1 00:00:05,281 --> 00:00:07,401 (BRAKES SQUEAK) 2 00:00:07,401 --> 00:00:08,601 (DOOR OPENS, SHUTS) 3 00:00:08,601 --> 00:00:10,081 Ohh! Come on! 4 00:00:10,081 --> 00:00:12,201 (DOG WHINES) 5 00:00:12,201 --> 00:00:12,401 (DOG WHINES) Minh? 6 00:00:12,401 --> 00:00:13,241 Minh? 7 00:00:14,561 --> 00:00:15,841 (DOG WHIMPERS) 8 00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,081 Minh! 9 00:00:20,681 --> 00:00:21,801 (YELLS) Minh! 10 00:00:21,801 --> 00:00:25,401 (THEME MUSIC PLAYS) 11 00:00:37,561 --> 00:00:38,881 No. Yep. 12 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:41,401 Just checking the ban is still in place. 13 00:00:41,401 --> 00:00:43,441 And it is. 14 00:00:44,801 --> 00:00:47,681 ROZ: Higher. Higher. Lower. 15 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,521 Morning, Roz. Webmaster. 16 00:00:50,521 --> 00:00:53,001 Morning, Helen. No, no, straighter. 17 00:00:53,001 --> 00:00:54,601 A bit more to the right. Yes, good. I'll just... 18 00:00:54,601 --> 00:00:57,121 Good. A bit more to the right. And let it go. 19 00:00:57,121 --> 00:00:58,441 (YELLS) Hey, Helen, stop! (SCREAMS) 20 00:00:58,441 --> 00:01:00,201 Don't go in there! OK! Why not?! What's going on?! 21 00:01:00,201 --> 00:01:04,761 No, I'm just excited. I've got your office ready. Totally styled it out. 22 00:01:04,761 --> 00:01:06,601 This way. OK. 23 00:01:06,601 --> 00:01:08,561 You... You all good? Yeah. 24 00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:10,281 Might just need a minute. 25 00:01:10,281 --> 00:01:11,561 (BREATHES SHAKILY) 26 00:01:12,521 --> 00:01:14,761 You know, I'm quite highly strung. Maybe don't yell at me. 27 00:01:14,761 --> 00:01:17,001 (WHIRRS) 28 00:01:17,001 --> 00:01:18,721 This one? No. That's a cupboard. 29 00:01:18,721 --> 00:01:18,961 This one? This is your office. 30 00:01:18,961 --> 00:01:20,521 This is your office. 31 00:01:20,521 --> 00:01:23,841 Oh! Which is also a cupboard. 32 00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:25,561 Very unpretentious. 33 00:01:25,561 --> 00:01:28,921 And I like that I can interrogate suspects in here too. 34 00:01:28,921 --> 00:01:29,161 And I like that I can How about this desk? 35 00:01:29,161 --> 00:01:30,521 How about this desk? 36 00:01:30,521 --> 00:01:30,761 Ooh, it looks How about this desk? 37 00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:32,121 Ooh, it looks a bit different to the picture. 38 00:01:32,121 --> 00:01:34,641 I know! It's a hack! I hacked it! What do you think? 39 00:01:34,641 --> 00:01:37,161 I'm not sure you needed to, but OK, yeah, why not? 40 00:01:37,161 --> 00:01:39,641 Liaise with George for anything you might need. 41 00:01:39,641 --> 00:01:41,601 Don't go wild, obviously. We ARE on a budget. 42 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:42,361 Mm-hm. 43 00:01:42,361 --> 00:01:43,921 This is for clients. 44 00:01:43,921 --> 00:01:46,561 Maybe I could get something a bit more comfortable for clients. 45 00:01:46,561 --> 00:01:48,481 Yep. (CLICKING) 46 00:01:48,481 --> 00:01:48,721 Yep. Is that doing anything? 47 00:01:48,721 --> 00:01:50,081 Is that doing anything? 48 00:01:50,081 --> 00:01:51,241 Um... Not in here. 49 00:01:51,241 --> 00:01:53,641 Mm. Not out here either. 50 00:01:53,641 --> 00:01:56,921 What about a print or something to cover the mould on that wall? 51 00:01:56,921 --> 00:02:00,081 There's this website that does, like, inspirational work posters - 52 00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:02,441 you know, like, "Live, laugh, love," that kind of thing. 53 00:02:02,441 --> 00:02:03,761 I don't really do any of those things. 54 00:02:03,761 --> 00:02:04,001 I don't really do You can make your own one. 55 00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:05,121 You can make your own one. 56 00:02:05,121 --> 00:02:09,401 Like, you could have, "Meeting, lunch, phone call," 57 00:02:09,401 --> 00:02:11,041 or something. Sure. That's really inspiring. 58 00:02:11,041 --> 00:02:13,841 Well, you would personalise it. What do you like? 59 00:02:13,841 --> 00:02:14,081 Well, you would personalise it. Um... I like my dog. 60 00:02:14,081 --> 00:02:15,681 Um... I like my dog. 61 00:02:15,681 --> 00:02:18,201 Uh... Soup. I really like soup. 62 00:02:18,201 --> 00:02:19,681 Watching television. 63 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,161 Tea. Scones. Obviously go together. 64 00:02:21,161 --> 00:02:24,001 Ooh, butterscotch. Always better than you think. 65 00:02:24,001 --> 00:02:24,241 Ooh, butterscotch. You sound like my grandma. 66 00:02:24,241 --> 00:02:25,921 You sound like my grandma. 67 00:02:25,921 --> 00:02:27,601 Yeah, I do like big pants. 68 00:02:28,561 --> 00:02:30,801 Just...they keep me secure. Yeah. 69 00:02:37,961 --> 00:02:40,401 Hello, Bob! How are you? 70 00:02:40,401 --> 00:02:43,561 Rozalind Gru-bear! Good to see ya! 71 00:02:43,561 --> 00:02:45,161 I hope we can sort this out quickly. 72 00:02:45,161 --> 00:02:46,721 I've got a dim sum lunch I've got to get to. 73 00:02:46,721 --> 00:02:46,961 I've got a dim sum lunch Not up to me, I'm afraid. 74 00:02:46,961 --> 00:02:48,441 Not up to me, I'm afraid. 75 00:02:48,441 --> 00:02:51,681 I've handed this one over to our new colleague, Helen Tudor-Fisk. 76 00:02:51,681 --> 00:02:52,881 Fisk? Mm. 77 00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:54,881 Fisk - any relation to... Father. 78 00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:57,921 Well, well, interesting! Are the rumours true? Do we know? 79 00:02:57,921 --> 00:02:59,441 You know, about Dad and the tipstaff? 80 00:02:59,441 --> 00:02:59,681 You know, Helen. 81 00:02:59,681 --> 00:03:00,801 Helen. 82 00:03:00,801 --> 00:03:03,161 This is Bob Stanley. Hello, Bob. 83 00:03:03,161 --> 00:03:05,121 It's all true - Mum died, Dad kicked that closet door down 84 00:03:05,121 --> 00:03:07,001 and came out screaming, ran off with his tipstaff. 85 00:03:07,001 --> 00:03:09,521 It's been quite the roller-coaster ride. Should we head on in? 86 00:03:12,601 --> 00:03:14,201 (TRAM BELL DINGS) 87 00:03:27,121 --> 00:03:31,041 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 88 00:03:31,041 --> 00:03:34,041 OK, the will states that the cremains are to be divided 89 00:03:34,041 --> 00:03:37,121 between the family of Alan Munster and Kellie-Joy Frazer. 90 00:03:37,121 --> 00:03:40,161 Obviously I should get the whole vase of ashes, 91 00:03:40,161 --> 00:03:42,521 but if Ally says half, I'll accept half, please, thank you. 92 00:03:42,521 --> 00:03:45,041 Ooh, hang on, the will does not specify half. 93 00:03:45,041 --> 00:03:47,521 It simply says, "cremains to be divided." 94 00:03:47,521 --> 00:03:47,761 It simply says, That's what we're here to determine. 95 00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:49,241 That's what we're here to determine. 96 00:03:49,241 --> 00:03:51,761 But I'm the widow. Widow... Were you married? 97 00:03:51,761 --> 00:03:53,601 That feels like new information... No, they weren't married. 98 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:56,121 Me and Ally-bear were married in our hearts. 99 00:03:56,121 --> 00:03:57,921 Don't need a piece of paper to be married. 100 00:03:57,921 --> 00:04:00,161 I think that's exactly what you need to be married. 101 00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:02,081 Yeah... Hey, are there any snacks? 102 00:04:02,081 --> 00:04:05,201 I'm...I'm quite peckish. Roz usually serves snacks. 103 00:04:05,201 --> 00:04:07,561 Sorry. No snacks. What's...? 104 00:04:07,561 --> 00:04:10,041 Oh, that's a shame. A bit of cheese floating around? 105 00:04:10,041 --> 00:04:10,281 Oh, that's a shame. No, Bob. No floating cheese. 106 00:04:10,281 --> 00:04:11,561 No, Bob. No floating cheese. 107 00:04:11,561 --> 00:04:13,041 I just need to clarify 108 00:04:13,041 --> 00:04:15,801 exactly how long you were in a relationship with Mr Munster. 109 00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:16,841 Five minutes. 110 00:04:16,841 --> 00:04:19,081 Um... Instagram begs to differ. 111 00:04:19,081 --> 00:04:22,641 We've been an official couple since October last year. 112 00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:25,561 But, before that, it was just flirting around the office, 113 00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:25,801 But, before that, it was just a bit of sexting. 114 00:04:25,801 --> 00:04:27,161 a bit of sexting. 115 00:04:27,161 --> 00:04:27,401 Oh, God. a bit of sexting. 116 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,641 Oh, God. My poor mother didn't deserve this. 117 00:04:29,641 --> 00:04:32,041 No, that's pretty... Oh, that's hard to look at. 118 00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:32,281 No, that's pretty... He was living his best life, Gina. 119 00:04:32,281 --> 00:04:33,921 He was living his best life, Gina. 120 00:04:33,921 --> 00:04:35,481 There's a saying, you know? 121 00:04:35,481 --> 00:04:38,561 "Why go out for steak when you're getting the milk for free?" 122 00:04:38,561 --> 00:04:39,361 BOTH: What? 123 00:04:39,361 --> 00:04:40,841 Uh... I believe the expression is, 124 00:04:40,841 --> 00:04:44,041 "Why got for a hamburger when you're getting steak at home?" 125 00:04:44,041 --> 00:04:45,281 Right. 126 00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:47,761 Sorry, but I still don't quite understand what YOU'RE saying. 127 00:04:47,761 --> 00:04:49,441 I'm saying I'm the steak. 128 00:04:49,441 --> 00:04:49,681 Yeah, nah, I think in that scenario, I'm saying I'm the steak. 129 00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:53,321 Yeah, nah, I think in that scenario, you're the hamburger. 130 00:04:53,321 --> 00:04:53,561 Yeah, nah, I think in that scenario, I'm not the hamburger! 131 00:04:53,561 --> 00:04:54,801 I'm not the hamburger! 132 00:04:54,801 --> 00:04:56,201 I'm fillet steak. 133 00:04:56,201 --> 00:04:58,721 You're really not. You're more like a kebab. 134 00:04:58,721 --> 00:04:58,961 You're really not. Mm. 135 00:04:58,961 --> 00:05:00,321 Mm. 136 00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:01,961 Yum. 137 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:09,681 Oh! 138 00:05:10,921 --> 00:05:12,241 Roz? 139 00:05:12,241 --> 00:05:12,481 I've just seen Bob Stanley Roz? 140 00:05:12,481 --> 00:05:14,161 I've just seen Bob Stanley in the meeting room. 141 00:05:14,161 --> 00:05:15,921 Is this yours? Uh-uh. 142 00:05:15,921 --> 00:05:18,521 Hang on, that's mine. Jesus, take it easy. 143 00:05:18,521 --> 00:05:18,761 Hang on, that's mine. That's... Yeah. That one's gone. 144 00:05:18,761 --> 00:05:21,161 That's... Yeah. That one's gone. 145 00:05:21,161 --> 00:05:22,721 Why are there no snacks in there? 146 00:05:22,721 --> 00:05:22,961 Let's get some taramasalata, Why are there no snacks in there? 147 00:05:22,961 --> 00:05:25,321 Let's get some taramasalata, some tzatziki in there. 148 00:05:25,321 --> 00:05:26,841 Bob will agree to anything if there's snacks. 149 00:05:26,841 --> 00:05:29,361 I thought I wasn't allowed anywhere near legal proceedings. 150 00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:33,001 Just find some bloody hummus and put Bob's name on it. 151 00:05:33,961 --> 00:05:35,481 And it's 'HOU-mus'. 152 00:05:36,881 --> 00:05:38,881 (TRAFFIC DRONES) 153 00:05:38,881 --> 00:05:40,401 (CRUNCHING) 154 00:05:40,401 --> 00:05:41,881 OK, so, with regard... 155 00:05:41,881 --> 00:05:43,761 That's good hummus. Yep. 156 00:05:43,761 --> 00:05:45,361 Very happy with that. OK. 157 00:05:45,361 --> 00:05:47,281 So, with regard to the division of the cremains, 158 00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:50,841 we would like to make an offer of five grams, or one teaspoon. 159 00:05:50,841 --> 00:05:52,721 One teaspoon?! Which I realise 160 00:05:52,721 --> 00:05:56,361 doesn't sound like much, however, it is enough to pop in, say, a locket 161 00:05:56,361 --> 00:05:57,921 or some other kind of keepsake. 162 00:05:57,921 --> 00:06:00,001 A what-sake? Like a memento, a keepsake. 163 00:06:00,001 --> 00:06:00,241 A what-sake? For example, there's a company 164 00:06:00,241 --> 00:06:01,481 For example, there's a company 165 00:06:01,481 --> 00:06:03,401 that will put a small amount of ashes into a snow globe. 166 00:06:03,401 --> 00:06:03,641 that will put a small amount of ashes Mm, that's nice. 167 00:06:03,641 --> 00:06:04,761 Mm, that's nice. 168 00:06:04,761 --> 00:06:06,961 Do you think? Uh... Yeah, nice. 169 00:06:06,961 --> 00:06:10,601 Uh... Sometimes people mix the ashes with ink and get a tattoo. 170 00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:12,241 Really? Relax. 171 00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,081 Yep, definitely doing that. I could get a teddy bear, 172 00:06:14,081 --> 00:06:15,881 my own little Ally-bear on my shoulder maybe. 173 00:06:15,881 --> 00:06:18,081 I would've thought a tramp stamp would be more suitable. 174 00:06:18,081 --> 00:06:20,321 I've already got one, Gina, so joke's on you. 175 00:06:20,321 --> 00:06:20,561 I've already got one, Gina, (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 176 00:06:20,561 --> 00:06:22,361 (WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY) 177 00:06:22,361 --> 00:06:24,401 Mm. Um... My client... 178 00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:26,121 Hang on. Sorry. Chewing. 179 00:06:26,121 --> 00:06:28,081 Sorry, that's not fair. 180 00:06:28,081 --> 00:06:29,361 I'm gonna need more than five grams 181 00:06:29,361 --> 00:06:31,641 if I'm gonna get a tattoo AND a snow globe. 182 00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:34,601 It actually IS fair because we've done the calculations. 183 00:06:34,601 --> 00:06:36,841 Let me talk you through them and then you'll see how we got there. 184 00:06:36,841 --> 00:06:37,081 Let me talk you through them OK, so... 185 00:06:37,081 --> 00:06:39,241 OK, so... 186 00:06:39,241 --> 00:06:40,601 ..what we need to do 187 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,081 is compare the amount of time YOU spent with Mr Munster 188 00:06:43,081 --> 00:06:45,081 versus the time he spent with his family. 189 00:06:45,081 --> 00:06:45,321 versus the time So, over here on your side, 190 00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:46,921 So, over here on your side, 191 00:06:46,921 --> 00:06:49,441 you say you were together six months, I'm taking you at your word, 192 00:06:49,441 --> 00:06:51,001 including that extra bit at the beginning, 193 00:06:51,001 --> 00:06:51,241 including that extra bit we end up with about 7.44 months. 194 00:06:51,241 --> 00:06:53,241 we end up with about 7.44 months. 195 00:06:53,241 --> 00:06:56,201 Versus a 48-year marriage with two children, 196 00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:57,681 combined ages of which are 76 years. 197 00:06:57,681 --> 00:07:00,601 Now, 76 and 48 - that's a 124 years. 198 00:07:00,601 --> 00:07:03,801 In order to compare that with this, we need to convert that to months. 199 00:07:03,801 --> 00:07:06,241 So, we times it by 12. We end up with 1,488 months. 200 00:07:06,241 --> 00:07:07,801 Now we're comparing apples with apples. 201 00:07:07,801 --> 00:07:10,321 Then we factor in the weight of the ashes. 202 00:07:10,321 --> 00:07:12,241 Now, that's approximately one to three kilograms, 203 00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:15,081 so what we go with is units, then we convert it back to grams, 204 00:07:15,081 --> 00:07:18,241 and what we end up with is five grams, one teaspoon. 205 00:07:18,241 --> 00:07:21,321 It was actually 4.7, but I'm being generous, I've rounded up. 206 00:07:21,321 --> 00:07:21,561 It was actually 4.7, but So, what do we think? Bob? 207 00:07:21,561 --> 00:07:22,841 So, what do we think? Bob? 208 00:07:24,321 --> 00:07:26,121 Yeah, um... 209 00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:27,401 That's imp... It's impressive. 210 00:07:27,401 --> 00:07:29,321 Yeah, I actually think that's quite a fair deal. 211 00:07:29,321 --> 00:07:29,561 Yeah, I actually think So, are we all happy with that? 212 00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:31,161 So, are we all happy with that? 213 00:07:31,161 --> 00:07:33,641 I know you're not happy with it. But we agree to that? 214 00:07:33,641 --> 00:07:34,841 Yeah. Great. 215 00:07:34,841 --> 00:07:37,721 Well, I'm gonna call the funeral home and get them to release the ashes. 216 00:07:37,721 --> 00:07:37,961 Well, I'm gonna call the funeral home Mm. 217 00:07:37,961 --> 00:07:38,881 Mm. 218 00:07:38,881 --> 00:07:41,281 Make sure I get a good five grams. 219 00:07:41,281 --> 00:07:41,521 Like, from his heart, you know? Make sure I get a good five grams. 220 00:07:41,521 --> 00:07:44,681 Like, from his heart, you know? I don't want foot ashes or anything. 221 00:07:45,641 --> 00:07:47,441 (EXHALES HEAVILY) 222 00:07:47,441 --> 00:07:49,201 Vis-a-vis our next meeting, Helen, 223 00:07:49,201 --> 00:07:50,761 what do you think about a few deli meats? 224 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,001 what do you think about Maybe some lavash? 225 00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:52,361 Maybe some lavash? 226 00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:54,761 Yeah, I'll get on that. 227 00:07:54,761 --> 00:07:55,001 Do you wanna take the hummus? Yeah, I'll get on that. 228 00:07:55,001 --> 00:07:57,521 Do you wanna take the hummus? No-one else wants it, Bob. 229 00:07:57,521 --> 00:07:57,761 Do you wanna take the hummus? Oh, yeah. For sure. 230 00:07:57,761 --> 00:07:59,201 Oh, yeah. For sure. 231 00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:01,841 Thanks. 232 00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:05,081 And any snacks you'd like for the next meeting or... 233 00:08:06,241 --> 00:08:07,761 ..a bit upset? 234 00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:09,761 OK. 235 00:08:14,761 --> 00:08:15,841 (ENGINE STARTS) 236 00:08:35,961 --> 00:08:37,401 (RINGS DOORBELL) 237 00:08:38,721 --> 00:08:40,201 Oh, Viktor. Helen! 238 00:08:40,201 --> 00:08:41,761 What's going on? I don't have you in the diary. 239 00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:43,601 I thought you'd be at work. I'm on... (SNIFFS) 240 00:08:43,601 --> 00:08:45,001 I'm on long-service leave. What is that smell? 241 00:08:45,001 --> 00:08:46,601 You haven't got that dog with you, have you? 242 00:08:46,601 --> 00:08:48,521 No. You know I'm allergic. 243 00:08:48,521 --> 00:08:50,161 Yes. Oh, it's like popcorn and wet meat. 244 00:08:50,161 --> 00:08:52,321 No, I think that's just me. Is Dad home? 245 00:08:52,321 --> 00:08:53,681 Yes. Why? Do I need a reason? 246 00:08:53,681 --> 00:08:53,921 Yes. Why? Maybe I just want to say hi. 247 00:08:53,921 --> 00:08:55,201 Maybe I just want to say hi. 248 00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,881 Really? Yes! 249 00:08:58,641 --> 00:09:01,841 And I would also like to borrow the George Foreman Grill, please, 250 00:09:01,841 --> 00:09:03,481 because the cooktop at my Airbnb is broken. 251 00:09:03,481 --> 00:09:06,241 Oh, Helen. Is this how you thought your life would turn out? 252 00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:08,561 You're divorced, you're living in a bedsit, 253 00:09:08,561 --> 00:09:11,081 you're eating steaks cooked in a sandwich maker. 254 00:09:11,081 --> 00:09:14,921 It's not a sandwich maker. It's a... lean, mean grilling machine, 255 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,761 Look, why don't you pick it up on Sunday when you come for lunch? 256 00:09:16,761 --> 00:09:18,481 Oh, you're not the boss of my dad, Viktor, OK? 257 00:09:18,481 --> 00:09:21,041 (SCOFFS) I was his tipstaff for 15 years, Helen. 258 00:09:21,041 --> 00:09:22,401 I think you'll find I have been the boss of your dad 259 00:09:22,401 --> 00:09:22,641 I think you'll find for quite some time. 260 00:09:22,641 --> 00:09:23,921 for quite some time. 261 00:09:23,921 --> 00:09:26,321 Fine. I will get it on Sunday. 262 00:09:26,321 --> 00:09:28,321 Well, lovely. We'll look forward to seeing you then. 263 00:09:28,321 --> 00:09:28,561 Well, lovely. We'll look forward Dad's doing a seafood buffet. 264 00:09:28,561 --> 00:09:29,921 Dad's doing a seafood buffet. 265 00:09:29,921 --> 00:09:31,641 Ooh, goody! Fish! 266 00:09:31,641 --> 00:09:34,041 No-one's favourite. Bleugh! 267 00:09:40,121 --> 00:09:43,241 (PHONE RINGS) 268 00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:45,521 Yes, Viktor? 269 00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:48,241 I want you to call May and Graham and invite them to Sunday lunch. 270 00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:50,481 Why do I have to call them? It's YOUR lunch. 271 00:09:50,481 --> 00:09:51,721 They're YOUR aunt and uncle. 272 00:09:51,721 --> 00:09:53,561 I want everyone there. I've got a big announcement. 273 00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:53,801 I want everyone there. (CHUCKLES) Is that a euphemism? 274 00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,241 (CHUCKLES) Is that a euphemism? 275 00:09:57,161 --> 00:09:59,161 Viktor, I said is that a euphemism? 276 00:09:59,161 --> 00:09:59,401 Yes, Helen, I heard you. Viktor, I said is that a euphemism? 277 00:09:59,401 --> 00:10:01,641 Yes, Helen, I heard you. Don't be common. 278 00:10:01,641 --> 00:10:04,121 Just call your aunt and uncle, please. Thank you. Goodbye. 279 00:10:04,121 --> 00:10:04,361 Just call your aunt and uncle, (PHONE BEEPS) 280 00:10:04,361 --> 00:10:05,481 (PHONE BEEPS) 281 00:10:15,321 --> 00:10:17,121 Wow! 282 00:10:17,121 --> 00:10:18,801 Look what you've done. 283 00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,601 It's like a room reveal on The Block. 284 00:10:20,601 --> 00:10:23,321 All this for $80 at Kmart. Can you believe it? 285 00:10:23,321 --> 00:10:25,641 Yes, I can. Check this out! 286 00:10:25,641 --> 00:10:29,401 The most-comfortable-ever chair for clients. 287 00:10:29,401 --> 00:10:29,641 The most-comfortable-ever chair Chair, you reckon? 288 00:10:29,641 --> 00:10:30,761 Chair, you reckon? 289 00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:31,001 I really thought outside the box Chair, you reckon? 290 00:10:31,001 --> 00:10:32,481 I really thought outside the box for this one. 291 00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:32,721 I really thought outside the box Yeah. And...what is that? A fez? 292 00:10:32,721 --> 00:10:35,441 Yeah. And...what is that? A fez? 293 00:10:35,441 --> 00:10:37,601 Yeah, maybe for a monkey. 294 00:10:37,601 --> 00:10:39,201 Mm-hm. 295 00:10:41,361 --> 00:10:46,041 (OFFICE HUBBUB) 296 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,881 (PUFFS) 297 00:11:03,281 --> 00:11:04,761 (CLICKS LIGHTSWITCH) 298 00:11:13,841 --> 00:11:15,841 Doesn't mean she can come in here any time she wants 299 00:11:15,841 --> 00:11:18,161 and watch TV and fall asleep on the couch. 300 00:11:18,161 --> 00:11:20,081 She was asleep on the couch the other day when I came home from work. 301 00:11:20,081 --> 00:11:21,681 But if you're not here, what does it matter? 302 00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:24,881 It matters because it's against the rules and I'm renting the house. 303 00:11:24,881 --> 00:11:27,641 OK, fine. I'll make sure she doesn't come in and watch TV here anymore. 304 00:11:27,641 --> 00:11:27,881 OK, fine. I'll make sure she doesn't Thank you. 305 00:11:27,881 --> 00:11:29,161 Thank you. 306 00:11:29,161 --> 00:11:31,321 Well, don't come into my... 307 00:11:32,841 --> 00:11:34,801 Oh. OK, well, this is petty. 308 00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:38,481 It's plugged in at the wall as well. You're gonna have to... 309 00:11:39,441 --> 00:11:40,681 Now it's not. 310 00:11:41,641 --> 00:11:43,001 OK. 311 00:11:43,001 --> 00:11:44,321 Good. 312 00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:46,961 I'll just read a book. It's better for you. 313 00:11:59,041 --> 00:12:00,361 (DOG WHINES) 314 00:12:08,841 --> 00:12:10,641 (RADIO PLAYS INDISTINCTLY) 315 00:12:10,641 --> 00:12:12,761 WOMAN: (ON RADIO) Coming up a bit later with Chris Bowen, 316 00:12:12,761 --> 00:12:14,121 Helen Haines and Warren Entsch, 317 00:12:14,121 --> 00:12:16,281 three parliamentarians who all want to tell us 318 00:12:16,281 --> 00:12:21,401 what they've been reading and listening to and watching. 319 00:12:21,401 --> 00:12:23,401 They do have time, it would appear - only just. 320 00:12:23,401 --> 00:12:23,641 They do have time, So, we're also doing that. 321 00:12:23,641 --> 00:12:25,561 So, we're also doing that. 322 00:12:25,561 --> 00:12:28,841 (MUSIC PLAYS) 323 00:12:34,761 --> 00:12:36,321 Shit! 324 00:12:36,321 --> 00:12:37,441 (YELLS) Minh! 325 00:12:37,441 --> 00:12:39,241 Minh, what are you doing?! 326 00:12:39,241 --> 00:12:40,801 Burning rubbish! 327 00:12:40,801 --> 00:12:41,961 Oh, my Go... 328 00:12:42,921 --> 00:12:44,121 Hang on a sec. 329 00:12:45,321 --> 00:12:47,521 Can you throw this in?! 330 00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,561 Thank you! 331 00:13:00,761 --> 00:13:02,761 Hello, hello! Hi! 332 00:13:02,761 --> 00:13:03,001 Hello, hello! May, Helen. God, that's a fun top. 333 00:13:03,001 --> 00:13:04,881 May, Helen. God, that's a fun top. 334 00:13:04,881 --> 00:13:05,121 Looks like you've joined May, Helen. God, that's a fun top. 335 00:13:05,121 --> 00:13:06,601 Looks like you've joined a mime school! I love it. 336 00:13:06,601 --> 00:13:07,961 Is Graham coming? Yeah. 337 00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:08,201 Is Graham coming? Graham! 338 00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:09,161 Graham! 339 00:13:09,161 --> 00:13:09,401 Where are you? Oh! Graham! 340 00:13:09,401 --> 00:13:12,041 Where are you? Oh! Picking up the rear. As usual. Ha! 341 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,281 Oh, yes. Yep. 342 00:13:13,281 --> 00:13:15,001 Latest acquisition on the easel. Mm. 343 00:13:15,001 --> 00:13:15,241 Latest acquisition on the easel. It's pretty graphic, Viktor. 344 00:13:15,241 --> 00:13:16,601 It's pretty graphic, Viktor. 345 00:13:16,601 --> 00:13:18,681 It's just a body, Helen. We've all got one. 346 00:13:19,641 --> 00:13:22,241 That guy's got a massive one. (CHUCKLES) Shh! 347 00:13:22,241 --> 00:13:22,481 That guy's got a massive one. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 348 00:13:22,481 --> 00:13:25,121 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 349 00:13:25,121 --> 00:13:27,201 Oh, did they? They did. 350 00:13:27,201 --> 00:13:30,041 Whole barramundi! Yay! 351 00:13:30,041 --> 00:13:32,281 (APPLAUSE) Fish! Ooh! 352 00:13:32,281 --> 00:13:34,041 I thought you didn't like fish. What? 353 00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:36,121 You remember when I wanted to make boiled fish, 354 00:13:36,121 --> 00:13:36,361 You remember you said Helen doesn't like fish. 355 00:13:36,361 --> 00:13:37,601 you said Helen doesn't like fish. 356 00:13:37,601 --> 00:13:39,801 Nobody likes boiled fish, Graham. 357 00:13:39,801 --> 00:13:40,041 So, do you like fish now, Helen? Nobody likes boiled fish, Graham. 358 00:13:40,041 --> 00:13:42,601 So, do you like fish now, Helen? Yeah, I love it, Graham. 359 00:13:42,601 --> 00:13:42,841 So, do you like fish now, Helen? It looks great, Dad. Yum. 360 00:13:42,841 --> 00:13:44,161 It looks great, Dad. Yum. 361 00:13:44,161 --> 00:13:46,161 Clay-oven technique. Oh, good. 362 00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:48,401 You encase the whole fish in a simple dough 363 00:13:48,401 --> 00:13:49,761 made of flour, salt and water. 364 00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:52,201 Mm-hm. The dough then hardens into a shell. 365 00:13:52,201 --> 00:13:53,641 If I can just interrupt for a moment. 366 00:13:53,641 --> 00:13:55,881 Before we enjoy this beautiful feast, 367 00:13:55,881 --> 00:13:59,441 we just wanted to announce that last Thursday... 368 00:13:59,441 --> 00:14:01,121 ..we got married. Mm. 369 00:14:01,121 --> 00:14:03,961 I know, can you believe it? So, here's cheers. 370 00:14:03,961 --> 00:14:05,121 To Tippy and Tony. 371 00:14:05,121 --> 00:14:06,641 Tip and Tone. Tip and Tone. 372 00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:10,681 Dad, why didn't you tell me? Why wasn't I invited? 373 00:14:10,681 --> 00:14:13,841 It was just a simple service in the registrar's office. Nothing fancy. 374 00:14:13,841 --> 00:14:15,521 I figured we wouldn't trouble you with it. 375 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:15,761 I figured Well... Well, I'm shocked. 376 00:14:15,761 --> 00:14:17,681 Well... Well, I'm shocked. 377 00:14:17,681 --> 00:14:21,401 It's perfectly legal. A lot of gay people get married now. 378 00:14:21,401 --> 00:14:23,641 Oh, really? Yeah, she knows it's legal, Graham. 379 00:14:23,641 --> 00:14:23,881 Oh, really? She's just...surprised. 380 00:14:23,881 --> 00:14:26,121 She's just...surprised. 381 00:14:26,121 --> 00:14:27,441 We all are. 382 00:14:30,361 --> 00:14:32,601 Sauce. I forgot the sauce. 383 00:14:32,601 --> 00:14:32,841 Mm. It's not all you forgot, Sauce. I forgot the sauce. 384 00:14:32,841 --> 00:14:34,681 Mm. It's not all you forgot, is it, Dad? 385 00:14:36,241 --> 00:14:39,081 Anthony has been a widower for over two years now... 386 00:14:39,081 --> 00:14:40,881 Yes, thank you, Viktor. 387 00:14:40,881 --> 00:14:43,961 I'm well aware of when my sister died. 388 00:14:43,961 --> 00:14:47,081 I might have some of this fish. Looks so moist. 389 00:14:47,081 --> 00:14:47,321 I might have some of this fish. BOTH: Don't say 'moist'. 390 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:48,281 BOTH: Don't say 'moist'. 391 00:14:48,281 --> 00:14:49,481 Yuck. 392 00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:53,721 (CUTLERY CLATTERS) 393 00:14:53,721 --> 00:14:55,041 Is there any more bread? 394 00:14:55,041 --> 00:14:56,321 You had four rolls. 395 00:14:56,321 --> 00:14:57,641 (MOUTHS NOISELESSLY) But it's a lot. 396 00:14:57,641 --> 00:14:59,081 (YELLS) Bastard! Oh. 397 00:14:59,081 --> 00:15:01,001 Sorry, Tony, did you want the last potato? 398 00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:03,761 Little bastard in broad bloody daylight. Do you see it? 399 00:15:03,761 --> 00:15:05,241 Yes, yes, but, Tony, don't worry about it. 400 00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:06,881 Leave it alone. You'll just make it angry. 401 00:15:06,881 --> 00:15:08,961 What is it? Oh, it's a possum. 402 00:15:08,961 --> 00:15:11,401 It eats his magnolia tree and it craps all over the porte-cochere. 403 00:15:11,401 --> 00:15:12,961 The what? Oh, the driveway. 404 00:15:12,961 --> 00:15:14,681 They've been watching The Crown. Oh! 405 00:15:14,681 --> 00:15:15,921 Dad, no, don't, don't. 406 00:15:15,921 --> 00:15:17,321 Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 407 00:15:18,401 --> 00:15:19,401 (THUD!) Oh, sh...shit. 408 00:15:19,401 --> 00:15:20,481 (SCREAMS) Oh, my God! 409 00:15:20,481 --> 00:15:20,721 (SCREAMS) Anthony! You've killed it! 410 00:15:20,721 --> 00:15:21,881 Anthony! You've killed it! 411 00:15:21,881 --> 00:15:24,361 No, no, it's just playing possum. That's what they do. 412 00:15:24,361 --> 00:15:27,001 Helen, go and poke it with a stick. Make sure it's dead. 413 00:15:27,001 --> 00:15:28,801 I'm not gonna poke... Why do I have to poke it? Just... 414 00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:29,041 I'm not gonna poke... Dad, are you alright? 415 00:15:29,041 --> 00:15:29,801 Dad, are you alright? 416 00:15:29,801 --> 00:15:31,001 Oh, come on. May, take him inside. 417 00:15:31,001 --> 00:15:34,601 Open the door, Viktor. Jesus. It's not gonna get you now, it's dead! 418 00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:37,001 Quickly, quickly, come in. Don't let it in. 419 00:15:37,001 --> 00:15:38,481 Oh, for God's sake. He's got an armoury, Viktor! 420 00:15:38,481 --> 00:15:38,721 Oh, for God's sake. Why is he making weapons? 421 00:15:38,721 --> 00:15:40,081 Why is he making weapons? 422 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,041 Ready? 423 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,161 Ooh, God! 424 00:15:44,601 --> 00:15:45,881 Sweeping. 425 00:15:45,881 --> 00:15:47,641 (GROANS) 426 00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:49,001 Argh. 427 00:15:49,001 --> 00:15:50,641 Ready? 428 00:15:50,641 --> 00:15:52,281 Ohh! 429 00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,761 We'll see you soon. Yeah. You're alright? Recovered? 430 00:15:57,761 --> 00:15:59,561 Bye, Viktor! Bye. 431 00:15:59,561 --> 00:15:59,801 Bye, Viktor! See you, Graham. 432 00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:00,561 See you, Graham. 433 00:16:00,561 --> 00:16:02,041 How's... Is Dad alright? 434 00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:02,281 Yeah, he's fine, he's fine. How's... Is Dad alright? 435 00:16:02,281 --> 00:16:04,241 Yeah, he's fine, he's fine. Aren't you forgetting something? 436 00:16:04,241 --> 00:16:06,521 No, I've got my grill, I'm good. Oh, Helen, for God's sake. 437 00:16:06,521 --> 00:16:08,401 I'm sorry, Viktor, I didn't know we did hugs. 438 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,121 There we go. Ooh... Oh. Well, that's nice. 439 00:16:10,121 --> 00:16:10,361 There we go. I meant that. 440 00:16:10,361 --> 00:16:11,441 I meant that. 441 00:16:11,441 --> 00:16:12,361 No, I don't want leftovers. 442 00:16:12,361 --> 00:16:13,921 It's the possum. What? No. 443 00:16:13,921 --> 00:16:16,081 We cannot have evidence on our property, OK? 444 00:16:16,081 --> 00:16:18,321 I'm not taking it. It's in the esky. Just take it. 445 00:16:18,321 --> 00:16:21,241 Go. Go. Ohh... Why is it in an esky? 446 00:16:21,241 --> 00:16:23,201 What are you keeping it fresh for? Helen, get it out of here, please. 447 00:16:23,201 --> 00:16:26,281 Thank you. Thanks for a lovely afternoon! 448 00:16:37,841 --> 00:16:39,081 Jesus. 449 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,281 OK. 450 00:16:46,241 --> 00:16:47,641 OK. 451 00:16:51,041 --> 00:16:52,241 Argh. 452 00:16:52,241 --> 00:16:55,321 (DOG BARKS) 453 00:16:55,321 --> 00:16:58,041 Hang on, Artie! I know, buddy, hang on... 454 00:16:58,041 --> 00:16:59,081 (GROANS) 455 00:16:59,081 --> 00:17:00,521 Shit. (BARKING CONTINUES) 456 00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:00,761 Shit. I'm coming! 457 00:17:00,761 --> 00:17:01,521 I'm coming! 458 00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,921 That isn't gonna... 459 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:05,721 (BARKING CONTINUES) 460 00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:08,161 Just... Don't poo on the rug! 461 00:17:09,881 --> 00:17:14,121 (BIRD CAWS) 462 00:17:17,921 --> 00:17:18,961 (WHINES) 463 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,041 Juliana. 464 00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:25,801 Gran said you left a dead cat in an esky at her front door. 465 00:17:25,801 --> 00:17:27,761 Is that some kind of racist taunt? 466 00:17:27,761 --> 00:17:31,041 No, oh, God, no. God, no. No, it's not a cat, it's a...it's a possum. 467 00:17:31,041 --> 00:17:31,281 No, oh, God, no. God, no. No, it's Oh! It's a possum in an esky! 468 00:17:31,281 --> 00:17:33,161 Oh! It's a possum in an esky! 469 00:17:33,161 --> 00:17:33,401 Oh, that's alright then. Oh! It's a possum in an esky! 470 00:17:33,401 --> 00:17:35,041 Oh, that's alright then. That's not weird at all. 471 00:17:35,041 --> 00:17:36,521 Yeah, I'm really sorry. The bins were full. 472 00:17:36,521 --> 00:17:38,641 But give it to me, I'll get rid of it. There's a skip down the road. 473 00:17:38,641 --> 00:17:40,721 Where is it? It's gone. 474 00:17:40,721 --> 00:17:42,641 Gran burned it. Oh. 475 00:17:42,641 --> 00:17:44,401 OK. Well, good result. Thanks, Minh. 476 00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:47,081 Mm. Gran wants you out by Friday. You're too much trouble. 477 00:17:47,081 --> 00:17:48,721 But, no, I've got a booking for two months. 478 00:17:48,721 --> 00:17:51,001 Well, your booking is cancelled. You can't cancel my booking. 479 00:17:51,001 --> 00:17:54,641 Um... I think I just did. It's an Airbnb, Helen, there's no rules. 480 00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:56,401 No rules? Yeah, OK, well, how about I call the council 481 00:17:56,401 --> 00:17:58,401 and say there's an old lady having a backyard burn-off? 482 00:17:58,401 --> 00:17:59,881 Will they just say, "That's OK, Helen, 483 00:17:59,881 --> 00:18:01,641 "it's Airbnb, there's no rules"? Don't think so. 484 00:18:01,641 --> 00:18:01,881 "it's Airbnb, there's no rules"? Mm. Get out. 485 00:18:01,881 --> 00:18:03,161 Mm. Get out. 486 00:18:03,161 --> 00:18:05,201 Oh, fine. I'll be out by Friday. 487 00:18:05,201 --> 00:18:06,801 No. Get out now. 488 00:18:24,961 --> 00:18:27,201 (DOG WHINES) It'll be a week tops. Thanks, Dad. 489 00:18:29,681 --> 00:18:31,441 VIKTOR: For heaven's sake, Tony! (DOG BARKS) 490 00:18:31,441 --> 00:18:33,361 No! No, no, no, no, no! 491 00:18:33,361 --> 00:18:34,841 Helen, you come back here! 492 00:18:34,841 --> 00:18:36,681 I have allergies! I've got allergies! 493 00:18:44,521 --> 00:18:46,761 Naughty Viktor. Hello! Thank you. 494 00:18:53,681 --> 00:18:56,521 And you're definitely OK if I stay here?! 495 00:18:56,521 --> 00:18:56,761 And you're definitely OK Oh. Yep! Fine! 496 00:18:56,761 --> 00:18:58,041 Oh. Yep! Fine! 497 00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,161 Bye! Thank you! 498 00:18:59,161 --> 00:18:59,401 Bye! Bye! 499 00:18:59,401 --> 00:19:00,201 Bye! 500 00:19:04,921 --> 00:19:06,561 Man, you look tired. 501 00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:08,441 Yeah, well, I've had a very stressful morning. 502 00:19:08,441 --> 00:19:08,681 Yeah, well, No, I mean like...REALLY tired. 503 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,401 No, I mean like...REALLY tired. 504 00:19:10,401 --> 00:19:12,881 I got kicked out of my Airbnb. I had to leave all the stuff there... 505 00:19:12,881 --> 00:19:14,761 Ooh, Christ, you look like shit. 506 00:19:14,761 --> 00:19:16,521 That's what I just said! 507 00:19:16,521 --> 00:19:19,801 Morning! Yes, I know! I look terrible! 508 00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:21,761 Do you? You look like you always look to me. 509 00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:22,001 Do you? You look like (SIGHS) 510 00:19:22,001 --> 00:19:23,321 (SIGHS) 511 00:19:25,641 --> 00:19:27,401 (PHONE BUZZES) 512 00:19:33,001 --> 00:19:35,201 (BUBBLING) 513 00:19:49,681 --> 00:19:53,481 Please, Gina, take a very comfortable chair. 514 00:19:56,321 --> 00:19:58,241 Would you like some tea? 515 00:19:58,241 --> 00:20:01,321 Just water, thank you. And maybe some butterscotch. 516 00:20:01,321 --> 00:20:03,321 What? Sorry, is that not a menu? 517 00:20:03,321 --> 00:20:03,561 What? Gina, um... 518 00:20:03,561 --> 00:20:06,161 Gina, um... 519 00:20:06,161 --> 00:20:07,201 Hi. 520 00:20:07,201 --> 00:20:08,721 You know the handover's not till 3:00? 521 00:20:08,721 --> 00:20:10,321 You're just a bit early... I've changed my mind. 522 00:20:10,321 --> 00:20:12,001 Ooh. It's too upsetting. 523 00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:14,521 Mum needs to be able to look at the urn and know that he's all there. 524 00:20:14,521 --> 00:20:16,761 And he WILL be all there. There's only gonna be like a ti.. 525 00:20:16,761 --> 00:20:18,321 It's like a pinch is gonna be missing... 526 00:20:18,321 --> 00:20:20,561 Those missing ashes will be a constant reminder 527 00:20:20,561 --> 00:20:21,881 of this annus horribilis - 528 00:20:21,881 --> 00:20:23,561 the year some tramp stole her husband 529 00:20:23,561 --> 00:20:23,801 the year some tramp and put his ashes in a snow globe. 530 00:20:23,801 --> 00:20:25,241 and put his ashes in a snow globe. 531 00:20:25,241 --> 00:20:25,481 Oh, well, hang on, and put his ashes in a snow globe. 532 00:20:25,481 --> 00:20:28,641 Oh, well, hang on, we don't know that's gonna happen. 533 00:20:28,641 --> 00:20:31,241 Thanks, George. (SOFTLY) Get some tissues. 534 00:20:31,241 --> 00:20:31,481 Thanks, George. I mean, she might get a tattoo 535 00:20:31,481 --> 00:20:33,521 I mean, she might get a tattoo 536 00:20:33,521 --> 00:20:35,441 or she might lose them. 537 00:20:35,441 --> 00:20:37,121 We don't know what's gonna... Thanks. 538 00:20:37,121 --> 00:20:37,361 (WHISPERS) No, tissues in a box! We don't know what's gonna... Thanks. 539 00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,241 (WHISPERS) No, tissues in a box! (WHISPERS) We've run out. 540 00:20:40,401 --> 00:20:43,521 Mum always thought he'd come to his senses and come home eventually, 541 00:20:43,521 --> 00:20:43,761 Mum always thought he'd come to but then he...he died! 542 00:20:43,761 --> 00:20:45,401 but then he...he died! 543 00:20:45,401 --> 00:20:47,041 I know. I know. 544 00:20:47,041 --> 00:20:47,281 (CRIES) I know. I know. 545 00:20:47,281 --> 00:20:49,201 (CRIES) Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 546 00:20:49,201 --> 00:20:49,441 (CRIES) It's alright, she's just a bit upset 547 00:20:49,441 --> 00:20:51,001 It's alright, she's just a bit upset 548 00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:53,921 'cause we're...dividing her dad's ashes today. 549 00:20:53,921 --> 00:20:56,241 No, we're not. (SOFTLY) Yes, we are. 550 00:20:58,081 --> 00:21:00,401 Could you give us a minute? 551 00:21:03,041 --> 00:21:05,241 Oh, I'm sorry. Me. 552 00:21:05,241 --> 00:21:07,241 Now... (SIGHS) 553 00:21:07,241 --> 00:21:07,481 Now... ..we're going to calm down. 554 00:21:07,481 --> 00:21:08,921 ..we're going to calm down. 555 00:21:08,921 --> 00:21:10,761 I'm gonna get you some tissues. 556 00:21:10,761 --> 00:21:12,961 You do know that's not a toilet. 557 00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:15,721 She said that my dad... 558 00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:17,761 Yep. ..is gonna end up tattooed... 559 00:21:17,761 --> 00:21:20,281 I can assure you, Gina, that is not going to happen. 560 00:21:20,281 --> 00:21:24,561 Now, I want you to just take a little minute. 561 00:21:24,561 --> 00:21:24,801 Now, I want you Hmm? 562 00:21:24,801 --> 00:21:25,561 Hmm? 563 00:21:25,561 --> 00:21:26,921 Thank you. 564 00:21:28,201 --> 00:21:31,441 OK, you know I can't control what Kellie-Joy does with the ashes 565 00:21:31,441 --> 00:21:32,681 once she gets them. 566 00:21:32,681 --> 00:21:35,161 Well, then you'd better make sure she doesn't get any ashes. 567 00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:37,641 Roz? Roz? 568 00:21:37,641 --> 00:21:39,161 I can't get up. 569 00:21:41,561 --> 00:21:43,201 (SIGHS) 570 00:21:43,201 --> 00:21:45,681 Thank you so much for your patience, Gina. 571 00:21:45,681 --> 00:21:45,921 Thank you so much We'll see you back here at 3:00. 572 00:21:45,921 --> 00:21:48,161 We'll see you back here at 3:00. 573 00:21:48,161 --> 00:21:49,921 See you at 3:00. 574 00:21:50,881 --> 00:21:52,521 Really, Helen? 575 00:21:52,521 --> 00:21:53,801 A beanbag? 576 00:21:53,801 --> 00:21:56,281 And toilet paper? What were you thinking?! 577 00:21:56,281 --> 00:21:58,521 Yeah, I made some really bad choices. 578 00:21:59,721 --> 00:22:02,521 I'm gonna go pick up my stuff, but you owe me, Webmaster. 579 00:22:05,041 --> 00:22:08,281 See? This is why I can't take time off, Raymond. 580 00:22:08,281 --> 00:22:11,161 Toilet paper and a beanbag. Good God! 581 00:22:11,161 --> 00:22:13,401 Did someone take a crap on a beanbag? 582 00:22:13,401 --> 00:22:13,641 Did someone Was it not labelled? 583 00:22:13,641 --> 00:22:15,121 Was it not labelled? 584 00:22:15,121 --> 00:22:15,361 You might want to Was it not labelled? 585 00:22:15,361 --> 00:22:17,041 You might want to get onto that, Roz. 586 00:22:28,321 --> 00:22:29,801 Oh, come on. 587 00:22:48,161 --> 00:22:49,241 (TYRES SCREECH) 588 00:23:02,681 --> 00:23:04,921 Alrighty. Ooh, good. Is that Alan Munster? 589 00:23:04,921 --> 00:23:07,561 Yep. Great. I will take him. 590 00:23:07,561 --> 00:23:09,881 And this is for you. It's from the place downstairs. 591 00:23:09,881 --> 00:23:12,441 Thank you, George. Taste the deception. 592 00:23:12,441 --> 00:23:12,681 Thank you, George. All is forgiven. Uh... 593 00:23:12,681 --> 00:23:13,801 All is forgiven. Uh... 594 00:23:13,801 --> 00:23:14,041 Did you get the deli meats All is forgiven. Uh... 595 00:23:14,041 --> 00:23:15,961 Did you get the deli meats and the lavash for the meeting? 596 00:23:15,961 --> 00:23:16,201 Did you get the deli meats Sure did. 597 00:23:16,201 --> 00:23:17,401 Sure did. 598 00:23:17,401 --> 00:23:18,681 Close enough. 599 00:23:18,681 --> 00:23:22,641 And...I got this fancy cheeseboard. 600 00:23:22,641 --> 00:23:23,841 Wow. 601 00:23:23,841 --> 00:23:25,001 You're a real cheese wizard. 602 00:23:25,001 --> 00:23:27,081 Thank you. And that is dead-fancy. 603 00:23:27,081 --> 00:23:29,321 Bob's gonna love that. Alright, pop that in the meeting room. 604 00:23:29,321 --> 00:23:29,561 Bob's gonna love that. Alright, I'll deal with Alan. 605 00:23:29,561 --> 00:23:30,841 I'll deal with Alan. 606 00:23:40,961 --> 00:23:42,001 Cheese? 607 00:24:20,161 --> 00:24:21,561 (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) 608 00:24:31,401 --> 00:24:34,641 (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) 609 00:24:38,841 --> 00:24:39,921 (TRAM BELL RINGS) 610 00:24:40,881 --> 00:24:43,801 Ugh...don't you even speak to me! Don't panic, no, don't panic. 611 00:24:43,801 --> 00:24:45,561 Where is Roz?! No, don't tell... 612 00:24:45,561 --> 00:24:45,801 Where is Roz?! Don't' tell Roz, don't tell Roz. 613 00:24:45,801 --> 00:24:47,001 Don't' tell Roz, don't tell Roz. 614 00:24:47,001 --> 00:24:47,241 I won't be paying my bill. You Don't' tell Roz, don't tell Roz. 615 00:24:47,241 --> 00:24:50,161 I won't be paying my bill. You promised me this wouldn't happen. 616 00:24:50,161 --> 00:24:50,401 I won't be paying my bill. You Gina, I am so sorry. 617 00:24:50,401 --> 00:24:51,641 Gina, I am so sorry. 618 00:24:51,641 --> 00:24:53,361 Helen, I thought you were gonna sort this out. 619 00:24:53,361 --> 00:24:54,681 I did! You didn't. 620 00:24:54,681 --> 00:24:57,521 You gave that woman five grams of my father's ashes. 621 00:24:57,521 --> 00:24:59,441 I gave that woman five grams of ashes. 622 00:24:59,441 --> 00:25:01,961 I did not give her your father's ashes. 623 00:25:01,961 --> 00:25:02,881 What? 624 00:25:02,881 --> 00:25:04,841 Oh, my God, Helen, what have you done? 625 00:25:04,841 --> 00:25:09,001 You said, "Helen, you better not give that woman any of her ashes." 626 00:25:09,001 --> 00:25:12,321 Yes. And I meant you had better construct a solid legal argument 627 00:25:12,321 --> 00:25:12,561 Yes. And I meant you had better for not handing over any ashes. 628 00:25:12,561 --> 00:25:14,801 for not handing over any ashes. 629 00:25:14,801 --> 00:25:18,161 OK. Well, I realise that now. 630 00:25:18,161 --> 00:25:20,641 At the time, it did sound a lot more like, 631 00:25:20,641 --> 00:25:22,761 "Helen, you better not give her any of those ashes, 632 00:25:22,761 --> 00:25:24,281 "if you know what I mean." Wink-wink. 633 00:25:24,281 --> 00:25:26,361 Is that supposed to be me? 634 00:25:27,801 --> 00:25:29,801 OK, get ready to say, "Well done, Helen," 635 00:25:29,801 --> 00:25:30,041 OK, get ready to say, because that's not Dad. 636 00:25:30,041 --> 00:25:32,721 because that's not Dad. 637 00:25:32,721 --> 00:25:33,761 (GASPS SOFTLY) 638 00:25:35,401 --> 00:25:37,081 Here he is! 639 00:25:37,081 --> 00:25:38,681 All of him! 640 00:25:38,681 --> 00:25:41,441 But what...what if she has the ashes you gave her tested? 641 00:25:41,441 --> 00:25:41,681 But what...what if she Oh, it doesn't matter - bone is bone. 642 00:25:41,681 --> 00:25:43,321 Oh, it doesn't matter - bone is bone. 643 00:25:43,321 --> 00:25:43,561 Bone? Oh, it doesn't matter - bone is bone. 644 00:25:43,561 --> 00:25:46,041 Bone? Oh, my God, is that another person? 645 00:25:46,041 --> 00:25:46,281 Bone? No, of course it isn't. 646 00:25:46,281 --> 00:25:47,761 No, of course it isn't. 647 00:25:47,761 --> 00:25:50,361 Sorry, can I just say? This is not how I thought this was gonna go. 648 00:25:50,361 --> 00:25:52,481 I genuinely thought everyone would be really happy. 649 00:25:52,481 --> 00:25:52,721 I genuinely thought I mean...there's your dad. 650 00:25:52,721 --> 00:25:54,561 I mean...there's your dad. 651 00:25:54,561 --> 00:25:56,441 Every last gram of him. All for you. 652 00:25:56,441 --> 00:25:57,961 You're welcome. 653 00:26:00,121 --> 00:26:02,161 Good result. 654 00:26:02,161 --> 00:26:04,601 Thank you, Roz. Finally. 655 00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:13,761 Do I need to be worried? 656 00:26:13,761 --> 00:26:15,361 Oh...maybe. 657 00:26:15,361 --> 00:26:15,601 George put it together, Oh...maybe. 658 00:26:15,601 --> 00:26:17,521 George put it together, so I don't know how stable it is. 659 00:26:17,521 --> 00:26:17,761 George put it together, About the ashes you gave Kellie-Joy. 660 00:26:17,761 --> 00:26:19,321 About the ashes you gave Kellie-Joy. 661 00:26:19,321 --> 00:26:22,321 No, I think we're good. Human bone, animal bone... 662 00:26:22,321 --> 00:26:24,561 Animal? Oh, no, Fisk, you didn't kill your cat? 663 00:26:24,561 --> 00:26:25,801 I don't have a cat. 664 00:26:25,801 --> 00:26:27,041 Anymore. 665 00:26:27,041 --> 00:26:28,921 It wasn't a cat. Was it a dog? 666 00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:31,001 It wasn't a... You know what? I don't wanna know. 667 00:26:31,001 --> 00:26:31,761 Guinea pig? 668 00:26:31,761 --> 00:26:33,321 Why do I even... Don't tell me. 669 00:26:33,321 --> 00:26:35,401 Don't make me complicit. Was it a pigeon? 670 00:26:35,401 --> 00:26:36,841 It wasn't a pigeon. OK, you know what? 671 00:26:36,841 --> 00:26:39,921 Let's just say if she wants to get a tattoo she should get a possum, 672 00:26:39,921 --> 00:26:41,401 a mangy one with a head wound. 673 00:26:43,161 --> 00:26:44,881 Well, let's leave it at that. 674 00:26:53,961 --> 00:26:55,241 No, Helen! (SCREAMS) 675 00:26:55,241 --> 00:26:56,841 Don't drink that! Why not?! 676 00:26:56,841 --> 00:26:59,881 Oh, I got you this good coffee, just...from downstairs. 677 00:27:22,601 --> 00:27:24,601 Captions by Red Bee Media 678 00:27:24,601 --> 00:27:26,801 Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation