1 00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,400 (BELL DINGS) 2 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:11,080 We all set for 11am, mate? 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:12,880 Mud cake's in the fridge, ready to go. 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:14,240 I think you should hide in the cupboard. 5 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:15,800 Make sure she doesn't see you. 6 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,800 That's a great idea. Maybe 10 minutes before? 7 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,600 Why don't I be really safe and get in there now? 8 00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:22,240 It's too early. It's 9:30. Right. 9 00:00:22,240 --> 00:00:23,720 Too early for Sip&Crunch? I need to focus. 10 00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:25,000 It's too early. 11 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:27,320 I'm gonna have a sausage roll, just to settle my tum. 12 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:37,640 (BELL DINGS) 13 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:41,360 GEORGE: 10am, you got the Copeland Menace. 14 00:00:41,360 --> 00:00:44,000 What'd you take that appointment for? I'm scared of her. 15 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,360 Just back-to-back clients all morning. 16 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:47,280 But I've left a bit of a gap at around 11. 17 00:00:47,280 --> 00:00:49,360 Oh, good. I'll have second breakfast. Or maybe first lunch. 18 00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:52,360 Don't fill it. It's a gap. If you fill it, it's not a gap anymore. 19 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:54,600 (DOOR OPENS) OK. Morning, Roz! 20 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,640 Oh! Got yourself a little breakfast Coke there. 21 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:57,760 That's a healthy start to the day. 22 00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,560 Uh, no, no, no. It's not a Coke. 23 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,120 It is a delicious cola beverage. 24 00:01:02,120 --> 00:01:04,480 Energy in a can! 25 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:05,960 Would you like a sip? 26 00:01:05,960 --> 00:01:06,960 Uh, no. Bit early for me. 27 00:01:06,960 --> 00:01:08,520 ROZ: OK. Georgie. 28 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:10,720 Would you like one for your little Sip&Crunch? 29 00:01:10,720 --> 00:01:11,720 HELEN: Oh, my God. 30 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:13,120 She's got handbag Coke as well. 31 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,560 No, thank you. 32 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,400 May I have my diary, please and thank you? 33 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:20,440 Roz? 34 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,280 Mm-hm? Is your dress on inside out? 35 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,360 What? No. Is it? 36 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,400 Oh! (LAUGHS) 37 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,840 Who cares? 38 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,000 Is she drunk? I don't know. 39 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,640 I might get Ray to keep an eye on her. 40 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,120 Leave Ray out of this. I don't want him distracted today. 41 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,040 Alright. 42 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,200 You're touchy today. 43 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:40,840 (BELL DINGS) 44 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,160 $9,000! How is that possible? 45 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,720 The estate was worth 200,000. 46 00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:47,720 I'm sorry for your loss, but I did advise you not to go to court, 47 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,840 and I know Roz told you exactly the same thing 48 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,040 way back when she was handling the matter. 49 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,320 But I won. Yes. 50 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:56,240 So you get what's left of the estate after expenses. 51 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,320 This is unbelievable! It's all accounted for in there. 52 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,800 Everything from barrister's fees right down to the last paperclip. 53 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:02,360 After two years? 54 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,600 This is all I get? No. You also got your day in court. 55 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,080 So I hope it was worth it. 56 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,600 This is bullshit. I'm gonna sue YOU. Oh, that's a great idea. 57 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:11,080 'Cause going to court seems to work out so well for you. 58 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:13,320 Whatever. You're bullshit. OK. 59 00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:14,320 Bullshit. Yep. 60 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:15,360 It's all bullshit. Alright. 61 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:17,080 Do you want to take your folder of bullshit? 62 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:19,480 No? I'll keep that, will I? 63 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:20,480 Thank you for coming. 64 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:22,320 RAY: Fisk. Yes? 65 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:24,480 Big announcement. Meeting room 11am. Ray, I'm really busy. 66 00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:25,640 Can you just tell me now? 67 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:29,280 On the other hand, I'm a big fan of close-up magic, so... 68 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,920 ..I'll be there. 69 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,120 Oh, there's gonna be magic alright, mate. 70 00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:34,600 HELEN: Is there? 71 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:37,240 There's gonna be something. 72 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,160 So, Anne, this is your grandmother's will? 73 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:44,480 Yeah. Loved her so much. Yeah. 74 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:47,200 And what's your question? Yeah. My brother's the executor. 75 00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:50,720 His solicitor is saying that this bit at the bottom here isn't valid. 76 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,400 Right? And I want a second opinion on that. 77 00:02:52,400 --> 00:02:53,400 OK. 78 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,200 Are we talking about this bit here written in biro, that says 79 00:02:56,200 --> 00:03:00,120 "PS - I also want to leave my darling granddaughter Anne $50,000 80 00:03:00,120 --> 00:03:01,920 "because she was my favourite"? 81 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,880 We used to hold hands and sing to each other. 82 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,520 Did you? She loved it. 83 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,360 # Oh, Danny boy 84 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:14,080 # The pipes, the pipes are calling. # 85 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:15,080 Very nice. What do we... 86 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:17,600 # From glen to glen 87 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:21,240 # And round and round the bend... # 88 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:23,240 Mmm. Did your own version. That's good. 89 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:24,800 So, what do we actually think happened here? 90 00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:28,760 I guess she remembered and then quickly got a biro 91 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,000 and wrote that in there on the will or something. 