Just walk.
(COMPOSED MUSIC)
NARRATOR: 18 celebrity recruits...
..volunteered to give up their privileged lives.
Everybody strip.
To take on the infamous SAS selection course.
Go!
This is not a game!
They took on the most dangerous and life-threatening missions
in order to push themselves physically...
Suck it up number two.
..and mentally.
Aww, this hurts!
(INAUDIBLE).
Move! Ahhh!
They were forced to confront their inner demons.
Just take your (BLEEP) chin. I told you.
And come face to face with their true selves.
I love you with all my heart and soul.
(MUMBLES).
And in the end... Number 16.
..there was only one.
You have successfully passed this course.
Yes, staff. Well done.
Now all celebrity recruits...
Yay, we're home!
..are returning to base camp for the final time.
I'm actually glad to be here.
Yeah, yeah. We're not running,
we're not like having Bergens on, no one is yelling at us.
This is beautiful.
As they debrief and share their life changing experiences...
..on SAS Selection.
Alright guys, welcome to the debrief.
On this course, you know how important a debrief is.
After every task we debrief to improve in the future.
So, what you've learned about yourselves, about each other.
What you've taken home with you, what you're going to do different.
And this is an open and honest conversation.
So, at the end of selection, there were four people.
Number four, Jana,
number 11, Mark,
number 16, Sam,
and then John, number 14.
Now these guys managed to get all the way to the last day.
So Jana over to you, how did you find the course?
It was extraordinary. Yeah.
You know I learned a lot,
I, I didn't have the last the last 1% as you know,
we talked about that on the final day,
particularly as it got tougher and tougher and tougher
towards the end, physically and mentally,
but I can hands down say it's one of the greatest experiences of my life.
Oh, really? Yeah.
Mark.
I came in here knowing that it's probably going to be
the hardest thing I've ever done
and without a doubt it was the hardest thing I've ever done,
but I actually learned more about myself
which I didn't think I would.
I gained confidence and I then mentally got stronger as well
and peeling back those...
Like, so many things that I peeled back every single day.
There's no more onion left brother.
Hey, listen I'm going to talk as long as I want! Alright?
(BLEEP) hell, it's took to this day to find the real you.
(LAUGHTER)
Yeah, anyways it was amazing,
thank you very much for the opportunity, yes.
Come on then John, how about you?
I'll share the similar sentiments, I'm not going to go on.
Yeah, made some really good friends and learned a lot about myself.
You think you stop learning when you get to a certain age
but yeah, a whole new uh,
like you said those (BLEEP) layers, those onions.
Oh my days.
Oh, that's OK for you to say that, but if I (BLEEP) say that...
(LAUGHTER) ..jeez.
I'm saying you had no onion left, brother.
You know what I mean, you pulled your onions apart.
(LAUGHTER)
No it was brilliant and I appreciate the opportunity.
How about you Sam?
You obviously uh passed the course, the only one to pass the course.
Yeah. Yee-hooo!
Thank you.
No it was just a wonderful experience.
I actually really enjoyed the course as, as silly as that sounds
um, the process has been magnificent and I'll take so many things from it
and I learned some great lessons you guys have...
Speak a lot of wisdom each day.
I always like the idea of being a sponge,
sit and soak up what I like and what I don't like I'll leave behind.
But I, I picked up more than I left behind on this course,
it's been uh, it's been a great experience so thank you very much.
Yeah, Sam!
Good man!
He actually said in the car when we left,
he actually said to me, he was like,
"Oh, I actually thought it was going to be a little harder than that."
(LAUGHS)
Hey, John leave the jokes to us yeah?
Let's move on to day one.
First task. The gassing.
Oh!
Tell us about the gassing.
Um. (BLEEP)
Did I pass out?
I still haven't worked out if I passed out.
Thought you were trying to lick my boots,
I don't know what you were doing.
Look at me, hey, it's a bit rude not to look at someone.
(GAGGING)
What's, what's your name?
(CHOKING) Emma!
Look at me, what's your name?
Alicia! Alicia.
Dan Ewing.
What? I can't breathe, I can't breathe!
Help me, help me, please help me. Calm down, calm down, calm down.
To me, to me, do not touch your face.
Was you expecting that? ALL: No. No way!
Mark, you came out of that gas chamber
like you've been brought up on the stuff.
(INAUDIBLE).
Put it on your left arm. OK, what's your name?
Mark. Mark what?
Philippoussis. Philippoussis.
And what do you do Mark? I'm a professional tennis player.
Professional tennis player, OK, are you still playing tennis?
Retired.
I actually said that to a couple of the guys,
I'd rather do the gas a couple more times than do this.
It was hard, don't get me wrong
but some of the, I preferred it than some of the tasks.
It's horrendous.
We do a lot of it and all the stuff we do,
all operations, pre-deployment of operations
is in a gas type environment... (SAM COUGHS)
..cause that's the worst thing we can go up against
and if you can fight and work in that, you can do alright.
So, that as a start was brutal.
To me, to me.
You didn't like it Manu, did you?
Well for me that was the beginning of the end.
I need to talk about shit right now.
I am forever pissed off because I left early
and I went home struggling.
I know I've made the right decision on the day.
Yeah.
But I've been pissed off since that I didn't stay longer.
When I saw that car dangling from the crane,
I went, "I'm out."
(COMPOSED MUSIC)
You haven't even tried it number six, have you?
I know. You know?
Yep, I'm giving you my number, Staff.
You sure? Yep.
As soon as I said I'm going I wanted to come back straight away,
I had more in to me.
But I didn't give myself the, the chance to give myself more
and I'm, I, I'm forever pissed off.
I've got to be completely honest with you.
If you gave me another chance I'd come back to you guys.
I trained hard physically.
I've lost 15 kilos in two years
and I was ready physically to do anything
and I lost that completely.
It was the wrong decision.
You know what I want to do?
Is I, I think the four of you running a (BLEEP) restaurant for me
when you've never run one before.
Yeah.
Ultimately, in the moment, you can have a malfunction.
Yeah!
Well always grab that and say, think about what you're doing.
Stop, pause.
And we give everyone that chance.
Number 12 get here. Nah, I'm too scared.
So what. I am.
Listen, listen this is what you're going to do,
you're going to get in that vehicle first.
You're going to sit in there, feel it...
..and you might change your mind.
I'm taking off for the team, staff.
I'm a liability to the team and I know that, staff.
Think about what you're doing.
Number 15.
No it's done.
Everyone has a chance on this course.
I, I know I'm empty. That's it.
You're done? Yep.
(CRYING)
I've given my all, that's it.
Thank you.
We don't fault you on that because it's your time to decide.
Some of you exited the course early, Brynne, how did you find it?
I think I came in thinking that I would do a lot better than I did.
Get off your (BLEEP) knees!
The more you're on your knees, the more I'll keep you here.
I can't do it.
If you can't do it, get up and give me your (BLEEP) armband.
I'm done, I'm done, I'm done.
The rest of you, stay in the press up position.
I knew that physically I was not strong enough to do the stuff.
Mentally I'm quite strong.
And I mean, somebody can antagonise me and talk shit to me
and everything and that's not going to get to me.
But, physically I need to definitely step up my fitness game by so much
and maybe become a little more coordinated
'cause I stacked it twice just, I don't even know how.
Get up, get up!
OK. (PANTING)
Get up! Get the (BLEEP) up, stand up!
(LAUGHS)
So what did you learn on your short time
'cause obviously you were the first one to go.
Did you take anything from the course?
It's really hard.
(LAUGHS)
Like, I knew it would be hard but...
Alright listen, you walk through these gates,
that's the main thing, you know.
People can say what they want, think what they want
but to expose yourselves that takes guts and courage
so listen, well done for that. Thank you.
Erin. Yes.
You exited the course early. Yeah, I was next.
So, we were doing our beasting and I couldn't pick up Dan, you're heavy.
Sorry, mate, so sorry, mate. Dan's a fat bastard.
Dan's fault.
I can't!
Put a bit of effort in!
I'm trying, Staff.
If you can't do it, then you're not going to last tomorrow.
We will keep going
until number ten gets number (BLEEP) nine around this parade square.
Go up, go, good job, Ezy.
Oh, god! I got ya.
I'm sorry.
Ahhhh! Shut up 14.
Listening to everyone getting beasted
because of my lack of ability, um, I couldn't do it.
I can't do it to them.
You can't do that to them, can you? I can't.
Um, yeah, I was, oh, here we go, I knew I would be the first to cry!
Yeah, I was disappointed in the effort that I put in
and um, at the end of the day though this is a selection course
and I'm in amongst some of the most incredible athletes in the world.
You are.
And I am someone who is really hard on themselves
and a bit of an overachiever
and yeah, like I've, I've never done anything physically before.
Put me in a pair of heels or some sequins
and I'm much more comfortable than, than army boots
and um, it was really like a, a reality check I suppose
just about how incredibly tough it is what you do
and to see how well everyone else did was really amazing so.
You should come into this course physically fit you know?
On top of your game really.
Anyone that's come physically unprepared,
we'll thrash you until you drop and then (BLEEP) you off.
'Cause ultimately you know trying to constantly bring up the back end
and those that are dragging behind.
It's not fair on the front runners and the core group.
What that relates to is the battlefield.
You know if it's too much here
and you have that VW mind-set on the battlefield.
You're not going to make it off, it's as simple as that.
I'm one of those assholes who will judge a book by its cover.
Like couldn't deal with Koby.
Bad blood between recruits...
We had our disagreements.
..and Koby gives the DS a piece of his mind.
I didn't really judge people,
who like, my peers who are around me yeah.
But I judge you guys, yeah.
I thought you were kind of pricks.
Base camp for me is like going camping, I suppose.
There's like that hose thing for a shower.
Turn around.
There's no hot water.
Those are your toilets.
That's where you go for piss and shit.
Oh, the toilets were disgusting.
The hole in the side?
Yeah, a bit confronting.
This is ridiculous huh?
I had a poo with the poo.
Just don't want eye contact.
We both had a number two together
and I will cherish that for the rest of my life.
Alright guys, this is your debrief
about the course that you've just done.
This is about what you guys learned.
First impressions of each other.
Be honest with each other, when you looked around,
did you think (BLEEP) hell, what's that nob doing on the course?
I thought it was the Olympic village.
Lots of, loads of athletes.
When we did selection
I remember standing on a square of 280 odd people
and looked down the line and we all do it.
I've got no chance here.
Look at the size of him, look at the size of that.
You talk yourself out of it and by day two, three,
you look around and half of them are gone.
You, you grow with confidence then.
Did you feel any of that with your new group?
What did you feel Emma, what did you feel?
When I arrived with everybody?
Yeah, you're first impressions. Um.
Was it daunting to see the athletes and...
Oh, absolutely.
You know people, especially being a politician, right?
These guys have all got six packs, yeah.
