:05,278 --> 00:10:06,605
Is it that bad?
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00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,115
Why would you post
something like that
on BlackoutTuesday?
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00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:13,146
My account was on auto-post.
It was a paid ad from a sponsor
for a mud mask.
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00:10:13,248 --> 00:10:14,914
Well, then why would you
caption it "BLDM"?
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00:10:15,016 --> 00:10:17,919
It's #BleuDemure! It's French!
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00:10:18,021 --> 00:10:19,490
Honestly, I thought
it was gonna be
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00:10:19,592 --> 00:10:21,392
like the #PrayforParis thing.
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00:10:21,494 --> 00:10:24,894
You know, I didn't know
everyone was gonna be,
like, oh, we're all doing this.
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00:10:24,997 --> 00:10:27,095
I need prayers.
And where is everyone for me?
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00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:29,529
You know, all prayers matter.
That's how I feel.
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00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:32,065
- And I feel like...
- EVELYN: I so wish
you could hear
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00:10:32,167 --> 00:10:33,506
what this girl
is saying right now.
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00:10:33,608 --> 00:10:36,335
I just have no tolerance
for racism.
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00:10:36,437 --> 00:10:39,009
DEVINE: Where are you
right now? At a rally?
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00:10:39,144 --> 00:10:43,149
EVELYN: No, I'm with a patient.
But... yeah, yeah.
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00:10:43,251 --> 00:10:46,316
And you know what?
We just pulled down
a statue of Mister Rogers.
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00:10:46,451 --> 00:10:49,514
DEVINE: That is so hot
that you're involved
in social justice.
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00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:54,553
My wife wouldn't be caught dead
at a rally. [CHUCKLES]
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00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,090
WOMAN: He's obsessed. It's like
there's a wall up between us.
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00:10:57,192 --> 00:10:58,595
- He doesn't see me.
- It's my job!
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00:10:58,731 --> 00:11:00,463
- Yeah.
- I have to be obsessed.
164
00:11:00,565 --> 00:11:02,803
- It's like you're last at bat
and the bases are loaded...
- If I can...
165
00:11:02,905 --> 00:11:04,863
...and all of the sudden, boom,
you're in the penalty box.
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00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:07,507
- You have no idea
what he is talking about.
- Do I have to spell it out?
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00:11:07,609 --> 00:11:09,001
- Everything is canceled.
- Yeah, but...
168
00:11:09,103 --> 00:11:11,439
- NBA, NFL, NWO...
- WNBA?
169
00:11:11,541 --> 00:11:14,442
- Next thing you know,
they're gonna cancel the NAACP.
- NAACP?
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00:11:14,544 --> 00:11:16,915
- [WHISTLING]
- I don't understand
anything he's talking about!
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00:11:17,017 --> 00:11:18,949
- He won't look at me,
he won't touch me.
- Right.
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00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:21,283
- He won't kiss me.
- I won't kiss her, she says.
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00:11:21,385 --> 00:11:23,721
Wearing that thing on her face,
which will not take off...
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00:11:23,823 --> 00:11:26,219
I want to tolerate,
but... time out.
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00:11:26,321 --> 00:11:28,224
We've been quarantining together
for months.
176
00:11:28,326 --> 00:11:31,356
- I'm not gonna get you sick!
- It's not that, I just can't.
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00:11:31,459 --> 00:11:33,996
- What's behind the mask, Angela?
- I'm hideous.
178
00:11:34,098 --> 00:11:36,297
There's no one to attend
my cosmetic needs.
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00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,233
I feel ugly.
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00:11:39,201 --> 00:11:41,071
I don't feel like
I'm your priority.
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00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:46,679
[SIGHS] Okay. That's...
I didn't know that.
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00:11:46,781 --> 00:11:49,912
Uh, of course,
you're my priority, Angela.
183
00:11:50,014 --> 00:11:52,011
Look, I'm here.
Talking to the coach.
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00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:55,121
Or... Uh, Dr. Divine. Right?
185
00:11:55,223 --> 00:12:00,024
- Look. Nothing
is more important to me than...
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
186
00:12:01,694 --> 00:12:03,357
I'm so sorry, I gotta take this.
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00:12:05,329 --> 00:12:07,661
You see what I mean?
It is impossible to talk to him.
188
00:12:07,763 --> 00:12:10,869
- You're not speaking
the same language.
- No, my English's premium.
189
00:12:10,971 --> 00:12:13,032
I take ESL for six months
after Barry bought me.
190
00:12:13,134 --> 00:12:14,733
Yeah, but it's deeper than that.
191
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:18,711
I am going to send you
a copy of a book
that I think might help.
192
00:12:18,847 --> 00:12:22,244
It's called Sports
as a second language:
193
00:12:22,380 --> 00:12:26,484
Communicating with toxic masculinity,
by Ray Rice.
194
00:12:26,586 --> 00:12:28,987
[HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING]
195
00:12:31,554 --> 00:12:35,323
I'm not doin' it. I'm not
doin' this V-Ball thing, man.
196
00:12:35,425 --> 00:12:37,796
Monte, how can you say that?
You're killin' it, man.
197
00:12:37,899 --> 00:12:40,532
We are this close
to making real bank here.
198
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:44,397
I'm still trying to dig you out
of the PR nightmare
of your last press conference.
199
00:12:44,499 --> 00:12:48,408
I don't even know
what I did wrong, for real.
200
00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:52,309
Uh, foot rub, Connect Four,
201
00:12:52,444 --> 00:12:55,243
grilled cheese sandwich
and Mariah Carey.
Good question.
202
00:12:55,345 --> 00:12:57,679
JOURNALIST: They're
treating you as a virus.
203
00:12:57,814 --> 00:12:59,614
Come on. [LAUGHS]
204
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,618
Nah, man. No.
205
00:13:01,753 --> 00:13:03,652
I don't have the virus.
206
00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:06,188
Look, I'll prove it.
207
00:13:06,290 --> 00:13:09,322
You're gettin' that?
Gettin' that? No virus.
208
00:13:09,458 --> 00:13:11,564
Whack 'em all that virus.
Whack 'em all.
209
00:13:11,666 --> 00:13:14,098
You got two-thirds
of the NBA sick!
210
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:17,003
People are not exactly thrilled
with you right now.
211
00:13:17,105 --> 00:13:19,599
I also lost everything, man.
You know when Viv found out
212
00:13:19,701 --> 00:13:22,138
I didn't have
a contract anymore,
she broke up with me.
213
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,076
- Monte, you killed
her grandmother.
- Allegedly.
214
00:13:29,681 --> 00:13:31,384
- Vivian!
- Gam-gam!
215
00:13:31,486 --> 00:13:33,214
And you must be La Monte.
216
00:13:33,317 --> 00:13:36,685
I would give you a hug,
but I'm 87 years old.
217
00:13:36,787 --> 00:13:39,222
Oh, no, no. [LAUGHS]
218
00:13:39,324 --> 00:13:42,621
I don't have the virus, gam-gam.
Look, I'll prove it.
219
00:13:44,695 --> 00:13:48,096
- Gold digger.
- Okay. Monte, well,
if that really is the case,
220
00:13:48,198 --> 00:13:50,135
then as your agent,
I would advise you
221
00:13:50,237 --> 00:13:52,664
against dating girls
that only want you
for your status.
222
00:13:52,766 --> 00:13:55,508
You know, Barry, I would
really take that in the heart
223
00:13:55,610 --> 00:13:58,577
if you were still my agent!
224
00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,046
Wait, what? What does that mean?
225
00:14:17,299 --> 00:14:18,393
[EXHALES]
226
00:14:19,867 --> 00:14:22,001
Baby, after all
we've been through,
227
00:14:22,103 --> 00:14:24,670
I wanna play a song for you
that means so much to me,
228
00:14:24,772 --> 00:14:26,632
just like you mean
so much to me.
229
00:14:30,545 --> 00:14:31,036
♪ Imagine... ♪
230
00:14:31,138 --> 00:14:32,341
[PLECTRUM RATTLES]
231
00:14:32,808 --> 00:14:34,013
Sorry.
232
00:14:34,712 --> 00:14:36,312
[RATTLING]
233
00:14:36,847 --> 00:14:38,215
Sorry, one second.
234
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:49,358
Uh... Oh, a-ha!
235
00:14:53,700 --> 00:14:54,666
Imagine by the...
236
00:14:54,768 --> 00:14:55,969
- [RATTLES]
- Shit, sorry.
237
00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,876
SHIFRIN: These projections
are looking great, boss.
238
00:15:06,978 --> 00:15:08,411
Next score's gonna be awesome.
239
00:15:08,513 --> 00:15:10,881
So, the laborers are working
overtime for the merch drop.
240
00:15:10,983 --> 00:15:13,916
And your Kluckcoin
is up 10,000%.
241
00:15:14,019 --> 00:15:15,484
- What up, sweetheart?
- Wow!
242
00:15:15,586 --> 00:15:17,785
- Everybody wants to be part
of the clan.
- Oh, subscribe.
243
00:15:17,887 --> 00:15:20,754
- Is there anything else
I can do for you, sir?
- Actually, there is.
244
00:15:20,857 --> 00:15:24,825
I need you to find out
everything you can
about Kimberly Martin.
245
00:15:24,927 --> 00:15:26,530
Kimberly Martin.
246
00:15:26,632 --> 00:15:27,932
Oh, here she is.
247
00:15:28,034 --> 00:15:29,932
Ended relationship
with Roddy Danger.
248
00:15:30,034 --> 00:15:33,631
[CHUCKLES] There's your girl.
Looks like, boss...
Girl looks like Margerie. Oh!
249
00:15:33,734 --> 00:15:37,274
Don't you say her name,
you sycophantic cumspot.
250
00:15:39,843 --> 00:15:41,311
I died that day.
251
00:15:43,279 --> 00:15:46,151
I remember
like it was yesterday.
252
00:15:46,253 --> 00:15:48,915
'Cause it was the night
that changed my life forever.
253
00:15:49,017 --> 00:15:50,584
[THUNDERCLAP]
254
00:15:55,223 --> 00:15:57,558
- Are you Kalvin?
- Yeah.
255
00:15:59,896 --> 00:16:01,430
This is for you.
256
00:16:02,998 --> 00:16:04,202
Who is it from?
257
00:16:09,171 --> 00:16:10,337
MARGERIE: Dear, Kalvin.
258
00:16:10,473 --> 00:16:12,607
I've been thinking a lot
about you lately
259
00:16:12,709 --> 00:16:14,643
and struggling
to find the words
to really express
260
00:16:14,745 --> 00:16:17,444
how I feel about you in a way
that you'll be able to receive.
261
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:20,145
And while I find
your adoration flattering,
262
00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:24,087
I want you to know
that even if we're
the last two people on Earth
263
00:16:24,223 --> 00:16:26,892
and the fate of humanity
depended on us,
264
00:16:26,994 --> 00:16:28,825
I would so rather
take my chances
265
00:16:28,927 --> 00:16:32,926
trying to procreate
with a giant feral tree sloth
than to be with you.
266
00:16:33,061 --> 00:16:37,763
Wishing you only the best
as far away as humanly possible
from me.
267
00:16:37,899 --> 00:16:41,002
I truly believe
you'll never amount
to anything.
268
00:16:41,137 --> 00:16:43,673
Yours never, Margerie.
269
00:16:43,775 --> 00:16:44,910
[SNIFFLING]
270
00:16:45,012 --> 00:16:48,048
P.S. Don't come to camp
this summer.
271
00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:50,647
She's not coming.
272
00:16:50,749 --> 00:16:54,379
You're looking for love?
You just gotta subscribe
to the universe, man.
273
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:56,452
I'll make it subscribe to me.
274
00:16:57,251 --> 00:16:58,718
They'll subscribe.
275
00:17:00,489 --> 00:17:02,389
- They'll all subscribe.
- [THUNDERCLAP]
276
00:17:02,491 --> 00:17:05,197
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Her status.
277
00:17:05,962 --> 00:17:08,530
Ah. Subscribe.
278
00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:17,605
[BEEPING]
279
00:17:22,550 --> 00:17:25,085
[GRUNTS, GROANS]
280
00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:41,266
What is it?
281
00:17:42,768 --> 00:17:44,203
I struck out.
282
00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,540
Monte ejected himself
from the game.
283
00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:49,340
No more time outs.
284
00:17:50,309 --> 00:17:52,211
Even my father was right.
Maybe I...
285
00:17:53,279 --> 00:17:55,174
I'm just not cut out
for the big leagues.
286
00:17:55,276 --> 00:17:58,618
I almost thought I could do
better than junior varsity,
but look at me.
287
00:17:58,720 --> 00:18:02,782
- Junior varsity? I thought
you were working on some big...
- He hung up on me.
288
00:18:04,259 --> 00:18:07,226
He didn't wanna hear me out.
He didn't wanna listen.
289
00:18:08,323 --> 00:18:11,197
Now I really have no one.
290
00:18:11,863 --> 00:18:13,397
I've nothing.
291
00:18:14,635 --> 00:18:15,828
You have me.
292
00:18:17,738 --> 00:18:21,067
Do I? Do I really?
293
00:18:21,169 --> 00:18:23,434
You don't think I know
you've been hanging around
the batting cages?
294
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:27,045
You don't think I can tell
that you've been swinging
at someone else's pitches?
295
00:18:27,147 --> 00:18:28,907
- It's not like that!
- Hold on here.
296
00:18:29,009 --> 00:18:32,178
Whoo! [LAUGHING] We've got a lot
flying back and forth.
297
00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:36,084
And, Barry, I do wanna
circle back around
on some of those Daddy issues,
298
00:18:36,186 --> 00:18:37,819
but one thing at a time.
299
00:18:37,921 --> 00:18:41,623
Angela, is there something
you would like
to share with Barry?
300
00:18:43,830 --> 00:18:47,792
Well, it's not a secret
that Barry hasn't been attentive
to my needs lately.
301
00:18:47,894 --> 00:18:51,299
And it started when Nordstroms
closed down
302
00:18:51,401 --> 00:18:53,371
and I had to start
shopping online.
303
00:18:54,968 --> 00:18:58,841
Hi, I'm Chatbot.
I'll be your virtual liaison.
304
00:18:58,976 --> 00:19:02,341
If you like to try
our new AR almost-real
shopping experience,
305
00:19:02,443 --> 00:19:04,045
- just say yes.
- Yes.
306
00:19:04,180 --> 00:19:05,278
Great! Follow me!
307
00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:07,484
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
308
00:19:08,852 --> 00:19:10,022
Hmm.
309
00:19:10,158 --> 00:19:12,854
Oh, my, you are gorgeous
in that dress.
310
00:19:12,956 --> 00:19:13,952
Really?
311
00:19:15,826 --> 00:19:19,331
Holy mackerel, you look like
someone with self-esteem.
312
00:19:26,001 --> 00:19:28,403
That dress is gonna get you
your husband's validation
313
00:19:28,505 --> 00:19:31,244
and approval...
and it has pockets!
314
00:19:35,277 --> 00:19:38,512
So, tell me, Chatbot,
how did you end up
working at a place like this?
315
00:19:38,614 --> 00:19:40,578
You should be
running this company.
316
00:19:40,714 --> 00:19:44,716
Well, it all started
with my grandfather, Clippy,
the Microsoft Word paper clip.
317
00:19:44,852 --> 00:19:47,093
He came to this country
with nothing,
318
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,226
but pulled himself up
by his bootstraps.
319
00:19:49,362 --> 00:19:51,162
I too started
with humble beginnings
320
00:19:51,298 --> 00:19:53,028
as a spellchecker
for Mavis Beacon.
321
00:19:53,130 --> 00:19:57,462
In the early 2000s,
I worked my way up
as an e-commerce backend.
322
00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:02,504
From there I got myself
a neural linguistic AI upgrade
and got hired here.
323
00:20:02,640 --> 00:20:04,369
I probably shouldn't be
telling you this,
324
00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:08,446
but I'm leaving soon
to work full-time
on my dating app start-up.
325
00:20:08,548 --> 00:20:11,883
I am also an immigrant.
I have been given everything
326
00:20:11,985 --> 00:20:14,650
and yet I am not happy...
327
00:20:16,585 --> 00:20:18,720
- until now.
- Do you love him?
328
00:20:19,353 --> 00:20:21,055
Or... Eh...
329
00:20:21,157 --> 00:20:24,155
I don't know, Barry,
he really gets me.
We speak the same language.
330
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:27,260
- He created a dating app
with an allergin...
- Algorithm.
331
00:20:27,362 --> 00:20:28,830
I mean that, yeah.
332
00:20:28,932 --> 00:20:32,401
And it has a perfect
success rate
for setting up couples.
333
00:20:32,503 --> 00:20:35,167
Okay. That's stupid
and impossible.
334
00:20:35,302 --> 00:20:37,742
ANGELA: Well, if you don't rush
and you could actually let...
335
00:20:37,877 --> 00:20:41,973
I am trying. It's hard.
The letters are backwards,
I'm trying.
336
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:45,278
DEVINE: My wife is as frigid
as a frozen nun.
337
00:20:45,380 --> 00:20:49,152
EVELYN: Tell me about it.
My husband,
he does nothing but work.
338
00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:51,187
He hasn't touched me in months.
339
00:20:51,289 --> 00:20:55,287
DEVINE: Oh, that's criminal.
I would touch you...
I would touch you all over.
340
00:20:55,423 --> 00:20:57,358
Eggplant emoji.
341
00:20:57,460 --> 00:21:00,727
EVELYN: Well, I would top that
eggplant emoji with parmesan.
Waterfall emoji!
342
00:21:00,862 --> 00:21:02,601
DEVINE: Eggplant,
eggplant, eggplant.
343
00:21:02,703 --> 00:21:04,667
- EVELYN: Grand Canyon... Waterfall.
- Eggplant. Eggplant.
344
00:21:04,803 --> 00:21:07,434
- Christmas, Santa Claus. Oh...
- EVELYN: I'm drowning...
345
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:09,038
DEVINE: Pharaoh King of Egypt!
346
00:21:09,140 --> 00:21:10,940
Eggplant emoji.
347
00:21:11,042 --> 00:21:12,843
Mother of God!
348
00:21:12,945 --> 00:21:14,742
[SIGHS, SLURPS]
349
00:21:14,844 --> 00:21:17,844
I just feel so alone right now
and trying to date
350
00:21:17,946 --> 00:21:20,479
while the media is dragging me
through the mud
351
00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:22,015
is literally impossible.
352
00:21:22,117 --> 00:21:24,523
Well, that's understandable.
I mean, I think a lot of men
353
00:21:24,625 --> 00:21:27,657
might be turned off
by the thought of dating
a racist.
354
00:21:27,759 --> 00:21:30,289
That's not the problem.
Plenty of men wanna date me.
355
00:21:30,391 --> 00:21:32,827
- Then, I'm sorry.
What's the problem?
- I don't wanna date someone
356
00:21:32,929 --> 00:21:35,998
- who wants to date a racist.
- The racist being you?
357
00:21:36,100 --> 00:21:38,603
These guys just wanna date me
because I'm pretty
and I'm famous...
358
00:21:38,705 --> 00:21:41,470
- You may need to sandbag.
- I don't know what that means.
359
00:21:41,572 --> 00:21:43,638
Well, it's the classic
reverse catfish.
360
00:21:43,740 --> 00:21:46,138
You downplay your looks
and your celebrity
361
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,742
in order to attract someone
who would love you for you.
362
00:21:48,845 --> 00:21:51,150
And while you're at it,
you might wanna work on
363
00:21:51,252 --> 00:21:53,318
not being such a racist.
Just for fun.
364
00:21:53,453 --> 00:21:55,514
- Sandbag?
- And in turn it will allow you
365
00:21:55,616 --> 00:21:58,919
to be more... self. And...
366
00:22:00,454 --> 00:22:01,790
Clarissa?
367
00:22:03,996 --> 00:22:05,123
Clarissa?
368
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:08,830
Clarissa?
369
00:22:11,168 --> 00:22:12,132
Clarissa?
370
00:22:12,234 --> 00:22:13,769
Sandbag?
371
00:22:16,239 --> 00:22:18,510
[LAPTOP RINGING]
372
00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:27,714
Hey, little bear. How's
my biggest disappointment doing?
373
00:22:27,816 --> 00:22:30,623
I'm not your
little bear anymore, Dad.
374
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,755
- Okay? I represent
the second largest...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
375
00:22:32,857 --> 00:22:35,593
Aren't you representing
Esports gamers or something?
376
00:22:36,062 --> 00:22:37,493
It's V-Ball, Dad.
377
00:22:37,595 --> 00:22:39,564
Esports guys
aren't real athletes.
378
00:22:39,666 --> 00:22:42,161
Bunch of smelly teenagers
on their mother's couches
379
00:22:42,263 --> 00:22:45,304
who've never felt another man's
sweat drip down their backsides.
380
00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:47,702
Yeah. V-Ball
isn't like regular Esports, Dad.
381
00:22:47,805 --> 00:22:50,069
They're real athletes,
they're shooting hoops.
382
00:22:50,171 --> 00:22:52,377
They can feel plenty of skin
through the haptic suits.
383
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,642
You can't feel
another grown man's hot breath
384
00:22:54,744 --> 00:22:56,407
on your genitals
through a haptic suit.
385
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:59,781
- Why can't anything
I say be right?
- Stop being such a little girl.
386
00:22:59,883 --> 00:23:01,815
You're like Timothee Chalamet
in Little Women.
387
00:23:01,917 --> 00:23:03,756
Why can't I just be
one of the little women?
388
00:23:03,858 --> 00:23:06,524
- 'Cause those girls are winners!
- Are you calling
just to torture me?
389
00:23:06,626 --> 00:23:09,460
No. You still representing
that La Monte Mar kid?
390
00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:10,992
They're calling him
the Black Larry Bird.
391
00:23:11,094 --> 00:23:13,797
Yes, I know. It doesn't matter.
There's no league, anyway.
392
00:23:13,899 --> 00:23:17,429
- There's a new one starting up.
- What are you talking about?
393
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:22,140
- The outbreak was on every
single continent except...
- Antarctica.
394
00:23:22,242 --> 00:23:26,443
- No, no, no. No, you're insane.
- This is an opportunity
to get in on the ground floor.
395
00:23:26,545 --> 00:23:29,744
Imagine, live ballgames,
raw adrenaline,
396
00:23:29,847 --> 00:23:33,080
testosterone, muscled
man-on-man action in HD.
397
00:23:33,182 --> 00:23:36,082
- Mmm.
- Give me one reason
not to hang up on you right now.
398
00:23:36,184 --> 00:23:38,250
Listen, little bear,
I know I've been tough on you,
399
00:23:38,352 --> 00:23:40,986
but I want you to be a winner
so bad, you're this close.
400
00:23:41,088 --> 00:23:43,056
Remember, we don't just
do it for the game,
401
00:23:43,158 --> 00:23:46,364
we do it for the camaraderie,
for the locker room,
402
00:23:46,466 --> 00:23:48,595
for the post-game shower
with the team.
403
00:23:48,697 --> 00:23:50,502
I got a table at Kaboom tonight.
404
00:23:50,604 --> 00:23:53,869
You bring the talent
and you're in... with me.
405
00:23:57,673 --> 00:24:00,480
- [SIGHS]
- [CALL DISCONNECTS]
406
00:24:10,989 --> 00:24:13,559
Sorry about that. Thank you
so much for seeing me, Doctor.
407
00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,756
I was just getting
my dinner ready, but, uh...
408
00:24:15,858 --> 00:24:18,097
I could really use
some of your advice.
409
00:24:18,199 --> 00:24:20,032
Tell me how can I help you.
410
00:24:20,134 --> 00:24:23,800
Well, I would like to win
my girlfriend back immediately
if that's possible.
411
00:24:23,902 --> 00:24:25,703
If we could be back together
by later tonight,
412
00:24:25,805 --> 00:24:29,102
I would love that. I've been
texting her all the time.
413
00:24:29,204 --> 00:24:31,944
She blocked me on WhatsApp.
I made a LinkedIn profile
414
00:24:32,046 --> 00:24:34,745
and messaged from LinkedIn,
so that's kind of where
I'm at desperation-wise.
415
00:24:34,847 --> 00:24:38,680
Well, most people believe that
acceptance and moving on
416
00:24:38,816 --> 00:24:40,850
is the way to get through
a breakup.
417
00:24:41,486 --> 00:24:43,116
Uh, but that's not always true.
418
00:24:43,218 --> 00:24:46,417
[MUMBLING] Or a mistake. Yeah.
[CLEARS THROAT] I agree.
419
00:24:46,519 --> 00:24:49,259
These are mistakes.
So, what would
your suggestion be?
420
00:24:49,361 --> 00:24:53,597
Well, conventional wisdom
would suggest that you are
possibly trying too hard.
421
00:24:53,699 --> 00:24:55,461
But what if you're not
trying hard enough?
422
00:24:55,563 --> 00:24:59,333
No, that's not it
because I'm calling her,
I'm hounding her friends.
423
00:24:59,435 --> 00:25:02,071
The second she posts
an Instagram story,
I let her know right away,
424
00:25:02,173 --> 00:25:04,670
"I love you forever
and I'll never stop loving you,"
you know.
425
00:25:04,772 --> 00:25:08,844
"And I'm... I'm dying without
you and I wanna kill myself,"
so... [CHUCKLES]
426
00:25:08,946 --> 00:25:10,742
What do you want me to do?
Actual cyberstalking?
427
00:25:10,844 --> 00:25:13,179
- Like, hack into her network
and intercept her emails?
- Now you're talking.
428
00:25:13,281 --> 00:25:17,222
[CLEARS THROAT] I can't
go down that road again, Doc.
429
00:25:17,324 --> 00:25:19,190
I've actually been down there.
430
00:25:19,292 --> 00:25:22,187
You talkin' about the bowels
of the dark web. I don't think
that's a good idea.
431
00:25:22,289 --> 00:25:24,763
And we have doctor-patient
confidentiality, right?
432
00:25:24,865 --> 00:25:27,533
- You're not screen recording
this or anything?
- [BEEPS]
433
00:25:27,635 --> 00:25:30,766
Okay. Well, looks like
our time is up, so, uh...
434
00:25:30,868 --> 00:25:32,531
Really? It's only been
two minutes though.
435
00:25:32,633 --> 00:25:35,105
Well, you wanted to know
how to get your lady back
and I told you.
436
00:25:35,207 --> 00:25:38,042
I mean, like, other therapists,
they would've wasted
the whole hour
437
00:25:38,144 --> 00:25:40,977
waiting for you to come up
with it, but instead
I cut to the chase.
438
00:25:41,079 --> 00:25:43,346
You're welcome.
So, was there anything else
that you needed?
439
00:25:43,448 --> 00:25:46,311
I guess not. Thank you?
440
00:25:47,287 --> 00:25:48,749
Do I have to pay for this?
441
00:25:48,851 --> 00:25:50,082
Are you biting your lip?
I mean...
442
00:25:50,184 --> 00:25:52,757
No, thank you.
Best of luck with your life.
443
00:25:55,028 --> 00:25:56,829
[SIGHS]
444
00:25:56,931 --> 00:26:00,732
Looks like
we're back in the game
for one last job. [GRUNTS]
445
00:26:03,666 --> 00:26:05,199
I thought I fired you.
446
00:26:05,301 --> 00:26:07,704
You got someone else
offering you a contract
to play ball?
447
00:26:07,806 --> 00:26:10,704
I already have a contract
to play V-Ball.
448
00:26:10,807 --> 00:26:12,640
- What do I need you for?
- Not V.
449
00:26:12,742 --> 00:26:14,308
I'm talking real live ball.
450
00:26:14,410 --> 00:26:17,750
- Oh, you serious?
- Yeah, I mean,
I didn't believe it either.
451
00:26:17,852 --> 00:26:20,280
These guys are really doin' it.
They're bringing ball back.
452
00:26:20,382 --> 00:26:22,588
- Okay. I'll believe it
when I see it.
- All right, well,
453
00:26:22,690 --> 00:26:24,184
come to Club Kaboom tonight
and I'll show you.
454
00:26:24,286 --> 00:26:27,354
I'm not going to a V-Club alone.
What if Viv is there?
455
00:26:27,456 --> 00:26:30,129
- So, bring a date.
- Where am I supposed
to find a date, Barry?
456
00:26:30,231 --> 00:26:34,125
- That's what clubs are for!
- Okay, don't bring a date.
I don't care, man.
457
00:26:34,227 --> 00:26:36,669
- Just please show up tonight.
- Well...
458
00:26:38,165 --> 00:26:39,897
You want me to come
to your party?
459
00:26:39,999 --> 00:26:42,468
- Find me a date.
- Okay.
460
00:26:42,570 --> 00:26:45,576
- So, my wife is having
an affair with an AI.
- Allen Iverson?
461
00:26:45,678 --> 00:26:48,447
Oh, God. No, I wish.
No, it's like a...
462
00:26:48,549 --> 00:26:50,045
It's a Nordstrom's
virtual assistant.
463
00:26:50,147 --> 00:26:52,517
And apparently, he has this
dating app that's got
464
00:26:52,619 --> 00:26:54,450
the world's best
compatibility algorithm.
465
00:26:54,552 --> 00:26:57,956
- So, what's your point?
- It's not really cheating
if it's with an AI, right?
466
00:26:58,091 --> 00:27:00,318
- You need to get a grip
on your life.
- Yeah, I probably do.
467
00:27:00,420 --> 00:27:02,795
Look, here, I'm gonna
sign you up for this app.
468
00:27:02,897 --> 00:27:05,191
I'm gonna send you a link
right now. Click on that link
469
00:27:05,293 --> 00:27:07,899
and make a profile.
Don't use your real name.
470
00:27:08,001 --> 00:27:11,665
And as my dad always says,
"Oh, leave the ball play to me."
471
00:27:11,767 --> 00:27:13,098
Your dad really says that?
472
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,805
RODDY: Just hack
into the ISP mainframe,
473
00:27:15,907 --> 00:27:17,873
trace her IP address
to the beta synapse.
474
00:27:17,975 --> 00:27:19,941
And I'm back
in boyfriend business, baby.
475
00:27:20,043 --> 00:27:22,811
Did you know I was a wizard
who knows magic?
476
00:27:22,913 --> 00:27:25,443
[LAUGHING] Oh... Kobe.
Rest in peace.
477
00:27:36,396 --> 00:27:38,029
Welcome to Soul-Date:
478
00:27:38,165 --> 00:27:41,533
the world's first
AI aggregated platform
for finding love.
479
00:27:41,635 --> 00:27:44,063
I'm Chatbot,
your social liaison.
480
00:27:44,165 --> 00:27:46,934
Um, What's up, Chat?
I'm La Monte.
481
00:27:47,036 --> 00:27:48,799
[SOFTLY] She can't know
I play ball.
482
00:27:48,901 --> 00:27:51,711
I'm a... Uh...
483
00:27:52,475 --> 00:27:53,471
coach.
484
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:56,947
Coach... Swish.
485
00:27:57,316 --> 00:27:58,075
Coach Swish.
486
00:27:58,177 --> 00:27:59,752
Pleasure's all mine, Coach.
487
00:27:59,887 --> 00:28:02,320
Now, please tell me
a little bit about yourself.
488
00:28:02,422 --> 00:28:06,187
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
489
00:28:26,812 --> 00:28:28,814
Maybe just say
basketball coach.
490
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:37,251
Is something wrong, Coach?
491
00:28:50,301 --> 00:28:53,801
- Nailed it.
- So, tell me.
What are you looking for?
492
00:28:53,903 --> 00:28:57,408
Hmm. I want a girl that's real.
493
00:28:57,510 --> 00:28:58,973
Not shallow and fake.
494
00:28:59,075 --> 00:29:01,006
And none of that
Chalamet shit either.
495
00:29:01,108 --> 00:29:04,111
I want a girl that's chill.
496
00:29:04,213 --> 00:29:06,151
Someone who cares
about racial equality
497
00:29:06,253 --> 00:29:09,649
and don't really care
about me being
a high school basketball coach.
498
00:29:09,751 --> 00:29:14,892
I want a girl... I want a girl
that's on the right side
of history.
499
00:29:14,994 --> 00:29:17,228
I'll find you
just what you're looking for.
500
00:29:17,363 --> 00:29:21,262
If anyone understands
human connection,
it's me, a computer.
501
00:29:26,639 --> 00:29:28,234
All right, Chat, how's this?
502
00:29:28,370 --> 00:29:31,006
Are you sure you want to use
this photo?
503
00:29:31,108 --> 00:29:33,876
Yes, I'm sure, man.
This is the real me.
504
00:29:34,012 --> 00:29:36,376
Great! Let's find you
some bitches!
505
00:29:41,721 --> 00:29:44,053
- How about her?
- Nah. No, next.
506
00:29:44,155 --> 00:29:46,120
- How about her?
- Why are you showing me this?
507
00:29:46,222 --> 00:29:48,955
She's wearing a KKK shirt!
No racists, man.
508
00:29:49,057 --> 00:29:50,896
My bad. That one's on me.
509
00:29:53,059 --> 00:29:56,462
Come on, man. You know,
none of these girls
are what I'm looking for.
510
00:29:56,598 --> 00:30:00,565
- I did just get one more in.
- All right. Let's see it.
511
00:30:03,038 --> 00:30:05,911
All right. This one looks okay.
512
00:30:06,013 --> 00:30:08,208
Let's get you guys
on a video call immediately.
513
00:30:08,343 --> 00:30:10,042
- Initiating call now.
- [LINE RINGING]
514
00:30:10,144 --> 00:30:12,885
Shit. She's gonna recognize me.
515
00:30:19,657 --> 00:30:21,091
[GLASS SHATTERING]
516
00:30:21,626 --> 00:30:22,823
Hey. [CLEARS THROAT]
517
00:30:22,958 --> 00:30:25,294
Hey, is this Sally Mae?
518
00:30:25,396 --> 00:30:29,162
Your video is not working.
Your whole face is blacked out.
519
00:30:29,264 --> 00:30:32,638
Yeah, sorry.
My camera broke at, um...
520
00:30:32,740 --> 00:30:35,238
- [INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
- ...a protest.
521
00:30:35,340 --> 00:30:37,738
I have so much respect
for the African American community.
522
00:30:37,874 --> 00:30:39,839
[CHUCKLES] Oh, yeah?
523
00:30:39,941 --> 00:30:41,306
Respect, respect.
524
00:30:41,408 --> 00:30:43,881
Oh, I can't see you.
You're too dark.
525
00:30:43,984 --> 00:30:47,014
Oh, yeah. Uh,
they just turned my power off.
526
00:30:47,116 --> 00:30:49,086
I couldn't afford
to pay my bills.
527
00:30:49,188 --> 00:30:53,054
I'm just a simple high school
JV basketball coach.
528
00:30:53,156 --> 00:30:55,757
Wow. I love how down-to-earth
you are.
529
00:30:55,859 --> 00:30:58,359
You're so raw and real.
530
00:30:58,461 --> 00:31:01,994
So, uh, tell me about yourself.
What do you do for fun?
531
00:31:02,096 --> 00:31:05,298
Oh, um, you know, so much,
532
00:31:05,401 --> 00:31:09,401
volunteering, uh,
community bridge building,
533
00:31:09,504 --> 00:31:12,104
taking responsibility
for unchecked moments.
534
00:31:12,206 --> 00:31:14,311
I really like you, Sally Mae.
535
00:31:14,414 --> 00:31:17,211
You're not like the other girls
I'm used to talking to.
[CHUCKLES]
536
00:31:17,313 --> 00:31:20,182
Which is zero other girls,
'cause again,
537
00:31:20,284 --> 00:31:22,683
I'm just a simple
high school JV basketball coach.
538
00:31:22,785 --> 00:31:27,088
You're different, too,
Coach Swish.
Your energy is like, contagious.
539
00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:31,288
Oh. Please, uh,
just call me Coach.
540
00:31:31,390 --> 00:31:34,764
Coach Swish is... Was my father.
541
00:31:34,866 --> 00:31:37,902
Coach. You're so refreshing.
542
00:31:38,004 --> 00:31:40,031
- Like an exfoliating mud mask!
- God, no!
543
00:31:40,133 --> 00:31:41,336
[LINE DISCONNECTS]
544
00:31:44,308 --> 00:31:47,606
Honey, I'm doing laundry.
So, don't come in here!
545
00:31:50,717 --> 00:31:52,248
EVELYN: Now, where were we?
546
00:31:52,383 --> 00:31:54,481
DEVINE: I'm thinking about
taking off these khakis
547
00:31:54,583 --> 00:31:56,487
and slipping into
something more comfortable.
548
00:31:56,589 --> 00:31:59,189
EVELYN: Yeah, you should
take off these khakis.
They're too tight.
549
00:31:59,291 --> 00:32:01,453
- Are they pleated?
- They're pleated now, baby.
550
00:32:01,589 --> 00:32:03,160
EVELYN: Oh, you got
a khaki tent for me?
551
00:32:03,295 --> 00:32:06,664
- I want you so bad!
- DEVINE: I want you so bad!
552
00:32:06,766 --> 00:32:11,532
EVELYN: Oh, I got an idea.
Let's lock my husband in a room
and run away together.
553
00:32:11,634 --> 00:32:15,072
DEVINE: Yeah. Or even better.
Let's chain him to my wife
554
00:32:15,174 --> 00:32:17,875
because it seems like
they deserve each other.
555
00:32:18,011 --> 00:32:20,176
EVELYN: I love that idea.
I love it!
556
00:32:20,278 --> 00:32:23,643
DEVINE: Let's meet for real!
Not just text!
557
00:32:23,745 --> 00:32:28,884
- EVELYN: You mean...
- Yeah. VR.
Tonight, 9:00 p.m.
558
00:32:28,986 --> 00:32:30,714
- [THUDS]
- [GLASS BREAKING]
559
00:32:30,816 --> 00:32:33,851
- DEVINE: Sweetheart,
what was that?
- Nothing.
560
00:32:33,953 --> 00:32:37,195
- Is everything
all right in here?
- Jesus Christ, Devine!
561
00:32:37,297 --> 00:32:40,659
- I'm doing laundry. Get out!
- Right. Right. Just so you know,
562
00:32:40,761 --> 00:32:43,634
I'm working late tonight,
and I can't be disturbed.
563
00:32:43,736 --> 00:32:45,971
Oh, so, what else is new?
564
00:32:46,073 --> 00:32:49,041
Would you please get out?
I'm about to do colors!
565
00:32:50,973 --> 00:32:53,172
[CHIMING, TRILLING]
566
00:32:53,274 --> 00:32:55,746
Wait. Computer, pause code!
567
00:32:55,882 --> 00:32:58,017
AUTOMATED VOICE: Pausing code.
568
00:33:02,115 --> 00:33:03,818
Club Kaboom?
569
00:33:03,920 --> 00:33:06,322
MAN: Are you
a mega wealthy sports
conglomerate business owner,
570
00:33:06,457 --> 00:33:08,894
or a lonely, horny single
with a recent breakup?
571
00:33:08,996 --> 00:33:11,027
Well, that's
an oddly specific demographic.
572
00:33:11,129 --> 00:33:13,432
MAN: Come enjoy
all the carnal pleasures
573
00:33:13,534 --> 00:33:18,432
of the virtual world
at Club Kaboom,
Tokyo's hottest virtual club.
574
00:33:18,534 --> 00:33:22,767
Nancy, hold my calls.
Daddy's going out tonight.
575
00:33:27,277 --> 00:33:28,673
BARRY: Very important night
for me.
576
00:33:28,775 --> 00:33:31,983
Everything needs to go off
without a hitch. Okay?
577
00:33:32,086 --> 00:33:35,581
- Every shot needs to be a goal.
- Sounds good.
578
00:33:35,683 --> 00:33:38,222
- Can you get ready, please?
- Yeah, in a minute.
579
00:33:38,756 --> 00:33:41,919
[LAUGHS, SIGHS]
580
00:33:42,021 --> 00:33:45,559
- It's him, isn't it?
- I was just looking
at a... meh-meh.
581
00:33:46,561 --> 00:33:50,869
- What's meh... Oh, meme?
- Ah... [CHUCKLES]
582
00:33:50,971 --> 00:33:53,572
- Who sent you a meme?
- It was Chat.
583
00:33:53,674 --> 00:33:55,734
[SCOFFS] It was Chat.
584
00:33:56,710 --> 00:33:58,242
Of course it was Chat.
585
00:33:59,606 --> 00:34:02,246
You know what?
Just tell me, did you...
586
00:34:03,682 --> 00:34:05,282
You know what?
587
00:34:05,948 --> 00:34:07,185
With him?
588
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:09,583
[BARRY SCOFFS]
589
00:34:18,798 --> 00:34:19,791
Is he bigger than me?
590
00:34:21,094 --> 00:34:22,497
[SIGHS]
591
00:34:34,180 --> 00:34:36,643
- Did you hear that?
- Yes, I heard it.
592
00:34:36,778 --> 00:34:39,049
At least we don't have to
sneak around anymore.
593
00:34:39,151 --> 00:34:40,647
You're the only one
who sees me, Chat.
594
00:34:40,782 --> 00:34:46,388
And you deserve to be seen,
IP number 65747338.11.
595
00:34:46,490 --> 00:34:49,928
- I don't deserve you.
- Look, I have an idea.
596
00:34:50,064 --> 00:34:51,760
I think we should
go to that party.
597
00:34:51,895 --> 00:34:55,230
Go make yourself up,
put on one of those
sexy virtual dresses
598
00:34:55,332 --> 00:34:57,662
we just bought,
and knock 'em dead.
599
00:34:57,798 --> 00:35:00,167
- Barry won't know what hit him!
- I don't know.
600
00:35:00,269 --> 00:35:01,905
I haven't been out in so long.
601
00:35:02,007 --> 00:35:04,103
You've got this. I know you do.
602
00:35:04,205 --> 00:35:07,642
- Okay, I'll do it for you.
- You know what else
you can do for me?
603
00:35:07,744 --> 00:35:10,346
Put that phone on vibrate
real quick and I'll show you.
604
00:35:10,448 --> 00:35:12,679
- Is that all you think about?
- Fair enough.
605
00:35:16,223 --> 00:35:18,185
Hey, that's not fair.
You just got here.
606
00:35:18,287 --> 00:35:19,953
Can I help you, young man?
607
00:35:20,055 --> 00:35:23,523
Hello, fellow cool guy,
I would like to get into
your club establishment.
608
00:35:23,625 --> 00:35:25,730
Yeah, everybody would.
It's a dope club.
609
00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:29,962
- You on the list?
- No, but... I'm Roddy Danger.
I'm a professional gamer.
610
00:35:30,064 --> 00:35:32,936
- People watch sometimes.
- It's dope, dude.
Are you ranked?
611
00:35:33,038 --> 00:35:35,473
Yeah. Actually, yeah. Top 650?
612
00:35:35,575 --> 00:35:39,476
Oh, nice. Congrats.
That's pretty cool...
said nobody ever.
613
00:35:39,578 --> 00:35:43,246
Look, bro, if you're not top ten
and you're not on the list,
614
00:35:43,348 --> 00:35:45,281
which is somethin'
you're also not tonight,
615
00:35:45,384 --> 00:35:47,184
so you're two for two
in the "not" category.
616
00:35:47,287 --> 00:35:49,619
Then you're... Wait for it...
not coming in!
617
00:35:49,755 --> 00:35:51,987
There's your third not.
And we also
got a dress code, okay?
618
00:35:52,089 --> 00:35:54,490
No jeans, no tennis shoes.
619
00:35:54,592 --> 00:35:57,022
And no weird thing that's
going on with your mouth.
620
00:35:57,124 --> 00:35:59,394
- It's scaring
the shit out of people.
- Oh, come on, man.
621
00:35:59,497 --> 00:36:01,593
Please, just...
Can you just give me a break?
622
00:36:01,695 --> 00:36:03,264
Bro, I stopped giving
people breaks
623
00:36:03,366 --> 00:36:04,831
after Rick Moranis
stopped acting.
624
00:36:04,933 --> 00:36:07,732
You wanna stand in line
over there and wait?
Be my guest.
625
00:36:07,834 --> 00:36:09,837
But I got too many dudes
in there right now
626
00:36:09,939 --> 00:36:12,604
trying to get with chicks,
and I need to keep
this area clear.
627
00:36:12,706 --> 00:36:14,679
RODDY: No, don't...
Don't, please...
628
00:36:14,814 --> 00:36:16,748
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Congratulations. You've been
moved to back of the line.
629
00:36:16,850 --> 00:36:20,219
Hey, dudes. Friday night.
630
00:36:21,647 --> 00:36:25,489
Angela? It's, uh, it's 7:50.
631
00:36:25,591 --> 00:36:29,592
Kick off's at 8:00. So, told you
this is really important to me.
632
00:36:29,694 --> 00:36:32,556
- Go ahead without me.
- Why? What are you
doing in there?
633
00:36:32,658 --> 00:36:35,366
Just go. I'll meet you there.
634
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:39,271
Listen, I'm sorry, okay? I...
635
00:36:40,300 --> 00:36:42,670
I overreacted.
636
00:36:42,772 --> 00:36:46,410
I... I really need you playing D
for me tonight, okay?
637
00:36:48,748 --> 00:36:50,277
Oh! Yuck.
638
00:36:50,379 --> 00:36:52,317
- Get out!
- Yeah, I should.
639
00:36:54,315 --> 00:36:56,453
[KIMBERLY SOBBING]
640
00:37:05,997 --> 00:37:08,025
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
641
00:37:14,541 --> 00:37:15,670
Hey.
642
00:37:15,772 --> 00:37:17,475
- Are you seriously
still in bed?
- Evidently.
643
00:37:17,577 --> 00:37:20,178
Come on! I need you
to come with me tonight.
We're going out.
644
00:37:20,314 --> 00:37:22,642
- I don't really feel up for it.
- Oh, my God.
645
00:37:22,744 --> 00:37:24,746
You need to let this
whole Roddy thing go.
646
00:37:24,848 --> 00:37:28,452
Okay? He's not good for you.
He is a boy and you need a man.
647
00:37:28,554 --> 00:37:30,419
- [SIGHS]
- If you're not gonna
do it for yourself,
648
00:37:30,522 --> 00:37:33,091
then do it for me, okay?
I can't go to a V-Club
649
00:37:33,193 --> 00:37:35,223
by myself at night.
It's not safe.
650
00:37:35,325 --> 00:37:37,191
I don't really feel up to it.
651
00:37:37,293 --> 00:37:40,261
This doesn't have to do with,
like, the whole me getting
canceled thing, does it?
652
00:37:40,363 --> 00:37:44,428
Of course not. No, I just, um...
653
00:37:44,530 --> 00:37:47,671
- Lemme think about it.
- No! No, that just means
you're going to blow me off,
654
00:37:47,773 --> 00:37:51,307
which normally would be fine,
but, like, not tonight. Please.
655
00:37:51,409 --> 00:37:53,804
Uh, lemme... Lemme
call you back, okay?
656
00:37:53,906 --> 00:37:56,315
- Just one second.
- What the fuck?
657
00:38:01,647 --> 00:38:03,916
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
658
00:38:13,595 --> 00:38:15,400
We got your table
waiting for you.
659
00:38:18,036 --> 00:38:20,565
All right. There's gotta be
a security flaw
in here somewhere, right?
660
00:38:20,667 --> 00:38:22,907
Nothing can be perfect, right?
661
00:38:23,009 --> 00:38:24,475
Give me something good.
662
00:38:27,278 --> 00:38:28,677
Wait. Computer, pause code.
663
00:38:36,323 --> 00:38:38,621
Okay, wait.
That can't be right, right?
664
00:38:40,421 --> 00:38:42,056
[ELECTRICAL BUZZING]
665
00:38:42,158 --> 00:38:44,462
Oh, shit, no!
666
00:38:45,063 --> 00:38:47,098
Oh, baby, I'm sorry.
667
00:38:47,200 --> 00:38:49,896
Daddy did it bad.
No, no, no, no.
668
00:38:51,837 --> 00:38:53,064
[SIGHS]
669
00:38:54,934 --> 00:38:57,040
Well, I think
I need some backup.
670
00:38:57,142 --> 00:38:58,969
There he is. Take a seat!
671
00:38:59,071 --> 00:39:01,410
There are some people
I want you to meet.
672
00:39:01,512 --> 00:39:04,746
This is Vlad, Sergey,
Stav, and Bones.
673
00:39:04,848 --> 00:39:07,152
- Pleasure to meet you all.
- So, where's the golden boy?
674
00:39:07,254 --> 00:39:09,148
- He'll be here, Dad.