92 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,400 Yeah, or something. 93 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:33,680 (KNOCKS) Yeah. 94 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,680 Yes, Roz? (DOOR OPENS) 95 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:36,120 Helen, do you have a minute? 96 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,840 Uh, no - I'm a bit busy trying to work out what to do 97 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,680 when someone writes on a will in biro. 98 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,200 'Someone'?! Obviously Grandma. 99 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:43,920 Yeah, I might have a hard time proving that. 100 00:03:43,920 --> 00:03:47,960 It's quite urgent, Helen. Sorry. Do you mind? 101 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,200 ANNE: This better not be on the clock. 102 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,640 I'll stop the clock. There we go. 103 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,880 Can I grab a cup of tea or something? 104 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,080 Yes. 105 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:55,720 Four shugs. 106 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,840 What?! Fine. Whatever. 107 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:58,920 Roz. Mmm. 108 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:00,640 You haven't turned your dress right-side out. 109 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:03,680 Oh, I can't be bothered. What's up? 110 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,360 Well... (SIGHS) ..I've been thinking about my life. 111 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,400 I thought you said this was urgent. What am I doing with my life? 112 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:11,640 Roz, I've got a client in there who shouldn't be left alone with a will 113 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:13,480 when there's a biro in reach. 114 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,640 Am I working to live? Am I living to work? 115 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:16,640 I don't know. 116 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:18,520 # Am I working to live? Am I living to... # 117 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:19,640 That's a great lyric, actually. 118 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:22,080 I'm just going to get that before it leaves me. 119 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:23,480 OK. Are we done? 120 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,240 'Cause I'm gonna get back in there 121 00:04:25,240 --> 00:04:28,600 and tell old Catch Me If We Can Anne that she's committed forgery. 122 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,000 Oh, no. You go. Yes. Look, it's not urgent. 123 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,080 It's not urgent? No. 124 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:32,080 Or it IS urgent? 125 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,160 I'm getting whiplash, Roz. 126 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,760 Are you alright? Put a pin in it. 127 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:37,880 And we'll talk about it over lunch. 128 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,720 Lunch? What? No, thank... 129 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:42,640 Where are your shoes? 130 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:43,840 (MUTTERS) 131 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:46,400 Where's me cup of tea? 132 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,360 I forgot your tea. Thank you. 133 00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:51,160 Four shugs. Yes! 134 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,040 I'm sorry. 135 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:55,200 That's bullshit. Can't help you. 136 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:56,200 Let's... Oh! 137 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,640 Grab your shopper. 138 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,200 No-one's ever gonna believe that your grandma wrote that. 139 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,520 But if you're my lawyer, you're supposed to be on MY side. 140 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:06,320 I'm not gonna BE your lawyer, 'cause I can't help you. 141 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,120 (SIGHS) Unbelievable! 142 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,120 I'm not paying for this visit. 143 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,960 You ARE paying for this visit. It wasn't a freebie. 144 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:14,160 (SIGHS) This is bullshit! 145 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,520 (DOOR OPENS) 146 00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,240 (DOOR SLAMS) Make sure you send her an invoice. 147 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:19,320 And don't let her back in the building. 148 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,080 Oh, by the way, definitely something wrong with Roz. 149 00:05:21,080 --> 00:05:23,400 I don't have time for Roz's shenanigans. It's nearly 11. 150 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,160 Get in the meeting room. 151 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:26,160 Jeez. Bossy. Now! 152 00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,760 OK! 153 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,480 It's 11 o'clock. I'm on time. 154 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:32,520 Oh, look out. Here comes Malfunctioning Cyborg Roz. 155 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:35,800 Oh, Roz. You've turned your dress right-side out. Well done. 156 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,040 Well, apparently, it's a big announcement. Where is Ray? 157 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:39,520 Last I saw, he was in the photocopy cupboard. 158 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:40,800 Shh! Helen. No spoilers. 159 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:41,880 What am I spoiling? (DOOR OPENS) 160 00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,480 (SIGHS) I need a cup of tea. (DOOR CLOSES) 161 00:05:44,480 --> 00:05:46,520 HELEN: Why is Meli here? 162 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,880 Ca-caw! Hey! 163 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:52,200 (WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN PLAYS ON SOUND SYSTEM) 164 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,680 Where's Ray? He said it was urgent. 165 00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:55,840 Alright, lover boy. 166 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,040 You're on. 167 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,000 (WE'VE ONLY JUST BEGUN CONTINUES) 168 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000 Can you hear that? 169 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,840 Obviously yes. 170 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:03,680 HELEN: Oh. Hello. SONG: # We've only just begun... # 171 00:06:03,680 --> 00:06:05,560 It's magic time. You bet it is. 172 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,560 SONG: # To live... # 173 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:10,200 Oh, no. 174 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,040 Is he on two knees? SONG: # White lace and promises... # 175 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:14,920 Melissa Barbara Jean Marner. 176 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:17,560 You came into my life not six months ago... 177 00:06:17,560 --> 00:06:18,720 No. And it... 178 00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:21,000 Hang on. I haven't... No, no, no, no, no. 179 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,480 I haven't said what I'm... No. Absolutely not. 180 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,880 RAY: But I... MELISSA: Not like this. Up. 181 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:27,720 And...turn that music off! 182 00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,040 Sorry. I was just getting tea. (SONG STOPS) 183 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:32,240 Now, what have I missed? 184 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,480 Oh. Why are you in fancy dress? 185 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,800 Because he was about to propose to me. 186 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,960 In front of all of us? 187 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,600 Exactly! Well, yes. 188 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,040 Because this is my family. 189 00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:43,880 I wanted to share the most important moment of my life 190 00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:45,760 with my beautiful sister. 191 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,840 And with George, who's like a son to me, 192 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,240 and with Fisk, who's like... 193 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,480 ..that weird cousin everybody has. 194 00:06:51,480 --> 00:06:55,160 But what about MY family? This is MY moment too, Raymond. 195 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:56,920 And maybe I don't want your weird cousin 196 00:06:56,920 --> 00:06:58,800 at the most important moment of my life. 197 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:00,200 No offence, Helen. Yeah. All good. 198 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,520 But I am gonna go, I think. MELISSA: No need. 199 00:07:02,520 --> 00:07:04,760 I'm leaving. 200 00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:07,480 (DOOR OPENS) 201 00:07:07,480 --> 00:07:09,880 (DOOR CLOSES) Ray, I'm so sorry for your loss. 202 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:11,840 Should I put the champagne back in the fridge or...? 203 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,120 Throw it in the bin, mate. Along with my heart. 204 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:18,520 # White lace and promises... # 205 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:19,560 Mmm. 206 00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:23,760 # A kiss for luck and we're on our way... # (SNAPS FINGERS) 207 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:24,760 RAY: Rozzie. 208 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,680 Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm. RAY: Roz! 209 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:28,000 Did you see ANY of this? 210 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,800 It's terrible. 211 00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,760 HELEN: Offer him some cake. 212 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,800 Cake? 213 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,520 (BELL DINGS) 214 00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:44,800 Yeah, I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm looking at here. 215 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:48,040 I'm a poet, so I wanted to make my will a piece of art. 216 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:49,040 Oh, it's art. Yeah. 217 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,960 Well, I thought doing it as a poem would help my loved ones, uh, 218 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:55,360 cope with the tedium of grief. 219 00:07:55,360 --> 00:07:56,800 Mm-hm. Tedium of Grief. 220 00:07:56,800 --> 00:07:57,880 That's a great title. OK. 221 00:07:57,880 --> 00:08:00,040 Let me tell you the problem with art. 222 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:03,160 You know how some people look at a Picasso and see a masterpiece 223 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:05,240 and other people, like me, 224 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,440 see a tragically disfigured woman with a nose on her forehead 225 00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,480 and a big old bonkle eye? 226 00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,480 That is because art means different things to different people. 227 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:13,840 For example, 228 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,520 this line here that you've got, hm? 229 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:18,280 "Scatter, gold coins, 230 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:23,760 "scatter and land in the laps of those I love, so grand." 231 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:25,160 Yeah. OK. So the gold coins. 232 00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:28,680 Do you have a coin collection or some pirate's treasure? What? 233 00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:31,760 No, that's just one's fortune in general. 234 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,920 Oh. In general. OK. 235 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:35,400 And "those I love"? 236 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:37,160 My family. But specifically? 237 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,320 Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews? 238 00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:41,400 Are you including weird cousins? No. 239 00:08:41,400 --> 00:08:45,200 But I did want my will to be a beautiful legacy, 240 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,840 not a page of dry, clinical legalese. 241 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,160 Oh, see, I love dry, clinical legalese. 242 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,160 So I'll tell you what. 243 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,680 How about I do you a dry, clinical version, 244 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:57,960 and then we'll include your poem as a letter of wishes? 245 00:08:57,960 --> 00:08:58,960 A letter of wishes? Yeah. 246 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,240 I like the sound of that. That's very poetic. 247 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,920 Oh, good. OK. Well. 248 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,760 Let's do it your way. You are the expert. 249 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,760 Oh. Thank you. 250 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,480 What a lovely thing to say. 251 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:08,480 Didn't think it was bullshit? 252 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,960 No, not at all. 253 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,160 I really enjoyed that. 254 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:14,040 Got my brain buzzing and the ideas flowing. 255 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,320 Sun's shining. The breeze is blowing. 256 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:16,720 Now I'm doing it. Yes. Yeah. 257 00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,320 It's fun. It's great, see? 258 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:20,200 I actually quite like this bit. 259 00:09:20,200 --> 00:09:21,200 MAN: Ah, yes. 260 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:22,200 (BELL DINGS) 261 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:27,040 (SIGHS) Oh, God. 262 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:29,040 I'm never gonna love again. 263 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:32,960 (SIGHS) 264 00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:35,040 Was it the tuxedo? Was it too much? 265 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,480 GEORGE: Yeah, maybe. 266 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,920 She might have felt underdressed by comparison. 267 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:39,920 (SIGHS) 268 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:41,600 I guess we'll never know. 269 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,560 How come? Because it's all over, mate. 270 00:09:44,560 --> 00:09:47,200 Time to bust out the red wine and Evanescence. 271 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,880 (PHONE BUZZES) Oh, shit! That's her. 272 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,120 She's calling me. 273 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,960 What should I do? 274 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,480 Answer it. Can't answer it! 275 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:55,240 I'm still wearing the tuxedo. 276 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,560 She doesn't know that. She'll sense it. 277 00:09:56,560 --> 00:09:58,800 She's a fashion psychic. Please. You take it. 278 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,560 No, I think that would be weird. (PHONE BUZZES) 279 00:10:00,560 --> 00:10:02,720 (BUZZING STOPS) (SIGHS) Thank God. She's stopped. 280 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:03,880 Yeah, that was close. 281 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:07,080 Alright. (SIGHS) 282 00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:10,080 You a... (SIGHS) ..shiraz man or a... 283 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,960 ..or a pinot fan? 284 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,040 (DRAWER OPENS) 285 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:17,600 (BOTTLES CLINK) 286 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,040 (SIGHS) 287 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,360 Porque no los dos? 288 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:21,520 Yep. 289 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,080 (SIGHS AND MUMBLES) 290 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,840 Yeah. 291 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,160 (SINGS TO RECORDING) # Wake me up # Wake me up inside 292 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,160 # Can't wake up 293 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,440 # Wake me up inside 294 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:35,160 # Call my name and save me from the... # 295 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,360 Fisk. Glass of red? 296 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,320 What is going on? We're processing the grief. 297 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,200 I feel partly responsible for this morning's disaster. 298 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,800 I lost the love of my life, Fisk. It's over. 299 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,440 OK. You need to get back to reception. 300 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,920 I'm helping Ray sit in his feelings. 301 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:49,960 You're being an enabler. 302 00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:52,000 Oh, God. You're right. 303 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,880 HELEN: Come on. 304 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,280 Sorry, Helen. 305 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:56,480 Get it together, Ray. 306 00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:00,720 Grab me some dumplings, buddy. I need to eat the grief away. 307 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,640 Do not get him any dumplings. 308 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,000 Euch! 309 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,760 No-one needs to see that. (DOOR CLOSES) 310 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:09,440 Hey, Roz? 311 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,560 I don't suppose YOU know anything about mutual will agreements. 312 00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,480 Um...have a look at the Nylander file. 313 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:17,640 I'm pretty sure they did one. Oh, excellent. Thanks, Roz. 314 00:11:17,640 --> 00:11:20,200 Glad to see YOU'RE back to normal. What's that? 315 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,960 You were a bit out of sorts this morning, 316 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,120 with your inside-out dress, breakfast Coke, 317 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,000 "Energy in a can!" 318 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,480 Running round with no shoes on. 319 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,960 And then you went full Cookie Monster on that mud cake. Rrah! 320 00:11:29,960 --> 00:11:31,520 I didn't know WHO you were. 321 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,800 No, no. It's all fine. 322 00:11:32,800 --> 00:11:34,480 Hang on. 323 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,040 Real Roz would never leave a tea bag in the sink. 324 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,680 You must be Impostor Roz. 325 00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:38,920 Oh, shut up! Oh. 326 00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,200 OK. Whiplash. 327 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,200 God. 328 00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,520 Oh, well, I like them all, Sterling. I mean, how do people choose? 329 00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:54,120 Oh, good. You've all gone mental here as well. 330 00:11:54,120 --> 00:11:55,320 What is going on here? 331 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,520 Are we...making cheese? 332 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,600 Helen, this is Sterling Knickerbocker. 333 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:01,440 From the Knickerbocker cheese factory? 334 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:04,640 From White Feather Funerals. We're planning Tony's last hurrah. 335 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:06,640 STERLING: Come, join us, 336 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,240 as we plan your father's journey into the next realm. 337 00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:10,920 Oh. Hang on. 338 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,880 Dad, have you had bad news? 339 00:12:12,880 --> 00:12:14,800 No. We've been watching The Crown. Oh, again? 340 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,960 And I was inspired by Prince Philip planning his own funeral. 341 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:21,560 Planning ahead is the greatest gift we can give to those left behind. 342 00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,360 Uh, these are a few of our prepaid packages. 343 00:12:24,360 --> 00:12:25,960 Really? Burial at sea? 344 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:28,160 That's our Swim to Jesus. 345 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,200 Or the secular version, Swim with the Fishes. 346 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:34,120 You're not doing that, Dad. I won't watch you turned into human chum. 347 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,920 Uh, well, we have the traditional Blaze of Glory package 348 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,240 or the eco-friendly Compostable You option. 349 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:43,400 Oh, great. Let's just put you out in the green bin, hey, Dad? 350 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,600 Oh! For heaven's sake. STERLING: (LAUGHS) Of course! 351 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:48,960 We encourage everyone to tailor-make their own festival of grief. 352 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,480 See, this is why you weren't invited. 353 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:51,720 Can we please get back to the service? 354 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:53,480 STERLING: Of course. Forgive me. Thank you. 355 00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:54,480 We were talking about tone 356 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:57,040 and whether we go sombre and spiritual... 