1 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,916 ‎NETFLIX 原創喜劇影集 2 00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:12,597 ‎天靈靈地靈靈通靈者 3 00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:15,434 ‎晚上好,各位心靈脆弱、悲痛的遺屬 4 00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:19,685 ‎我名叫天靈靈地靈靈 ‎我是一個通靈者 5 00:00:19,769 --> 00:00:22,359 ‎我現在腦海中有一位已逝之人 6 00:00:22,772 --> 00:00:27,112 ‎那位亡者在呼喚 ‎一位名字第一個字是“亞”的人 7 00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,284 ‎有可能是亞倫,不對,是亞當 8 00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:33,117 ‎我很有信心在場的觀眾中有一位亞當 9 00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,289 ‎亞當,我認為亞當就坐在那裡 10 00:00:35,368 --> 00:00:36,238 ‎亞當 11 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,577 ‎亞當 12 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:40,997 ‎亞當 13 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,172 ‎先生,你叫什麼名字? 14 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:43,290 ‎-誰,我嗎? ‎-對 15 00:00:43,376 --> 00:00:44,626 ‎-亞當 ‎-我知道 16 00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:47,711 ‎天靈靈地靈靈 ‎他知道有一位亞當在場 17 00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:50,047 ‎亞當,我們從未見過,對嗎? 18 00:00:50,133 --> 00:00:52,303 ‎-當然 ‎-不好意思,這是個問題 19 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:54,255 ‎-我們以前見過嗎? ‎-隨便你怎樣想 20 00:00:54,345 --> 00:00:57,305 ‎亞當,我們以前見過還是未見過? 21 00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:58,430 ‎-未見過 ‎-好 22 00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:02,060 ‎不要擠眉弄眼 ‎亞當,你最近是否失去了什麼人? 23 00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:05,395 ‎沒錯,我最近在購物中心 ‎丟失了我的孩子 24 00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:07,322 ‎我把他們留在購物中心裡 25 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,650 ‎然後我溜到迪士尼樂園玩了三天 26 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:13,106 ‎我不是這個意思 ‎我是說有人過世嗎?死了嗎? 27 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,318 ‎啊!肯定是我的孩子 28 00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:15,527 ‎亞當,其實是你的祖父 29 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,407 ‎你怎麼知道? 30 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:20,504 ‎天靈靈地靈靈 ‎他知道你死鬼祖父的事 31 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:23,580 ‎我們繼續,亞當 ‎他說你有個問題害你很緊張 32 00:01:23,666 --> 00:01:25,126 ‎-是這樣嗎? ‎-我不知道 33 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:28,760 ‎亞當,他要我轉告你 ‎你要忘掉那個問題 34 00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:31,168 ‎然後開始新生活,知道嗎?因為… 35 00:01:31,257 --> 00:01:32,837 ‎-真奇怪 ‎-為什麼? 36 00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:36,426 ‎害我很緊張的問題 ‎是我的屁眼不停流血 37 00:01:36,888 --> 00:01:39,308 ‎如果他覺得我應忘掉它 ‎開始新生活,我會買個軟木塞 38 00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:41,480 ‎然後我…用它塞住屁眼 39 00:01:41,559 --> 00:01:44,519 ‎天靈靈地靈靈,塞住你的屁眼 40 00:01:45,730 --> 00:01:46,820 ‎不,老兄 41 00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:49,898 ‎天靈靈地靈靈,別塞住你的屁眼 42 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:53,784 ‎亞當,你的祖父 ‎是否參與過第二次世界大戰? 43 00:01:53,863 --> 00:01:56,623 ‎-是的,他打過二戰 ‎-他駐守在法國嗎? 44 00:01:57,408 --> 00:02:00,828 ‎-對,沒錯 ‎-他是第十七營的隊員嗎? 45 00:02:00,912 --> 00:02:02,712 ‎是的,但你怎麼會知道? 46 00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:05,249 ‎在1943年冬天,他殺死了 47 00:02:05,333 --> 00:02:07,003 ‎一名挾持了他整營隊友的狙擊手 48 00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:09,248 ‎天啊 49 00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:12,667 ‎在第二年的夏天 ‎他是否獲頒英勇勳章?一個大獎章? 