1 00:00:45,092 --> 00:00:46,552 You're incredible. 2 00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:49,346 My heart is still racing. 3 00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:52,891 I felt it too. 4 00:00:52,975 --> 00:00:54,935 All thanks to your brute strength, dash, 5 00:00:55,519 --> 00:00:58,188 and your knowledge of ancient aramaic mathematics. 6 00:00:58,272 --> 00:01:01,191 Please. This has nothing to do with my two doctorates 7 00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:03,110 and my master's in gender studies 8 00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:06,947 and everything to do with you, Dr. Lovemore. 9 00:01:07,531 --> 00:01:08,740 The truth is, 10 00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:12,035 I never thought I would find the lost city of d. 11 00:01:12,119 --> 00:01:14,121 I would choose your words carefully. 12 00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,915 They will be your last. 13 00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:20,752 You led me right to king kalaman's tomb 14 00:01:20,836 --> 00:01:24,381 and his queen's legendary crown of fire. 15 00:01:24,464 --> 00:01:26,842 And now I will be very rich, 16 00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:30,095 and you will be very dead. 17 00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:34,558 Hold up. Are these your snakes? 18 00:01:34,641 --> 00:01:36,435 No, they were just here. 19 00:01:36,518 --> 00:01:38,895 There were just hundreds of snakes in this temple 20 00:01:38,979 --> 00:01:40,856 just waiting for us to show up? 21 00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:43,139 - Who feeds them? You feed them? - No, what do they eat? 22 00:01:43,191 --> 00:01:45,511 Why is that one not biting that guy? Why is that happening? 23 00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:47,422 Are they trained not to bite henchmen or something? 24 00:01:47,446 --> 00:01:48,447 Yeah, well... 25 00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:50,758 I mean, the snake-to-temple ratio alone... 26 00:01:50,782 --> 00:01:53,076 This is ridiculous. Delete. 27 00:01:53,952 --> 00:01:56,288 I think my character can still work. 28 00:01:56,371 --> 00:01:57,372 Delete. 29 00:01:58,373 --> 00:02:00,250 Loretta, you still have a story to write. 30 00:02:01,126 --> 00:02:02,127 Delete. 31 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,590 Hey, its me, bet/7. 32 00:02:06,673 --> 00:02:09,384 I don't want to pull the whole ”I'm your publisher” card, but / am. 33 00:02:09,468 --> 00:02:11,779 And I'm really looking forward to seeing this last chapter. 34 00:02:11,803 --> 00:02:14,097 But no pressure. No, there actually is pressure. 35 00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:18,018 The exact amount of pressure that motivates you but doesn't paralyze you. 36 00:02:18,101 --> 00:02:19,811 You got this. 37 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,189 Thank you. 38 00:02:23,398 --> 00:02:24,399 Ll/le again. 39 00:02:24,483 --> 00:02:26,360 Okay, so everything is set for the book tour, 40 00:02:26,443 --> 00:02:29,279 but, uh, the only thing we need is a book to tour with. 41 00:02:29,363 --> 00:02:31,633 I can't help but get the feeling that you're not finishing 42 00:02:31,657 --> 00:02:34,284 because you don't want to leave your house. 43 00:02:34,868 --> 00:02:39,414 Listen, lknow these last five years have been hard after John is passing, 44 00:02:39,498 --> 00:02:42,793 and it feels easier to live in your bathtub, 45 00:02:42,876 --> 00:02:44,836 drinking chardonnay on ice. 46 00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:48,590 But, girl, there is a great big world waiting for you 47 00:02:48,674 --> 00:02:51,510 and a book tour that / can't cancel, so just make it happen, all right? 48 00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:52,636 Love you, bye! 49 00:03:11,947 --> 00:03:13,240 We have to keep going. 50 00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:16,326 Let's see what's on the other side of that door. 51 00:03:17,035 --> 00:03:18,912 But what if there isn't anything? 52 00:03:19,746 --> 00:03:21,707 There's only one way to find out. 53 00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:24,793 Then lovemore realized 54 00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,254 the treasure she wanted was lost forever 55 00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,631 and her adventures were coming to an end. 56 00:03:29,715 --> 00:03:30,924 That doesn't feel right. 57 00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:32,801 Yeah, but that's it. 58 00:03:32,884 --> 00:03:34,177 That's the end. 59 00:03:43,311 --> 00:03:44,730 Well, John, 60 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,648 here I go. 61 00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:48,734 Dulcius ex asperis. 62 00:03:55,699 --> 00:03:57,117 Okay, honey, it's showtime. 63 00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,428 Are you sure about this? 64 00:03:58,452 --> 00:04:02,080 Because I have a wedgie in the back and in the front in this thing. 65 00:04:02,164 --> 00:04:04,416 I feel like a nerdy figure skater. 66 00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:07,169 - Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it. - No, it's not. It's not. 67 00:04:07,252 --> 00:04:09,004 - How do I move in this? - Don't touch it. 68 00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:11,691 - I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out. - Stop it. Will you stop? 69 00:04:11,715 --> 00:04:13,759 Get it out now 'cause you can't do that onstage. 70 00:04:14,342 --> 00:04:16,511 And we're done. And we're done. Okay, good. 71 00:04:16,595 --> 00:04:20,140 - Do I need to be wearing a glitter onesie? - You only have to wear this for two hours. 72 00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:22,303 Do not mess this up, do you hear me? This is on loan. 73 00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,352 Everyone's wearing sequins right now. 74 00:04:25,771 --> 00:04:27,898 - Why is she taking my photo? - This is Allison. 75 00:04:27,981 --> 00:04:30,400 She is our new social media manager. 76 00:04:30,484 --> 00:04:33,320 And she's gonna be helping us target that younger demographic. 77 00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,822 Meaning women in their 303 who wish they were in their 203. 78 00:04:35,906 --> 00:04:37,073 Hey, what's up? 79 00:04:37,157 --> 00:04:40,952 Um, I took over your socials, so this morning you tweeted, 80 00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:46,082 "where are my ladies at? Meet me at ballroom g at 5:00 pm. 81 00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,751 #shawnmendes. 82 00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:50,170 #gaggingtomeetyouall." 83 00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:53,507 Okay, we are having fun. Let's go. 84 00:04:54,508 --> 00:04:56,444 We need to remind people that you are still alive. 85 00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:57,928 People know I'm alive. 86 00:04:58,011 --> 00:05:01,223 And to remind them why this used to be the best selling franchise. 87 00:05:01,306 --> 00:05:02,307 In romance. 88 00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:05,101 Yes, which is the top revenue-generating literary category. 89 00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,905 Revenue-generating isn't how I would describe our presales right now. 90 00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:10,148 Just think of this as a way that uses word of mouth. 91 00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:12,043 You want word of mouth? Here we go. How's this? 92 00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,736 "The only thing more lost than the city is the author herself." 93 00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:16,488 "Loveless." "passionless." 94 00:05:16,571 --> 00:05:20,575 "Way past her prime." And, "this is fake history at its worst." 95 00:05:20,659 --> 00:05:22,911 A book tour could change everything, okay? 96 00:05:22,994 --> 00:05:25,413 We have to remind the fans why they love you so much. 97 00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:29,042 Real history. I merely season it with a smidge more nudity. 98 00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:31,127 History had a ton of nudity. 99 00:05:32,212 --> 00:05:34,130 Deep exp/oration. 100 00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:36,132 Steamy wondering. 101 00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:41,346 I/I/I/I lovemore and dash fl'nd queen taha is priceless crown of fire? 102 00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:43,932 Join them on their search. 103 00:05:44,015 --> 00:05:46,202 So, listen, I wanted to talk to you about something. 104 00:05:46,226 --> 00:05:47,328 There's so many people. 105 00:05:47,352 --> 00:05:49,688 I know how much you hate doing these things, 106 00:05:49,771 --> 00:05:52,482 so I've invited Alan to do the q and a with you today. 107 00:05:52,566 --> 00:05:54,401 - What? - And the rest of the book tour. 108 00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:57,612 Beth, I expressly asked not to do any more events with dash... Alan, Alan! 109 00:05:57,696 --> 00:06:00,532 - He's gonna humiliate me. - He's not gonna humiliate you. 110 00:06:00,615 --> 00:06:03,493 Thank you. You're very good at your job. Thank you so much. Thank you. 111 00:06:03,577 --> 00:06:04,887 Let me help you with that. 112 00:06:04,911 --> 00:06:08,874 He's a body wash commercial. He's always glistening all over the place. 113 00:06:08,957 --> 00:06:11,835 There hasn't been an event where his shirt didn't come flying off. 114 00:06:11,918 --> 00:06:13,604 - You wish. - Well, he's already here, 115 00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:15,922 so put on your big-girl panties and let's get out there. 116 00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,050 Remember, no grumpy face, big words or boring academic talk. 117 00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:22,470 Yes! Yes! 118 00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,431 Come on, rtp! 119 00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,057 Ha-ha! 120 00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:28,476 Yes, my lovemore-heads! 121 00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,813 I am so excited to introduce to you 122 00:06:31,897 --> 00:06:36,067 the award-winning author, Loretta sage! 123 00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:38,653 - Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready. - Are you kidding me? 124 00:06:38,737 --> 00:06:41,990 Listen, I've got your back. You got this. Go give the people what they want. 125 00:06:42,073 --> 00:06:43,950 - It's not me they want. - Get out there now! 126 00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:50,165 Hi. How are you? Nice to see you. Thank you. 127 00:06:55,629 --> 00:06:57,255 Yep. Mount it. 128 00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:02,677 Mount it. Mount it. Okay. 129 00:07:02,761 --> 00:07:04,638 Find your center. 130 00:07:04,721 --> 00:07:07,515 And now, the moment you've all been waiting for. 131 00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:10,077 - The sexiest... - All right! 132 00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:14,314 Most influential hero of a generation. 133 00:07:14,397 --> 00:07:15,398 That's a bit strong. 134 00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:18,026 His 20th cover of an Angela lovemore novel. 135 00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:20,904 Dash McMahon! 136 00:07:26,451 --> 00:07:28,912 Oh, my god! Dash! 137 00:07:51,726 --> 00:07:53,979 - Take a bow. - I already did mine. I did mine. 138 00:07:54,062 --> 00:07:56,690 Okay, come on. One more. I got you. 139 00:08:11,955 --> 00:08:13,748 Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my god. 140 00:08:13,832 --> 00:08:17,502 I'm loving this chemistry between you two, and I got to say, 141 00:08:17,585 --> 00:08:19,796 I love this book. 142 00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:21,065 - Oh, thank you, ray. - Thank... 143 00:08:21,089 --> 00:08:22,382 Spoiler alert. 144 00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:26,011 A really bold choice to not have them go into the tomb at the end. 145 00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:27,494 Talk about what went into this one. 146 00:08:27,554 --> 00:08:31,224 This one's such a special book for me personally. 147 00:08:31,307 --> 00:08:34,144 I don't know how to say how much it means to me 148 00:08:34,227 --> 00:08:36,396 that Loretta, word writer extraordinaire, 149 00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:39,357 has named the book after me. 150 00:08:39,441 --> 00:08:41,276 The lost city of dash. 151 00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:42,569 The lost city of d. 152 00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,946 Um, but that's not what the d stands for. 153 00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,364 It's d for "dick," right? 154 00:08:46,448 --> 00:08:47,808 No dick, no. 155 00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:51,036 It's based on the name of an ancient tribe, dapocagihou-dysphem-ica. 156 00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:55,665 Um, it was too difficult for the European colonizers to pronounce, 157 00:08:55,749 --> 00:08:57,810 - so, in true colonial fashion... - No one cares about this. 158 00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:58,835 They abbreviated it. 159 00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:00,086 That's so interesting. 160 00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:03,131 Okay. How about we take some questions from the audience? 161 00:09:03,214 --> 00:09:05,216 - Right here, handsome! - Yes. 162 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,636 Dash, what's your favorite romantic moment? 163 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,096 Ooh. 164 00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:13,850 What I would really like to know is what is Loretta's favorite romantic moment? 165 00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,894 Ooh, spicy. 166 00:09:15,977 --> 00:09:20,815 Oh, uh... well, being a sapiosexual... 167 00:09:20,899 --> 00:09:23,068 Oh, is that when they do the snakes around the... 168 00:09:23,151 --> 00:09:26,571 No. That's someone who finds intellect 169 00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:31,117 or intelligence very sexy, you know. 170 00:09:31,201 --> 00:09:32,285 Same. 171 00:09:32,994 --> 00:09:33,995 Really? 172 00:09:34,079 --> 00:09:36,289 Dash! Rip off your shirt! 173 00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:40,668 No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today. We're here for Loretta's book. 174 00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:42,587 Do we have questions for Loretta? 175 00:09:43,505 --> 00:09:47,759 Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady? What would you like to ask me? 176 00:09:47,842 --> 00:09:49,928 Can you rip off dash's shirt? 177 00:09:51,513 --> 00:09:54,390 No, we're not gonna do this again. Sorry. 178 00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:56,935 Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off! 179 00:09:57,018 --> 00:09:59,479 Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off! 180 00:09:59,562 --> 00:10:02,982 Of course. Of course, yes. Can do. 181 00:10:03,691 --> 00:10:05,401 Like, is this happening? 182 00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,362 - You don't have to do this. - Oh, we have to. 183 00:10:07,445 --> 00:10:09,572 We have to give the people what they want. Yes, yes. 184 00:10:09,656 --> 00:10:12,367 We have to give the people what they want, yes. 185 00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:14,828 Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy. 186 00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:20,500 Because the lost city of d is dash's final adventure. 187 00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,710 If there even is a next book, 188 00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:25,755 it will open with lovemore receiving the tragic news 189 00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:28,133 of his untimely death. 