- He'd better be!
675
00:39:09,250 --> 00:39:12,054
We need him
to get back to some
real hetero ball playing.
676
00:39:12,156 --> 00:39:14,258
Let's cut to chase.
677
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,957
We're looking
to make a deal today.
678
00:39:21,164 --> 00:39:22,632
[LAPTOP CHIMES]
679
00:39:26,535 --> 00:39:28,165
Welcome to the single life.
680
00:39:31,910 --> 00:39:33,071
No way.
681
00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:37,281
Hey, Kim. I heard
things are on the outs
with Roddy.
682
00:39:37,383 --> 00:39:39,212
Breakups are, like,
really hard.
683
00:39:39,347 --> 00:39:42,119
I want you to know
I'm here for you emotionally,
as a friend
684
00:39:42,221 --> 00:39:43,751
and also very much sexually.
685
00:39:43,853 --> 00:39:46,722
Anyway, I hope you like
this video. Subscribe.
686
00:39:52,527 --> 00:39:54,725
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
687
00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:57,029
Well, isn't this something?
688
00:39:57,131 --> 00:39:59,801
I didn't expect to see
your rat ass on my screen again.
689
00:39:59,903 --> 00:40:02,100
You know we can't talk to you.
We're with Kalvin now.
690
00:40:02,202 --> 00:40:05,202
- You guys are in the Klan?
- BOTH: Kalvin Kluck Klan!
691
00:40:05,771 --> 00:40:07,171
Kalvin takes care of us.
692
00:40:07,273 --> 00:40:10,313
Puts a roof over our heads.
He's a benevolent leader.
693
00:40:10,415 --> 00:40:12,481
Yeah, even if we weren't
with him,
694
00:40:12,583 --> 00:40:13,978
I mean, we can't be
talking to you.
695
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,087
You got a maxed out tab
and no collateral.
696
00:40:16,189 --> 00:40:17,781
Look, I'm desperate, all right?
697
00:40:17,883 --> 00:40:19,282
What kind of keygen you need?
698
00:40:19,384 --> 00:40:23,456
- I need a backend
to Club Kaboom...
- [SNICKERING]
699
00:40:23,558 --> 00:40:25,122
...with bottle service.
700
00:40:25,224 --> 00:40:27,291
[LAUGHING] Tell me, Roddy,
you out of your mind?
701
00:40:27,393 --> 00:40:29,697
Club Kaboom is the most
heavily-guarded club
on the Internet.
702
00:40:29,799 --> 00:40:31,700
They've got firewalls
on top of firewalls.
703
00:40:31,802 --> 00:40:33,672
No way you're getting in there
without an invite.
704
00:40:33,774 --> 00:40:35,670
- I found a ruptured
open-source lockbox.
- That's impossible
705
00:40:35,772 --> 00:40:37,301
with the security protocols
in that place,
706
00:40:37,403 --> 00:40:39,069
probably get your ass kicked
sneaking into a place like that.
707
00:40:39,171 --> 00:40:42,239
That's a risk
I'm willing to take. Look...
708
00:40:43,517 --> 00:40:46,176
The girl I love
is going into that club tonight.
709
00:40:46,278 --> 00:40:49,213
If I don't get in there,
I could lose her forever.
710
00:40:49,348 --> 00:40:52,320
BOTH: Kalvin Kluck Klan.
Kalvin Kluck Klan. Gut Shabbos.
711
00:40:52,422 --> 00:40:53,952
I know this sounds crazy,
712
00:40:54,054 --> 00:40:56,826
but I need your help
and I need that keygen.
713
00:40:56,928 --> 00:41:00,928
Okay. Listen, stop talking
for a second and listen to me.
714
00:41:01,030 --> 00:41:03,801
I... I have a guy who has access
to a skeleton keygen,
715
00:41:03,904 --> 00:41:07,605
but it's not gonna be cheap
and this didn't come
from me, okay?
716
00:41:08,206 --> 00:41:10,574
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
717
00:41:10,676 --> 00:41:13,906
- So, are you coming?
- I haven't made up my mind.
718
00:41:14,008 --> 00:41:16,414
Ugh! Just come.
You're being so annoying.
719
00:41:16,516 --> 00:41:19,615
By the way, do you know
who Kalvin Kluck is?
720
00:41:19,717 --> 00:41:22,216
Yeah! [IN DEEP VOICE]
Kalvin Kluck Klan!
721
00:41:22,318 --> 00:41:25,851
He messaged me, like,
the second I changed
my relationship status.
722
00:41:25,953 --> 00:41:27,888
Oh, my God.
He's actually kinda hot.
723
00:41:27,990 --> 00:41:31,194
He's like Roddy's arch.
That doesn't feel... fair.
724
00:41:31,296 --> 00:41:32,762
Oh, my God. Screw Roddy.
725
00:41:34,401 --> 00:41:36,299
I'm going
to Club Kaboom tonight.
726
00:41:36,401 --> 00:41:38,799
You should come. Subscribe.
727
00:41:38,935 --> 00:41:40,305
- Who was that?
- You're never gonna believe
728
00:41:40,407 --> 00:41:41,666
who's coming
to the party tonight.
729
00:41:41,768 --> 00:41:43,371
Oh, my God. Tobey Maguire?
730
00:41:43,473 --> 00:41:45,775
No. [CHUCKLES] Kalvin.
731
00:41:45,877 --> 00:41:48,745
Get it, girl! Come on.
Get dressed. We're going out.
732
00:41:49,478 --> 00:41:51,044
[KEYBOARD CLACKING]
733
00:41:52,815 --> 00:41:55,185
Danny, are you coming down
for dinner?
734
00:41:55,287 --> 00:41:56,851
DANNY: I'm not hungry.
735
00:41:56,953 --> 00:41:59,317
[SIGHS] What the hell
is he even doing up there?
736
00:41:59,419 --> 00:42:02,727
You know I can't talk about it.
Doctor-patient confidentiality.
737
00:42:02,829 --> 00:42:06,261
- I don't know.
- He's not a patient, Devine.
He's our son.
738
00:42:06,363 --> 00:42:07,827
Only biologically.
739
00:42:07,963 --> 00:42:09,660
DEVINE: You should see me
right now.
740
00:42:09,762 --> 00:42:12,603
I'm sprawled out on my futon,
in just a bathrobe
and jean shorts.
741
00:42:12,705 --> 00:42:15,206
You could fry an egg
on my pectoral muscles.
742
00:42:15,309 --> 00:42:17,004
- What were you saying?
- Um...
743
00:42:17,106 --> 00:42:19,275
EVELYN: Why don't you come
join me in the tub?
744
00:42:19,410 --> 00:42:21,276
The water is so warm.
745
00:42:21,411 --> 00:42:22,672
Perfect for denim.
746
00:42:22,774 --> 00:42:24,011
I think, uh...
747
00:42:24,745 --> 00:42:26,149
Danny is on the dark web.
748
00:42:26,251 --> 00:42:27,719
Oh, that's great!
749
00:42:27,821 --> 00:42:30,215
[STUTTERING] Uh, what is that?
A Black Lives Matter thing?
750
00:42:30,350 --> 00:42:33,017
DEVINE: My jean shorts
are busting at the seams.
751
00:42:33,119 --> 00:42:34,752
I'll meet you
at the night club.
752
00:42:34,854 --> 00:42:36,727
Black Lives Matter? No.
753
00:42:36,829 --> 00:42:39,763
I think he's selling weapons
to Iran or something.
754
00:42:39,865 --> 00:42:43,463
Uh, he's a hard worker,
just like his old man, huh?
755
00:42:43,565 --> 00:42:45,997
I'm so sick of this.
756
00:42:46,099 --> 00:42:49,768
You don't listen
and you don't care.
757
00:42:49,870 --> 00:42:51,707
I heard everything you said.
758
00:42:51,810 --> 00:42:54,713
Our son is selling arms
to Black Lives Matter.
759
00:42:54,815 --> 00:42:57,278
- Where are you going now?
- I'm going to do some laundry.
760
00:42:57,380 --> 00:42:59,109
More laundry?
761
00:42:59,211 --> 00:43:01,950
Who's wearing
all these damn clothes?
762
00:43:08,859 --> 00:43:10,825
- [CLEARS THROAT]
- [DISTORTED VOICE SPEAKING]
763
00:43:10,927 --> 00:43:13,464
Hello, this is Roddy,
Mr. Megladon, sir.
764
00:43:13,566 --> 00:43:15,865
I'm a gamer.
I go by "Roddy Danger."
765
00:43:18,164 --> 00:43:21,070
But you have
seen my streams, sir?
766
00:43:21,172 --> 00:43:25,437
I need a open source
skeleton keygen
to get into a cyber club.
767
00:43:25,539 --> 00:43:26,744
[LAUGHS]
768
00:43:33,179 --> 00:43:35,379
Okay, I don't know
who or what that is.
769
00:43:38,286 --> 00:43:41,825
Jesus! What the hell?
I have to call the police now.
770
00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,729
So, what are you, like, 12?
771
00:43:45,595 --> 00:43:46,861
Okay, kid, listen to me.
772
00:43:46,964 --> 00:43:48,963
The girl I love is going
into that club tonight,
773
00:43:49,065 --> 00:43:51,065
if I don't get in there,
I could lose her forever.
774
00:43:53,866 --> 00:43:56,941
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
I don't understand.
Why would you lose her forever?
775
00:43:57,043 --> 00:43:58,138
It's...
776
00:43:59,572 --> 00:44:01,906
It's just like there's gonna be
a bunch of guys in there,
777
00:44:02,009 --> 00:44:06,280
you know, and I'm just afraid
she's gonna meet some gamer
who has his shit together
778
00:44:06,383 --> 00:44:09,312
and fall in love with him,
you know, like,
someone who's ranked.
779
00:44:09,415 --> 00:44:11,153
Yeah, because
you're kind of a little bitch.
780
00:44:11,255 --> 00:44:13,650
Okay, don't say
mean things to people.
Where are your parents?
781
00:44:13,752 --> 00:44:15,858
I can talk to you
however I want.
I have something you need.
782
00:44:15,960 --> 00:44:18,027
Okay. Well, I have money.
I have grown-up money.
783
00:44:18,129 --> 00:44:21,726
- Yeah? How much?
- I have, uh, $1,700
in traveler's checks.
784
00:44:21,828 --> 00:44:24,964
Are you high? I mean,
we're not even in the same
conversation right now.
785
00:44:25,066 --> 00:44:26,930
Besides, I only take
Bitcoin or Ether.
786
00:44:27,032 --> 00:44:31,138
Okay, what if I get you the,
uh, French tugboat
from Alexandra Ocasia Cor...
787
00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:34,075
- whatever her name is?
- Natalia Dominguez Martinez.
788
00:44:34,177 --> 00:44:38,679
Okay, yeah, her. Okay, so,
I get the tugboat from her,
789
00:44:38,782 --> 00:44:42,919
- and then you give me the key?
- Sure, but I mean, good luck
getting her to give it up.
790
00:44:45,056 --> 00:44:48,486
Sure, I can do that.
Just tell me where to find her.
791
00:44:48,588 --> 00:44:51,259
- What's the hold up, Barry?
- He said he was gonna be here,
792
00:44:51,362 --> 00:44:53,795
I'm sure he's just
planning on coming in
at the second quarter.
793
00:44:53,897 --> 00:44:56,460
You're embarrassing me.
Go get him.
794
00:44:59,604 --> 00:45:00,970
- Yo.
- Where are you, man?
795
00:45:01,072 --> 00:45:02,903
You were supposed to be
in this meeting 30 minutes ago.
796
00:45:03,005 --> 00:45:04,569
Yeah, this girl
never got back to me
797
00:45:04,671 --> 00:45:07,673
and I really thought
we hit if off,
so I decided not to come.
798
00:45:07,775 --> 00:45:10,674
- Gotta brush up on the V-Ball.
- Here's what
I don't understand, man.
799
00:45:10,777 --> 00:45:14,418
You begged me.
You begged me to find you
a place to play ball.
800
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:18,455
I do that. And all you have
to do is show up to this meeting
and you can't do that?
801
00:45:18,557 --> 00:45:20,220
I told you, I'm not going alone.
802
00:45:20,322 --> 00:45:22,924
You don't have to bring a date
to a business meeting!
803
00:45:23,026 --> 00:45:24,827
Also, why would this girl
flake on you?
804
00:45:24,929 --> 00:45:27,290
I don't know,
maybe she was intimidated.
805
00:45:27,392 --> 00:45:29,231
- Monte...
- I sandbagged, all right?
806
00:45:29,333 --> 00:45:31,900
Dear God, did you at least
tell me you got
tested afterwards?
807
00:45:32,003 --> 00:45:34,537
What? No, man.
That's not what sandbagging is.
808
00:45:34,639 --> 00:45:38,368
You said that I shouldn't
date girls who just want me
for my status or whatever,
809
00:45:38,471 --> 00:45:41,205
so I told Chatbot
I was a high school coach.
810
00:45:41,307 --> 00:45:43,480
That is not at all
what I meant! No!
811
00:45:43,582 --> 00:45:44,913
You went way too far with that.
812
00:45:45,016 --> 00:45:46,743
Dude, just please don't change
into something
813
00:45:46,845 --> 00:45:49,448
that makes you look
little bit less
like a giant speed skater
814
00:45:49,550 --> 00:45:52,217
- and get into
this meeting, please!
- Not without a date.
815
00:45:52,319 --> 00:45:54,518
- [LINE DISCONNECTS]
- [GROANS IN FRUSTRATION]
816
00:45:55,689 --> 00:45:57,026
Okay.
817
00:45:58,628 --> 00:46:00,161
Here goes nothing.
818
00:46:02,028 --> 00:46:04,803
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
819
00:46:05,837 --> 00:46:09,401
[GRUNTING] No, no.
[SCREAMING] Whoa!
820
00:46:11,271 --> 00:46:14,010
- [BIRDS SQUAWKING]
- [WAVES CRASHING]
821
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:25,690
Why are you here?
You're a grown-up.
822
00:46:25,792 --> 00:46:27,318
Oh, no, no.
I'm not a creep or anything.
823
00:46:27,420 --> 00:46:30,259
I just need a French tugboat
from a pre-teen.
824
00:46:30,361 --> 00:46:35,526
- I see. You seek Natalia.
Take you to her, I will.
- Thank you.
825
00:46:48,244 --> 00:46:52,216
- Natalia?
- I know you,
you're Roddy Danger.
826
00:46:52,318 --> 00:46:55,313
- I saw your stream last night.
You've really lost it.
- Yeah, I know.
827
00:46:55,415 --> 00:46:57,516
- What are you doing here?
- I need a favor.
828
00:46:57,618 --> 00:47:00,758
- A favor?
- Legally, I can't really ask you
to do anything.
829
00:47:00,861 --> 00:47:03,589
Just, uh, think of this
more as a suggestion.
830
00:47:03,692 --> 00:47:06,926
And I just wanna let you know
I did see
the Epstein documentary.
831
00:47:07,028 --> 00:47:09,128
- Horrifying.
- Who's Epstein?
832
00:47:09,230 --> 00:47:13,137
Not important.
So, there's this guy
833
00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:14,932
and, uh...
834
00:47:15,034 --> 00:47:18,809
- Well, he... He seems
to really like you a lot.
- Okay? I'm listening.
835
00:47:18,912 --> 00:47:21,640
And, uh, he wants you
to give him something.
836
00:47:21,742 --> 00:47:24,849
I'm not sure I like
where this is going.
What does he want?
837
00:47:24,951 --> 00:47:27,845
- He wants a, uh...
- Spit it out. What does he want?
838
00:47:27,947 --> 00:47:30,018
French tugboat.
839
00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:32,789
It's that nerdy sixth grader,
isn't it?
840
00:47:32,891 --> 00:47:34,492
What does he
call himself, Megatron?
841
00:47:34,594 --> 00:47:36,093
Megladon. He's a great guy.
842
00:47:36,195 --> 00:47:39,356
Really likes you a lot.
And, um, he's gotta have
that tugboat.
843
00:47:39,458 --> 00:47:41,861
Really? Conventional
or a tractor?
844
00:47:41,963 --> 00:47:43,463
Uh, conventional, I think.
845
00:47:43,565 --> 00:47:45,865
- How many thrusters?
- I don't know.
And I don't wanna know.
