1 00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:08,300 [seagull cawing] 2 00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:10,589 [string music builds] 3 00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,345 [groans] 4 00:00:19,144 --> 00:00:20,064 Ar… 5 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:25,074 Me spicy pirate booty map… 6 00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:26,938 I must bury it. 7 00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,107 It would not be found unto a future 8 00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:34,155 when cars don't drive on the ground but they fly, fly high in the sky. 9 00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,747 [stirring music builds] 10 00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:46,127 ♪ Pirate, pirate ♪ 11 00:00:46,629 --> 00:00:49,089 ♪ Hiding a map with a pirate ♪ 12 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:51,594 ♪ Look at her go, a pirate ♪ 13 00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:54,136 ♪ Played by Sarah Burns, a pirate ♪ 14 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,100 ♪ Pirate ♪ 15 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:00,976 [coughs] 16 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:04,111 Ar… Perfect. 17 00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,189 The perfect place for me to put me map. 18 00:01:08,151 --> 00:01:12,321 Now, just to find a place to rest me weary bones. 19 00:01:14,866 --> 00:01:16,196 [sighs] 20 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:22,456 I'll just sit here for a few sets o' the moon 21 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:27,630 and rest my barnacle covered, rum-filled legs. 22 00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:30,547 [uptempo beat playing] 23 00:01:33,426 --> 00:01:36,506 Oh, poor little Zachy. 24 00:01:36,971 --> 00:01:38,971 ♪ I just woke up and I'm still sleepy ♪ 25 00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,017 ♪ Tired and grumpy like a baby ♪ 26 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,811 ♪ Wah-wah, boo-hoo-hoos ♪ 27 00:01:42,894 --> 00:01:45,024 ♪ Can you give me something For my blues? ♪ 28 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:47,145 ♪ Morning brown, morning brown ♪ 29 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,072 ♪ Get yourself a cup of morning brown ♪ 30 00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,280 ♪ Morning brown, morning frown ♪ 31 00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,401 ♪ What the heck is morning brown? ♪ 32 00:01:53,488 --> 00:01:55,198 ♪ Morning brown is great You get it in a cup ♪ 33 00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:57,411 ♪ Add cream and sugar Then you stir it all up ♪ 34 00:01:57,492 --> 00:01:59,492 ♪ It comes from beans Have it hot or with ice ♪ 35 00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:01,407 ♪ In a day I'd say only drink it thrice ♪ 36 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,286 ♪ Morning brown, I'm still not sure ♪ 37 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,253 ♪ Can you please explain it some more ♪ 38 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:06,503 ♪ It's coffee, you fuck ♪ 39 00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:08,094 -[beat drops] -Oh, right. Yeah. 40 00:02:09,712 --> 00:02:11,422 ♪ Morning brown, morning brown ♪ 41 00:02:11,506 --> 00:02:13,546 ♪ Zach, why do you need morning brown? ♪ 42 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:15,933 ♪ I'm a sleepy boy, try as I might ♪ 43 00:02:16,010 --> 00:02:17,720 ♪ I didn't get much sleep last night ♪ 44 00:02:17,804 --> 00:02:19,894 ♪ I need to drink this morning brown ♪ 45 00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:22,103 ♪ 'Cause last night I was doing a fuck ♪ 46 00:02:22,183 --> 00:02:23,853 ♪ I was fucking all night long ♪ 47 00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:25,895 ♪ I was fucking with my ding-dong ♪ 48 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,939 ♪ I fucked in a bed I fucked in a seat ♪ 49 00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,022 ♪ I fucked like a Labrador in heat ♪ 50 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,778 ♪ Whoa, man That's TMI ♪ 51 00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:34,070 ♪ It's a coincidence though I'll tell you why ♪ 52 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,244 ♪ I, too, was fucking all last night ♪ 53 00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,032 ♪ I fucked real hard 'Til the morning light ♪ 54 00:02:38,116 --> 00:02:40,236 ♪ I love to fuck It's my favorite thing to do ♪ 55 00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:42,406 ♪ I fuck all night like a fuck emu ♪ 56 00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:44,575 ♪ Boys, stop lying, that's not true ♪ 57 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:46,294 ♪ Last night I was with you two ♪ 58 00:02:46,749 --> 00:02:48,419 ♪ We were all a little hungy ♪ 59 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,801 ♪ So we got some food into our tummy ♪ 60 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:52,629 ♪ Steak filet, so good it hurt ♪ 61 00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:54,594 ♪ But we still had room for fucks ♪ 62 00:02:54,674 --> 00:02:56,764 ♪ We fucked here and there But that's not all ♪ 63 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:58,803 ♪ Fucked all night 'Til the break of dawn ♪ 64 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,887 ♪ Fucking is my motherfucking favorite thing to do ♪ 65 00:03:00,972 --> 00:03:02,892 ♪ I prayed to Jesus Then I fucked him too ♪ 66 00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,814 ♪ I fucked real fast Like a fuck jackhammer ♪ 67 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,983 ♪ I