190 00:10:28,216 --> 00:10:29,509 What? 191 00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,445 - Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck. - Hold on. 192 00:10:31,469 --> 00:10:32,595 I know. Don't pull it. 193 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,055 It's okay. Just be real still. 194 00:10:34,139 --> 00:10:35,825 - No. That's pulling it. - You're pulling it. 195 00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:38,143 You're gonna rip my wig off. No, you can't... 196 00:10:42,647 --> 00:10:43,648 Oh, my! 197 00:10:43,731 --> 00:10:45,334 - Oh, my god. - Is he okay? 198 00:10:45,358 --> 00:10:46,943 God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 199 00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:48,695 I'm so sorry. 200 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:49,839 You're a bad person. 201 00:10:49,863 --> 00:10:53,783 Stick around for the costume contest at 6:00 pm. 202 00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,328 "If there is another book"? 203 00:10:57,412 --> 00:11:02,375 I'm investing everything we've got into this tour, okay? 204 00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:05,628 I just don't think I have another dash and lovemore adventure in me. 205 00:11:05,712 --> 00:11:07,213 How does dash die? 206 00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:09,507 - Was it the snakes? - No. 207 00:11:09,591 --> 00:11:12,051 Okay, so I have something that I have to take care of. 208 00:11:12,135 --> 00:11:14,512 You guys have an interview in the next suite in ten minutes. 209 00:11:14,596 --> 00:11:16,931 So can you please do me a favor and be grown-ups 210 00:11:17,015 --> 00:11:18,495 and get yourselves there on your own? 211 00:11:18,558 --> 00:11:19,767 Okay. Thank you so much. 212 00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:22,478 Does he die from a staph infection? 213 00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,608 It is a staph infection. I knew it. 214 00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:29,194 I-I... all right. 215 00:11:29,277 --> 00:11:32,614 Look, lgetfi if you need a break or something, 216 00:11:32,697 --> 00:11:34,782 - but you can't just kill me, okay? - Okay. 217 00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:39,162 I hate that I have to ask this, but you do know you're not dash, right? 218 00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:41,289 Dash is a character I made up. 219 00:11:41,372 --> 00:11:42,624 Dash? 220 00:11:46,169 --> 00:11:47,754 - Thanks. - Thank you. 221 00:11:50,715 --> 00:11:53,092 - Loretta, it's this way. - No, I think it's this way. 222 00:11:53,176 --> 00:11:55,428 Can't you see that dash means so much to people? 223 00:11:55,511 --> 00:11:57,305 - Means so much to you. - Not to me. 224 00:11:57,388 --> 00:11:59,224 Well, yeah, to me, but to other people too. 225 00:11:59,307 --> 00:12:02,310 - What about Beth? - You know what? Beth is gonna be fine. 226 00:12:02,393 --> 00:12:06,064 She's gonna find plenty fresh, young writers full of great ideas. 227 00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:08,191 You can transition gracefully 228 00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:10,526 into the shirt-on phase of your modeling career, 229 00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:12,070 and I can be left alone. 230 00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,863 Everybody is happy. 231 00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:15,281 No, it's this way. 232 00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:17,927 Beth says you don't even leave the house anymore. 233 00:12:17,951 --> 00:12:19,911 I don't feel like that's very happy. 234 00:12:19,994 --> 00:12:23,039 You should be going out in the world, filling yourself up on new experiences. 235 00:12:23,122 --> 00:12:25,458 I'm already filled up. I'm full. I'm fully satiated. 236 00:12:25,541 --> 00:12:28,795 Why would you want to be stuck at home alone when you could see the world? 237 00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,358 You could be visiting ancient Greece. 238 00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:33,341 How could I visit ancient Greece? 239 00:12:33,424 --> 00:12:35,510 I get it. Because you're afraid of flying. 240 00:12:35,593 --> 00:12:38,972 No. Because ancient Greece is in the past. 241 00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:40,556 Just like dash. 242 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,143 Okay. You want to know who else is stuck in the past? You are. 243 00:12:44,227 --> 00:12:46,830 You're so afraid of life hurting you again that you've stopped living. 244 00:12:46,854 --> 00:12:48,982 You're like a human mummy. 245 00:12:50,608 --> 00:12:52,610 I didn't, um... 246 00:12:55,321 --> 00:12:57,156 Mummies are human. 247 00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,543 Stupid... oh, crap. 248 00:13:09,794 --> 00:13:11,794 I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I... I will clean this up. 249 00:13:11,838 --> 00:13:14,549 I am not a litterer, I... I... I assure you that. 250 00:13:14,632 --> 00:13:17,844 Do you, um... do you think you could call a car for me, please? 251 00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,304 Thank you. Thank you. 252 00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:23,516 Bring the car around. 253 00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:25,244 God, is that someone's retainer? 254 00:13:25,268 --> 00:13:27,520 I've never said the right thing one time around her. 255 00:13:27,603 --> 00:13:29,772 I get nervous because she opens her mouth, 256 00:13:29,856 --> 00:13:34,027 and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness comes out, and I just never say... 257 00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:35,528 You know she's trying to kill me? 258 00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:37,864 I just need those tomatoes. 259 00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:40,199 You're right. No, you're right. 260 00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,951 I should apologize. Thank you, man. 261 00:13:42,035 --> 00:13:44,155 - I appreciate that very, very much. - You're welcome. 262 00:13:54,297 --> 00:13:56,299 Uh, Loretta sage. Yeah. 263 00:14:04,098 --> 00:14:05,099 Hiya. 264 00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:07,060 Uh, I did not order an uberpool. 265 00:14:07,143 --> 00:14:10,146 Someone wants to meet you. We'll have you right back. 266 00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:16,069 Loretta! 267 00:14:16,152 --> 00:14:17,528 Loretta! Loretta? 268 00:14:20,656 --> 00:14:21,696 Uh, Loretta? 269 00:14:22,617 --> 00:14:24,452 - Did you say "Loretta"? - Yeah. 270 00:14:25,244 --> 00:14:26,537 - Follow that SUV, man. - No. 271 00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:27,848 - Come on, please! - No, no, no. 272 00:14:27,872 --> 00:14:31,584 I'm not helping any more handsome strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm. 273 00:14:32,168 --> 00:14:34,879 What is this, taken? Am I "tooken"? 274 00:14:34,962 --> 00:14:36,506 Am I sold already? 275 00:14:36,589 --> 00:14:39,634 Am I... Am I sold to him? 276 00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:42,637 - Ow. Stop. - Oh, no. Did this fee! Creepy? 277 00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:46,057 I said don't make it creepy, guys. 278 00:14:46,641 --> 00:14:48,184 I'm so sorry about the setting. 279 00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,812 I just flew in. I was in a real panic to meet you. 280 00:14:50,895 --> 00:14:53,022 I didn't have time to dress the place up much. 281 00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:55,900 I read you love cheese, so I just got them all. 282 00:14:55,983 --> 00:14:59,821 Are you the one who's been emailing me for photos of my feet? 283 00:14:59,904 --> 00:15:01,697 No, um... 284 00:15:01,781 --> 00:15:06,035 And I promise what I'm about to show you is gonna make you very happy. 285 00:15:06,911 --> 00:15:10,873 But first, a little bit about the mysterious rogue you see before you. 286 00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:14,085 Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax. 287 00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:15,169 Abigail? 288 00:15:15,253 --> 00:15:17,231 It's a gender-neutral name, like Leslie or Beverly. 289 00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:20,633 Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax of the media-mogul fairfaxes? 290 00:15:21,592 --> 00:15:25,096 Didn't you just take over your company or... 291 00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:29,142 No, that was my brother, actually. That was Leslie. We're all very proud. 292 00:15:29,225 --> 00:15:32,186 Ah, yes, I should say so, at such a young age to... 293 00:15:32,270 --> 00:15:34,230 Some might even say too young. 294 00:15:34,313 --> 00:15:37,024 But that world never really interested me. 295 00:15:37,108 --> 00:15:39,861 My passions, as you may know, 296 00:15:39,944 --> 00:15:42,905 lie in the hidden things in the world, 297 00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:45,616 things which defy possession. 298 00:15:46,492 --> 00:15:48,995 Some might call me a collector. 299 00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:52,748 But there is one obsession in particular 300 00:15:52,832 --> 00:15:54,709 that has held me captive. 301 00:15:55,877 --> 00:15:57,503 The crown of fire 302 00:15:57,587 --> 00:16:00,089 and its cascading red diamonds. 303 00:16:00,173 --> 00:16:01,382 Is this a... 304 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:03,801 Is this a hidden-camera thing? 305 00:16:03,885 --> 00:16:07,430 So imagine my surprise when, in your new book, 306 00:16:07,513 --> 00:16:10,683 amidst the pages of coital reverie, 307 00:16:10,766 --> 00:16:11,767 was something... 308 00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,936 - Oh, god. - Quite magnificent. 309 00:16:15,813 --> 00:16:17,857 I get it. I get it. I so get it right now. 310 00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:19,817 Oh, my gosh. 311 00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:21,861 I literally thought you guys kidnapped me. 312 00:16:21,944 --> 00:16:24,697 I... I mean, this is marketing, right? Beth set this up? 313 00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:27,700 This was so good, you guys. This was amazing. 314 00:16:27,783 --> 00:16:31,120 You, with your gun and your mustache 315 00:16:31,204 --> 00:16:33,998 and your, "you'd better get in there" and you know... 316 00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:36,876 Oh, my god. 317 00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:40,922 You, with the gi. Joe tone-on-tone outfit. 318 00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:45,843 Your fictional archaeologist was making real translations of a dead language. 319 00:16:45,927 --> 00:16:46,761 Mm-hmm. 320 00:16:46,844 --> 00:16:48,846 Something nobody else has been able to do. 321 00:16:48,930 --> 00:16:51,265 Well, nobody else had ever tried. 322 00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,226 Is that right? Am I saying the right thing? 323 00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:54,936 Except you, right? 324 00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:56,938 Except me! 325 00:16:57,522 --> 00:16:58,940 Yes. See, it turns out 326 00:16:59,023 --> 00:17:02,443 Loretta sage was once a young college girl doing her dissertation 327 00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:05,404 on the dead language of the d with her future husband, 328 00:17:05,488 --> 00:17:08,658 dreaming of finding kalaman's tomb and the crown of fire. 329 00:17:08,741 --> 00:17:11,702 I was sorry to read you gave up your search after he died. 330 00:17:11,786 --> 00:17:13,079 But what that means is, 331 00:17:14,664 --> 00:17:16,582 you're all I have left. 332 00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,669 All you have left for... what? 333 00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,258 Here we go. 334 00:17:39,647 --> 00:17:40,856 What is this? 335 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:45,319 I believe it is describing the exact location of kalaman's tomb, 336 00:17:45,403 --> 00:17:48,781 in which taha and her priceless headdress are buried. 337 00:17:48,864 --> 00:17:51,075 Well, if this were authentic, 338 00:17:51,158 --> 00:17:56,372 you would still have to uncover an entire city... 339 00:17:56,455 --> 00:17:59,542 That nobody has been able to find. 340 00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:00,876 I found it. 341 00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:04,755 On a tiny, forgotten island in the Atlantic called Isla hundida. 342 00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:08,342 What I have not been able to find is kalaman's final resting place. 343 00:18:08,426 --> 00:18:12,013 This piece of parchment is the only clue we found among the ruins. 344 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,600 I need someone who can decipher these symbols. 345 00:18:16,392 --> 00:18:17,810 I need you. 346 00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,605 - Well... - Miss sage, 347 00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:24,191 surely this isn't how you want your story to end. 348 00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,819 We both had our dreams crushed by bad luck, 349 00:18:26,902 --> 00:18:29,280 or in my case, an arse-kissing little brother, 350 00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:31,741 but this is our chance to show them all. 351 00:18:32,325 --> 00:18:34,160 Come with me... to the island. 352 00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:39,248 Translate these symbols and help me find the crown of fire. 353 00:18:39,832 --> 00:18:41,834 You can name your price. 354 00:18:44,629 --> 00:18:47,131 I must respectfully decline. 355 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,262 Well... 356 00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,932 I can't say I'm not disappointed. 357 00:18:57,808 --> 00:19:00,186 But I understand how you feel. 358 00:19:03,898 --> 00:19:05,816 Will you at least let us give you a ride? 359 00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:09,028 Oh, no, thank you. I'll call for my own car, and I'll just... 360 00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,570 I don't feel like you're listening to me. 361 00:19:33,594 --> 00:19:34,929 This is urgent, and we... 362 00:19:35,596 --> 00:19:38,349 Okay, so the police are saying that they put out an apb... 363 00:19:38,432 --> 00:19:40,267 - Apb. - On an SUV, 364 00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:42,687 - and there's this 24-hour rule... - Why is there a rule? 365 00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:45,165 - And they won't do anything until... - What about the FBI or the CIA? 366 00:19:45,189 --> 00:19:47,250 - They said to call the police. - I'm sure Loretta's fine. 367 00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:49,819 When I was in college, my friend Nicki went missing. 368 00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:51,487 Everyone was, like, freaking out. 369 00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:54,031 But then she was just in her car. 370 00:19:54,115 --> 00:19:57,368 She was dead, but we found her. She wasn't gone. 371 00:19:57,451 --> 00:20:01,706 Um, what about... maybe we could get a pi 372 00:20:01,789 --> 00:20:04,500 or, like, you know, private security or... 373 00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,502 What about an extraction team, like the movie? 374 00:20:06,585 --> 00:20:09,004 But who does that? The ex-military, right? 375 00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:11,632 Oh, yeah. I think I actually have somebody that could help us. 376 00:20:11,716 --> 00:20:14,677 - Oh. - I did this, uh, this meditation retreat, 377 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,345 and there was this trainer guy there. 378 00:20:16,429 --> 00:20:18,472 You should see this guy meditate. 379 00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:19,890 But he's ex-Navy seal. 380 00:20:19,974 --> 00:20:23,686 He's a special ops trainer. What was his name? 381 00:20:24,478 --> 00:20:25,521 Yeah. Jack trainer. 