1
00:00:45,092 --> 00:00:46,552
You're incredible.
2
00:00:47,344 --> 00:00:49,346
My heart is still racing.
3
00:00:50,931 --> 00:00:52,891
I felt it too.
4
00:00:52,975 --> 00:00:54,935
All thanks to your brute strength, dash,
5
00:00:55,519 --> 00:00:58,188
and your knowledge
of ancient aramaic mathematics.
6
00:00:58,272 --> 00:01:01,191
Please. This has nothing to do
with my two doctorates
7
00:01:01,275 --> 00:01:03,110
and my master's in gender studies
8
00:01:04,236 --> 00:01:06,947
and everything to do with you,
Dr. Lovemore.
9
00:01:07,531 --> 00:01:08,740
The truth is,
10
00:01:09,533 --> 00:01:12,035
I never thought
I would find the lost city of d.
11
00:01:12,119 --> 00:01:14,121
I would choose your words carefully.
12
00:01:14,204 --> 00:01:16,915
They will be your last.
13
00:01:17,499 --> 00:01:20,752
You led me right to king kalaman's tomb
14
00:01:20,836 --> 00:01:24,381
and his queen's legendary crown of fire.
15
00:01:24,464 --> 00:01:26,842
And now I will be very rich,
16
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:30,095
and you will be very dead.
17
00:01:31,054 --> 00:01:34,558
Hold up. Are these your snakes?
18
00:01:34,641 --> 00:01:36,435
No, they were just here.
19
00:01:36,518 --> 00:01:38,895
There were just hundreds of snakes
in this temple
20
00:01:38,979 --> 00:01:40,856
just waiting for us to show up?
21
00:01:40,939 --> 00:01:43,139
- Who feeds them? You feed them?
- No, what do they eat?
22
00:01:43,191 --> 00:01:45,511
Why is that one not biting that guy?
Why is that happening?
23
00:01:45,569 --> 00:01:47,422
Are they trained not to bite henchmen
or something?
24
00:01:47,446 --> 00:01:48,447
Yeah, well...
25
00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:50,758
I mean, the snake-to-temple ratio alone...
26
00:01:50,782 --> 00:01:53,076
This is ridiculous. Delete.
27
00:01:53,952 --> 00:01:56,288
I think my character can still work.
28
00:01:56,371 --> 00:01:57,372
Delete.
29
00:01:58,373 --> 00:02:00,250
Loretta, you still have a story to write.
30
00:02:01,126 --> 00:02:02,127
Delete.
31
00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:06,590
Hey, its me, bet/7.
32
00:02:06,673 --> 00:02:09,384
I don't want to pull the whole
”I'm your publisher” card, but / am.
33
00:02:09,468 --> 00:02:11,779
And I'm really looking forward
to seeing this last chapter.
34
00:02:11,803 --> 00:02:14,097
But no pressure.
No, there actually is pressure.
35
00:02:14,181 --> 00:02:18,018
The exact amount of pressure that
motivates you but doesn't paralyze you.
36
00:02:18,101 --> 00:02:19,811
You got this.
37
00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,189
Thank you.
38
00:02:23,398 --> 00:02:24,399
Ll/le again.
39
00:02:24,483 --> 00:02:26,360
Okay, so everything
is set for the book tour,
40
00:02:26,443 --> 00:02:29,279
but, uh, the only thing we need
is a book to tour with.
41
00:02:29,363 --> 00:02:31,633
I can't help but get the feeling
that you're not finishing
42
00:02:31,657 --> 00:02:34,284
because you don't want
to leave your house.
43
00:02:34,868 --> 00:02:39,414
Listen, lknow these last five years
have been hard after John is passing,
44
00:02:39,498 --> 00:02:42,793
and it feels easier
to live in your bathtub,
45
00:02:42,876 --> 00:02:44,836
drinking chardonnay on ice.
46
00:02:45,796 --> 00:02:48,590
But, girl, there is a great big world
waiting for you
47
00:02:48,674 --> 00:02:51,510
and a book tour that / can't cancel,
so just make it happen, all right?
48
00:02:51,593 --> 00:02:52,636
Love you, bye!
49
00:03:11,947 --> 00:03:13,240
We have to keep going.
50
00:03:14,366 --> 00:03:16,326
Let's see what's on the other side
of that door.
51
00:03:17,035 --> 00:03:18,912
But what if there isn't anything?
52
00:03:19,746 --> 00:03:21,707
There's only one way to find out.
53
00:03:22,833 --> 00:03:24,793
Then lovemore realized
54
00:03:24,876 --> 00:03:27,254
the treasure she wanted was lost forever
55
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:29,631
and her adventures were coming to an end.
56
00:03:29,715 --> 00:03:30,924
That doesn't feel right.
57
00:03:31,007 --> 00:03:32,801
Yeah, but that's it.
58
00:03:32,884 --> 00:03:34,177
That's the end.
59
00:03:43,311 --> 00:03:44,730
Well, John,
60
00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:46,648
here I go.
61
00:03:46,732 --> 00:03:48,734
Dulcius ex asperis.
62
00:03:55,699 --> 00:03:57,117
Okay, honey, it's showtime.
63
00:03:57,200 --> 00:03:58,428
Are you sure about this?
64
00:03:58,452 --> 00:04:02,080
Because I have a wedgie in the back
and in the front in this thing.
65
00:04:02,164 --> 00:04:04,416
I feel like a nerdy figure skater.
66
00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:07,169
- Sexy. Stunner. I'm all about it.
- No, it's not. It's not.
67
00:04:07,252 --> 00:04:09,004
- How do I move in this?
- Don't touch it.
68
00:04:09,087 --> 00:04:11,691
- I'm not touching it. I'm holding it out.
- Stop it. Will you stop?
69
00:04:11,715 --> 00:04:13,759
Get it out now
'cause you can't do that onstage.
70
00:04:14,342 --> 00:04:16,511
And we're done. And we're done.
Okay, good.
71
00:04:16,595 --> 00:04:20,140
- Do I need to be wearing a glitter onesie?
- You only have to wear this for two hours.
72
00:04:20,223 --> 00:04:22,303
Do not mess this up, do you hear me?
This is on loan.
73
00:04:22,350 --> 00:04:24,352
Everyone's wearing sequins right now.
74
00:04:25,771 --> 00:04:27,898
- Why is she taking my photo?
- This is Allison.
75
00:04:27,981 --> 00:04:30,400
She is our new social media manager.
76
00:04:30,484 --> 00:04:33,320
And she's gonna be helping us target
that younger demographic.
77
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:35,822
Meaning women in their 303
who wish they were in their 203.
78
00:04:35,906 --> 00:04:37,073
Hey, what's up?
79
00:04:37,157 --> 00:04:40,952
Um, I took over your socials,
so this morning you tweeted,
80
00:04:41,036 --> 00:04:46,082
"where are my ladies at?
Meet me at ballroom g at 5:00 pm.
81
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,751
#shawnmendes.
82
00:04:47,834 --> 00:04:50,170
#gaggingtomeetyouall."
83
00:04:50,796 --> 00:04:53,507
Okay, we are having fun. Let's go.
84
00:04:54,508 --> 00:04:56,444
We need to remind people
that you are still alive.
85
00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:57,928
People know I'm alive.
86
00:04:58,011 --> 00:05:01,223
And to remind them why this used to be
the best selling franchise.
87
00:05:01,306 --> 00:05:02,307
In romance.
88
00:05:02,390 --> 00:05:05,101
Yes, which is the top
revenue-generating literary category.
89
00:05:05,185 --> 00:05:07,905
Revenue-generating isn't how
I would describe our presales right now.
90
00:05:07,938 --> 00:05:10,148
Just think of this as a way
that uses word of mouth.
91
00:05:10,232 --> 00:05:12,043
You want word of mouth?
Here we go. How's this?
92
00:05:12,067 --> 00:05:14,736
"The only thing more lost than the city
is the author herself."
93
00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:16,488
"Loveless." "passionless."
94
00:05:16,571 --> 00:05:20,575
"Way past her prime."
And, "this is fake history at its worst."
95
00:05:20,659 --> 00:05:22,911
A book tour could change everything, okay?
96
00:05:22,994 --> 00:05:25,413
We have to remind the fans
why they love you so much.
97
00:05:25,497 --> 00:05:29,042
Real history. I merely season it
with a smidge more nudity.
98
00:05:29,125 --> 00:05:31,127
History had a ton of nudity.
99
00:05:32,212 --> 00:05:34,130
Deep exp/oration.
100
00:05:34,714 --> 00:05:36,132
Steamy wondering.
101
00:05:37,133 --> 00:05:41,346
I/I/I/I lovemore and dash fl'nd
queen taha is priceless crown of fire?
102
00:05:42,055 --> 00:05:43,932
Join them on their search.
103
00:05:44,015 --> 00:05:46,202
So, listen, I wanted
to talk to you about something.
104
00:05:46,226 --> 00:05:47,328
There's so many people.
105
00:05:47,352 --> 00:05:49,688
I know how much you hate
doing these things,
106
00:05:49,771 --> 00:05:52,482
so I've invited Alan
to do the q and a with you today.
107
00:05:52,566 --> 00:05:54,401
- What?
- And the rest of the book tour.
108
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:57,612
Beth, I expressly asked not to do
any more events with dash... Alan, Alan!
109
00:05:57,696 --> 00:06:00,532
- He's gonna humiliate me.
- He's not gonna humiliate you.
110
00:06:00,615 --> 00:06:03,493
Thank you. You're very good at your job.
Thank you so much. Thank you.
111
00:06:03,577 --> 00:06:04,887
Let me help you with that.
112
00:06:04,911 --> 00:06:08,874
He's a body wash commercial.
He's always glistening all over the place.
113
00:06:08,957 --> 00:06:11,835
There hasn't been an event
where his shirt didn't come flying off.
114
00:06:11,918 --> 00:06:13,604
- You wish.
- Well, he's already here,
115
00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:15,922
so put on your big-girl panties
and let's get out there.
116
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:19,050
Remember, no grumpy face,
big words or boring academic talk.
117
00:06:19,134 --> 00:06:22,470
Yes! Yes!
118
00:06:22,554 --> 00:06:24,431
Come on, rtp!
119
00:06:24,514 --> 00:06:26,057
Ha-ha!
120
00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:28,476
Yes, my lovemore-heads!
121
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,813
I am so excited to introduce to you
122
00:06:31,897 --> 00:06:36,067
the award-winning author, Loretta sage!
123
00:06:36,151 --> 00:06:38,653
- Beth, I can't do this. I'm not ready.
- Are you kidding me?
124
00:06:38,737 --> 00:06:41,990
Listen, I've got your back. You got this.
Go give the people what they want.
125
00:06:42,073 --> 00:06:43,950
- It's not me they want.
- Get out there now!
126
00:06:46,620 --> 00:06:50,165
Hi. How are you?
Nice to see you. Thank you.
127
00:06:55,629 --> 00:06:57,255
Yep. Mount it.
128
00:07:00,258 --> 00:07:02,677
Mount it. Mount it. Okay.
129
00:07:02,761 --> 00:07:04,638
Find your center.
130
00:07:04,721 --> 00:07:07,515
And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for.
131
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:10,077
- The sexiest...
- All right!
132
00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:14,314
Most influential hero of a generation.
133
00:07:14,397 --> 00:07:15,398
That's a bit strong.
134
00:07:15,482 --> 00:07:18,026
His 20th cover
of an Angela lovemore novel.
135
00:07:18,610 --> 00:07:20,904
Dash McMahon!
136
00:07:26,451 --> 00:07:28,912
Oh, my god! Dash!
137
00:07:51,726 --> 00:07:53,979
- Take a bow.
- I already did mine. I did mine.
138
00:07:54,062 --> 00:07:56,690
Okay, come on. One more. I got you.
139
00:08:11,955 --> 00:08:13,748
Did you guys rehearse that? Oh, my god.
140
00:08:13,832 --> 00:08:17,502
I'm loving this chemistry between you two,
and I got to say,
141
00:08:17,585 --> 00:08:19,796
I love this book.
142
00:08:19,879 --> 00:08:21,065
- Oh, thank you, ray.
- Thank...
143
00:08:21,089 --> 00:08:22,382
Spoiler alert.
144
00:08:22,465 --> 00:08:26,011
A really bold choice to not have them
go into the tomb at the end.
145
00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:27,494
Talk about what went into this one.
146
00:08:27,554 --> 00:08:31,224
This one's such a special book
for me personally.
147
00:08:31,307 --> 00:08:34,144
I don't know how to say
how much it means to me
148
00:08:34,227 --> 00:08:36,396
that Loretta, word writer extraordinaire,
149
00:08:36,479 --> 00:08:39,357
has named the book after me.
150
00:08:39,441 --> 00:08:41,276
The lost city of dash.
151
00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:42,569
The lost city of d.
152
00:08:42,652 --> 00:08:44,946
Um, but that's not what the d stands for.
153
00:08:45,030 --> 00:08:46,364
It's d for "dick," right?
154
00:08:46,448 --> 00:08:47,808
No dick, no.
155
00:08:47,866 --> 00:08:51,036
It's based on the name of an ancient
tribe, dapocagihou-dysphem-ica.
156
00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:55,665
Um, it was too difficult
for the European colonizers to pronounce,
157
00:08:55,749 --> 00:08:57,810
- so, in true colonial fashion...
- No one cares about this.
158
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:58,835
They abbreviated it.
159
00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:00,086
That's so interesting.
160
00:09:00,170 --> 00:09:03,131
Okay. How about we take some questions
from the audience?
161
00:09:03,214 --> 00:09:05,216
- Right here, handsome!
- Yes.
162
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:08,636
Dash, what's your favorite
romantic moment?
163
00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,096
Ooh.
164
00:09:10,180 --> 00:09:13,850
What I would really like to know is what
is Loretta's favorite romantic moment?
165
00:09:13,933 --> 00:09:15,894
Ooh, spicy.
166
00:09:15,977 --> 00:09:20,815
Oh, uh... well, being a sapiosexual...
167
00:09:20,899 --> 00:09:23,068
Oh, is that when they do the snakes
around the...
168
00:09:23,151 --> 00:09:26,571
No. That's someone who finds intellect
169
00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:31,117
or intelligence very sexy, you know.
170
00:09:31,201 --> 00:09:32,285
Same.
171
00:09:32,994 --> 00:09:33,995
Really?
172
00:09:34,079 --> 00:09:36,289
Dash! Rip off your shirt!
173
00:09:36,873 --> 00:09:40,668
No, no, no. We're not gonna do that today.
We're here for Loretta's book.
174
00:09:40,752 --> 00:09:42,587
Do we have questions for Loretta?
175
00:09:43,505 --> 00:09:47,759
Uh, yes, studious-looking young lady?
What would you like to ask me?
176
00:09:47,842 --> 00:09:49,928
Can you rip off dash's shirt?
177
00:09:51,513 --> 00:09:54,390
No, we're not gonna do this again. Sorry.
178
00:09:54,474 --> 00:09:56,935
Rip it off! Rip it off!
Rip it off! Rip it off!
179
00:09:57,018 --> 00:09:59,479
Rip it off! Rip it off! Rip it off!
180
00:09:59,562 --> 00:10:02,982
Of course. Of course, yes. Can do.
181
00:10:03,691 --> 00:10:05,401
Like, is this happening?
182
00:10:05,485 --> 00:10:07,362
- You don't have to do this.
- Oh, we have to.
183
00:10:07,445 --> 00:10:09,572
We have to give the people what they want.
Yes, yes.
184
00:10:09,656 --> 00:10:12,367
We have to give the people
what they want, yes.
185
00:10:12,450 --> 00:10:14,828
Ladies and gentlemen, enjoy.
186
00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:20,500
Because the lost city of d
is dash's final adventure.
187
00:10:20,583 --> 00:10:22,710
If there even is a next book,
188
00:10:22,794 --> 00:10:25,755
it will open with lovemore
receiving the tragic news
189
00:10:25,839 --> 00:10:28,133
of his untimely death.
190
00:10:28,216 --> 00:10:29,509
What?
191
00:10:29,592 --> 00:10:31,445
- Shit. I'm sorry. My smartwatch is stuck.
- Hold on.
192
00:10:31,469 --> 00:10:32,595
I know. Don't pull it.
193
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:34,055
It's okay. Just be real still.
194
00:10:34,139 --> 00:10:35,825
- No. That's pulling it.
- You're pulling it.
195
00:10:35,849 --> 00:10:38,143
You're gonna rip my wig off.
No, you can't...
196
00:10:42,647 --> 00:10:43,648
Oh, my!
197
00:10:43,731 --> 00:10:45,334
- Oh, my god.
- Is he okay?
198
00:10:45,358 --> 00:10:46,943
God, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
199
00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:48,695
I'm so sorry.
200
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:49,839
You're a bad person.
201
00:10:49,863 --> 00:10:53,783
Stick around for the costume contest
at 6:00 pm.
202
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,328
"If there is another book"?
203
00:10:57,412 --> 00:11:02,375
I'm investing everything we've got
into this tour, okay?
204
00:11:02,458 --> 00:11:05,628
I just don't think I have another
dash and lovemore adventure in me.
205
00:11:05,712 --> 00:11:07,213
How does dash die?
206
00:11:07,297 --> 00:11:09,507
- Was it the snakes?
- No.
207
00:11:09,591 --> 00:11:12,051
Okay, so I have something
that I have to take care of.
208
00:11:12,135 --> 00:11:14,512
You guys have an interview
in the next suite in ten minutes.
209
00:11:14,596 --> 00:11:16,931
So can you please do me a favor
and be grown-ups
210
00:11:17,015 --> 00:11:18,495
and get yourselves there on your own?
211
00:11:18,558 --> 00:11:19,767
Okay. Thank you so much.
212
00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:22,478
Does he die from a staph infection?
213
00:11:24,814 --> 00:11:26,608
It is a staph infection. I knew it.
214
00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:29,194
I-I... all right.
215
00:11:29,277 --> 00:11:32,614
Look, lgetfi
if you need a break or something,
216
00:11:32,697 --> 00:11:34,782
- but you can't just kill me, okay?
- Okay.
217
00:11:34,866 --> 00:11:39,162
I hate that I have to ask this,
but you do know you're not dash, right?
218
00:11:39,245 --> 00:11:41,289
Dash is a character I made up.
219
00:11:41,372 --> 00:11:42,624
Dash?
220
00:11:46,169 --> 00:11:47,754
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
221
00:11:50,715 --> 00:11:53,092
- Loretta, it's this way.
- No, I think it's this way.
222
00:11:53,176 --> 00:11:55,428
Can't you see that
dash means so much to people?
223
00:11:55,511 --> 00:11:57,305
- Means so much to you.
- Not to me.
224
00:11:57,388 --> 00:11:59,224
Well, yeah, to me,
but to other people too.
225
00:11:59,307 --> 00:12:02,310
- What about Beth?
- You know what? Beth is gonna be fine.
226
00:12:02,393 --> 00:12:06,064
She's gonna find plenty
fresh, young writers full of great ideas.
227
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:08,191
You can transition gracefully
228
00:12:08,274 --> 00:12:10,526
into the shirt-on phase
of your modeling career,
229
00:12:10,610 --> 00:12:12,070
and I can be left alone.
