1
00:00:01,046 --> 00:00:04,166
(BIRDS TWITTER, DOG BARKS)

2
00:00:04,166 --> 00:00:06,526
(CROCKERY CLANKS)

3
00:00:07,846 --> 00:00:10,526
(CLANKING CONTINUES)

4
00:00:18,246 --> 00:00:19,686
(ARTIE WHIMPERS)

5
00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:21,726
(BLENDER WHIRRS)
May, I'm doing juice.

6
00:00:21,726 --> 00:00:23,166
Do you want juice?

7
00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:25,806
What?
Juice? Do you want juice?

8
00:00:25,806 --> 00:00:29,486
No. And don't use the juicer,
you'll wake Helen.

9
00:00:29,486 --> 00:00:30,806
What?!

10
00:00:35,326 --> 00:00:38,766
(BENDER WHIRRS LOUDLY)

11
00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:57,886
Morning, Helen.
How was your weekend?

12
00:00:57,886 --> 00:00:59,486
Yeah. Good, thanks.

13
00:00:59,486 --> 00:01:00,926
What did you get up to?

14
00:01:00,926 --> 00:01:03,046
Um...made some pretty good soup.

15
00:01:03,046 --> 00:01:05,446
That's nice.
Yeah.

16
00:01:05,446 --> 00:01:08,366
Brought the leftovers for lunch.
Good for you.

17
00:01:10,806 --> 00:01:11,806
Is that all?

18
00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:16,046
I don't know, do you have any
questions for me about my weekend?

19
00:01:17,726 --> 00:01:19,126
No. I don't think so.

20
00:01:21,166 --> 00:01:22,726
Alright, then.

21
00:01:25,646 --> 00:01:26,646
What was that about?

22
00:01:26,646 --> 00:01:28,286
Maybe she wanted some of your soup.

23
00:01:29,726 --> 00:01:31,286
Maybe. It's pretty good soup.

24
00:01:35,566 --> 00:01:37,326
RAYMOND: Hey, Fisk, you busy?

25
00:01:37,326 --> 00:01:39,046
Ooh, I feel like
that's a trick question.

26
00:01:39,046 --> 00:01:41,286
If I say no,
you'll wonder why I'm not busy.

27
00:01:41,286 --> 00:01:42,806
If I say yes, you'll think I'm rude,

28
00:01:42,806 --> 00:01:44,926
'cause I'm kind of saying,
"Get out of my office, I'm busy."

29
00:01:44,926 --> 00:01:46,126
You finished?
Yep.

30
00:01:46,126 --> 00:01:48,326
There's a Popovitch coming in
at 11:00. I want you to take it.

31
00:01:48,326 --> 00:01:50,326
A whatavitch?
Popovitch.

32
00:01:50,326 --> 00:01:51,726
Might want to hide your purse.

33
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:55,686
Purse? I'm not an old woman.
Who says 'purse'?

34
00:01:55,686 --> 00:01:57,646
Raymond,
I need you to hide my purse.

35
00:01:57,646 --> 00:01:59,726
There's a Popovitch coming in.

36
00:02:03,286 --> 00:02:05,366
GEORGE: Don't really know
about the social...

37
00:02:05,366 --> 00:02:07,286
One of each...
Yeah.

38
00:02:07,286 --> 00:02:08,766
(DOOR OPENS)

39
00:02:11,526 --> 00:02:12,526
Hey.

40
00:02:12,526 --> 00:02:14,206
Don't look now

41
00:02:14,206 --> 00:02:16,446
but I think there's a clown
in reception.

42
00:02:16,446 --> 00:02:17,846
Is it someone's birthday?

43
00:02:17,846 --> 00:02:19,046
I said don't look now.

44
00:02:19,046 --> 00:02:21,406
That's Eileen Popovitch.
She's your 11 o'clock.

45
00:02:21,406 --> 00:02:24,526
Is she circus folk? Fun.

46
00:02:24,526 --> 00:02:26,006
Hi.

47
00:02:29,446 --> 00:02:31,526
Alright. Miss Popovitch,

48
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,806
So, I do understand...

49
00:02:33,806 --> 00:02:35,246
Unfortunate...

50
00:02:35,246 --> 00:02:37,166
..ly.

51
00:02:37,166 --> 00:02:38,166
I...

52
00:02:40,286 --> 00:02:45,086
Sorry, I think you accidentally
dropped the spoon into your...

53
00:02:45,086 --> 00:02:46,606
..purse.
Pardon?

54
00:02:46,606 --> 00:02:48,486
Never mind.

55
00:02:48,486 --> 00:02:49,966
What I was saying, the problem is

56
00:02:49,966 --> 00:02:53,046
I can't grant you power of attorney
without your mother being present.

57
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:54,646
But she's demented.
Right.

58
00:02:54,646 --> 00:02:57,046
And is that
why you want this authority?

59
00:02:57,046 --> 00:02:59,326
So that you can make decisions
about her health and wellbeing?

60
00:02:59,326 --> 00:03:03,126
No, no. I need to make the decisions
about money.

61
00:03:03,126 --> 00:03:05,726
She can't be trusted.
She's demented.

62
00:03:05,726 --> 00:03:08,566
OK. Well, whether your mother
is demented or has dementia,

63
00:03:08,566 --> 00:03:11,406
which I believe
is the preferred way of saying it,

64
00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:13,126
I can't do anything...

65
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:15,246
We...
I'm sorry. We need to...

66
00:03:15,246 --> 00:03:16,326
That's my...

67
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:18,206
That's my diary. So...

68
00:03:18,206 --> 00:03:19,886
Did you want to make
another appointment?

69
00:03:19,886 --> 00:03:21,606
Yes. Let's make another appointment.

70
00:03:21,606 --> 00:03:22,926
Yeah.

71
00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:24,526
And then you can give me
power of attorney.

72
00:03:24,526 --> 00:03:25,606
We'll get your mother in

73
00:03:25,606 --> 00:03:28,566
and you can just help yourself
to some...

74
00:03:28,566 --> 00:03:31,206
..free stationery items
to go with your free teaspoon.

75
00:03:45,966 --> 00:03:47,846
Hey.
Hello, Helen.

76
00:03:47,846 --> 00:03:49,246
Hello, Roz.

77
00:03:49,246 --> 00:03:50,926
How's your morning been?
Good, thanks.

78
00:03:52,246 --> 00:03:54,086
Sorry, did you want
to use the microwave?

79
00:03:54,086 --> 00:03:57,166
No, no. I'm just saying hello,
having a friendly chat.

80
00:03:57,166 --> 00:03:58,926
There's nothing wrong with that,
is there?

81
00:03:58,926 --> 00:03:59,926
No.

82
00:04:00,246 --> 00:04:02,406
Sorry. I just thought we'd already
had our chat this morning,

83
00:04:02,406 --> 00:04:04,966
remember in reception
about the soup and the...

84
00:04:04,966 --> 00:04:06,566
..weekend and stuff.

85
00:04:06,566 --> 00:04:09,326
There's no statute of limitations
on friendly chitchat, Helen.

86
00:04:10,366 --> 00:04:13,126
Put a cover on that
before you put it in the microwave.

87
00:04:13,126 --> 00:04:14,606
Will do.

88
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,446
Good morning, fine sir.

89
00:04:28,446 --> 00:04:30,446
I am looking
for one Ms Helen Tudor-Fisk.

90
00:04:30,446 --> 00:04:32,126
Nice office.

91
00:04:32,126 --> 00:04:35,446
I'm just going
to pop a few of these down.

92
00:04:35,446 --> 00:04:37,406
I'm doing a festival nearby.

93
00:04:37,406 --> 00:04:39,846
You might want to come.
Yeah. Have one for yourself.

94
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,006
Tell your friends.

95
00:04:41,006 --> 00:04:45,246
'Cause we need ticket sales to go up
as well a little bit.

96
00:04:45,246 --> 00:04:48,286
Hey, there's a guy called William
in reception to see you.

97
00:04:48,286 --> 00:04:50,566
He says he knows you.
Oh, not William Ford?

98
00:04:50,566 --> 00:04:51,806
He just said William.

99
00:04:51,806 --> 00:04:53,646
Handsome black guy?
I don't know.

100
00:04:53,646 --> 00:04:55,726
You don't know if he's black
or you don't know if he's handsome?

101
00:04:55,726 --> 00:04:57,966
Both. I don't see colour,
or handsome.

102
00:04:57,966 --> 00:04:59,926
Do you see age?

103
00:04:59,926 --> 00:05:01,046
How old do you reckon he was?

104
00:05:01,046 --> 00:05:03,526
Pretty old.
I reckon maybe, like, 40?

105
00:05:03,526 --> 00:05:05,006
Wow. That's so old.

106
00:05:05,006 --> 00:05:07,886
Did he seem up himself?
Yes. Definitely.

107
00:05:07,886 --> 00:05:09,726
He called me "fine sir".
(UNDER HER BREATH) Shit.

108
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:13,126
Fisk, I just met your ex-husband
in reception.

109
00:05:13,126 --> 00:05:14,726
He's quite the good-looking rooster.

110
00:05:14,726 --> 00:05:16,366
Mmm...

111
00:05:22,326 --> 00:05:24,886
Helen.
Nah. Nah.

112
00:05:24,886 --> 00:05:26,926
Come on. Out of here.

113
00:05:26,926 --> 00:05:28,526
OK.

114
00:05:32,246 --> 00:05:33,766
A little...friendly hug?

115
00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:35,406
Why are you here? What do you want?

116
00:05:35,406 --> 00:05:37,486
Oh, God.
That's my boss. Get over here.

117
00:05:37,486 --> 00:05:38,686
It's lovely to see you, too, Helen.

118
00:05:38,686 --> 00:05:40,566
I'm actually here
for the literary festival.

119
00:05:40,566 --> 00:05:42,966
I have some complimentary passes.

120
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:44,926
Oh, please. As if. No.

121
00:05:44,926 --> 00:05:45,966
Quickly, what do you need?

122
00:05:45,966 --> 00:05:48,486
I was going through a few things
and I found this.

123
00:05:48,486 --> 00:05:50,966
I ordered it for your birthday
last year, but, well, you know...

124
00:05:50,966 --> 00:05:52,606
Then you left me for an older woman.
I remember.

125
00:05:52,606 --> 00:05:54,246
To be fair, Hels,
you're an older woman.

126
00:05:54,246 --> 00:05:56,246
Oh, h... I'm not 63.

127
00:05:56,246 --> 00:05:58,486
God, you two
are like Harold and Maude.

128
00:05:58,486 --> 00:06:00,606
Oh, that's showing your age.
Oh, here it is.

129
00:06:02,046 --> 00:06:05,646
Oh... OK. Well, now I feel bad.

130
00:06:05,646 --> 00:06:07,606
That is really nice.
It is, isn't it?

131
00:06:07,606 --> 00:06:08,606
Hey, can we get a coffee?

132
00:06:08,606 --> 00:06:10,486
There's a few things
I need to talk to you about.

133
00:06:10,486 --> 00:06:12,286
No. I can't.
Hels, please, can we get a coffee?

134
00:06:12,286 --> 00:06:14,566
I just want to get a coffee.
I can't. I'm banned.

135
00:06:14,566 --> 00:06:15,726
Oh, of course you are.