357 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,880 Mmm. ..or more joyful and fun. 358 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,080 Oh, definitely sombre and spiritual. Definitely joyful and fun. 359 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:04,560 Something to think about there. 360 00:13:04,560 --> 00:13:07,760 In fact, we had a rather fun one just last week. Allow me. 361 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:09,440 Funeral? 362 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,240 STERLING: (ON VIDEO) Are y'all ready for this? 363 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:12,960 (UPBEAT MUSIC) VIKTOR: Mmm. 364 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,240 HELEN: Oh. 365 00:13:14,240 --> 00:13:15,520 (AUDIO FEEDBACK WHINES) 366 00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,400 Oh. 367 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:18,920 Is that you? Oh, yes. 368 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,280 Mick Jagger meets... 369 00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:22,000 # Yeah... # ..Billy Graham. 370 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,240 Oh. OK. 371 00:13:23,240 --> 00:13:24,240 Emcee. (LAUGHS) 372 00:13:24,240 --> 00:13:25,280 # Yeah! # Master of ceremonies. 373 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:26,880 Whoo! # Yeah! # 374 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:28,160 Having a lot of fun with it. 375 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,680 Oh. She's giving it a hammering, isn't she? 376 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:33,720 Going to town. (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 377 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,720 Sorry, this is a funeral? Mmm. 378 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,480 A celebration of a life. 379 00:13:37,480 --> 00:13:38,800 I quite like that. 380 00:13:38,800 --> 00:13:40,400 Yes, but you won't be there, Tony. 381 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:41,640 This is about what I need. 382 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,400 And I do not need call-and-response work. 383 00:13:43,400 --> 00:13:45,520 I'll be grieving. STERLING: Of course you will. 384 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,800 Grief is such a personal thing. 385 00:13:47,800 --> 00:13:49,880 OTHERS: Mmm. It is. 386 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,800 And do we have any cheese, Dad? 387 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,680 I'm still quite hungry every time I look at him. (LAUGHS) 388 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:56,840 Oh, Helen. 389 00:13:57,840 --> 00:13:59,640 (BELL DINGS) 390 00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,080 HELEN: Morning, webmaster. Hey, Helen. 391 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:05,520 You need to talk to Roz. 392 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:06,760 She's really wigging out. 393 00:14:06,760 --> 00:14:08,960 Oh. Still?! 394 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,680 What's she done now? She said she had perfect pitch. 395 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:12,400 That's normal. She's always banging on about that. 396 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,680 But she tried to prove it by doing an impression of the microwave. 397 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:16,680 What? 398 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:19,520 (FALSETTO) # "Beep, beep, beep That's F sharp, George." # 399 00:14:19,520 --> 00:14:20,640 Oh, come on. 400 00:14:20,640 --> 00:14:23,320 Oh, my God! Did you sleep here? 401 00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:24,960 What do you care? 402 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,280 No-one cares. Oh. 403 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,040 Uh-uh! George. No. 404 00:14:29,040 --> 00:14:30,480 No more enabling. 405 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,360 Think a bit of controlled crying is what's in order here. 406 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:33,760 (DOORKNOB RATTLES) RAY: Why? 407 00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:36,680 Why is it always locked?! 408 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:37,800 Why?! 409 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:39,240 Rozalind! 410 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,440 The key! 411 00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:42,760 Please! 412 00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,880 OK, well, I'll just get you to go and see... 413 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,040 Oh, Jesus. 414 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,080 Go and see George and he'll sort out the paperwork. 415 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,360 I didn't get him the dumplings, Helen, I promise. 416 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:55,360 I Uber-Eatsed them. 417 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:58,560 They're cold and sad, like the state of my heart. 418 00:14:58,560 --> 00:14:59,880 Get in my office. 419 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,200 Now. 420 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,920 Did you want one? No. Sit down. 421 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,240 (SIGHS) 422 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,920 (SIGHS) Not there. 423 00:15:05,920 --> 00:15:07,560 Oh, Ray. Oh. 424 00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:09,840 God! Yes, I get it. 425 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:11,480 Your heart hurts. Oh, no, Fisk. 426 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:12,520 It's my actual heart. 427 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,000 What? Oh, God. Oh, Ray. Oh, God. 428 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,360 I need my meds. Oh, Ray, what do I do? 429 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,880 Should I get Roz? Oh... Don't get Roz! Jeez! 430 00:15:17,880 --> 00:15:19,520 They're in my pocket. They're in my back pocket. 431 00:15:19,520 --> 00:15:20,720 Oh, God. Oh. God, I'm sorry. 432 00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,280 Ah! Quickly. Oh, Jesus. 433 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,040 Oh, are you kidding me? Oh! 434 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,360 Heartburn? Oh, yeah. 435 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,160 Ray, I thought you were having an actual heart attack. 436 00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:29,280 Oh, I might as well be. 437 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,280 She dumped me. I lost the love of my life. 438 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:32,400 (SIGHS) I'm gonna take ALL these. 439 00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:34,560 Every one of 'em. Oh, you idiot. 440 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:36,280 You can't overdose on indigestion tablets. 441 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:37,440 Oh, God. You're right. 442 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:39,720 Have you got any heroin? 443 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,240 Oh, that's enough. 444 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,000 Sit up. I can't. 445 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,480 Thank you. Listen to me. 446 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:47,800 You realise she didn't actually say no? 447 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,440 All she said was "Not like this, and not in front of your weird cousin." 448 00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:52,440 What do you mean? 449 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,040 I mean, yes, you made a complete tit of yourself, 450 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,520 but it doesn't mean it's over. 451 00:15:55,520 --> 00:15:57,200 Just...come on. Man up! 452 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,000 What would Omo Man do? 453 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,560 Sue her for defamation. 