382 00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,231 So he's a trainer named Jack trainer? 383 00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:29,775 That's how I have everybody in my phone. See, "Janice mom." 384 00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:31,444 "Larry doorknob." "Stacy butt stuff.“ 385 00:20:31,527 --> 00:20:34,238 look, this is what this guy does. He finds people. 386 00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:36,532 If there's anybody that can help us, it's him. 387 00:20:43,539 --> 00:20:46,101 - Jack trainer. - Oh, so his name is actually Jack trainer. 388 00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:49,754 Hi, uh, this is Alan from "touching your inner self." 389 00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,215 The meditation retreat? 390 00:20:54,759 --> 00:20:58,095 Anyway, okay. Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped, 391 00:20:58,179 --> 00:20:59,555 and no one's helping us. 392 00:20:59,638 --> 00:21:01,056 How long she been missing? 393 00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:02,558 Maybe two hours now. 394 00:21:02,641 --> 00:21:03,768 Who is that? 395 00:21:03,851 --> 00:21:07,605 Um, this is be... this is Beth. I'm Beth. 396 00:21:08,272 --> 00:21:10,608 And Allison is on too, sir. 397 00:21:10,691 --> 00:21:12,985 Did she have any I/I/i-fi-enabled devices? 398 00:21:13,068 --> 00:21:15,988 - She's got her phone, right? - No, I have her phone. 399 00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:18,866 Oh! She has a smartwatch. It ripped my wig off. 400 00:21:18,949 --> 00:21:21,702 What was that scenario? Never mind. Open the phone. 401 00:21:21,786 --> 00:21:23,346 - Go to the smartwatch app. - All right. 402 00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:25,790 Then hit ”find my smartwatch. ” 403 00:21:25,873 --> 00:21:28,834 Oh, my... that is so good. That's why we called. 404 00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:31,504 '54ntic/pate the difficult by managing the easy. ” 405 00:21:31,587 --> 00:21:35,049 - Is that Oprah or deepak? - Laozi from tao-te ching. 406 00:21:35,132 --> 00:21:36,425 Oh, my god. 407 00:21:37,051 --> 00:21:38,385 It's in the Atlantic. 408 00:21:38,469 --> 00:21:40,763 - She's on a plane? - How can you tell that? 409 00:21:41,472 --> 00:21:43,098 'Cause she can't swim that fast. 410 00:21:43,182 --> 00:21:44,725 Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario. 411 00:21:44,809 --> 00:21:47,436 My guess is blood sport, hunger games -type situation. 412 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,356 Possibly some coke-fueled dark web scavenger hunt. 413 00:21:50,439 --> 00:21:52,525 Real clown shit. We '/I have to move fast 414 00:21:52,608 --> 00:21:55,569 - how do we pay you? - Cryptocurrenc y. Cash app. 415 00:21:55,653 --> 00:21:58,906 I'i/ have her back within 48 hours or your next rescue is free. 416 00:21:58,989 --> 00:22:00,491 How many people need a next rescue? 417 00:22:00,574 --> 00:22:01,909 More than you'd think. 418 00:22:01,992 --> 00:22:04,221 - I'm gonna need that phone. - I... I'll bring it to you. 419 00:22:04,245 --> 00:22:06,747 Let me know where she lands. I'i/ meet you there, Alan. 420 00:22:21,762 --> 00:22:22,805 Hello. 421 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,769 Where am I? 422 00:22:28,853 --> 00:22:30,896 Um, you're on my plane. 423 00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:32,273 It's nice, isn't it? 424 00:22:32,356 --> 00:22:34,191 The seats are made of mama llama leather. 425 00:22:34,275 --> 00:22:37,236 Well, I'm getting off your plane. 426 00:22:37,319 --> 00:22:38,821 Unchain me! 427 00:22:38,904 --> 00:22:40,322 That's your seat belt. 428 00:22:40,990 --> 00:22:44,994 Did you chloroform me? People actually do that? 429 00:22:47,788 --> 00:22:50,124 Well, you know, it's a classic for a reason. 430 00:22:50,207 --> 00:22:52,334 My body feels drunk. 431 00:22:52,418 --> 00:22:54,336 It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry. 432 00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:56,672 I just couldn't wait around for you to change your mind. 433 00:22:56,755 --> 00:22:59,341 - Stop playing jelly. - Time is not on our side. 434 00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:04,221 The volcano we're excavating around has developed a bad case of indigestion. 435 00:23:04,805 --> 00:23:06,241 I'm rather worried that when it blows, 436 00:23:06,265 --> 00:23:08,451 everything that's left of the lost city will be destroyed. 437 00:23:08,475 --> 00:23:10,394 Oh, my god. My legs don't work. 438 00:23:10,477 --> 00:23:15,858 So, this is our last chance to find both the tomb and the crown. 439 00:23:15,941 --> 00:23:18,027 - Oh, god. - Oh! 440 00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:20,487 Don't worry. That's just our final descent. 441 00:23:21,071 --> 00:23:26,327 But it is the beginning of the greatest adventure of your life. 442 00:24:35,104 --> 00:24:36,939 Welcome to the lost city. 443 00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,283 How did you find it? 444 00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:50,619 So, the city was built on a lava dome. 445 00:24:50,703 --> 00:24:53,372 As the volcano became active, the dome filled with lava, 446 00:24:53,455 --> 00:24:55,958 and sunken things Rose to the surface. 447 00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:57,960 The d exposed itself. 448 00:24:58,544 --> 00:25:01,338 - The entire city? - No, no. Just the tip. 449 00:25:01,422 --> 00:25:04,508 As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins, I flew over and bought the place. 450 00:25:04,591 --> 00:25:07,302 - The site? - No. The island. 451 00:25:07,386 --> 00:25:10,305 The southern half. I got a good deal 'cause this is where the lava flows. 452 00:25:10,389 --> 00:25:12,558 We've been excavating for a year now. 453 00:25:13,642 --> 00:25:16,270 One doesn't kidnap a romance novelist on day one. 454 00:25:16,353 --> 00:25:18,439 Yes, as the saying goes. 455 00:25:18,522 --> 00:25:21,608 Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, rafi? 456 00:25:21,692 --> 00:25:24,945 He says we're disrespecting his heritage. 457 00:25:25,029 --> 00:25:28,157 But not a lot of other job options on the island, are there, rafi? 458 00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,075 Beggars can't be choosers. 459 00:25:40,127 --> 00:25:41,920 No more charcuterie, I take it. 460 00:25:42,004 --> 00:25:44,214 Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster. 461 00:25:44,298 --> 00:25:45,841 Whatever you need, just shout. 462 00:25:47,217 --> 00:25:52,347 Uh, leave one hand free. She has some translating to do. 463 00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:54,725 And then what? 464 00:25:55,309 --> 00:25:57,644 Loretta, I really wish you would try and see 465 00:25:57,728 --> 00:25:59,938 what an exciting opportunity this is for us. 466 00:26:00,022 --> 00:26:03,734 I believe this text describes the exact location of the tomb. 467 00:26:04,318 --> 00:26:06,195 It's a iogographic system. 468 00:26:07,154 --> 00:26:09,907 Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics. 469 00:26:10,491 --> 00:26:13,744 Now, if you have other documents that possibly I can compare... 470 00:26:13,827 --> 00:26:14,912 Yeah, no luck there. 471 00:26:14,995 --> 00:26:17,915 We found some scratching at a nearby waterfall, 472 00:26:17,998 --> 00:26:18,999 but it was useless. 473 00:26:19,083 --> 00:26:20,417 Just pictures of women. 474 00:26:20,501 --> 00:26:25,380 Look, I, too, wish your dear old dead archaeologist husband 475 00:26:25,464 --> 00:26:28,175 was here to help, but he's not, so, 476 00:26:28,258 --> 00:26:31,136 time to shine, Loretta, sex-book writer. 477 00:26:32,679 --> 00:26:34,306 They will come for me. 478 00:26:34,973 --> 00:26:36,767 Who, exactly? 479 00:26:36,850 --> 00:26:38,560 Your many cats? 480 00:26:38,644 --> 00:26:40,354 Oh, I don't have cats. 481 00:26:41,105 --> 00:26:42,940 Somehow even more sad. 482 00:26:43,023 --> 00:26:46,026 I have a hamster, asshole! 483 00:26:46,110 --> 00:26:47,945 You have a hamster's asshole? 484 00:26:48,028 --> 00:26:50,322 No, there was a... There was a... a com... 485 00:26:50,405 --> 00:26:51,841 There was a comma between... forget it. 486 00:26:51,865 --> 00:26:54,868 I bet your brother never had to kidnap anyone! 487 00:27:26,775 --> 00:27:30,195 J” from the dusty mesa j” 488 00:27:30,279 --> 00:27:34,741 j” her looming shadow grows j” 489 00:27:34,825 --> 00:27:38,162 j” hidden in the branches j” 490 00:27:38,245 --> 00:27:41,999 j” of the poison creosote j” 491 00:27:45,836 --> 00:27:47,379 good to see you, man. 492 00:27:47,462 --> 00:27:48,964 - Phone. - Right. 493 00:28:01,143 --> 00:28:02,144 What? 494 00:28:02,227 --> 00:28:06,607 Yeah, I was thinking that I could maybe just sort of come with you. 495 00:28:07,191 --> 00:28:08,650 - Why? - To help. 496 00:28:08,734 --> 00:28:12,738 I know cpr. I know some light karate. Crossfit certified. 497 00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:14,072 Okay, listen, listen! 498 00:28:15,282 --> 00:28:16,950 I just... it's my fault. 499 00:28:17,034 --> 00:28:19,411 Not the kidnapping and stuff, 500 00:28:19,995 --> 00:28:22,414 but I said some really mean stuff to her, and I regret it, 501 00:28:22,497 --> 00:28:23,957 and I just need to take it back. 502 00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:25,375 I called her a human mummy. 503 00:28:26,835 --> 00:28:28,086 Mummies are human. 504 00:28:28,795 --> 00:28:31,465 I'm aware of that now, yes. 505 00:28:31,548 --> 00:28:34,468 That is true. 506 00:28:34,551 --> 00:28:35,552 Please. 507 00:28:37,095 --> 00:28:39,473 All right, Alan, I can't be responsible for you. 508 00:28:40,557 --> 00:28:41,558 Okay. Yeah. 509 00:28:41,642 --> 00:28:43,894 - I need you to stay in the car. - Yeah. 510 00:28:44,686 --> 00:28:46,855 - In the car. - In the car. 511 00:28:46,939 --> 00:28:49,316 - The whole time. - The whole time? 512 00:28:49,399 --> 00:28:50,734 Whole time. 513 00:28:50,817 --> 00:28:51,818 Mm-hmm. 514 00:28:53,820 --> 00:28:54,821 Yes! 515 00:29:01,036 --> 00:29:03,205 This is me. 516 00:29:04,331 --> 00:29:06,708 Really? Is this what the seal teams use? 517 00:29:06,792 --> 00:29:09,419 "Only a fool chooses a horse by its color." 518 00:29:10,003 --> 00:29:12,297 Right, right. The tao-te ching? 519 00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:15,300 No, it was on the sign back there at the rental place. 520 00:29:24,142 --> 00:29:25,142 Thank you. 521 00:29:30,023 --> 00:29:35,862 J” / once had a life or rather, life had me j” 522 00:29:35,946 --> 00:29:38,907 j” / was one among many j” 523 00:29:38,991 --> 00:29:42,577 j” or at least / seemed to be j” 524 00:29:42,661 --> 00:29:49,459 j” well, lread an old quotation in a book just yesterday j” 525 00:29:49,543 --> 00:29:52,337 j” said, ”gonna reap just what you sowj” 526 00:29:52,421 --> 00:29:55,924 j” the debts you make, you have to pa y”j” 527 00:29:56,008 --> 00:29:57,217 j” can you get to that? J” 528 00:29:58,051 --> 00:29:59,344 what? What? 529 00:30:01,888 --> 00:30:03,932 I was hoping to invite you to breakfast, 530 00:30:04,016 --> 00:30:06,351 but it looks like you still have work to do. 531 00:30:07,602 --> 00:30:08,770 Uh, wait, wait, wait. 532 00:30:09,354 --> 00:30:10,897 Wait. Wait, wait, wait. 533 00:30:10,981 --> 00:30:13,025 I believe this says 534 00:30:13,108 --> 00:30:15,152 "rest" or "resting." 535 00:30:15,736 --> 00:30:18,363 So it would be, "kalaman and his treasure..." 536 00:30:18,447 --> 00:30:22,868 And then there are some missing pieces, and then "rest," "resting," 537 00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:25,954 and something about "tears," so... 538 00:30:27,998 --> 00:30:29,041 Resting where? 539 00:30:29,124 --> 00:30:33,253 Hmm? Oh! Didn't... didn't say. It doesn't say. 540 00:30:34,629 --> 00:30:37,674 Miss sage, I need you to do better. 541 00:30:37,758 --> 00:30:41,178 Then next time maybe don't kidnap a romance novelist, hmm? 542 00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:43,555 My god, this shouldn't be this hard! 543 00:30:43,638 --> 00:30:45,599 It is not some pauper's grave we're looking for. 544 00:30:45,682 --> 00:30:48,060 It is a monument to a great man! 545 00:30:48,143 --> 00:30:50,103 King kalaman was ambitious, he was powerful, 546 00:30:50,187 --> 00:30:52,564 he was the first man to build a city in the Atlantic. 547 00:30:52,647 --> 00:30:55,275 The eyes of his subjects would have turned to him. 548 00:30:55,359 --> 00:31:00,697 He would have had a pyramid, a ziggurat, a tower to hold his crown of fire. 549 00:31:00,781 --> 00:31:02,699 All I need to know is where it is. 550 00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:06,912 I don't know if you recall, but you only said translate it. 551 00:31:06,995 --> 00:31:08,872 I... I... I translated it. 552 00:31:09,915 --> 00:31:11,416 Translate it again. 553 00:31:17,422 --> 00:31:19,216 One day, we're gonna laugh about this. 554 00:31:20,384 --> 00:31:22,302 Such an adventure we're having. 555 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,851 I should go with you, just for backup and awesomeness. 556 00:31:30,852 --> 00:31:32,687 This is pretty awesome. 557 00:31:32,771 --> 00:31:35,315 You got nature, the radio. 558 00:31:36,566 --> 00:31:39,903 Yeah, you're right, but it's very, very important to me 559 00:31:39,986 --> 00:31:42,072 that she knows that I came to rescue her. 560 00:31:42,155 --> 00:31:43,782 Why? Do you like this woman? 561 00:31:44,991 --> 00:31:47,327 No, I just brought snacks and stuff. 562 00:31:47,411 --> 00:31:49,663 She gets a little grumpy when she's hungry. 563 00:31:49,746 --> 00:31:53,083 Blood pressure drops. And I get that because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy. 564 00:31:53,166 --> 00:31:55,585 Do you keto, by the way? You look like you keto. 565 00:31:55,669 --> 00:31:58,422 - No. - No. No. Yeah. 566 00:31:58,505 --> 00:32:01,007 - You don't need it. - What is it? 567 00:32:01,091 --> 00:32:04,761 I just want her to think of me as more than a cover model. 568 00:32:05,345 --> 00:32:09,182 But, Alan, you are so much more. You're my lookout. 569 00:32:09,266 --> 00:32:12,519 Okay, can I at least do the part where I put her in the car 570 00:32:12,602 --> 00:32:16,022 and I just go, "shh. You're safe now“? 571 00:32:17,399 --> 00:32:19,443 Sure, champ. She'll love that. 572 00:32:19,526 --> 00:32:23,738 Oh, um, you're just going? Going to start? You're starting the mission now? Okay. 573 00:32:48,054 --> 00:32:50,015 Oh! 574 00:32:53,935 --> 00:32:54,936 Whoa! 575 00:32:59,274 --> 00:33:00,692 Go to sleep. 576 00:33:02,777 --> 00:33:04,988 J” go across the tracks j” 577 00:33:06,781 --> 00:33:11,077 j” where the viaduct looms like a bird of doom j” 578 00:33:11,161 --> 00:33:14,706 j” as it shifts and cracks j” 579 00:33:15,332 --> 00:33:19,711 j” where secrets lie in the border fires... j” 580 00:33:21,171 --> 00:33:24,382 J” hey, man, you know you're never coming back j” 581 00:33:24,466 --> 00:33:26,635 j” past the square, past the bridge j” 582 00:33:26,718 --> 00:33:29,596 j” past the mills, past the stacks... j” 583 00:33:29,679 --> 00:33:30,948 - Alan. - What? 584 00:33:30,972 --> 00:33:32,724 This is a breach of trust, Alan. 585 00:33:32,807 --> 00:33:34,434 I can help. Let me help. 586 00:33:37,729 --> 00:33:40,023 Stay close. Stay alive. 587 00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:46,320 Hey. 588 00:33:50,742 --> 00:33:52,702 Shh. Go to sleep. 589 00:33:55,497 --> 00:33:56,581 I got his head. 590 00:33:56,665 --> 00:33:59,042 What do I do with his head? I'm just gonna set him down. 591 00:34:07,092 --> 00:34:08,510 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, no! 592 00:34:08,593 --> 00:34:09,678 No, no, no, no, no! 593 00:34:10,762 --> 00:34:14,307 J” there won't be a single thing that you can do j” 594 00:34:14,391 --> 00:34:17,227 j” heis agod, he's a man heis a ghost, he's a guru j” 595 00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:18,395 ooh, yeah! 596 00:34:18,478 --> 00:34:20,230 Ooh! Ow! 597 00:34:20,313 --> 00:34:22,023 Teamwork, yeah! 598 00:34:22,107 --> 00:34:25,318 Great effort, Alan, but that man was already unconscious. 599 00:34:25,944 --> 00:34:26,987 I was already wound up. 600 00:34:28,154 --> 00:34:29,864 Just don't do it when I'm... 601 00:34:38,331 --> 00:34:39,791 Oh! 602 00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:41,876 On your seven! 