fucked like a '90s Internet hacker ♪ 68 00:03:07,061 --> 00:03:08,941 ♪ I fucked real slow It took all night long ♪ 69 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,022 ♪ I fucked tenderly With my big ding-dong ♪ 70 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,977 ♪ I didn't fuck fast or slow last night ♪ 71 00:03:13,067 --> 00:03:15,107 ♪ Like Goldilocks, I fucked just right ♪ 72 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,240 ♪ I like to fuck like this ♪ 73 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,584 ♪ That's cool I guess But I fuck like this ♪ 74 00:03:23,661 --> 00:03:25,541 ♪ Wowee, I fuck like this ♪ 75 00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:27,502 [groans quietly] 76 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,332 ♪ When I fuck, I like to moan ♪ 77 00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:31,667 ♪ I go me-may-moo-more ♪ 78 00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:33,633 ♪ Well, when I fuck, I like to say ♪ 79 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:35,673 ♪ Round 'em up, get on back ♪ 80 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,007 ♪ Well, when I fuck, I like to sing ♪ 81 00:03:38,092 --> 00:03:39,972 [vocalizing] 82 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,853 ♪ Round 'em up, get on back Me-may-moo-more ♪ 83 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,930 ♪ Round 'em up, get on back Me-may-moo-more ♪ 84 00:03:44,015 --> 00:03:46,095 ♪ Morning brown, morning brown ♪ 85 00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:48,234 ♪ Mm yum, morning brown ♪ 86 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,151 They're talking about coffee. 87 00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:51,150 Hey, what's that? 88 00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:57,399 [men] One, two. One, two, Aunty Donna. 89 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,607 [robotic voice] Broden. 90 00:03:58,696 --> 00:04:00,196 Zach. 91 00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:01,621 Mark. 92 00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,577 Aunty Donna. 93 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:10,415 [Broden] I've got the treasure map. 94 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:14,379 I'm gonna read the first clue, and then we can go find the treasure, hey? 95 00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,422 [laughs] Here we go. 96 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:20,385 If it is my treasure you wish to find, use this map and use your mind. 97 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:25,888 For muscle and brawn are wonderful things, but wit is he that makes and breaks kings. 98 00:04:25,974 --> 00:04:28,894 From this map, there's a hidden clue. 99 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:32,767 Solve it and find the riches, the like of Jackman, Hugh. 100 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,815 Wow, that's Wolverine money. I mean, that's so exciting. 101 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,359 What's your fucking problems? 102 00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,907 You treat me like shit! 103 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,948 You can have your fucking Christmas with your nan. 104 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,703 [man] On next week's show, we've got Weird Al Yankovic 105 00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,116 at the special new time of 10:25 p.m. 106 00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,955 -right after the footie. -[buzzer blares] 107 00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:55,666 ♪ I love Mark, I love Mark ♪ 108 00:04:55,753 --> 00:04:58,383 You know what, Zach? Next time, I get to choose the song. 109 00:04:58,464 --> 00:04:59,554 Deal. 110 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,342 ♪ I love Mark ♪ 111 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:02,256 Boy, oh, boy. 112 00:05:02,343 --> 00:05:04,303 I can't wait to find that booty. 113 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,217 What are you boys gonna do with your share, huh? 114 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:11,636 Me, I reckon I'll buys me a sails boat sails that boat all around the world. 115 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:15,058 That's what I'm gonna do when we split the booty three ways. 116 00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:19,650 [Mark] Zachary, noble sir, I posit we split the booty two ways 117 00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:22,816 thus leaving more jewels and riches for ourselves. 118 00:05:22,905 --> 00:05:24,775 Huh, that sounds like so much fun. 119 00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:28,116 I love sailing, too. How about you, my good friend Zach? 120 00:05:28,202 --> 00:05:30,502 Me? I don't really care. 121 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,210 Friendship is the most valuable thing to me. 122 00:05:33,291 --> 00:05:37,051 [Zach] The most valuable thing to me is pirate booty. 123 00:05:37,128 --> 00:05:40,378 Let us leave Broden destitute, like a dog. 124 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:43,045 Say, boys, what do you feel like for lunch? 125 00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:45,014 Maybe some friendship spaghetti? 126 00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:48,354 [Broden] Noble Marcus, perchance we were to keep the treasure for ourselves. 127 00:05:48,431 --> 00:05:50,851 and leave Zach penniless and destitute like a dog. 128 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:55,146 Maybe. I'm more in the mood for friendship burritos. 129 00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:58,359 [Zach] Hey, man. I think you meant to send that last message to Mark. 130 00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:01,071 But I'm keen to dog him if that's what you want to do? 131 00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:04,912 Wow. As long as we can have corn chips of friendship. 132 00:06:05,490 --> 00:06:09,410 [Broden] Oh, yeah. Shit. Sorry, man. Yeah, let's dog Mark. 133 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:13,924 Yes. And some salsa of rapport and guacamole of goodwill. 134 00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:17,168 [Mark] Hey, man. I think you meant to send that text to Zach. 135 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:20,461 But if you guys are in on a secret scheme, then I'm totes down. 136 00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:23,796 Well, let's get started on our Mexican friendship lunch. 137 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,220 [Broden] Hey, guys. Sorry, just thought it would be easier to start 138 00:06:27,303 --> 00:06:30,143 a group chat on this. Yeah, as discussed with both of you, 139 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,433 totes down for a coup on the pirate booty. 140 00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:33,597 Should be exciting. 141 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,404 Yes, lunch shall be grand. 142 00:06:36,479 --> 00:06:37,809 [Mark] Wink. 143 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,404 [Broden] Wink. 144 00:06:39,482 --> 00:06:40,822 [phones chiming] 145 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,240 -Check your phone. -Huh? 146 00:06:42,318 --> 00:06:44,488 -Check your phone. -[Broden] Wink emoji. 147 00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,823 [rock music playing] 148 00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:50,236 [man] Today's Hot Topics segment is brought to you by Eagle Boys. 149 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:52,246 Now with no contact delivery. 150 00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,328 Broden Kelly standing on the street for Aunty Donna, Hollywood Blvd. 151 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,205 I'm here with ja. I wanna know, what do you treasure? 152 00:06:58,292 --> 00:06:59,592 -My family. -Yeah. 153 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:02,209 It's Mark from Aunty Donna here. We've got Jocelyn on the street. 154 00:07:02,296 --> 00:07:04,626 And we're just asking her, what do you treasure? 155 00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,375 -Uh, life. -Yeah. 156 00:07:06,467 --> 00:07:08,047 What is it that you treasure? 157 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:10,258 -My kids. -[Zach] Hm. 158 00:07:10,346 --> 00:07:12,136 -This's been a fantastic day of-- -[man] Zach! 159 00:07:12,223 --> 00:07:15,063 -Zach, hey. What are you doing? -Hey. 160 00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,943 -Vox pops. -Hi, guys. What's… 161 00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,689 -Hi. -What are vox pops? 162 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,271 Hot topics, like the news! 163 00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,226 What are you doing news things for? This is a sketch show. 164 00:07:23,317 --> 00:07:27,277 But this episode is about treasure, mate. So we're asking people what they treasure. 165 00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:29,453 No offence, we've gotta get the show back on the rails. 166 00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,082 -[Mark] Okay. -'Cause it's off the rails. 167 00:07:31,159 --> 00:07:32,079 -[Mark] A little. -Okay? 168 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:33,910 Ed, what is it that you treasure? 169 00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,455 Get in the… 170 00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:38,714 Did you come out of Hollywood Hustler? 171 00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,131 Get in the [bleep] car. 172 00:07:40,209 --> 00:07:41,749 Alright, he's swearing. 173 00:07:41,836 --> 00:07:44,456 [Ed] You guys proud of yourselves? 'Cause you blew it. 174 00:07:44,547 --> 00:07:45,967 Do you think this is what executive-- 175 00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,008 -[sneeze] -God-- 176 00:07:47,091 --> 00:07:48,301 -[Zach] Sorry. -Zach! 177 00:07:48,384 --> 00:07:49,764 -[Zach] Sorry. -Do you think this is 178 00:07:49,844 --> 00:07:50,934 what executive producers do? 179 00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,852 I don't really know… what exactly executive producers do. 180 00:07:53,931 --> 00:07:56,771 [scoffs] Well, the answer is no. Okay? 181 00:07:56,851 --> 00:07:58,771 An executive producer can come to set, 182 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,813 you just smile, you shake hands with people. 183 00:08:00,897 --> 00:08:04,477 You don't rescue a cast that's gone completely AWOL. 184 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,737 We just thought it would be really funny to, like, break our form. 185 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:10,530 What? I can't hear you, Mark! 186 00:08:10,615 --> 00:08:13,235 What Mark's trying to say is we're sorry. Alright? 187 00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,751 -You guys like French fries? -Yeah. 188 00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,254 [woman] Can I go, too? 189 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,836 What are you doing here? 190 00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,174 -I, I, I… -How did you get in here? 191 00:08:28,257 --> 00:08:31,007 -I'm not sure. -Get out! 192 00:08:31,761 --> 00:08:33,221 -Get out! -Um… 193 00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:36,102 -There you go. -[all] Thank you. 194 00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:38,602 -Eat up. -That's so sweet of you. 195 00:08:38,684 --> 00:08:41,734 Do you wanna know what I treasure most in this world? 