1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,916
-[roar of audience]
-[upbeat music playing]

2
00:00:08,425 --> 00:00:12,925
[announcer] We return to The Quiz Show.
And for the final quickfire speedy round,

3
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:16,143
welcome your special host,
it's Pausey Pete!

4
00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,104
Pausey Pete?

5
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:18,353
Okay, let's…

6
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,685
begin.

7
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,282
What is the…

8
00:00:25,358 --> 00:00:28,148
[time ticking]

9
00:00:28,236 --> 00:00:30,446
Hey, Pausey Pete,
do you actually have to pause this much?

10
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:33,160
Well, my name is Pausey Pete,
but you don't have to wait until…

11
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:36,198
-Until you finish the question?
-…I finish the question.

12
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:37,696
I'll jump in, but can you hurry up?

13
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,497
Okay, what is the capital city…

14
00:00:40,331 --> 00:00:42,041
-Hurry up.
-…of the United…

15
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,995
Uh, uh, uh, Washington, D.C.

16
00:00:44,085 --> 00:00:46,755
…Arab Emirates? The answer is,
of course, Abu Dhabi.

17
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:48,968
-[Garry groans]
-How many dalmatians…

18
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:51,679
-Oh my God!
-…were there in One Hundred and…

19
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,680
101!

20
00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:53,681
…Two Dalmatians?

21
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:55,262
-[buzzer]
-Oh, the fucking sequel!

22
00:00:55,346 --> 00:00:57,716
That classic sequel; 102 was the answer.

23
00:00:57,807 --> 00:00:58,727
Damn you, Pausey Pete!

24
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:00,018
-Okay.
-Damn you to hell!

25
00:01:00,101 --> 00:01:02,481
What is the tallest mountain
in the world…

26
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:03,652
Mount Everest.

27
00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:05,270
-…of Middle-earth?
- [Garry] No!

28
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:08,526
Mount Doom's the answer there,
from the Lord of the Rings books.

29
00:01:08,610 --> 00:01:10,610
-Okay, here's an--
-Stop pausing so much!

30
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,945
…easy one.
A fireman drives what kind of vehicle…

31
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:14,872
[gasps]

32
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:16,949
[time ticking]

33
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,004
-A fire truck.
-…to work?

34
00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:28,836
-No!
-The answer is, of course, any vehicle

35
00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,512
except for a fire truck.

36
00:01:30,590 --> 00:01:31,590
Hurry up, please!

37
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:34,224
You are just two points shy
of a billion dollars.

38
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:37,352
There's ten seconds on the clock. Here we…

39
00:01:38,139 --> 00:01:40,389
Say "go," you pausey shithead!

40
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,555
Go! An apple a day keeps the what away?

41
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:44,975
-Doctor!
-Yes, doctor!

42
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,363
Doctor Who is the fastest runner
in the world…

43
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,110
Usain Bolt!

44
00:01:50,110 --> 00:01:51,280
…true or false?

45
00:01:51,361 --> 00:01:53,241
Oh, the answer was false.

46
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:56,031
Doctor Who is not the faster runner
in the world.

47
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,536
-He's a fictional character.
-No, no, no, no, no.

48
00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,578
You said,
"Who is the fastest runner in the world?"

49
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:03,922
No, no, I said, "Doctor Who is the fastest
runner in the world, true or false?

50
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:05,538
No, no, no!

51
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:07,415
You said doctor, and then you paused,

52
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,842
and then you said, "Who is the fastest
runner in the world?"!

53
00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,881
That is literally
the only time I didn't pause!

54
00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:15,636
I hate you, Pausey Pete!

55
00:02:15,718 --> 00:02:17,178
You hate me?

56
00:02:17,554 --> 00:02:20,314
I hate me!

57
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:24,227
-Did you have fun, though?
-Had a great time.

58
00:02:24,310 --> 00:02:25,600
-Fantastic.
-Thank you.

59
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,147
Great. Just wave to the camera there.

60
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,824
That's a really fun show.

61
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:32,779
- ♪ Watching TV ♪
- [man] Again.

62
00:02:32,902 --> 00:02:35,662
♪ With my best friends
And we're watching TV ♪

63
00:02:35,738 --> 00:02:36,948
[man] Telegram.

64
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:38,321
Oh! Thank you.

65
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:41,487
[ominous music builds]

66
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:42,658
[slide whistle]

67
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:46,333
Oh, my God!
It's a letter from the Buckingham Palace.

68
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:50,036
-The Queen's house?
-No duh, Sherlock. Ever read a book?

69
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,048
What is your fucking problem?

70
00:02:53,131 --> 00:02:55,131
"Dear silly boys,

71
00:02:55,216 --> 00:02:57,506
The Queen has asked me to inform you

72
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:02,064
that she will be joining you for dinner
at your abode this very evening.

73
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,270
Regards, Sir Tommy Nipple Tassels."

74
00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:06,601
A dinner party!

75
00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,686
[all gasp]

76
00:03:13,651 --> 00:03:14,821
Are you gonna cut away? What--

77
00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,913
[electronic beat playing]

78
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,284
[robotic voice] One, two, one, two,
Aunty Donna.

79
00:03:20,366 --> 00:03:21,576
Broden.

80
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,159
Zach.

81
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:24,624
Mark.

82
00:03:30,668 --> 00:03:31,498
Aunty Donna.

83
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:34,166
Polish them spoons, boys.
If the Queen sees a dirty spoon,

84
00:03:34,255 --> 00:03:37,005
she'll be out that door faster
than a startled colt at the Kentucky.

85
00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:39,011
I hope the Queen likes our shiny spoons.

86
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,853
Less yap, more shine.
The sooner we're done,

87
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,719
the sooner you can have
a glass of kombucha.

88
00:03:42,805 --> 00:03:44,175
Sorry. I'm just so nervous.

89
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,805
I don't even know what to cook
for the…

90
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:49,902
-[slow, sensual music playing]
-[deep exhale]

91
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,731
-Oh.
-Sorry!

92
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:56,187
No, that's okay.

93
00:03:56,277 --> 00:03:57,607
No, no, no, that was all me.

94
00:03:57,695 --> 00:04:01,025
-What's going on here?
-Nothing. We're just shining spoons!

95
00:04:01,115 --> 00:04:02,905
Tell you what,
when I'm done with these spoons,

96
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:04,292
you'll be able to see yourself…

97
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:07,619
-[slow, sensual music playing]
-[deep exhale]

98
00:04:07,705 --> 00:04:09,365
[repeats] I didn't see you there.

99
00:04:09,457 --> 00:04:10,287
Whoops again.

100
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:12,085
You two are such goofs.

101
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,378
I mean, I don't know what…

102
00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:16,971
-[slow, sensual music playing]
-[deep exhale]

103
00:04:20,760 --> 00:04:22,180
-Oh…
-Sorry.

104
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,932
No, no, no. That was me.

105
00:04:24,013 --> 00:04:27,393
This is ridiculous.
Mark, Zach, Zach, behave your…

106
00:04:27,475 --> 00:04:30,305
-[pants]
-[slow, sensual music playing]

107
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:35,692
-Oh.
-What?

108
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:40,775
[slow, sensual music continues]

109
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,316
[moans, gasps]

110
00:04:45,201 --> 00:04:46,911
[deep exhale]

111
00:04:50,331 --> 00:04:51,541
[gasps]

112
00:04:53,042 --> 00:04:54,212
This is ridiculous!

113
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:56,594
I need a big glass of kombucha
to clear my head of…

114
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,421
-[slow, sensual music playing]
-[deep exhale]

115
00:05:00,341 --> 00:05:01,801
-[music restarts, cuts out]
-Oh.

116
00:05:01,884 --> 00:05:05,314
[electronic beat playing]

117
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,808
Where is Zach?

118
00:05:06,889 --> 00:05:09,679
We sent him to get a jukebox
15 minutes ago for the dinner party.

119
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:12,267
I know. He can be such a silly sausage.

120
00:05:12,353 --> 00:05:15,113
Oh! So true. He can be a silly sausage.

121
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:18,189
-Yeah. Such a silly sausage.
-Silly, silly sausage.

122
00:05:18,276 --> 00:05:20,946
-He's such a silly sausage sometimes.
-Sausage!

123
00:05:22,113 --> 00:05:23,743
-No!
-Fuck, fuck, fuck no!

124
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,873
Zach! You're a fucking idiot!

125
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,950
-It was an accident.
-Hey, daddios.

126
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:32,076
I don't mind being called a silly dausage.
I mean, it's not even a real word.

127
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,668
No, he called you a silly sausage.

128
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:37,302
I will kill you!

129
00:05:37,378 --> 00:05:39,008
-I'm sorry.
-I'm not a silly sausage!

130
00:05:39,088 --> 00:05:40,048
[Broden] No, Zach!

131
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:42,931
[Zach screams, cries]

132
00:05:43,009 --> 00:05:44,759
He's alright. He's alright.

133
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:47,184
I'm not a silly sausage.

134
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:51,063
[Zach weeps]

135
00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:54,692
As requested,
I present to you one jukebox.

136
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:56,941
Zach, that's not a jukebox. That's a man.

137
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,483
Oh okay, Richard Dawkins.

138
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:05,027
I'll just put a coin into this man then,
shall I?

139
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,534
[laughs] There we go.

140
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:12,749
♪ Hey baby, gonna drive around tonight
Gonna drive, drive, drive… ♪

141
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,290
What the Hoobastank are you doing?
That's a man in a chair.

142
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:19,045
That is literally impossible
because I gave a man 500 dollars

143
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,758
to find me a jukebox.

144
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,548
So if what you're saying is the case,

145
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:26,012
-why is there a jukebox here, hmm?
-[metal clangs]

146
00:06:26,094 --> 00:06:29,264
♪ A well-a well-a well gonna drive
With a baby tonight ♪

147
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:31,427
♪ Gonna drive
Right into a swimming pool… ♪

148
00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,186
Right, now he's said
there's a baby in a car,

149
00:06:34,644 --> 00:06:36,354
and now he's driven that into a pool.

150
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,768
God damn it! He just winked at me!

151
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,824
Zach! Where's our 500 dollars?

152
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,321
Cut the gas, daddio.

153
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,243
If this half cat ain't no jukebox,

154
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,911
-then explain this.
-[metal clangs]

155
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:49,079
♪ Gonna fish the baby out of the pool… ♪

156
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,488
[Broden] Oh my sweet Jesus Christ.

157
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,036
♪ Get the baby pool, get the baby… ♪

158
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:54,581
[slows, powers off]

159
00:06:55,289 --> 00:06:57,999
Oh, he's a jukebox. I get it.

160
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,554
♪ Hey, gonna drive all around the town ♪

161
00:07:00,628 --> 00:07:01,958
♪ Gonna drive with my baby… ♪

162
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,666
Come on, Broden.
You need to stop being such a…

163
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:07,427
[cymbal beat]

164
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:08,972
cunt.

165
00:07:09,053 --> 00:07:11,643
I'm not a cunt.
I'm just a healthy skeptic.

166
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:15,692
If you're such a good jukebox-getter,
why don't you get us a better jukebox.

167
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,018
Alright, I will.

168
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:20,108
What do you reckon of this jukebox, boyos?

169
00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:21,899
Now that's what I call a jukebox.

170
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:25,283
Now this one was two grand,
but that's what you pay for authenticity.

171
00:07:25,862 --> 00:07:27,112
Where's me bloody quarter?

172
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:29,406
-Do you need money?
-I need a quarter, yeah.

173
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,623
Thank you. I appreciate it.

174
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,542
There you go.

175
00:07:35,288 --> 00:07:37,618
♪ Hey baby, gonna dance all night ♪

176
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:38,827
♪ Gonna dance… ♪

177
00:07:38,916 --> 00:07:41,876
If I'm not careful,
I'll be burning holes in my soles.

178
00:07:41,961 --> 00:07:43,961
Someone needs to switch to decaf.

179
00:08:03,858 --> 00:08:07,648
[ominous music builds]

180
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:12,827
[quietly] I said,
somebody better switch to decaf.

181
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:14,082
[gasps]

182
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:19,706
What…

183
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,795
[buzzing]

184
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:29,179
They haven't laughed in six episodes.

185
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:32,348
-[strings crescendo]
-[buzzing increases]

186
00:08:32,428 --> 00:08:36,218
[electronic beat playing]

187
00:08:37,266 --> 00:08:40,516
Call me BNN
'cause I've got some Broden News News.