603 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:47,882 Oh! 604 00:34:52,887 --> 00:34:54,889 Trainer. Trainer, he's not asleep! 605 00:34:54,973 --> 00:34:56,850 Stay down. Stay down. 606 00:34:59,686 --> 00:35:02,147 - You're doing great. - Thanks. 607 00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:03,523 Where you going? 608 00:35:04,065 --> 00:35:06,735 J” through the ghettos and the barrio j” 609 00:35:06,818 --> 00:35:08,194 j” and the bowery and the slums j” 610 00:35:08,278 --> 00:35:09,279 what? 611 00:35:11,823 --> 00:35:13,116 Loretta sage? 612 00:35:13,783 --> 00:35:14,784 Yes. 613 00:35:15,410 --> 00:35:16,530 I'm getting you out of here. 614 00:35:17,495 --> 00:35:20,540 - Why are you so handsome? - My dad was a weatherman. 615 00:35:22,876 --> 00:35:23,793 A-Alan? 616 00:35:23,877 --> 00:35:25,670 - Yeah. - What are you doing here? 617 00:35:26,379 --> 00:35:28,965 - I... irregardless, I'm here to save you. - That's not... 618 00:35:29,049 --> 00:35:31,092 - I think he meant "regardless." - Yes. 619 00:35:33,386 --> 00:35:35,472 Ooh, uh, does she need saving in there, trainer? 620 00:35:35,555 --> 00:35:36,848 I think she's fine there. 621 00:35:36,931 --> 00:35:39,291 No, leave it. Don't take their stuff. They'll come after us. 622 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,230 Alan, why do you keep doing that? 623 00:35:44,314 --> 00:35:46,232 Why do you keep doing that? I had that one. 624 00:35:46,316 --> 00:35:48,860 It's just getting mean now. It's unnecessary. 625 00:35:48,943 --> 00:35:50,654 I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in. 626 00:35:50,737 --> 00:35:53,097 Excuse me. Would it be possible to remove me from the chair? 627 00:35:53,156 --> 00:35:54,908 - No time. - No time? 628 00:35:54,991 --> 00:35:56,302 There's been so much chitchat. 629 00:35:56,326 --> 00:35:57,744 We should definitely go. 630 00:35:57,827 --> 00:35:58,888 Let's go! Let's go! 631 00:36:02,791 --> 00:36:06,878 J” 80 baby, take my hand /t'// be all right j” 632 00:36:06,961 --> 00:36:11,049 j” the y'i/ come true in the end j” 633 00:36:25,146 --> 00:36:26,481 Why are things exploding? 634 00:36:34,030 --> 00:36:35,031 I got... 635 00:36:36,866 --> 00:36:38,702 Okay. 636 00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:40,161 Shh... 637 00:36:40,245 --> 00:36:42,163 Shh. You're safe now. 638 00:36:42,247 --> 00:36:43,456 You're... 639 00:36:43,540 --> 00:36:45,750 How... how are you so calm? 640 00:36:45,834 --> 00:36:48,169 - That was my... that was my line. - Here. 641 00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:52,257 - What? - Is that reiki? 642 00:36:52,340 --> 00:36:54,968 - Are you healing me? - I think so. 643 00:36:55,051 --> 00:36:56,052 Ah. 644 00:36:56,136 --> 00:36:58,263 As laozi says, "to the mind that is still..." 645 00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:00,098 "The whole universe surrenders." 646 00:37:00,181 --> 00:37:03,977 Yeah, I know some quotes that could be good for this moment. 647 00:37:04,060 --> 00:37:05,687 In omnia paratus. 648 00:37:06,813 --> 00:37:08,231 "Ready for anything." 649 00:37:08,982 --> 00:37:11,609 Maybe we shouldn't be just staring lovingly into each other's eyes 650 00:37:11,693 --> 00:37:13,421 like you're gonna fall in love and I'm not... 651 00:37:13,445 --> 00:37:14,821 Like I'm... like I'm not here. 652 00:37:15,405 --> 00:37:16,448 Who are you? 653 00:37:16,531 --> 00:37:18,658 Just a guy trying to do his job. 654 00:37:19,492 --> 00:37:22,078 Right now, that job is to get this lovely lady... 655 00:37:22,746 --> 00:37:24,581 Oh! Oh. 656 00:37:24,664 --> 00:37:28,293 Oh, god. Okay. 657 00:37:28,376 --> 00:37:29,753 What is happening? 658 00:37:33,339 --> 00:37:35,383 - Oh! - Okay. What do we do? 659 00:37:35,467 --> 00:37:37,635 We need to do... I can't see. 660 00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:39,053 I don't like it! 661 00:37:39,137 --> 00:37:40,346 Here. Here! 662 00:37:40,847 --> 00:37:43,141 - Why would you throw a gun? - Seriously? 663 00:37:44,851 --> 00:37:47,520 - Get me out of the chair. - I can't. We don't have time. 664 00:37:47,604 --> 00:37:49,397 Oh! 665 00:37:51,274 --> 00:37:53,294 Gotta squeeze! You got to do a kegel or something! 666 00:37:53,318 --> 00:37:55,612 - Kegel it! - What do you think a kegel is? 667 00:37:56,196 --> 00:37:58,114 I'm not in it, not in! Still not in! 668 00:37:58,198 --> 00:38:00,492 - You got to go in more. - Stop. Stop. Stop it! 669 00:38:01,785 --> 00:38:02,827 Oh, oh, oh! 670 00:38:02,911 --> 00:38:06,164 Oh, god. Get in the car, get in the car! Start the car! Start the car! 671 00:38:06,247 --> 00:38:07,499 - Go, go. - Move your leg. 672 00:38:07,582 --> 00:38:09,876 - Which one? - Both of them! Move them! 673 00:38:12,128 --> 00:38:13,755 Whoa. 674 00:38:13,838 --> 00:38:15,840 - Fonnard, fonnard! - Okay. Okay. 675 00:38:15,924 --> 00:38:20,053 - I'm going! I'm going! Okay! - Drive! 676 00:38:21,471 --> 00:38:24,140 Shh. You're safe now. Shh. 677 00:38:27,769 --> 00:38:30,188 - Shh. You're safe now. - No, I'm not. Not safe. 678 00:38:30,271 --> 00:38:32,190 Oh, no, am I bleeding? 679 00:38:32,273 --> 00:38:35,151 - I don't think that's yours. - Oh, that's a lot of blood. 680 00:38:35,235 --> 00:38:36,444 Ha! Uh-oh! 681 00:38:36,528 --> 00:38:38,363 Cheese and rice! 682 00:38:38,446 --> 00:38:40,073 - Are those his brains? - What? 683 00:38:40,156 --> 00:38:42,158 I think his brains are on my face! 684 00:38:42,242 --> 00:38:45,829 Definitely his brains are in my mouth. I can taste his thoughts! 685 00:38:45,912 --> 00:38:47,205 Focus on the road. 686 00:38:47,288 --> 00:38:49,499 He just liked training people. Trainer. 687 00:38:49,582 --> 00:38:52,460 - What are you talking about? - He loved me. 688 00:38:52,544 --> 00:38:55,088 Can you just scooch the car over to the left? 689 00:38:55,171 --> 00:38:58,800 - Uh, get it off. Get it off. - Oh, god. Oh. 690 00:38:58,883 --> 00:38:59,968 Watch out! 691 00:39:05,723 --> 00:39:07,392 Oh! Oh! 692 00:39:09,477 --> 00:39:10,812 Oh, did you see... 693 00:39:23,408 --> 00:39:25,535 Oh, no. Oh, no. 694 00:39:26,244 --> 00:39:27,579 Oh, no. 695 00:39:36,129 --> 00:39:37,505 Oh, no. 696 00:39:38,214 --> 00:39:39,674 - Alan? - [Gasps} 697 00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:44,095 oh, holy Christmas. Are you okay? Are you okay? 698 00:39:44,178 --> 00:39:46,097 Do you think you could get me out of here? 699 00:39:46,180 --> 00:39:47,891 Yeah. Um, okay. 700 00:39:47,974 --> 00:39:50,894 - You just flew out of the car. - I did. I did, indeed. 701 00:39:50,977 --> 00:39:52,520 Okay. I got you. I got you. 702 00:39:52,604 --> 00:39:55,023 Can you get me out of the chair? Get me out of the chair. 703 00:39:55,106 --> 00:39:56,746 You're right. You're right. You're right. 704 00:39:58,318 --> 00:40:00,153 - Is that a nail filer? - Yeah. 705 00:40:00,236 --> 00:40:01,714 - Can you just rip it? - It's working. 706 00:40:01,738 --> 00:40:05,742 And maybe next time I toss a gun at you, you can catch it instead of ducking. 707 00:40:05,825 --> 00:40:08,912 How about the next time you toss a gun at me, you say, "hey, Alan, catch"? 708 00:40:08,995 --> 00:40:10,872 Then maybe do that before you throw it? 709 00:40:10,955 --> 00:40:13,166 Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch." 710 00:40:13,249 --> 00:40:16,920 - No, "here" is not a cinnamon for "catch." - In a colloquial kind of way, yes, it is. 711 00:40:17,003 --> 00:40:21,299 You say, "here," I toss you a sweatshirt. You say, "here," I toss you a pen. 712 00:40:21,382 --> 00:40:23,968 How 'boutjust, "hey! Catch! Gun!" 713 00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:27,639 Anything that you want to throw, I'll catch it because you said, "catch.“ 714 00:40:27,722 --> 00:40:29,349 and I'll catch it because you said it. 715 00:40:29,432 --> 00:40:31,893 That is also an option, and then we would have a gun with us. 716 00:40:31,976 --> 00:40:33,144 That's a thing. 717 00:40:33,853 --> 00:40:35,438 - Be careful. - Okay, we need to call... 718 00:40:35,521 --> 00:40:36,856 Be careful. 719 00:40:36,940 --> 00:40:39,859 We need to call for help, get to the airport and get out of here. 720 00:40:39,943 --> 00:40:41,736 - And I am driving. - Okay. 721 00:40:43,738 --> 00:40:47,450 Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 722 00:40:56,668 --> 00:40:58,294 Okay, call for... call for help. 723 00:40:59,253 --> 00:41:00,755 Wh... where's your phone? 724 00:41:04,258 --> 00:41:05,259 Okay. 725 00:41:09,055 --> 00:41:11,349 - Tell me you caught them. - I tagged the blond one. 726 00:41:13,434 --> 00:41:16,270 Oh, Loretta. 727 00:41:16,354 --> 00:41:18,731 What are you thinking? 728 00:41:18,815 --> 00:41:21,734 You might've killed one of them, but his partner's still with her. 729 00:41:21,818 --> 00:41:25,405 And he is clearly skilled, highly trained 730 00:41:26,447 --> 00:41:27,991 and very dangerous. 731 00:41:38,001 --> 00:41:42,130 So, miss sage said she was gonna leave the event, 732 00:41:42,213 --> 00:41:46,509 then got in a car and left the event? 733 00:41:47,135 --> 00:41:49,637 - Did you try calling her? - She doesn't have her phone. 734 00:41:49,721 --> 00:41:51,264 - Stolen phone. - Didn't say that. 735 00:41:51,848 --> 00:41:53,307 Where's my magnifier? 736 00:41:53,391 --> 00:41:54,868 Listen, can you please help with Nana? 737 00:41:54,892 --> 00:41:57,204 I don't want her hearing about Loretta 'cause it's going to upset her. 738 00:41:57,228 --> 00:42:00,732 - What about Loretta? - Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip. 739 00:42:00,815 --> 00:42:02,191 - Good. - Yeah. 740 00:42:02,775 --> 00:42:04,944 That girl needed to get out of the house. 741 00:42:05,028 --> 00:42:09,198 So, this is the thing. Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it. 742 00:42:09,282 --> 00:42:13,661 I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave it to the trainer, uh, Jack trainer. 743 00:42:13,745 --> 00:42:15,913 And that is how we found her wearable. 744 00:42:15,997 --> 00:42:17,874 - And who's Alan? - Dash. 745 00:42:17,957 --> 00:42:20,626 - What's that? - He's the hero in all of her books. 746 00:42:20,710 --> 00:42:21,710 Nana. 747 00:42:21,753 --> 00:42:24,005 - Hey, slut. - Mm-mmm. 748 00:42:24,088 --> 00:42:27,050 Let's go in the other room and talk about whichever war you lived through. 749 00:42:27,133 --> 00:42:30,136 Okay. Come on, it'll be fun. I'm sorry. It'll be fun. 750 00:42:30,219 --> 00:42:32,138 Listen, Loretta sage is missing. 751 00:42:32,221 --> 00:42:34,557 When I looked at her smartwatch, it said that she had flown 752 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,320 to some island I've never even heard about. 753 00:42:36,350 --> 00:42:38,078 That means y'all need to do something about this. 754 00:42:38,102 --> 00:42:40,646 And if you can't, I will, and that won't look good for you. 755 00:42:41,230 --> 00:42:43,441 Pretty sure that's outside ourjurisdiction. 756 00:42:43,524 --> 00:42:45,443 You'd have to call the feds. 757 00:42:45,526 --> 00:42:46,611 Okay. 758 00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:48,988 And if you do go to the feds, put in a good word for me. 759 00:42:49,072 --> 00:42:51,324 - For me. - For us. 760 00:42:56,954 --> 00:42:58,456 Oh, oh. 761 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:07,840 What are you gonna do, put the car back together? 762 00:43:07,924 --> 00:43:09,926 Well... we could... 763 00:43:26,067 --> 00:43:27,735 Where did you say the phone was? 764 00:43:27,819 --> 00:43:28,819 Passenger glove. 765 00:43:28,861 --> 00:43:30,613 - What? - Passenger glove compartment. 766 00:43:30,696 --> 00:43:31,697 Goodness. 767 00:43:33,116 --> 00:43:34,534 Oh, my god. 768 00:43:34,617 --> 00:43:36,994 Oh, my god. No phone, no car. We're so gonna die out... 769 00:43:37,078 --> 00:43:38,788 - Here. - What is this? 770 00:43:38,871 --> 00:43:40,456 Boots for the jungle. 771 00:43:41,415 --> 00:43:43,334 It's not exactly hiking boots, but... 772 00:43:43,417 --> 00:43:46,313 I figured your feet would be killing you after wearing heels for this long. 773 00:43:46,337 --> 00:43:48,457 It was the best we could do. They're Allison's. Sorry. 774 00:43:49,173 --> 00:43:51,425 Oh, okay, well, thank you. 775 00:43:51,509 --> 00:43:53,302 Here, oh, I got you cheese. 776 00:43:53,386 --> 00:43:55,221 - Oh, my god. - You got to stay hydrated. 777 00:43:55,304 --> 00:43:57,282 - Thank you so much. - They didn't have glass bottles, 778 00:43:57,306 --> 00:43:59,066 so we'll definitely hold onto it and recycle. 779 00:44:02,019 --> 00:44:06,691 So, what we need to do is find a phone, we need to call the authorities, 780 00:44:06,774 --> 00:44:09,174 and we need to wait here until somebody comes and rescues us. 781 00:44:10,778 --> 00:44:13,239 This... this is the rescue. 782 00:44:13,322 --> 00:44:14,699 No one else is coming. 783 00:44:14,782 --> 00:44:16,576 - I'm sorry? - I'm the rescue. 784 00:44:16,659 --> 00:44:19,620 It was originallyjust gonna be me, then I was like, trainer should come. 785 00:44:19,704 --> 00:44:21,330 Oh, trainer. Rest in peace. 786 00:44:21,914 --> 00:44:24,458 So, our best bet is to get to the airport. 787 00:44:24,542 --> 00:44:26,043 - See this road right here? - Mm-hmm. 788 00:44:26,127 --> 00:44:28,838 From this area, just take a shortcut through the jungle to the road. 789 00:44:28,921 --> 00:44:30,649 Did you just say "shortcut through the jungle"? 790 00:44:30,673 --> 00:44:32,383 - Yeah. - Okay, do you see us? 791 00:44:32,466 --> 00:44:34,510 - Uh-huh. - You are not dash, and I'm not lovemore. 792 00:44:34,594 --> 00:44:36,470 Okay? I'm Loretta, and you are Alan. 793 00:44:36,554 --> 00:44:38,681 - And jungles eat people like us, okay? - Eat people. 794 00:44:38,764 --> 00:44:42,351 And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit. It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put. 795 00:44:42,435 --> 00:44:44,395 We're not just gonna stand around here. 796 00:44:44,478 --> 00:44:45,938 We're gonna go through the jungle, 797 00:44:46,022 --> 00:44:48,232 we're gonna go to the airport and find a phone, 798 00:44:48,316 --> 00:44:50,276 so you can have your cake and get what you want. 799 00:44:50,359 --> 00:44:51,360 "And eat it too"? 800 00:44:51,444 --> 00:44:53,797 If that's what you want to do with your cake, fine. Let's go. 801 00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:55,901 - That's the only thing you do with cake. - Not mine. 802 00:44:55,948 --> 00:44:58,302 I don't know what your people do, but my people eat it. 803 00:44:58,326 --> 00:45:00,661 You could give it to someone as a gift. 804 00:45:00,745 --> 00:45:02,890 Those people are still going to eat the cake. 805 00:45:02,914 --> 00:45:04,707 Everybody eats cake. 806 00:45:04,790 --> 00:45:06,590 What about the kind people jump out of? 807 00:45:06,626 --> 00:45:09,295 - They don't eat it, when they're in it. - Oh, my god. 808 00:45:35,947 --> 00:45:37,549 What did they kidnap you for anyhow? 809 00:45:37,573 --> 00:45:39,450 Is it some weird sex stuff like taken? 810 00:45:39,533 --> 00:45:41,035 Oh, my god, thank you. 811 00:45:41,118 --> 00:45:43,829 I thought so too, but the guy's one of the fairfaxes. 812 00:45:43,913 --> 00:45:45,706 - Beverly? - No, the older one. 813 00:45:45,790 --> 00:45:49,669 The really odd one that had the vlog on finding montezuma's treasure. 814 00:45:49,752 --> 00:45:52,105 The dude that was on the news for trying to raise the Titanic? 815 00:45:52,129 --> 00:45:53,982 Yes, he's looking for the crown of fire. 816 00:45:54,006 --> 00:45:57,927 Wait a minute. Like the actual crown of fire? Like the one... 817 00:45:58,010 --> 00:46:01,264 - So those ruins were... - They were the lost city of d, yes. 818 00:46:01,347 --> 00:46:03,599 - What? Are you kidding me right now? - Shh! 819 00:46:03,683 --> 00:46:05,268 This is like... like your book. 820 00:46:05,351 --> 00:46:08,187 So we're basically on a lovemore and dash adventure right now? 821 00:46:08,271 --> 00:46:09,311 How... 822 00:46:09,355 --> 00:46:10,356 What is that? 823 00:46:10,439 --> 00:46:12,817 What if Fairfax actually finds the crown? 824 00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:14,527 He won't. He won't. 825 00:46:16,570 --> 00:46:17,738 - Where do we go? - Uh... 826 00:46:17,822 --> 00:46:19,365 Oh, oh, oh. 827 00:46:22,868 --> 00:46:24,870 Okay, we... Uh, we need to get in the water. 828 00:46:24,954 --> 00:46:27,206 - W-What? - We need to go by river. 829 00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:28,833 Oh, no, no, I don't really do water. 830 00:46:28,916 --> 00:46:31,645 What do you mean, "do water“? I'm not asking you to procreate with it. 831 00:46:31,669 --> 00:46:34,255 Uh, my body and water don't really go together. 832 00:46:34,338 --> 00:46:35,798 How do you feel about dying? 833 00:46:35,881 --> 00:46:37,508 - Oh, god. - Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! 834 00:46:37,591 --> 00:46:39,431 You're okay. You're okay. I got you. I got you. 835 00:46:39,468 --> 00:46:41,512 - I can swim. I can swim. - Fine. 836 00:46:42,096 --> 00:46:43,889 - Where are you going? - I'm crossing. 837 00:46:43,973 --> 00:46:45,516 No, we have to stay in the water. 838 00:46:45,599 --> 00:46:48,328 I researched aquatic counter-tracking for my book, a year in the bush. 839 00:46:48,352 --> 00:46:49,832 They'll lose our tracks in the water. 840 00:46:50,354 --> 00:46:53,274 Why is it warm here? Wait, are you peeing? 841 00:46:53,357 --> 00:46:54,859 Just go around it. 842 00:47:24,055 --> 00:47:25,095 Okay, I think... 843 00:47:25,806 --> 00:47:27,725 I think we lost them, right? 844 00:47:27,808 --> 00:47:30,227 Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah. 845 00:47:31,395 --> 00:47:32,563 Okay, uh... 846 00:47:33,147 --> 00:47:34,987 - Don't panic. - What do you mean, don't panic? 847 00:47:35,066 --> 00:47:36,359 - Just don't panic. - No. 848 00:47:36,442 --> 00:47:38,235 Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now. 849 00:47:38,319 --> 00:47:39,862 You have something on your back. 850 00:47:41,530 --> 00:47:42,573 No! 851 00:47:42,656 --> 00:47:44,075 - Stop screaming. - What is that? 852 00:47:44,158 --> 00:47:45,493 - What is that? - Stop screaming. 853 00:47:45,576 --> 00:47:46,952 - Do you have any on you? - No. No. 854 00:47:47,036 --> 00:47:48,371 Why don't you have any on you? 855 00:47:48,454 --> 00:47:50,664 Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off. I don't know. 856 00:47:50,748 --> 00:47:51,999 - Get them off. - Oh, my god. 857 00:47:52,083 --> 00:47:54,794 Okay. No, I can't touch those blood-gorged mucous sacks. 858 00:47:54,877 --> 00:47:56,170 - Can you fling it? - Right now. 859 00:47:56,253 --> 00:47:57,689 - Get it. - Just pick it and fling it. 860 00:47:57,713 --> 00:47:59,816 - Just pick it and fling it. - You pick it and fling it! 861 00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,967 - Can you spin it off? - Please, get it off. 862 00:48:02,051 --> 00:48:04,136 I don't like touching it. I'm feeling faint. 863 00:48:04,220 --> 00:48:07,181 - They're sucking my soul out. - Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop. 864 00:48:07,264 --> 00:48:08,641 [Gags} 865 00:48:08,724 --> 00:48:10,351 Don't make that sound. 866 00:48:14,772 --> 00:48:16,190 How many of them are there? 867 00:48:16,273 --> 00:48:17,942 There's not many. 868 00:48:18,025 --> 00:48:19,860 It feels like there's so many. 869 00:48:19,944 --> 00:48:21,153 I feel so many. 870 00:48:21,237 --> 00:48:24,156 - Oh! Holy mother of god! - Why are you praying? 871 00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:27,118 Is it that bad? It can't be that bad. Is it that bad? How many? 872 00:48:27,201 --> 00:48:28,285 It's not great. 873 00:48:28,369 --> 00:48:30,454 They're gonna suck every bit of me out. 874 00:48:30,538 --> 00:48:33,999 Please stop speaking. I just need to get low. Hold on a second. 875 00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:37,837 Oh, god! I can feel them just sucking out so much. 876 00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,798 I'm gonna be a shriveled-up skin sack when they're done. 877 00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:42,925 You cannot tell my dad I died this way. 878 00:48:43,008 --> 00:48:47,096 You gotta tell him I was wrestling an anaconda with a sword or something. 879 00:48:47,179 --> 00:48:49,974 I'm like a blood jamba juice. They're just sucking it all out. 880 00:48:50,057 --> 00:48:51,642 Why are they all on my butt though? 881 00:48:51,725 --> 00:48:54,311 Kind of like picking anchovies off my Caesar salad. 882 00:48:54,395 --> 00:48:56,021 - It's actually not so bad. - Anchovies? 883 00:48:56,105 --> 00:48:57,857 Why do you go to food right now? 884 00:48:57,940 --> 00:49:00,818 Just find the queen, and let's be done with this. 885 00:49:00,901 --> 00:49:03,154 Think you're good. I just need to check your front. 886 00:49:03,237 --> 00:49:05,281 Okay. I can't look. 887 00:49:07,616 --> 00:49:09,034 Is it bad? 888 00:49:09,118 --> 00:49:12,288 - Uh, wow. - What is it? Just say it. 889 00:49:12,371 --> 00:49:15,875 I mean, you expect it to, you know, not... 890 00:49:15,958 --> 00:49:18,669 Then suddenly there it is, and it is, uh... 891 00:49:18,752 --> 00:49:21,088 - You know, you get excited for a person. - What? 892 00:49:21,172 --> 00:49:23,757 - I mean, I'm excited for all people. - Why are you excited? 893 00:49:23,841 --> 00:49:26,051 Well, you know, people wonder, they wonder, 894 00:49:26,135 --> 00:49:27,928 but they don't know, right? 895 00:49:28,012 --> 00:49:30,639 They don't, until suddenly they do know, 896 00:49:30,723 --> 00:49:34,935 and then they know something that wasn't known before. 897 00:49:35,019 --> 00:49:36,896 Just do I have any leeches or not? 898 00:49:36,979 --> 00:49:40,941 Oh, your plucky warrior hangs in tranquil solitude. 899 00:49:41,025 --> 00:49:42,109 What? 900 00:49:42,193 --> 00:49:44,236 No, you're good. You're good. 901 00:49:45,654 --> 00:49:49,116 We were so brave just then. Why do they go for the butt so much? 902 00:50:11,096 --> 00:50:12,848 What's that song you're singing? 903 00:50:13,933 --> 00:50:16,685 A song my abbi used to sing to me when I was a kid. 904 00:50:17,978 --> 00:50:20,189 - "If you suck life from the island... - Yeah? 905 00:50:20,773 --> 00:50:22,608 The island will suck of you." 906 00:50:23,859 --> 00:50:27,613 Your grandma sang you songs about getting sucked off by an island? 907 00:50:27,696 --> 00:50:29,823 It doesn't translate super well. 908 00:50:30,991 --> 00:50:33,827 Is phantom leech syndrome a thing? 909 00:50:33,911 --> 00:50:35,663 They don't lay eggs, do they? 910 00:51:24,837 --> 00:51:26,046 Queen taha? 911 00:51:39,810 --> 00:51:44,023 "King kalaman and his treasure laid to rest... 912 00:51:45,190 --> 00:51:48,819 Laid to rest in the well of endless tears. 913 00:51:48,902 --> 00:51:50,863 Laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 914 00:51:50,946 --> 00:51:52,506 - What does that mean? - Loretta! 915 00:51:53,449 --> 00:51:54,992 You gave me a heart attack. 916 00:51:55,868 --> 00:51:57,161 Where'd you go? 917 00:52:01,540 --> 00:52:03,250 What is this? 918 00:52:03,334 --> 00:52:06,128 I'm not sure, but maybe they gathered here? 919 00:52:09,089 --> 00:52:10,883 Can you imagine being right here, 920 00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,428 right in this very spot back then? 921 00:52:15,012 --> 00:52:16,430 The stories that they told? 922 00:52:16,513 --> 00:52:18,974 So much history I'm sure happened right here. 923 00:52:24,438 --> 00:52:25,939 They've got us cornered. 924 00:52:26,023 --> 00:52:27,900 - Okay. We've got to go up. Come on. - What? 925 00:52:28,484 --> 00:52:30,944 Have you seen what I'm wearing? I'm in a glitter straitjacket. 926 00:52:31,028 --> 00:52:34,031 There's nowhere to go but up. Come on. Let's go. 927 00:52:34,948 --> 00:52:37,618 Ooh. I should not be doing this. I'm too old for this. 928 00:52:37,701 --> 00:52:38,928 No, you're not. You're beautiful. 929 00:52:38,952 --> 00:52:42,790 I didn't say I'm not beautiful. I said I'm too old to be doing this. 930 00:52:42,873 --> 00:52:46,460 My skill is sitting and thinking and eating when I can't think. 931 00:52:46,543 --> 00:52:48,903 Yeah, you definitely could be wearing better shoes for this. 932 00:52:48,962 --> 00:52:50,881 You brought me these shoes. 933 00:52:50,964 --> 00:52:53,467 I can't go any further. I can't go any further. 934 00:52:53,550 --> 00:52:55,260 I'm not doing so great here. 935 00:52:55,344 --> 00:52:56,637 You got it. Come on. 936 00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,806 I know you think that you're safer holding on, 937 00:52:58,889 --> 00:53:00,182 but you have to keep going. 938 00:53:00,265 --> 00:53:02,065 - I can't. I can't, I can't. - Okay? 939 00:53:02,893 --> 00:53:04,561 - Do you smell that? - Smell what? 940 00:53:04,645 --> 00:53:06,456 - I smell something. - Is it a predator? What is it? 941 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,291 - A downward cascading fire? - You got to smell deeper. 942 00:53:08,315 --> 00:53:09,525 I don't smell anything! 943 00:53:13,028 --> 00:53:16,156 Take a big, deep breath. 944 00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,658 All right. 945 00:53:17,741 --> 00:53:19,535 - Good job. - Okay. 946 00:53:20,119 --> 00:53:22,538 - That was manipulative. Thank you. - Yeah, it was. 947 00:53:23,288 --> 00:53:25,708 Here we go. I'm gonna help you out a little bit, all right? 948 00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:27,960 - One, two, three... here we go! - What are you doing? 949 00:53:28,043 --> 00:53:29,545 - Get out of there. - Come on. 950 00:53:29,628 --> 00:53:31,755 - No, no, don't flex. - That's my hoo-hoo. 951 00:53:31,839 --> 00:53:34,591 Just ride the head. Keep the hands moving and ride the head. 952 00:53:34,675 --> 00:53:36,093 - Oh, god. - You're doing great. 953 00:53:36,176 --> 00:53:38,512 Sorry about the scratchy haircut. Come on. 954 00:53:58,782 --> 00:54:00,868 Dulcius ex asperis. 955 00:54:01,535 --> 00:54:02,911 What was that? 956 00:54:02,995 --> 00:54:04,705 Oh, nothing. 957 00:54:04,788 --> 00:54:07,082 It was just something that John and I would say 958 00:54:07,166 --> 00:54:10,377 after we finished something big, like a... 959 00:54:10,461 --> 00:54:12,463 Like an archaeological dig or a manuscript. 960 00:54:12,546 --> 00:54:15,424 It's Latin. It means "sweeter after difficulty." 961 00:54:16,884 --> 00:54:18,385 What's, uh... 962 00:54:18,469 --> 00:54:20,429 What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"? 963 00:54:20,512 --> 00:54:24,141 I am a badass. I climbed a mountain. 964 00:54:25,017 --> 00:54:28,020 Oh, my god. I wish Beth could've seen us do this. 965 00:54:28,103 --> 00:54:30,939 - Oh, god. Beth. - Don't worry about Beth. 966 00:54:31,523 --> 00:54:33,901 She's probably got the whole Navy after us right now. 967 00:54:34,777 --> 00:54:36,653 I get that you think you have to go 968 00:54:36,737 --> 00:54:37,964 to the island authorities yourself 969 00:54:37,988 --> 00:54:41,325 but don't worry, I'm keeping Loretta's socials super active. 970 00:54:41,408 --> 00:54:43,702 Just tweeted, ”did I just get kidnapped? 971 00:54:43,786 --> 00:54:47,456 ♪ Fll/il, @shawnll/lendes, ♪shawnmendes. ” 972 00:54:47,539 --> 00:54:49,219 And you're traveling alone? 973 00:54:49,249 --> 00:54:51,794 Yes, I'm traveling alone. Mm-hmm. I'm single. 974 00:54:52,586 --> 00:54:53,629 Then this might work. 975 00:54:53,712 --> 00:54:55,964 - Okay! Talk to me. - You'll hit New York. 976 00:54:56,048 --> 00:54:59,218 From there, you'll fly to Guinea, where you can pick up a puddle jumper. 977 00:54:59,301 --> 00:55:00,344 A what? 978 00:55:01,470 --> 00:55:02,989 - Small plane. - Yeah, no leg room. 979 00:55:03,013 --> 00:55:04,306 That's fine. I'll take it. 980 00:55:04,389 --> 00:55:06,183 - Or you could just come home. - Thank you. 981 00:55:14,274 --> 00:55:16,735 We need something more flammable. Everything is just so wet. 982 00:55:16,819 --> 00:55:18,779 - What's in here? What's in your bag? - Uh... 983 00:55:18,862 --> 00:55:21,865 - Oh, a lot. Okay. - What are... uh, what you doing? 984 00:55:21,949 --> 00:55:23,826 Okay. Face masks. 985 00:55:23,909 --> 00:55:25,509 Yeah, that was like a gift-basket thing. 986 00:55:25,536 --> 00:55:27,329 You brought a scented candle into the jungle? 987 00:55:27,412 --> 00:55:28,664 My mom gave me that. 988 00:55:28,747 --> 00:55:30,582 It was like a weird gift for mother's day. 989 00:55:30,666 --> 00:55:32,543 Your mom gives you gifts for mother's day? 990 00:55:32,626 --> 00:55:35,003 Uh, noir... oh. 991 00:55:35,087 --> 00:55:36,797 Eucalyptus Rosemary oil. Ooh. 992 00:55:37,381 --> 00:55:38,924 - Oh, that smells good. - Um-_ 993 00:55:39,007 --> 00:55:40,884 Oh, oh, okay. All right. 994 00:55:40,968 --> 00:55:42,928 Whoo! Yes! 995 00:55:43,011 --> 00:55:44,972 Yes, I made fire! 996 00:55:45,681 --> 00:55:49,184 - That's pretty impressive. You have to... - It is a beautiful fire. 997 00:55:49,268 --> 00:55:51,228 Who would have thought? Oh! 998 00:55:51,311 --> 00:55:53,397 Oh, you're just, um, taking your... Your shirt off? 999 00:55:54,815 --> 00:55:56,817 That looks really uncomfortable. 1000 00:55:56,900 --> 00:55:58,819 Are you okay? The back? 1001 00:55:58,902 --> 00:56:03,031 Yeah. That is why I don't do water. 1002 00:56:03,115 --> 00:56:05,576 - Okay. - My body becomes an eighth-grader's face. 1003 00:56:05,659 --> 00:56:08,287 Do you have anything for it? Like some ointment or something? 1004 00:56:08,370 --> 00:56:10,497 Yeah, I do. Well, I did. 1005 00:56:10,581 --> 00:56:12,499 It was in a little, tiny little bottle. 1006 00:56:12,583 --> 00:56:14,585 It was this. I'm sorry. 1007 00:56:14,668 --> 00:56:16,753 Oh, god, I'm sorry. 1008 00:56:16,837 --> 00:56:18,297 It's okay. 1009 00:56:18,380 --> 00:56:20,591 - Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here. - What? 1010 00:56:20,674 --> 00:56:23,218 - Come here. Sit down. - Let me see. 1011 00:56:23,302 --> 00:56:24,845 - Just sit down. - Right here? 1012 00:56:24,928 --> 00:56:25,928 Yeah. 1013 00:56:27,097 --> 00:56:28,098 Okay. 1014 00:56:28,724 --> 00:56:30,910 Oh, no, you don't have to touch it. It's okay. It's fine. 1015 00:56:30,934 --> 00:56:32,978 I touched your engorged sacks, so... 1016 00:56:35,188 --> 00:56:36,899 - The leeches. - Oh, okay. 1017 00:56:37,482 --> 00:56:39,484 Okay, this might be a little bit cold. 1018 00:56:40,777 --> 00:56:42,487 - Sorry. - Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm. 1019 00:56:42,571 --> 00:56:44,156 Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. 1020 00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:46,241 Maybe this is how dash should die. 1021 00:56:46,325 --> 00:56:49,161 Horrible eczema outbreak. That's so sexy. 1022 00:56:49,244 --> 00:56:50,662 Oh, I could make it work. 1023 00:56:51,246 --> 00:56:52,247 Yeah? 1024 00:56:53,081 --> 00:56:54,374 All right, then. 1025 00:56:55,667 --> 00:56:57,377 How would you write this? 1026 00:56:57,461 --> 00:56:58,795 Okay. 1027 00:57:00,923 --> 00:57:04,092 "Warmed by the fragrant fire..." 1028 00:57:04,176 --> 00:57:06,803 Mm-hmm. 1029 00:57:06,887 --> 00:57:08,805 - Starting strong. - Mm-hmm. 1030 00:57:09,389 --> 00:57:11,808 "Lovemore's hands explored the... 1031 00:57:13,769 --> 00:57:16,188 The contoured scenery 1032 00:57:16,271 --> 00:57:17,731 of dash's body. 1033 00:57:20,150 --> 00:57:22,069 Familiar terrain made 1034 00:57:22,903 --> 00:57:25,072 new and exciting with every... 1035 00:57:26,239 --> 00:57:28,992 With every Scarlet rim.“ 1036 00:57:29,576 --> 00:57:31,161 And that... it didn't, uh... 1037 00:57:32,204 --> 00:57:33,664 Didn't turn her off? 1038 00:57:35,540 --> 00:57:37,542 "Because with every cardinal Ridge, 1039 00:57:38,710 --> 00:57:41,129 lovemore discovered another letter in the language 1040 00:57:41,213 --> 00:57:43,173 that only their bodies spoke." 1041 00:57:44,299 --> 00:57:46,218 And what were their bodies saying? 1042 00:57:48,220 --> 00:57:49,596 "Take me... 1043 00:57:51,765 --> 00:57:53,266 Take me, 1044 00:57:54,017 --> 00:57:55,602 take me." 1045 00:57:55,686 --> 00:57:56,812 How's that? 1046 00:57:57,854 --> 00:57:58,939 It was good. 1047 00:57:59,022 --> 00:58:00,941 - Your back. I mean, how is your back? - Good. 1048 00:58:01,024 --> 00:58:02,651 - Okay. You sure? - Yeah. 1049 00:58:02,734 --> 00:58:06,947 - I also meant my back. Right there, yeah. - Okay. 1050 00:58:15,330 --> 00:58:16,331 Supplies. 1051 00:58:18,250 --> 00:58:22,921 Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna probably turn in in a little bit. 1052 00:58:23,005 --> 00:58:24,297 - Okay. - You good? 1053 00:58:24,381 --> 00:58:27,009 Yeah, I'm fire... fine. I'm fine. 1054 00:58:27,092 --> 00:58:29,761 I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire. 1055 00:58:30,637 --> 00:58:32,264 Okay. All right. 1056 00:58:40,522 --> 00:58:43,817 Uh, I... I... it's up to you, but if you're cold, 1057 00:58:43,900 --> 00:58:47,696 maybe we could probably both fit in here, if you... if you wanted to. 1058 00:58:47,779 --> 00:58:50,115 M... both of us? 1059 00:58:50,198 --> 00:58:53,452 - Only if you want to. I mean, it's just... - Yeah, no, that sounds... 1060 00:58:53,535 --> 00:58:56,580 Uh, okay. How do you... 1061 00:58:56,663 --> 00:58:58,498 You can go first, then I'll figure it out. 1062 00:58:58,582 --> 00:59:02,044 No, no, you go. It's definitely a "ladies first" type of situation. 1063 00:59:02,127 --> 00:59:04,814 - Keep hands out of the bag at all times. - That's what I was gonna do. 1064 00:59:04,838 --> 00:59:06,524 - Butt to butt. - Hands out and butt to butt. 1065 00:59:06,548 --> 00:59:09,760 - Yeah. What do I do? - Just get in. Go ahead and sit. 1066 00:59:09,843 --> 00:59:12,429 I sit first? Okay. I'm in. 1067 00:59:14,264 --> 00:59:16,892 You're too heavy. You're gonna flip this thing like a cruise ship. 1068 00:59:16,975 --> 00:59:19,644 You watch yourself. Hold on. I'm not in. 1069 00:59:23,565 --> 00:59:24,691 How 'bout you shimmy? 1070 00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:27,652 - Um, I can't breathe. I'm not breathing. - Are you good? 1071 00:59:27,736 --> 00:59:28,862 My face. 1072 00:59:29,613 --> 00:59:30,947 Yeah. Okay. 1073 00:59:34,034 --> 00:59:35,452 Hands are out. Butt to butt. 1074 00:59:35,535 --> 00:59:36,536 Okay. 1075 01:00:07,859 --> 01:00:09,402 Well! 1076 01:00:09,486 --> 01:00:10,695 Come on. 1077 01:00:10,779 --> 01:00:12,614 Come on! Let's hear it! 1078 01:00:12,697 --> 01:00:16,118 Let's give a nice round of applause to Loretta! 1079 01:00:16,201 --> 01:00:17,786 She earned it. 1080 01:00:17,869 --> 01:00:21,790 A geriatric shut-in left you holding your dicks in the jungle. 1081 01:00:22,374 --> 01:00:23,375 Good job, Loretta. 1082 01:00:23,959 --> 01:00:26,128 Boss, come on. People are dying now. 1083 01:00:26,711 --> 01:00:29,548 Don't you think that maybe this has all gone too far? 1084 01:00:30,882 --> 01:00:32,175 Is it really worth it? 1085 01:00:32,884 --> 01:00:36,179 I am on the cusp of attaining the unattainable. 1086 01:00:36,263 --> 01:00:39,307 Something singular, something no nation, 1087 01:00:39,391 --> 01:00:42,936 no emperor, no brownnosing brothers ever have. 1088 01:00:43,019 --> 01:00:45,856 The legendary crown of fire. 1089 01:00:46,439 --> 01:00:47,440 So, yes. 1090 01:00:47,941 --> 01:00:50,277 Yes, I would definitely say it's worth it. 1091 01:00:59,786 --> 01:01:01,246 Excuse me! 1092 01:01:01,955 --> 01:01:04,291 Excuse me, sir. I need to get to my next connecting flight. 1093 01:01:04,374 --> 01:01:05,792 No flight. 1094 01:01:05,876 --> 01:01:08,628 The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow. 1095 01:01:08,712 --> 01:01:10,898 No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow. I need to do this today. 1096 01:01:10,922 --> 01:01:14,050 I need to get to the island Isla hundida tonight. 1097 01:01:14,134 --> 01:01:15,510 Lives are at stake. 1098 01:01:15,594 --> 01:01:16,928 Come tomorrow. 1099 01:01:20,974 --> 01:01:22,851 - Excuse me, miss? - Yes? 1100 01:01:22,934 --> 01:01:26,021 I couldn't help but overhear you say that you like steak. 1101 01:01:26,980 --> 01:01:29,774 Okay, this is a little bit crazy, 1102 01:01:30,442 --> 01:01:32,235 but I also like steak. 1103 01:01:32,319 --> 01:01:34,779 - What? - I also like steak. 1104 01:01:34,863 --> 01:01:38,241 Would you like to, maybe, I don't know... 1105 01:01:38,325 --> 01:01:41,161 - Maybe there's a... - No. "Lives are at stake." 1106 01:01:41,244 --> 01:01:42,913 I need to go to the island tonight. 1107 01:01:42,996 --> 01:01:44,623 -Yes. 1108 01:01:44,706 --> 01:01:46,041 - Even more serious. - Extremely. 1109 01:01:46,124 --> 01:01:49,377 Well, I believe that I may be able to assist you. 1110 01:01:49,461 --> 01:01:51,087 I have a cargo plane. 1111 01:01:52,339 --> 01:01:55,300 Maybe after I make my delivery, we could swing by your island. 1112 01:01:56,551 --> 01:01:59,095 I'm gonna ask you something, and you better tell me the truth. 1113 01:01:59,179 --> 01:02:01,056 Have you ever murdered anyone before? 1114 01:02:08,146 --> 01:02:10,857 I don't know if I really buy it, but let me tell you something. 1115 01:02:10,941 --> 01:02:15,070 If you ever think about murdering me, I promise, I will murder you first. 1116 01:02:15,153 --> 01:02:16,613 My pleasure. 1117 01:02:16,696 --> 01:02:18,448 You are weird. Let's go. 1118 01:03:14,337 --> 01:03:17,424 "King kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well 1119 01:03:18,133 --> 01:03:19,467 of endless tears." 1120 01:03:21,344 --> 01:03:22,345 What is that? 1121 01:03:23,763 --> 01:03:26,433 Oh, it's a... it's a thing. I mean, it's not... uh... 1122 01:03:27,225 --> 01:03:29,561 You know, it's not what you think it is. 1123 01:03:29,644 --> 01:03:33,440 So it's not Fairfax's fragment of an ancient parchment? 1124 01:03:33,523 --> 01:03:37,360 Okay. It's what you... What you think it is. 1125 01:03:37,444 --> 01:03:39,088 Loretta, I thought you were smarter than that. 1126 01:03:39,112 --> 01:03:41,656 Fairfax is never gonna stop hunting us now. 1127 01:03:41,740 --> 01:03:42,907 What were you thinking? 1128 01:03:42,991 --> 01:03:46,745 We have a volcano that could Bury the tomb before we get to it, before we see it, 1129 01:03:46,828 --> 01:03:48,705 before we preserve its memory. 1130 01:03:48,788 --> 01:03:50,788 - This is... - I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing? 1131 01:03:50,832 --> 01:03:53,293 'Cause no one told me. When were you gonna tell me? 1132 01:03:53,376 --> 01:03:54,669 Why would I tell you? 1133 01:03:54,753 --> 01:03:56,755 We're in this together. I came here to rescue you. 1134 01:03:56,838 --> 01:03:58,506 You know you're not dash, right? 1135 01:03:58,590 --> 01:04:00,925 You don't ride in on a white horse to rescue people. 1136 01:04:01,009 --> 01:04:05,305 You... spray yourself with bronzer and you stand in front of wind machines, 1137 01:04:05,388 --> 01:04:06,890 which is great for you. 1138 01:04:06,973 --> 01:04:09,684 How would you have any idea what I'm actually like? 1139 01:04:09,768 --> 01:04:12,729 I know you. You're a pretty open book, Alan. 1140 01:04:12,812 --> 01:04:14,397 - Okay, then who am I? - Really? 1141 01:04:14,481 --> 01:04:15,482 Yeah. 1142 01:04:17,484 --> 01:04:20,111 O... okay, uh, uh... 1143 01:04:20,195 --> 01:04:23,365 You were a homecoming king and you coasted on your good looks to la, 1144 01:04:23,448 --> 01:04:26,010 but then realized that being the most handsome kid in the middle of nowhere 1145 01:04:26,034 --> 01:04:27,511 doesn't mean you're going to be a star. 1146 01:04:27,535 --> 01:04:29,722 Until one day, when a woman who couldn't publish her book 1147 01:04:29,746 --> 01:04:33,249 on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic decided to write a romance novel, 1148 01:04:33,333 --> 01:04:35,502 chose you at random to be on the cover. 1149 01:04:35,585 --> 01:04:38,963 Lucky for you and her, the novels were a smashing success. 1150 01:04:39,047 --> 01:04:42,092 She kept writing her schlock, you kept posing... 1151 01:04:42,175 --> 01:04:46,930 Um, you know, neither one of us becoming who we'd hoped we would be. 1152 01:04:47,555 --> 01:04:51,559 Uh, and then one day, we both die in the jungle 1153 01:04:51,643 --> 01:04:55,522 on one of those Atlantic islands I wrote about all those years ago. 1154 01:04:55,605 --> 01:04:56,606 Right? 1155 01:04:57,982 --> 01:04:58,983 Mm-hmm. 1156 01:05:10,829 --> 01:05:12,247 It was sarasota, by the way. 1157 01:05:12,914 --> 01:05:13,915 It's not nowhere. 1158 01:05:14,749 --> 01:05:16,876 I grew up there with my mom and two sisters. 1159 01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:17,961 And yeah. 1160 01:05:19,212 --> 01:05:21,881 I started modeling 'cause I wanted to get away. 1161 01:05:21,965 --> 01:05:25,468 It was the only job that I could think of that could take me to all of the places 1162 01:05:25,552 --> 01:05:27,137 that I always dreamed of going. 1163 01:05:27,220 --> 01:05:28,638 Then finally to Los Angeles, 1164 01:05:28,721 --> 01:05:31,683 where I posed on the cover of your romance novel. 1165 01:05:31,766 --> 01:05:34,477 I was so embarrassed that one of my friends might've seen me 1166 01:05:34,561 --> 01:05:36,771 in that wig on the cover of your book 1167 01:05:36,855 --> 01:05:39,190 that I avoided talking to them for months. 1168 01:05:40,442 --> 01:05:41,776 And then one day, 1169 01:05:42,652 --> 01:05:44,571 I'm walking home, 1170 01:05:44,654 --> 01:05:46,990 and I hear this lady yell, "dash!" 1171 01:05:47,615 --> 01:05:50,201 She runs up, and she is so happy. 1172 01:05:50,285 --> 01:05:54,038 Then I thought, "how could I be this embarrassed 1173 01:05:54,122 --> 01:05:56,416 about something that makes people this happy?" 1174 01:06:00,086 --> 01:06:01,606 Loretta, you can do whatever you want. 1175 01:06:02,172 --> 01:06:04,052 If you don't want to write anymore, don't write. 1176 01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:08,511 But don't minimize the people that love your work by calling it schlock. 1177 01:06:09,095 --> 01:06:11,055 That's not fair to them. 1178 01:06:12,557 --> 01:06:13,892 You know what's ironic? 1179 01:06:13,975 --> 01:06:17,479 I thought you of all people would know not to judge a book by its cover. 1180 01:06:21,983 --> 01:06:25,069 Judge a book by its cover model. 1181 01:06:55,808 --> 01:06:57,018 Alan? 1182 01:06:57,101 --> 01:06:58,245 Alan. 1183 01:07:09,781 --> 01:07:11,533 Oh, there's two of them. 1184 01:07:18,039 --> 01:07:20,416 - Loretta! I'm over here! - Alan! 1185 01:07:21,751 --> 01:07:24,337 Alan! Motorcycles and guns, motorcycles and guns! 1186 01:07:24,837 --> 01:07:26,673 Come this way! 1187 01:07:27,549 --> 01:07:28,550 Stop shooting! 1188 01:07:34,097 --> 01:07:35,697 - Just give 'em the parchment! - I can't. 1189 01:07:35,765 --> 01:07:38,810 Yes, you can, actually. You just say, "here," and throw it at 'em. 1190 01:07:38,893 --> 01:07:41,312 Right. And then I'm sure they'll happily let us go. 1191 01:07:41,396 --> 01:07:43,316 - Okay, keep down. - How do they keep finding us? 1192 01:07:43,356 --> 01:07:45,834 - You're basically a walking disco ball. - We need to come up with a plan. 1193 01:07:45,858 --> 01:07:46,859 I have an idea. 1194 01:07:46,943 --> 01:07:48,653 We're gonna dig a hole, throw our voices. 1195 01:07:48,736 --> 01:07:50,697 "We're over here." Can you sound like a bird? 1196 01:07:50,780 --> 01:07:53,199 - No, I have a plan. - Alan, please, I'm thinking. 1197 01:07:53,283 --> 01:07:56,494 - I know, but I have a plan. - Please, just let me think about... 1198 01:07:57,704 --> 01:08:00,599 - Wait a minute. They're shooting at you. - Yeah, that's why we're hiding. 1199 01:08:00,623 --> 01:08:02,625 No. They're shooting only at you. 1200 01:08:03,126 --> 01:08:05,795 They won't shoot me. It's my brain that's valuable. 1201 01:08:06,963 --> 01:08:09,549 I don't think you actually hear the things you say sometimes. 1202 01:08:09,632 --> 01:08:12,510 - Maybe I can shield you. - You are not shielding me. 1203 01:08:12,594 --> 01:08:14,405 - I should be shielding you. - Why? Because I'm a woman? 1204 01:08:14,429 --> 01:08:15,430 That's supremely sexist. 1205 01:08:15,513 --> 01:08:17,932 I don't think using women as human shields 1206 01:08:18,016 --> 01:08:20,768 is exactly the change that Gloria Seinfeld had in mind, do you? 1207 01:08:20,852 --> 01:08:22,478 Gloria steinem? 1208 01:08:22,562 --> 01:08:25,541 Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine. Please mansplain sexism to me right now. 1209 01:08:25,565 --> 01:08:29,152 Oh, my god. I am a woman. I can't mansplain anything. 1210 01:08:29,235 --> 01:08:32,739 Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a woman can do anything a man can do. 1211 01:08:33,990 --> 01:08:35,830 We just need to stay here until they get tired. 1212 01:08:35,908 --> 01:08:38,036 - I have an idea. Can I tell you my plan? - Alan! 1213 01:08:38,119 --> 01:08:41,664 This is not a situation you can get out of by ripping your shirt off. 1214 01:08:41,748 --> 01:08:43,416 Not my shirt. 1215 01:09:14,947 --> 01:09:16,366 Three! 1216 01:09:16,449 --> 01:09:17,909 - Yes! - Oh! 1217 01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,207 Oh. 1218 01:09:24,290 --> 01:09:27,627 Um, that was different than I had in my head. 1219 01:09:28,211 --> 01:09:29,671 I just wanted us to stop them. 1220 01:09:29,754 --> 01:09:31,674 Could it have been the wind that made it do that? 1221 01:09:31,714 --> 01:09:33,883 No, I think it was us. I think... we did it. 1222 01:09:33,966 --> 01:09:36,511 We did the one guy, right? But that was, like... 1223 01:09:36,594 --> 01:09:39,847 We just wanted him to stop. But the other guy could've moved, really. 1224 01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:42,141 So, that one was on him. 1225 01:09:42,225 --> 01:09:45,103 Even if we weren't here, that could've happened. 1226 01:09:45,186 --> 01:09:46,896 Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff? 1227 01:09:46,979 --> 01:09:49,565 But they... they were wearing helmets, so maybe they're... 1228 01:09:49,649 --> 01:09:51,693 But the rest of their body didn't have a helmet. 1229 01:09:51,776 --> 01:09:53,069 So there'd just be a head. 1230 01:09:53,152 --> 01:09:55,363 They were driving recklessly, right? 1231 01:09:55,446 --> 01:09:57,073 Don't be mean on a bike. 1232 01:09:57,949 --> 01:09:59,367 Don't do mean stuff on a bike. 1233 01:10:03,413 --> 01:10:05,081 I mean, perhaps they're fine. 1234 01:10:05,790 --> 01:10:08,376 Yeah, probably not. Uh, but that's okay. 1235 01:10:08,459 --> 01:10:12,296 That's all right. You know, things... Things happen. Let's go. 1236 01:10:14,841 --> 01:10:17,885 - What, are you gonna put it back together? - It's on loan. 1237 01:10:30,857 --> 01:10:33,067 - Look at me. - Okay. 1238 01:10:33,985 --> 01:10:36,195 What more can I do, you know? 1239 01:10:36,279 --> 01:10:38,239 You've done so much already, Beth. 1240 01:10:38,322 --> 01:10:41,409 My poor, sweet, little Nana has lost her sight. 1241 01:10:41,492 --> 01:10:45,913 The book release is a complete disaster, which I've leveraged everything on, 1242 01:10:45,997 --> 01:10:48,458 so I'm probably, most definitely broke right now. 1243 01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:51,669 And most importantly, I've lost a writer. 1244 01:10:51,753 --> 01:10:53,463 Who does that? Who loses a writer? 1245 01:10:53,546 --> 01:10:57,925 Okay, Beth, you remind me of my best friend, Randy. 1246 01:10:58,009 --> 01:11:00,470 Always looking out for other people, 1247 01:11:00,553 --> 01:11:02,722 never taking care of herself. 1248 01:11:03,973 --> 01:11:05,391 Isn't that right, Randy? 1249 01:11:07,894 --> 01:11:09,771 She's like my therapist, this one over here. 1250 01:11:09,854 --> 01:11:11,439 Lol. "Laughing out loud." 1251 01:11:12,106 --> 01:11:13,816 After you take care of your friend, 1252 01:11:14,942 --> 01:11:16,402 how about we go to a beach? 1253 01:11:16,486 --> 01:11:18,905 - What? - Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii. 1254 01:11:19,489 --> 01:11:20,990 She doesn't have to come. 1255 01:11:21,073 --> 01:11:23,868 Okay! Okay, you can come! 1256 01:11:24,368 --> 01:11:25,703 She's hilarious. 1257 01:11:26,704 --> 01:11:28,206 Let me ask you something. 1258 01:11:28,289 --> 01:11:30,833 We're all sitting here chitchatting, but who's flying the plane? 1259 01:11:30,917 --> 01:11:32,877 - Autopilot. - What? 1260 01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:35,338 Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane. 1261 01:11:35,922 --> 01:11:36,923 Okay. 1262 01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:39,634 I'm going to go land the plane. 1263 01:11:39,717 --> 01:11:41,302 Okay. 1264 01:11:41,385 --> 01:11:43,305 No, no, no. Take the goat. Please, take the goat. 1265 01:11:43,387 --> 01:11:45,723 She's on break. Enjoy the flight! 1266 01:12:21,217 --> 01:12:22,426 -Hola. 1267 01:12:27,181 --> 01:12:29,851 This English dude came in and basically kidnapped her. 1268 01:12:31,769 --> 01:12:35,189 Hey, its Beth. Please leave a message, and III get right back to you. 1269 01:12:35,273 --> 01:12:38,192 Uh, hi, Beth. 1270 01:12:38,276 --> 01:12:39,360 It's... it's me. 1271 01:12:39,443 --> 01:12:41,028 Uh, I'm alive! 