196 00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:42,942 What? 197 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,734 -You guys. -Really? Us? 198 00:08:46,817 --> 00:08:48,107 -[Ed] Yeah. -No. 199 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:49,994 Yeah, I do. I really… 200 00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:52,156 I mean, I really cherish you guys. 201 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,737 -Thank you. -[Ed] And… 202 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:57,294 I'm sorry that I got upset earlier. 203 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,040 Thanks. Thanks, Ed. That means the world. 204 00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,128 Sorry. Did you say… What are you saying my name is? 205 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:04,209 [Broden] Um… 206 00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,586 -Ed… Helms. -It's Ed. 207 00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,548 Do you guys all think my name is Ed? 208 00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,182 -Yeah. -Yeah, unless… Yeah. 209 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:12,089 Ed? 210 00:09:12,176 --> 00:09:14,176 If your name's not Ed, then what's your name? 211 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,852 Guys, my name is Egg. Egg Helms. 212 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:20,894 -Egg? -Egg? 213 00:09:21,686 --> 00:09:24,106 Yeah. You all thought my name was Ed? 214 00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:25,768 -Yeah. -Yeah, yes. 215 00:09:27,608 --> 00:09:28,778 It's Egg. 216 00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:32,860 Please welcome Egg Helms. [laughs] 217 00:09:33,864 --> 00:09:34,824 I mean… 218 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:38,908 You're credited as Ed on your Internet Movie Database page. 219 00:09:38,995 --> 00:09:41,995 -It doesn't say that. -You go! You go on your IMDb, man. 220 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:43,331 [Mark] I want you to look at it. 221 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,956 Are you accusing me of not knowing my own name? 222 00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,713 -That's just so… -You literally…You literally… 223 00:09:48,796 --> 00:09:50,046 What the… 224 00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:51,420 [bleep] 225 00:09:51,507 --> 00:09:56,677 So, uh, Jason, there's been quite the misunderstanding out there. 226 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,772 My name is Egg! It's Egg! 227 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,979 -Thanks for the burgers-- -You can sit the [bleep] down 228 00:10:02,059 --> 00:10:03,019 is what you're gonna do. 229 00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:06,232 Am I Ed, or am I Egg? I thought I knew I was Egg. 230 00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:08,864 I don't know who I am. 231 00:10:08,941 --> 00:10:10,821 [Mark] We're gonna get you a milkshake. 232 00:10:10,901 --> 00:10:12,901 Get the fuck out of here! 233 00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:18,656 I don't know who I am! 234 00:10:18,743 --> 00:10:22,333 [electronic beat playing] 235 00:10:23,789 --> 00:10:26,789 Booty… Booty… 236 00:10:27,209 --> 00:10:30,339 Booty… Ah! Booty. 237 00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:31,261 [doorbell rings] 238 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,393 Hello, are you Mark? 239 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:40,350 -I'm Mark. -Ah! Mark, hello! My name is Sam 240 00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,521 -and this is Sam. -We are two people called Sam. 241 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,100 -We are both from South Africa, man. -We're from South Africa. 242 00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,396 We're from South Africa. 243 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,439 -Are you the booty hunters? -Yes, Mark! 244 00:10:48,522 --> 00:10:50,232 Of course we are the booty hunters! 245 00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:53,486 -We've got little booty harnesses on. -We've got little harness, Mark. 246 00:10:53,569 --> 00:10:55,779 -We're going to teach you. -We gone to teach you. 247 00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:56,703 Here, Mark. 248 00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:59,161 Mark, let's go teach you how to find booty. 249 00:10:59,950 --> 00:11:03,160 Mark, here is the first lesson of booty hunting, Mark. 250 00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:06,285 -Got to learn the first lesson. -First is the answer to this question. 251 00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,134 -What is booty? -Mark, what is booty? 252 00:11:08,209 --> 00:11:09,669 Mark, what is booty? Tell me, Mark. 253 00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:12,302 -Mark, tell me what is booty. -Just tell me what is booty. 254 00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,760 -I don't know, is it maybe, like-- -This is not a rhetorical question. 255 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,801 There is an answer, and I want to know if you know what the answer is. 256 00:11:18,886 --> 00:11:20,596 Is it, like, pirate gold? 257 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,680 [both Sams laugh] 258 00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:23,974 Mark, silly little boy. 259 00:11:24,058 --> 00:11:26,308 Silly little Mark. How wrong you are, Mark. 260 00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:28,484 -Oh, Mark. How wrong you are. -How wrong you are, Mark. 261 00:11:28,562 --> 00:11:30,402 Mark, how wrong you are, Mark. 262 00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,941 This boy doesn't understand. Let me talk some sense into him. 263 00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:37,065 [Kiwi accent] Mark, I've got a secret. I'm not actually from South Africa. 264 00:11:37,154 --> 00:11:38,994 -What? -I'm from New Zealand. 265 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:42,453 I've just been doing that silly accent for 20 years. 266 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:45,495 God, it's good to be doing my real authentic accent, 267 00:11:45,579 --> 00:11:46,869 not that silly accent. 268 00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,536 You talk sense into the boy, Sam? 269 00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,793 I talked sense into Mark. 270 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,996 I hope he learns before a cheetah gets him. 271 00:11:53,087 --> 00:11:56,377 -Oh! The cheetah will come get you. -Awful. So fast and vicious. 272 00:11:56,465 --> 00:11:59,175 -Mark, have you seen District 9, Mark? -Mark, have you seen District 9? 273 00:11:59,260 --> 00:12:01,140 -District 9? Neill Blomkamp. -Have you seen it? 274 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,350 -It's about prawns, Mark. -Very powerful. Very powerful. 275 00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:07,231 Not the little prawns that are swimming around like a little prawn. 276 00:12:07,351 --> 00:12:08,561 This is a prawn. 277 00:12:08,769 --> 00:12:10,309 [mimicking shooting] 278 00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:13,266 -What does this have to do with booty? -It has everything to do with booty. 279 00:12:13,357 --> 00:12:14,687 What's this have to do with booty? 280 00:12:14,775 --> 00:12:16,855 This guy needs to learn a thing or two about… 281 00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,784 [Scottish accent] Here's the thing, I'm from Scotland, not South Africa. 282 00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:21,574 The other guy thinks I'm from South Africa… 283 00:12:21,657 --> 00:12:24,367 What possibly could they be whispering about? 284 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,832 Please, for the love of crooken dookens, help me. 285 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:30,462 -What do you…? -Well, I told him all about it, Mark. 286 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:32,421 You need to stop talking. We need to find booty. 287 00:12:32,501 --> 00:12:34,921 -Oh, my God! -Booty! 288 00:12:35,004 --> 00:12:36,514 Oh my God! What is it? 289 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:39,679 This, Mark, is the most precious booty one could find. 290 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:42,089 -District 9. -Oh, for fuck's sake. 291 00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:47,478 -It's a Blu-ray DVD of District 9. -We found this buried in your backyard. 292 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:50,228 We're going to let you keep this District 9 DVD, Mark. 293 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,521 But before we go, Mark, 294 00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,154 is there anything that you would like to broach with us, Mark? 295 00:12:54,231 --> 00:12:56,821 Yes, Mark. Is there anything that you want to talk to us about? 296 00:12:57,109 --> 00:12:58,899 Guys, maybe it's time to be honest 297 00:12:58,986 --> 00:13:04,526 with one another and talk about whether you're really South African or not. 298 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,287 I mean, are you? 299 00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:08,448 [both] Of course we're South African, you little shit. 300 00:13:08,537 --> 00:13:09,827 [Sams speaking indistinctly] 301 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,464 South Africa! Come on, let's go. 302 00:13:11,540 --> 00:13:14,420 -Bye, Mark. -Mark, I'm flying home back to Perth now. 303 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:16,132 -Oh, my God. -We can fly. 304 00:13:16,212 --> 00:13:19,472 -Mark, we can fly, by the way. -We learnt it from Sugar Man. 305 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:21,258 [electronic music playing] 306 00:13:23,093 --> 00:13:26,103 -Mark Bonanno, what are you doing? -[all laugh] 307 00:13:26,180 --> 00:13:29,520 Touché. I'm just listing all the places where I think treasure could be. 308 00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,100 Ah, touché. 309 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,645 Oh… touché. 310 00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,188 Touché. I'm just havin' a cup of tea. Havin' a break. 311 00:13:35,272 --> 00:13:37,902 Oh… touché. I love tea. 312 00:13:37,983 --> 00:13:39,323 Ah, touché. 313 00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:41,781 Touché. Very good. 314 00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:44,492 Ah… touché. 315 00:13:44,573 --> 00:13:47,163 Do you even know what touché means?! 316 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:50,830 No. 317 00:13:50,913 --> 00:13:52,333 -Touché. -Touché. 318 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,424 -Touché. -Touché. 319 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:54,419 [phone ringing] 320 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:55,420 Hello? 321 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,801 -[man] Hello. Is this Zachary? -Yes. 322 00:13:57,878 --> 00:13:59,708 [man] How are you today, Zachary? 323 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:05,137 Good. I'm just looking for some treasure, eating some chicken, etc… 324 00:14:05,219 --> 00:14:08,509 [man] Oh, yum, yum, yum, yum. Hey, Zach. Do you have any idea who this is? 325 00:14:08,597 --> 00:14:11,017 Uh, is it Terrence Malick? 