50 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,297 ‎-你別再說笑了 ‎-亞當,他在跟我說 51 00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:17,095 ‎你今晚帶了那個獎章來 52 00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:19,178 ‎-天啊,天靈靈! ‎-是的,亞當! 53 00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,474 ‎我一定是看錯電郵 54 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:24,688 ‎因為我只帶了像大獎章一樣的豬排 55 00:02:24,769 --> 00:02:26,189 ‎-豬排? ‎-對 56 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,571 ‎我不知道你想要什麼 ‎所以我拿了一堆東西來 57 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:29,648 ‎我還有香腸 58 00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:32,404 ‎-亞當 ‎-我只能問你拿買肉的錢嗎? 59 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,195 ‎你祖父還有最後一個訊息留給你 60 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,410 ‎-我還有百事可樂 ‎-去你的 61 00:02:38,783 --> 00:02:39,993 ‎他怎麼可以這樣? 62 00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,538 ‎(亞當的祖父) 63 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:50,958 ‎可惡 64 00:02:51,045 --> 00:02:52,165 ‎等一下 65 00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,415 ‎那個人,在電視裡的那個人 66 00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,087 ‎他長得跟你一模一樣 67 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,586 ‎那個人也跟你長得很像 68 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:59,097 ‎如果你們認真想一想 69 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:02,639 ‎一條熱狗腸可以變成任何東西 ‎甚至是一把光劍,你們看 70 00:03:03,474 --> 00:03:05,644 ‎-哇 ‎-我可以… 71 00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:06,687 ‎太棒了 72 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,855 ‎我是一艘大型戰艦上的大炮 73 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,652 ‎我是普通的《小姐與流氓》 74 00:03:17,572 --> 00:03:18,452 ‎扎哈! 75 00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,371 ‎我是一個普通的聰明人! 76 00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:28,208 ‎-他媽的! ‎-見鬼! 77 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,000 ‎是職業摔角手女金剛! 78 00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,167 ‎你們哪一個說過可以摔倒我? 79 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:37,719 ‎我們沒有人說過 80 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,510 ‎誰說可以摔倒…沒有人說 81 00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,100 ‎-我接受挑戰! ‎-不好了,怎麼… 82 00:03:43,181 --> 00:03:45,021 ‎-不,我們不想摔角 ‎-其實 83 00:03:45,099 --> 00:03:46,599 ‎不如讓整件事更好玩吧 84 00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:51,768 ‎我挑戰你們三個 ‎看你們在2000年悉尼奧林匹克運動會 85 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,776 ‎能否比我贏得更多獎牌 86 00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:58,567 ‎唐娜阿姨能夠比女金剛 ‎贏得更多奧林匹克獎牌嗎? 87 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,990 ‎-我們接受挑戰 ‎-好 88 00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:07,544 ‎重點來了,如果我們贏了 ‎妳要給我們每人買一棵盆景植物 89 00:04:08,581 --> 00:04:12,381 ‎一言為定,如果我贏了,你們要… 90 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:17,801 ‎在我的… 91 00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:19,219 ‎天啊 92 00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:21,220 ‎我們要侍候妳在床上吃早餐? 93 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,931 ‎好,我們挑戰妳來一場摔角比賽! 94 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,684 ‎-不行! ‎-怎樣?不要! 95 00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:36,364 ‎(本日單詞 - 為2000年 ‎悉尼奧林匹克運動會受訓) 96 00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,031 ‎(布洛登) 97 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,611 ‎(扎哈) 98 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,066 ‎(馬克) 99 00:04:55,253 --> 00:04:56,883 ‎肌肉,快快長出來 100 00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,723 ‎兄弟,我覺得我們會在 ‎那個什麼奧林匹克表現出色 101 00:05:00,842 --> 00:05:02,432 ‎-是誰啊? ‎-去看看吧 102 00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:05,180 ‎-去看看誰找我們 ‎-噢,哇,到底是誰? 103 00:05:05,596 --> 00:05:07,176 ‎我希望是我媽 104 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,940 ‎各位先生,我要找馬克塞繆爾博南諾 105 00:05:11,019 --> 00:05:12,149 ‎和扎哈里魯 106 00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,518 ‎你找他們幹嘛? 107 00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:15,824 ‎我是代表反興奮劑組織 ‎根據我們的規則 108 00:05:15,898 --> 00:05:17,858 ‎我要檢驗他們的尿液有否含違禁藥物 109 00:05:17,942 --> 00:05:20,112 ‎老兄,你為何在我們 ‎備戰奧林匹克時上門? 110 00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,994 ‎這是確認你們是扎哈和馬克嗎? 111 00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,281 ‎你應該提早打電話來 112 00:05:23,781 --> 00:05:25,371 ‎驗尿是突襲抽查,這是故意的 113 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,370 ‎-對,我們在開玩笑 ‎-我們開始好嗎? 114 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,752 ‎老兄,請進 115 00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,080 ‎-請進 ‎-噢,你為什麼要這樣走路? 116 00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,710 ‎給你,嘿! 117 00:05:35,126 --> 00:05:36,126 ‎別喝啊 118 00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:37,380 ‎我當然不會喝 119 00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,712 ‎真的嗎? ‎你不會喝驗尿檢測的尿嗎? 120 00:05:39,797 --> 00:05:41,047 ‎絕對不會,這真荒謬 121 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:42,472 ‎對,我們只是在開玩笑 122 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:43,800 ‎-我從沒喝過尿 ‎-我們知道 123 00:05:43,885 --> 00:05:46,045 ‎我一輩子從沒有喝過尿 124 00:05:46,137 --> 00:05:47,887 ‎我的意思不是說你真的會喝尿 125 00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:49,312 ‎-荒唐 ‎-當然 126 00:05:49,390 --> 00:05:50,560 ‎絕對,的確是 127 00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:58,323 ‎-他會喝掉我們的尿 ‎-我不會 128 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,189 ‎這是什麼鬼呀? 129 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:02,821 ‎這是燒杯 130 00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:04,114 ‎這是圖騰酒杯 131 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,867 ‎天啊,你說得對,他會喝掉我們的尿 132 00:06:06,949 --> 00:06:09,409 ‎你打算用圖騰酒杯喝我們的尿 133 00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:11,334 ‎我不會喝,我拿到你們的小便樣本 134 00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:15,084 ‎然後送到獲認可的 ‎合資格反興奮劑化驗所 135 00:06:15,166 --> 00:06:16,746 ‎看到嗎?他把我們的尿混在一起! 136 00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:20,254 ‎-馬克,你見到嗎? ‎-天啊!他要喝我們的尿! 137 00:06:20,338 --> 00:06:22,128 ‎他在調製一杯尿尿雞尾酒 138 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,885 ‎我沒有,我在執行 ‎全球九個反興奮劑機構的規則 139 00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:28,548 ‎取締數之不盡的違禁藥物 140 00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,138 ‎我不會喝尿 141 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:32,143 ‎你會,你打算喝我們的尿 142 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:34,015 ‎嘿!他為什麼在嗅咖啡豆? 143 00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:37,062 ‎他在喝我們的尿前 ‎要先恢復敏銳的鑒賞力 144 00:06:37,146 --> 00:06:39,146 ‎或許他只是覺得渴 ‎你要喝點什麼嗎? 145 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:41,282 ‎比方說是果汁 ‎芬達汽水或保衛爾牛肉汁? 146 00:06:41,359 --> 00:06:43,569 ‎-不用了,謝謝 ‎-所以你不渴? 147 00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:44,493 ‎其實… 148 00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:47,779 ‎我從未曾如此口渴 149 00:06:47,865 --> 00:06:49,695 ‎天啊! 150 00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,834 ‎天啊!他要喝我們的尿! 151 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:53,581 ‎別喝我們的尿,老友! 152 00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:56,043 ‎我是反興奮劑組織的代表 153 00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:57,504 ‎他戴上了圍兜! 154 00:06:57,583 --> 00:06:59,593 ‎上面寫著“我喝尿” 155 00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,999 ‎-別喝我們的尿,老友! ‎-兩位,住口 156 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,802 ‎體壇長久以來一直藏污納垢 157 00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:06,182 ‎充斥著貪污、貪婪與貪慾 158 00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:08,299 ‎在反興奮劑組織 ‎我們的宗旨是“到此為止” 159 00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,095 ‎所以在服禁藥的運動員 160 00:07:10,179 --> 00:07:13,349 ‎通通被抓到、罰款和永久停賽前 ‎我們誓不罷休 161 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,483 ‎這是我們的目標 162 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:20,396 ‎這是我們的使命 ‎在目標達成前,我們不會罷手 163 00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:26,195 ‎-他喝了 ‎-他在喝尿 164 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,279 ‎有一件事情我想知道 165 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,704 ‎你覺得他是因為愛喝尿 166 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,333 ‎所以加入反興奮劑組織 ‎方便他拿到尿嗎? 