188
00:08:40,603 --> 00:08:43,773
I booked us a session
with a professional stylist.

189
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,436
Wow!

190
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:47,775
-Let's go try on clothes!
-[Mark, Zach] Yeah!

191
00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:49,150
[upbeat pop playing]

192
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:50,567
-Yeah!
-Come on! Get in!

193
00:08:50,655 --> 00:08:53,445
Fashion. Shopping. Fashion. And clothes.

194
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,373
Oh God, this is such a great idea.

195
00:08:57,411 --> 00:09:00,121
There she is! Hey! [laughs]

196
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,616
Gotta find a parking spot.

197
00:09:01,707 --> 00:09:03,627
We're gonna look flash for the Queen.

198
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:06,459
Fashion. Shopping. Fashion. And clothes.

199
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,876
God, it is full. This car park is full.

200
00:09:08,965 --> 00:09:10,125
[Broden] Can't find a spot.

201
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:12,176
-[Mark] It's coming.
-Let's go around.

202
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:13,510
Are these people going?

203
00:09:13,594 --> 00:09:15,724
Uh, are they saying goodbye?

204
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:18,515
Are you… Well, if you stop, I can ask.

205
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,806
Let's do another loop.

206
00:09:21,894 --> 00:09:23,654
Cut that out now, I reckon, yeah.

207
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,899
Broman, did you wanna take
one of the side streets, or… ?

208
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,204
I get the sense
this is quite residential now.

209
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,872
I don't think you're gonna find anything.

210
00:09:35,950 --> 00:09:38,580
-They really should just have…
-[Broden] Oh my God!

211
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:40,201
I can jump out,
tell her we're gonna be--

212
00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:43,368
No, it's gonna be five minutes. It's fine.
It's gonna be five minutes.

213
00:09:46,043 --> 00:09:48,213
These areas, like,
because I don't wanna spend…

214
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,126
Get out, Zach.

215
00:09:49,213 --> 00:09:51,223
Get out. Get Out. Get out now. Get out.

216
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,089
We can't just fucking wait here!

217
00:09:53,175 --> 00:09:54,175
-[repeating] Go!
-Get out!

218
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,389
Sorry about this.
They shouldn't be too long.

219
00:09:58,014 --> 00:10:00,024
That's okay. I understand.

220
00:10:00,516 --> 00:10:02,596
Infrastructure here is a fucking joke.
Always has been.

221
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,595
You getting upset's
not gonna change it, mate.

222
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,147
I'm not fucking upset, fuck head!

223
00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:09,855
[chuckles]

224
00:10:16,073 --> 00:10:19,413
You call me fucking this and fucking that
like I'm nothing, like I don't matter.

225
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:21,003
I forgive you. I forgive you.

226
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,002
-You forgive me?
-Yeah.

227
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:23,960
For what?

228
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:24,960
For yelling.

229
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:27,964
You yelled.

230
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:32,423
You yelled. You fucking…
You fucking yelled!

231
00:10:33,924 --> 00:10:35,094
You fucking yelled!

232
00:10:36,177 --> 00:10:39,807
Um, I'm sorry,
but I'm gonna have to close up shop.

233
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:50,438
Bro, I had a really good fashion montage.
I know we didn't get dressed or anything,

234
00:10:50,524 --> 00:10:52,494
but I thought
it was a really good fashion montage.

235
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:53,818
-Okay?
-Thank you. Thanks.

236
00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,570
♪ It's time to get sexy
It's time to get fresh ♪

237
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,487
[electronic beat playing]

238
00:11:05,956 --> 00:11:09,836
The Queen hath never deemed fit
to visit my family estate.

239
00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,629
Sorry, I didn't catch your name.

240
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:15,592
I'm Lord Whoopee,
Master of Etiquette and Manners.

241
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,505
Did you not request my services
for this evening's engagement?

242
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,764
Yeah, but did you just break
into our house?

243
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:22,769
No.

244
00:11:23,265 --> 00:11:27,555
The first lesson
and the truest test of any gentleman

245
00:11:27,645 --> 00:11:30,145
is the simple act of sitting down.

246
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:33,361
Broden, I presume. Please, take a seat.

247
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,112
[shouting]

248
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:38,449
Is that a whoopee cushion?

249
00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:39,621
What are you waiting for?

250
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:41,951
A handwritten invitation?

251
00:11:44,745 --> 00:11:46,495
[whoopee cushion farting]

252
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,253
And you think yourself ready,

253
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:53,593
ready to entertain Her Royal Majesty
the Queen of England?

254
00:11:53,671 --> 00:11:56,011
[chuckles]

255
00:12:00,428 --> 00:12:01,428
[Mark] What are you doing?

256
00:12:04,598 --> 00:12:06,098
[patting]

257
00:12:07,017 --> 00:12:09,347
You, the one they call Tim.

258
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:10,267
-[Mark] Mark.
-Mark.

259
00:12:10,354 --> 00:12:13,574
You think you will fare better
at the task of sitting down?

260
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:15,939
-Probably not. He put a whoopee cushion--
-No.

261
00:12:16,026 --> 00:12:17,856
-Show me then.
-Just sit down.

262
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,105
Um, alright.

263
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,450
[whoopee cushion farts]

264
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:21,736
[farts again]

265
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:23,284
-I know that wasn't you.
-Oh?

266
00:12:23,659 --> 00:12:26,829
I have a tool, you see?
But they don't know that.

267
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:30,495
To them, you've just got a farty bottom.

268
00:12:30,916 --> 00:12:33,206
-This is very silly. This is a very sill--
-This is absurd.

269
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,504
-[whoopee cushion inflating]
-He's blowing it up again.

270
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,838
Do I dare two at once?

271
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,722
And so it shall be.

272
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:45,389
[diabolical laugh]

273
00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:46,643
[Lord Whoopee screams]

274
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,644
Now I will sit down!

275
00:12:48,726 --> 00:12:51,896
-But I've forgotten where I--
-[whoopee cushions fart dramatically]

276
00:12:51,979 --> 00:12:52,899
There it is.

277
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,480
Like Icarus,

278
00:12:55,816 --> 00:12:58,106
I have flown too close to the sun.

279
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,490
Oh, hubris.

280
00:13:01,322 --> 00:13:04,032
Oh, instruments of darkness.

281
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,116
You have shown me that it was not them.

282
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:11,537
But rather I who was
the farty farty bum bum all along.

283
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:12,881
[gasps]

284
00:13:14,251 --> 00:13:16,051
-[narrator] And he died.
-[clock tolling]

285
00:13:16,128 --> 00:13:17,338
From that day forth,

286
00:13:17,421 --> 00:13:20,131
fart tools were renamed
in Lord Whoopie's honor.

287
00:13:20,925 --> 00:13:22,715
They became known

288
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,222
as Lordie Cushions.

289
00:13:25,179 --> 00:13:26,009
[Broden grunts]

290
00:13:29,266 --> 00:13:30,346
[giggling]

291
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,725
[incoherent shouting]

292
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:39,026
-Did I scare ya?
-Yes, you did.

293
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:41,779
So much so that you made me piss my pants.

294
00:13:41,862 --> 00:13:43,572
Oh my God!

295
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,664
Ugh.

296
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:48,158
You did so good at scaring me, Broden,

297
00:13:48,244 --> 00:13:50,124
that you made me piss my pants, see?

298
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,254
Okay.

299
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,832
You didn't seem very scared.

300
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:56,746
-Well, I was. I was terrified.
-Okay.

301
00:13:58,087 --> 00:14:00,587
If I'm being honest,
I think you pissed your pants earlier

302
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,593
and now you're using me coming
and scaring you

303
00:14:02,675 --> 00:14:05,085
as an excuse to say you pissed your pants.

304
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,717
Is that what happened?

305
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,144
-Yes.
-Okay.

306
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:16,647
Can you vacuum the house?
This place isn't fit for a queen.

307
00:14:16,730 --> 00:14:18,900
And I ain't talking 'bout RuPaul.

308
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:21,993
Are you talking
about the actual Queen of England?

309
00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:23,029
-Yes.
-[Zach] Yeah.

310
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:27,162
-I'll go get the vacuum then.
-Thank you. And wait, let's talk biscuits.

311
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:29,791
Why the fuck is the place covered
in biscuits?

312
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:32,869
Did we shoot a sketch I was not involved
in where biscuits covered the floor…

313
00:14:32,955 --> 00:14:34,205
[narrator] Hello there.

314
00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:38,125
I wonder, have you ever asked yourself,

315
00:14:38,210 --> 00:14:41,670
"Hmm, what goes on underneath my cupboard?

316
00:14:41,755 --> 00:14:44,425
Is there a tiny man
that lives under there?"

317
00:14:44,967 --> 00:14:46,757
Well, why don't we ask!?

318
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,764
♪ Tiny little man ♪

319
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,636
♪ Titchy tiny little man ♪

320
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:54,523
♪ His best friend's made of buttons
And his bed's a slice of ham ♪

321
00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,982
♪ When you drop a rubber band ♪

322
00:14:57,062 --> 00:14:58,612
♪ Well, he begins to shine ♪

323
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:02,479
♪ With the help of some toothpicks
He'll make a washing line ♪

324
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:06,448
♪ His table's made of buttons
Held together with some gum ♪

325
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:10,450
♪ And his pillow is an olive
That he puts inside his tum ♪

326
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,788
♪ For bread he'll eat
Your breakfast crumbs ♪

327
00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,750
♪ That have fallen on the floor ♪

328
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:18,250
♪ For jam he'll use a tiny jar of jam
He bought from the tiny store ♪

329
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:21,844
♪ Because there is a tiny store
Where he can buy normal things ♪

330
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,671
♪ That are small, but for some reason ♪

331
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:26,586
♪ Sometimes he'll make things
From stuff you drop on the floor ♪

332
00:15:26,675 --> 00:15:28,885
♪ He works as a tiny broker ♪

333
00:15:28,969 --> 00:15:30,639
♪ Trading regular Wall Street stock ♪

334
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:32,721
♪ But talking on a normal sized phone ♪

335
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:34,516
♪ Can be rather cocked ♪

336
00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:38,770
♪ So he went to the tiny store
And bought a Bluetooth headset ♪

337
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,774
♪ But then the market dropped ♪

338
00:15:40,856 --> 00:15:42,476
♪ Points are at one percent ♪

339
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:46,526
♪ Now points are at one percent
Might not seem like much to you ♪

340
00:15:46,612 --> 00:15:48,532
♪ But because he is very small ♪

341
00:15:48,614 --> 00:15:50,574
♪ To him it's rather huge ♪

342
00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:54,288
♪ To him points are at one percent
Is a million percent ♪

343
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,500
♪ So we tied a noose with a hair tie ♪

344
00:15:56,580 --> 00:16:00,750
♪ That was pink and fluorescent ♪

345
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:02,804
♪ Tiny little man ♪

346
00:16:02,878 --> 00:16:04,708
♪ Very, very, very small tiny man ♪

347
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:08,297
♪ Be careful what you drop
He might use it to kill himself ♪

348
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:10,764
♪ He loves to chat to his best friend ♪

349
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:12,474
♪ They sing and dance and play all day ♪

350
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:13,684
♪ His best friend loves to… ♪

351
00:16:13,764 --> 00:16:15,564
What the bloody hell is that?

352
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:16,891
No! No!

353
00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:18,765
Don't let go!

354
00:16:19,353 --> 00:16:20,523
Don't let go!

355
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:24,944
[screams] No! No! No!

356
00:16:25,025 --> 00:16:29,355
No!

357
00:16:31,031 --> 00:16:32,531
Are you happy now, Broden?

358
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:33,910
Shut up.

359
00:16:34,368 --> 00:16:36,698
[electronic beat playing]

360
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:39,620
-[Zach groans]
-The beans are getting cold.

361
00:16:40,499 --> 00:16:42,579
-What's the time, Broden?
-4:30.

362
00:16:43,085 --> 00:16:45,085
-Dinner time.
-Guess she isn't coming.

363
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,304
-Humph!
-Well, hey now, boys.

364
00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,092
Sure the Queen stood us up.

365
00:16:50,175 --> 00:16:53,635
You're not gonna let that ruin the great
times we've had together, are you?

366
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:54,681
Humph!

367
00:16:54,763 --> 00:16:57,853
Remember that time we won
all those award necklaces at 'Lympics?

368
00:16:57,933 --> 00:16:59,893
[slow piano music plays]

369
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:03,016
I guess so.

370
00:17:03,105 --> 00:17:04,855
What about those morning browns?

371
00:17:07,943 --> 00:17:10,073
I guess that was kinda cool.

372
00:17:10,154 --> 00:17:12,574
And what about that one time
it was night-time?

373
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,736
[slowed down] Night-time.

374
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,288
[Mark] You're right, Broden.

375
00:17:17,911 --> 00:17:22,251
Maybe the most royal-est thing of all
wasn't the Queen coming over to dinner

376
00:17:22,332 --> 00:17:23,792
but the friendships we made.

377
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:24,836
Oh, now she's here.

378
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,918
["Rule Britannia!" playing]

379
00:17:30,549 --> 00:17:33,179
Yeah!

380
00:17:33,260 --> 00:17:35,140
What's up, you pieces of shit!

381
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:36,970
I'm ready to party!

382
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,476
Woo!

383
00:17:39,558 --> 00:17:42,228
What's it like living
in the Buckingham Palace?

384
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,561
Oh! Spooky.

385
00:17:43,645 --> 00:17:46,815
I can't believe it.
Two real-life Grenadier Guardsmen.

386
00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,029
Yeah, we're the real deal, baby. You know?

387
00:17:49,109 --> 00:17:50,989
-Thank you so much.
-[the Queen] You're welcome.

388
00:17:51,070 --> 00:17:52,200
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum.

389
00:17:52,279 --> 00:17:54,109
And then the bad reviews come in.

390
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,445
-Were you stealing spoons?
-What…

391
00:17:56,533 --> 00:17:57,373
What?

392
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,951
-[the Queen] Chill.
-Who wants gravy?

393
00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,536
-You do!
-Okay!

394
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,331
-Yeah!
-[slurping]

395
00:18:02,414 --> 00:18:03,834
He didn't steal the spoon.

396
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:06,753
-So, just shut up about it.
-Okay. Jesus.

397
00:18:07,544 --> 00:18:09,134
I'm the fucking Queen of England.

398
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:11,053
Oh, hell yeah! Jukebox!

399
00:18:11,131 --> 00:18:12,631
-Yeah!
-[dubstep playing]

400
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,176
What do you think of this, Queen?

401
00:18:14,259 --> 00:18:15,719
Yeah, it's fucking sick.

402
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,813
I've been watching The Crown.
That shit's lit.

403
00:18:17,888 --> 00:18:18,928
Yeah, it's about you.

404
00:18:19,473 --> 00:18:20,973
-What?
-You're the Queen.

405
00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,268
-No, The Crown I've been watching.
-[Mark] Yeah.

406
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:27,152
Dance! Dance! Dance!

407
00:18:27,689 --> 00:18:29,529
Who the fuck are you?

408
00:18:29,608 --> 00:18:31,108
What the fuck are you?

409
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,153
-Who the fuck are you?
-[shuddering]

410
00:18:35,531 --> 00:18:36,451
What happened?

411
00:18:36,532 --> 00:18:38,622
Somebody wanna do some molly or…?

412
00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:40,695
Oh Jesus.

413
00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:41,866
[shouting]

414
00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:43,124
[Mark] Oh, yeah!

415
00:18:43,205 --> 00:18:44,745
-[Zach] Unbelievable.
-[Mark] Go, Queen.

416
00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:45,712
Uh-oh. Knock, knock.

417
00:18:45,791 --> 00:18:48,091
-Who am I?
-This guy!

418
00:18:48,168 --> 00:18:49,458
It's disrespectful.

419
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:51,085
It's a bit disrespectful.

420
00:18:51,171 --> 00:18:52,381
[wretching]

421
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:55,134
-Didn't ruin the party.
-You had a nice time. I'm a messy bitch.

422
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:56,507
-[doorbell]
-[knocking]

423
00:18:56,593 --> 00:18:59,683
Good evening.
I'm Sir Tommy Nipple Tassels.

424
00:18:59,763 --> 00:19:00,933
-Come on.
-I don't wanna go.

425
00:19:01,014 --> 00:19:02,354
I don't wanna go.

426
00:19:02,432 --> 00:19:04,642
I'm gonna waste my time?
I was eating a bread.

427
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:05,806
I can be fun, too.

428
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:07,604
-[Zach] Yeah?
-Yeah, I'm a fun guy.

429
00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,280
[Mark groaning, choking]

430
00:19:16,363 --> 00:19:17,453
Tap out, baby!

431
00:19:17,531 --> 00:19:18,911
Tap out!

432
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:19,991
Tap out!

433
00:19:20,075 --> 00:19:22,325
Ah! That was fun!

434
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,581
Guys, I'm sorry, I have to be corny
for half a second.

435
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,753
-[Mark] Yeah.
-Thank you so much.

436
00:19:26,832 --> 00:19:29,792
You have thrown the best party.
Thank you.

437
00:19:29,877 --> 00:19:31,917
-Cheers. No worries.
-[the Queen] You're the best.

438
00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:35,094
-Thank you.
-[whopee cushion farting]

439
00:19:36,091 --> 00:19:36,971
What?

440
00:19:37,301 --> 00:19:38,221
[gasps]

441
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,342
[gasps]

442
00:19:40,554 --> 00:19:42,224
-[gasps]
-[laughter]

443
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,904
[laughing harder and harder]

444
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:51,319
They're laughing! They're laughing!

445
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:53,778
We bloody did it!

446
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,899
[cheering]

447
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:56,856
Yes!

448
00:19:57,279 --> 00:19:58,529
We've bloody done it!

449
00:19:58,614 --> 00:20:00,574
[cheering]

450
00:20:00,657 --> 00:20:02,697
We've been Aunty Donna!

451
00:20:02,784 --> 00:20:03,834
Wow.

452
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,541
[triumphant fanfare playing]

453
00:20:06,622 --> 00:20:08,212
Oh, yeah!

454
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,830
We thank you!

455
00:20:12,085 --> 00:20:13,245
[robotic voice] Aunty Donna.

456
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:17,337
♪ Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun
We hope you're liking season one ♪

457
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:21,932
♪ Tiny little man ♪

458
00:20:22,930 --> 00:20:26,520
♪ Tiny little man ♪

459
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,310
[slows to distortion]

460
00:20:36,777 --> 00:20:39,147
[emotional music playing]

461
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:40,408
No!

462
00:20:41,406 --> 00:20:42,276
No!

463
00:20:43,533 --> 00:20:46,663
No!

464
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:54,629
[dramatic music intensifies]

465
00:20:54,711 --> 00:20:55,671
Aunty Donna.

466
00:20:55,754 --> 00:20:57,674
♪ Aunty Donna's Big Ol' House of Fun ♪

467
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,586
♪ We hope you're liking season one ♪

468
00:20:59,675 --> 00:21:01,585
♪ If not, get fucked and leave, you dog ♪

469
00:21:01,677 --> 00:21:03,137
♪ Just joking, please keep watching ♪

470
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,970
♪ This ep had guests, they were funny ♪

471
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,885
♪ Brendan, Tawny, Paul and Ify ♪

472
00:21:06,974 --> 00:21:08,774
♪ Pepto, Bang Bang, Mavis Jo ♪

473
00:21:08,850 --> 00:21:10,890
-♪ Thanks Brett, Mike, Corinne, Jargo ♪
-♪ And Jason ♪

474
00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:12,690
♪ Thanks Brett ♪

475
00:21:13,647 --> 00:21:14,647
♪ Thanks Mike ♪

476
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:18,494
-♪ Thanks Corinne, thanks Jargo ♪
-♪ And Jason ♪

477
00:21:19,444 --> 00:21:20,534
♪ Thanks Brett ♪

478
00:21:21,154 --> 00:21:22,244
♪ Thanks Mike ♪

479
00:21:22,990 --> 00:21:25,700
-♪ Thanks Corinne, thanks Jargo ♪
-♪ Aunty Donna ♪

480
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:29,656
♪ Watch, watch, watch, watching ♪

481
00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:33,503
-♪ Watch, watch, watch ♪
-♪ Aunty ♪

482
00:21:33,583 --> 00:21:37,713
-♪ Watch, watch, watch ♪
-♪ Donna ♪