326 00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:14,400 [man] No, Zachary. It's not acclaimed film director Terrence Malick. No. 327 00:14:14,979 --> 00:14:16,939 -Zach… -Yeah. 328 00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:19,942 This is Ellen DeGeneres. 329 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,855 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Ellen DeGeneres! 330 00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:26,025 Yes. Now, Zach. We got a letter from your best friend, Mark. 331 00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:27,775 He tells us you're a little bit in debt. 332 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,367 Yeah, 10,000 dollars in debt. 333 00:14:30,452 --> 00:14:33,162 Oh, no. And to top it off, your car's broken down. 334 00:14:33,247 --> 00:14:35,997 Yeah, just to top it all off! 335 00:14:36,083 --> 00:14:37,843 Bloody awful. Well, hey, Zachary… 336 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:38,918 Yeah? 337 00:14:39,753 --> 00:14:40,803 We wanna help you. 338 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,420 Oh! 339 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:44,466 So I want you to go to your front door. 340 00:14:45,134 --> 00:14:46,724 What've you done? 341 00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:50,222 [Ellen] I just want you to bloody go to your front door and open your front door. 342 00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:51,846 What have you done? 343 00:14:51,932 --> 00:14:55,102 [Ellen] I just want you to bloody go to your front door and open your front door. 344 00:14:55,185 --> 00:14:58,725 [Zach] Oh, alright. I'll go see what's outside my front door, 345 00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:01,234 but I don't… Oh my God! 346 00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:05,817 -[Ellen] What is it, Zach? -It's a brand new Toyota Corolla! 347 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:10,365 Yes, a new Toyota Corolla, thanks to the people at Toyota Car City Ringwood. 348 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,161 -[Zach] Oh my God! -Hop inside. See how it feels. 349 00:15:13,245 --> 00:15:15,405 -[Zach] It's so roomy! -You've got a roomy car. 350 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:17,327 Why don't you open the glove compartment for me? 351 00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:18,666 [Zach] Oh my God! 352 00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,841 -What is it, Zach? -[Zach] Oh, my God! 353 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,800 -Zach? -[Zach] It's 10,000 dollars in cash! 354 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,511 [Ellen] 10,000 dollars in cold, hard cash. 355 00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:29,391 Thanks to the people at Doritos. Yummy Doritos. Eat 'em with cheese. 356 00:15:29,470 --> 00:15:31,810 -Is there anyone else in the car? -[Zach] I don't think so, 357 00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,099 but let me… Oh my God! 358 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:36,022 -Who is it, Zach? -It's my long lost father! 359 00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,941 Yes, he's returned from a war. 360 00:15:38,020 --> 00:15:40,110 Oh, how I missed you, father! 361 00:15:40,189 --> 00:15:43,529 -Embrace him, Zachary. -Oh, father, how I missed you! 362 00:15:43,609 --> 00:15:46,699 -Aw, how does it feel? -It feels a little strange. 363 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:49,109 -Why? -There's a small object taped to his back. 364 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:51,618 -What is it? -Oh my God! 365 00:15:51,700 --> 00:15:54,240 That's even better than my long lost father! 366 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:57,368 -What is it, Zach? -It's a brand new Samsung tablet! 367 00:15:57,456 --> 00:15:58,956 Yeah, so what's playing on the screen? 368 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:01,171 It's footage of beautiful Thailand! 369 00:16:01,251 --> 00:16:02,251 -Guess what, Zach? -What? 370 00:16:02,336 --> 00:16:04,836 -You're there right now. -Oh, my God! 371 00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:09,092 -Yes, tell me, what do you see? -It's Elisha Cuthbert from 24. 372 00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,966 She's riding on an elephant. It's fucking majestic! 373 00:16:12,054 --> 00:16:15,064 Yes. Now, has Elisha Cuthbert got anything for you, Zach? 374 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:16,810 -Oh, my God! -What is it, Zach? 375 00:16:16,892 --> 00:16:20,652 She's given me a 20 dollar voucher for Paul Newman's Own salad dressing! 376 00:16:20,729 --> 00:16:21,769 Thanks to the people 377 00:16:21,855 --> 00:16:23,605 at Paul Newman's Own. Now I need you to take that 378 00:16:23,691 --> 00:16:24,781 to a nearby grocery store. 379 00:16:24,858 --> 00:16:27,528 -Okay, I'm here. -Good. Who's working behind the counter? 380 00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,611 -Oh, my God! -Who is it, Zach? 381 00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:31,407 It's Paul Newman! He's back from the dead. 382 00:16:31,490 --> 00:16:32,990 -Yes! -I loved you as the voice 383 00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:33,985 of Doc Hudson in Cars. 384 00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:36,536 -Give Paul Newman the voucher, Zachary. -Alright. 385 00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:39,750 -What's he given you in return? -He's giving me a small velvet bag. 386 00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,252 -Oh! What's inside the bag, Zach? -Ooh, it's sapphires! 387 00:16:42,334 --> 00:16:44,004 No, those are blood diamonds, Zachary. 