230
00:12:12,153 --> 00:12:13,863
Everybody is happy.
231
00:12:13,947 --> 00:12:15,281
No, it's this way.
232
00:12:16,032 --> 00:12:17,927
Beth says you don't even
leave the house anymore.
233
00:12:17,951 --> 00:12:19,911
I don't feel like that's very happy.
234
00:12:19,994 --> 00:12:23,039
You should be going out in the world,
filling yourself up on new experiences.
235
00:12:23,122 --> 00:12:25,458
I'm already filled up.
I'm full. I'm fully satiated.
236
00:12:25,541 --> 00:12:28,795
Why would you want to be stuck at home
alone when you could see the world?
237
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,358
You could be visiting ancient Greece.
238
00:12:30,421 --> 00:12:33,341
How could I visit ancient Greece?
239
00:12:33,424 --> 00:12:35,510
I get it. Because you're afraid of flying.
240
00:12:35,593 --> 00:12:38,972
No. Because ancient Greece is in the past.
241
00:12:39,055 --> 00:12:40,556
Just like dash.
242
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,143
Okay. You want to know who else
is stuck in the past? You are.
243
00:12:44,227 --> 00:12:46,830
You're so afraid of life hurting you again
that you've stopped living.
244
00:12:46,854 --> 00:12:48,982
You're like a human mummy.
245
00:12:50,608 --> 00:12:52,610
I didn't, um...
246
00:12:55,321 --> 00:12:57,156
Mummies are human.
247
00:13:06,541 --> 00:13:08,543
Stupid... oh, crap.
248
00:13:09,794 --> 00:13:11,794
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry.
I... I will clean this up.
249
00:13:11,838 --> 00:13:14,549
I am not a litterer, I...
I... I assure you that.
250
00:13:14,632 --> 00:13:17,844
Do you, um... do you think you could
call a car for me, please?
251
00:13:17,927 --> 00:13:19,304
Thank you. Thank you.
252
00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:23,516
Bring the car around.
253
00:13:23,599 --> 00:13:25,244
God, is that someone's retainer?
254
00:13:25,268 --> 00:13:27,520
I've never said the right thing
one time around her.
255
00:13:27,603 --> 00:13:29,772
I get nervous because she opens her mouth,
256
00:13:29,856 --> 00:13:34,027
and just an encyclopedia of beautifulness
comes out, and I just never say...
257
00:13:34,110 --> 00:13:35,528
You know she's trying to kill me?
258
00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:37,864
I just need those tomatoes.
259
00:13:37,947 --> 00:13:40,199
You're right. No, you're right.
260
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:41,951
I should apologize. Thank you, man.
261
00:13:42,035 --> 00:13:44,155
- I appreciate that very, very much.
- You're welcome.
262
00:13:54,297 --> 00:13:56,299
Uh, Loretta sage. Yeah.
263
00:14:04,098 --> 00:14:05,099
Hiya.
264
00:14:05,183 --> 00:14:07,060
Uh, I did not order an uberpool.
265
00:14:07,143 --> 00:14:10,146
Someone wants to meet you.
We'll have you right back.
266
00:14:15,193 --> 00:14:16,069
Loretta!
267
00:14:16,152 --> 00:14:17,528
Loretta! Loretta?
268
00:14:20,656 --> 00:14:21,696
Uh, Loretta?
269
00:14:22,617 --> 00:14:24,452
- Did you say "Loretta"?
- Yeah.
270
00:14:25,244 --> 00:14:26,537
- Follow that SUV, man.
- No.
271
00:14:26,621 --> 00:14:27,848
- Come on, please!
- No, no, no.
272
00:14:27,872 --> 00:14:31,584
I'm not helping any more
handsome strangers. Fool me once. Mm-mmm.
273
00:14:32,168 --> 00:14:34,879
What is this, taken? Am I "tooken"?
274
00:14:34,962 --> 00:14:36,506
Am I sold already?
275
00:14:36,589 --> 00:14:39,634
Am I... Am I sold to him?
276
00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:42,637
- Ow. Stop.
- Oh, no. Did this fee! Creepy?
277
00:14:43,429 --> 00:14:46,057
I said don't make it creepy, guys.
278
00:14:46,641 --> 00:14:48,184
I'm so sorry about the setting.
279
00:14:48,267 --> 00:14:50,812
I just flew in.
I was in a real panic to meet you.
280
00:14:50,895 --> 00:14:53,022
I didn't have time
to dress the place up much.
281
00:14:53,106 --> 00:14:55,900
I read you love cheese,
so I just got them all.
282
00:14:55,983 --> 00:14:59,821
Are you the one who's been emailing me
for photos of my feet?
283
00:14:59,904 --> 00:15:01,697
No, um...
284
00:15:01,781 --> 00:15:06,035
And I promise what I'm about to show you
is gonna make you very happy.
285
00:15:06,911 --> 00:15:10,873
But first, a little bit about
the mysterious rogue you see before you.
286
00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:14,085
Uh, my name is Abigail Fairfax.
287
00:15:14,168 --> 00:15:15,169
Abigail?
288
00:15:15,253 --> 00:15:17,231
It's a gender-neutral name,
like Leslie or Beverly.
289
00:15:17,255 --> 00:15:20,633
Yes, but you're Abigail Fairfax
of the media-mogul fairfaxes?
290
00:15:21,592 --> 00:15:25,096
Didn't you just take
over your company or...
291
00:15:25,179 --> 00:15:29,142
No, that was my brother, actually.
That was Leslie. We're all very proud.
292
00:15:29,225 --> 00:15:32,186
Ah, yes, I should say so,
at such a young age to...
293
00:15:32,270 --> 00:15:34,230
Some might even say too young.
294
00:15:34,313 --> 00:15:37,024
But that world never really interested me.
295
00:15:37,108 --> 00:15:39,861
My passions, as you may know,
296
00:15:39,944 --> 00:15:42,905
lie in the hidden things in the world,
297
00:15:42,989 --> 00:15:45,616
things which defy possession.
298
00:15:46,492 --> 00:15:48,995
Some might call me a collector.
299
00:15:49,078 --> 00:15:52,748
But there is one obsession in particular
300
00:15:52,832 --> 00:15:54,709
that has held me captive.
301
00:15:55,877 --> 00:15:57,503
The crown of fire
302
00:15:57,587 --> 00:16:00,089
and its cascading red diamonds.
303
00:16:00,173 --> 00:16:01,382
Is this a...
304
00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:03,801
Is this a hidden-camera thing?
305
00:16:03,885 --> 00:16:07,430
So imagine my surprise when,
in your new book,
306
00:16:07,513 --> 00:16:10,683
amidst the pages of coital reverie,
307
00:16:10,766 --> 00:16:11,767
was something...
308
00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,936
- Oh, god.
- Quite magnificent.
309
00:16:15,813 --> 00:16:17,857
I get it. I get it. I so get it right now.
310
00:16:18,399 --> 00:16:19,817
Oh, my gosh.
311
00:16:19,901 --> 00:16:21,861
I literally thought you guys kidnapped me.
312
00:16:21,944 --> 00:16:24,697
I... I mean, this is marketing, right?
Beth set this up?
313
00:16:24,780 --> 00:16:27,700
This was so good, you guys.
This was amazing.
314
00:16:27,783 --> 00:16:31,120
You, with your gun and your mustache
315
00:16:31,204 --> 00:16:33,998
and your, "you'd better get in there"
and you know...
316
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:36,876
Oh, my god.
317
00:16:36,959 --> 00:16:40,922
You, with the gi. Joe
tone-on-tone outfit.
318
00:16:41,005 --> 00:16:45,843
Your fictional archaeologist was making
real translations of a dead language.
319
00:16:45,927 --> 00:16:46,761
Mm-hmm.
320
00:16:46,844 --> 00:16:48,846
Something nobody else has been able to do.
321
00:16:48,930 --> 00:16:51,265
Well, nobody else had ever tried.
322
00:16:51,349 --> 00:16:53,226
Is that right?
Am I saying the right thing?
323
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:54,936
Except you, right?
324
00:16:55,019 --> 00:16:56,938
Except me!
325
00:16:57,522 --> 00:16:58,940
Yes. See, it turns out
326
00:16:59,023 --> 00:17:02,443
Loretta sage was once a young college girl
doing her dissertation
327
00:17:02,527 --> 00:17:05,404
on the dead language of the d
with her future husband,
328
00:17:05,488 --> 00:17:08,658
dreaming of finding kalaman's tomb
and the crown of fire.
329
00:17:08,741 --> 00:17:11,702
I was sorry to read
you gave up your search after he died.
330
00:17:11,786 --> 00:17:13,079
But what that means is,
331
00:17:14,664 --> 00:17:16,582
you're all I have left.
332
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,669
All you have left for... what?
333
00:17:24,048 --> 00:17:25,258
Here we go.
334
00:17:39,647 --> 00:17:40,856
What is this?
335
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:45,319
I believe it is describing
the exact location of kalaman's tomb,
336
00:17:45,403 --> 00:17:48,781
in which taha
and her priceless headdress are buried.
337
00:17:48,864 --> 00:17:51,075
Well, if this were authentic,
338
00:17:51,158 --> 00:17:56,372
you would still have to uncover
an entire city...
339
00:17:56,455 --> 00:17:59,542
That nobody has been able to find.
340
00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:00,876
I found it.
341
00:18:01,460 --> 00:18:04,755
On a tiny, forgotten island
in the Atlantic called Isla hundida.
342
00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:08,342
What I have not been able to find
is kalaman's final resting place.
343
00:18:08,426 --> 00:18:12,013
This piece of parchment is the only clue
we found among the ruins.
344
00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:15,600
I need someone
who can decipher these symbols.
345
00:18:16,392 --> 00:18:17,810
I need you.
346
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:20,605
- Well...
- Miss sage,
347
00:18:20,688 --> 00:18:24,191
surely this isn't how
you want your story to end.
348
00:18:24,275 --> 00:18:26,819
We both had our dreams crushed
by bad luck,
349
00:18:26,902 --> 00:18:29,280
or in my case,
an arse-kissing little brother,
350
00:18:29,363 --> 00:18:31,741
but this is our chance to show them all.
351
00:18:32,325 --> 00:18:34,160
Come with me... to the island.
352
00:18:34,243 --> 00:18:39,248
Translate these symbols
and help me find the crown of fire.
353
00:18:39,832 --> 00:18:41,834
You can name your price.
354
00:18:44,629 --> 00:18:47,131
I must respectfully decline.
355
00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:53,262
Well...
356
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,932
I can't say I'm not disappointed.
357
00:18:57,808 --> 00:19:00,186
But I understand how you feel.
358
00:19:03,898 --> 00:19:05,816
Will you at least let us give you a ride?
359
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:09,028
Oh, no, thank you.
I'll call for my own car, and I'll just...
360
00:19:31,801 --> 00:19:33,570
I don't feel
like you're listening to me.
361
00:19:33,594 --> 00:19:34,929
This is urgent, and we...
362
00:19:35,596 --> 00:19:38,349
Okay, so the police are saying
that they put out an apb...
363
00:19:38,432 --> 00:19:40,267
- Apb.
- On an SUV,
364
00:19:40,351 --> 00:19:42,687
- and there's this 24-hour rule...
- Why is there a rule?
365
00:19:42,770 --> 00:19:45,165
- And they won't do anything until...
- What about the FBI or the CIA?
366
00:19:45,189 --> 00:19:47,250
- They said to call the police.
- I'm sure Loretta's fine.
367
00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:49,819
When I was in college,
my friend Nicki went missing.
368
00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:51,487
Everyone was, like, freaking out.
369
00:19:51,570 --> 00:19:54,031
But then she was just in her car.
370
00:19:54,115 --> 00:19:57,368
She was dead, but we found her.
She wasn't gone.
371
00:19:57,451 --> 00:20:01,706
Um, what about... maybe we could get a pi
372
00:20:01,789 --> 00:20:04,500
or, like, you know, private security or...
373
00:20:04,583 --> 00:20:06,502
What about an extraction team,
like the movie?
374
00:20:06,585 --> 00:20:09,004
But who does that? The ex-military, right?
375
00:20:09,088 --> 00:20:11,632
Oh, yeah. I think I actually
have somebody that could help us.
376
00:20:11,716 --> 00:20:14,677
- Oh.
- I did this, uh, this meditation retreat,
377
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,345
and there was this trainer guy there.
378
00:20:16,429 --> 00:20:18,472
You should see this guy meditate.
379
00:20:18,556 --> 00:20:19,890
But he's ex-Navy seal.
380
00:20:19,974 --> 00:20:23,686
He's a special ops trainer.
What was his name?
381
00:20:24,478 --> 00:20:25,521
Yeah. Jack trainer.
382
00:20:25,604 --> 00:20:27,231
So he's a trainer named Jack trainer?
383
00:20:27,314 --> 00:20:29,775
That's how I have everybody in my phone.
See, "Janice mom."
384
00:20:29,859 --> 00:20:31,444
"Larry doorknob." "Stacy butt stuff.“
385
00:20:31,527 --> 00:20:34,238
look, this is what this guy does.
He finds people.
386
00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:36,532
If there's anybody that can help us,
it's him.
387
00:20:43,539 --> 00:20:46,101
- Jack trainer.
- Oh, so his name is actually Jack trainer.
388
00:20:46,125 --> 00:20:49,754
Hi, uh, this is Alan
from "touching your inner self."
389
00:20:51,380 --> 00:20:53,215
The meditation retreat?
390
00:20:54,759 --> 00:20:58,095
Anyway, okay.
Our friend Loretta has been kidnapped,
391
00:20:58,179 --> 00:20:59,555
and no one's helping us.
392
00:20:59,638 --> 00:21:01,056
How long she been missing?
393
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:02,558
Maybe two hours now.
394
00:21:02,641 --> 00:21:03,768
Who is that?
395
00:21:03,851 --> 00:21:07,605
Um, this is be... this is Beth. I'm Beth.
396
00:21:08,272 --> 00:21:10,608
And Allison is on too, sir.
397
00:21:10,691 --> 00:21:12,985
Did she have any I/I/i-fi-enabled devices?
398
00:21:13,068 --> 00:21:15,988
- She's got her phone, right?
- No, I have her phone.
399
00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:18,866
Oh! She has a smartwatch.
It ripped my wig off.
400
00:21:18,949 --> 00:21:21,702
What was that scenario?
Never mind. Open the phone.
401
00:21:21,786 --> 00:21:23,346
- Go to the smartwatch app.
- All right.
402
00:21:23,370 --> 00:21:25,790
Then hit ”find my smartwatch. ”
403
00:21:25,873 --> 00:21:28,834
Oh, my... that is so good.
That's why we called.
404
00:21:28,918 --> 00:21:31,504
'54ntic/pate the difficult
by managing the easy. ”
405
00:21:31,587 --> 00:21:35,049
- Is that Oprah or deepak?
- Laozi from tao-te ching.
406
00:21:35,132 --> 00:21:36,425
Oh, my god.
407
00:21:37,051 --> 00:21:38,385
It's in the Atlantic.
408
00:21:38,469 --> 00:21:40,763
- She's on a plane?
- How can you tell that?
409
00:21:41,472 --> 00:21:43,098
'Cause she can't swim that fast.
410
00:21:43,182 --> 00:21:44,725
Doesn't sound like a ransom scenario.
411
00:21:44,809 --> 00:21:47,436
My guess is blood sport,
hunger games -type situation.
412
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:50,356
Possibly some coke-fueled
dark web scavenger hunt.
413
00:21:50,439 --> 00:21:52,525
Real clown shit. We '/I have to move fast
414
00:21:52,608 --> 00:21:55,569
- how do we pay you?
- Cryptocurrenc y. Cash app.
415
00:21:55,653 --> 00:21:58,906
I'i/ have her back within 48 hours
or your next rescue is free.
416
00:21:58,989 --> 00:22:00,491
How many people need a next rescue?
417
00:22:00,574 --> 00:22:01,909
More than you'd think.
418
00:22:01,992 --> 00:22:04,221
- I'm gonna need that phone.
- I... I'll bring it to you.
419
00:22:04,245 --> 00:22:06,747
Let me know where she lands.
I'i/ meet you there, Alan.
420
00:22:21,762 --> 00:22:22,805
Hello.
421
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:28,769
Where am I?
422
00:22:28,853 --> 00:22:30,896
Um, you're on my plane.
423
00:22:30,980 --> 00:22:32,273
It's nice, isn't it?
424
00:22:32,356 --> 00:22:34,191
The seats are made of mama llama leather.
425
00:22:34,275 --> 00:22:37,236
Well, I'm getting off your plane.
426
00:22:37,319 --> 00:22:38,821
Unchain me!
427
00:22:38,904 --> 00:22:40,322
That's your seat belt.
428
00:22:40,990 --> 00:22:44,994
Did you chloroform me?
People actually do that?
429
00:22:47,788 --> 00:22:50,124
Well, you know,
it's a classic for a reason.
430
00:22:50,207 --> 00:22:52,334
My body feels drunk.
431
00:22:52,418 --> 00:22:54,336
It'll wear off in a bit. I am sorry.
432
00:22:54,420 --> 00:22:56,672
I just couldn't wait around
for you to change your mind.
433
00:22:56,755 --> 00:22:59,341
- Stop playing jelly.
- Time is not on our side.
434
00:22:59,925 --> 00:23:04,221
The volcano we're excavating around
has developed a bad case of indigestion.
435
00:23:04,805 --> 00:23:06,241
I'm rather worried that when it blows,
436
00:23:06,265 --> 00:23:08,451
everything that's left of the lost city
will be destroyed.
437
00:23:08,475 --> 00:23:10,394
Oh, my god. My legs don't work.
438
00:23:10,477 --> 00:23:15,858
So, this is our last chance
to find both the tomb and the crown.
439
00:23:15,941 --> 00:23:18,027
- Oh, god.
- Oh!
440
00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:20,487
Don't worry.
That's just our final descent.
441
00:23:21,071 --> 00:23:26,327
But it is the beginning
of the greatest adventure of your life.
442
00:24:35,104 --> 00:24:36,939
Welcome to the lost city.
443
00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,283
How did you find it?
444
00:24:48,367 --> 00:24:50,619
So, the city was built on a lava dome.
445
00:24:50,703 --> 00:24:53,372
As the volcano became active,
the dome filled with lava,
446
00:24:53,455 --> 00:24:55,958
and sunken things Rose to the surface.
447
00:24:56,041 --> 00:24:57,960
The d exposed itself.
448
00:24:58,544 --> 00:25:01,338
- The entire city?
- No, no. Just the tip.
449
00:25:01,422 --> 00:25:04,508
As soon as I heard rumors of the ruins,
I flew over and bought the place.
450
00:25:04,591 --> 00:25:07,302
- The site?
- No. The island.
451
00:25:07,386 --> 00:25:10,305
The southern half. I got a good deal
'cause this is where the lava flows.
452
00:25:10,389 --> 00:25:12,558
We've been excavating for a year now.
453
00:25:13,642 --> 00:25:16,270
One doesn't kidnap a romance novelist
on day one.
454
00:25:16,353 --> 00:25:18,439
Yes, as the saying goes.
455
00:25:18,522 --> 00:25:21,608
Rafi doesn't like it. Do you, rafi?
456
00:25:21,692 --> 00:25:24,945
He says we're disrespecting his heritage.
457
00:25:25,029 --> 00:25:28,157
But not a lot of other job options
on the island, are there, rafi?
458
00:25:28,240 --> 00:25:30,075
Beggars can't be choosers.
459
00:25:40,127 --> 00:25:41,920
No more charcuterie, I take it.
460
00:25:42,004 --> 00:25:44,214
Mmm. Please. I'm not a monster.
461
00:25:44,298 --> 00:25:45,841
Whatever you need, just shout.
462
00:25:47,217 --> 00:25:52,347
Uh, leave one hand free.
She has some translating to do.
463
00:25:53,724 --> 00:25:54,725
And then what?
464
00:25:55,309 --> 00:25:57,644
Loretta, I really wish
you would try and see
465
00:25:57,728 --> 00:25:59,938
what an exciting opportunity
this is for us.
466
00:26:00,022 --> 00:26:03,734
I believe this text describes
the exact location of the tomb.
467
00:26:04,318 --> 00:26:06,195
It's a iogographic system.
468
00:26:07,154 --> 00:26:09,907
Like cuneiform or hieroglyphics.
469
00:26:10,491 --> 00:26:13,744
Now, if you have other documents
that possibly I can compare...
470
00:26:13,827 --> 00:26:14,912
Yeah, no luck there.
471
00:26:14,995 --> 00:26:17,915
We found some scratching
at a nearby waterfall,
472
00:26:17,998 --> 00:26:18,999
but it was useless.
473
00:26:19,083 --> 00:26:20,417
Just pictures of women.
474
00:26:20,501 --> 00:26:25,380
Look, I, too, wish your dear old
dead archaeologist husband
475
00:26:25,464 --> 00:26:28,175
was here to help, but he's not, so,
476
00:26:28,258 --> 00:26:31,136
time to shine, Loretta, sex-book writer.
477
00:26:32,679 --> 00:26:34,306
They will come for me.
478
00:26:34,973 --> 00:26:36,767
Who, exactly?
479
00:26:36,850 --> 00:26:38,560
Your many cats?
480
00:26:38,644 --> 00:26:40,354
Oh, I don't have cats.
481
00:26:41,105 --> 00:26:42,940
Somehow even more sad.
482
00:26:43,023 --> 00:26:46,026
I have a hamster, asshole!
483
00:26:46,110 --> 00:26:47,945
You have a hamster's asshole?
484
00:26:48,028 --> 00:26:50,322
No, there was a...
There was a... a com...
485
00:26:50,405 --> 00:26:51,841
There was a comma between... forget it.
486
00:26:51,865 --> 00:26:54,868
I bet your brother never had
to kidnap anyone!
487
00:27:26,775 --> 00:27:30,195
J” from the dusty mesa j”
488
00:27:30,279 --> 00:27:34,741
j” her looming shadow grows j”
489
00:27:34,825 --> 00:27:38,162
j” hidden in the branches j”
490
00:27:38,245 --> 00:27:41,999
j” of the poison creosote j”
491
00:27:45,836 --> 00:27:47,379
good to see you, man.
492
00:27:47,462 --> 00:27:48,964
- Phone.
- Right.
493
00:28:01,143 --> 00:28:02,144
What?
494
00:28:02,227 --> 00:28:06,607
Yeah, I was thinking that I could maybe
just sort of come with you.
495
00:28:07,191 --> 00:28:08,650
- Why?
- To help.
496
00:28:08,734 --> 00:28:12,738
I know cpr. I know some light karate.
Crossfit certified.
497
00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:14,072
Okay, listen, listen!
498
00:28:15,282 --> 00:28:16,950
I just... it's my fault.
499
00:28:17,034 --> 00:28:19,411
Not the kidnapping and stuff,
500
00:28:19,995 --> 00:28:22,414
but I said some really mean stuff to her,
and I regret it,
501
00:28:22,497 --> 00:28:23,957
and I just need to take it back.
502
00:28:24,041 --> 00:28:25,375
I called her a human mummy.
503
00:28:26,835 --> 00:28:28,086
Mummies are human.
504
00:28:28,795 --> 00:28:31,465
I'm aware of that now, yes.
505
00:28:31,548 --> 00:28:34,468
That is true.
506
00:28:34,551 --> 00:28:35,552
Please.
507
00:28:37,095 --> 00:28:39,473
All right, Alan,
I can't be responsible for you.
508
00:28:40,557 --> 00:28:41,558
Okay. Yeah.
509
00:28:41,642 --> 00:28:43,894
- I need you to stay in the car.
- Yeah.
510
00:28:44,686 --> 00:28:46,855
- In the car.
- In the car.
511
00:28:46,939 --> 00:28:49,316
- The whole time.
- The whole time?
512
00:28:49,399 --> 00:28:50,734
Whole time.
513
00:28:50,817 --> 00:28:51,818
Mm-hmm.
514
00:28:53,820 --> 00:28:54,821
Yes!
515
00:29:01,036 --> 00:29:03,205
This is me.
516
00:29:04,331 --> 00:29:06,708
Really? Is this what the seal teams use?
517
00:29:06,792 --> 00:29:09,419
"Only a fool chooses a horse
by its color."
518
00:29:10,003 --> 00:29:12,297
Right, right. The tao-te ching?
519
00:29:12,881 --> 00:29:15,300
No, it was on the sign back there
at the rental place.
520
00:29:24,142 --> 00:29:25,142
Thank you.
521
00:29:30,023 --> 00:29:35,862
J” / once had a life
or rather, life had me j”
522
00:29:35,946 --> 00:29:38,907
j” / was one among many j”
523
00:29:38,991 --> 00:29:42,577
j” or at least / seemed to be j”
524
00:29:42,661 --> 00:29:49,459
j” well, lread an old quotation
in a book just yesterday j”
525
00:29:49,543 --> 00:29:52,337
j” said, ”gonna reap just what you sowj”
526
00:29:52,421 --> 00:29:55,924
j” the debts you make, you have to pa y”j”
527
00:29:56,008 --> 00:29:57,217
j” can you get to that? J”
528
00:29:58,051 --> 00:29:59,344
what? What?
529
00:30:01,888 --> 00:30:03,932
I was hoping to invite you to breakfast,
530
00:30:04,016 --> 00:30:06,351
but it looks like
you still have work to do.
531
00:30:07,602 --> 00:30:08,770
Uh, wait, wait, wait.
532
00:30:09,354 --> 00:30:10,897
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
533
00:30:10,981 --> 00:30:13,025
I believe this says
534
00:30:13,108 --> 00:30:15,152
"rest" or "resting."
535
00:30:15,736 --> 00:30:18,363
So it would be,
"kalaman and his treasure..."
536
00:30:18,447 --> 00:30:22,868
And then there are some missing pieces,
and then "rest," "resting,"
537
00:30:22,951 --> 00:30:25,954
and something about "tears," so...
538
00:30:27,998 --> 00:30:29,041
Resting where?
539
00:30:29,124 --> 00:30:33,253
Hmm? Oh! Didn't... didn't say.
It doesn't say.
540
00:30:34,629 --> 00:30:37,674
Miss sage, I need you to do better.
541
00:30:37,758 --> 00:30:41,178
Then next time maybe don't kidnap
a romance novelist, hmm?
542
00:30:41,261 --> 00:30:43,555
My god, this shouldn't be this hard!
543
00:30:43,638 --> 00:30:45,599
It is not some pauper's grave
we're looking for.
544
00:30:45,682 --> 00:30:48,060
It is a monument to a great man!
545
00:30:48,143 --> 00:30:50,103
King kalaman was ambitious,
he was powerful,
546
00:30:50,187 --> 00:30:52,564
he was the first man to build a city
in the Atlantic.
547
00:30:52,647 --> 00:30:55,275
The eyes of his subjects
would have turned to him.
548
00:30:55,359 --> 00:31:00,697
He would have had a pyramid, a ziggurat,
a tower to hold his crown of fire.
549
00:31:00,781 --> 00:31:02,699
All I need to know is where it is.
550
00:31:03,867 --> 00:31:06,912
I don't know if you recall,
but you only said translate it.
551
00:31:06,995 --> 00:31:08,872
I... I... I translated it.
552
00:31:09,915 --> 00:31:11,416
Translate it again.
553
00:31:17,422 --> 00:31:19,216
One day, we're gonna laugh about this.
554
00:31:20,384 --> 00:31:22,302
Such an adventure we're having.
555
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,851
I should go with you,
just for backup and awesomeness.
556
00:31:30,852 --> 00:31:32,687
This is pretty awesome.
557
00:31:32,771 --> 00:31:35,315
You got nature, the radio.
558
00:31:36,566 --> 00:31:39,903
Yeah, you're right,
but it's very, very important to me
559
00:31:39,986 --> 00:31:42,072
that she knows that I came to rescue her.
560
00:31:42,155 --> 00:31:43,782
Why? Do you like this woman?
561
00:31:44,991 --> 00:31:47,327
No, I just brought snacks and stuff.
562
00:31:47,411 --> 00:31:49,663
She gets a little grumpy
when she's hungry.
563
00:31:49,746 --> 00:31:53,083
Blood pressure drops. And I get that
because I'm a five-meal-a-day kind of guy.
564
00:31:53,166 --> 00:31:55,585
Do you keto, by the way?
You look like you keto.
565
00:31:55,669 --> 00:31:58,422
- No.
- No. No. Yeah.
566
00:31:58,505 --> 00:32:01,007
- You don't need it.
- What is it?
567
00:32:01,091 --> 00:32:04,761
I just want her to think of me
as more than a cover model.
568
00:32:05,345 --> 00:32:09,182
But, Alan, you are so much more.
You're my lookout.
569
00:32:09,266 --> 00:32:12,519
Okay, can I at least do the part
where I put her in the car
570
00:32:12,602 --> 00:32:16,022
and I just go, "shh. You're safe now“?
571
00:32:17,399 --> 00:32:19,443
Sure, champ. She'll love that.
572
00:32:19,526 --> 00:32:23,738
Oh, um, you're just going? Going to start?
You're starting the mission now? Okay.
573
00:32:48,054 --> 00:32:50,015
Oh!
574
00:32:53,935 --> 00:32:54,936
Whoa!
575
00:32:59,274 --> 00:33:00,692
Go to sleep.
576
00:33:02,777 --> 00:33:04,988
J” go across the tracks j”
577
00:33:06,781 --> 00:33:11,077
j” where the viaduct looms
like a bird of doom j”
578
00:33:11,161 --> 00:33:14,706
j” as it shifts and cracks j”
579
00:33:15,332 --> 00:33:19,711
j” where secrets lie
in the border fires... j”
580
00:33:21,171 --> 00:33:24,382
J” hey, man, you know
you're never coming back j”
581
00:33:24,466 --> 00:33:26,635
j” past the square, past the bridge j”
582
00:33:26,718 --> 00:33:29,596
j” past the mills, past the stacks... j”
583
00:33:29,679 --> 00:33:30,948
- Alan.
- What?
584
00:33:30,972 --> 00:33:32,724
This is a breach of trust, Alan.
585
00:33:32,807 --> 00:33:34,434
I can help. Let me help.
586
00:33:37,729 --> 00:33:40,023
Stay close. Stay alive.
587
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:46,320
Hey.
588
00:33:50,742 --> 00:33:52,702
Shh. Go to sleep.
589
00:33:55,497 --> 00:33:56,581
I got his head.
590
00:33:56,665 --> 00:33:59,042
What do I do with his head?
I'm just gonna set him down.
591
00:34:07,092 --> 00:34:08,510
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, no!
592
00:34:08,593 --> 00:34:09,678
No, no, no, no, no!
593
00:34:10,762 --> 00:34:14,307
J” there won't be a single thing
that you can do j”
594
00:34:14,391 --> 00:34:17,227
j” heis agod, he's a man
heis a ghost, he's a guru j”
595
00:34:17,310 --> 00:34:18,395
ooh, yeah!
596
00:34:18,478 --> 00:34:20,230
Ooh! Ow!
597
00:34:20,313 --> 00:34:22,023
Teamwork, yeah!
598
00:34:22,107 --> 00:34:25,318
Great effort, Alan,
but that man was already unconscious.
599
00:34:25,944 --> 00:34:26,987
I was already wound up.
600
00:34:28,154 --> 00:34:29,864
Just don't do it when I'm...
601
00:34:38,331 --> 00:34:39,791
Oh!
602
00:34:40,375 --> 00:34:41,876
On your seven!
603
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:47,882
Oh!
604
00:34:52,887 --> 00:34:54,889
Trainer. Trainer, he's not asleep!
605
00:34:54,973 --> 00:34:56,850
Stay down. Stay down.
606
00:34:59,686 --> 00:35:02,147
- You're doing great.
- Thanks.
607
00:35:02,230 --> 00:35:03,523
Where you going?
608
00:35:04,065 --> 00:35:06,735
J” through the ghettos and the barrio j”
609
00:35:06,818 --> 00:35:08,194
j” and the bowery and the slums j”
610
00:35:08,278 --> 00:35:09,279
what?
611
00:35:11,823 --> 00:35:13,116
Loretta sage?
612
00:35:13,783 --> 00:35:14,784
Yes.
613
00:35:15,410 --> 00:35:16,530
I'm getting you out of here.
614
00:35:17,495 --> 00:35:20,540
- Why are you so handsome?
- My dad was a weatherman.
615
00:35:22,876 --> 00:35:23,793
A-Alan?
616
00:35:23,877 --> 00:35:25,670
- Yeah.
- What are you doing here?
617
00:35:26,379 --> 00:35:28,965
- I... irregardless, I'm here to save you.
- That's not...
618
00:35:29,049 --> 00:35:31,092
- I think he meant "regardless."
- Yes.
619
00:35:33,386 --> 00:35:35,472
Ooh, uh, does she need saving
in there, trainer?
620
00:35:35,555 --> 00:35:36,848
I think she's fine there.
621
00:35:36,931 --> 00:35:39,291
No, leave it. Don't take their stuff.
They'll come after us.
622
00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:44,230
Alan, why do you keep doing that?
623
00:35:44,314 --> 00:35:46,232
Why do you keep doing that?
I had that one.
624
00:35:46,316 --> 00:35:48,860
It's just getting mean now.
It's unnecessary.
625
00:35:48,943 --> 00:35:50,654
I'm sorry. I just wanted to get one in.
626
00:35:50,737 --> 00:35:53,097
Excuse me. Would it be possible
to remove me from the chair?
627
00:35:53,156 --> 00:35:54,908
- No time.
- No time?
628
00:35:54,991 --> 00:35:56,302
There's been so much chitchat.
629
00:35:56,326 --> 00:35:57,744
We should definitely go.
630
00:35:57,827 --> 00:35:58,888
Let's go! Let's go!
631
00:36:02,791 --> 00:36:06,878
J” 80 baby, take my hand
/t'// be all right j”
632
00:36:06,961 --> 00:36:11,049
j” the y'i/ come true in the end j”
633
00:36:25,146 --> 00:36:26,481
Why are things exploding?
634
00:36:34,030 --> 00:36:35,031
I got...
635
00:36:36,866 --> 00:36:38,702
Okay.
636
00:36:39,327 --> 00:36:40,161
Shh...
637
00:36:40,245 --> 00:36:42,163
Shh. You're safe now.
638
00:36:42,247 --> 00:36:43,456
You're...
639
00:36:43,540 --> 00:36:45,750
How... how are you so calm?
640
00:36:45,834 --> 00:36:48,169
- That was my... that was my line.
- Here.
641
00:36:50,380 --> 00:36:52,257
- What?
- Is that reiki?
642
00:36:52,340 --> 00:36:54,968
- Are you healing me?
- I think so.
643
00:36:55,051 --> 00:36:56,052
Ah.
644
00:36:56,136 --> 00:36:58,263
As laozi says,
"to the mind that is still..."
645
00:36:58,346 --> 00:37:00,098
"The whole universe surrenders."
646
00:37:00,181 --> 00:37:03,977
Yeah, I know some quotes
that could be good for this moment.
647
00:37:04,060 --> 00:37:05,687
In omnia paratus.
648
00:37:06,813 --> 00:37:08,231
"Ready for anything."
649
00:37:08,982 --> 00:37:11,609
Maybe we shouldn't be just
staring lovingly into each other's eyes
650
00:37:11,693 --> 00:37:13,421
like you're gonna fall in love
and I'm not...
651
00:37:13,445 --> 00:37:14,821
Like I'm... like I'm not here.
652
00:37:15,405 --> 00:37:16,448
Who are you?
653
00:37:16,531 --> 00:37:18,658
Just a guy trying to do his job.
654
00:37:19,492 --> 00:37:22,078
Right now, that job
is to get this lovely lady...
655
00:37:22,746 --> 00:37:24,581
Oh! Oh.
656
00:37:24,664 --> 00:37:28,293
Oh, god. Okay.
657
00:37:28,376 --> 00:37:29,753
What is happening?
658
00:37:33,339 --> 00:37:35,383
- Oh!
- Okay. What do we do?
659
00:37:35,467 --> 00:37:37,635
We need to do... I can't see.
660
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:39,053
I don't like it!
661
00:37:39,137 --> 00:37:40,346
Here. Here!
662
00:37:40,847 --> 00:37:43,141
- Why would you throw a gun?
- Seriously?
663
00:37:44,851 --> 00:37:47,520
- Get me out of the chair.
- I can't. We don't have time.
664
00:37:47,604 --> 00:37:49,397
Oh!
665
00:37:51,274 --> 00:37:53,294
Gotta squeeze!
You got to do a kegel or something!
666
00:37:53,318 --> 00:37:55,612
- Kegel it!
- What do you think a kegel is?
667
00:37:56,196 --> 00:37:58,114
I'm not in it, not in! Still not in!
668
00:37:58,198 --> 00:38:00,492
- You got to go in more.
- Stop. Stop. Stop it!
669
00:38:01,785 --> 00:38:02,827
Oh, oh, oh!
670
00:38:02,911 --> 00:38:06,164
Oh, god. Get in the car, get in the car!
Start the car! Start the car!
671
00:38:06,247 --> 00:38:07,499
- Go, go.
- Move your leg.
672
00:38:07,582 --> 00:38:09,876
- Which one?
- Both of them! Move them!
673
00:38:12,128 --> 00:38:13,755
Whoa.
674
00:38:13,838 --> 00:38:15,840
- Fonnard, fonnard!
- Okay. Okay.
675
00:38:15,924 --> 00:38:20,053
- I'm going! I'm going! Okay!
- Drive!
676
00:38:21,471 --> 00:38:24,140
Shh. You're safe now. Shh.
677
00:38:27,769 --> 00:38:30,188
- Shh. You're safe now.
- No, I'm not. Not safe.
678
00:38:30,271 --> 00:38:32,190
Oh, no, am I bleeding?
679
00:38:32,273 --> 00:38:35,151
- I don't think that's yours.
- Oh, that's a lot of blood.