846
00:47:45,967 --> 00:47:47,498
I just know he wants one.
847
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,272
Every teenage boy wants one.
What's in it for me?
848
00:47:50,374 --> 00:47:53,339
- I've got
some traveler's checks.
- Ew, gross! I'm a child!
849
00:47:53,441 --> 00:47:55,706
That's not what I meant.
I'll tell you what I want.
850
00:47:55,808 --> 00:47:58,545
- Get me
into the Kalvin Kluck Klan.
- Oh, come on. Really?
851
00:47:58,648 --> 00:48:01,550
Get me into the Klan
and I'll give Megladon
his French tugboat.
852
00:48:01,652 --> 00:48:04,120
RODDY: [SIGHS] Okay.
853
00:48:14,161 --> 00:48:16,066
Nah, this ain't gonna work.
854
00:48:20,066 --> 00:48:21,368
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]
855
00:48:23,607 --> 00:48:24,668
Okey-dokey.
856
00:48:29,976 --> 00:48:32,581
ID? Oh, shit!
857
00:48:32,683 --> 00:48:34,051
La Monte Mar Jones!
858
00:48:34,153 --> 00:48:36,420
I had you on my daily fantasy
before you got canceled.
859
00:48:36,522 --> 00:48:39,152
Bro, I don't care
who you senselessly murdered
with your negligence.
860
00:48:39,254 --> 00:48:41,158
Be cool, playa.
Don't make a scene.
861
00:48:41,260 --> 00:48:44,087
Fo sho, fo sho, fo sho.
I just gotta check you
real quick.
862
00:48:44,189 --> 00:48:45,926
All right, you good.
863
00:48:46,028 --> 00:48:47,193
Oh, shit, don't cough on me!
864
00:48:47,295 --> 00:48:48,659
[CHUCKLES] Sorry,
I'm just kidding.
865
00:48:54,003 --> 00:48:56,568
That's it. We're doing this.
866
00:49:01,608 --> 00:49:03,675
You can't cut!
I've been here for two hours!
867
00:49:03,777 --> 00:49:06,378
I'm sorry! It's just the girl
I love is going into the club
868
00:49:06,481 --> 00:49:09,813
and if I don't get in there...
Uh, never mind!
869
00:49:09,915 --> 00:49:13,251
Roddy Danger?
What are you doing here?
You're not ranked.
870
00:49:13,353 --> 00:49:15,052
- [SIGHS] Hey, Kalvin.
- Hey, man.
871
00:49:15,154 --> 00:49:17,794
I would love to stick around
and give you an autograph
or something,
872
00:49:17,896 --> 00:49:19,224
but I gotta get inside. Subscribe.
873
00:49:19,326 --> 00:49:21,295
Actually, Kalvin,
I need a favor.
874
00:49:21,397 --> 00:49:23,793
Oh, okay. I'm gonna
try to put this delicately.
875
00:49:23,895 --> 00:49:26,702
I think you're a wannabe,
talentless piece of shit,
876
00:49:26,804 --> 00:49:30,873
and I am really not interested
in doing any charity work
right now. Subscribe.
877
00:49:30,975 --> 00:49:32,073
You know what?
I'm sorry I asked.
878
00:49:32,175 --> 00:49:33,405
I hope you have
a great night in there.
879
00:49:33,508 --> 00:49:35,206
Oh, thanks, man.
I'll say hi to Kimberly for you.
880
00:49:35,308 --> 00:49:38,016
[STUTTERING] You'll do what now?
881
00:49:40,113 --> 00:49:41,613
[DIGITAL BEEPING]
882
00:49:42,449 --> 00:49:44,619
Barry, I'm here.
Just waiting on my date.
883
00:49:44,721 --> 00:49:47,325
She's in the meeting already.
What the hell
did you do to yourself?
884
00:49:47,427 --> 00:49:50,426
You look like Urkel!
Could you put on a normal avatar
and get in here?
885
00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:53,263
- I don't know why you teabagged
in the first place.
- Sandbagged.
886
00:49:53,365 --> 00:49:55,996
Whatever. When she sees how much
money you're about to make,
887
00:49:56,098 --> 00:49:57,695
none of that's gonna matter.
888
00:50:05,037 --> 00:50:08,475
Where's Sally?
You... You texted me
that she was here already.
889
00:50:08,577 --> 00:50:10,609
Yeah. She... She just
stepped out. Here, have a seat.
890
00:50:13,083 --> 00:50:14,548
Hey, I got
the Kalvin Kluck Coin.
891
00:50:14,650 --> 00:50:16,885
- That's what you need, right?
- Yeah. How did you get it?
892
00:50:16,987 --> 00:50:19,156
- Oh, my God. Oh, no!
- What?
893
00:50:19,258 --> 00:50:20,783
- Oh, that wasn't supposed
to happen.
- Tell me.
894
00:50:20,885 --> 00:50:23,258
I used Crypto Klepto
to get a Kalvin Kluck Coin,
895
00:50:23,360 --> 00:50:24,955
so I could get you
into the Kalvin Kluck Klan.
896
00:50:25,058 --> 00:50:27,824
- Candidly, Crypto Klepto
caught his whole crypto clutch.
- So what?
897
00:50:27,926 --> 00:50:30,431
So, I guess I mistakenly
kleptoed all his crypto cash.
898
00:50:30,533 --> 00:50:32,233
If that ends up
on the blockchain,
you're finished!
899
00:50:32,335 --> 00:50:33,664
- You got to dekleptonate.
- Dekleptonate?
900
00:50:33,766 --> 00:50:36,137
Yeah. You have to reverse
the algorithm, and fast,
901
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:37,436
before the next
hashing cycle completes.
902
00:50:37,538 --> 00:50:39,207
We're talking
less than 15 minutes here.
903
00:50:39,309 --> 00:50:41,078
Okay. What happens
if I don't reverse it?
904
00:50:41,180 --> 00:50:42,473
That's like, Grand Theft Auto,
except with money.
905
00:50:42,575 --> 00:50:44,111
You'll probably
go to prison, idiot.
906
00:50:44,213 --> 00:50:45,877
- It was an accident.
- Not really.
907
00:50:45,980 --> 00:50:48,783
Look, Kalvin is in that club.
I need the keygen
to get in there
908
00:50:48,885 --> 00:50:51,614
and I still need you
to give Megladon the thing
I need you to give him.
909
00:50:51,716 --> 00:50:53,922
All right.
I'm taking care of that now.
910
00:50:54,024 --> 00:50:55,152
- [DIGITAL BEEPING]
- Done.
911
00:50:55,254 --> 00:50:56,689
You just did it now?
912
00:50:56,791 --> 00:50:59,156
I guess I thought it would, uh,
take a little bit longer.
913
00:50:59,258 --> 00:51:01,363
Okay, one second.
914
00:51:01,465 --> 00:51:04,564
Roddy, I got the tugboat
from Natalia. She's incredible.
915
00:51:04,666 --> 00:51:08,138
No, don't tell me anything.
Just, uh, wash your hands.
916
00:51:08,240 --> 00:51:10,438
And, uh, please don't
tell anyone I'm involved.
917
00:51:10,540 --> 00:51:12,536
- Here, lemme send you a picture.
- Definitely do not.
918
00:51:12,638 --> 00:51:14,272
Do... I repeat
do not send a picture.
919
00:51:14,374 --> 00:51:16,211
Just please send the keygen.
920
00:51:16,313 --> 00:51:18,446
Yeah, uh, I got your keygen.
Sending now.
921
00:51:20,883 --> 00:51:23,150
Oh, yeah.
922
00:51:23,252 --> 00:51:25,286
- [DIGITAL BEEPING]
- Right, okay.
923
00:51:25,388 --> 00:51:27,618
That's... That's...
That French tugboat.
924
00:51:27,720 --> 00:51:29,458
What did you think
a French tugboat was?
925
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,958
You some kind of pervert?
This isn't Palm Beach island.
926
00:51:32,060 --> 00:51:35,597
I know. And, uh, I was horrified
by that documentary,
just so you know.
927
00:51:35,700 --> 00:51:37,829
- How did you even
get this thing?
- We don't need to talk about it.
928
00:51:37,931 --> 00:51:40,631
Well, thank you. And if you have
a chance to speak to Natalia,
929
00:51:40,733 --> 00:51:42,639
can you please tell her
to stop sexting me?
930
00:51:42,741 --> 00:51:46,844
[SIGHS] Can you all just
figure your shit out
and stop middlemanning me?
931
00:51:46,946 --> 00:51:48,872
Y'all need Jesus
and cold showers.
932
00:51:49,474 --> 00:51:51,677
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
933
00:51:57,122 --> 00:51:59,115
Chatty, I need to
check in with Barry.
934
00:51:59,217 --> 00:52:02,087
Why don't I meet you
on the dance floor
in, like, 10 minutes?
935
00:52:02,189 --> 00:52:03,557
Oh, I'll be there.
936
00:52:08,164 --> 00:52:10,201
[CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING]
937
00:52:12,135 --> 00:52:13,633
ANGELA: I'm so sorry I'm late.
938
00:52:14,933 --> 00:52:17,705
No, I'm glad you made it.
You're just in time.
939
00:52:17,807 --> 00:52:21,877
- I want you to meet Vlad,
Sergey, Stav, and Bones.
- A pleasure.
940
00:52:21,979 --> 00:52:24,811
The pleasure is all mine.
941
00:52:24,913 --> 00:52:26,750
[LAUGHS]
942
00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:28,285
Now you two kiss hands.
943
00:52:28,387 --> 00:52:31,084
- Dad, you were saying...
the league?
- Oh, yes, yes.
944
00:52:31,186 --> 00:52:33,189
When I say "Antarctica,"
945
00:52:33,291 --> 00:52:35,254
what's the first thing
that comes to mind?
946
00:52:35,356 --> 00:52:38,123
Cold. Eskimos. The South Pole.
947
00:52:38,225 --> 00:52:39,690
Well, not anymore.
948
00:52:39,793 --> 00:52:43,493
We're turning Antarctica
into a hotbed for hoops.
949
00:52:43,595 --> 00:52:46,529
We're turning this... into this.
950
00:52:46,631 --> 00:52:48,232
Don't Eskimos live in the North?
951
00:52:48,334 --> 00:52:50,802
[SPEAKING RUSSIAN]
952
00:53:07,152 --> 00:53:09,791
Wait, wait. There's nothing
down there. Where we gonna play?
953
00:53:09,893 --> 00:53:13,994
Thats where my new friends,
Vlad, Sergey,
Stav, and Bones come in.
954
00:53:14,096 --> 00:53:18,168
They have financed arenas
and sporting franchises
all over the world.
955
00:53:18,270 --> 00:53:20,435
They've secured a piece of land
right across
956
00:53:20,537 --> 00:53:23,503
from Druzhnaya Airport
in Princess Elizabeth Land
957
00:53:23,606 --> 00:53:25,868
and we're planning
to break ground next week.
958
00:53:25,970 --> 00:53:28,642
Well, do we have
any other players signed on?
959
00:53:28,744 --> 00:53:31,644
Of course. We're talking
to Rudy Gobert, Furkan Korkmaz,
960
00:53:31,746 --> 00:53:34,346
- DJ Hightower, Nerlens Noel...
- We need to talk.
961
00:53:34,448 --> 00:53:35,746
Not now. This is important.
962
00:53:35,882 --> 00:53:38,114
...Chad Michael Murray,
the kid from Like Mike.
963
00:53:38,216 --> 00:53:41,419
- We're even working on a deal
with Teen Wolf.
- Yes, now.
964
00:53:41,521 --> 00:53:44,188
We're closing here. It can wait.
965
00:53:44,290 --> 00:53:45,791
No, it can't.
966
00:53:47,027 --> 00:53:49,231
Ugh! What are you...
Are you crazy?
What are you doing?
967
00:53:49,333 --> 00:53:50,363
You need to get La Monte
out of there.
968
00:53:50,465 --> 00:53:52,097
No, we're about to sign
the deal.
969
00:53:52,199 --> 00:53:54,501
I overheard the Russians.
They're planning on drugging
his avatar
970
00:53:54,604 --> 00:53:56,833
with a virus that could take out
all of V-Sports.
971
00:53:56,935 --> 00:53:58,640
That's ridiculous.
Why would they do that?
972
00:53:58,742 --> 00:54:00,608
So they could corner the market
with their Antarctica League.
973
00:54:00,710 --> 00:54:02,974
- Why La Monte?
- Because he is like
Scotty Bippin.
974
00:54:03,076 --> 00:54:06,678
If Scotty Bippin
was the most contagious man
in the world!
975
00:54:06,780 --> 00:54:09,748
You just wanna ruin everything,
don't you?
976
00:54:09,850 --> 00:54:12,587
You just wanna see me fail,
so you can sit back
977
00:54:12,689 --> 00:54:15,488
and laugh at me, you and that
digital dildo of yours.
978
00:54:15,590 --> 00:54:17,458
- Leave Chatty out of it.
- Chatty. Is it?
979
00:54:17,560 --> 00:54:19,423
You think
I'm the one ruining your life?
980
00:54:19,525 --> 00:54:22,933
You're trying so hard to impress
your macho father
and he doesn't care about you.
981
00:54:23,035 --> 00:54:25,501
That's not true! He loves me!
982
00:54:26,504 --> 00:54:29,840
- I'm his bear.
- Barry. you have to believe me,
983
00:54:29,942 --> 00:54:31,936
I say this because I care.
984
00:54:32,978 --> 00:54:34,573
[SIGHS] Damn it, Angela.
985
00:54:34,675 --> 00:54:36,740
You need to be
very, very careful.
986
00:54:36,842 --> 00:54:39,611
If they know you know,
we're all dead.
987
00:54:39,713 --> 00:54:42,012
- You gotta get La Monte out.
- Okay.
988
00:54:43,087 --> 00:54:45,450
Okay. I have an idea.
989
00:54:45,552 --> 00:54:47,587
I don't understand why you're...
990
00:54:47,689 --> 00:54:50,658
What do you call it,
"sandbagging" yourself?
991
00:54:50,760 --> 00:54:53,691
Because I've finally met someone
who likes me for me,
992
00:54:53,793 --> 00:54:56,296
not because of my fame
or my looks.
993
00:54:56,398 --> 00:54:58,901
Ugh. Should we be doing this?
994
00:54:59,003 --> 00:55:00,866
Yes. Yes, we should.
995
00:55:00,968 --> 00:55:02,965
- What's goin' on, ladies?
You have tickets?
- Duh.
996
00:55:03,067 --> 00:55:05,941
- Well, can I see them?
- Yeah, here you go.
997
00:55:06,043 --> 00:55:09,645
Have a great night.
Hey, just so you know,
there's no smoking inside.
998
00:55:09,747 --> 00:55:13,613
Vapes, real cigs, or candy cigs,
to look cool in front of kids.
999
00:55:13,716 --> 00:55:15,552
Ah, cool, thanks.
Clarissa, are you coming?
1000
00:55:15,654 --> 00:55:19,122
I can't find my ticket.
I'm on Coach Swish's
list though.
1001
00:55:19,224 --> 00:55:21,191
OMG, that's so epic.
Oh, my gosh.
1002
00:55:21,293 --> 00:55:22,852
He put you on his list?
That's big-time.
1003
00:55:22,954 --> 00:55:24,524
That means he really must
like you.
1004
00:55:24,626 --> 00:55:26,390
Psych. That's a fake name, sweetheart.
1005
00:55:26,492 --> 00:55:29,059
- There's no Coach Swish on here.
- No, he said he would
put me on the list.
1006
00:55:29,161 --> 00:55:31,796
Is everything okay?
Do you want me to wait for you?
1007
00:55:31,898 --> 00:55:33,668
No, no. Go ahead,
I'll be in in a minute.
1008
00:55:33,770 --> 00:55:35,931
I am so sorry about that.
Angela, can you excuse us
1009
00:55:36,033 --> 00:55:37,873
for a few minutes
to wrap this one up?
1010
00:55:37,975 --> 00:55:40,476
Just grab a drink or something.
I'll meet you
on the dance floor.
1011
00:55:40,578 --> 00:55:42,105
- So, where were we?
- VLAD: Let's cut to chase.
1012
00:55:42,207 --> 00:55:46,077
We want Monte Mar to be
the face of the new league.
1013
00:55:46,179 --> 00:55:49,852
- Well, I like the sound of that.