1272 01:12:41,988 --> 01:12:43,948 Uh, listen, um... 1273 01:12:47,869 --> 01:12:51,747 I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour. 1274 01:12:53,916 --> 01:12:56,043 I was just afraid 1275 01:12:57,211 --> 01:12:59,088 and selfish. Uh... 1276 01:12:59,171 --> 01:13:02,466 Oh, here comes Alan. I'll call you back. 1277 01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:08,139 So, uh, police are searching for Fairfax, 1278 01:13:08,222 --> 01:13:10,600 and they're gonna provide us protection while we're here. 1279 01:13:10,683 --> 01:13:12,727 Did they say how long we'd be here? 1280 01:13:12,810 --> 01:13:15,438 They're gonna try to get us on a puddle jumper later this evening. 1281 01:13:15,521 --> 01:13:17,841 But, uh, they said in the meantime, the inn is really nice, 1282 01:13:17,899 --> 01:13:20,234 and we can get cleaned up and maybe a change of clothes. 1283 01:13:20,318 --> 01:13:21,319 Okay. 1284 01:13:25,114 --> 01:13:26,532 Okay. Yeah. 1285 01:14:19,543 --> 01:14:20,836 Thank you. 1286 01:14:21,545 --> 01:14:24,924 Come on. 1287 01:14:25,007 --> 01:14:26,300 Dance with your husband. 1288 01:14:26,384 --> 01:14:28,219 - No, no, no. - He's not my husband. 1289 01:14:28,302 --> 01:14:29,845 - It's okay. - Dance with him. 1290 01:14:29,929 --> 01:14:32,723 No, no. She doesn't want to. She doesn't have the right shoes. 1291 01:14:32,807 --> 01:14:35,267 Actually, it's the only thing these shoes are right for. 1292 01:14:35,893 --> 01:14:37,478 You don't have to do this. 1293 01:14:37,561 --> 01:14:39,230 It's okay. It's okay. 1294 01:14:40,106 --> 01:14:41,107 Yeah? 1295 01:15:59,810 --> 01:16:01,479 I wonder what she's saying. 1296 01:16:03,898 --> 01:16:05,316 It's folklore. 1297 01:16:06,776 --> 01:16:09,070 Love song about a woman 1298 01:16:09,153 --> 01:16:12,073 whose lover died, and she didn't want to leave his side. 1299 01:16:13,240 --> 01:16:16,118 So she laid down and refused to get up. 1300 01:16:16,702 --> 01:16:17,828 Must be scary. 1301 01:16:18,496 --> 01:16:22,374 Having to face your future without the person that you planned it with. 1302 01:16:34,845 --> 01:16:36,263 What was that? 1303 01:16:38,682 --> 01:16:42,311 Excuse me. The last line that you sang. 1304 01:16:42,394 --> 01:16:44,730 G ouién I/orarajunto a mi? 1305 01:16:47,733 --> 01:16:50,569 "The island will weep for me in the well of endless tears." 1306 01:16:50,653 --> 01:16:53,989 What is that, the well of endless tears? Is that a real place, or... 1307 01:16:54,073 --> 01:16:55,366 Sinkhole place. 1308 01:16:57,493 --> 01:16:59,203 Thank you. Gracias, gracias. 1309 01:16:59,286 --> 01:17:01,122 - Come here, come here. - What is it? 1310 01:17:02,915 --> 01:17:04,875 Hey, on the parchment, it said, 1311 01:17:04,959 --> 01:17:08,963 "king kalaman and his treasure laid to rest in the well of endless tears." 1312 01:17:09,046 --> 01:17:10,923 I thought maybe it was a metaphor. 1313 01:17:11,507 --> 01:17:13,300 It's not. 1314 01:17:13,384 --> 01:17:16,262 The well of endless tears is a place. 1315 01:17:16,345 --> 01:17:18,389 It's a sinkhole. 1316 01:17:18,472 --> 01:17:20,474 There's a sinkhole on the map. 1317 01:17:21,934 --> 01:17:23,894 I think the tomb is there. 1318 01:17:23,978 --> 01:17:26,272 - This is so much better than your books. - What? 1319 01:17:26,355 --> 01:17:28,041 There's like... No, I don't mean any offense. 1320 01:17:28,065 --> 01:17:29,709 - I'm kidding. I'm kidding. - It's, like, equal. 1321 01:17:29,733 --> 01:17:32,212 - I'm kidding. I'm kidding. - Look at you. You want to go there. 1322 01:17:32,236 --> 01:17:34,321 - What? No. - I can see. Yes, you do. 1323 01:17:34,405 --> 01:17:37,575 That would be insane. That would be insane. I just... I just... 1324 01:17:37,658 --> 01:17:41,745 It's just that we're so close to it, but, you know, we can't... 1325 01:17:43,080 --> 01:17:45,916 This is your story. How do you want to write it? 1326 01:17:46,876 --> 01:17:49,128 I... I'd like to know that it's there, 1327 01:17:49,211 --> 01:17:50,838 that all this meant something. 1328 01:17:50,921 --> 01:17:52,214 Okay. Then let's go. 1329 01:17:53,132 --> 01:17:54,216 We'll stay one more day. 1330 01:17:54,300 --> 01:17:56,736 As soon as the sun's up, we're gonna go find the well of endless tears. 1331 01:17:56,760 --> 01:17:59,513 - But what if it's nothing? - So what? Then we say we tried. 1332 01:17:59,597 --> 01:18:00,848 And Fairfax? 1333 01:18:00,931 --> 01:18:03,267 The cops are after Fairfax. Don't worry about him. 1334 01:18:04,393 --> 01:18:06,187 - This is crazy. - Yeah, but look at you. 1335 01:18:06,270 --> 01:18:07,146 What? 1336 01:18:07,229 --> 01:18:09,982 It's the very first time I've ever seen you totally unafraid. 1337 01:18:10,774 --> 01:18:12,401 And alive. 1338 01:18:12,484 --> 01:18:15,237 I'm gonna go tell them our plans have changed and find us a ride. 1339 01:18:15,321 --> 01:18:16,614 Where are you going? 1340 01:18:21,118 --> 01:18:22,578 I see you met my friend here. 1341 01:18:23,495 --> 01:18:26,999 He told me you were just about to jump on a plane, 1342 01:18:27,082 --> 01:18:29,084 without so much as saying goodbye. 1343 01:18:29,710 --> 01:18:33,297 I said, "no way. Not my Loretta. 1344 01:18:33,881 --> 01:18:37,468 Not when she's the only one who can lead me to the tomb." 1345 01:18:41,013 --> 01:18:42,806 Stop squeezing so hard. 1346 01:18:43,849 --> 01:18:46,602 Ow, ow. Get your hands off of me! 1347 01:18:47,478 --> 01:18:49,271 Ow! Let go! 1348 01:18:49,897 --> 01:18:52,900 I... I need a car. A car, an auto. Does anybody have an auto? 1349 01:19:01,533 --> 01:19:02,576 No, no. No. 1350 01:19:03,494 --> 01:19:06,622 I need an auto. I'll trade you my watch. It's a really expensive watch. 1351 01:19:06,705 --> 01:19:09,416 Do you have a car? It's a bulgari. This thing glows in the dark. 1352 01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:11,020 - It's waterproof. - I have motorcycle. 1353 01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:25,975 Cool, isn't it? 1354 01:19:26,517 --> 01:19:29,812 I always thought, why can't your personal tank also have a minibar? 1355 01:19:29,895 --> 01:19:32,356 Have a drink. 1356 01:19:32,439 --> 01:19:33,941 - Do you mind? - Uh, yes. 1357 01:19:34,024 --> 01:19:37,027 He has a bit of a grudge against you, I'm afraid. 1358 01:19:37,111 --> 01:19:39,655 Something about a motorbike accident his friends had? 1359 01:19:39,738 --> 01:19:41,031 Why are you doing this? 1360 01:19:41,115 --> 01:19:42,825 I want something nobody else has. 1361 01:19:43,575 --> 01:19:45,452 When my father gifted... 1362 01:19:48,539 --> 01:19:50,249 As I was saying, 1363 01:19:50,332 --> 01:19:53,294 when my father gifted his empire 1364 01:19:53,377 --> 01:19:56,547 to my baby brother... 1365 01:20:02,803 --> 01:20:04,179 Who is that? 1366 01:20:13,105 --> 01:20:15,065 Is that a Ken doll on a moped? 1367 01:20:16,108 --> 01:20:17,776 I know him from somewhere. 1368 01:20:17,860 --> 01:20:19,486 Oh, I-I-I doubt that. 1369 01:20:19,570 --> 01:20:24,867 Because what you are looking at is a highly trained combat specialist, 1370 01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:28,495 forged in the furnaces of Afghanistan, Iraq, 1371 01:20:28,579 --> 01:20:31,123 Kuwait, sa... sarasota... 1372 01:20:31,206 --> 01:20:33,375 Incredible skin. No eczema problems. 1373 01:20:33,459 --> 01:20:37,087 And he will not stop until I am safe! 1374 01:20:37,171 --> 01:20:39,465 So you pull this space tank over, 1375 01:20:39,548 --> 01:20:42,676 unless you would like to perish like his friends did. 1376 01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:46,221 And he is responsible for their perishment. 1377 01:20:46,305 --> 01:20:48,932 He might not have meant to, 1378 01:20:49,016 --> 01:20:52,102 but they... perished, so... 1379 01:21:07,284 --> 01:21:10,371 Okay, who is this? I have seen him somewhere before. 1380 01:21:12,956 --> 01:21:16,043 No, no, no. That's your cover model, isn't it? 1381 01:21:16,126 --> 01:21:18,253 Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere. 1382 01:21:19,380 --> 01:21:20,506 Get up there. 1383 01:21:20,589 --> 01:21:22,091 And kill him creatively. 1384 01:21:22,174 --> 01:21:24,134 I love watching hunks fail. 1385 01:21:26,220 --> 01:21:28,555 I guess I... I will have that drink. 1386 01:21:30,432 --> 01:21:31,809 Oh, shit. 1387 01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:34,478 Is it okay if I just top 'er off? 1388 01:21:34,561 --> 01:21:37,606 Yeah, that's fine, but... Oh, my god, have you used a glass before? 1389 01:21:37,689 --> 01:21:39,191 Sorry. 1390 01:21:39,274 --> 01:21:40,634 What would Jack trainer do? 1391 01:21:42,861 --> 01:21:47,157 It's hot in here. Anyone else feeling how hot it is? 1392 01:21:47,241 --> 01:21:50,244 Are you trying to be sexy? This is very weird. Please, stop. 1393 01:21:50,327 --> 01:21:51,912 I could set your world on fire. 1394 01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:04,925 Go to sleep! Go to sleep! 1395 01:22:05,008 --> 01:22:06,802 Go to sleep! Sleep! 1396 01:22:09,304 --> 01:22:11,181 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 1397 01:22:11,265 --> 01:22:12,391 Time-out. 1398 01:22:12,474 --> 01:22:13,474 Time-in! 1399 01:22:19,440 --> 01:22:21,942 No! Don't shoot her! I need her! 1400 01:22:24,027 --> 01:22:25,654 Oh, Jesus! 1401 01:22:25,737 --> 01:22:26,989 Ow, ow, ow. 1402 01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:33,454 Move your foot! Move your foot! 1403 01:22:36,457 --> 01:22:38,834 Go to sleep, asshole. 1404 01:22:38,917 --> 01:22:40,544 Get out there! Look! 1405 01:22:45,299 --> 01:22:46,467 A bigger guy? 1406 01:22:46,550 --> 01:22:47,801 Oh, no. 1407 01:22:49,386 --> 01:22:50,386 What? 1408 01:22:52,931 --> 01:22:53,931 Move it! 1409 01:22:55,726 --> 01:22:57,769 No, no, no. No, no, no. 1410 01:22:58,645 --> 01:23:00,564 Hey! Get in. 1411 01:23:01,106 --> 01:23:02,106 Him or me? 1412 01:23:06,653 --> 01:23:11,283 This is not one of your cheap, vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta. 1413 01:23:11,366 --> 01:23:13,035 This is real life. 1414 01:23:14,244 --> 01:23:16,121 And we will kill him. 1415 01:23:16,205 --> 01:23:17,831 Tell us where the tomb is. 1416 01:23:32,679 --> 01:23:36,517 Hi. So, whoever's in charge, I need you to send officials to go here. 1417 01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:37,726 Here. 1418 01:23:38,936 --> 01:23:40,729 We are closed. 1419 01:23:40,812 --> 01:23:42,022 You're closed? 1420 01:23:44,441 --> 01:23:47,402 You know I've been trying to take a nap for a year and a half? 1421 01:23:47,486 --> 01:23:48,904 A year and a half. 1422 01:23:50,030 --> 01:23:53,033 I have been burning the candle at both ends, 1423 01:23:53,116 --> 01:23:54,576 the midnight oil, 1424 01:23:54,660 --> 01:23:57,579 since way before my friend got kidnapped. 1425 01:23:57,663 --> 01:23:59,206 And all I want to do 1426 01:23:59,915 --> 01:24:01,542 is kick my feet back 1427 01:24:02,251 --> 01:24:05,462 and drink some wine that I'm probably too tired to drink. 1428 01:24:06,088 --> 01:24:08,215 And I want a massage. 1429 01:24:08,298 --> 01:24:12,928 I want someone to massage my shoulders and my feet, 1430 01:24:13,011 --> 01:24:15,097 and I want it at the same time. 1431 01:24:15,180 --> 01:24:18,892 And I don't care if logistically that doesn't make sense. 1432 01:24:18,976 --> 01:24:21,270 Because I have worked hard. 1433 01:24:22,271 --> 01:24:24,690 The same way that I know that you have. 1434 01:24:25,816 --> 01:24:28,110 So I hate to ask you 1435 01:24:28,193 --> 01:24:30,487 to leave this place open a few more minutes, 1436 01:24:30,571 --> 01:24:32,489 because if we don't, 1437 01:24:32,573 --> 01:24:36,118 a very close friend of mine and her cover model 1438 01:24:36,201 --> 01:24:37,869 are going to die. 1439 01:25:00,976 --> 01:25:02,394 No good way in, boss! 1440 01:25:02,978 --> 01:25:04,479 What about the caves? 1441 01:25:05,314 --> 01:25:06,898 That's too dangerous! 1442 01:25:06,982 --> 01:25:09,651 Well, we'll be very careful then. 1443 01:25:23,415 --> 01:25:24,541 Well, come on! 1444 01:25:29,379 --> 01:25:30,380 This way. 1445 01:25:30,464 --> 01:25:32,859 I have a rule about not going into super creepy caves. 1446 01:25:44,394 --> 01:25:47,356 - Julian? - His name is Julian? 1447 01:25:47,439 --> 01:25:50,150 He seems more like a buck or a Bruce. 1448 01:25:50,233 --> 01:25:51,568 Lead the way. 1449 01:25:55,447 --> 01:25:57,574 Go on. Don't be scared. 1450 01:26:25,644 --> 01:26:29,314 Watch your step there. 1451 01:26:29,398 --> 01:26:30,750 Bruce! 1452 01:26:30,774 --> 01:26:31,876 - Julian. Oh, no! - Julian! 1453 01:26:31,900 --> 01:26:33,610 -[Gasps} -Whoa. 1454 01:26:33,694 --> 01:26:35,612 Oh. 1455 01:26:35,696 --> 01:26:37,114 Well... 1456 01:26:37,989 --> 01:26:39,866 Let's not have his death be in vain. 1457 01:26:40,617 --> 01:26:42,703 - Onward and upward. - What do you mean onward? 1458 01:26:42,786 --> 01:26:45,163 We're not gonna go and get him now, are we? 1459 01:26:45,247 --> 01:26:46,456 Oh, man. 1460 01:26:59,177 --> 01:27:00,804 - It's nothing. - Okay. 1461 01:27:01,430 --> 01:27:05,517 Yeah, let's just go back to the boat. This is over. Nobody else has to die. 1462 01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:07,853 No, no, no. It's a breeze. 1463 01:27:07,936 --> 01:27:10,522 There's a tunnel. This could lead to the tomb. 1464 01:27:10,605 --> 01:27:12,485 - That's not person-sized. - Speak for yourself. 1465 01:27:12,566 --> 01:27:14,693 Come on. It's practically a kiddie slide. 1466 01:27:14,776 --> 01:27:17,237 - More like a rock sphincter. - Or a troll anus. 1467 01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:21,032 Well, you are going through the anus... The hole... the tunnel! 1468 01:27:21,116 --> 01:27:23,243 - Why her? - You are our canary in the coal mine. 1469 01:27:23,326 --> 01:27:24,703 No, that's impossible. I can't. 1470 01:27:24,786 --> 01:27:26,371 Please let us know if you get through. 1471 01:27:26,455 --> 01:27:28,665 If we don't hear from you, fabio's got to die. 1472 01:27:28,749 --> 01:27:30,751 Wait, I'm the damsel in distress? 1473 01:27:31,418 --> 01:27:32,919 It's okay. I'm fine. 1474 01:28:08,789 --> 01:28:11,249 I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't. 1475 01:28:11,333 --> 01:28:12,959 - Hey. - What? 1476 01:28:13,877 --> 01:28:15,086 You smell that? 1477 01:28:15,921 --> 01:28:18,924 You mean centuries worth of bat feces? Yes, I definitely smell that. 1478 01:28:19,007 --> 01:28:21,009 You gotta take a big breath for me. 1479 01:28:26,181 --> 01:28:27,682 There you go. 1480 01:28:27,766 --> 01:28:29,351 You can do it, Loretta. 1481 01:28:42,572 --> 01:28:45,325 I think I see a way out. 1482 01:28:48,954 --> 01:28:50,956 Oh, cheese and rice! 1483 01:28:55,752 --> 01:28:57,003 I made it! 1484 01:28:57,587 --> 01:28:58,713 I made it! 1485 01:28:58,797 --> 01:29:01,174 See? Totally safe. 1486 01:29:02,092 --> 01:29:03,260 Go on. Your turn. 1487 01:29:05,136 --> 01:29:07,556 I'm coming through! Be right there, okay? 1488 01:30:12,287 --> 01:30:14,205 Why would they build this here? 1489 01:30:15,582 --> 01:30:19,085 But how is anyone supposed to worship or remember you if they can't even see it? 1490 01:30:19,169 --> 01:30:20,211 They aren't. 1491 01:30:21,087 --> 01:30:23,757 This isn't a monument to kalaman's power. 1492 01:30:25,175 --> 01:30:27,677 It's a hiding place for a grieving woman. 1493 01:30:28,511 --> 01:30:31,097 Taha came here to be with her fallen lover. 1494 01:30:32,933 --> 01:30:35,977 She just wanted to be alone. 1495 01:30:36,061 --> 01:30:37,562 Taha doesn't want us here. 1496 01:30:37,646 --> 01:30:39,105 God, shut up, rafi. 1497 01:30:39,189 --> 01:30:40,732 It's just the volcano. 1498 01:30:42,609 --> 01:30:43,693 Come on. 1499 01:30:49,282 --> 01:30:50,450 We have to keep going. 1500 01:30:59,042 --> 01:31:00,602 All right. Let's go, muscles. 1501 01:31:01,336 --> 01:31:03,254 Open it up. 1502 01:31:03,338 --> 01:31:05,799 - Don't disturb them. - She will be wearing the headdress. 1503 01:31:05,882 --> 01:31:08,385 Come on. We didn't come all this way just to pay our respects. 1504 01:31:08,468 --> 01:31:09,594 I can't... 1505 01:31:12,973 --> 01:31:14,975 - Uh... - I'm sorry, abue/a. 1506 01:31:36,746 --> 01:31:37,956 What is that? 1507 01:31:39,874 --> 01:31:42,168 Are those... seashells? 1508 01:31:42,919 --> 01:31:45,964 The crown is made of seashells? 1509 01:31:46,047 --> 01:31:47,465 Where's the treasure? 1510 01:31:48,466 --> 01:31:49,759 She's holding him. 1511 01:31:52,804 --> 01:31:54,472 You mean the dead guy? 1512 01:32:01,062 --> 01:32:02,063 Look. 1513 01:32:04,315 --> 01:32:06,026 It's their courtship. 1514 01:32:06,735 --> 01:32:09,696 Kalaman is searching the island for something. 1515 01:32:12,824 --> 01:32:14,576 Rare red seashells. 