136
00:06:15,726 --> 00:06:17,646
Did you suggest there
should be a limit of three takeaways

137
00:06:17,646 --> 00:06:18,726
per customer?

138
00:06:18,726 --> 00:06:20,286
No. But that should
absolutely be the rule

139
00:06:20,286 --> 00:06:21,646
especially during busy times.

140
00:06:21,646 --> 00:06:23,206
Ooh, I know, did you suggest
to the barista

141
00:06:23,206 --> 00:06:25,086
that it's easier
to froth and talk at the same time?

142
00:06:25,086 --> 00:06:26,926
Again, not an unreasonable
suggestion, you know?

143
00:06:26,926 --> 00:06:28,526
I'm not saying
you can't chat to customers,

144
00:06:28,526 --> 00:06:30,846
just keep the line moving, talk
and froth, people, talk and froth.

145
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:32,526
Oh, I know.
Did you tell him that his...

146
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:35,446
Hey. Hey. Could you just get us
some takeaways?

147
00:06:35,446 --> 00:06:36,846
Yeah. OK.
Thank you.

148
00:06:36,846 --> 00:06:39,366
Oh, hey, I don't...
I don't have my wallet.

149
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,486
There you go. Use my money.

150
00:06:43,726 --> 00:06:44,726
It's your favourite.

151
00:06:44,726 --> 00:06:46,446
I'll pay you back.
Ooh, I bet.

152
00:06:53,366 --> 00:06:55,006
I think it would be a terrific way
to cut through.

153
00:06:55,006 --> 00:06:58,046
People love videos on the internet.
Yeah.

154
00:06:58,046 --> 00:06:59,926
I'm not sure
people love probate law videos.

155
00:06:59,926 --> 00:07:01,926
Maybe if we did a cat video or...?

156
00:07:01,926 --> 00:07:03,806
Ray, I was just saying

157
00:07:03,806 --> 00:07:06,486
I think Gruber & Gruber
should do a promotional video.

158
00:07:06,486 --> 00:07:07,806
Maybe with a cat in it?

159
00:07:07,806 --> 00:07:09,646
Won't be doing anything
for Gruber & Gruber.

160
00:07:09,646 --> 00:07:12,166
Just found out we can't trade under
that name while you're suspended.

161
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,926
Can you get on to that, George?

162
00:07:13,926 --> 00:07:16,166
Knock one of those Grubers off
for me, mate?

163
00:07:16,166 --> 00:07:17,566
Oh, no.
You'll need a ladder.

164
00:07:17,566 --> 00:07:19,206
And you might want to start
with the second one.

165
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:22,366
Other it would be "& Gruber",
which would look ridiculous.

166
00:07:24,886 --> 00:07:26,246
Yeah. I know.

167
00:07:26,246 --> 00:07:28,446
I know. I know. It's our dream.

168
00:07:33,206 --> 00:07:35,926
I want shared custody of Arthur.

169
00:07:35,926 --> 00:07:37,886
OK. It's 'Artie'.

170
00:07:37,886 --> 00:07:40,366
And how would that work?
You live in Sydney.

171
00:07:40,366 --> 00:07:42,566
Well, six months on, six months off.
(CHUCKLES)

172
00:07:44,326 --> 00:07:45,726
Oh, my God, you're serious?

173
00:07:45,726 --> 00:07:48,126
You just took him.
We never discussed it.

174
00:07:48,126 --> 00:07:49,926
Yeah. He's my dog.

175
00:07:49,926 --> 00:07:52,526
You can't be content
with just taking the house

176
00:07:52,526 --> 00:07:53,766
and my self esteem?

177
00:07:53,766 --> 00:07:57,086
You don't get it.
I'm an artist, he's my muse.

178
00:07:57,086 --> 00:07:58,246
Well, he's a pretty shit muse.

179
00:07:58,246 --> 00:07:59,966
You haven't written anything
for 10 years.

180
00:07:59,966 --> 00:08:00,966
Hurtful.

181
00:08:00,966 --> 00:08:01,966
Alright.

182
00:08:01,966 --> 00:08:05,166
There hasn't been another novel,
but I've been doing a lot of poetry,

183
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:06,646
there's been some journaling,

184
00:08:06,646 --> 00:08:07,966
I'm doing a lot of talks
at the library.

185
00:08:07,966 --> 00:08:10,966
Wow. All inspired by my dog?
Our dog.

186
00:08:10,966 --> 00:08:14,006
I bought him, remember?
For me. You bought him for me.

187
00:08:14,006 --> 00:08:15,326
With my money.

188
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,366
Have you still got my wallet?

189
00:08:22,566 --> 00:08:24,006
Oh... Sorry.

190
00:08:24,006 --> 00:08:25,406
I forgot.

191
00:08:26,446 --> 00:08:28,446
Can I get the receipt for...

192
00:08:28,446 --> 00:08:30,846
I can claim it. It's a business...

193
00:08:33,646 --> 00:08:35,286
Gentle. Gentle.

194
00:08:35,286 --> 00:08:36,926
Is that a butterknife?

195
00:08:36,926 --> 00:08:39,446
(CLANG!)
Hello, Helen.

196
00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:41,646
Oh, hello, Roz.

197
00:08:41,646 --> 00:08:44,086
How's the weather out there?
It's very good, thanks.

198
00:08:45,246 --> 00:08:48,246
And how is the weather with you?
What does that mean?

199
00:08:49,086 --> 00:08:50,606
Have you chipped that?

200
00:08:50,606 --> 00:08:52,526
Only exterior.

201
00:08:55,006 --> 00:08:57,166
Yeah.
But why do I have to do chitchat

202
00:08:57,166 --> 00:08:59,046
every time I pass her in the office?

203
00:08:59,046 --> 00:09:01,086
It's a tiny office.
MAY: It's polite.

204
00:09:01,086 --> 00:09:02,366
It's what people do, Helen.

205
00:09:02,366 --> 00:09:04,646
Well, sorry, mate,
I don't have that much chitchat.

206
00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:06,446
Yeah. Course you do.
Nah.

207
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,286
You could ask,
how'd you sleep last night?

208
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,646
Or, what's on for the weekend or...
Bored.

209
00:09:10,646 --> 00:09:12,606
Have you got any suggestions,
Graham?

210
00:09:12,606 --> 00:09:14,526
Did you know
that many European countries

211
00:09:14,526 --> 00:09:16,766
enjoy their main meal of the day
at lunchtime?

212
00:09:16,766 --> 00:09:20,166
No. No. That's not chitchat.
That's a fun fact.

213
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:21,806
I think that's more just a fact, May.

214
00:09:21,806 --> 00:09:23,446
It's got to be casual, like,

215
00:09:23,446 --> 00:09:25,646
"Ooh, I notice you're drinking
Earl Grey tea, how delicious.

216
00:09:25,646 --> 00:09:27,766
"But have you tried
French Earl Grey?

217
00:09:27,766 --> 00:09:29,366
"'Cause it's a little more subtle."
See?

218
00:09:29,366 --> 00:09:30,566
OK. Let me try again.

219
00:09:30,566 --> 00:09:32,886
Did you know
that wombat poo is square?

220
00:09:32,886 --> 00:09:35,606
No. Stop. See,
you can't start with "did you know",

221
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:37,086
because that's not chit...

222
00:09:37,086 --> 00:09:38,286
Is their poo really square?

223
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,286
Guys, I'm actually quite tired.

224
00:09:40,286 --> 00:09:41,726
Do you mind if I go to bed?

225
00:09:41,726 --> 00:09:43,246
Yeah. Of course.

226
00:09:43,246 --> 00:09:45,526
Actually, you do look very tired,
sweetie. You should go to bed.

227
00:09:50,086 --> 00:09:53,086
It's just...you're on my bed
'cause I'm sleeping on your sofa.

228
00:09:53,086 --> 00:09:56,246
Which is very kind of you.
But it means you have to...

229
00:09:56,246 --> 00:09:59,206
..get out of my room,
and I'm sending you to bed.

230
00:09:59,206 --> 00:10:01,246
Go to bed.

231
00:10:01,246 --> 00:10:03,686
Be like toddlers. Go on.

232
00:10:07,726 --> 00:10:09,446
Ready? Go.

233
00:10:13,326 --> 00:10:15,166
Good boy.

234
00:10:23,566 --> 00:10:25,966
Come on in. Let me show you around.

235
00:10:25,966 --> 00:10:30,126
Here at Gruber & Associates,
we specialise in wills and probate.

236
00:10:30,126 --> 00:10:31,806
Whether you're looking for a will

237
00:10:31,806 --> 00:10:33,246
or a Helen... Helen?

238
00:10:34,006 --> 00:10:36,326
Morning Roz.

239
00:10:36,326 --> 00:10:38,446
Did you sleep well?
Get out of my shot.

240
00:10:38,446 --> 00:10:40,126
Keep moving. I'm working.

241
00:10:40,126 --> 00:10:42,566
Keep walking. Go. Go. Go. Out.

242
00:10:42,566 --> 00:10:44,406
I slept very well, thank you.

243
00:10:44,406 --> 00:10:46,006
Morning, George.
Always good to chat.

244
00:10:46,006 --> 00:10:47,486
Start again.

245
00:10:47,486 --> 00:10:49,286
Here.

246
00:10:49,286 --> 00:10:52,046
Don't look at yourself, Roz,
look at the barrel, down the barrel.

247
00:10:52,046 --> 00:10:53,766
Is that there or there?
I think it's there.

248
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:02,526
I've just got
a couple of teas for you there.

249
00:11:02,526 --> 00:11:03,726
If you need a spoon,

250
00:11:03,726 --> 00:11:06,126
there's probably one in your bag
from last time.

251
00:11:06,126 --> 00:11:09,566
And I might just take that back
to reception, I think, Mrs Popovitch.

252
00:11:09,566 --> 00:11:11,326
No, no. Finders keepers.

253
00:11:11,326 --> 00:11:13,046
Yep. Yep.
Well, I find it, I'm keeping it.

254
00:11:16,606 --> 00:11:18,326
OK. Hide that.

255
00:11:18,326 --> 00:11:19,926
What are these...?
Who put these here?

256
00:11:19,926 --> 00:11:22,526
The old guy, the "fine sir" guy,
asked if he could put them there.

257
00:11:22,526 --> 00:11:24,286
Oh, no way. That's not happening.

258
00:11:25,686 --> 00:11:27,006
(WHISPERS) Helen.
Yeah.

259
00:11:27,006 --> 00:11:28,526
Can you frisk Mrs Popovitch?

260
00:11:28,526 --> 00:11:30,966
I think she's got the lucky
waving cat in her pocket.

261
00:11:30,966 --> 00:11:32,886
No. I'm not going to cavity search
an old woman.

262
00:11:32,886 --> 00:11:35,486
Cavity search?
It's not in her prison pocket.

263
00:11:41,406 --> 00:11:42,846
Alright.

264
00:11:42,846 --> 00:11:44,446
OK...

265
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:47,006
Finders keepers.

266
00:11:47,006 --> 00:11:50,046
Sure. Knock yourself out.
You can have all those.

267
00:11:50,046 --> 00:11:51,366
Now, Mrs Popovitch, have you agreed

268
00:11:51,366 --> 00:11:53,526
to grant your daughter
power of attorney?

269
00:11:53,526 --> 00:11:54,806
Yes. She has.
No. I haven't.

270
00:11:54,806 --> 00:11:56,806
OK. Now, she's just said she hasn't.

271
00:11:56,806 --> 00:11:58,086
She doesn't understand.

272
00:11:58,086 --> 00:12:00,006
Let me tell her.
OK.

273
00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:04,046
I'm getting power of attorney today,
Mother, remember? We agreed.

274
00:12:04,046 --> 00:12:05,046
OK.

275
00:12:06,086 --> 00:12:09,086
Do you understand what power
of attorney means, Mrs Popovitch?

276
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:10,526
Yes. I do.

277
00:12:10,526 --> 00:12:13,926
She wants my money
because she's addicted to the eBay.

278
00:12:15,206 --> 00:12:18,526
Do you know what eBay is?
It's the devil's department store.

279
00:12:18,526 --> 00:12:20,206
Don't say that about eBay.

280
00:12:21,566 --> 00:12:22,726
I'll let...

281
00:12:22,726 --> 00:12:24,686
Oh... No. No.

282
00:12:24,686 --> 00:12:27,086
No. No. No. No. Can't have that.
That's my phone.

283
00:12:27,086 --> 00:12:28,286
I like the dog.

284
00:12:28,286 --> 00:12:31,366
Well, you know what? You can have
the dog. I don't care about that bit.

285
00:12:31,366 --> 00:12:32,406
There you go.

286
00:12:32,406 --> 00:12:33,966
Finders keepers.

287
00:12:33,966 --> 00:12:35,966
Is that your dog?
Yeah. That's my dog.

288
00:12:35,966 --> 00:12:37,326
Best dog in the world. That's Artie.

289
00:12:37,326 --> 00:12:39,286
I used to have a dog.
Aww...

290
00:12:39,286 --> 00:12:41,326
No...
She didn't. OK.

291
00:12:41,326 --> 00:12:43,686
Eileen, do you have
a medical certificate

292
00:12:43,686 --> 00:12:45,486
that says your mother has dementia?

293
00:12:45,486 --> 00:12:46,566
Yes.

294
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,246
OK. Well, can I see that?

295
00:12:48,246 --> 00:12:49,486
No. She ate it.

296
00:12:49,486 --> 00:12:50,966
I didn't.
You did, Mother.

297
00:12:50,966 --> 00:12:52,486
You just don't remember.

298
00:12:52,486 --> 00:12:55,046
OK. Let's just stop for a minute.
Can I ask your mother a question?

299
00:12:55,046 --> 00:12:57,606
Do you know what day it is today,
Mrs Popovitch?

300
00:12:57,606 --> 00:12:59,606
No, she doesn't.
OK. I'm not asking... Just, let's...

301
00:12:59,606 --> 00:13:01,126
Let her answer.
Tuesday.

302
00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,366
Good. OK.

303
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,366
Now, was that just a lucky guess?
Yes.

304
00:13:04,366 --> 00:13:05,446
OK.

305
00:13:05,446 --> 00:13:08,206
She thinks every day is Tuesday.

306
00:13:10,926 --> 00:13:13,646
Do you make many conference calls,
Mrs Popovitch?

307
00:13:13,646 --> 00:13:14,646
Mm-hm.

308
00:13:14,646 --> 00:13:16,366
Alright.

309
00:13:16,366 --> 00:13:17,766
Calling lots of people?

310
00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:19,526
Pope Francis.

311
00:13:19,526 --> 00:13:21,326
Is he a good friend?

312
00:13:21,326 --> 00:13:23,806
Mmm.
Yes.

313
00:13:26,686 --> 00:13:28,606
Let's have a look, Roz.

314
00:13:28,606 --> 00:13:30,406
Come on in. Let me show you around.

315
00:13:30,406 --> 00:13:33,206
Need a will?
You've come to the right place.

316
00:13:33,206 --> 00:13:37,526
Here at Gruber & Associates
we specialise in wills and probate.

317
00:13:37,526 --> 00:13:41,926
And this, right here, is our
'state of the heart' meeting room.

318
00:13:41,926 --> 00:13:44,126
And, yes, you heard me right.

319
00:13:44,126 --> 00:13:45,646
I said "state of the heart"

320
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:48,486
Jesus Roz, I've got motion sickness.

321
00:13:48,486 --> 00:13:50,206
Well, I had to film it myself.

322
00:13:50,206 --> 00:13:51,686
Yeah. I'm glad you're keeping busy.

323
00:13:51,686 --> 00:13:53,486
But the problem is you can't
be the face of the company.

324
00:13:53,486 --> 00:13:54,606
Fine, then you do it.

325
00:13:54,606 --> 00:13:56,126
I can't do it either.

326
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:59,406
Our whole angle is the mature lady.
It has to be a woman.

327
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:02,126
Ask Fisk to do it.
Helen can not be the face.

328
00:14:02,126 --> 00:14:03,926
Why not? She's a woman,
she's got a face.

329
00:14:03,926 --> 00:14:07,086
Raymond, she always looks unhappy.
She never smiles.

330
00:14:07,086 --> 00:14:11,766
No, I think it's just
that thing, what's it called?

331
00:14:11,766 --> 00:14:13,606
Angry lady face.

332
00:14:13,606 --> 00:14:15,646
You mean bitchy resting face.
Exactly.

333
00:14:15,646 --> 00:14:17,366
Yeah. What you're doing now.

334
00:14:17,366 --> 00:14:20,286
Your hair looks beautiful in this,
by the way.

335
00:14:20,286 --> 00:14:21,286
It does.

336
00:14:22,286 --> 00:14:23,846
That's your invoice.

337
00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:26,046
Invoice. Yes. Put it in the post.

338
00:14:26,046 --> 00:14:27,686
We enjoy getting post.

339
00:14:27,686 --> 00:14:28,966
No.

340
00:14:28,966 --> 00:14:31,166
Ray said they can't leave
without paying the bill.

341
00:14:31,166 --> 00:14:33,286
They're not all...
Where's the other one gone?

342
00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:36,086
No. No. No. No. No. Mrs Popovitch,
I'm going to take that from you.

343
00:14:36,086 --> 00:14:37,646
Just make her take it.

344
00:14:37,646 --> 00:14:38,686
Come on.

345
00:14:38,686 --> 00:14:41,046
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
That doesn't go...

346
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,766
No. Don't take the elephant.

347
00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:45,726
George, she needs to...

348
00:14:45,726 --> 00:14:47,886
She needs to pay that
before she leaves.

349
00:14:47,886 --> 00:14:48,966
No.

350
00:14:48,966 --> 00:14:51,646
No! Don't take the furniture.
Actually...

351
00:14:51,646 --> 00:14:53,006
OK?

352
00:14:53,006 --> 00:14:54,366
No. No. No.

353
00:14:55,646 --> 00:14:57,246
Really?
I like these.

354
00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:59,766
Do you?
Finders keepers.

355
00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:03,966
Do you want to give me a hand? Or are
you protecting the pamphlets?

356
00:15:03,966 --> 00:15:05,966
Yeah. I had to protect this area.

357
00:15:05,966 --> 00:15:08,846
You couldn't protect me
from the Darrell Lea ladies?

358
00:15:36,486 --> 00:15:38,166
I really don't want
to be on camera, Roz.

359
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:40,366
Oh, well, I don't want you
to be on camera either.

360
00:15:40,366 --> 00:15:44,286
But by the time I jazz it up
with some music and graphics

361
00:15:44,286 --> 00:15:45,726
we'll hardly notice you.

362
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:47,646
So...here, try and have a read.

363
00:15:47,646 --> 00:15:49,526
Try selling it to me.

364
00:15:49,526 --> 00:15:51,006
Here we go. And...

365
00:15:51,006 --> 00:15:52,566
Action.

366
00:15:53,606 --> 00:15:55,886
At Gruber & Associates we specialise
in wills and probate.

367
00:15:55,886 --> 00:15:58,206
Whether you need to make a will
or you've lost a loved one...

368
00:15:58,206 --> 00:15:59,966
Alright. Let me stop you.

369
00:15:59,966 --> 00:16:02,726
What is...? I mean, you look angry
or is it annoyed?

370
00:16:02,726 --> 00:16:05,406
Roz, it's just my face.
It's just my face.

371
00:16:05,406 --> 00:16:07,086
Try smiling.

372
00:16:08,926 --> 00:16:10,606
Add some teeth.

373
00:16:10,606 --> 00:16:12,526
Take the teeth away.

374
00:16:12,526 --> 00:16:14,966
No, now you just look constipated.

375
00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:16,726
Well, I eat a lot of cheese, Roz.

376
00:16:16,726 --> 00:16:18,086
So...

377
00:16:19,086 --> 00:16:20,806
..that's what happens.

378
00:16:27,166 --> 00:16:29,086
(PHONE RINGS)

379
00:16:31,206 --> 00:16:32,686
May? Graham?

380
00:16:34,046 --> 00:16:36,966
Hang on, shh, shh. I can't...

381
00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:40,566
Graham, tell May to shush, I can't
hear you. What are you saying?

382
00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:43,366
When? No. How long ago?

383
00:16:43,366 --> 00:16:45,126
Jesus Christ. OK.

384
00:16:45,126 --> 00:16:46,606
Graham, are you crying?

385
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:49,166
OK. Just calm down. Take a breath.

386
00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:51,966
Yeah. I'm leaving the office now.

387
00:16:51,966 --> 00:16:54,486
Alright? Just...
Hang on. I'll call you back.

388
00:16:55,566 --> 00:16:58,526
My portrait can stay up.
It doesn't say I'm partner.

389
00:16:58,526 --> 00:17:01,006
Ray, can I go, please? I have to...

390
00:17:02,286 --> 00:17:04,326
Oh, hi, Roz.
How is your afternoon going?

391
00:17:04,326 --> 00:17:05,966
How's the weather outside?

392
00:17:05,966 --> 00:17:07,406
Are you drinking tea?
Is that Earl Grey tea?

393
00:17:07,406 --> 00:17:08,926
Have you tried French Earl Grey tea?

394
00:17:08,926 --> 00:17:11,086
I believe it's a little more
subtle and therefore delicious

395
00:17:11,086 --> 00:17:12,086
Fisk.
Yeah.

396
00:17:12,086 --> 00:17:13,406
Are you having a stroke?
No.

397
00:17:13,406 --> 00:17:15,006
Do you know, many European...
George.

398
00:17:15,006 --> 00:17:17,086
I think she's stroking out.
No, I'm not. I'm chatting.

399
00:17:17,086 --> 00:17:18,926
You're really not.
What's the problem?

400
00:17:18,926 --> 00:17:21,206
Can I please leave early?
I have a family emergency.

401
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,766
Yes. Go. Please.
Thank you. Thank you.

402
00:17:26,566 --> 00:17:28,206
Do you have any plans
for this evening, Roz?

403
00:17:28,206 --> 00:17:29,566
Go.
Yep.

404
00:17:34,206 --> 00:17:36,966
To the left. Drop it.

405
00:17:41,846 --> 00:17:43,126
May, it's me. What's happening?

406
00:17:43,126 --> 00:17:44,806
I couldn't understand a word
Graham said.

407
00:17:44,806 --> 00:17:45,846
I'm so sorry, Helen.

408
00:17:45,846 --> 00:17:48,206
He said he was only going
to a half an hour.

409
00:17:48,206 --> 00:17:50,326
Oh, my God, have you got me on
speaker? One of you speak at a time.

410
00:17:50,326 --> 00:17:51,326
May, you talk.

411
00:17:51,326 --> 00:17:53,326
He said he was only going to be
in town for a couple of days

412
00:17:53,326 --> 00:17:55,166
and he wanted to take Artie
for a walk.

413
00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:56,966
It was William.
She knows it was William.

414
00:17:56,966 --> 00:17:59,766
He was wearing a checked shirt.
No. I would have said plaid.

415
00:17:59,766 --> 00:18:02,046
He looked very handsome.
I don't care what he was wearing.

416
00:18:02,046 --> 00:18:04,686
Just, what time was it?
When did he take him?

417
00:18:04,686 --> 00:18:06,766
Oh, about three hours ago.
Four hours ago.

418
00:18:06,766 --> 00:18:08,766
OK. It's fine. It's fine.
I know where he's going to be.

419
00:18:08,766 --> 00:18:11,006
No. I think it was more like three,
Helen.

420
00:18:11,006 --> 00:18:12,646
Helen?

421
00:18:12,646 --> 00:18:14,846
Oh, I think she's dropped out.
You'll have to call her back.

422
00:18:44,366 --> 00:18:45,606
Here we go.

423
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:51,646
Now, Akiko, your poetry
has been made into a film,

424
00:18:51,646 --> 00:18:54,206
can you speak to that experience?

425
00:18:54,206 --> 00:19:00,086
The film was a dialogue between
a mother and her unborn child.

426
00:19:00,086 --> 00:19:02,126
WOMAN: Helen. Helen. Helen.

427
00:19:02,126 --> 00:19:03,566
Helen.

428
00:19:03,566 --> 00:19:05,806
My poems were used
Helen.

429
00:19:05,806 --> 00:19:07,446
as the thoughts of the foetus.

430
00:19:07,446 --> 00:19:09,006
What a beautiful idea.
Helen.

431
00:19:09,006 --> 00:19:11,286
Go on.
Helen.

432
00:19:11,286 --> 00:19:12,806
Sorry, I...
Helen.

433
00:19:12,806 --> 00:19:15,086
Yes?
We got in for free.

434
00:19:15,086 --> 00:19:16,086
Did you? Good.

435
00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,646
No. I lost my train of thought.

436
00:19:18,846 --> 00:19:21,726
Take a moment
while I turn to William.

437
00:19:21,726 --> 00:19:25,006
William, your book
has won a lot of awards.

438
00:19:25,006 --> 00:19:27,046
Was it 14 in total?

439
00:19:27,046 --> 00:19:30,806
It was actually 15, Lindy,
if you include the FUBA,

440
00:19:30,806 --> 00:19:33,126
- the Favourite Ukrainian Book
Award.

441
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:36,046
(AFFECTS ACCENT) Apparently
I'm very popular in the Ukraine.

442
00:19:36,046 --> 00:19:38,286
(LAUGHTER)

443
00:19:39,726 --> 00:19:41,606
(MOCK LAUGHS)

444
00:19:41,606 --> 00:19:44,406
I think we've just found
the promo for our podcast.

445
00:19:44,406 --> 00:19:46,606
(LAUGHTER)

446
00:19:46,606 --> 00:19:49,086
I'm sorry, Madam,
we'll do questions at the end.

447
00:19:49,086 --> 00:19:52,606
William, could you
talk about the, uh, the process?

448
00:19:52,606 --> 00:19:55,286
Madam, could you please
put your hand down?

449
00:19:55,286 --> 00:19:57,046
Where's my dog?

450
00:19:57,046 --> 00:19:58,926
Quite the existential question.

451
00:19:58,926 --> 00:20:02,006
But as I am
this session's interlocutor,

452
00:20:02,006 --> 00:20:04,846
what I would like to know is...
William. Where's my dog?

453
00:20:04,846 --> 00:20:06,686
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Shh.
You shoosh.

454
00:20:06,686 --> 00:20:09,206
Valerie, have we called security?

455
00:20:09,206 --> 00:20:11,446
He's my dog. Where is he?
I want him back.

456
00:20:11,446 --> 00:20:13,166
It's still Tuesday, Helen.

457
00:20:13,166 --> 00:20:15,046
I know. Well done,
Mrs Popovitch, it is Tuesday.

458
00:20:15,046 --> 00:20:16,606
Madam.
Yeah. Alright.

459
00:20:16,606 --> 00:20:18,086
Valerie, is it?

460
00:20:18,086 --> 00:20:20,166
I might take this opportunity to...
I want my dog back.

461
00:20:20,166 --> 00:20:21,726
..continue the conversation.

462
00:20:21,726 --> 00:20:23,646
Yeah. Alright. Well, you go first.

463
00:20:23,646 --> 00:20:28,886
Perhaps to help us reset,
I might ask Akiko if you would

464
00:20:28,886 --> 00:20:32,526
improvise
one of your famous haikus for us?

465
00:20:32,526 --> 00:20:33,766
He's a dog thief.

466
00:20:33,766 --> 00:20:36,406
Why don't you put that
in your podcast? Arsehole.

467
00:20:36,406 --> 00:20:38,406
Not you, Lindy.

468
00:20:38,406 --> 00:20:39,846
Not you, Akiko.

469
00:20:39,846 --> 00:20:41,126
Just you.

470
00:20:41,126 --> 00:20:43,046
I'm going, Valerie. God.

471
00:20:43,046 --> 00:20:44,526
Ready.

472
00:20:44,526 --> 00:20:46,566
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Shoosh.
Oh, shoosh off.

473
00:20:46,566 --> 00:20:48,366
Oh, we are in for a real treat,
everyone.

474
00:20:48,366 --> 00:20:50,646
Disruption

475
00:20:50,646 --> 00:20:53,526
Thunder-faced woman

476
00:20:53,526 --> 00:20:57,766
Shouting, crazy, "Where's my dog?"

477
00:20:57,766 --> 00:21:00,726
Lady, please. Get out.

478
00:21:00,726 --> 00:21:02,406
Fine.
(APPLAUSE)

479
00:21:03,566 --> 00:21:05,366
So accurate.

480
00:21:21,686 --> 00:21:24,446
Artie. Artie.

481
00:21:24,446 --> 00:21:26,326
It's my dog.

482
00:21:46,566 --> 00:21:48,046
Did you want the milk?

483
00:21:48,046 --> 00:21:49,166
No. Thanks.
No.

484
00:21:57,086 --> 00:21:59,446
Would you like some honey, sweetie?
No. I'm fine.

485
00:21:59,446 --> 00:22:02,166
Oh, I'm so sorry about Artie, Helen.

486
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:03,526
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.

487
00:22:03,526 --> 00:22:06,806
He had a good life.
He's not dead, Graham.

488
00:22:19,686 --> 00:22:21,726
GEORGE: Hey, Helen.
Hey, webmaster.

489
00:22:21,726 --> 00:22:23,846
Roz asked me to film that video
with you today.

490
00:22:23,846 --> 00:22:25,486
Yeah. Fine. Whatever.

491
00:22:25,486 --> 00:22:27,006
Just come and get me
when you're ready.

492
00:22:33,206 --> 00:22:35,806
(ON VIDEO) Losing a loved one
is always difficult.

493
00:22:35,806 --> 00:22:37,766
They can be stolen away
without warning.

494
00:22:37,766 --> 00:22:39,086
And when that happens

495
00:22:39,086 --> 00:22:42,686
it can be hard to find the energy
to do anything but be sad.

496
00:22:42,686 --> 00:22:46,046
And that's where Gruber & Associates
can help.

497
00:22:46,046 --> 00:22:50,606
We take care of business,
so you can take time to grieve.

498
00:22:50,606 --> 00:22:53,086
Now, imagine when I put
some music on that.

499
00:22:53,086 --> 00:22:55,566
Something in a minor key.
Play it again, George.

500
00:22:55,566 --> 00:22:59,406
Hello, I'm Helen Tudor-Fisk.
(HUMS IN THE BACKGROUND)

501
00:22:59,406 --> 00:23:05,166
Here at Gruber & Associates,
we specialise in wills and probate.

502
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:07,886
Is it going to be music
or annoying humming?

503
00:23:07,886 --> 00:23:09,126
And what about the cat?

504
00:23:09,126 --> 00:23:11,646
I thought you said
there was going to be a cat.

505
00:23:17,086 --> 00:23:19,806
Hey, Helen, Popovitch alert.
Popovitch alert. Come quickly.

506
00:23:19,806 --> 00:23:21,286
I can't leave the station.

507
00:23:22,726 --> 00:23:24,046
Oh, my favourite.

508
00:23:24,046 --> 00:23:25,246
Finders keepers.

509
00:23:25,246 --> 00:23:28,646
Oh, Mrs Popovitch.
I'm going to take that. Thank you.

510
00:23:28,646 --> 00:23:29,766
Hello.
Hello, Helen.

511
00:23:29,766 --> 00:23:31,406
It's Wednesday.
I know.

512
00:23:31,406 --> 00:23:32,726
I found something for you.

513
00:23:32,726 --> 00:23:35,526
OK. She's got a strong grip.

514
00:23:35,526 --> 00:23:36,886
Are we taking the cactus?
Yes.

515
00:23:36,886 --> 00:23:38,206
OK. We're taking the cactus.

516
00:23:44,166 --> 00:23:45,246
What? (GASPS)

517
00:23:45,246 --> 00:23:46,646
It's Artie.

518
00:23:48,046 --> 00:23:50,326
And a lovely stool.

519
00:23:50,326 --> 00:23:52,966
I found them at the festival.

520
00:23:52,966 --> 00:23:55,006
Hey, Artie.

521
00:23:55,006 --> 00:23:56,846
Finders keepers.
Finders keepers.

522
00:23:59,566 --> 00:24:01,126
Finders keepers.

523
00:24:03,406 --> 00:24:04,966
Hello.

524
00:24:05,806 --> 00:24:07,406
How are you?

525
00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:34,846
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS)

526
00:24:41,446 --> 00:24:43,846
Hello. I'm Helen Tudor-Fisk.

527
00:24:43,846 --> 00:24:48,886
And here at Gruber & Associates
we specialise in wills and probate.

528
00:24:48,886 --> 00:24:52,366
Losing a loved one
is always difficult.

529
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:55,326
They can be stolen away
without warning.

530
00:24:55,326 --> 00:24:57,166
And when that happens,

531
00:24:57,166 --> 00:25:02,206
it can be hard to find the energy
to do anything but be sad.

532
00:25:02,206 --> 00:25:05,206
And that's where
Gruber & Associates can help.

533
00:25:05,206 --> 00:25:07,766
(UPLIFTING PIANO MUSIC)

534
00:25:14,806 --> 00:25:16,846
We take care of business

535
00:25:16,846 --> 00:25:19,326
so you can take time to grieve.

536
00:25:20,886 --> 00:25:22,886
(SENTIMENTAL MUSIC CONTINUES)

537
00:25:25,766 --> 00:25:27,206
Miaow.

538
00:25:33,926 --> 00:25:35,686
Captions by Red Bee Media

539
00:25:35,686 --> 00:25:37,686
Copyright
Australian Broadcasting Corporation