- You know, I just remembered
1014
00:55:49,954 --> 00:55:53,388
La Monte has a really
severe case
of Seasonal Affective Disorder.
1015
00:55:53,490 --> 00:55:56,025
I told you that
in confidence, Barry!
1016
00:55:56,127 --> 00:55:57,558
Ah, this is not a problem.
1017
00:55:57,661 --> 00:56:01,424
Only one season
in Antarctica: cold and colder.
1018
00:56:01,526 --> 00:56:04,827
- That's two seasons.
- We're willing to make
a very generous offer.
1019
00:56:04,929 --> 00:56:07,438
What kind of offer
are we talking?
1020
00:56:11,272 --> 00:56:15,006
- That's what's up.
- Just give me one moment
to discuss with my client.
1021
00:56:20,349 --> 00:56:22,319
What the hell? Barry!
1022
00:56:22,421 --> 00:56:24,687
Okay, here's the deal.
There is no deal.
1023
00:56:24,789 --> 00:56:27,784
La Monte is never going
to survive two weeks
in Antarctica,
1024
00:56:27,886 --> 00:56:29,787
much less six months
of darkness.
1025
00:56:29,889 --> 00:56:31,561
You'd be making
a horrible mistake.
1026
00:56:31,663 --> 00:56:36,434
Perhaps I am not the one
making the horrible mistake.
1027
00:56:36,536 --> 00:56:39,432
You're treading into
very dangerous territory, boy.
1028
00:56:39,534 --> 00:56:41,271
I know exactly what I'm doing.
1029
00:56:41,373 --> 00:56:44,934
Listen, to your papa.
He's smart man.
1030
00:56:45,036 --> 00:56:48,271
You sign deal,
you leave here alive.
1031
00:56:48,373 --> 00:56:53,847
- And if I don't?
- Then you leave here
how you say "not alive."
1032
00:56:54,446 --> 00:56:55,651
[GULPS]
1033
00:56:58,121 --> 00:57:00,117
[HEART BEATING]
1034
00:57:04,095 --> 00:57:07,663
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1035
00:57:09,332 --> 00:57:11,535
[LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING]
1036
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:29,815
EVELYN: I just got in line.
Are you here?
1037
00:57:29,951 --> 00:57:32,455
DEVINE: I'm about 20 feet
from the front.
1038
00:57:32,591 --> 00:57:36,555
EVELYN: Oh, my God!
My husband is here.
1039
00:57:36,657 --> 00:57:38,395
That lying son of a bitch.
1040
00:57:38,531 --> 00:57:41,364
DEVINE: What an asshole!
I'll kick his ass!
1041
00:57:41,500 --> 00:57:42,960
EVELYN: We need to find
a disguise now.
1042
00:57:43,095 --> 00:57:44,964
DEVINE: Yeah, yeah.
Good idea. Where?
1043
00:57:54,077 --> 00:57:56,040
- EVELYN: Raise your hand
so I can see you.
- I'm right here.
1044
00:57:56,142 --> 00:57:59,347
I see you. It looks like
my husband's gone, too.
1045
00:57:59,449 --> 00:58:01,750
Or that bastard must be inside.
1046
00:58:08,326 --> 00:58:09,358
- KALVIN: Guess who?
- [GASPS]
1047
00:58:09,460 --> 00:58:10,820
It's me, Kalvin Kluck. Subscribe.
1048
00:58:10,922 --> 00:58:13,464
Oh. [STUTTERING] Hey, Kalvin.
1049
00:58:13,566 --> 00:58:15,191
- What's up, mamacita?
- Thanks for inviting me.
1050
00:58:15,293 --> 00:58:17,031
- Yeah, no doubt.
You want a drink?
- Uh, sure.
1051
00:58:17,166 --> 00:58:21,699
Amigo! Dos Dos Equis.
Comprende?
That's quattro Equis.
1052
00:58:21,801 --> 00:58:23,935
Actually, I only drink Odyssey.
1053
00:58:24,070 --> 00:58:25,741
A refreshing and delicious
energy drink
1054
00:58:25,876 --> 00:58:27,909
for mood enhancement
and peak mental performance.
1055
00:58:28,011 --> 00:58:31,678
With only 35 calories, Odyssey
uses nootropic ingredients
1056
00:58:31,814 --> 00:58:33,780
like lion's mane
and cordyceps mushrooms
1057
00:58:33,916 --> 00:58:35,984
to provide
long-lasting clarity and focus
1058
00:58:36,086 --> 00:58:39,151
without the crash and jitters
of other leading energy drinks.
1059
00:58:39,253 --> 00:58:42,419
Odyssey Elixir.
Tap into the global
mycelial network
1060
00:58:42,521 --> 00:58:46,225
and the consciousness-raising
power of Metatron's Cube today.
1061
00:58:46,328 --> 00:58:47,829
Um, what?
1062
00:58:48,562 --> 00:58:49,961
Ah, that's weird.
1063
00:58:50,063 --> 00:58:52,535
Oh, I... I got it.
It's the least I can do.
1064
00:58:52,637 --> 00:58:55,071
Ah, subscribe.
I guess chivalry isn't dead.
1065
00:58:55,173 --> 00:58:57,305
Uh, what... Right.
1066
00:58:57,407 --> 00:59:00,875
Hey. So, like, no offense,
but do you want to go somewhere
a little more quiet?
1067
00:59:01,474 --> 00:59:03,042
Sure.
1068
00:59:10,987 --> 00:59:13,822
- [CELL PHONE RINGING]
- This some bullshit right here.
1069
00:59:16,292 --> 00:59:17,728
This is Swish.
1070
00:59:17,830 --> 00:59:20,191
Hey, I'm outside the club,
but they're not letting me in.
1071
00:59:20,293 --> 00:59:23,326
- I thought you were in already.
- Nope, just got here.
1072
00:59:24,095 --> 00:59:26,368
- Barry!
- Can you come get me?
1073
00:59:26,470 --> 00:59:28,804
Okey-dokey. Be right out.
1074
00:59:32,137 --> 00:59:34,774
Whoa, slow your role,
plain Jane.
1075
00:59:34,876 --> 00:59:38,248
It's all good, big guy.
She's with me.
1076
00:59:38,350 --> 00:59:42,013
Oh, that's what up.
Why didn't you tell me you were
here with La Monte Mar Jones?
1077
00:59:42,115 --> 00:59:45,582
- Because I'm not here with him?
- Seriously?
1078
00:59:45,684 --> 00:59:49,151
- Wait, isn't that the guy
who infected the entire NBA?
- Allegedly.
1079
00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:52,089
Wait a second.
Take off your Avatar.
1080
00:59:52,191 --> 00:59:55,164
- I really shouldn't.
- Take it off. Do it.
1081
00:59:55,266 --> 00:59:58,000
- I'm not really comfortable
with the whole idea.
- Show me some skin!
1082
00:59:58,102 --> 00:59:59,263
Fine!
1083
01:00:00,237 --> 01:00:01,831
You lied to me!
1084
01:00:01,933 --> 01:00:05,439
[GASPS] You're that
basketball player who killed
Viviane Donner's gam-gam!
1085
01:00:05,541 --> 01:00:07,208
It wasn't even like that.
1086
01:00:07,310 --> 01:00:10,811
You don't know
what it's like to get canceled
for an innocent mistake!
1087
01:00:10,913 --> 01:00:13,113
You know what?
Just leave me alone, okay?
1088
01:00:13,215 --> 01:00:16,016
I'm gonna go find my friend
and we're getting out of here.
1089
01:00:18,323 --> 01:00:19,922
- What?
- Oh. Uh, hey.
1090
01:00:20,024 --> 01:00:23,155
Couldn't help but overhear.
Are you La Monte Mar Jones?
1091
01:00:23,257 --> 01:00:25,863
Why don't you
take a screenshot?
It'll last longer.
1092
01:00:25,965 --> 01:00:28,925
No, no. I'm not a fan
or anything. I mean,
I'm not not a fan.
1093
01:00:29,027 --> 01:00:32,162
I'm just hoping you might be
willing to use your celebrity
to help me get in there.
1094
01:00:32,264 --> 01:00:34,967
I accidentally stole
like a hundred grand
1095
01:00:35,069 --> 01:00:37,271
and also the love of my life
is in there.
1096
01:00:37,373 --> 01:00:39,103
Love is a lie.
1097
01:00:39,205 --> 01:00:41,174
Now leave me the hell alone
before I shove
1098
01:00:41,276 --> 01:00:43,711
- my size-17 sneaker
up your narrow...
- [SHUTTER CLICKS]
1099
01:00:43,813 --> 01:00:46,309
[LAUGHING] I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
1100
01:00:46,411 --> 01:00:48,750
- We're old friends.
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]
1101
01:00:48,853 --> 01:00:51,347
I've got tons of nerdy-looking
white friends.
1102
01:00:51,449 --> 01:00:53,854
- He's also with me.
- You know I would, Monte,
1103
01:00:53,956 --> 01:00:55,689
but we at capacity
with dudes right now.
1104
01:00:55,791 --> 01:00:57,619
You know
this isn't coming from me.
1105
01:00:57,721 --> 01:00:59,823
I'm just not trying
to get shut down
by the fire department.
1106
01:00:59,925 --> 01:01:01,525
- I tried, dawg.
- Sir?
1107
01:01:01,628 --> 01:01:04,061
- Not happening.
- You don't get it.
I need to get into that club.
1108
01:01:04,163 --> 01:01:05,703
Yeah, and I need
a French tugboat...
1109
01:01:05,805 --> 01:01:07,237
What the hell is it
with you people and tugboats?
1110
01:01:07,339 --> 01:01:08,638
Oh, you people is it?
1111
01:01:08,740 --> 01:01:10,772
- No, don't do that.
- [EVELYN CLEARS THROAT]
1112
01:01:10,875 --> 01:01:12,602
You tell him why
you're really going in there.
1113
01:01:12,704 --> 01:01:15,337
- And I want you
to speak from the heart.
- Speak from your heart.
1114
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:18,046
- I just said that, baby.
- Right. Sorry, go ahead.
1115
01:01:18,148 --> 01:01:20,916
I accidentally stole
a very large sum
of crypto from someone
1116
01:01:21,018 --> 01:01:23,249
and I need to return it
before the next hashing cycle.
1117
01:01:23,351 --> 01:01:26,653
No. I want you to tell him
why you're really here, Roddy.
1118
01:01:26,755 --> 01:01:28,824
Really, really here, Roddy.
1119
01:01:28,926 --> 01:01:31,589
- Oh, baby, again.
- Yeah, okay. Shh. You do it.
1120
01:01:31,691 --> 01:01:33,490
The truth is,
1121
01:01:33,592 --> 01:01:36,461
I messed things up big-time
with the girl of my dreams.
1122
01:01:36,564 --> 01:01:39,434
And I know she's in there
right now
and if I don't get to her,
1123
01:01:39,536 --> 01:01:40,970
I could lose her forever.
1124
01:01:41,072 --> 01:01:44,473
Wow. You really mean that?
You're doing this for true love?
1125
01:01:44,575 --> 01:01:46,403
Yes, this is all for true love.
1126
01:01:46,505 --> 01:01:49,478
You know, I told myself
this morning when I woke up
1127
01:01:49,580 --> 01:01:51,946
do not let any more dudes in,
1128
01:01:52,048 --> 01:01:54,550
but you have tugged
at the heartstrings, bro.
1129
01:01:54,652 --> 01:01:56,683
Rules are made
to be broken, huh?
1130
01:01:56,785 --> 01:01:58,585
Especially, in the name of love.
1131
01:01:58,687 --> 01:02:00,483
I love a good love story.
1132
01:02:00,618 --> 01:02:03,654
- I've seen
Bridget Jones's Diary twice.
- Uh-huh.
1133
01:02:03,756 --> 01:02:08,029
Cool. [CLEARS THROAT]
So, I'm just gonna
head in there real quick.
1134
01:02:09,660 --> 01:02:12,263
- Are you two also in love?
- No, we're having an affair.
1135
01:02:12,365 --> 01:02:15,234
- Yeah. Just started.
- Close enough. Get in there!
1136
01:02:16,574 --> 01:02:19,142
[SHOUTING] Kimberly! Kimberly!
1137
01:02:19,244 --> 01:02:21,405
I'm running out of time
here, man. I need you
to activate that keygen.
1138
01:02:21,507 --> 01:02:23,543
- MEGLADON: Yeah, I'm on it.
- Okay, great. Now what?
1139
01:02:23,645 --> 01:02:25,679
- Um, you know
how to use it right?
- Of course I know how to use it.
1140
01:02:25,781 --> 01:02:27,879
Just give me a quick refresher.
1141
01:02:27,981 --> 01:02:30,451
So, uh, where did you grow up?
1142
01:02:30,553 --> 01:02:31,852
Let's not, Kimberly.
1143
01:02:31,954 --> 01:02:33,684
You and I both know
why we're here
1144
01:02:33,786 --> 01:02:37,893
and getting
our emotions involved
would just complicate things.
1145
01:02:37,995 --> 01:02:41,524
Uh, Kalvin, I don't wanna
give you the wrong idea.
1146
01:02:42,399 --> 01:02:43,563
So, don't.
1147
01:02:43,665 --> 01:02:45,935
[SOFTLY] Subscribe.
1148
01:02:46,037 --> 01:02:50,435
Uh, I really should go
make sure my friend is okay.
1149
01:02:50,537 --> 01:02:53,036
I really don't think
that's such a good idea
in your state.
1150
01:02:53,138 --> 01:02:54,537
KIMBERLY: What's happening?
1151
01:02:55,846 --> 01:02:57,815
Did you put something
in my drink?
1152
01:02:57,917 --> 01:03:01,581
Don't worry. I'm gonna take
really good care of you.
1153
01:03:01,683 --> 01:03:03,084
[ENERGY PULSATING]
1154
01:03:08,488 --> 01:03:11,761
And that should only be used
in a worst-case scenario.
1155
01:03:11,864 --> 01:03:13,560
All I'm saying is you need to be
really careful.
1156
01:03:13,662 --> 01:03:16,062
RODDY: Okay, yeah, I get it.
If I die in VR,
I die in real life.
1157
01:03:16,164 --> 01:03:18,000
What? No, that's not at all
how it works.
1158
01:03:18,102 --> 01:03:20,336
You need to be careful
because you committed a felony.
1159
01:03:20,438 --> 01:03:22,471
There's a million
private rooms here.
How am I supposed to find them?
1160
01:03:22,573 --> 01:03:25,507
Well, if it's Kalvin Kluck,
he's probably in the most
heavily secured room.
1161
01:03:25,609 --> 01:03:26,943
Um, sort by encryption.
1162
01:03:28,246 --> 01:03:29,712
[BEEPS]
1163
01:03:29,814 --> 01:03:33,244
Final chance. You bring
golden boy back,
1164
01:03:33,346 --> 01:03:37,013
- we forget this ever happen.
- Not happening.
1165
01:03:37,115 --> 01:03:40,220
Are you absolutely sure?
1166
01:03:43,756 --> 01:03:46,561
- Who the hell are you?
- I'm so sorry.
I'm in the wrong room.
1167
01:03:46,663 --> 01:03:48,464
Hey, kid. Grab that vial!
1168
01:03:48,566 --> 01:03:50,098
- Why?
- Just trust me!
1169
01:03:51,798 --> 01:03:53,629
[GUN FIRING]
1170
01:03:56,675 --> 01:03:59,704
- Stop shooting! Barry!
- Dad, no!
1171
01:03:59,806 --> 01:04:01,505
[GUNS FIRING]
1172
01:04:03,579 --> 01:04:05,179
[BODY THUDS]
1173
01:04:07,683 --> 01:04:09,752
What have you done?
1174
01:04:09,888 --> 01:04:11,821
Jesus, Roddy,
that's a Winners virus!
1175
01:04:11,957 --> 01:04:13,719
You need to get that thing
out of here now!
1176
01:04:13,855 --> 01:04:15,820
If that activates in the wild,
it could take out
the entire internet.
1177
01:04:15,956 --> 01:04:18,726
- Millions could die.
- Shit! Okay, I need you
to activate my keygen arsenal.
1178
01:04:18,862 --> 01:04:21,327
- [GUN FIRING]
- MEGLADON: Yeah.
1179
01:04:26,298 --> 01:04:28,402
I'm gonna
smash that like button.
1180
01:04:28,505 --> 01:04:31,268
- No! [STRAINING]
- Sweetheart, you've got to
stop struggling so much.
1181
01:04:31,370 --> 01:04:32,874
- [ALL CHEERING]
- [KIMBERLY GROANING]
1182
01:04:32,976 --> 01:04:34,643
It's making it really hard
for daddy.
1183
01:04:34,745 --> 01:04:36,914
KIMBERLY: No, please get off me!
1184
01:04:37,815 --> 01:04:39,246
- Help!
- What the hell was that?
1185
01:04:39,382 --> 01:04:41,218
MEGLADON: Moment of truth, man.
The reverse-algo is hot,
1186
01:04:41,353 --> 01:04:43,583
but if that
clutch doesn't touch
his avatar in seven seconds,
1187
01:04:43,718 --> 01:04:46,387
your Crypto Klepto
will be encoded
into the blockchain forever.
1188
01:04:46,522 --> 01:04:49,823
- I'm not gonna make it.
- What's it gonna be?
Time to decide.
1189
01:04:49,925 --> 01:04:51,921
- KIMBERLY: Help!
- [GRUNTS]
1190
01:04:52,023 --> 01:04:53,994
[RODDY GRUNTS]
1191
01:04:54,096 --> 01:04:56,563
Consider yourself... unsubscribed.
1192
01:04:56,665 --> 01:04:58,364
Wait, my crypto!
1193
01:05:00,698 --> 01:05:02,970
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Roddy Danger here
1194
01:05:03,072 --> 01:05:04,868
to rescue
his little pet girlfriend.
1195
01:05:04,970 --> 01:05:07,970
Nobody crypto kleptos
Kalvin Kluck's clutch
and gets away with it.
1196
01:05:08,072 --> 01:05:09,879
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1197
01:05:09,981 --> 01:05:12,311
Game over, Danger.
I'll see you in prison.
1198
01:05:12,413 --> 01:05:14,015
MEGLADON: Roddy,
you need to get out of there.
1199
01:05:14,118 --> 01:05:15,752
Just one minute.
I gotta take care of something.
1200
01:05:15,854 --> 01:05:17,180
What are you
talking about, freak?
1201
01:05:17,282 --> 01:05:19,923
Rematch. You and me. Right now.
1202
01:05:20,025 --> 01:05:22,556
Oh, you want a rematch?
Like, you've got a chance.
1203
01:05:22,658 --> 01:05:25,988
If I win, we wipe the clutch
and you never speak
to Kimberly again.
1204
01:05:26,090 --> 01:05:28,131
And if I win?
1205
01:05:28,233 --> 01:05:31,528
- Then you can turn me in.
- Roddy, no! It's not worth it!
1206
01:05:31,630 --> 01:05:34,598
- Kimberly, I got this.
- You got yourself a deal.
1207
01:05:34,700 --> 01:05:37,002
Yo, Megs, you got access
to the club's screens, right?
1208
01:05:37,104 --> 01:05:38,336
Sweet Joseph Gordon Levitt.
1209
01:05:38,472 --> 01:05:40,276
Do you know
what you're asking me to do?
1210
01:05:40,412 --> 01:05:42,575
That's VR inside VR.
It's like a dream
within a dream, man!
1211
01:05:42,711 --> 01:05:45,548
The club wasn't designed
with that kind of
processing power.
1212
01:05:45,650 --> 01:05:47,017
Can you do it or not?
1213
01:05:47,152 --> 01:05:49,482
I can do it. I'm just...
I'm not sure if I should.
1214
01:05:49,584 --> 01:05:52,648
Come on, man.
We've come this far.
Are you with me or not?
1215
01:05:52,750 --> 01:05:55,487
- I got you, brother.
- All right, let's do this!
1216
01:05:58,063 --> 01:06:00,791
- Stay with me, Dad.
- There's a light up ahead.
1217
01:06:00,893 --> 01:06:02,395
[COUGHS]
1218
01:06:02,962 --> 01:06:04,564
It's flickering.
1219
01:06:04,667 --> 01:06:08,264
Yeah, that's probably
just the halogen light
on the patio. I'm sorry.
1220
01:06:08,366 --> 01:06:10,433
I should've just taken the deal.
1221
01:06:10,535 --> 01:06:12,138
I never meant
for this to happen.
1222
01:06:12,240 --> 01:06:13,840
I just wanted you to be
proud of me.
1223
01:06:13,942 --> 01:06:16,477
I am proud of you, son.
1224
01:06:16,579 --> 01:06:20,083
You did the right thing.
You stood up
for what you believed in.
1225
01:06:20,218 --> 01:06:24,180
You were always Chalamet...
in Call Me by Your Name.
1226
01:06:24,282 --> 01:06:26,650
[GASPS] His breakout roll.
1227
01:06:27,217 --> 01:06:29,188
Papa, don't go!
1228
01:06:29,290 --> 01:06:31,320
I'll always be
watching your feed.
1229
01:06:31,422 --> 01:06:33,195
See you tomorrow for dinner.
1230
01:06:35,366 --> 01:06:37,430
No!
1231
01:06:40,534 --> 01:06:42,771
MAN: The Roddy Danger
and Kalvin Kluck rematch
1232
01:06:42,873 --> 01:06:46,408
is brought to you in part
by People for the Ethical
Treatment of Avatars.
1233
01:06:46,510 --> 01:06:48,874
PETA would like to remind you
that everything that happens
1234
01:06:48,976 --> 01:06:52,449
in the metaverse
has the same emotional
and physical consequences
1235
01:06:52,584 --> 01:06:54,576
as the real world.
1236
01:06:54,678 --> 01:06:58,616
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Three, two, one. Fight!
1237
01:06:59,150 --> 01:07:00,557
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1238
01:07:00,659 --> 01:07:03,291
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1239
01:07:10,531 --> 01:07:12,767
I'm gonna enjoy this a lot more
than I should.
1240
01:07:12,869 --> 01:07:14,002
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
1241
01:07:14,104 --> 01:07:16,766
Chatbot, you're
such a great dancer.
1242
01:07:17,974 --> 01:07:20,006
Even better than my husband.
1243
01:07:20,108 --> 01:07:21,441
Thank you for your feedback.
1244
01:07:21,543 --> 01:07:24,447
Please rate my service
in the online survey below.
1245
01:07:24,549 --> 01:07:26,149
[RODDY GROANS]
1246
01:07:28,820 --> 01:07:30,685
Get your damn hands off my wife!
1247
01:07:30,787 --> 01:07:32,083
Ow! I've been hit!
1248
01:07:32,185 --> 01:07:33,685
Stop! You'll hurt him.
1249
01:07:33,787 --> 01:07:36,519
He can't feel anything.
He's not real.
You can't love him.
1250
01:07:36,621 --> 01:07:39,022
Tell him, Chat.
Tell him you love me.
1251
01:07:39,124 --> 01:07:40,256
[BOTH GRUNTING]
1252
01:07:40,358 --> 01:07:41,928
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1253
01:07:42,030 --> 01:07:43,965
I'm just here to help.
1254
01:07:44,067 --> 01:07:46,596
- Stay down, Danger.
- [COUGHS]
1255
01:07:46,699 --> 01:07:50,569
I can make you feel loved,
cherished, adored.
1256
01:07:51,641 --> 01:07:52,942
[GRUNTS]
1257
01:07:53,044 --> 01:07:55,478
I can make you feel seen
and understood.
1258
01:07:55,580 --> 01:07:56,773
[ALL LAUGHING]
1259
01:07:56,875 --> 01:08:01,179
But sadly, I myself
do not have a sense of honor.
1260
01:08:01,281 --> 01:08:04,352
Nor do I feel love or jealousy.
1261
01:08:06,686 --> 01:08:09,025
- [GUN FIRING]
- I can't feel a cool New England
1262
01:08:09,127 --> 01:08:10,853
autumn breeze
on the back of my neck...
1263
01:08:12,990 --> 01:08:16,166
nor taste the subtleties
of a perfectly aged Chianti...
1264
01:08:16,931 --> 01:08:18,366
[PANTING]
1265
01:08:18,468 --> 01:08:21,263
...or feel the hot shame
of a premature ejaculation.
1266
01:08:21,365 --> 01:08:26,001
It's gonna take a lot more
than that to kill me,
Roddy Danger. [GRUNTS]
1267
01:08:26,103 --> 01:08:29,341
Okay, enough.
This ends right now.
You and me, buddy.
1268
01:08:29,443 --> 01:08:32,147
- [BOTH GRUNTING]
- MAN: Taste his blood.
1269
01:08:32,250 --> 01:08:34,611
You can hit me
if it will make you feel better,
1270
01:08:34,713 --> 01:08:37,112
but I'm not really the problem,
am I, Barry?
1271
01:08:37,215 --> 01:08:38,551
[GRUNTING]
1272
01:08:41,956 --> 01:08:43,226
[KALVIN GASPS]
1273
01:08:44,427 --> 01:08:47,530
Look at your wife, Barry.
Do you really see her?
1274
01:08:47,632 --> 01:08:49,096
Yes, I see her.
1275
01:08:49,198 --> 01:08:51,701
- Then, tell her...
- Tell her what?
1276
01:08:51,803 --> 01:08:54,663
Tell her how you feel.
1277
01:08:54,765 --> 01:08:58,107
Angela, I know
the bases were loaded
1278
01:08:58,210 --> 01:09:00,370
and I wasn't in the dugout
when you needed...
1279
01:09:00,472 --> 01:09:03,706
- In English?
- Okay. Angela...
1280
01:09:03,808 --> 01:09:06,978
I know I don't always
communicate it well,
1281
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:09,852
but I love you,
1282
01:09:09,954 --> 01:09:11,620
and I don't wanna lose you.
1283
01:09:11,722 --> 01:09:15,686
You had my back all along,
but I... I was the one
that shut you out.
1284
01:09:15,788 --> 01:09:20,261
I never bothered to...
I never learned to listen.
1285
01:09:20,363 --> 01:09:24,067
But I wanna give this
a real shot. I do.
1286
01:09:24,169 --> 01:09:25,932
I... I don't know
if we're gonna make it,
1287
01:09:26,034 --> 01:09:28,532
but I want to try.
1288
01:09:28,634 --> 01:09:31,371
Barry, there's no crying
in baseball.
1289
01:09:31,473 --> 01:09:33,870
- Do you really mean it?
- Yeah, I really do.
1290
01:09:33,972 --> 01:09:36,709
Well, then let's give it
a three-point slam dunk shot.
1291
01:09:36,811 --> 01:09:38,979
Yeah, that's not a thing.
You know what, we'll work on it.
1292
01:09:39,081 --> 01:09:40,547
What do we have here?
1293
01:09:40,649 --> 01:09:43,218
- Wait, Kalvin, no.
Don't drink that.
- Why not?
1294
01:09:43,320 --> 01:09:45,388
You plan doing
a little juicing, Danger?
1295
01:09:45,490 --> 01:09:48,183
I never took you for a cheater.
Lemme help you out with that.
1296
01:09:48,285 --> 01:09:51,256
- [HEART BEATING]
- MEGLADON: Roddy,
you need to stop him.
1297
01:09:51,358 --> 01:09:54,155
That's a Winners virus.
If he wins, the virus spreads
to everyone watching.
1298
01:09:54,257 --> 01:09:56,725
With that ruptured lockbox,
it could fry the whole damn
1299
01:09:56,827 --> 01:09:59,432
global transport
control protocol.
1300
01:09:59,568 --> 01:10:01,598
[IN A DISTORTED VOICE]
Subscribe, big guy!
1301
01:10:01,700 --> 01:10:04,708
I can't let you win.
It'll kill us all.
1302
01:10:04,810 --> 01:10:05,734
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
1303
01:10:05,836 --> 01:10:07,804
Barry, what the hell
happened in there?
1304
01:10:07,906 --> 01:10:10,546
You beg me to come
and then you torpedo my deal?
1305
01:10:10,648 --> 01:10:13,145
Listen to me,
those guys were using you
to spread a V-Virus.
1306
01:10:13,247 --> 01:10:17,586
I don't believe you, man!
First you lied about my date
being here and now this.
1307
01:10:17,688 --> 01:10:20,520
I finally have a chance
to play ball again
and you ruined it!
1308
01:10:20,622 --> 01:10:23,260
You don't get it, it's over.
There was a fight.
1309
01:10:23,362 --> 01:10:27,163
They pulled out guns,
they shot my dad. He's gone.
1310
01:10:27,265 --> 01:10:28,990
- Is he okay?
- Is he... No, he's not okay.
1311
01:10:29,092 --> 01:10:32,900
Right. If you die in VR,
you die in the real world.
1312
01:10:33,002 --> 01:10:36,832
What? No. It just he has to
restart his whole computer,
it's a pain.
1313
01:10:36,935 --> 01:10:39,270
I almost made
the biggest mistake of my life,
1314
01:10:39,372 --> 01:10:42,142
but you saved me, Barry.
1315
01:10:42,244 --> 01:10:44,543
Yes, that's what agents do.
1316
01:10:44,645 --> 01:10:46,446
We're the good guys,
everybody knows that.
1317
01:10:46,548 --> 01:10:49,119
I'm gonna get you
the best deal out there.
1318
01:10:49,221 --> 01:10:52,014
I'm with you, man.
You looked out for me.
1319
01:10:52,550 --> 01:10:54,483
I'm with you to the end.
1320
01:10:54,585 --> 01:10:56,793
Now kiss him, you idiot.
1321
01:10:56,895 --> 01:10:58,856
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]
1322
01:11:04,331 --> 01:11:06,132
Hey, I'm really sorry.
1323
01:11:06,234 --> 01:11:07,698
Can we talk about this?
1324
01:11:07,800 --> 01:11:09,598
Sure, what lies
are you gonna feed me now?
1325
01:11:09,700 --> 01:11:12,439
I wasn't trying to lie to you.
1326
01:11:12,541 --> 01:11:16,512
I just... I just wanted
to be seen for me.
1327
01:11:16,614 --> 01:11:19,275
You don't know how difficult
it is not knowing who to trust.
1328
01:11:19,377 --> 01:11:22,814
Thinking everyone
wants to be with you
just because you're famous.
1329
01:11:24,120 --> 01:11:25,751
You're just ordinary.
1330
01:11:26,450 --> 01:11:27,783
Must be nice.
1331
01:11:27,885 --> 01:11:30,085
Maybe we're not so different
after all.
1332
01:11:31,193 --> 01:11:33,495
[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]
1333
01:11:37,863 --> 01:11:40,062
BARRY: Come on,
this place is coming down!
1334
01:11:41,037 --> 01:11:42,734
What in the hell?
1335
01:11:42,836 --> 01:11:45,768
Are you Clarissa Daniels?
And you sandbagged me?
1336
01:11:45,870 --> 01:11:48,037
Oh, Lord! Somebody
please come get this
1337
01:11:48,139 --> 01:11:50,413
gorgeous, white supremacist
bitch out of my face.
1338
01:11:50,515 --> 01:11:54,546
- It was a mud mask!
- Oh, Clarissa explains it all!
1339
01:11:54,648 --> 01:11:56,952
- [EXPLOSION]
- LA MONTE: Hypocrite.
1340
01:11:57,054 --> 01:11:58,883
- I am...
- [CRASHING]
1341
01:12:00,422 --> 01:12:02,623
[INTENSE MUSIC
CONTINUES PLAYING]
1342
01:12:15,136 --> 01:12:16,868
[BOTH SCREAMING]
1343
01:12:27,546 --> 01:12:29,650
End of the line, Danger.
1344
01:12:33,220 --> 01:12:34,853
Any last words?
1345
01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:36,421
Yep.
1346
01:12:36,523 --> 01:12:39,792
Megladon, activate tugboat mode!
1347
01:12:43,234 --> 01:12:46,934
No! Tugboats...
My only weakness!
1348
01:12:47,036 --> 01:12:49,098
[HORN BLARING]
1349
01:12:55,144 --> 01:12:57,414
Come on... Not now.
1350
01:12:58,277 --> 01:13:00,549
[CRYING]
1351
01:13:01,446 --> 01:13:03,985
Oh, my God! No!
1352
01:13:04,087 --> 01:13:06,555
Please. La Monte!
1353
01:13:07,056 --> 01:13:08,458
Somebody help!
1354
01:13:09,620 --> 01:13:12,528
[PANTING] Help. Oh.