167 00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:36,412 ‎還是組織有喝尿的文化 168 00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:38,787 ‎日積月累,他也染上這習慣? 169 00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,632 ‎對不起,你是誰? 170 00:07:41,252 --> 00:07:42,132 ‎馬克! 171 00:07:44,464 --> 00:07:45,674 ‎這是我的寶藏 172 00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:47,966 ‎怎麼了,兩位老兄? 173 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,470 ‎噢!嗨,兄弟,對了 174 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:52,892 ‎奧林匹克打來 ‎他們問萬一我們在運動會上死掉 175 00:07:52,972 --> 00:07:54,392 ‎你願不願意捐出器官 176 00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,934 ‎你們知道嗎? 177 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,437 ‎把我的器官捐給老人,捐給小伙子 178 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:00,769 ‎讓我的手臂重拾用處 ‎把它們裝在女孩身上 179 00:08:00,855 --> 00:08:03,475 ‎把我的心臟移植到他體內 ‎我的骨骼放在他們身體裡 180 00:08:03,566 --> 00:08:05,816 ‎不如把我的肝臟移植給她 181 00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,782 ‎但不要把我的器官捐贈給史蒂夫 182 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,033 ‎我不想待在史蒂夫的身體內 183 00:08:11,115 --> 00:08:13,075 ‎好了,你只要回覆 ‎願意或不願意,所以… 184 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:16,039 ‎把我的塞子捐給道格 ‎我的皮膚捐給吉姆 185 00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,250 ‎韌帶和肌腱都通通塞進布蘭登體內 186 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:21,291 ‎但我要重申,絕不能捐給史蒂夫 187 00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:23,625 ‎史蒂夫給我很糟的感覺 188 00:08:23,711 --> 00:08:26,091 ‎我現在不會詳述原因 189 00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,472 ‎我言盡於此 190 00:08:28,549 --> 00:08:29,969 ‎把我放進男孩體內 191 00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,221 ‎把我放進男孩體內 192 00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:35,313 ‎你應該注意你的措辭,布洛登 193 00:08:35,389 --> 00:08:36,269 ‎你這樣說像個孌… 194 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,849 ‎如果你的孩子需要新的膝蓋 195 00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,265 ‎你可以把我的腎臟給他 196 00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,904 ‎史蒂夫是個他媽的縱火狂 ‎這是我說的 197 00:08:43,981 --> 00:08:46,401 ‎我認為他喜歡火,但我沒有證據 198 00:08:46,484 --> 00:08:48,744 ‎他住在山上,那裡常常發生山火 199 00:08:48,819 --> 00:08:51,739 ‎但他的房子總是逃過一劫 ‎我認為是我們 200 00:08:51,822 --> 00:08:53,872 ‎哎呀,你到底在說什麼鬼? 201 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,410 ‎把我的鼻子和腳趾 ‎捐給一個有軟管的男人 202 00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,084 ‎把我的陰莖捐給一個天才 ‎把我的瑕疵給一個聖人 203 00:08:59,163 --> 00:09:01,833 ‎但最重要的是,對,最重要的是 204 00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:05,496 ‎把我的蛋蛋捐給弱勢年輕人 205 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:08,262 ‎你真好心,老兄 206 00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:10,049 ‎你只需要填妥這表格 207 00:09:10,132 --> 00:09:12,302 ‎-表格?去死吧 ‎-對,好吧 208 00:09:20,434 --> 00:09:21,394 ‎哎呀 209 00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,649 ‎我今天的第一個顧客來了 210 00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:30,701 ‎看,流落倫敦街頭的 ‎一個笨頭笨腦的小孤兒 211 00:09:30,778 --> 00:09:32,528 ‎沒錯,我的父母都已經死了 212 00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:36,283 ‎嗨,你想買美味的果子醬嗎? 213 00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:39,537 ‎-噢 ‎-我有草莓果子醬 214 00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:40,580 ‎有覆盆子果子醬 215 00:09:40,663 --> 00:09:41,543 ‎(一瓶3便士) 216 00:09:41,622 --> 00:09:43,872 ‎果醬跟果子醬有什麼分別? 