1516 01:32:15,243 --> 01:32:19,456 To prove his love, he gave her one shell every day for a year 1517 01:32:19,539 --> 01:32:21,291 and made them into a crown, 1518 01:32:21,374 --> 01:32:24,127 bright red like the flame of their love, 1519 01:32:24,210 --> 01:32:27,505 until the day came where she accepted his proposal. 1520 01:32:27,589 --> 01:32:29,591 It was never about jewels. 1521 01:32:29,674 --> 01:32:33,094 Kalaman and taha's riches weren't material. 1522 01:32:35,263 --> 01:32:37,223 It was their love. 1523 01:32:37,307 --> 01:32:39,517 That's what it meant. That was enough. 1524 01:32:39,601 --> 01:32:40,602 So that's it? 1525 01:32:41,561 --> 01:32:44,647 All of that time and money 1526 01:32:45,565 --> 01:32:49,235 spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor? 1527 01:32:49,819 --> 01:32:52,113 - It's a pretty rich metaphor. - Oh, shut up! 1528 01:32:52,197 --> 01:32:54,240 We got to go. We got to go now. 1529 01:32:54,324 --> 01:32:57,535 - Come on. Let's go. - No, no, no. You are staying here. 1530 01:32:57,619 --> 01:32:59,746 You think it's all so sweet and poetic. 1531 01:32:59,829 --> 01:33:02,248 Well, then you can stay here and spend your last moments 1532 01:33:02,332 --> 01:33:04,959 pondering the richness of that metaphor. 1533 01:33:05,752 --> 01:33:07,587 - Get in. - What? Come on, man. 1534 01:33:08,338 --> 01:33:10,924 - Oh, god. Just get in. Get in the tomb. - Okay, okay. 1535 01:33:11,007 --> 01:33:13,593 It's better to be buried alive than buried dead, I guess. 1536 01:33:13,676 --> 01:33:16,888 - It's really not. - You know, it is a shame, really. 1537 01:33:16,971 --> 01:33:18,640 This is a hell of a story. 1538 01:33:19,224 --> 01:33:21,392 Pity you won't be around to tell it. Come on. 1539 01:33:21,476 --> 01:33:22,352 But they'll die. 1540 01:33:22,435 --> 01:33:24,562 So will you if you don't stop being such a snowflake! 1541 01:33:24,646 --> 01:33:25,646 Get over here! 1542 01:33:35,281 --> 01:33:36,116 This is fine. 1543 01:33:36,199 --> 01:33:38,799 This is not an active nightmare I've had since I was 14 years old. 1544 01:33:40,745 --> 01:33:42,372 Ow! 1545 01:33:42,956 --> 01:33:45,834 Why are you going so fast? It's not a race. 1546 01:33:51,131 --> 01:33:53,591 Wait, no! What are you doing? Come back here! 1547 01:33:53,675 --> 01:33:57,971 You may have bought the island, but now the island owns you! 1548 01:33:59,013 --> 01:34:00,390 You can't just leave me here! 1549 01:34:02,433 --> 01:34:04,644 Rafi! Come back! 1550 01:34:07,230 --> 01:34:08,398 I need a boat! 1551 01:34:17,949 --> 01:34:19,826 Hey, hey, stop! Stop! 1552 01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:23,955 Help! Help! 1553 01:34:24,038 --> 01:34:26,249 One of the locals just stole my boat! 1554 01:34:26,332 --> 01:34:31,337 Have you seen a woman? She's a brunette in a sequined jumpsuit. 1555 01:34:31,421 --> 01:34:34,674 No. Is she in some sort of trouble? 1556 01:34:47,020 --> 01:34:48,646 It's kind of funny. 1557 01:34:50,190 --> 01:34:52,025 I used to think this... 1558 01:34:52,108 --> 01:34:54,235 This sort of thing was so romantic. 1559 01:34:54,319 --> 01:34:55,361 Yeah? 1560 01:34:55,862 --> 01:34:58,948 Being locked in a coffin about to be buried by lava, 1561 01:34:59,032 --> 01:35:01,409 or... cuddling dead people? 1562 01:35:02,410 --> 01:35:04,829 Just laying down with a lost love. 1563 01:35:05,371 --> 01:35:06,873 Like taha did. 1564 01:35:09,334 --> 01:35:10,335 God. 1565 01:35:11,085 --> 01:35:12,337 Oh, god. 1566 01:35:12,420 --> 01:35:13,630 I'm sorry. 1567 01:35:15,048 --> 01:35:17,425 I'm sorry that I couldn't save you. 1568 01:35:17,508 --> 01:35:19,260 I'm sorry I couldn't be dash. 1569 01:35:19,886 --> 01:35:21,012 You're right. 1570 01:35:22,347 --> 01:35:24,098 You're nothing like dash. 1571 01:35:24,182 --> 01:35:27,268 You didn't ride in on a white horse to save me. 1572 01:35:27,769 --> 01:35:32,398 You rode in on a... borrowed scooter with a broken muffler. 1573 01:35:33,858 --> 01:35:35,401 Yeah. 1574 01:35:35,902 --> 01:35:38,071 I never could've written a dash like you. 1575 01:35:40,240 --> 01:35:41,866 'Cause I never knew 1576 01:35:42,784 --> 01:35:44,160 a dash like Alan. 1577 01:35:44,869 --> 01:35:47,247 I was so afraid of being hurt by life again 1578 01:35:47,330 --> 01:35:48,831 that I just stopped living. 1579 01:35:48,915 --> 01:35:50,959 Couldn't see the good things in front of me. 1580 01:35:51,584 --> 01:35:54,212 I'm just so sorry I didn't see you sooner. 1581 01:35:55,421 --> 01:35:57,006 I have a confession too. 1582 01:35:57,090 --> 01:36:01,261 See, I was really liking where this new story of ours was headed. 1583 01:36:01,886 --> 01:36:04,722 I just wanted to see how it was gonna turn out, I guess. 1584 01:36:05,640 --> 01:36:07,934 The adventures of I oretta and Alan. 1585 01:36:10,353 --> 01:36:12,313 No, it would need a better title than that. 1586 01:36:12,397 --> 01:36:14,148 Yeah, definitely. Definitely. 1587 01:36:15,525 --> 01:36:18,987 Sorry. Just... taha's femur is poking me. 1588 01:36:22,907 --> 01:36:24,742 Rafi must have left that. 1589 01:36:24,826 --> 01:36:27,453 How do you forget your crowbar? It's gonna help us escape. 1590 01:36:27,537 --> 01:36:29,122 No, he left it on purpose. 1591 01:36:29,205 --> 01:36:30,873 Oh, cool. I always liked him. 1592 01:36:30,957 --> 01:36:32,500 - One... - Okay. 1593 01:36:32,583 --> 01:36:33,876 - Two, three! - Okay. 1594 01:36:35,128 --> 01:36:38,172 I would've preferred him to not leave us here in the first place, but... 1595 01:36:39,048 --> 01:36:40,048 Okay. 1596 01:37:00,820 --> 01:37:02,822 Dulcius ex asperis. 1597 01:37:07,618 --> 01:37:09,120 Sweeter after difficulty. 1598 01:37:15,960 --> 01:37:17,253 Go up! Run for the trees! 1599 01:37:18,755 --> 01:37:21,382 Wait. Nope. Never mind. Trees are on fire. 1600 01:37:21,966 --> 01:37:23,551 Okay. 1601 01:37:25,303 --> 01:37:26,846 We can go back through the tunnel. 1602 01:37:28,097 --> 01:37:29,182 Nope. Tunnel's a no-go. 1603 01:37:34,604 --> 01:37:36,606 Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas. 1604 01:37:37,190 --> 01:37:40,151 There's a current. We can follow it into the ocean. 1605 01:37:40,234 --> 01:37:41,834 How do we know what's on the other side? 1606 01:37:42,362 --> 01:37:43,362 We don't. 1607 01:37:45,323 --> 01:37:47,241 There's only one way to find out. 1608 01:37:48,910 --> 01:37:50,495 - Worth the rash. - Yeah? 1609 01:38:11,432 --> 01:38:12,433 Alan? 1610 01:38:21,025 --> 01:38:22,026 Alan! 1611 01:38:59,605 --> 01:39:00,606 Alan? 1612 01:39:01,274 --> 01:39:03,734 A... Alan? 1613 01:39:04,610 --> 01:39:05,611 Alan! 1614 01:39:08,948 --> 01:39:10,908 Oh, my god! You're alive! 1615 01:39:10,992 --> 01:39:13,119 - I'm alive. - Oh, my god. I thought I killed you. 1616 01:39:16,038 --> 01:39:17,039 Is that Beth? 1617 01:39:17,123 --> 01:39:18,124 Loretta! 1618 01:39:18,958 --> 01:39:20,209 Beth! 1619 01:39:20,293 --> 01:39:21,533 - Beth! - Beth! 1620 01:39:22,003 --> 01:39:23,004 Beth! 1621 01:39:28,843 --> 01:39:30,052 Beth, you're here! 1622 01:39:30,887 --> 01:39:32,180 Why are you here? 1623 01:39:32,263 --> 01:39:35,057 I told you I got your back, girl! 1624 01:39:35,683 --> 01:39:37,602 I'm s 0 so rry! 1625 01:39:37,685 --> 01:39:39,562 I destroyed the jumpsuit! 1626 01:39:40,146 --> 01:39:41,189 What? 1627 01:39:41,772 --> 01:39:43,941 Never mind! Later. 1628 01:39:44,025 --> 01:39:46,068 I found a British guy in a cave. 1629 01:39:46,152 --> 01:39:48,571 I thought he was a little boy, but he has a full beard. 1630 01:39:48,654 --> 01:39:52,033 Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us! 1631 01:39:52,116 --> 01:39:54,619 He's a bad guy, Beth! He killed my trainer! 1632 01:39:54,702 --> 01:39:55,703 Get him! 1633 01:39:56,287 --> 01:39:57,288 Stop him! 1634 01:40:05,546 --> 01:40:07,381 I got your back, girl. 1635 01:40:09,800 --> 01:40:11,844 Where were you running? It's a boat. 1636 01:40:11,928 --> 01:40:13,387 This guy's hilarious. 1637 01:40:13,471 --> 01:40:14,722 Got you. 1638 01:40:15,223 --> 01:40:16,390 Swim over to the rock! 1639 01:40:16,474 --> 01:40:18,851 - I don't got you. No, I got you. - I got you. 1640 01:40:18,935 --> 01:40:20,853 We're gonna get you. It's gonna be okay. 1641 01:40:20,937 --> 01:40:23,481 '7-'inding refuge on a nearby rock, 1642 01:40:23,564 --> 01:40:25,733 he lifted her from the water, 1643 01:40:25,816 --> 01:40:28,819 his powerful arms pulling her body close. 1644 01:40:28,903 --> 01:40:30,154 Alan whispered... ” 1645 01:40:30,238 --> 01:40:32,657 Shh. You're safe now. 1646 01:40:35,368 --> 01:40:39,747 ”/n that moment, Loretta could feel a new adventure was just beginning. ” 1647 01:40:41,249 --> 01:40:44,001 "The heart-pounding passion of the narrow escape 1648 01:40:44,085 --> 01:40:47,004 only inflamed Loretta's desire for him. 1649 01:40:47,088 --> 01:40:51,425 She was thirsty for the hot lava soon to be pulsing from his..." 1650 01:40:51,509 --> 01:40:54,762 Don't you go stopping right at the good part. 1651 01:40:55,972 --> 01:40:57,974 It's nothing she hasn't read before. 1652 01:40:58,057 --> 01:40:59,559 Didn't I tell you? 1653 01:40:59,642 --> 01:41:02,645 The most beautiful beach in the world. 1654 01:41:02,728 --> 01:41:05,940 Maybe later, I'll show you the cove of enchantment? 1655 01:41:06,023 --> 01:41:07,900 No, you can take Randy. 1656 01:41:07,984 --> 01:41:11,529 Remember, you are my platonic man friend. 1657 01:41:11,612 --> 01:41:14,115 Platonic? I like the sound of that. 1658 01:41:14,782 --> 01:41:17,451 Not sure what it means, but I like the sound of it. 1659 01:41:17,535 --> 01:41:19,745 Here you go, Randy. 1660 01:41:21,455 --> 01:41:23,666 - My dear. - You are an angel. Thank you. 1661 01:41:24,375 --> 01:41:25,710 How did you know? 1662 01:41:37,847 --> 01:41:40,308 - Nice way to end a book tour, right? - Mm-hmm. 1663 01:41:41,225 --> 01:41:42,852 Um... 1664 01:41:42,935 --> 01:41:47,523 You know, I have a phrase I like to use in moments like these, actually. 1665 01:41:50,109 --> 01:41:51,360 Ouid deinde? 1666 01:41:52,778 --> 01:41:55,656 It's Latin. It means, "what's next?" 1667 01:41:57,783 --> 01:41:59,243 Ouid cogitas? 1668 01:41:59,327 --> 01:42:00,661 Mmm. 1669 01:42:01,454 --> 01:42:02,705 Buca di beppo. 1670 01:42:06,167 --> 01:42:07,877 - Yeah. I know zero other Latin. - No. Yes. 1671 01:42:08,544 --> 01:42:10,546 I looked it up for this moment right now. 1672 01:42:11,756 --> 01:42:13,799 So, what does come next? 1673 01:42:13,883 --> 01:42:15,926 - How would you write this? - I don't know. 1674 01:42:16,594 --> 01:42:19,138 - How would you write it? - Do we really want me to write this? 1675 01:42:19,221 --> 01:42:21,474 - Just try. Take a stab at it. - Okay. I'll write it. 1676 01:42:21,557 --> 01:42:22,808 Okay. 1677 01:42:22,892 --> 01:42:26,145 "We were... They were... standing on a beach." 1678 01:42:26,228 --> 01:42:28,248 Sets the stage for the audience. They know where we are. 1679 01:42:28,272 --> 01:42:30,125 You're already laughing. Why are you laughing at me? 1680 01:42:30,149 --> 01:42:31,942 - I'm not laughing. I'm smiling. - You are. 1681 01:42:32,026 --> 01:42:35,821 "There are palm trees above a brown 1682 01:42:36,822 --> 01:42:39,450 bark-like hair of the maiden. 1683 01:42:39,533 --> 01:42:40,719 There is a dead jellyfish..." 1684 01:42:40,743 --> 01:42:43,496 All you're doing is describing what you're actually seeing right now. 1685 01:42:44,121 --> 01:42:46,707 "He's nervous because he really likes her." 1686 01:42:47,792 --> 01:42:49,210 It's nice writing. 1687 01:42:50,002 --> 01:42:51,212 - Thanks. - You're welcome. 1688 01:42:51,295 --> 01:42:52,463 I'll keep going. 1689 01:42:52,546 --> 01:42:54,215 "He looked deep in her eyes. 1690 01:42:54,298 --> 01:42:57,385 The only thing that could compare to the pulse of that ocean 1691 01:42:58,302 --> 01:42:59,470 was the throbbing in the..." 1692 01:42:59,553 --> 01:43:02,765 - Okay, no, you can't throb. - Why not? 1693 01:43:02,848 --> 01:43:04,767 Can't come out of the gate with a throb. 1694 01:43:04,850 --> 01:43:07,079 - You throb all the time. - I don't come out of the gate with it. 1695 01:43:07,103 --> 01:43:09,414 - You have to earn the throb. - Who made you the queen of throb? 1696 01:43:09,438 --> 01:43:12,775 It's usually a chapter four thing. You want it brought up appropriately in four. 1697 01:43:12,858 --> 01:43:15,069 I think you throb in all the chapters. "Pulsating." 1698 01:43:15,152 --> 01:43:17,029 It's a precursor to throb. 1699 01:43:17,113 --> 01:43:19,365 - "Undulating." - you just jumped to five. 1700 01:43:19,949 --> 01:43:22,427 - How 'bout they just kiss? Why not? - Just like a regular kiss? 1701 01:43:22,451 --> 01:43:24,131 Yeah. Like a beginning-of-the-chapter kiss. 1702 01:43:24,161 --> 01:43:25,663 I'm good at starting... 1703 01:43:29,750 --> 01:43:31,085 How was that? Any notes? 1704 01:43:31,961 --> 01:43:35,297 Very good first chapter attempt. 1705 01:43:38,592 --> 01:43:40,886 .I' / can tell you got big, big energy j” 1706 01:43:40,970 --> 01:43:43,055 j” it ain't too many of 'em that can handle me j” 1707 01:43:43,139 --> 01:43:45,099 j” but / might let you try it oh' the henness y j” 1708 01:43:45,141 --> 01:43:47,518 j” make 'em sang to this thing like a melody j” 1709 01:43:47,601 --> 01:43:49,979 j” and if your girl ain't rr'ght I got the remedy j” 1710 01:43:50,062 --> 01:43:52,440 j” it ain't too many of 'em that can handle me j” 1711 01:43:52,523 --> 01:43:55,067 j” bad chick I could be your fantasy j” 1712 01:43:55,151 --> 01:43:56,485 j” tell me how you want itj” 1713 01:43:56,569 --> 01:43:58,028 j” three, two, one, and I'm on itj” 1714 01:43:58,112 --> 01:44:00,614 j” feel good, don'tit? Hood chick, you in a bonnet j” 1715 01:44:00,698 --> 01:44:02,700 j” I'ma bust it on a pole like onyx j” 1716 01:44:02,783 --> 01:44:05,828 j” / 'm just being honest juicy, minute maid j” 1717 01:44:05,911 --> 01:44:07,580 j” but can't do it one minute, man j” 1718 01:44:07,663 --> 01:44:10,291 j” not a side or a main I'm the only one he entertain j” 1719 01:44:10,374 --> 01:44:12,293 j” spending his mine in the bank j” 1720 01:44:12,376 --> 01:44:16,172 j” / like what / see a boss like you need a boss like me j” 1721 01:44:16,255 --> 01:44:18,257 j” daddy from the street so he move low keyj” 1722 01:44:18,340 --> 01:44:20,718 j” tiyna ride that mic like karaoke j” 1723 01:44:20,801 --> 01:44:23,220 j” on the count of three bad, get money j” 1724 01:44:23,304 --> 01:44:25,473 .i” broke to the left we don't want it j” 1725 01:44:25,556 --> 01:44:27,868 j” I'm the one they love to hate but they can't get past j” 1726 01:44:27,892 --> 01:44:30,895 j” pretty face, no waist and a big old back j” 1727 01:44:30,978 --> 01:44:32,813 j” bad chick I could be your fantasy j” 1728 01:44:32,897 --> 01:44:35,232 j” / can tell you got big, big energy j” 1729 01:44:35,316 --> 01:44:37,485 j” it ain't too many of 'em that can handle me j” 1730 01:44:37,568 --> 01:44:39,570 j” but / might let you try it oh' the henness y j” 1731 01:44:39,653 --> 01:44:41,906 j” make 'em sing to this thing like a melody j” 1732 01:44:41,989 --> 01:44:44,241 j” and if your girl ain't right I got the remedy j” 1733 01:44:44,325 --> 01:44:46,535 j” it ain't too many of 'em that can handle me j” 1734 01:44:46,619 --> 01:44:48,954 j” bad chick I could be your fantasy j” 1735 01:44:49,038 --> 01:44:52,541 j” got that real big energy... j” 1736 01:45:00,508 --> 01:45:01,634 Psst! 1737 01:45:02,676 --> 01:45:03,803 Psst. 1738 01:45:05,596 --> 01:45:06,639 Psst. 1739 01:45:08,140 --> 01:45:09,141 Mother... 1740 01:45:09,725 --> 01:45:11,101 You were dead. 1741 01:45:11,185 --> 01:45:14,104 Your brains came out of your face and hit the back of my throat. 1742 01:45:14,688 --> 01:45:16,750 - He was in my mouth. - Don't say he was in your mouth. 1743 01:45:16,774 --> 01:45:18,376 - I could taste you. - Don't ever say that. 1744 01:45:18,400 --> 01:45:23,030 We only use 10% of our brain, so I just switched to another 10%. 1745 01:45:23,781 --> 01:45:26,617 So... so, you're okay? 1746 01:45:26,700 --> 01:45:28,410 One hundred percent. 1747 01:45:28,494 --> 01:45:30,120 Meaning 10%. 1748 01:45:30,704 --> 01:45:31,914 We thought you were dead. 1749 01:45:31,997 --> 01:45:34,708 Naturally, I have some anger issues I need to let go of. 1750 01:45:34,792 --> 01:45:37,002 - Oh, of course. - And resentment. 1751 01:45:37,086 --> 01:45:39,046 Oh. 1752 01:45:39,129 --> 01:45:40,506 So good to see you, man. 1753 01:45:40,589 --> 01:45:42,800 Okay, let's keep the chatter down. 1754 01:45:42,883 --> 01:45:46,887 We're closing our eyes and reconnecting to our breath. 1755 01:45:47,972 --> 01:45:49,098 Great. 1756 01:45:49,890 --> 01:45:50,891 Great.