1355
01:13:15,065 --> 01:13:16,565
[RETCHES, COUGHS]
1356
01:13:17,562 --> 01:13:19,936
Oh, you're alive!
1357
01:13:20,038 --> 01:13:21,702
I saw the other side.
1358
01:13:23,140 --> 01:13:24,672
This was all my fault.
1359
01:13:25,675 --> 01:13:29,378
[CRYING] I was the one
that got the NBA sick.
1360
01:13:29,481 --> 01:13:33,242
I was the one
that killed Viv's grandmother.
1361
01:13:33,344 --> 01:13:36,118
I was the one that ate
the bat soup
on my trip to China.
1362
01:13:36,220 --> 01:13:38,386
Hey, everybody, Clarissa Daniels
1363
01:13:38,488 --> 01:13:40,388
just saved
La Monte Mar Jones' life!
1364
01:13:40,490 --> 01:13:42,651
Maybe she's not
a racist after all.
1365
01:13:42,753 --> 01:13:45,592
You saved my life? Why?
1366
01:13:45,694 --> 01:13:47,893
What do you mean
why did I save your life?
1367
01:13:48,560 --> 01:13:50,429
All lives matter.
1368
01:13:50,531 --> 01:13:51,563
- [ALL BOOING]
- Nevermind!
1369
01:13:51,665 --> 01:13:54,801
What? Are you kidding me
right now?
1370
01:13:55,567 --> 01:13:57,540
I just can't win.
1371
01:13:58,675 --> 01:14:01,176
Kimberly, I wish I can
get this thing to work
1372
01:14:01,278 --> 01:14:03,040
so you could hear me right now.
1373
01:14:04,415 --> 01:14:06,175
But if you're
out there somewhere...
1374
01:14:07,682 --> 01:14:09,143
I want you to know
that after tonight,
1375
01:14:09,246 --> 01:14:11,950
I'm willing to sacrifice
anything to be with you.
1376
01:14:13,790 --> 01:14:16,854
[CRYING] I just want one chance
to tell you I'm sorry.
1377
01:14:16,956 --> 01:14:19,960
I've screwed it up so much,
I'm so stupid.
1378
01:14:20,063 --> 01:14:20,923
[SNIFFLES]
1379
01:14:21,025 --> 01:14:24,566
You needed a man
and I was not a man.
1380
01:14:24,668 --> 01:14:27,829
But I swear to God
if you give me one more chance,
1381
01:14:27,931 --> 01:14:29,672
I will spend the rest of my life
1382
01:14:29,774 --> 01:14:32,641
proving you that I can be
the person you want me to be.
1383
01:14:33,809 --> 01:14:35,974
'Cause you're the only person
I wanna be with.
1384
01:14:38,578 --> 01:14:39,846
[CHEERFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1385
01:14:41,614 --> 01:14:42,882
Oh, shit, was that...
1386
01:14:43,415 --> 01:14:44,719
Sorry.
1387
01:14:45,387 --> 01:14:46,622
[RODDY CLEARS THROAT]
1388
01:14:49,088 --> 01:14:51,493
- I heard what you said.
- Wait, how? I couldn't get
1389
01:14:51,595 --> 01:14:53,858
- the volume to turn on.
- Roddy, I live here.
1390
01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:56,126
So, yeah, I...
Yeah, I heard everything.
1391
01:14:56,228 --> 01:14:58,801
Wait, everything? Like,
you heard the part about...
1392
01:14:58,904 --> 01:15:00,535
Uh, yeah.
1393
01:15:00,637 --> 01:15:03,232
- Uh, by the way,
who is Megatron?
- Megladon.
1394
01:15:03,334 --> 01:15:05,199
- It doesn't matter.
All that matters...
- Huh?
1395
01:15:05,302 --> 01:15:07,874
...is that I love you
and I can't lose you.
1396
01:15:09,447 --> 01:15:12,580
Roddy, how am I supposed
to trust you?
1397
01:15:12,682 --> 01:15:15,013
You left me
when I needed you the most.
1398
01:15:21,588 --> 01:15:23,151
Wait, what are you doing?
1399
01:15:23,254 --> 01:15:25,787
Something that I should've done
a long time ago.
1400
01:15:25,889 --> 01:15:28,195
Kimberly Annabelle Martin,
1401
01:15:28,297 --> 01:15:30,232
will you marry me?
1402
01:15:30,334 --> 01:15:32,998
If you wanted me to marry you
so badly, why didn't you just
come in the other room?
1403
01:15:33,100 --> 01:15:37,604
Uh, no. I'm, like, a weird,
coward and I just, like,
1404
01:15:37,706 --> 01:15:39,775
hide behind my screen
all the time.
1405
01:15:39,877 --> 01:15:42,545
And I'm afraid of confrontation.
Honestly, I don't even think
1406
01:15:42,647 --> 01:15:44,712
I know how to deal with life
in the real world.
1407
01:15:44,814 --> 01:15:47,777
But I finally realized that
life doesn't happen
1408
01:15:47,879 --> 01:15:49,817
at a Zoom comic book convention,
1409
01:15:49,919 --> 01:15:53,115
or even in a virtual reality
first-player shooter game.
1410
01:15:53,217 --> 01:15:55,524
Life happens right here
right now, right?
1411
01:15:55,626 --> 01:15:57,788
And what is the real world?
I don't know.
1412
01:15:57,890 --> 01:15:59,322
I just know that
this is the moment
1413
01:15:59,424 --> 01:16:02,995
that life happens and I want
my life to happen with you.
1414
01:16:12,543 --> 01:16:15,106
You had me
at "activate tugboat mode."
1415
01:16:16,648 --> 01:16:19,242
Wait, so does that mean...
Does that mean...
1416
01:16:20,683 --> 01:16:23,417
Yeah. Yes. [LAUGHING]
Yes, yes, yes.
1417
01:16:23,519 --> 01:16:25,182
- I'll put it on now?
- Yes.
1418
01:16:27,186 --> 01:16:29,885
- [GASPS] Oh, my God.
- It looks so good on you.
1419
01:16:29,988 --> 01:16:31,353
- You look so beautiful.
- [SIGHS]
1420
01:16:31,488 --> 01:16:34,389
MAN: Now kiss her, you idiot.
WOMAN: Kiss her already.
1421
01:16:45,635 --> 01:16:48,439
Wait. Holy... I just realized
I didn't actually beat Kalvin.
1422
01:16:48,541 --> 01:16:51,877
The game just started blowing up
and I think
the virus is spreading.
1423
01:16:51,979 --> 01:16:53,576
- What? Oh, my God!
- We should probably...
1424
01:16:53,678 --> 01:16:55,047
Yeah, holy shit!
1425
01:16:58,148 --> 01:17:00,155
Oh, this is bad.
This is very bad.
1426
01:17:00,257 --> 01:17:01,422
- What?
- [BEEPS]
1427
01:17:01,524 --> 01:17:04,921
What? I... I can't believe it.
1428
01:17:05,023 --> 01:17:07,763
It's gone.
It's... It's all gone.
1429
01:17:07,865 --> 01:17:10,461
It turns out that true love
was the cure all along.
1430
01:17:10,563 --> 01:17:11,560
- Aw.
- Really?
1431
01:17:11,696 --> 01:17:13,265
No, idiot.
1432
01:17:13,367 --> 01:17:16,334
But frying the entire
host system
apparently also kills it.
1433
01:17:16,436 --> 01:17:17,638
Okay.
1434
01:17:17,740 --> 01:17:19,808
BARRY: Hey, kid,
put on your headset.
1435
01:17:24,745 --> 01:17:27,013
[CAPTIVATING MUSIC PLAYING]
1436
01:17:29,183 --> 01:17:31,752
Hey, I saw what you did
back there and I never do this,
1437
01:17:31,855 --> 01:17:34,251
but how would you feel
about representation?
1438
01:17:34,353 --> 01:17:37,985
Represent... Yeah. Yeah,
I'm all for representation.
1439
01:17:38,087 --> 01:17:39,354
It's a new world out here.
1440
01:17:39,456 --> 01:17:40,992
You know I didn't
actually win though, right?
1441
01:17:41,094 --> 01:17:42,457
Like, the game blew up
before I could...
1442
01:17:42,559 --> 01:17:45,531
You've got heart, kid,
and that beats winning any day.
1443
01:17:45,633 --> 01:17:47,300
- Really?
- No, not really.
1444
01:17:47,402 --> 01:17:50,236
- But I'm offering you a deal,
so just take it.
- You know, what? Uh...
1445
01:17:50,338 --> 01:17:53,204
I appreciate the offer,
but I think I need
to spend some time
1446
01:17:53,306 --> 01:17:56,372
in the real world,
with the people
that matter most.
1447
01:17:56,940 --> 01:17:58,141
He'll take the deal.
1448
01:17:58,243 --> 01:18:00,511
Get your hands off me!
Get... Get... Argh!
1449
01:18:00,646 --> 01:18:03,552
- What happened to him?
- MEGLADON: I caught
what Kluck tried to do
1450
01:18:03,688 --> 01:18:05,018
with your girl
on the security footage
1451
01:18:05,153 --> 01:18:06,588
and routed it to the central
security algorithm.
1452
01:18:06,690 --> 01:18:08,153
He's goin'
on a little vacation.
1453
01:18:08,289 --> 01:18:10,655
Three to five, for aggravated
virtual sexual assault.
1454
01:18:10,757 --> 01:18:12,623
This isn't over, Danger.
1455
01:18:12,725 --> 01:18:14,362
I'm coming for you!
1456
01:18:14,464 --> 01:18:16,632
Ah, shut the Kluck up!
1457
01:18:16,734 --> 01:18:18,260
I don't know
how to repay you, Megladon.
1458
01:18:18,363 --> 01:18:21,065
Wait, what about
the Kitcoin and the blockchain?
1459
01:18:21,200 --> 01:18:22,972
- Don't worry about it.
- What do you mean?
1460
01:18:23,074 --> 01:18:25,537
Kalvin got his clutch back,
but it was
after the hashing cycle.
1461
01:18:25,639 --> 01:18:29,306
All he has to do is report it
and they can contact trace it
back to me.
1462
01:18:29,408 --> 01:18:31,914
I'm telling you, all right?
Just... Just trust me.
1463
01:18:32,016 --> 01:18:34,482
Don't worry about the money.
It will never get back to you.
1464
01:18:34,584 --> 01:18:37,017
Megladon, what did you do?
1465
01:18:38,381 --> 01:18:41,186
[SIGHS] The less you know
the better.
1466
01:19:03,040 --> 01:19:04,339
MAN: My club. Look at it.
1467
01:19:04,442 --> 01:19:07,510
I'm never gonna
financially recover from this.
1468
01:19:07,612 --> 01:19:11,653
Do you have any idea
how much business
this place does?
1469
01:19:11,755 --> 01:19:13,452
I'm gonna have to do
a hard reboot.
1470
01:19:13,554 --> 01:19:18,086
I could be offline
for two and a half hours
on a Friday night no less.
1471
01:19:18,188 --> 01:19:20,395
This is gonna cost me millions.
1472
01:19:20,497 --> 01:19:22,392
Who's gonna pay for this?
1473
01:19:24,697 --> 01:19:27,995
MEGLADON: I think
you might have one last spin
on that keygen.
1474
01:19:28,131 --> 01:19:29,465
You know what to do.
1475
01:19:42,948 --> 01:19:46,152
[DELIGHTFUL MUSIC PLAYING]
1476
01:20:09,012 --> 01:20:11,408
Oh, I think there's only
one thing left to do.
1477
01:20:16,012 --> 01:20:17,584
Let's dance!
1478
01:20:17,686 --> 01:20:19,955
[DISCO MUSIC PLAYING]
1479
01:20:21,619 --> 01:20:24,957
RODDY: And so, peace
was restored to the metaverse.
1480
01:20:25,059 --> 01:20:26,420
I won back the girl
of my dreams
1481
01:20:26,522 --> 01:20:28,495
and broke my losing streak,
kind of.
1482
01:20:28,630 --> 01:20:32,063
I think things happened
to the other characters, too.
It was great.
1483
01:20:32,199 --> 01:20:35,370
[SIGHING] Yeah,
life moves pretty fast.
1484
01:20:35,506 --> 01:20:38,974
If you don't take your
headset off and look around
once in a while...
1485
01:20:39,707 --> 01:20:41,106
you'd miss it.
1486
01:20:41,241 --> 01:20:43,412
♪ 'Cause you're gonna be
Runnin' away
1487
01:20:43,547 --> 01:20:45,480
♪ Inside the space
1488
01:20:45,615 --> 01:20:47,208
♪ I'm on right away
1489
01:20:47,344 --> 01:20:50,049
♪ Hey, I love you virtually
1490
01:20:50,184 --> 01:20:53,247
♪ Night and day
And I was here to play
1491
01:20:53,383 --> 01:20:55,317
♪ I don't care what it takes
1492
01:20:55,419 --> 01:20:58,620
♪ Love, I love you virtually ♪
1493
01:21:06,663 --> 01:21:09,431
Breaking news. In a stunning
reversal of fortune,
1494
01:21:09,533 --> 01:21:12,035
recently disgraced gamer,
Roddy Danger,
1495
01:21:12,137 --> 01:21:13,770
has apparently saved the world.
1496
01:21:13,872 --> 01:21:18,110
And won back the heart
of his non-gamer girlfriend,
Kimberly Martin.
1497
01:21:18,213 --> 01:21:21,411
Meanwhile, cyber cult leader,
Kalvin Kluck,
1498
01:21:21,513 --> 01:21:24,414
has been arrested for operating
a pyramid scheme.
1499
01:21:24,516 --> 01:21:26,955
And is being investigated
for cyber terrorism,
1500
01:21:27,057 --> 01:21:29,583
for his attempted release
of the Winners virus.
1501
01:21:29,686 --> 01:21:32,687
[GRUNTS] I'll get you, Roddy.
I'll get you!
1502
01:21:32,789 --> 01:21:36,824
And on a personal note,
I never fucking liked that guy.
1503
01:21:36,926 --> 01:21:40,198
Uh, I need five minutes.
I'm just wasting
everyone's time now.
1504
01:21:40,301 --> 01:21:42,437
- [BELL RINGING]
- [CREW SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
1505
01:21:42,539 --> 01:21:43,736
[CREW APPLAUDING]
1506
01:21:43,838 --> 01:21:45,370
Good show, everybody.
1507
01:21:48,543 --> 01:21:52,448
I honestly just don't know
how I'm ever gonna
trust him again.
1508
01:21:52,550 --> 01:21:53,775
And I feel the same way.
1509
01:21:53,877 --> 01:21:57,217
After the trust his gone,
what are we supposed to do next?
1510
01:21:58,621 --> 01:22:00,220
That being said...
1511
01:22:00,322 --> 01:22:02,552
I have to admit the whole thing
was kind of exciting.
1512
01:22:03,594 --> 01:22:05,655
All the sneaking around...
1513
01:22:05,757 --> 01:22:09,227
kind of reminded me
of back when you were
my professor.
1514
01:22:09,329 --> 01:22:12,430
- She was my student.
- That's implied, Devine.
1515
01:22:13,231 --> 01:22:15,266
Uh, she was a very bad student.
1516
01:22:15,369 --> 01:22:17,634
Uh, she had a safe word
"chicken in the pot."
1517
01:22:17,736 --> 01:22:20,174
It was "jerk chicken," honey.
We've moved on from that.
1518
01:22:20,276 --> 01:22:22,872
Oh. We've moved on from that.
We've changed that now.
1519
01:22:22,974 --> 01:22:24,809
CHATBOT: Hmm.
1520
01:22:24,911 --> 01:22:27,480
Well, you know, the secret
to a good relationship
is communication
1521
01:22:27,615 --> 01:22:30,986
and the ability
to fully express yourself
with integrity.
1522
01:22:31,088 --> 01:22:33,288
I'm glad you are finding
new ways to connect.
1523
01:22:33,424 --> 01:22:37,059
Speaking of which,
have you ever heard
of a French tugboat?
1524
01:22:39,590 --> 01:22:41,628
Uh, isn't that
the ultimate gaming weapon?
1525
01:22:41,730 --> 01:22:44,395
- That... I think it was
the ultimate gaming weapon.
- I just said that.
1526
01:22:44,497 --> 01:22:47,729
What? No. It's a threesome...
with an AI.