680
00:38:35,235 --> 00:38:36,444
Ha! Uh-oh!
681
00:38:36,528 --> 00:38:38,363
Cheese and rice!
682
00:38:38,446 --> 00:38:40,073
- Are those his brains?
- What?
683
00:38:40,156 --> 00:38:42,158
I think his brains are on my face!
684
00:38:42,242 --> 00:38:45,829
Definitely his brains are in my mouth.
I can taste his thoughts!
685
00:38:45,912 --> 00:38:47,205
Focus on the road.
686
00:38:47,288 --> 00:38:49,499
He just liked training people. Trainer.
687
00:38:49,582 --> 00:38:52,460
- What are you talking about?
- He loved me.
688
00:38:52,544 --> 00:38:55,088
Can you just scooch the car
over to the left?
689
00:38:55,171 --> 00:38:58,800
- Uh, get it off. Get it off.
- Oh, god. Oh.
690
00:38:58,883 --> 00:38:59,968
Watch out!
691
00:39:05,723 --> 00:39:07,392
Oh! Oh!
692
00:39:09,477 --> 00:39:10,812
Oh, did you see...
693
00:39:23,408 --> 00:39:25,535
Oh, no. Oh, no.
694
00:39:26,244 --> 00:39:27,579
Oh, no.
695
00:39:36,129 --> 00:39:37,505
Oh, no.
696
00:39:38,214 --> 00:39:39,674
- Alan?
- [Gasps}
697
00:39:40,508 --> 00:39:44,095
oh, holy Christmas.
Are you okay? Are you okay?
698
00:39:44,178 --> 00:39:46,097
Do you think you could get me out of here?
699
00:39:46,180 --> 00:39:47,891
Yeah. Um, okay.
700
00:39:47,974 --> 00:39:50,894
- You just flew out of the car.
- I did. I did, indeed.
701
00:39:50,977 --> 00:39:52,520
Okay. I got you. I got you.
702
00:39:52,604 --> 00:39:55,023
Can you get me out of the chair?
Get me out of the chair.
703
00:39:55,106 --> 00:39:56,746
You're right. You're right. You're right.
704
00:39:58,318 --> 00:40:00,153
- Is that a nail filer?
- Yeah.
705
00:40:00,236 --> 00:40:01,714
- Can you just rip it?
- It's working.
706
00:40:01,738 --> 00:40:05,742
And maybe next time I toss a gun at you,
you can catch it instead of ducking.
707
00:40:05,825 --> 00:40:08,912
How about the next time you toss a gun
at me, you say, "hey, Alan, catch"?
708
00:40:08,995 --> 00:40:10,872
Then maybe do that before you throw it?
709
00:40:10,955 --> 00:40:13,166
Well, "here" is a synonym for "catch."
710
00:40:13,249 --> 00:40:16,920
- No, "here" is not a cinnamon for "catch."
- In a colloquial kind of way, yes, it is.
711
00:40:17,003 --> 00:40:21,299
You say, "here," I toss you a sweatshirt.
You say, "here," I toss you a pen.
712
00:40:21,382 --> 00:40:23,968
How 'boutjust, "hey! Catch! Gun!"
713
00:40:24,552 --> 00:40:27,639
Anything that you want to throw,
I'll catch it because you said, "catch.“
714
00:40:27,722 --> 00:40:29,349
and I'll catch it because you said it.
715
00:40:29,432 --> 00:40:31,893
That is also an option,
and then we would have a gun with us.
716
00:40:31,976 --> 00:40:33,144
That's a thing.
717
00:40:33,853 --> 00:40:35,438
- Be careful.
- Okay, we need to call...
718
00:40:35,521 --> 00:40:36,856
Be careful.
719
00:40:36,940 --> 00:40:39,859
We need to call for help,
get to the airport and get out of here.
720
00:40:39,943 --> 00:40:41,736
- And I am driving.
- Okay.
721
00:40:43,738 --> 00:40:47,450
Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
722
00:40:56,668 --> 00:40:58,294
Okay, call for... call for help.
723
00:40:59,253 --> 00:41:00,755
Wh... where's your phone?
724
00:41:04,258 --> 00:41:05,259
Okay.
725
00:41:09,055 --> 00:41:11,349
- Tell me you caught them.
- I tagged the blond one.
726
00:41:13,434 --> 00:41:16,270
Oh, Loretta.
727
00:41:16,354 --> 00:41:18,731
What are you thinking?
728
00:41:18,815 --> 00:41:21,734
You might've killed one of them,
but his partner's still with her.
729
00:41:21,818 --> 00:41:25,405
And he is clearly skilled, highly trained
730
00:41:26,447 --> 00:41:27,991
and very dangerous.
731
00:41:38,001 --> 00:41:42,130
So, miss sage said
she was gonna leave the event,
732
00:41:42,213 --> 00:41:46,509
then got in a car and left the event?
733
00:41:47,135 --> 00:41:49,637
- Did you try calling her?
- She doesn't have her phone.
734
00:41:49,721 --> 00:41:51,264
- Stolen phone.
- Didn't say that.
735
00:41:51,848 --> 00:41:53,307
Where's my magnifier?
736
00:41:53,391 --> 00:41:54,868
Listen, can you please help with Nana?
737
00:41:54,892 --> 00:41:57,204
I don't want her hearing about Loretta
'cause it's going to upset her.
738
00:41:57,228 --> 00:42:00,732
- What about Loretta?
- Nothing, Nana. She just went on a trip.
739
00:42:00,815 --> 00:42:02,191
- Good.
- Yeah.
740
00:42:02,775 --> 00:42:04,944
That girl needed to get out of the house.
741
00:42:05,028 --> 00:42:09,198
So, this is the thing.
Loretta's phone is not stolen. I took it.
742
00:42:09,282 --> 00:42:13,661
I gave it to Alan. Alan then gave it
to the trainer, uh, Jack trainer.
743
00:42:13,745 --> 00:42:15,913
And that is how we found her wearable.
744
00:42:15,997 --> 00:42:17,874
- And who's Alan?
- Dash.
745
00:42:17,957 --> 00:42:20,626
- What's that?
- He's the hero in all of her books.
746
00:42:20,710 --> 00:42:21,710
Nana.
747
00:42:21,753 --> 00:42:24,005
- Hey, slut.
- Mm-mmm.
748
00:42:24,088 --> 00:42:27,050
Let's go in the other room and talk about
whichever war you lived through.
749
00:42:27,133 --> 00:42:30,136
Okay. Come on, it'll be fun.
I'm sorry. It'll be fun.
750
00:42:30,219 --> 00:42:32,138
Listen, Loretta sage is missing.
751
00:42:32,221 --> 00:42:34,557
When I looked at her smartwatch,
it said that she had flown
752
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,320
to some island
I've never even heard about.
753
00:42:36,350 --> 00:42:38,078
That means y'all need
to do something about this.
754
00:42:38,102 --> 00:42:40,646
And if you can't, I will,
and that won't look good for you.
755
00:42:41,230 --> 00:42:43,441
Pretty sure
that's outside ourjurisdiction.
756
00:42:43,524 --> 00:42:45,443
You'd have to call the feds.
757
00:42:45,526 --> 00:42:46,611
Okay.
758
00:42:46,694 --> 00:42:48,988
And if you do go to the feds,
put in a good word for me.
759
00:42:49,072 --> 00:42:51,324
- For me.
- For us.
760
00:42:56,954 --> 00:42:58,456
Oh, oh.
761
00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:07,840
What are you gonna do,
put the car back together?
762
00:43:07,924 --> 00:43:09,926
Well... we could...
763
00:43:26,067 --> 00:43:27,735
Where did you say the phone was?
764
00:43:27,819 --> 00:43:28,819
Passenger glove.
765
00:43:28,861 --> 00:43:30,613
- What?
- Passenger glove compartment.
766
00:43:30,696 --> 00:43:31,697
Goodness.
767
00:43:33,116 --> 00:43:34,534
Oh, my god.
768
00:43:34,617 --> 00:43:36,994
Oh, my god. No phone, no car.
We're so gonna die out...
769
00:43:37,078 --> 00:43:38,788
- Here.
- What is this?
770
00:43:38,871 --> 00:43:40,456
Boots for the jungle.
771
00:43:41,415 --> 00:43:43,334
It's not exactly hiking boots, but...
772
00:43:43,417 --> 00:43:46,313
I figured your feet would be killing you
after wearing heels for this long.
773
00:43:46,337 --> 00:43:48,457
It was the best we could do.
They're Allison's. Sorry.
774
00:43:49,173 --> 00:43:51,425
Oh, okay, well, thank you.
775
00:43:51,509 --> 00:43:53,302
Here, oh, I got you cheese.
776
00:43:53,386 --> 00:43:55,221
- Oh, my god.
- You got to stay hydrated.
777
00:43:55,304 --> 00:43:57,282
- Thank you so much.
- They didn't have glass bottles,
778
00:43:57,306 --> 00:43:59,066
so we'll definitely hold onto it
and recycle.
779
00:44:02,019 --> 00:44:06,691
So, what we need to do is find a phone,
we need to call the authorities,
780
00:44:06,774 --> 00:44:09,174
and we need to wait here
until somebody comes and rescues us.
781
00:44:10,778 --> 00:44:13,239
This... this is the rescue.
782
00:44:13,322 --> 00:44:14,699
No one else is coming.
783
00:44:14,782 --> 00:44:16,576
- I'm sorry?
- I'm the rescue.
784
00:44:16,659 --> 00:44:19,620
It was originallyjust gonna be me,
then I was like, trainer should come.
785
00:44:19,704 --> 00:44:21,330
Oh, trainer. Rest in peace.
786
00:44:21,914 --> 00:44:24,458
So, our best bet is to get to the airport.
787
00:44:24,542 --> 00:44:26,043
- See this road right here?
- Mm-hmm.
788
00:44:26,127 --> 00:44:28,838
From this area, just take a shortcut
through the jungle to the road.
789
00:44:28,921 --> 00:44:30,649
Did you just say
"shortcut through the jungle"?
790
00:44:30,673 --> 00:44:32,383
- Yeah.
- Okay, do you see us?
791
00:44:32,466 --> 00:44:34,510
- Uh-huh.
- You are not dash, and I'm not lovemore.
792
00:44:34,594 --> 00:44:36,470
Okay? I'm Loretta, and you are Alan.
793
00:44:36,554 --> 00:44:38,681
- And jungles eat people like us, okay?
- Eat people.
794
00:44:38,764 --> 00:44:42,351
And I don't want to mess up the jumpsuit.
It's on loan. So we're gonna stay put.
795
00:44:42,435 --> 00:44:44,395
We're not just gonna stand around here.
796
00:44:44,478 --> 00:44:45,938
We're gonna go through the jungle,
797
00:44:46,022 --> 00:44:48,232
we're gonna go to the airport
and find a phone,
798
00:44:48,316 --> 00:44:50,276
so you can have your cake
and get what you want.
799
00:44:50,359 --> 00:44:51,360
"And eat it too"?
800
00:44:51,444 --> 00:44:53,797
If that's what you want to do
with your cake, fine. Let's go.
801
00:44:53,821 --> 00:44:55,901
- That's the only thing you do with cake.
- Not mine.
802
00:44:55,948 --> 00:44:58,302
I don't know
what your people do, but my people eat it.
803
00:44:58,326 --> 00:45:00,661
You could give it to someone
as a gift.
804
00:45:00,745 --> 00:45:02,890
Those people are still going
to eat the cake.
805
00:45:02,914 --> 00:45:04,707
Everybody eats cake.
806
00:45:04,790 --> 00:45:06,590
What about the kind
people jump out of?
807
00:45:06,626 --> 00:45:09,295
- They don't eat it, when they're in it.
- Oh, my god.
808
00:45:35,947 --> 00:45:37,549
What did they kidnap you for anyhow?
809
00:45:37,573 --> 00:45:39,450
Is it some weird sex stuff like taken?
810
00:45:39,533 --> 00:45:41,035
Oh, my god, thank you.
811
00:45:41,118 --> 00:45:43,829
I thought so too,
but the guy's one of the fairfaxes.
812
00:45:43,913 --> 00:45:45,706
- Beverly?
- No, the older one.
813
00:45:45,790 --> 00:45:49,669
The really odd one that had the vlog
on finding montezuma's treasure.
814
00:45:49,752 --> 00:45:52,105
The dude that was on the news
for trying to raise the Titanic?
815
00:45:52,129 --> 00:45:53,982
Yes, he's looking for the crown of fire.
816
00:45:54,006 --> 00:45:57,927
Wait a minute. Like the actual
crown of fire? Like the one...
817
00:45:58,010 --> 00:46:01,264
- So those ruins were...
- They were the lost city of d, yes.
818
00:46:01,347 --> 00:46:03,599
- What? Are you kidding me right now?
- Shh!
819
00:46:03,683 --> 00:46:05,268
This is like... like your book.
820
00:46:05,351 --> 00:46:08,187
So we're basically on a lovemore
and dash adventure right now?
821
00:46:08,271 --> 00:46:09,311
How...
822
00:46:09,355 --> 00:46:10,356
What is that?
823
00:46:10,439 --> 00:46:12,817
What if Fairfax actually finds the crown?
824
00:46:12,900 --> 00:46:14,527
He won't. He won't.
825
00:46:16,570 --> 00:46:17,738
- Where do we go?
- Uh...
826
00:46:17,822 --> 00:46:19,365
Oh, oh, oh.
827
00:46:22,868 --> 00:46:24,870
Okay, we...
Uh, we need to get in the water.
828
00:46:24,954 --> 00:46:27,206
- W-What?
- We need to go by river.
829
00:46:27,290 --> 00:46:28,833
Oh, no, no, I don't really do water.
830
00:46:28,916 --> 00:46:31,645
What do you mean, "do water“?
I'm not asking you to procreate with it.
831
00:46:31,669 --> 00:46:34,255
Uh, my body and water
don't really go together.
832
00:46:34,338 --> 00:46:35,798
How do you feel about dying?
833
00:46:35,881 --> 00:46:37,508
- Oh, god.
- Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
834
00:46:37,591 --> 00:46:39,431
You're okay. You're okay.
I got you. I got you.
835
00:46:39,468 --> 00:46:41,512
- I can swim. I can swim.
- Fine.
836
00:46:42,096 --> 00:46:43,889
- Where are you going?
- I'm crossing.
837
00:46:43,973 --> 00:46:45,516
No, we have to stay in the water.
838
00:46:45,599 --> 00:46:48,328
I researched aquatic counter-tracking
for my book, a year in the bush.
839
00:46:48,352 --> 00:46:49,832
They'll lose our tracks in the water.
840
00:46:50,354 --> 00:46:53,274
Why is it warm here?
Wait, are you peeing?
841
00:46:53,357 --> 00:46:54,859
Just go around it.
842
00:47:24,055 --> 00:47:25,095
Okay, I think...
843
00:47:25,806 --> 00:47:27,725
I think we lost them, right?
844
00:47:27,808 --> 00:47:30,227
Yeah. That wasn't so bad. Yeah.
845
00:47:31,395 --> 00:47:32,563
Okay, uh...
846
00:47:33,147 --> 00:47:34,987
- Don't panic.
- What do you mean, don't panic?
847
00:47:35,066 --> 00:47:36,359
- Just don't panic.
- No.
848
00:47:36,442 --> 00:47:38,235
Stop saying "panic." I'm panicking now.
849
00:47:38,319 --> 00:47:39,862
You have something on your back.
850
00:47:41,530 --> 00:47:42,573
No!
851
00:47:42,656 --> 00:47:44,075
- Stop screaming.
- What is that?
852
00:47:44,158 --> 00:47:45,493
- What is that?
- Stop screaming.
853
00:47:45,576 --> 00:47:46,952
- Do you have any on you?
- No. No.
854
00:47:47,036 --> 00:47:48,371
Why don't you have any on you?
855
00:47:48,454 --> 00:47:50,664
Maybe the jumpsuit scared them off.
I don't know.
856
00:47:50,748 --> 00:47:51,999
- Get them off.
- Oh, my god.
857
00:47:52,083 --> 00:47:54,794
Okay. No, I can't touch
those blood-gorged mucous sacks.
858
00:47:54,877 --> 00:47:56,170
- Can you fling it?
- Right now.
859
00:47:56,253 --> 00:47:57,689
- Get it.
- Just pick it and fling it.
860
00:47:57,713 --> 00:47:59,816
- Just pick it and fling it.
- You pick it and fling it!
861
00:47:59,840 --> 00:48:01,967
- Can you spin it off?
- Please, get it off.
862
00:48:02,051 --> 00:48:04,136
I don't like touching it.
I'm feeling faint.
863
00:48:04,220 --> 00:48:07,181
- They're sucking my soul out.
- Okay, okay. Stop, stop, stop.
864
00:48:07,264 --> 00:48:08,641
[Gags}
865
00:48:08,724 --> 00:48:10,351
Don't make that sound.
866
00:48:14,772 --> 00:48:16,190
How many of them are there?
867
00:48:16,273 --> 00:48:17,942
There's not many.
868
00:48:18,025 --> 00:48:19,860
It feels like there's so many.
869
00:48:19,944 --> 00:48:21,153
I feel so many.
870
00:48:21,237 --> 00:48:24,156
- Oh! Holy mother of god!
- Why are you praying?
871
00:48:24,240 --> 00:48:27,118
Is it that bad? It can't be that bad.
Is it that bad? How many?
872
00:48:27,201 --> 00:48:28,285
It's not great.
873
00:48:28,369 --> 00:48:30,454
They're gonna suck every bit of me out.
874
00:48:30,538 --> 00:48:33,999
Please stop speaking.
I just need to get low. Hold on a second.
875
00:48:34,083 --> 00:48:37,837
Oh, god!
I can feel them just sucking out so much.
876
00:48:37,920 --> 00:48:40,798
I'm gonna be a shriveled-up skin sack
when they're done.
877
00:48:40,881 --> 00:48:42,925
You cannot tell my dad I died this way.
878
00:48:43,008 --> 00:48:47,096
You gotta tell him I was wrestling
an anaconda with a sword or something.
879
00:48:47,179 --> 00:48:49,974
I'm like a blood jamba juice.
They're just sucking it all out.
880
00:48:50,057 --> 00:48:51,642
Why are they all on my butt though?
881
00:48:51,725 --> 00:48:54,311
Kind of like picking anchovies
off my Caesar salad.
882
00:48:54,395 --> 00:48:56,021
- It's actually not so bad.
- Anchovies?
883
00:48:56,105 --> 00:48:57,857
Why do you go to food right now?
884
00:48:57,940 --> 00:49:00,818
Just find the queen,
and let's be done with this.
885
00:49:00,901 --> 00:49:03,154
Think you're good.
I just need to check your front.
886
00:49:03,237 --> 00:49:05,281
Okay. I can't look.
887
00:49:07,616 --> 00:49:09,034
Is it bad?
888
00:49:09,118 --> 00:49:12,288
- Uh, wow.
- What is it? Just say it.
889
00:49:12,371 --> 00:49:15,875
I mean, you expect it to, you know, not...
890
00:49:15,958 --> 00:49:18,669
Then suddenly there it is, and it is, uh...