454 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,800 No! He would go and talk to her and clean this mess up. 455 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,800 Now, come on. 456 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,720 (SIGHS) 457 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:09,880 And...lose the tuxedo. 458 00:16:09,880 --> 00:16:12,320 No-one wants to marry Gopher from The Love Boat. 459 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,800 Fair call. (SIGHS) 460 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,280 That's one down. 461 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,520 I'm gonna go sort the other one out. 462 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,920 ROZ: So you won't take the review down? 463 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:26,640 What if I offered you a little compensation? 464 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:27,920 I don't know. 465 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,720 Let's say $20. 466 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:31,440 Hello? 467 00:16:31,440 --> 00:16:32,240 (SIGHS) 468 00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,040 Roz? Yes, Helen. 469 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:36,280 Can I come in? Are we good? 470 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:37,480 Yes. Of course. 471 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:38,960 Roz, just remember yesterday in the kitchen 472 00:16:38,960 --> 00:16:40,720 and you told me to shut up? 473 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:41,760 Did I? 474 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,160 OK. Look. 475 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:45,360 (SIGHS) 476 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,120 I was wondering if 477 00:16:47,120 --> 00:16:49,680 we shouldn't give Dr Dubas a call. 478 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,680 You just seem a little bit...un-Roz. 479 00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,800 Oh, no, no, no. I'm fine. Yeah. 480 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,240 It's nothing a cheeky glass of wine with a gal pal won't fix. 481 00:16:57,240 --> 00:16:59,080 OK. Well, if you're sure. 482 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:00,560 How about tonight? For what? 483 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,320 A night out. Where shall we go? 484 00:17:02,320 --> 00:17:03,720 Who? Us. 485 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:05,960 You and me? Yes! Why not? 486 00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,200 I think I'm gonna work late tonight. Oh. 487 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,240 Understood. Busy. Busy, busy like a bee. 488 00:17:10,240 --> 00:17:11,240 Yes, I am. Bzz-bzz. 489 00:17:11,240 --> 00:17:13,840 Maybe I'll bring the party to YOU. Oh. 490 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:15,720 Maybe. (PICKS UP PHONE) 491 00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:21,120 Yes, hello. I'm just calling about a Google review. 492 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:23,760 (BELL DINGS) 493 00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:25,920 Did you talk to Roz? Yes. 494 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,840 We really need Ray to talk to her, but he's no use to anyone. 495 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,480 He's lost his goddamn mind as well! 496 00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:31,480 What even was that yesterday? 497 00:17:31,480 --> 00:17:32,960 Tuxedo. 498 00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:33,960 Hiding in a cupboard. 499 00:17:33,960 --> 00:17:35,960 Proposing in a meeting room with vertical blinds? 500 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,400 What an absolute car crash. 501 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:39,840 A lot of it was my idea. 502 00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,160 What? I egged him on. 503 00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,760 Selfish. Selfish? 504 00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:45,080 Yeah. I got too invested. I wanted to be the best man. 505 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,840 And you will be. It's not over yet. 506 00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:50,480 I just spoke to Meli, told her we need to talk. 507 00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:51,640 HELEN: Oh, well done, Ray. 508 00:17:51,640 --> 00:17:52,640 That's very grown-up of you. 509 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,480 And this, much better look. 510 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,640 You bet. I'm off to rewrite the ending of this love story. 511 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:58,680 (GEORGE CLAPS) 512 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:00,400 Way to go, Ray. HELEN: Way to go, Ray. 513 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,400 Credit to you, Fisk. 514 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,120 That was quite the motivational speech you gave me. 515 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:04,440 Oh, seriously? Yes. 516 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:07,480 And I'm also still a bit drunk. 517 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,600 Call me a cab, Georgie. 518 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,520 ROZ: Cooee! 519 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,360 Got a minute for a friend? 520 00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,800 (LAUGHS) It's four o'clock, Roz. 521 00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:22,000 Already? Well, I won't lie to you. 522 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,400 I have started early. 523 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,400 Haven't had any clients all day. 524 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,880 Anyway. Here's cheers! 525 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,040 Cheers, Roz. (GLASSES CLINK) 526 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,360 Mmm! 527 00:18:30,360 --> 00:18:31,360 Mmm. Ooh. 528 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:32,880 So... 529 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,840 Yummy. I've been reading my Google reviews. 530 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:39,520 I don't think people like me, Helen. 531 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:41,360 Wow. Mmm. 532 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,560 Just don't read them, Roz. 533 00:18:43,560 --> 00:18:45,240 "We paid a fortune 534 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:49,080 "to listen to this clown drone on about pyramids and circles." 535 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,040 Well, you're not a clown. You just wear red lipstick. So... 536 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:53,640 "Solved nothing. Waste of money. Avoid. 537 00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:56,600 "Also, base camp is at the bottom, you moron." 538 00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:57,600 (SCOFFS) Rude. 539 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:01,240 "I only gave one star because zero stars was not an option"? 540 00:19:01,240 --> 00:19:03,720 Well, that's unoriginal. I've heard that before. So don't listen to them. 541 00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:06,160 "This 'mediator' sat there with a big smile on her dumb face 542 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,120 "pointing at shapes." 543 00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:10,760 Dumb face? What's dumb about my face? 544 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:11,920 Nothing, Roz. 545 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,800 I think these people are angry at the process of mediation, 546 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,080 not at you personally. 547 00:19:16,080 --> 00:19:19,440 Oh. Speak more to that. Say more about me. 548 00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:21,280 As we both know, 549 00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:25,160 all any client wants to hear is, "You're right and they're wrong." 550 00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,760 But as a mediator, all you can do is waft around, saying things like, 551 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:32,360 "We're all a little bit right and we're all a little bit wrong." 552 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:35,400 Circles, shapes, talking, compromise. 553 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,240 No-one wants to hear that, Roz. 554 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:42,400 Wow. I feel like I have been slapped in the face. 555 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:44,560 Sorry. Do you know what you are, Helen? 556 00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:46,520 In trouble? A truth-sayer. 557 00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,000 Yes! In a good way? Very much so. 558 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:52,760 I feel like I'm seeing everything through a whole new lens. 559 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:53,760 (BEEPING) Oop! 560 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,760 Ooh. 561 00:19:54,760 --> 00:19:55,840 Up! 562 00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:58,240 Beep-beep-beep-beep! Beep-beep-beep-beep! (LAUGHS) 563 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,120 Perfect pitch. As use. 564 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:01,680 B flat. 565 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:02,920 Hey. 566 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:04,160 Thank you, friend. 567 00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:06,520 Beep-beep-beep-beep! Beep-beep-beep-beep! 568 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:07,520 Wow. 569 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,680 (BELL DINGS) 570 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:19,920 Oh. 571 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:21,920 Thank you for yesterday, Helen. 572 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:24,320 It was just the kick in the pants I needed. 573 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:25,520 Oh. Pleasure, Roz. Yeah. 574 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:29,120 I think, uh, pants-kicking might be my special skill. 575 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:30,520 Oh, no. You really taught me something. 576 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:31,520 Did I? Oh, yes. 577 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,800 The haters are going to hate no matter what you do. 578 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,000 Exactly. 579 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,240 So there's no point trying to be nice. 580 00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:38,760 I'm not sure that's quite what I said. 581 00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:40,320 The gospel according to Helen. 582 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,240 (LAUGHS) "Fuck 'em all." 583 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,560 That's definitely not what I said, Roz, 584 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,560 but I'm glad you're feeling better. 585 00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,000 MAN: Well... 586 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,920 ..it's certainly dry and clinical, 587 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:52,440 with no room for interpretation. 588 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:53,720 Thank you. 589 00:20:53,720 --> 00:20:55,880 Some of my best work. You're really very good. 590 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,120 Yes, I am. (LAUGHS) 591 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,240 Oh. 592 00:20:58,240 --> 00:21:01,480 Have I inspired you to do some scribbling? 593 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,800 What? 594 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:04,040 Mind if I take a look? Or is it private? 595 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,360 Oh, that's not mine. 596 00:21:05,360 --> 00:21:06,720 No, that's Roz's. But you can have a look. 597 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,120 She loves people reading her stuff. 598 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:11,200 She'll read it AT ya if you're not careful. 599 00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,840 Oh, no. I...I...I don't... think I can read this. 600 00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:16,520 Yeah. She does write some rubbish. 601 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,800 This woman's in a very dark place. 602 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,680 Oh, yes, she was. 603 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:21,680 Uh, but she's OK now. 604 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:23,480 I gave her a good kick in the pants. 605 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,320 I think a hug would have been more appropriate. 606 00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:27,080 Well, I'm more of a kicker than a hugger. 607 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,080 And, to be clear, it was a metaphorical kick. 608 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,200 The most dangerous kick of all. 609 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:35,320 Metaphors can be very powerful. 610 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,160 I didn't know that. 611 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:43,120 You took three weeks off! 612 00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:45,040 Well, I asked for six weeks, but you wouldn't give it to me. 613 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:47,800 Alright! Shut it, the pair of you. 614 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,240 Here is the situation. 615 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,080 You really are taking the piss with all those absences. 616 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,360 Thank you. Exactly what I've been saying for the past several weeks! 617 00:21:53,360 --> 00:21:54,400 I haven't finished. 618 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,960 And you, you can't fire someone without a written warning 619 00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,120 and a performance improvement plan. 620 00:21:59,120 --> 00:22:00,320 Yeah, Rob. 621 00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,680 A what? 622 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,840 My point is, you're both idiots. 623 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:05,040 So, I want you to go back to the office 624 00:22:05,040 --> 00:22:06,840 and sort this out like grown-ups. 625 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:09,320 But we were sent here to sort it out. 626 00:22:09,320 --> 00:22:11,440 Yes, and I just told you how to do that. 627 00:22:11,440 --> 00:22:12,480 You, get a dog minder. 628 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:15,760 You, let her work from home a couple of days a week. 629 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:18,120 There. There's your judgement. 630 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,120 Done! 631 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,640 Get out. 632 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:24,400 Um... 633 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,160 ..I would just like to say, 634 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,480 that is not what I was expecting. 635 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,800 And you are really rude and completely disrespectful. 636 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:33,080 Save it for your Google review. 637 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:34,800 Get out. 638 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:39,960 Hey, Roz. 639 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,000 (DOOR CLOSES) 640 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,400 Seems like a very... different approach. 641 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,080 Yes, well, they're going to hate me anyway, 642 00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,080 so why waste time on pleasantries? 643 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,240 That is the gospel according to Helen. 644 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:51,760 Yeah. That's not quite what I said, Roz. 645 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,560 That's what I heard. 646 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:56,280 Did you want a hug? 647 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:57,400 Sorry, what was that? 648 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:59,240 Nothing. All good. 649 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:08,080 Oh, guys. Guys, look. Look who it is. 650 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:09,080 Morning, all. HELEN: Hey. 651 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,480 Um, we have something we'd like to... 652 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,800 Oh. Sorry. You go, darling. Thank you. 653 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,360 We have some exciting news. 654 00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:17,360 (GASPS) You're engaged? 655 00:23:17,360 --> 00:23:18,760 Oh, no. I'm gonna cry. 656 00:23:18,760 --> 00:23:22,120 No. We're engaged to be engaged. 657 00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:23,200 Sorry, what are you? 658 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,120 Engaged to be engaged. Is that a thing? 659 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:29,520 We're going to get engaged next month, and everyone's welcome, 660 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:31,400 including weird cousins. 661 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,240 Oh, goody. Just need to nut out a few details. 662 00:23:34,240 --> 00:23:35,240 (WHISPERS) Like a prenup? 663 00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:36,600 No. 664 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,280 You tell them, Ray-Ray. 665 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:41,520 I'm gonna be a dad. (SIGHS) 666 00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:42,520 Oh, my God. 667 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:44,120 Did I not tell you to take precautions? 668 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:45,720 Who's the mother? 669 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:47,240 I am, silly. HELEN: You?! 670 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:48,840 But aren't you, like... 671 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:49,960 ..out of eggs? 672 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,640 We're not HAVING a baby. 673 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,920 We're having a Bubby. 674 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:54,520 (BOTH LAUGH) Oh. 675 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,400 RAY: I'm adopting Bubby. 676 00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,360 I was inspired by you and Viktor. 677 00:23:58,360 --> 00:24:00,280 I said to Meli, "I want Bubby to know that I'm not 678 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:01,640 "just another man blowing in, 679 00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:04,240 "banging his mum and blowing out again." 680 00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:05,320 Ray! Oh, Ray! 681 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,320 Sorry. I want to reassure him that this is for keeps. 682 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,680 We want the boy to have some stability in his life. 683 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,280 Isn't the boy 24? 684 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:15,000 Ray said you were 57 when you were adopted. 685 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:16,680 49, but point taken. 686 00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:19,000 Congratulations, guys. Oh! 687 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:20,000 Thank you. Thank you. 688 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,560 ROZ: Well done. HELEN: Well done, Ray. 689 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,840 Good on you, man. 690 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:24,880 Fisk. 691 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:26,400 Yeah. I've got you a little something. 692 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,600 Oh, a magic tree? That's special. 693 00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,280 Get rid of the dumpling smell and the... 694 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,880 ..stench of despair I brought into the place. 695 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,640 Sorry about that. No problem, Ray. 696 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,120 I'm just glad everything worked out for you. 697 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:36,480 Surprise gender reveal! 698 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:37,680 (LOUD POP) Oh! 699 00:24:37,680 --> 00:24:39,200 OK. RAY: Oh! Good on you, mate! (LAUGHS) 700 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:40,800 I just wanted to be part of the big news. 701 00:24:40,800 --> 00:24:42,480 (LAUGHS) HELEN: It's a boy. 702 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,240 Well, he's 24. It's a man. RAY: It IS a man. 703 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,280 (LAUGHS) Absolutely. ROZ: Oh! 704 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:47,960 Well, hello. You're talking about me, are you? 705 00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,000 Well, guess what. I don't even care. 706 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:52,400 Helen taught me that. No, I didn't. What? 707 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,480 We're not talking about you, Roz. 708 00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,280 But I'm glad everyone's here. Now I can tell you all together. 709 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:59,840 I'm leaving. ROZ: Well, I mean, it is 3:30. 710 00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:01,600 That sounds about right. No. 711 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,120 I'm leaving the business. 712 00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:04,760 What? What? 713 00:25:04,760 --> 00:25:06,160 Why?! 714 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,240 (SOBS) 715 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,400 Oh, no, Ray. 716 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,400 Oh, no! RAY: Hey! 717 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:11,400 Buddy. Georgie! 718 00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:12,400 Come on, mate. Please. 719 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:13,560 Be strong for me now, mate. 720 00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:15,040 Hey! George! (SOBS) 721 00:25:15,040 --> 00:25:16,080 Where's he going? George! 722 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,080 Not the can. 723 00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:18,160 He's not got the key. 724 00:25:18,160 --> 00:25:20,080 You need the key! (DOORKNOB RATTLES) 725 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,840 He needs the key. I'll get the key! 726 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,720 I'll get the key! (DOORKNOB RATTLES) 727 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:24,720 (GEORGE SOBS) 728 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:26,680 (SIGHS) 729 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,760 RAY: Why is there only one key to that toilet? 730 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,320 Captions by Red Bee Media 731 00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:33,880 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation