(LEO HUMMING)
(LEO INHALES HEAVILY, HUMMING)
(HUMMING CONTINUES)
(INSPIRING MUSIC PLAYING)
I already feel
Like doing it again
Honey
'Cause once you know, then you know
And you don't want to go home
Back to wherever it is that you come from
I just want to stay high
With you
'Cause where I come from
Everybody frowns and walks around
With that old ugly thing on their face
'Cause where I come from...
-Thank you. -Ciao.
Bye.
And we grind And we hustle all day, don't we?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
There comes a time, there comes a time
-At night, where we come play... -(BOTTLE CLINKING)
And we'll be smiling, laughing
Jumping, clapping
Yell and holler, just feel
Just feel great, yeah
I just want to stay high with you
-With you -Thank you
Everything is everything
-And everything is beautiful... -(GLASS THUDDING)
How did you get like that too?
-See, what I do -Is keep it cool
And don't worry 'bout What everyone is doing, no
I already feel
Like doing it again, honey
I just wanna stay high...
(DOOR KNOCKING)
(ICE CLINKING)
(GLASS THUDDING)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
-With you -With you
With you, with you
Hello, I'm Leo. You must be Nancy.
-That's right. -LEO: May I come inside?
Yes. Of course. Yes, of course.
(DOOR CLOSING)
LEO: May I kiss you on the cheek?
Yes, that would be fine.
-(BREATHES HEAVILY) -(KISSES)
-LEO: You smell wonderful. -Thank you.
-LEO: What is it? -Coco Chanel.
-Nigella Lawson wears it. -Oh, Nigella. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) So sexy.
Don't you agree?
Yes. No, I... was waiting for you to say for her age.
Most people say when a woman's over about 42 that she's sexy for her age.
I was waiting... (INHALES SHARPLY) ...I was waiting for that.
-LEO: Oh, right. Uh... -(CHUCKLES)
No, Nigella is empirically sexy at any age.
-Hey, Nancy? -Yes.
-LEO: We're gonna have a great time. -Okay.
-LEO: Okay. -(INHALES SHARPLY)
I'll tell you what I'd love right now.
-What? -LEO: A drink.
A drink. Of course, of course. Sorry. (CHUCKLES) What can I get you?
How about a glass of fizz to ease us into the mood?
A glass of fizz. Hold on.
(MUMBLING)
-Allow me. -NANCY: Okay. (CHUCKLING SOFTLY)
(CORK POPS)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
For you.
(DRINK POURING)
To being empirically sexy.
(SMACKS LIPS, LAUGHS) Yes. I'll drink to that.
(SLURPS, GULPS)
A very fine vintage.
It was just from the minibar.
Oh! You mean me. (STAMMERS) Me.
-I'm just teasing. -Oh. Yeah, right-o.
-Shall we... shall we sit? -Yes, let's sit.
Mm. (CLEARS THROAT)
(INHALES SHARPLY)
-(CLICKS TONGUE) So, what would you... -So, you enjoy music by people?
Yeah, I do.
What... what kind of music do you like?
(INHALES SHARPLY) Oh, I don't know. Um, all sorts. Um...
Sorry, I'm a bit distracted. 'Cause, um...
Because up close you really are very good looking.
-(SLURPS) Mm. Mm. -Thank you.
Even more than... (INHALES SHARPLY) ...in your photo.
-Ah, I'm better in 3D? -(CHUCKLES) Mm.
I hope that you received, um,
-the con... contractual. -Oh, the money?
(HESITATES) The money. Yes, sorry. I didn't want to be crass and just say it.
Oh, there's nothing crass about getting paid for your work, Nancy.
Trust me on that.
-And thank you. It's all received. -(BREATHES DEEPLY)
-Are you Irish? -Yes, I am.
NANCY: Have you been doing this long?
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) A little while now, yeah.
-Long enough to know some things. -Do you enjoy it?
You know what? I love it, Nancy. Meeting all kinds of people.
Getting up to all sorts of things. Mutual pleasure.
You don't feel... (INHALES HEAVILY) ...demeaned then?
Not at all.
-NANCY: Or degraded? -No.
But what if you meet someone and you really just don't want to do it?
-LEO: Hasn't happened yet. -Really?
-LEO: (CHUCKLING) Really. -I find that astonishing.
-How many have you been with? -LEO: Oh. A gentlemen never tells.
Oh. Of course. Yes.
You don't have to worry, Nancy. This is just about us tonight.
So what is your fantasy?
Um...
I'm not sure you could really class it as a fantasy as such.
It's a bit mundane for that.
Okay. Well, what would you most desire? I mean, desires are never mundane.
(EXHALES SHARPLY) Um...
(SMACKS LIPS)
...to have sex...
tonight, um, with you.
That's about it, really... (STAMMERS) ...for the moment.
-Great. -But do you mind? Do you want...
I mean, am I... (BREATHES HEAVILY) ...a disappointment, so to speak?
(SMOOCHES)
-Okay? -Okay. Okay.
-Top up? -Yes, please.
-(GLASS CLINKING) -(DRINK POURING)
-Oh, thank you. -(BOTTLE THUDDING)
(CLICKS TONGUE)
I'm sorry, I just can't bear the suspense. (BREATHES HEAVILY)
Could we... (SCOFFS)
Would it be all right if we just did it now, right now?
Get it over with.
-(CHUCKLES) Get it over with? -Yes.
-You're meant to enjoy it. -No, I know that.
I'm just not very good at waiting for things to happen.
I'm jus... I'm much better when they've happened and I'm recovering.
You make it sound like it's an ordeal. It's... It's not compulsory.
-Should we just sit and chat for a bit? -No, I don't want to do that.
I don't think we'd have very much in common.
-Well, you might be surprised. -I'm very rarely surprised.
I plan things properly, specifically,
in order to avoid being surprised, if I'm honest.
Fine, but I hope I can surprise you anyway.
(INHALES SHARPLY) N... No, I don't want anything like that.
Anything like what?
You know, anything perverted.
Oh, no, no, no, not that kind of surprise.
-Oh, good. -No.
I don't like anything going into places that are designed for things to come out.
-You're talking about anal sex? -I don't like that phrase.
Nancy, I... I won't be doing anything you don't want me to do.
NANCY: I've never done anything like this before.
I've never bought anybody like this for my own...
-Pleasure. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) -...use.
-Nancy, listen to me. -(EXHALES HEAVILY) Yes.
-I choose to do this. -Right.
You know, you haven't bought me. You've bought my service.
I set a price, and you agreed.
I'm not being exploited.
I ca... can't bear the suspense. I can't bear it.
-LEO: The anticipation? -Yes.
Of disappointment.
LEO: Why do you assume you'll be disappointed?
(INHALES SHARPLY)
Because I... I've always been disappointed before.
I... I need to tell... Well, actually, I'd like to tell you something.
-Okay. -(SMACKS LIPS) I've never had an orgasm.
-With a partner? -With anyone.
-Or by yourself? -No, not even by myself.
N... N... Never. That's right.
-Right. I see. -It's not meant as a challenge.
-No, I haven't taken it as one. -Because you won't be able to achieve it.
Fair enough.
(CHUCKLES) Your confidence is endearing and no doubt necessary to the job,
but I feel I must warn you it is misplaced.
Um, and I don't want you to feel bad about it, because I won't be faking it.
I don't do that. Not anymore. Um...
I made a decision after my husband died never to fake an orgasm again.
-(SLURPING, SMACKING LIPS) -When did he die?
NANCY: Uh, two years ago. It was premature.
LEO: And this is your first?
Encounter? Since then? Yes.
In fact, if we do this, you will... (INHALES DEEPLY) ...only be the second man
I have ever had sex with in my entire life. (CHUCKLES)
-There, I've said it. -Well, thank you for telling me.
NANCY: If you want to leave now, I'm...
I'm very happy to pay half of what we agreed.
I don't want to leave, Nancy.
Nothing is making me want to leave.
I won't leave unless I'm clearly instructed to,
or I feel I'm in physical danger.
-Has that ever happened? -LEO: Yeah, a couple of times.
With a woman?