I'm a pen pusher from Canberra.
Like, I know how to write policy.
I don't know how to run 5k's with a Bergen on my back.
Obviously like I'm probably physically the weakest...
'Cause you're...
..but I trained pretty hard and so I looked at everybody else
and I went right, this is not challenge of me against them,
it's a challenge of me against me.
I'd said you know, I'm here to prove to Australia
that I'm not what was written
and I quickly learned when the mirror was help up,
I didn't have anything to prove to anyone out there.
I had to prove it to me.
It was about learning to believe in myself again.
So, short and sweet ride
and I'll come back for season three.
Isabelle.
You're sitting all quiet there on the end.
What's your first impressions
when you, when you saw the, saw everyone and.
Um, yeah, just like there's so many athletes here
and so many strong people
but I felt like we all connected quite quickly,
where other people had weaknesses and other people had strengths,
we kind of started to get each other a little bit more.
What about the athletes?
Um, for me, I, I found it actually quite comforting
'cause I, there was a couple of familiar faces.
One of them being Jana,
I actually remember when I was ten years old
my mum was at the Olympics with Jana
and they actually made the Olympic final together
in the 4x4 100m relay.
That must of made you feel awesome.
You're not making Jana feel old and alright now Jess it's fine.
Sorry, no, but I actually remember I uh, I was ten years old
and Jana had this gold scooter.
Yeah.
And I was riding around this, the Olympic village
on Jana's scooter as a ten year, ten-year-old kid
and so for me having Jana here was really comforting.
Um, it made me feel pretty strong
and you know we shared some you know memories and conversations.
Gained strength from others right? We did. We did. Yeah for sure.
That's exactly what you should do.
Number 13, first impressions.
You know you're, you're the oldest on the course. Um.
Thanks for reminding me.
You've got a lot of wisdom, a lot of knowledge, Olympian.
A lot of pressure on you really.
Yeah, well when I saw everyone when we first met
and I looked around
and I'm like there is no one near my age, except Manu.
Hey, hey, hey. Grandma, grandpa.
And Billy. I'm (BLEEP) older than you.
Billy and I share the same birth year.
Um, but uh yeah, it was pretty intimidating,
very intimidating. Yeah.
I knew that was going to be one of the things that I came in with
which was going to be a weakness.
Come on grandma, move!
(BLEEP) hell, stopwatch has ran out of numbers.
Where's your Bergen number 13!
Why are you wet! Why are they carrying your Bergen!
Because I fell over.
Because you're a burden that's why.
Who's the weakest amongst the group?
Number 13, staff.
13, staff.
13, Staff.
It was a massive challenge but you know, I thought,
if I get this opportunity and I say no to it.
I'll always regret it
and I just didn't want to regret it as injured and as broken,
as old as I am or was, um...
Can I just say though none of us, well, I don't know about you guys,
but I never for a second thought, oh, Kez is the oldest
and she's going to be no good.
I was like she's an Olympian, she has a gold medal.
I remember watching you when... Yeah, but that was 20 years ago.
But, but it doesn't, but it doesn't matter.
Look at you, you look fit, you look amazing.
Oh, thanks. You were just as much a team player.
You out lasted me. Yeah, well.
She's a beast, look at her go.
Go!
Well done. Bloody hell, I want to be 55.
I think I pushed my joints right to the end.
Well, she's got you on crutches.
And you know what when I picked up the crutches from the pharmacy,
it says (BLEEP) number 13 on there!
Oh, did it? It is.
There you go. It's meant to be!
But you know what, I'll heal
and for me it was the most incredible experience.
You came into it with an open heart.
Amazing.
Dan, first impressions.
You came in and we identified straight away you know,
that you are quite um, out there, you know.
And you are, you're a spiritual person.
Yeah. Which is great.
Number nine.
Staff.
What's the name of your spaceship?
I don't have a spaceship, staff.
On this course, I knew what I was getting into.
I knew what I signed up for.
But until you're in there and the DS are yelling at you.
Stop! Stop!
You have no idea what's coming.
You were embarrassed that you were the only one
to reverse out of that contact.
No, staff I wasn't embarrassed.
Stop! I made a mistake.
(BLEEP) stop!
You've done really (BLEEP) annoying me now.
It was the hardest physical, mental, emotional
and maybe even spiritual challenge of my life.
But you know what? No hard feelings at all.
I think I'm a quite a positive person
and I think that's one of my best qualities.
I love it. Yep.
I'm going back a better version of myself.
Simple as that.
I had a ball, Staff. That's the honest answer.
Good.
Was it good to get back to area 51?
Staff, you know as well as I do.
I'm joking, yeah.
There was some big characters in here wasn't there?
Koby, you come from a different background you know,
did you come in here thinking
(BLEEP) hell, I'm not going to fit in?
Yeah, definitely. My wife was scared for me actually.
See there you go.
She said, "Mate, I don't know if you should do this."
Really? See.
Now I've got my own opinions of people yeah, and my own, own morals,
the way I see things and they're a lot different to other people.
So, I was kind of running that risk
but whatever I've done, I'm proud of, mate
so, and it was really hard-core
so I take my hat off to anyone that done it, after me and before me.
I had a sore back but I didn't want to do that shit, bro.
I've got a bad back, man, I'm out of here!
And who enjoyed Koby as duty recruit?
ALL: Aww.
I can't wait.
I'm now duty recruit. Oh, cool.
I'm the boss.
I'll get a pen and you guys write down what you need with your number.
I just want to see the doctor.