388 00:16:44,086 --> 00:16:46,206 Now, I need you to take them across the Cambodian border 389 00:16:46,296 --> 00:16:47,716 to the Grand Diamond Casino. 390 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,217 -OK. -Now, to avoid detection at the border, 391 00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:54,140 I need you to hide those blood diamonds deep in the crevices of your asshole. 392 00:16:55,931 --> 00:16:58,231 -Okay, I've done it. -Good boy. Let's get you to the casino. 393 00:16:58,308 --> 00:16:59,978 -Exit through the fire escape. -Oh my God! 394 00:17:00,060 --> 00:17:02,560 -What is it, Zach? -It's a black SUV! 395 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,766 That's not yours. It's transport to the casino. Hop in. 396 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,897 -Okay. -Are you travelling? 397 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,323 -Yes. -Check the rear mirror, Zach. 398 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:10,401 -Is there anyone following you? -Yes, there's a 1974 Mustang. 399 00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:11,777 This is very important, Zachary. 400 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,244 Does the driver of that Mustang have a scar on his left cheek? 401 00:17:14,324 --> 00:17:15,204 -Yes. -Mother of fuck. 402 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:16,374 But it makes him look cool. 403 00:17:16,452 --> 00:17:18,292 Zach, I need you to open the glove box for me. 404 00:17:18,370 --> 00:17:20,210 -Oh my God! -What is it, Zach? 405 00:17:20,289 --> 00:17:21,329 -Oh my God! -Zach? 406 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:26,205 It's a 9 by 19mm Walther P99 German semi-automatic pistol! 407 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:29,625 -Shoot the driver. -But I've never killed a man. 408 00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,425 -Do you trust me? -I'm scared, Ellen! 409 00:17:31,508 --> 00:17:32,798 -Do you trust me? -I trust you, 410 00:17:32,885 --> 00:17:36,055 daytime television personality, Ellen DeGeneres! 411 00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:37,138 Fire. Fire now. 412 00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,682 [screaming, gunshots] 413 00:17:38,766 --> 00:17:40,766 -Zach! Zach! -[tires squealing] 414 00:17:41,810 --> 00:17:44,270 -I've killed him! -Good boy, Zach. Now, stay low. 415 00:17:44,354 --> 00:17:45,904 -He's dead! -Are you at the casino? 416 00:17:45,981 --> 00:17:48,441 -There's blood on my head! -Head to the roulette table. 417 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,815 -I'll never forget his eyes! -Take the blood diamonds. 418 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,243 Place them on 34 red. 419 00:17:52,321 --> 00:17:54,031 -Oh my God! -What is it, Zach? 420 00:17:54,114 --> 00:17:55,534 -I've won! -And what's your prize? 421 00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,906 It's a blue orb of magical energy! 422 00:17:57,993 --> 00:18:00,123 Thanks to the people at Blue Orbs of Magical Energy! 423 00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,374 -Step into it, Zach. -I'm stepping into the orb, Ellen. 424 00:18:02,456 --> 00:18:05,916 -And what do you see? -I see a second Toyota Corolla! 425 00:18:06,001 --> 00:18:08,001 Two Toyota Corollas! Get in that one. 426 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,247 -Oh my God! -What's happening? 427 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,628 -It's flying! -Yes! 428 00:18:10,714 --> 00:18:13,804 The Toyota Corolla is flying through the fucking sky! 429 00:18:13,884 --> 00:18:15,934 Tell me, what do you see among the clouds? 430 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,681 I see a wormhole, a vortex! 431 00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,984 Travel through the wormhole, Zachary! 432 00:18:22,059 --> 00:18:24,559 I'm travelling through the wormhole, Ellen! 433 00:18:24,645 --> 00:18:25,975 And what do you see? 434 00:18:26,063 --> 00:18:28,523 [booming voice] I… see… everything! 435 00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:32,947 -Yes! -I see all corners of the universe. 436 00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:36,278 I see the beginning and the end! 437 00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:40,155 See as my physical form drops away. 438 00:18:40,244 --> 00:18:43,624 And I become no longer mortal, 439 00:18:43,705 --> 00:18:48,035 but what you may call a god! 440 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,747 And what else do you see? 441 00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:52,167 [normal voice] I see a third Toyota Corolla! 442 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:56,586 Three Toyota fucking Corollas! 443 00:18:56,677 --> 00:18:57,927 Three Coroll-- 444 00:18:58,011 --> 00:19:01,601 [uptempo beat playing] 445 00:19:02,099 --> 00:19:04,599 And then, I went into a blue orb of magical energy. 446 00:19:04,685 --> 00:19:06,765 And then, I travelled through time and space. 447 00:19:06,854 --> 00:19:08,524 And that's why I'm blue now. 448 00:19:08,605 --> 00:19:11,685 -Boring. -Very boring. So Zach's a god now though. 449 00:19:11,775 --> 00:19:13,735 If he's a god and he can make anything appear, 450 00:19:13,819 --> 00:19:16,319 I guess we don't really have to search for treasure anymore. 451 00:19:16,405 --> 00:19:17,485 What do we do? 452 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,118 [all gasp] 453 00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:23,696 [laughing] Free time! 454 00:19:23,787 --> 00:19:27,207 [all] Free time! 455 00:19:27,291 --> 00:19:29,961 [Mark] Come on! Free! Yay! 456 00:19:30,043 --> 00:19:32,053 Oh, wow! Free time! 457 00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,089 [all repeating] Free time! 458 00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,593 -[all repeating] Free time! -[Mark] Wee! 459 00:19:36,675 --> 00:19:41,845 [repeating] Free time! 460 00:19:41,930 --> 00:19:42,890 [Mark] Wee! 461 00:19:42,973 --> 00:19:45,813 [all laughing] 462 00:19:45,893 --> 00:19:47,983 -[Mark] Free time! -[Zach] Free time! 463 00:19:48,061 --> 00:19:49,311 Yes! 464 00:19:51,565 --> 00:19:54,225 -I love free time! -Hooray for the ball! 465 00:19:54,902 --> 00:19:57,322 [Egg] No! No! No! 466 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,527 No free time! 467 00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:00,615 Okay. Come on, Egg. 468 00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,159 Give me that ball. 469 00:20:02,242 --> 00:20:03,702 Give me the ball! 470 00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:07,412 -Egg… -No playing with a ball! 471 00:20:07,497 --> 00:20:11,167 You've gotta finish this episode! 472 00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:18,177 [all laughing] 473 00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:19,968 [sirens] 474 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:21,682 Oh, no. It's the feds. 475 00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:25,432 Excuse me, sirs. You better have an appropriate ball game permit. 476 00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:27,675 Come on, cops. Why you always gotta try and ruin our fun? 477 00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:29,058 Just come play with us. 478 00:20:29,144 --> 00:20:30,694 Play with you? We can't do that! 479 00:20:30,771 --> 00:20:33,731 We're cops! Haven't you ever seen the show, Cops? 480 00:20:34,274 --> 00:20:36,194 If you haven't, it's basically these cops… 481 00:20:36,276 --> 00:20:39,106 [all laughing] 482 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,026 -Coming in for one. -Copy that. 483 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,744 [gasps] Oh, my God! 484 00:20:45,827 --> 00:20:50,617 [fanfare playing] 485 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,457 [all laughing] 486 00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:57,756 [Mark] Wee! 487 00:20:58,465 --> 00:20:59,545 It's Abe Lincoln. 488 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:04,973 The President being here has changed the tone of this quite dramatically. 489 00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,265 -Broden. -[Broden] Yeah. 490 00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:07,638 Roll with it. 491 00:21:09,726 --> 00:21:11,266 -[glass breaking] -[music, laughter stop] 492 00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,733 -Don't worry. I'll get it. -Okay. 493 00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,477 Oh, my God! 494 00:21:16,566 --> 00:21:17,566 What is it, Zach? 495 00:21:17,651 --> 00:21:19,951 I think I found the pirate's booty. 496 00:21:20,028 --> 00:21:22,608 [all] Whoa! 497 00:21:26,076 --> 00:21:31,206 -[sweeping music playing] -[slow clap] 498 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,380 Congratulations, boys. 499 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:35,338 I didn't think you had it in ye. 500 00:21:35,419 --> 00:21:38,709 But you proved me wrong, just like Hugh Jackman did, 501 00:21:39,381 --> 00:21:42,721 when I realized he was more than just the masculine Wolverine, 502 00:21:42,801 --> 00:21:46,351 but he's a song and dance man when he went on his arena tour. 503 00:21:46,430 --> 00:21:49,520 Congratulations, Aunty Donna. My treasure is ye. 504 00:21:50,434 --> 00:21:54,904 -Oh, wow! -Oh, my God! We're billionaires! 505 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,730 Congratulations! 506 00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:58,145 [all cheering] 507 00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:02,403 Oh, wow. I just wanna say thank you so much to the pirate. 508 00:22:02,487 --> 00:22:06,197 I wanna say thank you to, of course, the Aunty Donna boys. 509 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:09,663 Abraham Lincoln, could not have done it without you. 510 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:13,535 To our wonderful law enforcement officers, thank you. 511 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:18,417 Alright, thanks, guys. Thanks so much. Goodnight, everyone. 512 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:19,423 ♪ Aunty Donna ♪ 513 00:22:19,504 --> 00:22:21,424 ♪ Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun ♪ 514 00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,376 ♪ We hope you're liking season one ♪ 515 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:25,257 ♪ If not, get fucked and leave, you dog ♪ 516 00:22:25,344 --> 00:22:26,934 ♪ Just joking, please keep watching ♪ 517 00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,762 ♪ In this ep, we found a map ♪ 518 00:22:28,847 --> 00:22:30,677 ♪ Egg got mad, saw Sams fly ♪ 519 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:32,556 ♪ Won three new cars Ball games with cops ♪ 520 00:22:32,642 --> 00:22:34,442 ♪ Met Abe Lincoln, 'twas fucked ♪ 521 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:36,444 ♪ 'Twas fucked ♪ 522 00:22:37,522 --> 00:22:38,572 ♪ 'Twas fucked ♪ 523 00:22:39,524 --> 00:22:40,444 ♪ 'Twas fucked ♪ 524 00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:42,435 ♪ Met Abe Lincoln, 'twas fucked ♪ 525 00:22:43,528 --> 00:22:44,358 ♪ 'Twas fucked ♪ 526 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:46,157 ♪ 'Twas fucked ♪ 527 00:22:46,823 --> 00:22:47,703 ♪ 'Twas fucked ♪ 528 00:22:47,783 --> 00:22:49,453 -♪ Met Abe Lincoln ♪ -♪ Aunty Donna ♪ 529 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:53,460 ♪ Watch, watch, watch, watching ♪ 530 00:22:53,914 --> 00:22:57,254 -♪ Watch, watch, watch ♪ -♪ Aunty ♪ 531 00:22:57,626 --> 00:23:01,126 -♪ Watch, watch, watch ♪ -♪ Donna ♪ 532 00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:05,256 -♪ Watch, watch ♪ -♪ Aunty Donna ♪