Yeah. Once was a woman. Well, her husband, he thought he wanted a threesome.
-But it turned out he didn't. -NANCY: Did she?
No, but she did want to meet one on one a week later.
-NANCY: And did you do that? -Sure.
Wasn't that dishonest?
-LEO: Of her? -Of you.
Well, why? I... I mean,
I'm not the married one. I'm just doing my job.
Wow.
(INHALES SHARPLY) It's all quite an education.
LEO: I hope it continues.
-Being saucy. -(CHUCKLES) Saucy.
My grandmother used to say the word saucy.
I'd rather not think about your grandmother right now,
-if you don't mind? -No problem.
I just... Anyway, I just wanted to let you know about the orgasm thing.
I'm not expecting one, so, um, you can relax. (CHUCKLES)
-I am relaxed. -(NANCY LAUGHING)
NANCY: This was a terrible idea.
(SIGHS)
LEO: You feel you're somehow betraying your husband?
-His memory, I mean. -What?
Oh, no, no, no, no. No. No, it's nothing like that.
-LEO: Then what? -This is just not very me.
I'm a teacher. Well, I was a teacher.
I... I used to set my pupils essays on the moral issues surrounding sex work,
-and here I am participating in it. -Nancy...
You're probably a very vulnerable young man.
-Maybe you're an orphan. -(CHUCKLES) I'm not an orphan.
Yeah. Or perhaps you grew up in care. You've got very low self-esteem or...
-LEO: I didn't grow up in the care. -You could've been trafficked
against your will. I mean, you can't tell just by looking at somebody.
-LEO: I wasn't trafficked against my will. -Well then, I simply don't understand it.
-LEO: You don't understand what? -Why you're doing this.
Oh... Oh, well, if you really want to know, I'm...
I'm using the money I make doing this to save up for college.
Oh!
Oh, how wonderful. Are you really?
No.
Oh.
-LEO: Nancy... (CHUCKLING) -(SMACKS LIPS, SIGHS)
LEO: ...you need to stop worrying about me.
-(EXHALES SHARPLY) -LEO: Let's move this back to you.
-Okay. Oh, God. -Now, Nancy...
-NANCY: This is crazy. -Nancy...
It's terrible. It's wrong.
My son... My son would be appalled...
-LEO: Nancy? -Yes?
-Let's go to bed. -NANCY: Okay.
Okay?
-Okay. -LEO: Good.
-Come here. -Mm-hmm.
-LEO: Is this okay? -NANCY: Mm-hmm.
-Okay? -Mm-hmm.
(KISSES)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
Mm.
Listen, uh, if you need to take anything,
-that's fine by me. -I'm fine, Nancy.
But I mean, legal things, you know, to help put it all down there.
-No, I assure you it all works. -I know. I mean, I just...
No, I know what you mean, but I don't need any little blue pills.
-NANCY: Never? -Never.
But what if you don't fancy the person?
I mean, you can't force yourself, surely, if you don't.
There's always something to fancy.
-No, there isn't. -There is.
Oh.
What's the oldest person you've ever done it with?
LEO: That's a bit reductive, Nancy.
-Reductive, that's a good word. I like it. -(CHUCKLES) Yes, it is a good word.
I'm glad you like it. I chose it just for you.
(CHUCKLES) But seriously, actually, I really do want to know. How old?
-Eighty-two. -Eighty-two?
-LEO: Yes. -Eighty-two?
-Yeah. -NANCY: Eighty-two.
Nancy...
-Okay, I'm feeling a bit better now. Um... -LEO: Okay.
So, what's the little thing about me
that you can hold on to with all your might...
(INHALES HEAVILY) ...to make you come alive in the moment?
Come here.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I like your mouth.
I like the line of your neck down to about here.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
LEO: And this...
it's so elegant.
(INHALES SHARPLY) Um... Just hang on a second.
Just, um... just go to the bathroom and change.
-Okay, but don't change too much. -NANCY: Oh, God.
(DOOR CLOSING)
(WATER SPLASHING)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(SNIFFLES)
(FABRIC RUSTLES)
(CAP CLICKS)
-(LEO MUNCHING) -Ta-da.
(MUNCHES) Oh! You look great.
Oh. Um, everything okay?
Yes. It's just I don't like Mars bars.
They... I can smell it. It's a bit off-putting.
Oh, sorry, sorry. I'll go and clean my teeth.
Would you mind? Thank you.
(DOOR CLOSING)
LEO: What's this?
-Very nice. -I've changed my mind again.
I don't want to do it. I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
You... I'll still pay. But you... You can get dressed and go.
(EXHALES DEEPLY)
(CLICKS TONGUE) This isn't about the Mars bar, is it?
-NANCY: No, it's not about the Mars bar. -Do you not find me attractive?
Don't be ridiculous.
You're clearly... aesthetically perfect, and apparently nice enough.
What did you picture happening?
I mean, why did you book me if you don't wanna do it?
I don't know, at this point. A moment of madness.
That's all. That's all.
Do you regularly have moments of madness like this?
No.
Do you usually make rational decisions?
(INHALES HEAVILY) Yes.
Well, then, why would this be any different?
I mean, you must have had a reason. Something that made you do it.
I bet you thought about it for days before.
Weeks, m... Well, months. Years, perhaps. (SNIFFLES)
LEO: Well, then, it's not a moment of madness.
This is what you want, Nancy.
And now that you have it, why won't you take it?
Why won't you take what you want when it's right here within reach?
(EXHALES SHARPLY) It feels controversial suddenly.
LEO: I don't find it controversial.
To want something like this, even to want it.
If it's just sex you want,
aren't there a dozen men around who would love to hook up with you?
If it's all too much. I mean, surely, they want to.
Oh, yeah. Yes, they do. Um...
Yes, they've made that very clear, actually, since Robert died.
But, um, it's me. I don't want to.
LEO: Why not?
They're all old. Old men.
I don't want an old man. I want a young one.
A young body. And, no offense, I have... I have to pay for that.
Of course, I do.
Well, I'm here, and I'm not offended.
Actually, why are you still here? I've just offered to pay you
to spend an evening doing whatever you please.
-Why you're still here? -I'm interested.
-In what? -In you.
Oh, for heaven sakes, no need to patronize me.
I'm not. You're conflicted.
Conflicted is interesting.
(CHUCKLES) You've never met a woman who can't make up her mind before?
-I don't believe that. -LEO: I've met women
who can't decide which sandwich to have for lunch.
But if we've ended up in a bedroom together,
they usually know what they want at that point.
-Well, young... young women are different. -Yes, I think they are.
Different to how we were... Well, how I was when I was young.
I wasn't exactly a social renegade anyway.
Some... A couple of my friends were, but we lost touch after school.
But London was a different country back then, it...
The rest of us were stuck in the 1950s.
-It was repressive. -LEO: Mm. I'm sorry.
And I wasn't brimming with sexual confidence,
like they all are now with their thigh-split dresses
and salsa classes and whatnot.
I mean, people do pole dancing for a hobby.
-I read about it. -(CHUCKLES)
I read an article about it. (INHALES HEAVILY)
I mean, a hobby? Wait... (SIGHS)
Christ, I sound so old. I know I sound old.
But, Leo, did you ever meet anyone who does pole dancing for a hobby?
I think that's mainly for posh girls.
Yes, you're probably right.
I mean, I know pole dancers, but they wouldn't pay to do it.
That's just some fucked up economics. You know what I mean?
Not really, but I mean, I can imagine. It's not a world I know much about.
Says the woman who booked a hotel and a sex worker for the night.
Oh, God. Oh. Oh, you're right.
Oh, God, I'm just a seedy, old pervert. Just go. It's disgusting.
I feel like Rolf Harris all of a sudden.
Rolf Harris?
Never mind. It's... it's...
Come on, let's get into bed.
-(EXHALES SHARPLY) -Let's get under the covers.
Why do they make these things like getting into a straitjacket?
-It's ridiculous. -(CHUCKLES)
What do you really want to do with your life?
-I'd like to see, uh, Venus before I die. -Okay... (STAMMERS)
I'm just curious about what it's like for you.
I mean, you're clearly very bright.