217 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,338 ‎果醬和果子醬是相同的東西 218 00:09:46,877 --> 00:09:51,377 ‎因為你有傻傻的果子醬時 ‎傻傻的果子醬很好玩 219 00:09:51,465 --> 00:09:54,545 ‎-我有覆盆子、草莓和橘子果子醬… ‎-扎哈? 220 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,426 ‎是你嗎? 221 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,940 ‎沒錯,是我 222 00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,647 ‎我不知道你在搞… ‎搞什麼鬼?你在幹嘛? 223 00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,612 ‎我只是想試試做性格喜劇,應該是吧 224 00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,993 ‎我們今天很忙 ‎我們要為參加奧林匹克訓練 225 00:10:14,071 --> 00:10:14,911 ‎對 226 00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,818 ‎我要走了 227 00:10:17,283 --> 00:10:19,663 ‎-你有話跟我說嗎? ‎-沒有,都好好的 228 00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:21,544 ‎-好好的 ‎-他媽的果醬…果子醬…我… 229 00:10:22,496 --> 00:10:24,576 ‎這是籃球黃金時期的 230 00:10:24,665 --> 00:10:26,625 ‎經典籃球賽 231 00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:29,459 ‎今天難以忘懷的經典賽事是… 232 00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:31,507 ‎1907年的決賽 233 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:35,179 ‎籃子與球總決賽的兩支隊伍進場 234 00:10:35,259 --> 00:10:36,839 ‎我們今天既熱切又興奮的觀看 235 00:10:36,927 --> 00:10:40,767 ‎多倫多六孔小笛隊 ‎對決東印度公司隊的球賽 236 00:10:40,848 --> 00:10:43,098 ‎球賽開始,球員四散 237 00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,809 ‎紳士之間的籃子與球比賽 ‎是至高無上的 238 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,106 ‎噢,我們見到提姆林肯瓦特想灌籃 ‎但對手把他當球一樣抱著 239 00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,784 ‎所以他在蜜桃籃子得到一個罰球 240 00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:54,110 ‎我們見到球證 241 00:10:54,195 --> 00:10:56,315 ‎克萊德惠廷斯把蜜桃從籃子倒出來 242 00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:58,485 ‎射罰球的是喬治“巨人”溫特斯 243 00:10:58,574 --> 00:11:00,164 ‎站在超遠的1.3米外 244 00:11:00,743 --> 00:11:02,753 ‎他準備好,球投進了 245 00:11:03,162 --> 00:11:06,582 ‎多倫多六孔小笛隊得到27分 ‎他們超級興奮 246 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,801 ‎噢,威利溫特斯搞砸了投球 247 00:11:10,878 --> 00:11:12,838 ‎肯尼斯傑里邦德跟他吵起來 248 00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,762 ‎要跟他說個明白 249 00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:18,721 ‎當然,跟人吵架的懲罰 ‎是要被派赴戰場 250 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:24,266 ‎他們出發了 ‎加入西方戰線的第二營 251 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:28,810 ‎第三節的鐘聲響起 252 00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,650 ‎球員聚在一起,各吃一片橘子 253 00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,822 ‎坐下來享用美味的烤貂肉 254 00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:37,032 ‎伴以蒸球芽甘藍和馬鈴薯泥 255 00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,873 ‎水煮蘿蔔、牛肉肉汁和運動飲料 256 00:11:41,742 --> 00:11:43,792 ‎不過歐文約翰遜剛從戰場回來 257 00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:46,659 ‎他在奔跑 ‎噢,不好了,他患有炮彈休克 258 00:11:46,747 --> 00:11:47,747 ‎他不知道自己在哪裡 259 00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:51,456 ‎隊醫在診治他 ‎沒錯,他患有炮彈休克 260 00:11:52,294 --> 00:11:54,674 ‎但上戰場能醫百病 261 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,804 ‎他出發了 262 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,181 ‎加入東部戰線的輕騎大隊 263 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,215 ‎城鎮公告員進入了球場 264 00:12:01,303 --> 00:12:04,353 ‎城鎮公告員在任何時候 ‎都可以進入球場,暫停球賽 265 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:05,522 ‎宣佈來自遠方的消息 266 00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:08,059 ‎歐洲亂成一團 267 00:12:08,352 --> 00:12:13,522 ‎弗朗茲費迪南德宣佈新的巡迴演出 268 00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:18,067 ‎詳情請瀏覽 ‎livenation.com/franzferdinand 269 00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,704 ‎女王萬歲 270 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:22,986 ‎很好,我看過弗朗茲費迪南德的表演 ‎就在科切… 271 00:12:23,075 --> 00:12:25,695 ‎有個女人進入了球場 ‎她把球偷走,她在奔跑 272 00:12:25,786 --> 00:12:27,326 ‎她乘坐馬車逃走 273 00:12:27,413 --> 00:12:28,463 ‎鐘聲響起 274 00:12:28,539 --> 00:12:31,419 ‎多倫多隊以27比0擊敗東印度隊 275 00:12:31,876 --> 00:12:34,796 ‎敗軍之將要受懲罰 ‎他們要上戰場打仗 276 00:12:35,504 --> 00:12:37,764 ‎勝者為王 277 00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,587 ‎他們獲得前往戰場的慶祝之旅 278 00:12:41,385 --> 00:12:43,925 ‎各位出發了,持刺刀的男兒 279 00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:44,973 ‎德國佬去死! 280 00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,175 ‎(如何打網球 ‎買蜜桃) 281 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:48,555 ‎這鉛球很重,希望我練習時 282 00:12:49,101 --> 00:12:50,231 ‎不會擊中別人 283 00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:51,401 ‎(買蜜桃,大便) 284 00:12:54,565 --> 00:12:57,315 ‎你其實去看普通醫生便可以 ‎布洛登,你知道嗎? 285 00:12:57,401 --> 00:13:00,991 ‎但我被鉛球擊中 ‎所以我來看運動醫學科醫生 286 00:13:01,071 --> 00:13:04,531 ‎在運動醫學界 ‎醫學博士米歇爾布拉西爾醫生 287 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:05,827 ‎廣受歡迎 288 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,750 ‎當你的病人是專業運動員 ‎你要意識到… 289 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,288 ‎(醫學博士米歇爾布拉西爾) 290 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:11,421 ‎…他們的傷勢可能有點與別不同 291 00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:12,499 ‎-嗨,米歇爾 ‎-嗨 292 00:13:12,583 --> 00:13:14,593 ‎-妳好嗎? ‎-我很好,馬克 293 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:17,128 ‎-你覺得怎樣? ‎-我應該感冒了 294 00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,343 ‎我吞嚥時很痛 295 00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,552 ‎我的箭挺癢的,真羞恥 296 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,598 ‎除此以外,我很好 ‎我的活動能力跟平日一樣好 297 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:27,769 ‎-好 ‎-比方說我可以這樣 298 00:13:28,599 --> 00:13:30,729 ‎我把它建成了,但他們沒有來! 299 00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:31,850 ‎好,那是什麼回事? 300 00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,806 ‎奇雲高士拿一派胡言! 301 00:13:33,896 --> 00:13:36,766 ‎我把這片火腿拉傷了 302 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,777 ‎-發生什麼事? ‎-天啊!哎呀! 303 00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,530 ‎我不知道,我在到處逛 304 00:13:41,612 --> 00:13:44,622 ‎然後我遇上一支特效化妝團隊 305 00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:48,078 ‎他們把我帶到他們的旅行拖車 ‎把這東西弄到我的手臂上 306 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:49,500 ‎-小心! ‎-痛嗎? 307 00:13:49,578 --> 00:13:51,708 ‎不,完全不痛,一點也不痛 308 00:13:51,789 --> 00:13:53,249 ‎我以前是照顧兒童 309 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:57,092 ‎跟照顧職業運動員沒有大分別 310 00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,591 ‎-我們不同步 ‎-我們不同步 311 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,672 ‎沒有啊 312 00:14:00,756 --> 00:14:01,916 ‎-我們不同步 ‎-我們不同步 313 00:14:02,007 --> 00:14:04,967 ‎-跳進水裡吧 ‎-跳進水裡吧 314 00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:17,571 ‎你怎樣把自行車騎進來? 315 00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:21,438 ‎妳知道打噴嚏的興奮程度 ‎是高潮的八分之一嗎? 316 00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:24,567 ‎-我不肯定… ‎-我今天打了七次噴嚏 317 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,655 ‎這是什麼?是胡椒粉嗎? 318 00:14:26,740 --> 00:14:28,410 ‎-別嗅它 ‎-高潮要來了 319 00:14:28,492 --> 00:14:29,702 ‎-別射精 ‎-不,高潮要來了 320 00:14:29,785 --> 00:14:30,615 ‎別在辦公室射精! 321 00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,503 ‎-我似乎要在電郵的汪洋中遇溺 ‎-好的 322 00:14:36,041 --> 00:14:37,291 ‎我遇溺了! 323 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,419 ‎天啊! 324 00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,134 ‎天啊!是鯊魚! 325 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:43,875 ‎天啊! 326 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,130 ‎天啊! 327 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:48,177 ‎運動損傷能以 ‎多種不同的方式呈現出來 328 00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:51,642 ‎例如他們常常以爛透性格喜劇的 329 00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:53,644 ‎方式呈現出來 330 00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,731 ‎妳想打槌球嗎? 331 00:15:01,358 --> 00:15:02,938 ‎-球! ‎-好 332 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:05,817 ‎-另一個球 ‎-好 333 00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:08,065 ‎彼得潘在哪? 334 00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,987 ‎老潘在哪? 335 00:15:10,075 --> 00:15:12,615 ‎哈囉,親愛的,我是賈恩 336 00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,253 ‎-我有很多… ‎-扎哈? 337 00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:17,287 ‎對 338 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,463 ‎我只是在嘗試扮一個新角色 339 00:15:19,543 --> 00:15:22,713 ‎我不喜歡我的工作 340 00:15:22,796 --> 00:15:25,716 ‎(一次奧林匹克後) 341 00:15:27,092 --> 00:15:30,012 ‎獎牌很出色,哇,好的 342 00:15:30,429 --> 00:15:32,349 ‎謝謝你們帶來超棒的奧林匹克 343 00:15:32,431 --> 00:15:34,431 ‎我贏得42面金牌和20面銀牌 344 00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:37,556 ‎我贏我30面金牌,應該還有三面銅牌 345 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:41,232 ‎我只贏得銅牌 346 00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,976 ‎我不知道你們是怎樣做到的 347 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:46,105 ‎不過所有訓練都有回報 348 00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:47,775 ‎這是你們的盆景植物! 349 00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:50,663 ‎噢,哇!超級棒! 350 00:15:50,741 --> 00:15:52,581 ‎-盆景植物! ‎-妳遵守諾言呢 351 00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,660 ‎-你們要照顧植物 ‎-我們會的 352 00:15:55,537 --> 00:15:58,867 ‎我現在最好回到我空蕩蕩的大宅 353 00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,247 ‎暫停 354 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,633 ‎嘿,女金剛 355 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,433 ‎妳想在這裡一起吃午餐嗎? 356 00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,354 ‎今天畢竟是聖誕節 357 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:15,019 ‎噢,我樂意至極! 358 00:16:17,059 --> 00:16:18,309 ‎佳節當前 359 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,524 ‎我們的帽子! 360 00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:21,113 ‎噢,哇! 361 00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,358 ‎真美好的節日 362 00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,439 ‎在下雪呢! 363 00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:39,420 ‎祝大家聖誕快樂 ‎祝福來自唐娜阿姨和女金剛 364 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:40,708 ‎還有錢信伊 365 00:16:40,791 --> 00:16:42,751 ‎唐娜阿姨的歡樂老屋 366 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,665 ‎我們希望你們喜歡第一季 367 00:16:44,753 --> 00:16:46,553 ‎如果不喜歡,你他媽的滾,渾蛋 368 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:48,170 ‎只是開玩笑,請繼續觀看 369 00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,087 ‎噢啊… 370 00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:51,965 ‎-這是我們努力訓練的聲音 ‎-什麼? 371 00:16:52,052 --> 00:16:53,642 ‎-我們努力訓練想變超厲害 ‎-對 372 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:56,021 ‎金剛生龍活虎,狠揍我們 373 00:16:56,765 --> 00:16:57,725 ‎噢啊 374 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,017 ‎-噢啊 ‎-什麼? 375 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:01,729 ‎噢啊 376 00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:03,312 ‎這是我們的聲音…噢啊 377 00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:05,396 ‎噢啊 378 00:17:06,233 --> 00:17:07,443 ‎-噢啊 ‎-什麼? 379 00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:08,992 ‎噢啊 380 00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:10,739 ‎-我們努力訓練 ‎-唐娜阿姨 381 00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:14,737 ‎觀看…在觀看 382 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,870 ‎-觀看 ‎-阿姨 383 00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,753 ‎字幕翻譯:李恒聰