891
00:49:18,752 --> 00:49:21,088
- You know, you get excited for a person.
- What?
892
00:49:21,172 --> 00:49:23,757
- I mean, I'm excited for all people.
- Why are you excited?
893
00:49:23,841 --> 00:49:26,051
Well, you know, people wonder,
they wonder,
894
00:49:26,135 --> 00:49:27,928
but they don't know, right?
895
00:49:28,012 --> 00:49:30,639
They don't, until suddenly they do know,
896
00:49:30,723 --> 00:49:34,935
and then they know something
that wasn't known before.
897
00:49:35,019 --> 00:49:36,896
Just do I have any leeches or not?
898
00:49:36,979 --> 00:49:40,941
Oh, your plucky warrior hangs
in tranquil solitude.
899
00:49:41,025 --> 00:49:42,109
What?
900
00:49:42,193 --> 00:49:44,236
No, you're good. You're good.
901
00:49:45,654 --> 00:49:49,116
We were so brave just then.
Why do they go for the butt so much?
902
00:50:11,096 --> 00:50:12,848
What's that song you're singing?
903
00:50:13,933 --> 00:50:16,685
A song my abbi used to sing to me
when I was a kid.
904
00:50:17,978 --> 00:50:20,189
- "If you suck life from the island...
- Yeah?
905
00:50:20,773 --> 00:50:22,608
The island will suck of you."
906
00:50:23,859 --> 00:50:27,613
Your grandma sang you songs
about getting sucked off by an island?
907
00:50:27,696 --> 00:50:29,823
It doesn't translate super well.
908
00:50:30,991 --> 00:50:33,827
Is phantom leech syndrome a thing?
909
00:50:33,911 --> 00:50:35,663
They don't lay eggs, do they?
910
00:51:24,837 --> 00:51:26,046
Queen taha?
911
00:51:39,810 --> 00:51:44,023
"King kalaman
and his treasure laid to rest...
912
00:51:45,190 --> 00:51:48,819
Laid to rest in the well of endless tears.
913
00:51:48,902 --> 00:51:50,863
Laid to rest in
the well of endless tears."
914
00:51:50,946 --> 00:51:52,506
- What does that mean?
- Loretta!
915
00:51:53,449 --> 00:51:54,992
You gave me a heart attack.
916
00:51:55,868 --> 00:51:57,161
Where'd you go?
917
00:52:01,540 --> 00:52:03,250
What is this?
918
00:52:03,334 --> 00:52:06,128
I'm not sure,
but maybe they gathered here?
919
00:52:09,089 --> 00:52:10,883
Can you imagine being right here,
920
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,428
right in this very spot back then?
921
00:52:15,012 --> 00:52:16,430
The stories that they told?
922
00:52:16,513 --> 00:52:18,974
So much history
I'm sure happened right here.
923
00:52:24,438 --> 00:52:25,939
They've got us cornered.
924
00:52:26,023 --> 00:52:27,900
- Okay. We've got to go up. Come on.
- What?
925
00:52:28,484 --> 00:52:30,944
Have you seen what I'm wearing?
I'm in a glitter straitjacket.
926
00:52:31,028 --> 00:52:34,031
There's nowhere to go but up.
Come on. Let's go.
927
00:52:34,948 --> 00:52:37,618
Ooh. I should not be doing this.
I'm too old for this.
928
00:52:37,701 --> 00:52:38,928
No, you're not. You're beautiful.
929
00:52:38,952 --> 00:52:42,790
I didn't say I'm not beautiful.
I said I'm too old to be doing this.
930
00:52:42,873 --> 00:52:46,460
My skill is sitting and thinking
and eating when I can't think.
931
00:52:46,543 --> 00:52:48,903
Yeah, you definitely could be wearing
better shoes for this.
932
00:52:48,962 --> 00:52:50,881
You brought me these shoes.
933
00:52:50,964 --> 00:52:53,467
I can't go any further.
I can't go any further.
934
00:52:53,550 --> 00:52:55,260
I'm not doing so great here.
935
00:52:55,344 --> 00:52:56,637
You got it. Come on.
936
00:52:56,720 --> 00:52:58,806
I know you think
that you're safer holding on,
937
00:52:58,889 --> 00:53:00,182
but you have to keep going.
938
00:53:00,265 --> 00:53:02,065
- I can't. I can't, I can't.
- Okay?
939
00:53:02,893 --> 00:53:04,561
- Do you smell that?
- Smell what?
940
00:53:04,645 --> 00:53:06,456
- I smell something.
- Is it a predator? What is it?
941
00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:08,291
- A downward cascading fire?
- You got to smell deeper.
942
00:53:08,315 --> 00:53:09,525
I don't smell anything!
943
00:53:13,028 --> 00:53:16,156
Take a big, deep breath.
944
00:53:16,240 --> 00:53:17,658
All right.
945
00:53:17,741 --> 00:53:19,535
- Good job.
- Okay.
946
00:53:20,119 --> 00:53:22,538
- That was manipulative. Thank you.
- Yeah, it was.
947
00:53:23,288 --> 00:53:25,708
Here we go. I'm gonna
help you out a little bit, all right?
948
00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:27,960
- One, two, three... here we go!
- What are you doing?
949
00:53:28,043 --> 00:53:29,545
- Get out of there.
- Come on.
950
00:53:29,628 --> 00:53:31,755
- No, no, don't flex.
- That's my hoo-hoo.
951
00:53:31,839 --> 00:53:34,591
Just ride the head.
Keep the hands moving and ride the head.
952
00:53:34,675 --> 00:53:36,093
- Oh, god.
- You're doing great.
953
00:53:36,176 --> 00:53:38,512
Sorry about the scratchy haircut. Come on.
954
00:53:58,782 --> 00:54:00,868
Dulcius ex asperis.
955
00:54:01,535 --> 00:54:02,911
What was that?
956
00:54:02,995 --> 00:54:04,705
Oh, nothing.
957
00:54:04,788 --> 00:54:07,082
It was just something
that John and I would say
958
00:54:07,166 --> 00:54:10,377
after we finished something big, like a...
959
00:54:10,461 --> 00:54:12,463
Like an archaeological dig
or a manuscript.
960
00:54:12,546 --> 00:54:15,424
It's Latin.
It means "sweeter after difficulty."
961
00:54:16,884 --> 00:54:18,385
What's, uh...
962
00:54:18,469 --> 00:54:20,429
What's Latin for "Loretta's a badass"?
963
00:54:20,512 --> 00:54:24,141
I am a badass.
I climbed a mountain.
964
00:54:25,017 --> 00:54:28,020
Oh, my god.
I wish Beth could've seen us do this.
965
00:54:28,103 --> 00:54:30,939
- Oh, god. Beth.
- Don't worry about Beth.
966
00:54:31,523 --> 00:54:33,901
She's probably got the whole Navy
after us right now.
967
00:54:34,777 --> 00:54:36,653
I get that you think you have to go
968
00:54:36,737 --> 00:54:37,964
to the island authorities yourself
969
00:54:37,988 --> 00:54:41,325
but don't worry, I'm keeping
Loretta's socials super active.
970
00:54:41,408 --> 00:54:43,702
Just tweeted, ”did I just get kidnapped?
971
00:54:43,786 --> 00:54:47,456
♪ Fll/il, @shawnll/lendes, ♪shawnmendes. ”
972
00:54:47,539 --> 00:54:49,219
And you're traveling alone?
973
00:54:49,249 --> 00:54:51,794
Yes, I'm traveling alone.
Mm-hmm. I'm single.
974
00:54:52,586 --> 00:54:53,629
Then this might work.
975
00:54:53,712 --> 00:54:55,964
- Okay! Talk to me.
- You'll hit New York.
976
00:54:56,048 --> 00:54:59,218
From there, you'll fly to Guinea,
where you can pick up a puddle jumper.
977
00:54:59,301 --> 00:55:00,344
A what?
978
00:55:01,470 --> 00:55:02,989
- Small plane.
- Yeah, no leg room.
979
00:55:03,013 --> 00:55:04,306
That's fine. I'll take it.
980
00:55:04,389 --> 00:55:06,183
- Or you could just come home.
- Thank you.
981
00:55:14,274 --> 00:55:16,735
We need something more flammable.
Everything is just so wet.
982
00:55:16,819 --> 00:55:18,779
- What's in here? What's in your bag?
- Uh...
983
00:55:18,862 --> 00:55:21,865
- Oh, a lot. Okay.
- What are... uh, what you doing?
984
00:55:21,949 --> 00:55:23,826
Okay. Face masks.
985
00:55:23,909 --> 00:55:25,509
Yeah, that was like a gift-basket thing.
986
00:55:25,536 --> 00:55:27,329
You brought a scented candle
into the jungle?
987
00:55:27,412 --> 00:55:28,664
My mom gave me that.
988
00:55:28,747 --> 00:55:30,582
It was like a weird gift for mother's day.
989
00:55:30,666 --> 00:55:32,543
Your mom gives you gifts for mother's day?
990
00:55:32,626 --> 00:55:35,003
Uh, noir... oh.
991
00:55:35,087 --> 00:55:36,797
Eucalyptus Rosemary oil. Ooh.
992
00:55:37,381 --> 00:55:38,924
- Oh, that smells good.
- Um-_
993
00:55:39,007 --> 00:55:40,884
Oh, oh, okay. All right.
994
00:55:40,968 --> 00:55:42,928
Whoo! Yes!
995
00:55:43,011 --> 00:55:44,972
Yes, I made fire!
996
00:55:45,681 --> 00:55:49,184
- That's pretty impressive. You have to...
- It is a beautiful fire.
997
00:55:49,268 --> 00:55:51,228
Who would have thought? Oh!
998
00:55:51,311 --> 00:55:53,397
Oh, you're just, um, taking your...
Your shirt off?
999
00:55:54,815 --> 00:55:56,817
That looks really uncomfortable.
1000
00:55:56,900 --> 00:55:58,819
Are you okay? The back?
1001
00:55:58,902 --> 00:56:03,031
Yeah. That is why I don't do water.
1002
00:56:03,115 --> 00:56:05,576
- Okay.
- My body becomes an eighth-grader's face.
1003
00:56:05,659 --> 00:56:08,287
Do you have anything for it?
Like some ointment or something?
1004
00:56:08,370 --> 00:56:10,497
Yeah, I do. Well, I did.
1005
00:56:10,581 --> 00:56:12,499
It was in a little, tiny little bottle.
1006
00:56:12,583 --> 00:56:14,585
It was this. I'm sorry.
1007
00:56:14,668 --> 00:56:16,753
Oh, god, I'm sorry.
1008
00:56:16,837 --> 00:56:18,297
It's okay.
1009
00:56:18,380 --> 00:56:20,591
- Hold on. Yes. Come here. Come here.
- What?
1010
00:56:20,674 --> 00:56:23,218
- Come here. Sit down.
- Let me see.
1011
00:56:23,302 --> 00:56:24,845
- Just sit down.
- Right here?
1012
00:56:24,928 --> 00:56:25,928
Yeah.
1013
00:56:27,097 --> 00:56:28,098
Okay.
1014
00:56:28,724 --> 00:56:30,910
Oh, no, you don't have to touch it.
It's okay. It's fine.
1015
00:56:30,934 --> 00:56:32,978
I touched your engorged sacks, so...
1016
00:56:35,188 --> 00:56:36,899
- The leeches.
- Oh, okay.
1017
00:56:37,482 --> 00:56:39,484
Okay, this might be a little bit cold.
1018
00:56:40,777 --> 00:56:42,487
- Sorry.
- Oh, yeah. Mm-hmm.
1019
00:56:42,571 --> 00:56:44,156
Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
1020
00:56:44,239 --> 00:56:46,241
Maybe this is how dash should die.
1021
00:56:46,325 --> 00:56:49,161
Horrible eczema outbreak. That's so sexy.
1022
00:56:49,244 --> 00:56:50,662
Oh, I could make it work.
1023
00:56:51,246 --> 00:56:52,247
Yeah?
1024
00:56:53,081 --> 00:56:54,374
All right, then.
1025
00:56:55,667 --> 00:56:57,377
How would you write this?
1026
00:56:57,461 --> 00:56:58,795
Okay.
1027
00:57:00,923 --> 00:57:04,092
"Warmed by the fragrant fire..."
1028
00:57:04,176 --> 00:57:06,803
Mm-hmm.
1029
00:57:06,887 --> 00:57:08,805
- Starting strong.
- Mm-hmm.
1030
00:57:09,389 --> 00:57:11,808
"Lovemore's hands explored the...
1031
00:57:13,769 --> 00:57:16,188
The contoured scenery
1032
00:57:16,271 --> 00:57:17,731
of dash's body.
1033
00:57:20,150 --> 00:57:22,069
Familiar terrain made
1034
00:57:22,903 --> 00:57:25,072
new and exciting with every...
1035
00:57:26,239 --> 00:57:28,992
With every Scarlet rim.“
1036
00:57:29,576 --> 00:57:31,161
And that... it didn't, uh...
1037
00:57:32,204 --> 00:57:33,664
Didn't turn her off?
1038
00:57:35,540 --> 00:57:37,542
"Because with every cardinal Ridge,
1039
00:57:38,710 --> 00:57:41,129
lovemore discovered
another letter in the language
1040
00:57:41,213 --> 00:57:43,173
that only their bodies spoke."
1041
00:57:44,299 --> 00:57:46,218
And what were their bodies saying?
1042
00:57:48,220 --> 00:57:49,596
"Take me...
1043
00:57:51,765 --> 00:57:53,266
Take me,
1044
00:57:54,017 --> 00:57:55,602
take me."
1045
00:57:55,686 --> 00:57:56,812
How's that?
1046
00:57:57,854 --> 00:57:58,939
It was good.
1047
00:57:59,022 --> 00:58:00,941
- Your back. I mean, how is your back?
- Good.
1048
00:58:01,024 --> 00:58:02,651
- Okay. You sure?
- Yeah.
1049
00:58:02,734 --> 00:58:06,947
- I also meant my back. Right there, yeah.
- Okay.
1050
00:58:15,330 --> 00:58:16,331
Supplies.
1051
00:58:18,250 --> 00:58:22,921
Okay, I'm chilly. I think I'm gonna
probably turn in in a little bit.
1052
00:58:23,005 --> 00:58:24,297
- Okay.
- You good?
1053
00:58:24,381 --> 00:58:27,009
Yeah, I'm fire... fine. I'm fine.
1054
00:58:27,092 --> 00:58:29,761
I'm not "fire." I'm fine by the fire.
1055
00:58:30,637 --> 00:58:32,264
Okay. All right.
1056
00:58:40,522 --> 00:58:43,817
Uh, I... I... it's up to you,
but if you're cold,
1057
00:58:43,900 --> 00:58:47,696
maybe we could probably both fit in here,
if you... if you wanted to.
1058
00:58:47,779 --> 00:58:50,115
M... both of us?
1059
00:58:50,198 --> 00:58:53,452
- Only if you want to. I mean, it's just...
- Yeah, no, that sounds...
1060
00:58:53,535 --> 00:58:56,580
Uh, okay. How do you...
1061
00:58:56,663 --> 00:58:58,498
You can go first, then I'll figure it out.
1062
00:58:58,582 --> 00:59:02,044
No, no, you go. It's definitely
a "ladies first" type of situation.
1063
00:59:02,127 --> 00:59:04,814
- Keep hands out of the bag at all times.
- That's what I was gonna do.
1064
00:59:04,838 --> 00:59:06,524
- Butt to butt.
- Hands out and butt to butt.
1065
00:59:06,548 --> 00:59:09,760
- Yeah. What do I do?
- Just get in. Go ahead and sit.
1066
00:59:09,843 --> 00:59:12,429
I sit first? Okay. I'm in.
1067
00:59:14,264 --> 00:59:16,892
You're too heavy. You're gonna
flip this thing like a cruise ship.
1068
00:59:16,975 --> 00:59:19,644
You watch yourself.
Hold on. I'm not in.
1069
00:59:23,565 --> 00:59:24,691
How 'bout you shimmy?
1070
00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:27,652
- Um, I can't breathe. I'm not breathing.
- Are you good?
1071
00:59:27,736 --> 00:59:28,862
My face.
1072
00:59:29,613 --> 00:59:30,947
Yeah. Okay.
1073
00:59:34,034 --> 00:59:35,452
Hands are out. Butt to butt.
1074
00:59:35,535 --> 00:59:36,536
Okay.
1075
01:00:07,859 --> 01:00:09,402
Well!
1076
01:00:09,486 --> 01:00:10,695
Come on.
1077
01:00:10,779 --> 01:00:12,614
Come on! Let's hear it!
1078
01:00:12,697 --> 01:00:16,118
Let's give a nice round of applause
to Loretta!
1079
01:00:16,201 --> 01:00:17,786
She earned it.
1080
01:00:17,869 --> 01:00:21,790
A geriatric shut-in left you
holding your dicks in the jungle.
1081
01:00:22,374 --> 01:00:23,375
Good job, Loretta.
1082
01:00:23,959 --> 01:00:26,128
Boss, come on. People are dying now.
1083
01:00:26,711 --> 01:00:29,548
Don't you think that maybe
this has all gone too far?
1084
01:00:30,882 --> 01:00:32,175
Is it really worth it?
1085
01:00:32,884 --> 01:00:36,179
I am on the cusp
of attaining the unattainable.
1086
01:00:36,263 --> 01:00:39,307
Something singular, something no nation,
1087
01:00:39,391 --> 01:00:42,936
no emperor,
no brownnosing brothers ever have.
1088
01:00:43,019 --> 01:00:45,856
The legendary crown of fire.
1089
01:00:46,439 --> 01:00:47,440
So, yes.
1090
01:00:47,941 --> 01:00:50,277
Yes, I would definitely say it's worth it.
1091
01:00:59,786 --> 01:01:01,246
Excuse me!
1092
01:01:01,955 --> 01:01:04,291
Excuse me, sir. I need to get
to my next connecting flight.
1093
01:01:04,374 --> 01:01:05,792
No flight.
1094
01:01:05,876 --> 01:01:08,628
The pilot is sick. Come tomorrow.
1095
01:01:08,712 --> 01:01:10,898
No, no, sir. I cannot come tomorrow.
I need to do this today.
1096
01:01:10,922 --> 01:01:14,050
I need to get to the island
Isla hundida tonight.
1097
01:01:14,134 --> 01:01:15,510
Lives are at stake.
1098
01:01:15,594 --> 01:01:16,928
Come tomorrow.
1099
01:01:20,974 --> 01:01:22,851
- Excuse me, miss?
- Yes?
1100
01:01:22,934 --> 01:01:26,021
I couldn't help but overhear you say
that you like steak.
1101
01:01:26,980 --> 01:01:29,774
Okay, this is a little bit crazy,
1102
01:01:30,442 --> 01:01:32,235
but I also like steak.
1103
01:01:32,319 --> 01:01:34,779
- What?
- I also like steak.
1104
01:01:34,863 --> 01:01:38,241
Would you like to, maybe, I don't know...
1105
01:01:38,325 --> 01:01:41,161
- Maybe there's a...
- No. "Lives are at stake."
1106
01:01:41,244 --> 01:01:42,913
I need to go to the island tonight.