-What makes you say that? -NANCY: Well, I'm a teacher.
And I know there are some people
who use the word empirically in a conversation,
and there are very many who don't. And the clever ones are those that do.
-Did I use it? -Yes.
"Nigella, empirically sexy." And reductive.
Oh, yes, you're right. So, I did.
So what, you don't think this is a job for clever people, is that is?
No, no, I didn't mean that.
No. No, I was just asking about qualifications.
-Did you go to school? -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Of... Of course. I mean, my mother was very strict.
Irish-Catholic.
And what does she think about what... what you're doing now?
And you wanna talk about my mother? Really?
-NANCY: Well, you brought her up. -Well, now I'm dropping it.
But seriously.
Uh, she doesn't know.
-You know, this looks so sexy on you. -What does she think you do?
If I tell you, can we drop it? Because you really do look good in this.
I... I promise.
-She thinks I work on an oil rig. -(LAUGHS)
-An oil rig? (LAUGHS) -Yes, an oil rig in the North Sea.
That's... But do... Do you keep in contact?
Do you send her updates about life on the oil rig?
Now, Nancy, you promised.
But how do you know what happens on an oil rig?
I Google it, you know.
I found a website where there's stories about life on an oil rig,
and I copy and paste them sometimes.
(CHUCKLES) That's amazing, what a life!
Oh, dear.
Meanwhile, my son's doing his master's at university.
Are you not happy about this?
Oh, yes. No, I am. Of course, I'm happy. It's great.
Why wouldn't I be happy? It's just what's expected.
Why do you sound so ambivalent about it?
-Ah, ambivalent. That's another good word. -LEO: Mm-hmm.
-So, your son? -Yes. Well, I... I... I... Oh, dear.
I've never said this to anyone before. This is awful.
That's okay. Who am I gonna tell?
Come on.
Uh, well, the truth is I find him boring.
-(LAUGHS) You find your own son boring? -Yes, that's awful, isn't it?
I just never heard anyone say that before.
-What... Have you always found him boring? -No, not always.
No. He's... He's a very nice boy.
He's just very predictable, like his father.
-What's he's studying? -Chemistry.
Please, forget I said that. Just forget it.
He's a lovely boy and I love him very much,
and I should be grateful because he's turned out very well.
-Any other kids? -NANCY: (CLEARING THROAT) Daughter, older.
-We don't get along. -Oh, why not?
She thinks I'm cold.
-LEO: And what do you think? -I don't think I'm cold.
I... I mean, I don't feel cold inside, but maybe I'm cold with her
'cause she's so over the top all the time.
So, the opposite to her brother?
She lives in Barcelona in this bohemian set up. They're all artists.
Although, I've never seen any actual art.
Unless the art consists of burning your parents' money,
which actually, is not out of the question.
At least she's not boring.
NANCY: No. No, there is that. There is that.
So, your children have disappointed you, Nancy?
Yes. But when did you last see your mom?
Why?
'Cause I'm interested in where you come from.
I don't come from anywhere.
You know, I was actually found under a little patch of mushrooms,
size of a bean, raised by a friendly wolves.
(KISSES)
NANCY: Oh, go on, tell me something.
I'm in awe of anyone who becomes a mother.
-(DRINK POURING) -It's the hardest job in the world.
NANCY: (CHUCKLES) Did you get that off Mumsnet or something?
-Sorry? -Well, it's a bit general.
You know, not all mothers are good.
LEO: Well, I wouldn't know. I only have one.
Yeah. Well, we're all stuck with whatever we get, aren't we?
Parents and children alike.
At least, I know what mine are up to though.
Haven't you ever wondered if your son is lying to you about his life?
-No. -LEO: Why not?
Maybe he doesn’t wanna disappoint you.
(SWITCH CLICKING)
(INHALES HEAVILY)
-Has he got a partner? -Yes. Nice girl, also boring.
Training to become a primary school teacher.
-Boring, boring, boring. (SLURPS) -(CHUCKLES)
I thought you said you were a school teacher.
Yeah, well, I was a religious education teacher
in a secondary school. That's a very different beast to...
coloring in with six-year-olds. (EXHALES HEAVILY)
They say primary education is the most important.
(SCOFFS) Well, they're wrong.
Do you know what proportion of secondary school students think
that religious education is worth even ounce of their time and attention?
-I mean, I wouldn't know... -No. Well, exactly. Exactly.
So, there I would be, year after year, spouting the same old stuff,
unable to break away from the curriculum, in case I got complaints from the head,
and unable to ask them anything real in case we lost time.
And just battling through the work
and getting them... (INHALES HEAVILY) ...through the exams,
only to start again the following year, doing the same old stuff.
It was stultifying. (SLURPS)
(GLASS THUDDING)
-I think I may have killed the mood. -I'm not sure there was a mood.
-I'm sorry, that was rude of me. -No, it's true.
No. But you're not paying for the truth though.
You're paying for a fantasy.
In this moment, I'm not sure what I'm paying for.
I can show you.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I don't doubt it.
-What would get you back in the mood? -(EXHALES SHARPLY)
What would your husband do to get it all going again?
(CLICKS TONGUE)
Um... Well...
he... he would, uh...
take all his clothes off and lie in the bed...
without putting his pajamas on. And I would take all my clothes off,
put my nighty on, and lie in the bed next to him.
And then he would rub my shoulders and breasts a bit,
and then he would climb on top, do the business,
kiss my cheek, roll off, put his pajamas on and go back to sleep.
-That's it? -That's it.
-Always? -Always. No deviation for 31 years.
LEO: And that's the only sex you've ever had?
Correct.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-Wow. -(INHALES HEAVILY)
"Wow" indeed.
No oral?
-No oral. -Not even on him?
No, he said it was demeaning.
-For you? -For him.
(CHUCKLES) Okay.
Okay. And I presume it was the same for him on you?
Yes. He said that was demeaning for him too.
So, you've never had?
No, never had.
Never given.
-Do you want to? -Yes, I do. I want to.
I want to very much. I always have done. (SOBS SOFTLY)
Sorry. Sorry to cry. It's stupid.
(SOBS) I am...
(SOBS) I think that, uh...
Well, when I was a, um, a teenager, my parents...
took me to Greece on holiday.
Um, it was a once in a lifetime trip, for them anyway, and, um...
at the hotel, there was this waiter, he was about 20...
and he looked at me like I was...
the most delicious thing he'd ever seen. And I felt my body go to water.
And one night... (SNIFFLES) ...he was hanging around after his shift,
and I was hot.
And so... (INHALES SHARPLY)
...I went out into the garden after my parents had gone to bed,
and he was there, smoking a cigarette, and...
uh... (INHALES SHARPLY) ...I stood in front of this...
little bush covered in tiny pink flowers, looking out to sea.
And without a word, he came up
and... (INHALES SHARPLY) ...kissed my neck,
and put his hand under my skirt and into my knickers.
And I could feel him sliding around down there.
And I was pushing myself back into him.
It was the most crazy, exciting feeling I've ever had.
And... And, um, then a car started up.
The headlamps came on and he was startled, so he dashed away.
And the next day, we went home.
And I wish we'd just stayed one more day.
(SMOOCHES)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
-(SMOOCHES) -(NANCY MOANING)
(LEO SMOOCHING)
(NANCY GASPING)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(DOOR KNOCKING)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
-NANCY: Hello. -Hello again.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
-(KISSES) NANCY: Thank you.
This is a very nice surprise.
Is it? It's the same room. I mean, I booked the same room
'cause I didn't want to be thrown by a new layout.
-Oh, no. I mean, you booking me again. -Oh. (CHUCKLES)
I mean, you must have been satisfied the last time, so I'm happy about that.
Yes. Yes, I was satisfied. Yes.
-LEO: But? -But?
Oh, it was sounded like there was going to be a but.
No, no, no, not particularly.
I, um... I got a little bit of feedback,
and a couple of attainment goals for this time.
Nice. I see. Sure. Okay.
-Would you like a drink? -Yeah. Sounds great.
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Cheers. -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
So, I've made a list of things that I'd like to get through.
-Oh, that sounds sexy. -Don't mock me, I'm a teacher.