Yeah, well you're going to have to write that down then.
It's going to take so much more time Koby doing it this way.
Well, it's, it's your time not mine.
From now on if I'm serving hey... It's a good idea.
You don't go over and smash your food and come over and go.
Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, I've had two spuds!
You know? Yeah, I just need one.
Shits changed around here alright?
Jett, there's a bit of friction there number two.
To be honest I'm one of those assholes
who will judge a book by its cover.
Like, couldn't deal with Koby.
(BURPS)
That's pretty (BLEEP) gross to do while I'm eating bra.
Well, I couldn't hold it in. Then (BLEEP) walk away.
We had our disagreements
but it's not until you start to go day by day,
challenge by challenge that you understand more and more
about people
and Koby's life growing up was super hard,
I'm very fortunate with my family and everything else growing up
that I was kind of comfortable in a way, Koby never had that.
Or it's not until you open that book and you get in there
and you start to learn the finer detail of someone's life
and where they've, what's led them to get to that point
that you start to understand
and why they do things the way they do.
Obviously, we see his picture on the board,
really every bit about him, this bad boy image.
You know want to be a gangster
and actually we watched you, mate, and what a character.
Yeah, big time.
It's easy to listen to media, listen to bullshit
and the rest of it
but when gave us your story in there, I was like (BLEEP) hell.
Yeah. We didn't want you to go.
We never wanted you to go, because he's a morale booster.
Yeah, big time.
Yeah, I got here didn't I, mate Aye?
Just remember I'm coming to Bali.
I know where you live.
I don't really like judge people, like my peers,
who are around me, yeah?
I judge you guys, yeah.
Brave man. Here we go, cause we're judging you.
Now when I thought about this, I thought you were kind of pricks
and you're kind of like this and that
but then I listened to the words you guys were saying
and I just want to say no matter you guys go in life,
like keep helping people what you guys are doing,
you're not making TV shows,
you're like, helping people and you're good to talking to men,
you know, who need help.
There's a lot of hard men out there
but not all hard men can talk to weak men and stuff, you know?
Yeah, it's only because we've been there and you know
we, we've, we've done it that we can understand it
and that's why we get so emotionally connected with guys.
You know it's an emotional journey that we go on.
You know those weaknesses and strengths that we speak about,
well, we all have them.
You know, Koby, amazing to go to for a bit of morale,
you know, Sam for a bit of strength.
You've got knowledge and wisdom back there.
It's like you know, identify that straight away
and then use it to your advantage,
use it for the advantage of the group
and um, never judge a book by its cover.
When you join the military, it's almost you against us.
And that's the way it is.
When we went through training and you bond.
And when you walk away from here tonight,
most of you will stay in touch forever
'cause you've all been in the same boat.
You've all fought for a position, survival, whatever it is.
And I'll tell you now, that bond will never, never go away.
I hated watching everyone pummel everyone
You were squealing Kerri and getting belted.
A blow by blow account...
Something needs to overcome you to get in that mode
of wanting to pummel and kill someone.
..of the most brutal task.
To me it was just like, 'can you put it back in?
'Cause I just want to get back in and try and get him.
Right here is aggression of the highest form.
This is milling.
This isn't boxing.
No defending yourselves.
The only form of defence is attack.
The milling.
This was by far the most brutal milling that we've seen.
Pick an opponent number 15. 16.
Good choice.
Fight!
That was pretty hard for the majority of you
and also the reactions whilst you are watching
was something that we've never experienced before either.
That's it, go on. Go on! Come on!
Come on 15, keep going!
Number 15, 16. That was a fight.
Was there rivalry there straight away?
Was it AFL versus NRL?
A mate of mine before I came in,
he just said if you get the choice and you're boxing anyone
just pick the biggest guy, no matter what.
Sammy was the one.
I suggest you fight your (BLEEP) mate next time.
Yeah.
He was a bit quicker than I thought he was, Sammy.
Stop!
Watching you go for it that's exactly what we wanted.
Head up, when the chips are done, all against you and you did.
Stupid mistake, but there you (BLEEP) go.
I was nervous on the other side of it
when we got there I thought I really didn't want to fight anyone,
'cause I know I'm a lot bigger and heavier,
so if I had to fight anyone it would of been Heath.
I just looked at it logically like it's going to go for 30 seconds,
we've got gloves on, head gear on, what's the worst that can happen?
Might get a bit of a bloody nose or a bit stunned
but um, Heath's a tough opponent.
I've watched him play for ten years so I took it for what it was,
simple, just a, swing the arms a few times and...
I like the way that you said that you were wearing head gear
because I had a (BLEEP) job getting that thing on yours.
You know that was the biggest challenge of the entire course.
It's always controversial the milling.
You know people, you want to watch it
or you don't want to watch it.
Especially when you see women fighting,
believe it or not we've had as many fights with women
out on the battlefield as we have with blokes.
And that's true.
When somebody's in front of you, you can't look at gender,
you can't look at, it's do or die.
Number 18, come out here.
Who wants to fight number 18?
Number 13, lets' do it. OK.
Fight!
Keep going number 18, keep going! Keep going!
Keep going, let's go! Keep going number 18, keep going.
Stop.
No one likes being punched in the face, it's (BLEEP) horrible.
Stop, stop!
Get up!
Ask yourself if this is the job that you want to do.
But then, witnessing it as well and by the looks on your faces...
..that was pretty hard for the majority of you.
Bonnie.
I thought I'd be cool with it.
I was kind of mentally preparing myself for some kind of fight
or something
and the whole time watching everybody,
I think because we got to know each other and it was so brutal.
It was tough.
And like I love these guys, like, it was like, there were tears.
I was feeling emotional everyday actually.
But yeah that was hard. Well, I hated it.
I'm just going to put my hand up. Yeah, over to you.
I hated watching everyone pummel everyone
and you were squealing, Kerri, and getting belted
and I hated listening to that.
And we were last to go, Jana and I.
You two, go and glove up.
Make it a (BLEEP) good one.
Fight!
And I just hated every second of the fighting
and emotion completely overwhelmed me.
And I just opted out.
Do you want to quit?
Right, go over and see the medic. Move.
You cracked on and you did the fight basically
and it was a shame
because you would of only had to stand there
for another second or two max.
I know, I wonder why I didn't?
I'm just trying to understand where your thought process was
because ultimately you pretty much cracked it.
Yeah, I did.
I cracked it, I probably lost the plot a little bit, yeah.
It was a shame.
I keep wondering whether,
if my son or daughter were standing next to me
and I needed to fight for their lives,
I wonder whether I would of continued to fight
because I just took flight and I just gave up.
Something needs to overcome you
to get in that mode of wanting to pummel and kill someone.
Yep. And I didn't have it.
And I trained lots of aspects coming into this
but I didn't train emotion.
I don't know if you can train emotion.
For 20 years I've been taught on the tennis court
play how you must, not how you feel.
You know, you can't fight or box
or try and kill someone by how you feel.
You just must do it.
And I didn't do that that night.
Talk me through your experience Pete and your dislocated arm.
I remember seeing that pop.
Fighting Mark I didn't realise how long his arms were
which was pretty hard challenging guy to try and fight.
And Mark got some good shots on me and I fell backwards
and then the arm popped.
Elbow, elbow, out of joint.
Your elbows come out of joint.
I remember picking you up, Pete, and you saying put it back in,
I want to go again. Yeah.
Um, and your elbow was here.
I thought I said that to the doc, did I say that to you?
Any excuse to get out of it.
I was disappointed because he got the better of me
and all I wanted to do was get back and, and have another go.
So, for me it was just like can you put it back in,
cause I just want to get back in and try and get him.
Mark, how do you feel breaking a musician's arm?
You know what I've never had a fight.
I've never punched anyone in my life.
No one's ever punched me.
I've never done any boxing, I've never done any glove work.
You guys were like who wants to fight number 14
and all the guys are putting up their hands and I was like,
I don't want to fight anyone.
The only thing I was thinking was,
just because I'm the biggest please God do not pair me with Sam.
I just thought, I was shitting my pants.
So when Heath picked Sam,
I was like, thank God.
And when it's time for Pete and I,
I'm like, alright, well this is going to happen.
It's either him or me, pretty much, my mind-set was you know.
I tell you what, you did what you did throughout the whole course?
And that was, surprised us.
You really pulled it out of the bag.
Maybe you should start a new career.
The milling is to see if you've got the aggression to go there
and then to stop because that's what the battlefield is like.
We could be going into a room with enemy combatants,
next room, women and children, can we switch on and off.
And also witnessing what you have to witness,
that's why we get you there to watch it.
It's like, and you said about your friends, it's hard you know,
you've got to know each other for a couple of days
and you've got to punch them.
Well, listen, imagine your (BLEEP) pal that's dead in front of ya,
you've got to get him on your shoulder and get him out there.
It's not just about beating the shit out of each other,
even though we did enjoy this one, so excellent effort on that.
Best one we've had. Yeah, it is.
100%.
Do you remember collapsing?
I remember seeing spots.
Yeah, that wasn't much fun.
You tested my ceiling level of my athleticism.
Pushed to breaking point.
I knocked on the gates of hell
and I saw the grim reaper like three times that day, staff.
In order to defeat their demons.
That was a rebirth for you that day.
Oh, thank you, staff. That means a lot.
The team challenges, they were just absolutely brutal.
Go!
The helicopter where we had to drop into the water,
I actually swallowed a bit of water
and I had a little bit of a panic attack.
Don't panic.
I'm afraid of really, really tight spaces.
Lets go, let's go.
You can do this, let's go. I'm very claustrophobic.
It's pretty hard confronting my fears of claustrophobia.
So, I've actually ticked the box there.
It was tough.
I was certainly quite afraid of falling from high, high heights.
Lean back.
All a sudden there I was hanging off a rock and being let go.
I was petrified. Break, break, break!
Some of those kind of things,
I'll never have that opportunity again in life to do.
So, it was pretty amazing.
You OK? Yep.
The DS have no mercy.
The next debrief point is the toughest task.
Number 16, what was your toughest task.
Uh, definitely for me was the last challenge.
Probably the worst position I could be in.
(BLEEP) my shoulders cooked.
I came in with a pretty bad left shoulder.
It sort of finished my career, physically my left shoulder,
I thought might prevent me from competing as well as others.
I've taught myself that pain can only get to a ten.
Then after that it doesn't get any worse,
so if you can sit at ten and hold it,
then, you can do it alright.
So, I can hold the ten for a while.
Hang.
(GRUNTING)
(BLEEP)
I just give it my best shot and deal with the pain afterwards.
It's a distraction isn't it? A...
You know, you know it could, could give at any time.
Total distraction but one thing I, I tried to do
is distract the distraction with another distraction.
So, that's for me,
I made the food a really big point in my head.
I played on a trick on my brain that
um, I made the food a focal point of my...
Suffering. ..to complain about.
I made that bigger than what it was
because I know it'd take my mind away from my shoulder.
You going to throw it away? Yeah, man.
(BLEEP), no way brother. I'm just offering, do you want it?
Oh, if you're going to throw it away, I'm eating.
Yeah, no way, you cannot throw food away.
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
Oh, boss, even better for me.
In my food bowl every day I would rim it out basically.
I, and I rim, I'd rim Steffs out as well.
You know we got the bowl
and I would take every last piece of food available.
Good.
I'll never waste food again in my life
because you know we take it for granted.
It taught me a big lesson but going back to the last challenge.
That was the hardest challenge for me but um it, it taught me a lot.
That was amazing mate.
Jana your lack of being able to take oxygen in.
Yeah that was. Blue lips.
That was not much fun.
Do you remember on the combat assault course?
Yeah, yeah, that wasn't much fun.
Attack, let's go! Let's go, let's go, let's go! All the way!
I'm so cooked!
Being an elite athlete all your life,
you put a certain standard of yourself
of where you think you are athletically.
Get your, stand up. Stand by.
You tested my ceiling level of my athleticism
and it, that was an extraordinary feeling
to get to that point.
Head up number four. Number four, get in the game.
Do you remember collapsing?
Oh, I don't remember it actually happening
but I remember seeing spots.
Head up, head up, head up. Sorry.
Stand up. Stand up. Stand up, stand up.
Stand up. Stand up, stand up, stand up.
Realising I hit my very low reserve level.
Open your eyes, stand up.
I didn't actually know I could take myself to that level, and I wish...
It was amazing.
Yeah, I wish I could of done that more.
I asked for a 100% and you gave (BLEEP) a 110.
Don't quit on me again. I was going, seeing stars.
Don't quit on me again, I'll tell you now.
(JOHN SPEWING)
John, asthma.
I didn't know it was that bad. I was just really cold.
Uh, it just became something I had to deal with.
The cold air hit, hit my chest and I just battled to breathe.
Let me down, let me down!
I had this Bergen that weighed more than me
and I've turned into skin and bones
and because of the cold air,
my chest started closing in and the harness closed my chest.
I gave Sam the walkie talkie, I said go in and get me down!
And Sam's going no look around, look around.
I tell you.
I said get me the (BLEEP) down. I want to go down.
So, by the time I saw you Ollie.
No I tell you, do you know the first thing that I thought
I thought he's (BLEEP) got his head down.
He's having a nap. You were like that.
You got down to the ground.
I was just about to come unhook you and you're gone.
And I thought, (BLEEP) he's dead!
You alright, you alright?
Yeah.
What's up with you? You alright? What's up with you?
Um, just asthma. A bit exhausted.
Hold that.
It's a commendable effort, you know to come on this
and then get to where you got and well get to any stage of the course
and be dealing with asthma as well so...
Well done, mate. Thanks, Ollie.
Jessica, what was your hardest task?
Ooo-uh. I think we know that one, don't we?
We do, don't we Jess?
For me, toughest task was our... the one that I completed with Dan.
Now let's go. Let's go Jess.
We had to carry a casualty.
Walk together.
I knocked on the gates of hell
and I saw the grim reaper like three times that day, staff.
Let's go, let's (BLEEP) go! Let's go Jess, hurry up.
It's OK.
Come on! Come on, come on arms, come on.
It's OK.
I got to about a 150m and I thought my arms were going to fall off.
Stand up, stand up. Stand up, seriously I got you.
I'm done. I can't do anymore, staff.
That's it. Stand up, you got me.
Stand up! I can't do anymore!
Stand up! Get up!
Come here, come here, look at me.
I can't do anymore.
Look at me in the (BLEEP) eye...
There were a few tears. A few?
A few.
It flooded the (BLEEP) railway track.
Hey, get together, look at me. We are not weak! You are not weak!
Yeah, it was hard.
I remember Dan getting me face to face
and he just said you know what are we doing this for?
We're doing this for our kids.
We're going to get this done.
We're not stopping when we're tired. We're stopping when we're done.
Look at me in the eyes.
So that sort of gave me that last, that bit of boost of strength
and yeah, I just envisioned seeing my beautiful son
at that finish line
and that's what got me there
and I think I've always sort of always questioned
my own capabilities.
That's been something that's held me back a lot in life.
Never thinking that I was good enough.
You know I now know that I'm, I'm capable of anything
if I put my mind to it and I believe in myself
and you know if there's one thing I'm going to take away
from this experience is that I can't use no longer in my vocabulary.
Good. I'm super proud of myself you know
and I, I think my son's going to be um proud of his mum.
You know what? You were amazing.
Honestly that was amazing.
And you got through that and fair play to Dan.
Yep.
Talk about a team member.
That was the best team motivation as a pair that we saw on this course.
That was amazing Dan.
He ultimately helped you get through that.
He did.
Your determination, amazing. Different person.
Thank you, staff.
You're going to make me cry.
On a different level.
I've been a bit of a victim to my past,
but throughout this journey I feel like I'm a new person.
That was a rebirth for you that day. Oh, it was.
I saw you die, but I saw you grow so much in that day.
Yeah. Oh thank you, staff, that means a lot.
Thanks Dan. Yeah, no worries.
The DS saw potential in me.
Well done, Jessica. Thank you.
And they continue to see things in me
that I have failed to see in myself but I do now.
Mentally the psychological side of the whole course is intriguing.
Why are you here?
I want to go back to my family the best version I can.
I was forced to quit and I don't want to be forced to quit again.
I've lost it all.
You start learning more about yourself,
about how you want to change things moving forward in your life
for the better.
I'm a perfectionist.
Like I know you can't achieve perfection but I aim for that
and I expect everyone around me as well.
The best thing for you to do is to be present here.
You'll learn an awful lot about yourself I reckon.
I think the DS saw me as a human being.
They didn't really care about my indiscretions, my career.
There's no in between with people like us and you're one of us.
They look straight at the person, the person who I am,
they look into my soul and see what courage and character I have.
Be prepared to be knocked back a step and go again.
Think of those people that are doubting you.
Let them be your motivation.
What could I have done better?
'Cause that way you're always bettering yourself.
I kind of feel like I've found my purpose, you know?
Yeah. I'm feeling peace.
Yeah, that's good, man.
Well, that's what you're meant to do here.
It's just a great lesson in life,
whether you've got to go through 14 days of pain to get there,
but it's, it's worth it at the end.
One which is huge for me is, is sacrifice.
We signed the dotted line to give the ultimate sacrifice
for our queen and country,
for each other, for the job that we do.
When you're willing to give the ultimate sacrifice,
i.e. yourselves, there's no task too big,
how much are you willing to sacrifice
in order to get the job done?
You know time away from your loved ones, time away from your children,
time away from what, whatever it may be.
That's sacrifice in itself. Mark, sacrifice?
To be honest,
the one who was most excited was my wife for me to come because she...
Get rid of you for two weeks.
Yeah.
You're a 100% right, probably what it is.
She's got only two kids to take care of, instead of three.
Um, the toughest thing was, was not communicating with them you know.
Then actually I kind of got used to it
and then you gave us the second last day,
a video call where we actually spoke to and I broke down.
Like...
Hey guys (CRYING) WIFE: Hi, my love.
I miss you.
You guys, Daddy's OK, he's just, is, misses you guys.
SON: Daddy, I miss you. I miss you too.
It really affected me,
where I had to snap myself out of it cause I got into the comfort zone.
I had just, you've been here, it's almost done.
You know you got, you get to see them in two days.
Just put them behind you, you know.
So it was a very, it was a beautiful moment
but it's kind of almost screwed me at the same time.
You got through it right? Yeah.
And you used it.
And you used it right? I did, I did.
And some of you use your emotions to get through the course
and some of you cut yourself off from your, your emotions.
And I suppose John you're a prime example of that
with your phone call home.
Where you just completely cut it off, didn't you?
Yeah, I wasn't doing it.
Yeah. No chance.
Talk us through that.
Towards the back end, last two days, I got extremely emotional.
Just sat down and saw the phone,
and I saw the display pic and I saw my kids
and I just thought nah, I couldn't handle it.
I thought, no, that's not it.
I'm going to give you a couple of minutes to speak to your loved ones.
Make sure you press the camera button
in the centre of those three, yeah?
Hey. What, what do you want to do? Talk to me.
No thanks. No thank you. OK.
I'm focused.
And when I was an athlete. I never wanted distractions.
I just wanted to focus on what I was doing
and I'll enjoy the good times afterwards.
I sort of felt like, that's my private life,
and my emotions are my emotions
and that's the one little bit I've got left is that for me.
So, I, I just didn't, I just didn't feel like I wanted to share that
and I'll go home and I'll do it when I get home
and show them my love and share that with them.
This course is designed to see how you deal with that.
How you process it and how you learn from it.
Anyone else find the sacrifice hard? Yeah, Jessica?
Yeah.
I think the greatest sacrifice a person can you know ever make
is one where they're away from their kids.
So, I definitely found it comforting that there was a lot of other mums
um, on the course with me and you know there were times
where we really confided in one another
and spoke openly about our kids
and it made the experience a lot easier to deal with.
I think it's empowering as well to, to show other women
that you know just because you, you are a mum, life doesn't stop.
That we can continuously keep pushing ourselves.
Absolutely.
Yeah, it's not only women.
Sorry, sorry well...
No it's true, no because to be honest with you,
I went home and I realised how selfish I've been sometimes
thinking of my career. My success. What I want to do.
I want to be on S...
I remember when I said to my wife, I want to be on SAS,
she said don't be a (BLEEP) wit.
And I'm like I'm going to do this shit.
I'm going to be a (BLEEP) wit.
And, and yeah I, I went back to work.
I went back to my businesses. I went back to my family,
I'm like I, I've been selfish. I just wanted to be here.
Jana you had a bit of a wobble after we spoke about our regrets,
didn't we? We did.
We said you know what do we regret in life or you know
is there something that we could...
What are you ashamed of? Yeah, ashamed of.
In my final year of medical school,
I budgeted what I thought was I budgeted well for, my family.
As a single mum with three kids to get through medical school
and then found myself unable to pay the mortgage, unable to pay,
put food on the table for three kids
because I decided to chase success again.
I think that was such a vulnerable, open moment for us
to really discover why we're here in all truth
and why we shouldn't be here in, in other aspects as well.
And I've often prioritised success and dreams and chasing big goals
and realising that sometimes people get dragged on that journey
with you.
Anyway I realised I have a beautiful family at home,
a beautiful life
and then maybe my biggest challenge
was actually to go and be with my kids
rather than chase this dream of, being in a SAS,
selection course recruit.
My kids grew up where I was on a war path all their lives.
I never (BLEEP) saw them. They didn't know where I was.
They'd watch the news every night and think,
(BLEEP) hell, is that my dad?
You know and but to me, I was doing it for a good reason.
Not just for me.
I was doing it to make the world a better (BLEEP) place
with what I was doing, you know?
Well I look back on it now
and I think, oh, I could of spent more time at home.
And I'm trying to make up that time now.
So, it's about what's the greater gain?
You know you're going to go back a better person for your family
and for you. Exactly that.
So, as long as you've got that on your mind
and you're doing it for the right reasons.
Then it's, it's (BLEEP) worth a sacrifice.
Number 16.
Sam joins an exclusive club.
You have successfully passed this course.
Thank you, staff.
It was one of the hardest decisions I think we've ever had to be honest.
This course will not be for most of you.
You've got three outs.
One you VW, you voluntarily withdraw yourself from the course.
You take your number off and you hand it to one of the DS.
It's a posh way of saying, I quit.
Two, we will (BLEEP) you off. We will cull you.
You're just not good enough. You're too weak.
The third out, is that you complete this course.
In the last course, three people passed.
I'll be shocked if three of you pass this course.
Passing our selection process,
it was a hard decision, wasn't it, from the DS?
Yeah, it was one of the hardest decisions I think we've ever had,
to be honest.
'Cause we had, John, Mark and Sam at the end there
and Jana you just left just before that.
With Jana it was like,
we were tearing our teeth out really, weren't we?
You just give everything and more, you had nothing else to give
and you put your balls on the line, lady balls as well.
It was amazing.
Well done, well done.
It was a complete roller coaster of anxiety.
Let's go, come on!
To incredible accomplishments...
..I've learned I'm stronger than I thought was in certain things.
I've never ever seen a woman do that.
You're my first!
That I also have some vulnerabilities
that I wasn't expecting.
Oh, embarrassing.
Particularly, as it got tougher and tougher and tougher towards the end.
Go faster, faster, let's move!
Eventually I gave everything I had.
I pushed as hard as I could.
So, I don't feel like I've left anything on the ground.
You deserve this, you deserve this. I, I'm giving everything.
Come on! Give it everything and more then.
Yeah, it was just extraordinary.
Alright absolutely, legendary.
Thank you. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant.
How about you John?
What was it like being there at the end?
You having completed the course.
When you said it was over it was a big relief that the course was done.
This was totally out of my comfort zone.
The anxiety was at 10,000 every day.
Everything left!
The course breaks you down,
not only physically, but mentally, emotionally.
But to be able to complete it was really cool.
That's why I came on the course,
to see if I can still go the way I used to as an athlete.
Move, move, move!
And I'm walking away humbled, stronger...
..and walking away with a different mind-set.
(JOHN YELLS)
I didn't miss my goal and I'll jog on a happy man.
And Mark, to be honest,
I was like how the (BLEEP) is number 11 still here, right?
My goal coming in here was, I wanted to complete the course.
And I honestly felt I had the mind-set.
Roller coaster, physically, emotionally, psychologically.
It was incredible.
Please let them know Daddy's always there by their sides.
I came here to better myself,
to upgrade myself and my goal is go back a better father,
a better husband, a, a better son, a better friend.
You've achieved that? A 100%.
This is, without a doubt changed my life.
I said at the beginning and I don't say it to scare you.
I don't say it to put you off.
It is literally most of you, will not pass this course.
For those of you that passed selection, i.e. Sam.
What's your biggest learning from it?
I mean, passing the course I put myself at the end before I started
and then I figured out...
Well I tried to figure out what would get me there.
Go!
(BLEEP)
As painful as it was.
(BLEEP) I've got you, staff.
I had a wonderful experience.
Early on during the course I tried to teach my brain to love the hate.
(GUNSHOTS)
Stop! Stop!
Whilst having some fun throughout the tough moments.
I loved it.
I've delved as deep as I've ever done into my own personal downfalls,
my insecurities.
Two days after I retired, I separated my marriage.
Yeah.
My weaknesses, my strengths, made myself more aware of who I was.
This course was a great platform to do that.
To see where you can go mind and body.
I wanted to give you guys respect coming here and do it justice.
I respect you four men.
To what you guys have done,
um pretty, you're all impressive in your own right.
Sam. Amazing. You were just that level above everyone.
You know I would of loved to pass all three of you,
even all four of you.
But unfortunately you can thank Sam for...
Your amazing.
..for you know just tipping that scale and hats off to you mate.
Oh, thanks.
You know, especially with coming in, taking it seriously,
hats off to the people that came in and took it seriously.
It's been an absolute pleasure meeting every one of you.
You know, some we've known for longer than others
but it's been an, an amazing experience for us well.
Keep pushing outside that, that comfort zone
because that's where the growth is.
Well done.
To even like consider coming on this is a ballsy move,
cause you know you've all got profiles
and to come out on this and expose yourselves like you do
and you have done is a testament to your courage and yourself really.
I know you've come on here and a few of you like had self-doubt
but you believed in yourself to come through those gates,
so hats off to you there.
Unbelievable. And then everyone that's finished at different stages.
You've done it to the best of your ability.
So, for me I'm impressed with everyone to be fair.
Every single one of you have stepped through that gate.
You're all (BLEEP) winners if you want to call it winners.
All of you.
This course was an absolute pleasure
so thank you everyone so much, all of you.
Sam.
Congratulations, mate.
Absolutely outstanding effort.
I think I learned more in three days
than in two years of (BLEEP) therapy
trying to get over all my shit, you know?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER AMONGST EVERYONE)