1107
01:01:42,996 --> 01:01:44,623
-Yes.
1108
01:01:44,706 --> 01:01:46,041
- Even more serious.
- Extremely.
1109
01:01:46,124 --> 01:01:49,377
Well, I believe
that I may be able to assist you.
1110
01:01:49,461 --> 01:01:51,087
I have a cargo plane.
1111
01:01:52,339 --> 01:01:55,300
Maybe after I make my delivery,
we could swing by your island.
1112
01:01:56,551 --> 01:01:59,095
I'm gonna ask you something,
and you better tell me the truth.
1113
01:01:59,179 --> 01:02:01,056
Have you ever murdered anyone before?
1114
01:02:08,146 --> 01:02:10,857
I don't know if I really buy it,
but let me tell you something.
1115
01:02:10,941 --> 01:02:15,070
If you ever think about murdering me,
I promise, I will murder you first.
1116
01:02:15,153 --> 01:02:16,613
My pleasure.
1117
01:02:16,696 --> 01:02:18,448
You are weird. Let's go.
1118
01:03:14,337 --> 01:03:17,424
"King kalaman and his treasure
laid to rest in the well
1119
01:03:18,133 --> 01:03:19,467
of endless tears."
1120
01:03:21,344 --> 01:03:22,345
What is that?
1121
01:03:23,763 --> 01:03:26,433
Oh, it's a... it's a thing.
I mean, it's not... uh...
1122
01:03:27,225 --> 01:03:29,561
You know, it's not what you think it is.
1123
01:03:29,644 --> 01:03:33,440
So it's not Fairfax's fragment
of an ancient parchment?
1124
01:03:33,523 --> 01:03:37,360
Okay. It's what you...
What you think it is.
1125
01:03:37,444 --> 01:03:39,088
Loretta, I thought
you were smarter than that.
1126
01:03:39,112 --> 01:03:41,656
Fairfax is never
gonna stop hunting us now.
1127
01:03:41,740 --> 01:03:42,907
What were you thinking?
1128
01:03:42,991 --> 01:03:46,745
We have a volcano that could Bury the tomb
before we get to it, before we see it,
1129
01:03:46,828 --> 01:03:48,705
before we preserve its memory.
1130
01:03:48,788 --> 01:03:50,788
- This is...
- I'm sorry. Is that what we're doing?
1131
01:03:50,832 --> 01:03:53,293
'Cause no one told me.
When were you gonna tell me?
1132
01:03:53,376 --> 01:03:54,669
Why would I tell you?
1133
01:03:54,753 --> 01:03:56,755
We're in this together.
I came here to rescue you.
1134
01:03:56,838 --> 01:03:58,506
You know you're not dash, right?
1135
01:03:58,590 --> 01:04:00,925
You don't ride in on a white horse
to rescue people.
1136
01:04:01,009 --> 01:04:05,305
You... spray yourself with bronzer
and you stand in front of wind machines,
1137
01:04:05,388 --> 01:04:06,890
which is great for you.
1138
01:04:06,973 --> 01:04:09,684
How would you have any idea
what I'm actually like?
1139
01:04:09,768 --> 01:04:12,729
I know you.
You're a pretty open book, Alan.
1140
01:04:12,812 --> 01:04:14,397
- Okay, then who am I?
- Really?
1141
01:04:14,481 --> 01:04:15,482
Yeah.
1142
01:04:17,484 --> 01:04:20,111
O... okay, uh, uh...
1143
01:04:20,195 --> 01:04:23,365
You were a homecoming king
and you coasted on your good looks to la,
1144
01:04:23,448 --> 01:04:26,010
but then realized that being the most
handsome kid in the middle of nowhere
1145
01:04:26,034 --> 01:04:27,511
doesn't mean you're going to be a star.
1146
01:04:27,535 --> 01:04:29,722
Until one day, when a woman
who couldn't publish her book
1147
01:04:29,746 --> 01:04:33,249
on Spanish colonization in the Atlantic
decided to write a romance novel,
1148
01:04:33,333 --> 01:04:35,502
chose you at random to be on the cover.
1149
01:04:35,585 --> 01:04:38,963
Lucky for you and her,
the novels were a smashing success.
1150
01:04:39,047 --> 01:04:42,092
She kept writing her schlock,
you kept posing...
1151
01:04:42,175 --> 01:04:46,930
Um, you know, neither one of us becoming
who we'd hoped we would be.
1152
01:04:47,555 --> 01:04:51,559
Uh, and then one day,
we both die in the jungle
1153
01:04:51,643 --> 01:04:55,522
on one of those Atlantic islands
I wrote about all those years ago.
1154
01:04:55,605 --> 01:04:56,606
Right?
1155
01:04:57,982 --> 01:04:58,983
Mm-hmm.
1156
01:05:10,829 --> 01:05:12,247
It was sarasota, by the way.
1157
01:05:12,914 --> 01:05:13,915
It's not nowhere.
1158
01:05:14,749 --> 01:05:16,876
I grew up there with my mom
and two sisters.
1159
01:05:16,960 --> 01:05:17,961
And yeah.
1160
01:05:19,212 --> 01:05:21,881
I started modeling
'cause I wanted to get away.
1161
01:05:21,965 --> 01:05:25,468
It was the only job that I could think of
that could take me to all of the places
1162
01:05:25,552 --> 01:05:27,137
that I always dreamed of going.
1163
01:05:27,220 --> 01:05:28,638
Then finally to Los Angeles,
1164
01:05:28,721 --> 01:05:31,683
where I posed on the cover
of your romance novel.
1165
01:05:31,766 --> 01:05:34,477
I was so embarrassed
that one of my friends might've seen me
1166
01:05:34,561 --> 01:05:36,771
in that wig on the cover of your book
1167
01:05:36,855 --> 01:05:39,190
that I avoided talking to them for months.
1168
01:05:40,442 --> 01:05:41,776
And then one day,
1169
01:05:42,652 --> 01:05:44,571
I'm walking home,
1170
01:05:44,654 --> 01:05:46,990
and I hear this lady yell, "dash!"
1171
01:05:47,615 --> 01:05:50,201
She runs up, and she is so happy.
1172
01:05:50,285 --> 01:05:54,038
Then I thought,
"how could I be this embarrassed
1173
01:05:54,122 --> 01:05:56,416
about something
that makes people this happy?"
1174
01:06:00,086 --> 01:06:01,606
Loretta, you can do whatever you want.
1175
01:06:02,172 --> 01:06:04,052
If you don't want to write anymore,
don't write.
1176
01:06:04,090 --> 01:06:08,511
But don't minimize the people
that love your work by calling it schlock.
1177
01:06:09,095 --> 01:06:11,055
That's not fair to them.
1178
01:06:12,557 --> 01:06:13,892
You know what's ironic?
1179
01:06:13,975 --> 01:06:17,479
I thought you of all people would know
not to judge a book by its cover.
1180
01:06:21,983 --> 01:06:25,069
Judge a book by its cover model.
1181
01:06:55,808 --> 01:06:57,018
Alan?
1182
01:06:57,101 --> 01:06:58,245
Alan.
1183
01:07:09,781 --> 01:07:11,533
Oh, there's two of them.
1184
01:07:18,039 --> 01:07:20,416
- Loretta! I'm over here!
- Alan!
1185
01:07:21,751 --> 01:07:24,337
Alan! Motorcycles and guns,
motorcycles and guns!
1186
01:07:24,837 --> 01:07:26,673
Come this way!
1187
01:07:27,549 --> 01:07:28,550
Stop shooting!
1188
01:07:34,097 --> 01:07:35,697
- Just give 'em the parchment!
- I can't.
1189
01:07:35,765 --> 01:07:38,810
Yes, you can, actually.
You just say, "here," and throw it at 'em.
1190
01:07:38,893 --> 01:07:41,312
Right. And then I'm sure
they'll happily let us go.
1191
01:07:41,396 --> 01:07:43,316
- Okay, keep down.
- How do they keep finding us?
1192
01:07:43,356 --> 01:07:45,834
- You're basically a walking disco ball.
- We need to come up with a plan.
1193
01:07:45,858 --> 01:07:46,859
I have an idea.
1194
01:07:46,943 --> 01:07:48,653
We're gonna dig a hole, throw our voices.
1195
01:07:48,736 --> 01:07:50,697
"We're over here."
Can you sound like a bird?
1196
01:07:50,780 --> 01:07:53,199
- No, I have a plan.
- Alan, please, I'm thinking.
1197
01:07:53,283 --> 01:07:56,494
- I know, but I have a plan.
- Please, just let me think about...
1198
01:07:57,704 --> 01:08:00,599
- Wait a minute. They're shooting at you.
- Yeah, that's why we're hiding.
1199
01:08:00,623 --> 01:08:02,625
No. They're shooting only at you.
1200
01:08:03,126 --> 01:08:05,795
They won't shoot me.
It's my brain that's valuable.
1201
01:08:06,963 --> 01:08:09,549
I don't think you actually hear
the things you say sometimes.
1202
01:08:09,632 --> 01:08:12,510
- Maybe I can shield you.
- You are not shielding me.
1203
01:08:12,594 --> 01:08:14,405
- I should be shielding you.
- Why? Because I'm a woman?
1204
01:08:14,429 --> 01:08:15,430
That's supremely sexist.
1205
01:08:15,513 --> 01:08:17,932
I don't think using women as human shields
1206
01:08:18,016 --> 01:08:20,768
is exactly the change
that Gloria Seinfeld had in mind, do you?
1207
01:08:20,852 --> 01:08:22,478
Gloria steinem?
1208
01:08:22,562 --> 01:08:25,541
Whatever. Her too. You know what? Fine.
Please mansplain sexism to me right now.
1209
01:08:25,565 --> 01:08:29,152
Oh, my god. I am a woman.
I can't mansplain anything.
1210
01:08:29,235 --> 01:08:32,739
Uh, I'm a feminist, and I think a woman
can do anything a man can do.
1211
01:08:33,990 --> 01:08:35,830
We just need to stay here
until they get tired.
1212
01:08:35,908 --> 01:08:38,036
- I have an idea. Can I tell you my plan?
- Alan!
1213
01:08:38,119 --> 01:08:41,664
This is not a situation you can get out of
by ripping your shirt off.
1214
01:08:41,748 --> 01:08:43,416
Not my shirt.
1215
01:09:14,947 --> 01:09:16,366
Three!
1216
01:09:16,449 --> 01:09:17,909
- Yes!
- Oh!
1217
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:24,207
Oh.
1218
01:09:24,290 --> 01:09:27,627
Um, that was different
than I had in my head.
1219
01:09:28,211 --> 01:09:29,671
I just wanted us to stop them.
1220
01:09:29,754 --> 01:09:31,674
Could it have been the wind
that made it do that?
1221
01:09:31,714 --> 01:09:33,883
No, I think it was
us. I think... we did it.
1222
01:09:33,966 --> 01:09:36,511
We did the one guy, right?
But that was, like...
1223
01:09:36,594 --> 01:09:39,847
We just wanted him to stop.
But the other guy could've moved, really.
1224
01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:42,141
So, that one was on him.
1225
01:09:42,225 --> 01:09:45,103
Even if we weren't here,
that could've happened.
1226
01:09:45,186 --> 01:09:46,896
Why are you gonna stop next to a cliff?
1227
01:09:46,979 --> 01:09:49,565
But they... they were wearing helmets,
so maybe they're...
1228
01:09:49,649 --> 01:09:51,693
But the rest of their body
didn't have a helmet.
1229
01:09:51,776 --> 01:09:53,069
So there'd just be a head.
1230
01:09:53,152 --> 01:09:55,363
They were driving recklessly, right?
1231
01:09:55,446 --> 01:09:57,073
Don't be mean on a bike.
1232
01:09:57,949 --> 01:09:59,367
Don't do mean stuff on a bike.
1233
01:10:03,413 --> 01:10:05,081
I mean, perhaps they're fine.
1234
01:10:05,790 --> 01:10:08,376
Yeah, probably not. Uh, but that's okay.
1235
01:10:08,459 --> 01:10:12,296
That's all right. You know, things...
Things happen. Let's go.
1236
01:10:14,841 --> 01:10:17,885
- What, are you gonna put it back together?
- It's on loan.
1237
01:10:30,857 --> 01:10:33,067
- Look at me.
- Okay.
1238
01:10:33,985 --> 01:10:36,195
What more can I do, you know?
1239
01:10:36,279 --> 01:10:38,239
You've done so much already, Beth.
1240
01:10:38,322 --> 01:10:41,409
My poor, sweet, little Nana
has lost her sight.
1241
01:10:41,492 --> 01:10:45,913
The book release is a complete disaster,
which I've leveraged everything on,
1242
01:10:45,997 --> 01:10:48,458
so I'm probably,
most definitely broke right now.
1243
01:10:48,541 --> 01:10:51,669
And most importantly, I've lost a writer.
1244
01:10:51,753 --> 01:10:53,463
Who does that? Who loses a writer?
1245
01:10:53,546 --> 01:10:57,925
Okay, Beth, you remind me
of my best friend, Randy.
1246
01:10:58,009 --> 01:11:00,470
Always looking out for other people,
1247
01:11:00,553 --> 01:11:02,722
never taking care of herself.
1248
01:11:03,973 --> 01:11:05,391
Isn't that right, Randy?
1249
01:11:07,894 --> 01:11:09,771
She's like my therapist,
this one over here.
1250
01:11:09,854 --> 01:11:11,439
Lol. "Laughing out loud."
1251
01:11:12,106 --> 01:11:13,816
After you take care of your friend,
1252
01:11:14,942 --> 01:11:16,402
how about we go to a beach?
1253
01:11:16,486 --> 01:11:18,905
- What?
- Look, I have a pickup in Hawaii.
1254
01:11:19,489 --> 01:11:20,990
She doesn't have to come.
1255
01:11:21,073 --> 01:11:23,868
Okay! Okay, you can come!
1256
01:11:24,368 --> 01:11:25,703
She's hilarious.
1257
01:11:26,704 --> 01:11:28,206
Let me ask you something.
1258
01:11:28,289 --> 01:11:30,833
We're all sitting here chitchatting,
but who's flying the plane?
1259
01:11:30,917 --> 01:11:32,877
- Autopilot.
- What?
1260
01:11:32,960 --> 01:11:35,338
Sir, go to the cockpit, fly the plane.
1261
01:11:35,922 --> 01:11:36,923
Okay.
1262
01:11:37,840 --> 01:11:39,634
I'm going to go land the plane.
1263
01:11:39,717 --> 01:11:41,302
Okay.
1264
01:11:41,385 --> 01:11:43,305
No, no, no.
Take the goat. Please, take the goat.
1265
01:11:43,387 --> 01:11:45,723
She's on break. Enjoy the flight!
1266
01:12:21,217 --> 01:12:22,426
-Hola.
1267
01:12:27,181 --> 01:12:29,851
This English dude came in
and basically kidnapped her.
1268
01:12:31,769 --> 01:12:35,189
Hey, its Beth. Please leave a message,
and III get right back to you.
1269
01:12:35,273 --> 01:12:38,192
Uh, hi, Beth.
1270
01:12:38,276 --> 01:12:39,360
It's... it's me.
1271
01:12:39,443 --> 01:12:41,028
Uh, I'm alive!
1272
01:12:41,988 --> 01:12:43,948
Uh, listen, um...
1273
01:12:47,869 --> 01:12:51,747
I'm sorry that I blew up the book tour.
1274
01:12:53,916 --> 01:12:56,043
I was just afraid
1275
01:12:57,211 --> 01:12:59,088
and selfish. Uh...
1276
01:12:59,171 --> 01:13:02,466
Oh, here comes Alan. I'll call you back.
1277
01:13:05,052 --> 01:13:08,139
So, uh, police are searching for Fairfax,
1278
01:13:08,222 --> 01:13:10,600
and they're gonna provide us protection
while we're here.
1279
01:13:10,683 --> 01:13:12,727
Did they say how long we'd be here?
1280
01:13:12,810 --> 01:13:15,438
They're gonna try to get us
on a puddle jumper later this evening.
1281
01:13:15,521 --> 01:13:17,841
But, uh, they said in the meantime,
the inn is really nice,
1282
01:13:17,899 --> 01:13:20,234
and we can get cleaned up
and maybe a change of clothes.
1283
01:13:20,318 --> 01:13:21,319
Okay.
1284
01:13:25,114 --> 01:13:26,532
Okay. Yeah.
1285
01:14:19,543 --> 01:14:20,836
Thank you.
1286
01:14:21,545 --> 01:14:24,924
Come on.
1287
01:14:25,007 --> 01:14:26,300
Dance with your husband.
1288
01:14:26,384 --> 01:14:28,219
- No, no, no.
- He's not my husband.
1289
01:14:28,302 --> 01:14:29,845
- It's okay.
- Dance with him.
1290
01:14:29,929 --> 01:14:32,723
No, no. She doesn't want to.
She doesn't have the right shoes.
1291
01:14:32,807 --> 01:14:35,267
Actually, it's the only thing
these shoes are right for.
1292
01:14:35,893 --> 01:14:37,478
You don't have to do this.
1293
01:14:37,561 --> 01:14:39,230
It's okay. It's okay.
1294
01:14:40,106 --> 01:14:41,107
Yeah?
1295
01:15:59,810 --> 01:16:01,479
I wonder what she's saying.
1296
01:16:03,898 --> 01:16:05,316
It's folklore.
1297
01:16:06,776 --> 01:16:09,070
Love song about a woman
1298
01:16:09,153 --> 01:16:12,073
whose lover died,
and she didn't want to leave his side.
1299
01:16:13,240 --> 01:16:16,118
So she laid down and refused to get up.
1300
01:16:16,702 --> 01:16:17,828
Must be scary.
1301
01:16:18,496 --> 01:16:22,374
Having to face your future without
the person that you planned it with.
1302
01:16:34,845 --> 01:16:36,263
What was that?
1303
01:16:38,682 --> 01:16:42,311
Excuse me. The last line that you sang.
1304
01:16:42,394 --> 01:16:44,730
G ouién I/orarajunto a mi?
1305
01:16:47,733 --> 01:16:50,569
"The island will weep for me
in the well of endless tears."
1306
01:16:50,653 --> 01:16:53,989
What is that, the well of endless tears?
Is that a real place, or...
1307
01:16:54,073 --> 01:16:55,366
Sinkhole place.
1308
01:16:57,493 --> 01:16:59,203
Thank you. Gracias, gracias.
1309
01:16:59,286 --> 01:17:01,122
- Come here, come here.
- What is it?
1310
01:17:02,915 --> 01:17:04,875
Hey, on the parchment, it said,
1311
01:17:04,959 --> 01:17:08,963
"king kalaman and his treasure laid
to rest in the well of endless tears."
1312
01:17:09,046 --> 01:17:10,923
I thought maybe it was a metaphor.
1313
01:17:11,507 --> 01:17:13,300
It's not.
1314
01:17:13,384 --> 01:17:16,262
The well of endless tears is a place.
1315
01:17:16,345 --> 01:17:18,389
It's a sinkhole.
1316
01:17:18,472 --> 01:17:20,474
There's a sinkhole on the map.