-Old habits die hard. -What's first on the list?
(EXHALES SOFTLY, CLEARS THROAT) Number one, I perform oral sex on you.
Number two, you perform oral sex on me.
Number three, we do a 69, if that's what it's still called.
Oh. I don't know. Um, four, me on top.
Five, doggy style.
Well, that all sounds very achievable.
Oh, does it? Oh, good.
(EXHALES SHARPLY) Good. 'Cause I'm... I have no frame of reference.
I've tried, um, looking on the internet, but it's alarming, frankly.
I mean, if you type in "classy porn" to Google,
up pop 12 windows of erections, I mean, there's no build up at all.
Have I booked enough time?
-You... You wanna do it all today? -NANCY: Yes, if possible.
I mean, it's just... You're quite expensive,
and I'm not sure if I'll be able to afford another session after this.
Okay.
I understand, um...
Isn't there something else that should be on that list?
Like what?
Well, I'd love for you to feel completely satisfied. If it all possible.
(GASPS) Oh.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Oh. Big O, in fact. (CHUCKLES) Yes. No.
I... I like a list that can be fully ticked off.
Achievable goals.
That's the part of happiness, there's no point in wishing for the moon.
Well, it's an orgasm, you know?
It's not a Fabergé egg. People have them every day.
Right. Do you know what? You're right.
That all make sense.
I just... I want to feel a sense of achievement.
-LEO: Yes. -You know, I don't want to walk away...
(INHALES HEAVILY) ...from this feeling unresolved.
LEO: May I?
You know what? We'll do as much of this as we can today.
I think we'll certainly make a significant dent in it.
Good. That's good. Good.
-You wanna start with the blowjob? -(SLURPS, GULPS)
Yes, I think so.
Get the big one out the way first. (CLEARING THROAT)
Should I kneel?
Well, I could stand on a chair but that's not how it's usually done.
(NANCY MUMBLING)
You don't have to do any of this.
No, I know. I... But I want to be a woman of the world.
When... There are nuns out there with more sexual experience than me.
It's embarrassing. Do you want me to brush my teeth?
What? No. Nancy, you can just...
-You can just let go. -NANCY: Let go?
What am I letting go of, exactly?
I mean, we need some sort of plan, don't we?
I don't want to swing from the chandeliers and make loud animal noises.
I'd like to see that.
You're letting go of the thing inside that grips you, you know,
that judges you, that watches you from the outside.
Christ, if I let go of that, anything might happen.
And that's the only thing keeping my life together,
keeping it ticking along. Here?
-Over here. -And, well, what am I supposed to do?
Just float around like some sort of free-form jellyfish?
You know, waiting for something to come up.
-No. But you're... I mean... -Do I undo your belt?
Do you undo it? What's normal?
-Well, it's more of a matter of who's... -Well, I'll do it. I'll do it.
-Okay. -No. I jus... I just want to do a blowjob.
I want to get that sorted, and then we can work through
as much of the rest of the list as we can in the allotted time.
Like, we've got a double lesson timetabled for oral,
and then we can see what's left of the afternoon?
-Exactly. -And shall I ring a bell
at the end of the session?
Do you use a bell? You didn't last time.
Oh. (CLICKS TONGUE)
Very funny.
-(CELLPHONE RINGING) -(CLICKS TONGUE) Oh.
Um...
Oh. Sorry.
I'll be back to all this in just a second.
-(CELLPHONE CONTINUES RINGING) -(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)
NANCY: (MUFFLED) Hi, darling. Hi. Hi.
It's not a great time. No, no, no.
Yes.
I understand that, but it's not...
Pamela, it's not something I can sort from here.
I'm in London...
(DOOR OPENING)
-Sorry about that. -Everything okay?
NANCY: Yes. My daughter, she's in a bit of a pickle at the moment, shall we say.
Sorry to hear that.
Well, it's not the first time, won't be the last.
She used to ring her father about all this, but, anyway. Um...
Should we just try and get through what we can?
-Before the exam? -NANCY: Um, yes.
Nancy...
(EXHALES SHARPLY, SMACKS LIPS) Hmm.
There is no exam.
It's all a dance.
-I don't know the steps. -An improvised dance.
We just go where it takes us, there's no timetable, there's no bell.
But I only paid for two hours.
Well, then let's enjoy them, every single minute.
Okay. Come on then.
You wanna start with the blowjob or go with something else on the list?
Well, I think I'd like to go in order.
Though, I feel like I've prepared for the blowjob now.
-Mm-hmm. -Robert, my husband,
he never... he never wanted to try anything new.
He... he planned everything. I mean, ev... even his own funeral
Actually, I was terrified he would turn up on the day
and tell me I put the wrong ham in the sandwiches.
It wasn't a...
furnace of passion that burnt out, our relationship,
it was more like, um... the bottom drawer of an AGA.
A what?
Um... Uh... (STAMMERS) ...it's an old... It's an old fashion stove.
You... you can't turn it off, it just keeps on chugging away,
and the bottom, there's a kind of cooler drawer thing
-that you can push things to the back of. -Mmm.
You know, to cook them, slowly, like a bowl of stewed apples or something.
-LEO: I see. -NANCY: Do you?
LEO: Uh, not really, but I think you mean
your marriage stewed slowly because you pushed it to the back,
and then forgot about it.
-Hmm. -Hmm.
Well, anyway, he's gone. It's all gone. Ancient history.
(INHALES HEAVILY) And I want to try something new.
Then good.
So, just need to get that blowjob under my belt... Your belt, I would say.
Okay. (CLAPS)
-(PANTS) -Okay?
Okay. Okay.
Look. (BREATHES SHARPLY) I have an idea.
You like dancing, right?
-Mm. Only when nobody's watching. -LEO: Okay.
Well, then, we're gonna change the mood. I'm gonna put on some music,
and you're gonna dance like nobody is watching.
-(HUMMING) -(BAG ZIP CLOSING)
(SMACKS LIPS)
(BLUES ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Come on, Nancy Stokes, come have a dance with me.
Well, you come upstairs, but not to talk
You stay a little while Then you do a little walk on home
I hear you downstairs, smoking cigarettes I hear you talking shit
'Cause you ain't got nothing To talk about at all
So, you took me to the party And got me alone
You said you wanna feel good And you feel like you're gonna explode
Well, I don't care, can't pay attention
And I don't give a damn About your intentions at all
Well, pass me the whiskey, pass me the gin
Pass me whatever there's drink left in
Well, I don't care If it's seven in the morning
For all I care It could be the second coming
Well, you say you can't take it anymore
You can't live like this It's a really big deal
Well, I don't care, can't pay attention
And I don't give a fuck About your intentions at all
Whoo!
-(CELLPHONE RINGING) -Oh, shit.
(GRUNTS) Oh, God.
That would be my daughter again. (BREATHES HEAVILY)
She always rings twice.
She always forgets the most crucial bit of information and has to ring back.
-Okay. -I don't want to answer it.
-LEO: Well, then don't. -I always answer it.
-Even when you don't want to? -NANCY: Yes.
-Especially when I don't want to. -Okay.
NANCY: Well, what am I gonna say? "Hello darling, I'm sorry.
"Can't talk now 'cause I booked this man for the night and I...
"I'm trying to work up the courage to perform oral sex on him."
-Well, you don't have to say that. -(CELLPHONE CONTINUES RINGING)
Shall I answer it?
"Hello, darling. I'm sorry but your mother has something in her mouth right now.
-(SHUSHES) -"I could take a message
"if you would like."
Listen, darling. I...
Yes. Oh! Did he? Oh, God. Yes.
Oh. (LIPS SMACKING) Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Oh, I am so sorry. Yes, I do understand.
-Mm-hmm. -(VEHICLE REVVING)
-NANCY: Yeah. -(BIRDS CHIRPING)
NANCY: Listen, darling. I... I really do...
Pamela?
Pamela? Oh, she's gone.
Just like that. No goodbye?
Well, either her battery ran out or she's been abducted.
Was it serious, her pickle?
NANCY: Well, it can be sorted, that's the main thing.
I see.
(BREATHES HEAVILY) Matthew will provide the grandchildren.
I have no doubt of that.
If Pamela can just keep herself alive, I'll be happy.
LEO: You don't sound very happy.
Well, it's very stressful being a parent, Leo.
It's a stress that never leaves you.
It's... It's like a thumb on a bruise.
Sometimes my children... (CHUCKLES) ...feel like a dead weight around my neck.
(INHALES SHARPLY) I'm not sure I'd have done it if I'd known.
What do you mean?
I mean, I could have done
many other things if I hadn't been a mother.
What else would you've done?
NANCY: I don't know.
Cross the dessert on a horse.
Started a... an artist colony on a hot little island.
Had a... had an orgasm.
Would you find a massage patronizing at this point?
No.
No, I wouldn't.
(NANCY CHUCKING SOFTLY)
(BOTH CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
You think your kids could feel it...
-your disappointment in them? -(BREATHES HEAVILY)
I don't know, Leo. I doubt it. They mostly didn't notice me, I think.
I mean, do you notice when your mother is disappointed?
Are you worried that she'd be disappointed if she knew what you do?
I'm not sure what you mean.
There's nothing disappointing about an oil rig man.
Anyway, there's still time for you.
Oh, that's sweet. But there isn't.
This is it.
(EXHALES SHARPLY) My final attempt at a life.
For the orgasm, I mean.
You might have to abandon riding a horse across the desert.
-Can I ask you to do something for me? -LEO: Mm-hmm.
Would you mind taking your shirt off?
Sure. Okay.
Can I touch you for a moment?
You're just so...
I never thought I...
Can I touch your shoulders?
Yes.
And your arms?
Yes.
And your chest?
Yes.
(INHALES DEEPLY)
(GASPS) Oh. Okay. Put that back on then.
LEO: You want me to put it back on?
Yes, if you want to.
I thought things were progressing quite nicely.
-I was suddenly overwhelmed. -LEO: By what?
-Some wave, something of... -Lust.
Maybe. I... Sorry,
I just feel a little bit sick actually. A tiny bit faint.
-Put your head between your legs. -NANCY: I can do that in my own time.
Oh, I'll just... just, um... Maybe step away for a moment.
Catch my breath. (BREATHES HEAVILY)
Have a drink. (SLURPS)
-(GRUNTS) -(GLASS THUDDING)
It's just I, uh... I've never felt anyone like you before.
-Like me? -You know, muscular, fit. Like a model.
-LEO: I work out. -(SCOFFS) I'm sure you do.
I work hard.
Did you ever feel sometimes it's a bit shallow?
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah. But my clients like it, you know? And I like being wanted by them.
When I'm here with you, being looked at by you, I feel good.
God, I can barely imagine that.
Come here and stand with me.
Hmm.
I've always been ashamed of myself.
My body, I mean.
-Always? -Hmm.
Always been aware of what's wrong with it.
You know, stubby thighs, fat tummy.
Boobs come down to my navel now, my arms wobble.
They have done since I was 20, actually.
And if I didn't pluck here and here...
I could join a circus after a month.
-Oh, I've plucked it. -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Don't be fooled by the muscles, Nancy.
-I sometimes feel ashamed too. -That's hard to imagine.
Well, if I didn't look like this,
you might not have chosen me, or wanted me.
-Can I unbutton this? -Yes.
-Can I take this off? -Mm-hmm.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
LEO: Your body is beautiful.
I wish you could see that.
(GASPS)
I have always quite liked my calves.
They're not completely awful.
I can hear my mother. "Vanity is a weakness, dear."
It's not vain to enjoy your body, to love it.
But I know that voice in your head, the one that talks shit at you.
I have one too.
It gets tiring.
So boring.
-Oh, I'm sorry to bore you. -You're not...
You're not boring me, Nancy.
Hmm. Is Leo Grande your real name?
LEO: No.
Is Nancy Stokes your real name?
No. (EXHALES HEAVILY)
Do you know? Sometimes, I wonder whether what you young men need is a war.
Excuse me?
Well, you're all just so fit, and bursting with energy,
and killing pretend soldiers on your computers,
but actually, underneath it all, you're really quite anxious.
Not quite sure of yourselves.
Perhaps that's what every generation needs, a war.
It's self-correcting. It makes us all nicer.
My generation of men,
they never had a chance to prove themselves.
I mean, I think they felt, actually, inadequate in front of their fathers.
And I think it's caused a whole lot of bother
and I'm worried your lot are gonna be even worse.
-My brother's in the army. -Is he? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to imply...
-Is he older or younger? -He's younger. He's 24.
-NANCY: Huh. Which bit of the army? -Artillery.
Hmm. Oh, the big guns. Yeah, well, he might as well go all in.
If I was in the army, I'd want the big guns too.
-Do you see him? -Not much.
-NANCY: Miss him? -Of course.
I love him.
And he doesn't... He doesn't know about all this?
No. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
No.
(SMACKS LIPS) He thinks I work on the oil rig.
NANCY: Huh.
Not sure he believes it.
So, you're not close?
Can I top you up?
Yes, please.
Thank you.
Not for me.
Or I won't enjoy myself as much.
You wanna play a game?
Like role play.
We could work the blowjob into the game. It might help.
How about teacher and student?
We could have an R.E. lesson.
Like the Garden of Eden.
The fall of man.
Come on, miss, teach me about original sin.
Hmm?
You know, I've been very bad today, miss.
You might have to keep me behind after class.
You have to stop wearing those tight skirts, because I...
I can't concentrate on my Bible.
And when you lean down over my desk, I can see right down your blouse...
-and last night in my bed... -Okay, stop it.
-But, miss... -Look, we shouldn't be doing this.
-No, I know, miss, but we could just... -No! Safe word! Safe word. Safe word.
-What? -Safe word.
We don't have a safe word.
Uh... Well, I didn't think we'd need one.
Oh, it's okay, we can stop. Look, I've stopped.
I'm just... I'm not into all that, okay? My God.
Okay, sorry. I didn't mean to...
(STAMMERS) I know what this looks like. But it's just not the point.
I don't want to dominate you. I don't want to teach you.
-It's only play. -NANCY: Yes, I know,
but I don't want to play at that. I want to play at something else.
I want to play at feeling... (INHALES HEAVILY) ...young again.
I want that feeling back. That feeling of having it all before me.
You wanna be 16 again?
No, I don't want to be 16 again. Being 16 is bloody awful.
No, I want the feeling of being 16 again. That... (INHALES SHARPLY) ...that power.
God, I didn't know I had it. It was wasted on me. (BREATHES DEEPLY)
But some of the girls I taught, oh God, they knew what they were doing.
-With the men, I mean. -LEO: What do you mean?
Oh, I mean, I tried to tell them, the girls, but I mean,
the skirts just kept on going up, and up, and up, and up
until you could practically see how clean their back teeth were.
(BREATHES HEAVILY) They just didn't care.
Why should they? They can wear what they want, surely.
Men can't always control themselves, Leo. They're not all like you.
Some of those male teachers were like lambs to the slaughter, poor sods.
Well, maybe they were in the wrong job.
Or maybe they should have realized those girls weren't there for them.
Have you ever been...
you know, in trouble?
Been in trouble?
Um... I mean, isn't selling sex illegal?
No, soliciting money for sex is illegal.
I don't solicit money for sex, Nancy.
No, I sell my company.
I provide interesting conversation.
I can dance. I can mix 20 different cocktails.
Whether or not we have sex is our business.
There's nothing illegal about that.
I mean, as well as the blowjobs,
it's also quite nice to get to know each other.
Yes, I suppose so.
LEO: That's why I tend to recommend more sessions.
-NANCY: Sorry? -It makes it more satisfying, you know?
I'm actually looking for more regular clients...
-Oh, I see. -LEO: What?
-I see where this is going. -LEO: It's not going anywhere.
Oh, no, here it comes. The hard sell.
What, is it like driving lessons? Do I get ten for the price of nine
if I book in advance with the Leo Grande School of Sex?
I don't know what other kind of clients you have, Leo, but I am not a rich woman.
-LEO: No, I know, but... -So, you know,
I'd like to wind up the sales chat before my time, and money,
and patience run out. So... (INHALING HEAVILY) ...please,
Leo Grande, or whatever your name is,
just give me my bloody blowjob and we can all go home.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
Why don't I sit on the edge here?
And you could kneel on a cushion in front of me. How about that?
Okay, if that's optimal.
-Do I just... get it out? -That's right.
(BREATHES SHARPLY)
(HAND THUDDING) Oh, it's pathetic. I'm pathetic.
(BREATHES HEAVILY) That list was such a stupid idea.
You know, you don't have to do any of this at all.
I'm scared. That's the truth.
LEO: Of what?
That I... That I won't like it. That you won't like it. (EXHALES SHARPLY)
Maybe you won't.
-(NANCY GRUNTING) -But you can try and see.
There's no harm.
Unless you're gonna bite it off. In which case, I probably won't like it.
(CHUCKLES, BREATHES HEAVILY)
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
Nancy, everyone needs something different.
Maybe you just wanna talk?
You know, I have a regular client
who just likes to hold hands and watch TV together.
(SIGHS)
I mean, don't get me wrong, I also have a client
who likes me to walk in without a word,
have sex with her as quickly and silently as I can, and then leave.
Hmm.
Actually, I quite like that one because it only takes ten minutes
but she pays for the full hour.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
Then there's a guy who wants me to dress up as a cat
and then ignore him for an hour and go home.
-Um... What, and have no sex? -No.
-Uh... -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(SNIFFLES)
I think you'd make a very good cat,
-for what it's worth. -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-(SNIFFLES) -Thank you.
What I'm trying to say is, I don't judge my clients.
You know. Unless they're total arseholes.
And you're definitely not
-a total arsehole. -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(CHUCKLES)
Well, that's nice to hear. (SNIFFLES, EXHALES HEAVILY)
I have a client who can't walk.
And I bathe her.
But what she really wants is dirty talk while I do it.
And then I join her in the water.
That's what she wants.
-Hmm. -Everyone wants something different.
You sound like some sort of sex saint.
-Are you real? -(CHUCKLES)
Oh, no, I really fancy her.
It's quite hot.
And I look forward to it.
It's what she needs.
You make it sound like it should be available
from the local council. Like a public service.
Mm, can you imagine how much less bullshit there would be?
As long as they don't put the rates up.
-People are furious enough about that. -Well, they'll still collect the bins.
(CHUCKLES)
It's different for women, though, in your line of work, isn't it?
-More dangerous? -It can be.
Well, I've been called some choice names, I've been slapped about a bit.
-Oh, my God. -(CHUCKLES) Come on.
You know that. You do.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
I used to set this exact essay question in my ethics lessons.
"Should sex work be made legal?"
And every year, 30 essays came back, all exactly the same.
What did they say?
(SMACKS LIPS) Uh.
That although the moral issues remain up for debate,
the legalization of sex work would ultimately provide protection
for sex workers, and help eradicate trafficking and abuse.
-Sounds like Wikipedia. -It is Wikipedia.
They all copied it out, word for word. Every year.
Except this one boy, Lucas White, who wrote, um,
"Sex work should be made legal, so your mum pays tax on her earnings,"
-which did provide a bit... -(CHUCKLES)
-...of light relief, if I'm honest.
(SMACKS LIPS) Oh.
I think it's...
much bigger than that, the whole idea.
Just think how civilized it could be if it was just available to all,
and there's no shame attached, there's no judgment.
You want sex and you're frustrated you can't get it for whatever reason,
you're shy, you're unwell, you're grieving,
you're physically struggling, so you just hire someone like me.
It's all regulated and safe.
For you. For me. Better for everyone.
And I help you...
or I pleasure you...
even better.
This... The thing is, lots of people like the secrecy.
They get off on it, or they just want the fantasy,
and that's totally fine. But...
I quite like the reality...
and it's my actual job, so...
You know, one thing I love, Nancy, is just to watch someone's face
when they feel pleasure.
When they let go, when they succumb,
when the body goes with it.
That heat. That feeling.
Everything just loosens.
It's so... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
It's just so, so great.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(SMACKS LIPS) Huh!
-You do like it. -(CHUCKLES)
Thank you for telling me...
that, Leo.
I mean, not only because it was very interesting and enlightening.
But also...
Do you mind?
Go for it.
(ZIP OPENING)
(BREATHES SOFTLY)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(RAIN PATTERING)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
Mm.
(GROANS SOFTLY)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
That's a surprise.
A good surprise?
Yes, very good. I wasn't sure about it.
You know, whether I'd like it. But it's like bathing in a warm sea.
I may have dropped off for a moment, actually. Sorry.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) It's no problem. But also no?
No, no orgasm. No. (BREATHES HEAVILY)
I wonder what noise I'd make.
Apparently, sneezing is a very good sign of how loud a person is when they orgasm.
-(GROANS SOFTLY) -LEO: Oh, really?
Yeah. My mother sneezes very loudly.
But some people sneeze like cats. You know... (IMITATES SNEEZING)
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I can never rid myself of the notion that they must orgasm like cats too.
If cats orgasm, I don't know. Do they? Nobody knows.
How did you fake it with your husband? What noise did you make?
Um... Oh, God, um, uh...
Wait. Just a second.
Let me think it through, um. (BREATHES HEAVILY)
-(GRUNTS) -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
-Ah. (CHUCKLES) -(LEO CHUCKLING SOFTLY)
-That was very convincing. -(NANCY LAUGHING)
But anyway, that's number two. Ticked off the bucket list.
-Or "licked off the fuck-it list." -Quite. (CHUCKLES)
And I'm very happy about that.
You are very good at this whole business, you know?
-I hope you know. People should tell you. -Thank you. That's nice to hear.
It's sort of a mysterious gift you have.
It's not so mysterious. I just make the effort.
And I like you, so it's easy.
See, see?
You always know the right thing to say, when to make the move and all that.
-LEO: You learn to read people. -Hmm.
-I'm not sure I ever have. -LEO: Well, you have to want to first.
Yeah. (EXHALES SHARPLY)
I probably don't want too enough to put in the work.
I just pay attention.
And what about you? Is there someone who pays attention to you?
You know? Is there someone?
Someone?
NANCY: Oh, yeah, a special person, a particular person.
-What, other than you? -NANCY: Oh, stop it. (SMACKS LIPS)
I mean, a girlfriend or boyfriend. Or, you know,
one of those fluid arrangements you have these days.
-Nancy. -NANCY: Leo.
It's all about this moment, in this room, right now.
It's all about you.
Forget everything else. That's the whole point.
Yes, but who are you in there?
Who are you out there? That's what I want to know.
-Now I've re-booked you. -And I'm very glad you did.
And I am too, but I just thought maybe we could personalize it a bit,
if... if it's gonna be a regular thing.
I thought you were happy with what I'm doing?
NANCY: Oh, my goodness, believe me, I am.
My body is no longer the carcass I've been heaving around for 30 years.
No, it's now a thing of wonder. A playground of delight, as you say.
Did I say that?
Mm. Perhaps not. But what about you?
The real you?
I'm whatever you want me to be...
-here, in this moment. -(INHALES HEAVILY)
Hmm. But what if I want to know who you are without me?
When I'm not there?
Wouldn't that be okay too?
Nancy, I hope I've given you what I said I would give you.
Well, you said we should get to know each other.
LEO: Nancy.
NANCY: So you're not gonna tell me?
Hey, have you ever considered using sex toys?
You know, I actually brought some with me because some people find it much easier...
Actually, in that case, I've got something to tell you.
-LEO: Oh, yeah? -(SMACKS LIPS) Yes.
Well, go on then.
Well, you know, if you're not gonna tell me anything yourself,
long nights alone...
one's curiosity gets the better of one.
-Does it now? -NANCY: Yes. It does.
I know who you are.
-Sorry? -I know who you are.
I found out who you are in real life.
I don't know what you mean. This is who I am.
No, I mean your real name. I found out your real name.
I was going to tell you earlier, but...
-But? -But I thought it was best to...
To... fuck first?
Well, it was just a minor bit of sleuthing on my part.
You know, on my credit card statement,
there's a... there's a company listed to your website.
And you just go to company's house website,
and you can find the name of the director of the company,
and that's how I found out your name, your real name.
Hang on.
Hold on, what's going on?
No... I... I'll tell you my real name, if you like. I don't mind.
-No, thank you. I'm not interested. -(ZIPPING)
Oh... Well, it's not so bad, is it?
For me to know? I mean we...
-It's not as if we're strangers. -I have boundaries.
I've asked you to respect them.
You haven't, so I'll be going now. Please, don't attempt to book me again.
Oh, come on now. Come on, it's not so bad. I...
-Uh... Forget I mentioned it. -Nope.
Well, I'll still call you Leo.
LEO: You won't be calling me anything because I won't be here.
Okay, Connor.
Don't you call me that.
My name is Leo Grande. You booked Leo Grande.
And you got Leo Grande,
and from what I could tell by the moans and sighs,
you have no complaints with Leo Grande, am I right?
-Yes. -LEO: Good, so we're clear on that.
This is Leo Grande. I made him, and I'm proud of him.
And by the way, Nancy Stokes,
I could find out who you are myself, you know.
How do you think people would react if they knew that their ex-RE teacher
was hiring young men to lick their pussy in a hotel room?
-Oh. -What? Is that a little too real for you?
'Cause that's just what we've been doing, so don't get squeamish now.
I honestly didn't think you'd react like this.
-LEO: What? -Well, I thought you'd be pleased.
-Pleased? -NANCY: Well, I thought
we'd built up a trust, a real trust.
I mean, I was ready to tell you who I am. I thought we could...
maybe con... continue outside of here. Have a coffee or a drink or something.
Why can't we? Why can't we be friends?
I mean, is it because I'm old?
Because old ladies aren't allowed to participate in anything real?
We have to be kept quiet and cosseted until,
oh, until you need our money, and then you'll turn up and do anything?
Look, I know that's how it feels with your kids,
but I have never treated you or thought of you like an old...
NANCY: I thought you were proud of your work.
-Why are you ashamed? -I'm not ashamed.
But you're lying about it. You're hiding yourself and your work.
Even from those closest to you.
You're deluded. You're crazy and deluded.
Well, why can't your mother know the truth if you're so proud? If you're not ashamed?
You know, there's a word for this. It's called cyberstalking.
And nutters do it. Crazy, sad, desperate nutters like you.
Oh, well, I am so sorry that I had the audacity to find out
the true identity of the man
I've been having sex with for the past month.
Why don't you tell me more about your life on the oil rig?
Why... why do you have to lie to me about who you are?
I'm not lying to you, Nancy.
This is my professional name. I provide a service.
A fantasy. And I told you that very clearly.
But all that... all that stuff you said about it being a vocation.
-Is that lies? -No.
NANCY: Well, she would be proud of you, surely. She would.
Why are we talking about my mother?
Uh, I... I could talk to her. I was always very good with the parents.
I could explain it to her. I could make her understand.
No, thank you.
-I think it's important. Let me do it. -I don't need you to do that.
NANCY: Well, let me try.
I think it would be good for you, f... for your life.
Nobody is explaining anything to my mother,
because as far as she's concerned, I'm dead.
-I'm sorry, what? What? What? -LEO: Yeah.
That's what she tells everyone.
There.
Do you feel sexy now?
Feel like that's what you're paying for?
No.
I didn't think so.
Look, Nancy, I'm sorry that your son is so immensely boring
and that your daughter has a more exciting life than you.
You said your kids are like a dead weight around your neck,
so let's not pretend you're exactly "Mother of the Year" yourself, right?
Why would she want you dead?
Why? What did you do to her?
Fuck off, Nancy.
(DOOR CLOSING)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
(DOOR KNOCKING)
-NANCY: It's all right. -(DOOR KNOCKING CONTINUES)
Don't talk to me. I just forgot my phone.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
Oh.
Fuck.
Oh, fuck.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
-Fuck! -(GLASS SHATTERING)
(THUDS)
-Leo, please. Please. -LEO: Fuck!
You wanna know if my mother would be proud of me?
She disowned me.
She left me to fend for myself.
-NANCY: How old were you? -I was 15.
Why? Why did she disown you? What did you do?
(EXHALES SHARPLY) What did I do?
What did I do?
I just disappointed the fuck out of her.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Hello?
No. Yes, no, no, no, it's fine.
It's my friend, he, um... He fell, actually, hurt his knee. Yes.
Absolutely, no. Well, of course, we'll keep it down.
Yes, yes, sorry. Thanks. Bye.
You know, my mother was like you.
She did everything right.
Food on the table, clean clothes in the drawers, all that.
But, um...
(BREATHES HEAVILY) I don't think she ever, ever actually saw me.
(WHIMPERS) Or if she did, she didn't like it.
You know, 'cause she tried to hide her repulsion,
but I could just feel it... (SOBS)
...vibrating through the walls, and... (SNIFFLES)
...I just wasn't what she wanted, what she imagined for herself.
-I'm sorry. -Yeah, well, you can quit judging me.
You know, my life, my work.
You don't actually care about the truth of my life.
You just wanted something...
exotic.
A broken little whore.
And I guess you found him.
Well done, you.
(RAIN PATTERING, THUNDERING)
(INHALES SOFTLY) I'm gonna leave now, Nancy.
You can have a refund of the time.
-(EXHALES SHARPLY) -(KISSES)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)
(SMACKS LIPS, BREATHES HEAVILY)
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
-Can I get you anything? -No, thanks. I'm waiting for someone.
WAITRESS: Okay.
-Can I get you anything? -I said no, then...
Oh, sorry. You're a different one.
-Um, thanks, I'm waiting for someone. -Can I get you anything while you wait?
Nothing, thank you.
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
-Can I get you... -No, thank you. Sorry, thank you, no.
I'm waiting, I will wait. I will wait... (INHALES HEAVILY) ...for my friend.
Oh! You used to teach me!
-Sorry? -Yeah.
Mrs. Robinson, RE.
Oh, keep your voice down a little, would you? (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
What are you doing here then?
Um... Well, I'm... m... m... meeting a friend. Yeah.
Is the parking here so good?
Well, it's certainly better than the coffee. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
I'm Becky Foster. Do you remember me?
Um, no, actually, I...
Funnily enough, I don't. Sorry.
BECKY: Yeah, you used to teach me in year eight.
Did I? I can't have taught you very well, could I?
-Why's that? -NANCY: Because you're working here.
-LEO: Hello. -(SMACKS LIPS) Oh!
Oh. Where did you come from?
-Um... (EXHALES SHARPLY) -This your friend then?
Yeah, well, he's...
-Well... -I'm trying to sell my car.
Um, th... this good lady's interested, so we thought this was a great place
to meet to have a look at it.
Mm-hmm. Because the parking's so good.
Well, it's certainly better than the coffee.
(LAUGHS)
We'll take two of those coffees anyway.
We'll take the risk. Thank you.
(CLEARS THROAT) Shall we sit?
Yeah.
(PHONE RINGING IN DISTANCE)
NANCY: You came.
You booked.
You know, I didn't think you would.
LEO: I wasn't sure I would, either.
But we both know the deal today.
Still, I'm very glad that you decided to come, just to talk.
(GLASS CLATTERING)
Lovely.
Thank you.
(SLURPS)
It's a very powerful thing, sexual fulfillment.
It makes you feel... Well, it made me feel invincible.
I hadn't realized.
(SMACKS LIPS) I wish I'd known sooner, when I was younger.
I'd have made the necessary changes.
-At least you've done it now. -NANCY: Yes, yes.
And, you know, I have felt more alive and more powerful in this last month
than I can ever remember.
I mean, I see my friends... fading away at the edges...
just sort of shriveling up over the years.
And I think...
Actually, you're right, Leo. This should be a public service.
You told a couple of them about me? Your friends?
Yes, I have made recommendations for the great Leo Grande.
I told them you are the Master of the Menopause.
I'll put it on my business card.
I've been very discreet, of course.
I mean, I've only told the ones I thought could really use it.
Need it... You... Need you. (BREATHES HEAVILY)
LEO: Well, I appreciate that.
Mm.
(SMACKS LIPS) Uh...
Leo, my name, my real name is Susan Robinson.
-It's such a boring name, isn't it? -Mrs. Robinson. Hmm.
-That's cute. -(INHALES SOFTLY)
I've never done anything interesting or remarkable in my life.
Um, this is it.
You know, I always obeyed all the rules, fell in line.
Never drank too much. Never overshadowed my husband at parties.
You know, I was always the designated driver.
I ate my five-a-day, even before they were called "five-a-day."
And I always, always answer my phone when it rings.
You are the only adventure I've ever had.
The only freedom. And... (INHALES SHARPLY)
...I wanted it to be real.
I wasn't thinking about it properly.
I was mad with some fever...
lust, whatever.
It made me mad.
I never... I've never...
I'm sorry, Leo.
I'm sorry.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
That's it?
NANCY: Mm. That's it. I just wanted to see you.
To see you were all right.
Tell you what you've done for me.
To thank you. And to say good-bye.
BECKY: Everything okay here, Mrs. Robinson?
NANCY: Yes, um, thank you. We're just wrapping up here now.
Mrs. Robinson used to teach me RE at school.
-Oh, yeah? -(SMACKS LIPS) Thank you, Becky.
-BECKY: Yes. -Was she a good teacher?
She was all right.
A bit uptight. Not as bad as some of the others.
-Uh-huh? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) -Yeah.
(INHALES SHARPLY) Except for this one time...
Thank you, Becky, for that glowing report.
She got all us girls together for a special assembly.
-NANCY: Becky. -No, no, go on.
And she told us we were all sluts.
NANCY: I don't think that's quite what happened, Becky.
Yeah, she said girls should look respectable,
or we would go around tempting the men and get ourselves into trouble.
She said if we looked like sluts, we'd be treated like sluts.
Well, it was to do with the length of their skirts, mostly,
which had just gotten out of control by then.
Said if we spent as much time on our studies as we did on our hair,
-we'd all be a lot better off. -Well, actually, I do... I stand by that.
-I stand by that. -"Concupiscence."
Always remember that, too. She used to make us say it...
said she liked the sound of it. I do too.
Well, I'm glad to hear it. It's a good word.
What does it mean?
-Lustful desire. -Lustful desire.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Well, well. Now, you're talking.
Mm. Yes. St. Augustine of Hippo
coined the term in his doctrine of original sin.
He believed that it underpins all the suffering and sins in the world.
So, Becky, could we please have that bill?
Well, I don't think I can go along with that,
cause it doesn't make any "concupi-sense" to me at all.
-(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) -(LEO CHUCKLING SOFTLY)
-Longest word I know. -(SMACKS LIPS) The bill, please, Becky!
My legacy. As an educator.
"Concupiscence."
It is a good word. It's a new one on me.
Oh, well, I'm glad to have found one you didn't know.
I was hoping I would.
You know, I told my brother about what I do.
What did he say?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) He was surprised to hear me say it out loud.
But, uh, he guessed I made money with something like this.
He, uh, said he kind of already knew.
And he never believed the oil rig stories.
(CHUCKLES)
He said Mom would never talk about me...
about what she saw, about what happened.
(EXHALES DEEPLY) Guess I was a bit wild for my mom.
A lot for her to handle.
There was this, uh, one night... (CHUCKLING)
...back when I thought she was gone out for the weekend.
Um, but I was wrong, um...
(SMACKS LIPS) I had some friends over to hang out after exams.
We put on some music, drank some wine.
Next thing I know, she and a neighbor are walking in on me and my friends,
and we're all... bodies wrapped up together, a bit of everything going on...
(INHALES DEEPLY) Um...
exploring each other.
And I’ll never forget her face.
Just humiliated.
So ashamed.
You know, we tried for weeks after to patch things up, but, um...
her disgust was just all over her. I...
I had to leave.
She, um, said she was glad I was going
and that she would never speak my name again.
And from that point on, she told everyone that that was the day her son had died.
(NANCY GRUNTING)
But surely, surely,
-time's a great healer... -Healer? Yeah. (CHUCKLES)
No, Nancy, she... she meant it.
Uh...
I even saw her a couple of years ago in the street.
And she just... She walked straight past me.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Yeah. Just cold.
Would you do that to your own son?
Oh... Only 'cause he's so unremarkable, I might not notice him.
(EXHALES HEAVILY)
I should probably stop saying things like that about him.
Yeah, you probably should.
NANCY: No, he's a good boy and I'm very lucky to have him.
She was wrong, your mother.
There is nothing...
disgusting or disappointing about you.
Thank you, Becky.
Becky, could you wait a moment?
Becky, I would like to apologize to you.
-What? -Yes, I owe you an apology.
For calling you a slut. That was wrong.
That was not a word or idea
I should have used with a group of impressionable teenage girls.
I thought I was doing the right thing at the time...
trying to protect you...
but now...
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) ...but now, I... (BREATHES HEAVILY)
Becky, I am not here to buy this man's car.
-Okay. -This is Leo Grande and he is... a...
-I'm a sex worker. -Yes, yes.
And we have been meeting for sex regularly for the past few weeks.
-LEO: That's right. -That's right. That's right.
And... (CLEARS THROAT) ...I recommend him highly.
'Cause apart from anything else, he is an absolute marvel with his tongue.
And, um, Becky, you may already know this, I hope you do,
but pleasure is a wonderful thing.
It's something we should all have.
(SMACKS LIPS) Um...
Becky, if you'll excuse us, I have a room booked upstairs
and Leo and I need to get going if we want to fit a session in...
in... in... the remaining time 'cause, um...
(CLEARS THROAT) ...there's a couple of things I'd like to try.
(CHUCKLES)
It was great to meet you, Becky.
Um, I hope maybe we’ll run into each other again sometime.
Just keep the change.
(GASPS) Oh!
(MOANS, CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
LEO: Take those off, Mrs. Stokes.
(GASPS) Oh! (LAUGHS)
(MOANS)
I can't... I can't balance like this.
-I can't balance. -Okay.
-(NANCY MOANING) -LEO: Okay.
(MOANS)
(LEO PANTS)
(LEO MOANING)
(PANTS)
(GRUNTS)
(BOTH PANT)
-Did you? -Stop asking.
-Okay. -You’re fixated.
-I think you should drop it. -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(BREATHES HEAVILY) I know, I know. I just...
There's no pressure, of course. I was just hoping.
Maybe all the others are faking.
-Have you ever thought of that? -(CHUCKLES)
Ah!
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
-No. -I'm joking.
We'll try one more time. Just for fun.
Oh. Okay, if you must.
-Close your eyes. -(NANCY CHUCKLING)
(KISSES)
-(INHALES HEAVILY) -LEO: Hang on.
I brought something with me that you might like to try.
Oh, you know what? Leo, I don't think I can.
I... I... (CHUCKLING) ...I think I'm done.
(UNLATCHING)
(DRINK POURING)
(SLURPS)
I thought I'd brought the little buzzer.
-That usually works. -(GASPS)
(GROANS SOFTLY)
-(MOANS) -LEO: Uh-huh.
-Here it is. -(VIBRATOR BUZZING)
-Mm. -LEO: Was that?
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
Leo, I think this should be the last time we meet.
I'm glad you booked me.
NANCY: I'm glad you came.
I'm glad you came.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Right?
I'm a very satisfied customer, put it like that.
I should be ticking the big green smiley face on the feedback form.
Okay.
Well...
Goodbye then, Leo Grande.
And good luck to you.
Good luck to you.
Take care, Nancy.
(DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)
-(INDISTINCT CHATTER) -(VEHICLES REVVING)
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
I, I guess I'm frustrated
Thinking about all the places I should have been by now
And I'm endlessly waitin'
Feel like a barrel of dynamite Waitin' for flame to come 'round
I need a little spark A light in bitter dark
I think I'm ready to go, I think I'm ready
And I'm at the edge of the cliff
So let's begin
I think I'm ready to go, I think I'm ready
I'm ready to begin again