1317
01:17:21,934 --> 01:17:23,894
I think the tomb is there.
1318
01:17:23,978 --> 01:17:26,272
- This is so much better than your books.
- What?
1319
01:17:26,355 --> 01:17:28,041
There's like...
No, I don't mean any offense.
1320
01:17:28,065 --> 01:17:29,709
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- It's, like, equal.
1321
01:17:29,733 --> 01:17:32,212
- I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
- Look at you. You want to go there.
1322
01:17:32,236 --> 01:17:34,321
- What? No.
- I can see. Yes, you do.
1323
01:17:34,405 --> 01:17:37,575
That would be insane.
That would be insane. I just... I just...
1324
01:17:37,658 --> 01:17:41,745
It's just that we're so close to it,
but, you know, we can't...
1325
01:17:43,080 --> 01:17:45,916
This is your story.
How do you want to write it?
1326
01:17:46,876 --> 01:17:49,128
I... I'd like to know that it's there,
1327
01:17:49,211 --> 01:17:50,838
that all this meant something.
1328
01:17:50,921 --> 01:17:52,214
Okay. Then let's go.
1329
01:17:53,132 --> 01:17:54,216
We'll stay one more day.
1330
01:17:54,300 --> 01:17:56,736
As soon as the sun's up, we're gonna
go find the well of endless tears.
1331
01:17:56,760 --> 01:17:59,513
- But what if it's nothing?
- So what? Then we say we tried.
1332
01:17:59,597 --> 01:18:00,848
And Fairfax?
1333
01:18:00,931 --> 01:18:03,267
The cops are after Fairfax.
Don't worry about him.
1334
01:18:04,393 --> 01:18:06,187
- This is crazy.
- Yeah, but look at you.
1335
01:18:06,270 --> 01:18:07,146
What?
1336
01:18:07,229 --> 01:18:09,982
It's the very first time
I've ever seen you totally unafraid.
1337
01:18:10,774 --> 01:18:12,401
And alive.
1338
01:18:12,484 --> 01:18:15,237
I'm gonna go tell them our plans
have changed and find us a ride.
1339
01:18:15,321 --> 01:18:16,614
Where are you going?
1340
01:18:21,118 --> 01:18:22,578
I see you met my friend here.
1341
01:18:23,495 --> 01:18:26,999
He told me you were just about
to jump on a plane,
1342
01:18:27,082 --> 01:18:29,084
without so much as saying goodbye.
1343
01:18:29,710 --> 01:18:33,297
I said, "no way. Not my Loretta.
1344
01:18:33,881 --> 01:18:37,468
Not when she's the only one
who can lead me to the tomb."
1345
01:18:41,013 --> 01:18:42,806
Stop squeezing so hard.
1346
01:18:43,849 --> 01:18:46,602
Ow, ow. Get your hands off of me!
1347
01:18:47,478 --> 01:18:49,271
Ow! Let go!
1348
01:18:49,897 --> 01:18:52,900
I... I need a car. A car, an auto.
Does anybody have an auto?
1349
01:19:01,533 --> 01:19:02,576
No, no. No.
1350
01:19:03,494 --> 01:19:06,622
I need an auto. I'll trade you my watch.
It's a really expensive watch.
1351
01:19:06,705 --> 01:19:09,416
Do you have a car? It's a bulgari.
This thing glows in the dark.
1352
01:19:09,500 --> 01:19:11,020
- It's waterproof.
- I have motorcycle.
1353
01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:25,975
Cool, isn't it?
1354
01:19:26,517 --> 01:19:29,812
I always thought, why can't
your personal tank also have a minibar?
1355
01:19:29,895 --> 01:19:32,356
Have a drink.
1356
01:19:32,439 --> 01:19:33,941
- Do you mind?
- Uh, yes.
1357
01:19:34,024 --> 01:19:37,027
He has a bit of a grudge against you,
I'm afraid.
1358
01:19:37,111 --> 01:19:39,655
Something about a motorbike accident
his friends had?
1359
01:19:39,738 --> 01:19:41,031
Why are you doing this?
1360
01:19:41,115 --> 01:19:42,825
I want something nobody else has.
1361
01:19:43,575 --> 01:19:45,452
When my father gifted...
1362
01:19:48,539 --> 01:19:50,249
As I was saying,
1363
01:19:50,332 --> 01:19:53,294
when my father gifted his empire
1364
01:19:53,377 --> 01:19:56,547
to my baby brother...
1365
01:20:02,803 --> 01:20:04,179
Who is that?
1366
01:20:13,105 --> 01:20:15,065
Is that a Ken doll on a moped?
1367
01:20:16,108 --> 01:20:17,776
I know him from somewhere.
1368
01:20:17,860 --> 01:20:19,486
Oh, I-I-I doubt that.
1369
01:20:19,570 --> 01:20:24,867
Because what you are looking at
is a highly trained combat specialist,
1370
01:20:24,950 --> 01:20:28,495
forged in the furnaces
of Afghanistan, Iraq,
1371
01:20:28,579 --> 01:20:31,123
Kuwait, sa... sarasota...
1372
01:20:31,206 --> 01:20:33,375
Incredible skin. No eczema problems.
1373
01:20:33,459 --> 01:20:37,087
And he will not stop until I am safe!
1374
01:20:37,171 --> 01:20:39,465
So you pull this space tank over,
1375
01:20:39,548 --> 01:20:42,676
unless you would like to perish
like his friends did.
1376
01:20:42,760 --> 01:20:46,221
And he is responsible
for their perishment.
1377
01:20:46,305 --> 01:20:48,932
He might not have meant to,
1378
01:20:49,016 --> 01:20:52,102
but they... perished, so...
1379
01:21:07,284 --> 01:21:10,371
Okay, who is this?
I have seen him somewhere before.
1380
01:21:12,956 --> 01:21:16,043
No, no, no.
That's your cover model, isn't it?
1381
01:21:16,126 --> 01:21:18,253
Yes. I knew I knew him from somewhere.
1382
01:21:19,380 --> 01:21:20,506
Get up there.
1383
01:21:20,589 --> 01:21:22,091
And kill him creatively.
1384
01:21:22,174 --> 01:21:24,134
I love watching hunks fail.
1385
01:21:26,220 --> 01:21:28,555
I guess I... I will have that drink.
1386
01:21:30,432 --> 01:21:31,809
Oh, shit.
1387
01:21:32,434 --> 01:21:34,478
Is it okay if I just top 'er off?
1388
01:21:34,561 --> 01:21:37,606
Yeah, that's fine, but...
Oh, my god, have you used a glass before?
1389
01:21:37,689 --> 01:21:39,191
Sorry.
1390
01:21:39,274 --> 01:21:40,634
What would Jack trainer do?
1391
01:21:42,861 --> 01:21:47,157
It's hot in here.
Anyone else feeling how hot it is?
1392
01:21:47,241 --> 01:21:50,244
Are you trying to be sexy?
This is very weird. Please, stop.
1393
01:21:50,327 --> 01:21:51,912
I could set your world on fire.
1394
01:22:02,923 --> 01:22:04,925
Go to sleep! Go to sleep!
1395
01:22:05,008 --> 01:22:06,802
Go to sleep! Sleep!
1396
01:22:09,304 --> 01:22:11,181
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
1397
01:22:11,265 --> 01:22:12,391
Time-out.
1398
01:22:12,474 --> 01:22:13,474
Time-in!
1399
01:22:19,440 --> 01:22:21,942
No! Don't shoot her! I need her!
1400
01:22:24,027 --> 01:22:25,654
Oh, Jesus!
1401
01:22:25,737 --> 01:22:26,989
Ow, ow, ow.
1402
01:22:31,160 --> 01:22:33,454
Move your foot! Move your foot!
1403
01:22:36,457 --> 01:22:38,834
Go to sleep, asshole.
1404
01:22:38,917 --> 01:22:40,544
Get out there! Look!
1405
01:22:45,299 --> 01:22:46,467
A bigger guy?
1406
01:22:46,550 --> 01:22:47,801
Oh, no.
1407
01:22:49,386 --> 01:22:50,386
What?
1408
01:22:52,931 --> 01:22:53,931
Move it!
1409
01:22:55,726 --> 01:22:57,769
No, no, no. No, no, no.
1410
01:22:58,645 --> 01:23:00,564
Hey! Get in.
1411
01:23:01,106 --> 01:23:02,106
Him or me?
1412
01:23:06,653 --> 01:23:11,283
This is not one of your cheap,
vapid lady-fantasy books, Loretta.
1413
01:23:11,366 --> 01:23:13,035
This is real life.
1414
01:23:14,244 --> 01:23:16,121
And we will kill him.
1415
01:23:16,205 --> 01:23:17,831
Tell us where the tomb is.
1416
01:23:32,679 --> 01:23:36,517
Hi. So, whoever's in charge,
I need you to send officials to go here.
1417
01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:37,726
Here.
1418
01:23:38,936 --> 01:23:40,729
We are closed.
1419
01:23:40,812 --> 01:23:42,022
You're closed?
1420
01:23:44,441 --> 01:23:47,402
You know I've been trying to take a nap
for a year and a half?
1421
01:23:47,486 --> 01:23:48,904
A year and a half.
1422
01:23:50,030 --> 01:23:53,033
I have been burning the candle
at both ends,
1423
01:23:53,116 --> 01:23:54,576
the midnight oil,
1424
01:23:54,660 --> 01:23:57,579
since way before my friend got kidnapped.
1425
01:23:57,663 --> 01:23:59,206
And all I want to do
1426
01:23:59,915 --> 01:24:01,542
is kick my feet back
1427
01:24:02,251 --> 01:24:05,462
and drink some wine
that I'm probably too tired to drink.
1428
01:24:06,088 --> 01:24:08,215
And I want a massage.
1429
01:24:08,298 --> 01:24:12,928
I want someone to massage
my shoulders and my feet,
1430
01:24:13,011 --> 01:24:15,097
and I want it at the same time.
1431
01:24:15,180 --> 01:24:18,892
And I don't care if logistically
that doesn't make sense.
1432
01:24:18,976 --> 01:24:21,270
Because I have worked hard.
1433
01:24:22,271 --> 01:24:24,690
The same way that I know that you have.
1434
01:24:25,816 --> 01:24:28,110
So I hate to ask you
1435
01:24:28,193 --> 01:24:30,487
to leave this place open
a few more minutes,
1436
01:24:30,571 --> 01:24:32,489
because if we don't,
1437
01:24:32,573 --> 01:24:36,118
a very close friend of mine
and her cover model
1438
01:24:36,201 --> 01:24:37,869
are going to die.
1439
01:25:00,976 --> 01:25:02,394
No good way in, boss!
1440
01:25:02,978 --> 01:25:04,479
What about the caves?
1441
01:25:05,314 --> 01:25:06,898
That's too dangerous!
1442
01:25:06,982 --> 01:25:09,651
Well, we'll be very careful then.
1443
01:25:23,415 --> 01:25:24,541
Well, come on!
1444
01:25:29,379 --> 01:25:30,380
This way.
1445
01:25:30,464 --> 01:25:32,859
I have a rule about not going
into super creepy caves.
1446
01:25:44,394 --> 01:25:47,356
- Julian?
- His name is Julian?
1447
01:25:47,439 --> 01:25:50,150
He seems more like a buck or a Bruce.
1448
01:25:50,233 --> 01:25:51,568
Lead the way.
1449
01:25:55,447 --> 01:25:57,574
Go on. Don't be scared.
1450
01:26:25,644 --> 01:26:29,314
Watch your step there.
1451
01:26:29,398 --> 01:26:30,750
Bruce!
1452
01:26:30,774 --> 01:26:31,876
- Julian. Oh, no!
- Julian!
1453
01:26:31,900 --> 01:26:33,610
-[Gasps} -Whoa.
1454
01:26:33,694 --> 01:26:35,612
Oh.
1455
01:26:35,696 --> 01:26:37,114
Well...
1456
01:26:37,989 --> 01:26:39,866
Let's not have his death be in vain.
1457
01:26:40,617 --> 01:26:42,703
- Onward and upward.
- What do you mean onward?
1458
01:26:42,786 --> 01:26:45,163
We're not gonna go and get him now,
are we?
1459
01:26:45,247 --> 01:26:46,456
Oh, man.
1460
01:26:59,177 --> 01:27:00,804
- It's nothing.
- Okay.
1461
01:27:01,430 --> 01:27:05,517
Yeah, let's just go back to the boat.
This is over. Nobody else has to die.
1462
01:27:05,600 --> 01:27:07,853
No, no, no. It's a breeze.
1463
01:27:07,936 --> 01:27:10,522
There's a tunnel.
This could lead to the tomb.
1464
01:27:10,605 --> 01:27:12,485
- That's not person-sized.
- Speak for yourself.
1465
01:27:12,566 --> 01:27:14,693
Come on. It's practically a kiddie slide.
1466
01:27:14,776 --> 01:27:17,237
- More like a rock sphincter.
- Or a troll anus.
1467
01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:21,032
Well, you are going through the anus...
The hole... the tunnel!
1468
01:27:21,116 --> 01:27:23,243
- Why her?
- You are our canary in the coal mine.
1469
01:27:23,326 --> 01:27:24,703
No, that's impossible. I can't.
1470
01:27:24,786 --> 01:27:26,371
Please let us know if you get through.
1471
01:27:26,455 --> 01:27:28,665
If we don't hear from you,
fabio's got to die.
1472
01:27:28,749 --> 01:27:30,751
Wait, I'm the damsel in distress?
1473
01:27:31,418 --> 01:27:32,919
It's okay. I'm fine.
1474
01:28:08,789 --> 01:28:11,249
I can't. I'm so sorry. I can't.
1475
01:28:11,333 --> 01:28:12,959
- Hey.
- What?
1476
01:28:13,877 --> 01:28:15,086
You smell that?
1477
01:28:15,921 --> 01:28:18,924
You mean centuries worth of bat feces?
Yes, I definitely smell that.
1478
01:28:19,007 --> 01:28:21,009
You gotta take a big breath for me.
1479
01:28:26,181 --> 01:28:27,682
There you go.
1480
01:28:27,766 --> 01:28:29,351
You can do it, Loretta.
1481
01:28:42,572 --> 01:28:45,325
I think I see a way out.
1482
01:28:48,954 --> 01:28:50,956
Oh, cheese and rice!
1483
01:28:55,752 --> 01:28:57,003
I made it!
1484
01:28:57,587 --> 01:28:58,713
I made it!
1485
01:28:58,797 --> 01:29:01,174
See? Totally safe.
1486
01:29:02,092 --> 01:29:03,260
Go on. Your turn.
1487
01:29:05,136 --> 01:29:07,556
I'm coming through!
Be right there, okay?
1488
01:30:12,287 --> 01:30:14,205
Why would they build this here?
1489
01:30:15,582 --> 01:30:19,085
But how is anyone supposed to worship
or remember you if they can't even see it?
1490
01:30:19,169 --> 01:30:20,211
They aren't.
1491
01:30:21,087 --> 01:30:23,757
This isn't a monument to kalaman's power.
1492
01:30:25,175 --> 01:30:27,677
It's a hiding place for a grieving woman.
1493
01:30:28,511 --> 01:30:31,097
Taha came here
to be with her fallen lover.
1494
01:30:32,933 --> 01:30:35,977
She just wanted to be alone.
1495
01:30:36,061 --> 01:30:37,562
Taha doesn't want us here.
1496
01:30:37,646 --> 01:30:39,105
God, shut up, rafi.
1497
01:30:39,189 --> 01:30:40,732
It's just the volcano.
1498
01:30:42,609 --> 01:30:43,693
Come on.
1499
01:30:49,282 --> 01:30:50,450
We have to keep going.
1500
01:30:59,042 --> 01:31:00,602
All right. Let's go, muscles.
1501
01:31:01,336 --> 01:31:03,254
Open it up.
1502
01:31:03,338 --> 01:31:05,799
- Don't disturb them.
- She will be wearing the headdress.
1503
01:31:05,882 --> 01:31:08,385
Come on. We didn't come all this way
just to pay our respects.
1504
01:31:08,468 --> 01:31:09,594
I can't...
1505
01:31:12,973 --> 01:31:14,975
- Uh...
- I'm sorry, abue/a.
1506
01:31:36,746 --> 01:31:37,956
What is that?
1507
01:31:39,874 --> 01:31:42,168
Are those... seashells?
1508
01:31:42,919 --> 01:31:45,964
The crown is made of seashells?
1509
01:31:46,047 --> 01:31:47,465
Where's the treasure?
1510
01:31:48,466 --> 01:31:49,759
She's holding him.
1511
01:31:52,804 --> 01:31:54,472
You mean the dead guy?
1512
01:32:01,062 --> 01:32:02,063
Look.
1513
01:32:04,315 --> 01:32:06,026
It's their courtship.
1514
01:32:06,735 --> 01:32:09,696
Kalaman is searching the island
for something.
1515
01:32:12,824 --> 01:32:14,576
Rare red seashells.
1516
01:32:15,243 --> 01:32:19,456
To prove his love,
he gave her one shell every day for a year
1517
01:32:19,539 --> 01:32:21,291
and made them into a crown,
1518
01:32:21,374 --> 01:32:24,127
bright red like the flame of their love,
1519
01:32:24,210 --> 01:32:27,505
until the day came
where she accepted his proposal.
1520
01:32:27,589 --> 01:32:29,591
It was never about jewels.
1521
01:32:29,674 --> 01:32:33,094
Kalaman and taha's riches
weren't material.
1522
01:32:35,263 --> 01:32:37,223
It was their love.
1523
01:32:37,307 --> 01:32:39,517
That's what it meant. That was enough.
1524
01:32:39,601 --> 01:32:40,602
So that's it?
1525
01:32:41,561 --> 01:32:44,647
All of that time and money
1526
01:32:45,565 --> 01:32:49,235
spent on, what, just a cheap metaphor?
1527
01:32:49,819 --> 01:32:52,113
- It's a pretty rich metaphor.
- Oh, shut up!
1528
01:32:52,197 --> 01:32:54,240
We got to go. We got to go now.
1529
01:32:54,324 --> 01:32:57,535
- Come on. Let's go.
- No, no, no. You are staying here.
1530
01:32:57,619 --> 01:32:59,746
You think it's all so sweet and poetic.
1531
01:32:59,829 --> 01:33:02,248
Well, then you can stay here
and spend your last moments
1532
01:33:02,332 --> 01:33:04,959
pondering the richness of that metaphor.
1533
01:33:05,752 --> 01:33:07,587
- Get in.
- What? Come on, man.
1534
01:33:08,338 --> 01:33:10,924
- Oh, god. Just get in. Get in the tomb.
- Okay, okay.
1535
01:33:11,007 --> 01:33:13,593
It's better to be buried alive
than buried dead, I guess.
1536
01:33:13,676 --> 01:33:16,888
- It's really not.
- You know, it is a shame, really.
1537
01:33:16,971 --> 01:33:18,640
This is a hell of a story.
1538
01:33:19,224 --> 01:33:21,392
Pity you won't be around to tell it.
Come on.
1539
01:33:21,476 --> 01:33:22,352
But they'll die.
1540
01:33:22,435 --> 01:33:24,562
So will you if you don't stop
being such a snowflake!
1541
01:33:24,646 --> 01:33:25,646
Get over here!
1542
01:33:35,281 --> 01:33:36,116
This is fine.
1543
01:33:36,199 --> 01:33:38,799
This is not an active nightmare I've had
since I was 14 years old.
1544
01:33:40,745 --> 01:33:42,372
Ow!
1545
01:33:42,956 --> 01:33:45,834
Why are you going so fast?
It's not a race.
1546
01:33:51,131 --> 01:33:53,591
Wait, no! What are you doing?
Come back here!
1547
01:33:53,675 --> 01:33:57,971
You may have bought the island,
but now the island owns you!
1548
01:33:59,013 --> 01:34:00,390
You can't just leave me here!
1549
01:34:02,433 --> 01:34:04,644
Rafi! Come back!
1550
01:34:07,230 --> 01:34:08,398
I need a boat!
1551
01:34:17,949 --> 01:34:19,826
Hey, hey, stop! Stop!
1552
01:34:22,120 --> 01:34:23,955
Help! Help!
1553
01:34:24,038 --> 01:34:26,249
One of the locals just stole my boat!
1554
01:34:26,332 --> 01:34:31,337
Have you seen a woman?
She's a brunette in a sequined jumpsuit.
1555
01:34:31,421 --> 01:34:34,674
No. Is she in some sort of trouble?
1556
01:34:47,020 --> 01:34:48,646
It's kind of funny.
1557
01:34:50,190 --> 01:34:52,025
I used to think this...
1558
01:34:52,108 --> 01:34:54,235
This sort of thing was so romantic.
1559
01:34:54,319 --> 01:34:55,361
Yeah?
1560
01:34:55,862 --> 01:34:58,948
Being locked in a coffin
about to be buried by lava,
1561
01:34:59,032 --> 01:35:01,409
or... cuddling dead people?
1562
01:35:02,410 --> 01:35:04,829
Just laying down with a lost love.
1563
01:35:05,371 --> 01:35:06,873
Like taha did.
1564
01:35:09,334 --> 01:35:10,335
God.
1565
01:35:11,085 --> 01:35:12,337
Oh, god.
1566
01:35:12,420 --> 01:35:13,630
I'm sorry.
1567
01:35:15,048 --> 01:35:17,425
I'm sorry that I couldn't save you.
1568
01:35:17,508 --> 01:35:19,260
I'm sorry I couldn't be dash.
1569
01:35:19,886 --> 01:35:21,012
You're right.
1570
01:35:22,347 --> 01:35:24,098
You're nothing like dash.
1571
01:35:24,182 --> 01:35:27,268
You didn't ride in on a white horse
to save me.
1572
01:35:27,769 --> 01:35:32,398
You rode in on a... borrowed scooter
with a broken muffler.
1573
01:35:33,858 --> 01:35:35,401
Yeah.
1574
01:35:35,902 --> 01:35:38,071
I never could've written a dash like you.
1575
01:35:40,240 --> 01:35:41,866
'Cause I never knew
1576
01:35:42,784 --> 01:35:44,160
a dash like Alan.
1577
01:35:44,869 --> 01:35:47,247
I was so afraid
of being hurt by life again
1578
01:35:47,330 --> 01:35:48,831
that I just stopped living.
1579
01:35:48,915 --> 01:35:50,959
Couldn't see the good things
in front of me.
1580
01:35:51,584 --> 01:35:54,212
I'm just so sorry I didn't see you sooner.
1581
01:35:55,421 --> 01:35:57,006
I have a confession too.
1582
01:35:57,090 --> 01:36:01,261
See, I was really liking where
this new story of ours was headed.
1583
01:36:01,886 --> 01:36:04,722
I just wanted to see how
it was gonna turn out, I guess.
1584
01:36:05,640 --> 01:36:07,934
The adventures of I oretta and Alan.
1585
01:36:10,353 --> 01:36:12,313
No, it would need
a better title than that.
1586
01:36:12,397 --> 01:36:14,148
Yeah, definitely. Definitely.
1587
01:36:15,525 --> 01:36:18,987
Sorry. Just... taha's femur is poking me.
1588
01:36:22,907 --> 01:36:24,742
Rafi must have left that.
1589
01:36:24,826 --> 01:36:27,453
How do you forget your crowbar?
It's gonna help us escape.
1590
01:36:27,537 --> 01:36:29,122
No, he left it on purpose.
1591
01:36:29,205 --> 01:36:30,873
Oh, cool. I always liked him.
1592
01:36:30,957 --> 01:36:32,500
- One...
- Okay.
1593
01:36:32,583 --> 01:36:33,876
- Two, three!
- Okay.
1594
01:36:35,128 --> 01:36:38,172
I would've preferred him to not
leave us here in the first place, but...
1595
01:36:39,048 --> 01:36:40,048
Okay.
1596
01:37:00,820 --> 01:37:02,822
Dulcius ex asperis.
1597
01:37:07,618 --> 01:37:09,120
Sweeter after difficulty.
1598
01:37:15,960 --> 01:37:17,253
Go up! Run for the trees!
1599
01:37:18,755 --> 01:37:21,382
Wait. Nope. Never mind. Trees are on fire.
1600
01:37:21,966 --> 01:37:23,551
Okay.
1601
01:37:25,303 --> 01:37:26,846
We can go back through the tunnel.
1602
01:37:28,097 --> 01:37:29,182
Nope. Tunnel's a no-go.
1603
01:37:34,604 --> 01:37:36,606
Um, okay. I'm open to other ideas.
1604
01:37:37,190 --> 01:37:40,151
There's a current.
We can follow it into the ocean.
1605
01:37:40,234 --> 01:37:41,834
How do we know what's on the other side?
1606
01:37:42,362 --> 01:37:43,362
We don't.
1607
01:37:45,323 --> 01:37:47,241
There's only one way to find out.
1608
01:37:48,910 --> 01:37:50,495
- Worth the rash.
- Yeah?
1609
01:38:11,432 --> 01:38:12,433
Alan?
1610
01:38:21,025 --> 01:38:22,026
Alan!
1611
01:38:59,605 --> 01:39:00,606
Alan?
1612
01:39:01,274 --> 01:39:03,734
A... Alan?
1613
01:39:04,610 --> 01:39:05,611
Alan!
1614
01:39:08,948 --> 01:39:10,908
Oh, my god! You're alive!
1615
01:39:10,992 --> 01:39:13,119
- I'm alive.
- Oh, my god. I thought I killed you.
1616
01:39:16,038 --> 01:39:17,039
Is that Beth?
1617
01:39:17,123 --> 01:39:18,124
Loretta!
1618
01:39:18,958 --> 01:39:20,209
Beth!
1619
01:39:20,293 --> 01:39:21,533
- Beth!
- Beth!
1620
01:39:22,003 --> 01:39:23,004
Beth!
1621
01:39:28,843 --> 01:39:30,052
Beth, you're here!
1622
01:39:30,887 --> 01:39:32,180
Why are you here?
1623
01:39:32,263 --> 01:39:35,057
I told you I got your back, girl!
1624
01:39:35,683 --> 01:39:37,602
I'm s 0 so rry!
1625
01:39:37,685 --> 01:39:39,562
I destroyed the jumpsuit!
1626
01:39:40,146 --> 01:39:41,189
What?
1627
01:39:41,772 --> 01:39:43,941
Never mind! Later.
1628
01:39:44,025 --> 01:39:46,068
I found a British guy in a cave.
1629
01:39:46,152 --> 01:39:48,571
I thought he was a little boy,
but he has a full beard.
1630
01:39:48,654 --> 01:39:52,033
Beth, that's Fairfax! He kidnapped us!
1631
01:39:52,116 --> 01:39:54,619
He's a bad guy, Beth!
He killed my trainer!
1632
01:39:54,702 --> 01:39:55,703
Get him!
1633
01:39:56,287 --> 01:39:57,288
Stop him!
1634
01:40:05,546 --> 01:40:07,381
I got your back, girl.
1635
01:40:09,800 --> 01:40:11,844
Where were you running? It's a boat.
1636
01:40:11,928 --> 01:40:13,387
This guy's hilarious.
1637
01:40:13,471 --> 01:40:14,722
Got you.
1638
01:40:15,223 --> 01:40:16,390
Swim over to the rock!
1639
01:40:16,474 --> 01:40:18,851
- I don't got you. No, I got you.
- I got you.
1640
01:40:18,935 --> 01:40:20,853
We're gonna get you. It's gonna be okay.
1641
01:40:20,937 --> 01:40:23,481
'7-'inding refuge on a nearby rock,
1642
01:40:23,564 --> 01:40:25,733
he lifted her from the water,
1643
01:40:25,816 --> 01:40:28,819
his powerful arms pulling her body close.
1644
01:40:28,903 --> 01:40:30,154
Alan whispered... ”
1645
01:40:30,238 --> 01:40:32,657
Shh. You're safe now.
1646
01:40:35,368 --> 01:40:39,747
”/n that moment, Loretta could
feel a new adventure was just beginning. ”
1647
01:40:41,249 --> 01:40:44,001
"The heart-pounding passion
of the narrow escape
1648
01:40:44,085 --> 01:40:47,004
only inflamed Loretta's desire for him.
1649
01:40:47,088 --> 01:40:51,425
She was thirsty for the hot lava
soon to be pulsing from his..."
1650
01:40:51,509 --> 01:40:54,762
Don't you go stopping
right at the good part.
1651
01:40:55,972 --> 01:40:57,974
It's nothing she hasn't read before.
1652
01:40:58,057 --> 01:40:59,559
Didn't I tell you?
1653
01:40:59,642 --> 01:41:02,645
The most beautiful beach in the world.
1654
01:41:02,728 --> 01:41:05,940
Maybe later, I'll show you
the cove of enchantment?
1655
01:41:06,023 --> 01:41:07,900
No, you can take Randy.
1656
01:41:07,984 --> 01:41:11,529
Remember, you are my platonic man friend.
1657
01:41:11,612 --> 01:41:14,115
Platonic? I like the sound of that.
1658
01:41:14,782 --> 01:41:17,451
Not sure what it means,
but I like the sound of it.
1659
01:41:17,535 --> 01:41:19,745
Here you go, Randy.
1660
01:41:21,455 --> 01:41:23,666
- My dear.
- You are an angel. Thank you.
1661
01:41:24,375 --> 01:41:25,710
How did you know?
1662
01:41:37,847 --> 01:41:40,308
- Nice way to end a book tour, right?
- Mm-hmm.
1663
01:41:41,225 --> 01:41:42,852
Um...
1664
01:41:42,935 --> 01:41:47,523
You know, I have a phrase I like to use
in moments like these, actually.
1665
01:41:50,109 --> 01:41:51,360
Ouid deinde?
1666
01:41:52,778 --> 01:41:55,656
It's Latin. It means, "what's next?"
1667
01:41:57,783 --> 01:41:59,243
Ouid cogitas?
1668
01:41:59,327 --> 01:42:00,661
Mmm.
1669
01:42:01,454 --> 01:42:02,705
Buca di beppo.
1670
01:42:06,167 --> 01:42:07,877
- Yeah. I know zero other Latin.
- No. Yes.
1671
01:42:08,544 --> 01:42:10,546
I looked it up for this moment right now.
1672
01:42:11,756 --> 01:42:13,799
So, what does come next?
1673
01:42:13,883 --> 01:42:15,926
- How would you write this?
- I don't know.
1674
01:42:16,594 --> 01:42:19,138
- How would you write it?
- Do we really want me to write this?
1675
01:42:19,221 --> 01:42:21,474
- Just try. Take a stab at it.
- Okay. I'll write it.
1676
01:42:21,557 --> 01:42:22,808
Okay.
1677
01:42:22,892 --> 01:42:26,145
"We were...
They were... standing on a beach."
1678
01:42:26,228 --> 01:42:28,248
Sets the stage for the audience.
They know where we are.
1679
01:42:28,272 --> 01:42:30,125
You're already laughing.
Why are you laughing at me?
1680
01:42:30,149 --> 01:42:31,942
- I'm not laughing. I'm smiling.
- You are.
1681
01:42:32,026 --> 01:42:35,821
"There are palm trees above a brown
1682
01:42:36,822 --> 01:42:39,450
bark-like hair of the maiden.
1683
01:42:39,533 --> 01:42:40,719
There is a dead jellyfish..."
1684
01:42:40,743 --> 01:42:43,496
All you're doing is describing
what you're actually seeing right now.
1685
01:42:44,121 --> 01:42:46,707
"He's nervous
because he really likes her."
1686
01:42:47,792 --> 01:42:49,210
It's nice writing.
1687
01:42:50,002 --> 01:42:51,212
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
1688
01:42:51,295 --> 01:42:52,463
I'll keep going.
1689
01:42:52,546 --> 01:42:54,215
"He looked deep in her eyes.
1690
01:42:54,298 --> 01:42:57,385
The only thing that could compare
to the pulse of that ocean
1691
01:42:58,302 --> 01:42:59,470
was the throbbing in the..."
1692
01:42:59,553 --> 01:43:02,765
- Okay, no, you can't throb.
- Why not?
1693
01:43:02,848 --> 01:43:04,767
Can't come out of the gate with a throb.
1694
01:43:04,850 --> 01:43:07,079
- You throb all the time.
- I don't come out of the gate with it.
1695
01:43:07,103 --> 01:43:09,414
- You have to earn the throb.
- Who made you the queen of throb?
1696
01:43:09,438 --> 01:43:12,775
It's usually a chapter four thing. You
want it brought up appropriately in four.
1697
01:43:12,858 --> 01:43:15,069
I think you throb in all the chapters.
"Pulsating."
1698
01:43:15,152 --> 01:43:17,029
It's a precursor to throb.
1699
01:43:17,113 --> 01:43:19,365
- "Undulating."
- you just jumped to five.
1700
01:43:19,949 --> 01:43:22,427
- How 'bout they just kiss? Why not?
- Just like a regular kiss?
1701
01:43:22,451 --> 01:43:24,131
Yeah.
Like a beginning-of-the-chapter kiss.
1702
01:43:24,161 --> 01:43:25,663
I'm good at starting...
1703
01:43:29,750 --> 01:43:31,085
How was that? Any notes?
1704
01:43:31,961 --> 01:43:35,297
Very good first chapter attempt.
1705
01:43:38,592 --> 01:43:40,886
.I' / can tell you got big, big energy j”
1706
01:43:40,970 --> 01:43:43,055
j” it ain't too many of 'em
that can handle me j”
1707
01:43:43,139 --> 01:43:45,099
j” but / might let you try it
oh' the henness y j”
1708
01:43:45,141 --> 01:43:47,518
j” make 'em sang to this thing
like a melody j”
1709
01:43:47,601 --> 01:43:49,979
j” and if your girl ain't rr'ght
I got the remedy j”
1710
01:43:50,062 --> 01:43:52,440
j” it ain't too many of 'em
that can handle me j”
1711
01:43:52,523 --> 01:43:55,067
j” bad chick
I could be your fantasy j”
1712
01:43:55,151 --> 01:43:56,485
j” tell me how you want itj”
1713
01:43:56,569 --> 01:43:58,028
j” three, two, one, and I'm on itj”
1714
01:43:58,112 --> 01:44:00,614
j” feel good, don'tit?
Hood chick, you in a bonnet j”
1715
01:44:00,698 --> 01:44:02,700
j” I'ma bust it on a pole like onyx j”
1716
01:44:02,783 --> 01:44:05,828
j” / 'm just being honest
juicy, minute maid j”
1717
01:44:05,911 --> 01:44:07,580
j” but can't do it one minute, man j”
1718
01:44:07,663 --> 01:44:10,291
j” not a side or a main
I'm the only one he entertain j”
1719
01:44:10,374 --> 01:44:12,293
j” spending his
mine in the bank j”
1720
01:44:12,376 --> 01:44:16,172
j” / like what / see
a boss like you need a boss like me j”
1721
01:44:16,255 --> 01:44:18,257
j” daddy from the street
so he move low keyj”
1722
01:44:18,340 --> 01:44:20,718
j” tiyna ride that mic like karaoke j”
1723
01:44:20,801 --> 01:44:23,220
j” on the count of three
bad, get money j”
1724
01:44:23,304 --> 01:44:25,473
.i” broke to the left
we don't want it j”
1725
01:44:25,556 --> 01:44:27,868
j” I'm the one they love to hate
but they can't get past j”
1726
01:44:27,892 --> 01:44:30,895
j” pretty face, no waist
and a big old back j”
1727
01:44:30,978 --> 01:44:32,813
j” bad chick
I could be your fantasy j”
1728
01:44:32,897 --> 01:44:35,232
j” / can tell you got big, big energy j”
1729
01:44:35,316 --> 01:44:37,485
j” it ain't too many of 'em
that can handle me j”
1730
01:44:37,568 --> 01:44:39,570
j” but / might let you try it
oh' the henness y j”
1731
01:44:39,653 --> 01:44:41,906
j” make 'em sing to this thing
like a melody j”
1732
01:44:41,989 --> 01:44:44,241
j” and if your girl ain't right
I got the remedy j”
1733
01:44:44,325 --> 01:44:46,535
j” it ain't too many of 'em
that can handle me j”
1734
01:44:46,619 --> 01:44:48,954
j” bad chick
I could be your fantasy j”
1735
01:44:49,038 --> 01:44:52,541
j” got that real big energy... j”
1736
01:45:00,508 --> 01:45:01,634
Psst!
1737
01:45:02,676 --> 01:45:03,803
Psst.
1738
01:45:05,596 --> 01:45:06,639
Psst.
1739
01:45:08,140 --> 01:45:09,141
Mother...
1740
01:45:09,725 --> 01:45:11,101
You were dead.
1741
01:45:11,185 --> 01:45:14,104
Your brains came out of your face
and hit the back of my throat.
1742
01:45:14,688 --> 01:45:16,750
- He was in my mouth.
- Don't say he was in your mouth.
1743
01:45:16,774 --> 01:45:18,376
- I could taste you.
- Don't ever say that.
1744
01:45:18,400 --> 01:45:23,030
We only use 10% of our brain,
so I just switched to another 10%.
1745
01:45:23,781 --> 01:45:26,617
So... so, you're okay?
1746
01:45:26,700 --> 01:45:28,410
One hundred percent.
1747
01:45:28,494 --> 01:45:30,120
Meaning 10%.
1748
01:45:30,704 --> 01:45:31,914
We thought you were dead.
1749
01:45:31,997 --> 01:45:34,708
Naturally, I have some anger issues
I need to let go of.
1750
01:45:34,792 --> 01:45:37,002
- Oh, of course.
- And resentment.
1751
01:45:37,086 --> 01:45:39,046
Oh.
1752
01:45:39,129 --> 01:45:40,506
So good to see you, man.
1753
01:45:40,589 --> 01:45:42,800
Okay, let's keep the chatter down.
1754
01:45:42,883 --> 01:45:46,887
We're closing our eyes
and reconnecting to our breath.
1755
01:45:47,972 --> 01:45:49,098
Great.
1756
01:45:49,890 --> 01:45:50,891
Great.