ORGAN FANFARE PLAYS
APPLAUSE
INAUDIBLE SPEECH
He surrounded himself,
no matter where he went in the country,
with people that would have confidence in him
that he did no wrong.
And he did that all over the country, en masse.
And these were not children,
these were not the vulnerable people.
These were people at the head of society.
These were... These were people that ran institutions.
They weren't silly people,
these were supposed to be educated people.
And he groomed them quite easily, seemingly.
I personally think that the charity work he was doing
was totally a cover for everything he was doing,
um, to give this image of this wonderful man
that was raising all these funds for charity,
and I don't think it had anything to do with his religion at all.
Because you can't commit a sin on one hand
and pray for forgiveness on the other,
because it doesn't make the sin go away.
I feel very angry towards anybody who enabled Jimmy Savile...
..to behave in the way he did, which was monstrous.
I feel that the people who were aware...
..of his behaviour...
..have to hang their heads in shame.
There was no way anyone was going to believe me.
Um, obviously, being a child, you know,
you don't have no dealings with the authorities.
You don't understand,
obviously, how you understand it as an adult.
But nobody was going to believe me.
Last time we met,
you said something about making a promise to the Duchess.
Yeah, to honour her memory.
And you seemed to suggest that you sat with her dead body.
I did. A very happy time!
And then, it wasn't quite clear
when I played the recording back... Don't worry.
I've got a memory like an elephant. But it...
It sounded like you'd said...
..you'd "Never do that shit again".
What could you have meant?
No idea, cos I never said it.
Your machine wants fettling.
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT
DOORBELL RINGS
Hello...?
You said to call round?
I did, didn't I?
So, here we are. Yeah.
Right, well, I'm a bit, er, busy at the moment, but...
Well, come in for a minute.
I thought it was next week.
Er, right.
Right.
QUIETLY: Good heavens. What a pigsty!
HE WHISPERS: Well, he's not here that much.
Is this how you leave all the places you stay?
Not that we ever know where you stay.
But to turn your mother's home into a...squat...?
Quite right, Beryl.
The Duchess might be gone,
but I know she's still up there looking down
and she would expect the same standard of behaviour
as when she was alive.
I should think so.
So, why did you want us round?
Er, I get letters every day.
You know, people asking for help.
You know, brain scanners, hostels for the homeless,
day centres for the mentally handicapped,
and it's all work I want to do, but I need help.
What kind of help? Well, you know, admin, accounts -
all the stuff you're good at and I'm not.
You know, if you good people help me organise my life,
then I can spend more time playing the Good Samaritan,
which I know is what the Duchess would want.
Well...
..if it's for charity, I suppose we can hardly say no.
DOORBELL RINGS
Your new specs, Mr Savile.
I'm Susan.
You rang and asked for them to be brought to your house?
Yes. Yes. I did, er... By me especially, the manager said.
Indeed I did.
So entranced was I, um...
..by your charms when you were in that room
and shone that little torch into my eyes.
It's called an ophthalmoscope, Mr Savile. Ophthalmoscope!
Right, I get a little shiver down my spine just hearing you say that.
And call me Jimmy, Susan.
Erm, anyway...
I am all out of milk.
Um, could you nip to the corner shop?
Just down the road on the right, then come back and fit the goggles.
Oh... Of course.
Good girl. Er, I'll see you in a bit.
Autograph hunter.
Er, you don't have to start straight away.
That's good, because we can't.
You'd be my little guardian angels. I wouldn't go that far.
But if we can help you help others, Sav, then we will.
Right, great, that's it.
Beryl. Aye.
Take care. Ta-ra.
DOORBELL RINGS
Well, not quite enough for a tin bath for us both to bathe in,
but it'll do for a brew.
Enter Jimmy Savile HQ.
Don't mind the mess, the cleaners have let me down.
The kitchen's the best. Just through there.
LOCK CLICKS
After your mother's death,
far from stopping, the rumours grew...
We're back on rumours again.
..about your behaviour with girls.
What are you doing? Stop!
We're just doing what men and women do. Are you a virgin? Get off!
It's what I call SOS - "same old shit".
You'll find the door's locked. The door's locked.
Let me out! I'll tell the police!
No! Sit down!
Gossip.
Balloons full of hot air.
Prick 'em, and there's nowt there.
SAVILE: Which is why I was always able to make 'em disappear.
< Now...
That didn't happen.
What?
Whatever you may have thought just happened...
..didn't happen.
Have you heard of Savile's Travels?
Course I have.
Right, well, as it happens,
I'm doing a recording of one from Leeds today.
And I'd like you to do a little interview with me,
and then you can go.
DAVIES: But the rumours didn't go away, did they?
SAVILE: Only in the minds of a few nay-sayers and killjoys.
I was on an upward trajectory.
Yeah, becoming an increasingly powerful figure
in broadcasting, which...which... Not powerful, not powerful.
Trusted and respected.
Nobody who mattered believed them rumours.
Otherwise, why would the BBC have offered me the show I did next?
ON TAPE: Here I am in the city of my birth, talking to the lovely Susan.
Susan, tell me, what do you do for a job?
Trainee optometrist.
Really? Brains as well as beauty. I...
I wouldn't say that.
And, tell me, what kind of hobbies, outside work,
what do you enjoy doing?
Well...
..I like baking cakes.
Oh, one day, you'll make a lovely wife for some lucky young man.
TAPE STOPS
What's so brilliant is, you can hear the girl's nervous,
but with that avuncular manner, you soon win her trust.
No-one doubts Jimmy's got a way with young people.
Which brings us to the purpose of this meeting.
Roger and I have been developing a new show.
Where Top Of The Pops was aimed at teens,
kids will be the key to this. Simple premise.
Basically, we ask the public to write in
asking us to make a wish come true
for either themselves or someone they know.
It might be a boy wanting to fly a helicopter,
or a girl wanting to sing a duet with her favourite pop star...
A paraplegic wanting to scale Ben Nevis in a wheelchair?
Exactly! Exactly! You've got it. So, our idea would be
to have the presenter sat there in a special chair...
Wave a magic wand?
Got it. So, when do I start?
Well, job's not necessarily yours, Jimmy.
Do you mind me asking who else is in the running?
Um,
Monty Modlyn.
Oh, oh, dear old Monty! And he's very interested in the job
and he's already suggested a super title, Monty'll Fix It.
Perfect,
if it was being presented
by Field Marshall Viscount Montgomery of Alamein!
Jimmy'll Fix It does have quite a ring, too.
Still wrong! What would you suggest?
Jim'll Fix It.
One syllable shorter, much catchier.
Jim'll Fix It. You're right.
Jim sounds like your favourite uncle.
You don't have any kids, do you?
I don't, because where there are kids, there's usually a wife
and where there's a wife, there's strife.
But you do like children? Love 'em. Love 'em,
if I can give 'em a squeeze and hand 'em back.
Don't forget, though, in my various voluntary roles,
I've brought a great deal of sunshine into the lives of children.
Indeed, indeed...
Give us a minute, will you, Roger?
Look, I've no doubt you're the best man for the job, Jimmy.
I have no doubt either, King Billy.
Given that my success is the reason your sitting in that chair,
why wouldn't you put me in the Fix It chair?
There's a matter I need to raise first.
I'll save your blushes by doing it for you.
The matter of the young lady who committed suicide.
Of course.
There was an investigation.
And very impressed I was
by the diligence with which my learned friend carried it out,
even though I knew I would be exonerated.
I do need an absolute assurance from you
that you have no skeletons hiding in the closet.
I swear on my mother's grave.
KNOCK AT DOOR
Come in.
Anna...
I just wanted to let you know... I've heard.
You've given it to Savile.
Look, I know you don't like him...
He's a rude, arrogant man.
There are women in this building
who make sure they are never alone with him.
None of them have told me that.
Oh, come on!
You must have heard the rumours!
About what?
His behaviour with teenage girls.
I haven't heard any rumours.
Well, Douglas Muggeridge has heard them.
And if Radio 1 has heard them, then why haven't you?
Did Douglas investigate these rumours? Yes.
And, admittedly, nothing conclusive was found... Well, there you are.
But what about the girl who committed suicide?
All investigated by the lawyer.
And you consider that to be the end of the matter?
He found no evidence to justify the allegations.
The investigation looked right across the BBC,
and he did say that such is the labyrinthine nature of TV Centre
and the dressing room area
that it was inevitable some immoral behaviour would occur.
And that's supposed to be an excuse?
That "immoral behaviour"
is ultimately your responsibility, Bill.
Which is why I've taken steps to deal with it.
Admission to TV Centre is now strictly ticket only.
There's now much greater vigilance to keep out under-16s.
Does that include girls who climb over walls
to get into the back of the building?
And the girls in the BBC Club plied with drinks
by pop stars and staff who we employ?
Entrance to the BBC Club has been tightened up.
Anna, I'm doing my best, but I can't work miracles!
And anyway, this show's going to be centred on kids, not teens.
They'll be working as a team,
making sure they're properly looked after.
You can't possibly believe this man has any real empathy with children.
All I know is, Jimmy Savile is a brilliant talent,
and we have to look after talent.
And all I know is that a man like that
has no place working at the BBC.
That's my decision, Anna, not yours.
Mr Cotton. Hello.
DIRECTOR: 10, 9, 8, 7... Mr Cotton.
..6, 5, 4, 3...
# If there's anything that you want to do
# If you want to do anything cool
# Jim'll, Jim'll fix it
# Jim'll Jim'll fix it
# Jim'll, Jim'll... #
Good evening, one and all,
and welcome to the very first edition of Jim'll Fix It,
a brand-new show where yours truly makes dreams come true!
It's a tough job, but someone's got to do it!
And, tonight, we have a young boy who wants to swim with dolphins,
and, last but not least,
three teenage gals who are desperate to meet the Osmonds.
GIRLS SCREAM
SAVILE: Suddenly, it all made sense.
Everything I'd done before
had been preparing me for sitting on that throne
and seeing kiddies' faces light up as I made their dreams come true.
It wasn't my impression, when I attended a recording aged nine,
seeing all the production crew urging kids to grin
when they went up to sit with you.
They didn't need any urging.
And when you weren't on camera,
you just seemed sort of distant and cold.
It's called professionalism.
I just felt like I was seeing another side to you.
You've not been listening, have you?
There's only one side to me, and he's talking to you now.
And he's thinking to himself,
"I hope I didn't misjudge Dr Wordsmith.
"I hope he's not like some of his fellow scribes,
"always wanting to lift the toilet lid
"to see what's lurking in the pan."
Because were that the case,
I might tell him to sling his hook.
I just want this book to paint a rounded portrait.
Then let's have no more talk of kiddies being urged to grin.
I brought joy into innocent lives, that's all.
HORN HONKS OUTSIDE
Oh, minibus!
BOY: Yes!
Hang on, hang on, come back!
They're not going to go without you. You can't be a scruff
if you're going on the telly to meet Jimmy Savile.
Right.
Perfect. Go on. Bye!
Oh! Kevin! Kevin, hang on! The tie!
Right, remember,
make sure you give this to a grown-up to give to Jimmy.
Bye. Bye.
DOOR OPENS
Have fun!
APPLAUSE
Now, all that remains
is for me to give you lovely boys your Jim'll Fix It badge.
But there's quite a few of you,
so I can't give you all one each.
Instead, I've had a ginormous one made for all of you.
So if you all stand up here now...
Now, you just steady that, young men.
And pass that ribbon down that way,
pass that round your shoulder. That's it, good lad.
Same, pass it round your shoulders.
Oh, there's another one there.
There we go, that's the one.
There... There it is.
So, that's all for tonight.
Don't forget to tune in to Jim'll Fix It
same time next week,
where we make more dreams come true!
APPLAUSE
# Your letter is only the start of it
# One letter, and now you're a part of it
# Now you've done it
# Jim has fixed it for you... #
Well done, everyone, great show. Biscuits are there.
Come on, do help yourself.
Now, then, now, then, young man,
I believe this came from you.
Yeah.
Well, what a splendid surprise!
And I've got a surprise for you.
I know I gave a Jim'll Fix It badge to the whole pack, but...
..what if I give you your very own?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, please.
Yeah, ah, well, you follow me.
Excited?
Well, if you want that badge,
I want you to do just...
I want you to do just one more thing.
Remember, it's our little secret.
You don't want to get your mum all upset.
Oh, there he is! We've been looking for you, you little rascal!
Kevin! You had us worried for a minute.
Poor lad wandered off,
got lost in the woods.
Luckily, Uncle Jim found him before the big bad wolf.
VACUUM WHIRS
Hi, how did it go?
Great.
Well, come on, sit down. Tell me about it.
Did he like the tie?
Course he liked the tie.
Look at that.
Oh, that's amazing!
QUIET ORGAN MUSIC
Bless me, Father, it is six months since my last confession.
And what sins do you want to confess?
Selfishness.
And what was the selfish act?
There's a caff in Ilkley, called the Tradesman's,
and the owner wouldn't let me pay, and I, er...
I didn't try to, even though double egg and chips is only a pound.
And I knew he was skint.
So, er, why do you think you did it?
Er, childhood.
Parents struggled to put food on the table.
So, this fellow giving away free egg and chips, do you th...
Do you think he got pleasure out of it?
No question, Father.
And you didn't like to take away that pleasure?
I know myself how much pleasure I get
from doing things for other people.
This is perhaps not a...a great sin...
Anything else?
Not for myself, Father.
But, um...
I have a pal who struggles with the sins of the flesh.
And he wanted some advice.
Is this friend a Catholic?
He is.
I think he just wanted to get things straight in his mind.
What things, exactly?
Well, he's a single man,
but he sometimes gets tempted.
Oh, so did St Paul.
Temptation isn't of itself necessarily a sin.
But if he gives in to it?
How?
Oh, um...
Forcing himself upon someone...
..a young person...
..a child, even?
That would be a mortal sin.
Supposing he did lots of good things
to try and make up for it.
Would there still be a chance he could go to heaven?
The Catechism is clear.
Any sin can be forgiven...
..if he made a confession.
But...
..you must...
..urge him...
..if he has done anything like you have described...
..to give himself up to the authorities.
Oh, I'll make sure he understands that, Father.
Bloody priceless, eh, Sav!
Dream-maker to the nation.
King Jimmy.
I'd settle for "Sir".
They wouldn't be able to touch you then, would they?
I mean, I know you've got other ways of killing stories,
but who'd put a Knight Of The Realm in court?
It's not the only reason I want it.
Power and the glory, too, eh?
Never thought I'd get this far.
So, why not see if I can get all the way to the fuckin' top?
Hmm, why not?
# ..Now you're a part of it
# Now you've done it
# Jim has fixed it for you
# And you and you
# There must be something that you always want to do
# The one thing that you've always wanted to
# Now you've done it
# Jim has fixed it for you
# And you and you and you Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba... #
SEAGULLS CRY
Good heavens, Jimmy Savile!
Ma'am, at your service!
I heard the Tories were in town.
I came to pay my humble respects.
May I? Indeed you may!
Oh, goodness...
I do believe I may have kissed the hand of a future Prime Minister.
Well, we hope so. I didn't know you lived in Scarborough, Jimmy.
I have many homes, none closer to my heart.
Sea, sand, and ice cream par excellence
as served by my very good friend, the Mayor.
You must try one! Oh, I shall!
But can I just say how much I love Jim'll Fix It?
Denis and I are huge fans!
Flattery, madam, will get you everywhere!
And I'm told you do an awful lot for charity.
A call for help, I'm there.
Well, I wish you well in your work.
And I in yours.
But may I make a cheeky request?
Oh, I like a cheeky request.
I sometimes get requests from kiddies
wanting me to fix it for them to meet the Prime Minister.
Do you think that might be possible?
Of course!
But you must first fix it for me to be PM!
Then I shall work my magic powers!
Well, it was lovely to meet you!
The wind ripped all the roof off.
The rain did the rest. Biblical.
REPORTER: Just coming into Downing Street now,
here comes the prime ministerial Rover, bearing now Mrs Thatcher.
I would just like to remember some words of St Francis of Assisi
which I think are really just particularly apt at the moment.
Where there is discord, may we bring harmony.
Where there is error, may we bring truth.
Where there is doubt, may we bring faith.
And where there is despair, may we bring hope.
We're all ready for you, Mr Savile.
Splendid, Jeeves.
Lead on!
The Duke of Monmouth.
Secretary to Charles II and made a Knight of the Garter.
Well deserved, I'm sure.
They had proper hairstyles in them days. Yes.
You've never been fond of a short back and sides.
Well, this keep me ears warm.
Welcome to Chequers.
Oh, and thank you for fixing it
for me to become Prime Minister. As promised.
Normally, I'd do such a meeting at Number Ten,
but I thought this would be convenient
since Stoke Mandeville is only down the road.
Well, this whole area is like a second home to me,
and, of course, very handy for Broadmoor.
Oh, you are involved there as well?
Official entertainment officer.
That's marvellous.
So, the spinal injuries unit.
Er, yes, it's in ruins.
Yes, I'm aware.
They've asked me to head up a campaign
to have it completely rebuilt.
Well, jolly good for you.
The architects have given an estimate of ten million.
I was hoping the Government might chip in.
You do realise the Labour Government
left this country's finances in a terrible state.
I warned Mr Callaghan that the pot'd be empty,
the way he was carrying on.
He let himself be bullied by the unions,
ran up a mountain of debt,
strikes, rubbish on the streets...
A terrible mess. No question.
And I'm afraid some of the blame rests with Mr Heath
when he capitulated to the miners.
Well, now, if you show a miner weakness,
he will have you for breakfast. I should know, I was one. Really?
Hearts of lions, but give 'em an inch and they'll take a yard.
I rather think you and I are cut from the same cloth, Jimmy.
Well, er, humble origins.
Er, and we know money doesn't grow on trees.
So, I hope you'll understand why my government can't help financially.
And I do think it's vital people learn to help themselves.
Which is why I'm determined to raise this money by hook or by crook.
Then I'll strike a bargain with you, Jimmy.
If you did somehow raise the funds for the building,
I'll try and find the money to run it.
In that case, ma'am, we have another deal.
LAUGHTER AND CHATTER
INDISTINCT CHATTER
Good to see you. Hello. Good to see you. How did you raise it?
Oh, all sorts of ways, but mainly a 24-hour sponsored...
COINS RATTLE
Morning, sweetheart.
Tell you what,
I'll see if we can get hold of one of these T-shirts for you.
How about that?
Bit mardy, that one?
In and out of here all the time.
Grandad got a bit...
..over-familiar with her. Oh, oh...
INAUDIBLE
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
Three of my favourite ladies!
Jill, spondoolies rolling in?
Yes. Bingo!
How are we doing, my hearties?
Exhausted as ever, but it's wonderful.
People just walk in, they give what they can.
And they all say, please thank Jimmy for us.
Thank 'em from me. Make sure they get a T-shirt each.
We're all set, Jimmy. Good man.
PRIEST: And help us to be living witnesses to the Lord.
Lord hear us.
ALL: Lord, graciously hear us.
We pray for peace in the world.
That men, women and children may live together
in peace and harmony that God our Father intends.
Lord hear us.
Lord, graciously hear us.
We pray for all in special need,
the sick in mind or body and their carers,
the lonely and those with financial, work or family worries.
Lord hear us.
Lord, graciously hear us.
We pray for those who died and all who are bereaved,
that the love of God may transform the darkness of death
into the bright promise of immortality.
Lord hear us.
Lord, graciously hear us.
SERVICE CONTINUES IN CHAPEL
Father asked me to do the collection plate...
..Through your goodness, we have this bread to offer,
which earth had given and human hands have made.
It will become for us the bread of life.
Blessed be God for ever.
By the mystery of this water and wine,
may we come to share in the divinity of Christ,
who humbled himself to share in our humanity.
Blessed are you, Lord God of all creation.
Through your goodness, we have this wine to offer.
Fruit of the vine and work of human hands,
it will become our spiritual drink.
ALL: Blessed be God for ever. SAVILE: Blessed be God for ever.
I want to ask you about the knighthood.
Never courted, never sought.
Well, I find that hard to believe.
I, er,... I take it you're not a religious man, Dr Wordsmith. No.
Well, I think that's why we've probably got
this "ulterior motive" problem.
Jesus said, "It's more blessed to give than to receive."
That's all I did. Oh, come on, Jimmy, I've...
I've been reading about this, been thinking about it!
I mean, St Matthew said,
"Give to the poor and you will have treasure in heaven."
Now, doesn't that imply that charity is never purely selfless,
that the giver will always get something out of it?
And you want that something to be sinister?
Surely you can see why I'm pressing the point... As I said
to my good friend, Pope John-Paul II... Yeah...
..those who bring sunshine into the lives of others
can't keep it from their own.
And he said, "Spot on, Jimmy."
The more happy I made other people, the happier I was.
Sam...?
Are you all right?
What's all this?
Your periods haven't started, have they?
Uh...
No.
Then why?
Sam, why?
To try and stop him...
..getting in.
Oh...
You poor thing.
Look, whatever was happening to you at home -
it can't happen here, can it?
You're safe with us in hospital, aren't you? You couldn't be safer.
Sam, what is it, hmm?
Is there something else?
Come on, cheer up.
Give me those.
Why don't you go to the day room and see what's on telly?
Can't.
Got chapel.
The priest expects me.
Well, you go to chapel, then, stop worrying.
PRIEST: Lord, we pray for those who are hungry
and for all those charities who work to alleviate hunger
and poverty, both here at home and across the world.
Lord hear us.
Lord, graciously hear us.
We pray for children and young people everywhere,
especially those who are in care, or otherwise vulnerable.
Lord, graciously hear us.
Lord, help us to be understanding and forgiving
of all those we encounter.
Lord, hear us.
Lord, graciously hear us.
SHE RETCHES
SHE SOBS
CHOIR SING: In The Bleak Midwinter
# ..Earth stood hard as iron
# Water like a stone
# Snow had fallen, snow on snow
# Snow on snow... #
JIMMY SINGS TO HIMSELF
Merry Christmas, Jimmy.
Same to you, Jeeves.
Pop those under the tree, if you'll be so kind.
You'll find her in the kitchen.
Merry Christmas, one and all!
Jimmy, welcome. Merry Christmas.
Now, I know you don't touch alcohol, so this is orange juice.
Good health, Ma'am.
Please don't "Ma'am" me, Jimmy. I'm not royalty.
Well, you are to me.
And I'm more than happy to provide some fun
at the court of Queen Maggie.
Flattery will get you everywhere.
Do you know what, I think that every Maggie needs a Jimmy.
Quite right.
This is Robert Armstrong, my Cabinet Secretary.
He's the man in my life who makes everything possible.
Or impossible, if I think she's doing the wrong thing.
JIMMY CHUCKLES Well, season's greetings, good sir.
And to you. Robert's only popped in for a sherry.
Heading off to see my family shortly.
Denis has taken the other guests for a stroll.
Er, may I ask who they are?
My speechwriter, Ronnie Millar, and three others.
All bachelors like yourself, Jimmy.
I hate to think of you poor chaps spending Christmas alone.
Deeply touched. Anyway, it gives us a chance to catch up.
It's been such a busy year.
What with the Pope's visit...
Oh, yes. Well, I acted as his native guide in Yorkshire.
T'was a great morale booster.
As was the Falklands.
It wasn't a decision I took lightly, but it had to be done.
No question. And when people say to me,
"What about those 300 men who died when we sank the Belgrano?"
I say, "Maggie had no choice."
Thank you.
But tell me about Stoke Mandeville.
I'm hearing amazing things about the appeal.
Amazing indeed.
Another half million and we're there.
The building work is already under way.
Extraordinary! Well...
..I'm going to find that half million for you.
Oh, my word!
And, as promised, the money to run it.
Well, what a Christmas present.
And by the way,
I'm sure your astonishing personal contribution will be recognised.
Oh, I...I don't do it for the glory.
But it's exactly that selfless public service
that our honours system is for.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd better find those men.
Already got an OBE, haven't you?
And proud of it.
OK, guys, I'm sitting down here like this.
Oh-oh-oh-oh!
..seven, six, five, four, three...
Prime Minister's car is approaching. Thank you very much.
JIM'LL FIX IT THEME PLAYS
Keep all our fingers crossed,
we hope that the British public respond as they have done.
# One letter, and now you're a part of it
# Now you've done it
# Jim has fixed it for you
# And you, and you
# There must be something that you always want to do
# The one thing that you always wanted to
# Now you've done it
# Jim has fixed it for you
# And you, and you
# And you Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba... #
JIMMY: It's a very special day for us.
Finally, we're back up and running again. Back on our feet.
# Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba
# Jim has fixed it for you
# And you, and you, and you... #
When I think that it costs £10 million,
how on earth do you raise £10 million in three years?
It's easy.
# And you, and you, and you. #
Thank you.
You're late, Dr Wordsmith.
I ordered tea and crumpet, but I've eaten it all now.
Sorry, it was a...
..domestic issue.
Trouble with her indoors?
Rather not talk about it.
Yeah. I'll bet.
You'll not have, er, visited this august establishment before?
No.
Yeah.
They don't let any Tom, Dick or Harry in here, you know.
See that?
From the Pope, Knight of St Columbus.
That's how I got in.
Previous members include Darwin, Dickens, Disraeli,
Duke of Wellington, who parked his arse in...
..in this very spot.
And I sometimes like to think of the Duchess up there
looking down on me.
Thinking, "What an extraordinary journey my little boy made."
Indeed.
You were talking last time about not seeking the knighthood.
Which was perhaps just as well, because there was a time
when the possibility was slipping by, wasn't there?
Please elaborate.
Well, you'd rebuilt Stoke Mandeville,
you found extraordinary national acclaim,
but by the late '80s, there was still no letter
from the Honours Committee, and your career was on the slide.
News to me, Dr Wordsmith.
Please elaborate. I was hoping you'd do that.
I can't.
Because it wasn't.
TV: Tonight, I'm joined by a showbiz legend,
the man who's been spinning records for over 25 years,
Jimmy Savile.
APPLAUSE
Jimmy, you have the title of a swinging bachelor.
How would you react as a Roman Catholic... Yes?
..if one of your partners became pregnant?
Well, I'd say, "Who was it?"
LAUGHTER
Come judgment day, you're a Christian.
Don't you believe you've put God in somewhat of a dilemma?
Yes. There's Jimmy Savile, the good man...
Eh? ..that gives money to charity and helps young children,
and the Jimmy Savile who flies in the face of everything written
in the New Testament about sexual promiscuity.
Twats.
ON TV: ..I didn't realise that. Well, no, you've admitted it.
Stand up, anybody who was so good
that they will walk straight through the golden gates.
Me, when I stand in front of the table and St Peter's there
and he says "You are not coming in",
I'll say, "Well, why not?" and He'll say, "Cos you're a villain",
and he'll show me the debit side, and I'll say, "Hang about,"
and I'll show him the credit side and say, "Does that mean anything?"
If he says "That means nothing," I'll threaten to break his fingers.
Because, I mean, I don't know anybody that's going to get...
Little fuckers.
Even with your charity work, you come across as a bit of an egotist.
As if it's all about you, not the people you're helping.
I don't care how I come across, right?
All I care about is helping those in need
and putting smiles on people's faces.
What about your personal standards?
In one of your tabloid articles,
you describe having sex in your passion wagon.
How do you reconcile that with your Roman Catholic faith?
Well, I thought this was going to be a bit of fun, but never mind.
Your attitude to sex seems strange. Do you think sex is dirty?
No. Do you?
Twerp.
20 years ago, I would have knocked 'em about.
What've you got for me?
It's him.
Robert Armstrong.
Thatcher's Cabinet Secretary.
It seems she's put you up for a knighthood three times,
he's blocked it each time.
He's a cunt.
I knew he didn't like me, but he's...
He's got an effing knighthood,
why can't I have one?
No reason, but he's got Maggie's ear.
Wants to save her embarrassment.
About what?
Seems to be to do with stuff you've said and written over the years.
What stuff? About encounters with young women,
of which you've claimed to have many.
You once spoke of being feared in every girls' school in Britain.
That was a fucking joke!
Well, Armstrong didn't find it funny.
I've just published this.
Advice for young people on how to avoid perverts.
I help children.
I want that knighthood.
Well, Thatcher's the only way to that, Sav.
Have you got anything for me?
Wouldn't mind a bacon roll, as it happens.
Have the rest of that.
They put an extra rasher on, just for me.
Come in.
Jim, didn't know you were here.
Only arrived last night.
Well, thank goodness. I've been trying to find you.
And so has someone else.
Greetings, Ma'am.
Jimmy, dear. How are you?
Fighting fit, Ma'am. Good. Because I'm calling to ask for help.
Anything at all, I'm at your service.
It's Broadmoor.
The place is in chaos.
Management have lost control.
I'm told the Prison Officers' Union are practically running the place,
and the patients think that every day is April Fools Day.
None of this is news to me.
I've seen many things as entertainments officer,
er, that concern me.
Well, that makes me even more sure that we're doing the right thing.
And what's that? The management and board have been suspended.
The Department of Health are setting up a task force
and they feel sure that with that can-do attitude
and Yorkshire common sense, you can help turn the place round.
It would be an honour and a privilege.
Thank you so much, Jimmy.
I won't forget this.
ROBERT CLEARS HIS THROAT
My advice remains the same, Prime Minister.
Questions and rumours about the man persist.
But you never explain what those questions and rumours are.
Surely if there was anything in them,
the BBC, Stoke Mandeville and others would have taken action.
Unless, like us, they've had more pressing things to deal with.
I'm getting sick and tired of this, Robert.
Earlier today, Health Secretary Edwina Currie
arrived at 10 Downing Street
to discuss the situation at Broadmoor with Cabinet colleagues.
JIMMY: If anybody was so basically unhappy here
that they didn't like it,
then they should hand their notice in and leave.
The gloves are coming off.
What do you mean?
I didn't get sent here by the Prime Minister just to fuck about.
That's all you've ever done before here. What do you mean?
Inviting press in to photograph you with t'Ripper and Ronnie Kray?
That's to show the public the work we do here at Broadmoor. Oh.
Not because you're addicted to publicity
and love nothing more than blowing smoke up your own arse?
You see, that's the sort of attitude that's got to change.
And how are you going to do that, Jimmy? Dr Savile to you.
You're not a proper doctor.
I've completed an initial assessment
and I've come to the conclusion
that you lot have been fiddling your expenses,
letting relatives use accommodation designated for staff only
and generally taking the piss.
Bollocks.
This place has been under-funded and under-staffed for years
and now they've put a lunatic in charge.
Who, for reasons only known to himself,
seems to spends most of his time hanging round the women's block.
You are an arsehole, pal.
But what you'll find is, I'm an even bigger one.
I was regularly in touch with Maggie with progress reports.
She was delighted.
Maybe she wasn't paying proper attention, though.
"Jim fixes it for 60 psychos to go free" - News Of The World.
Not true, and I sued 'em.
You once gave a press conference where you said
you wanted male and female patients to mix so, and I quote...
.."they can fall in love."
Isn't that a pretty eccentric approach to mental illness?
Pure common sense, Dr Wordsmith.
You have some other interesting views.
You once said, of psychopaths,
"There's no point asking them what they did on that dark night
"because it wasn't them that did it, it was someone using their body."
What on earth do you mean by that?
I sense the toilet lid being lifted.
Perhaps it's time I looked under yours, Dr Wordsmith.
What do you mean?
You're having trouble with Mrs Wordsmith, aren't you?
If you must know, I've split up with my girlfriend, yes.
Now, can we please move on?
I'm looking at a man in turmoil,
whereas you are looking at a man
who has always been at ease with himself.
All I did was put a hand on some spotty youth's arse.
The little twat goes home, tells his dad I'd propositioned him.
Dad takes the lad to the police.
The next thing I know, the police are at the door.
I...I don't know what else might come out.
If the cops are coming after me, they know we're close,
they might come after you.
You won't say owt about me, will you?
No, I...I wouldn't, Sav, I swear!
But you're always saying you've got friends in the police.
I wondered, could you put in a word?
I can't, Peter.
I can't, it'll only make things worse.
You'd best be on your way, mate.
All right, Maureen?
Oh, hello, Jimmy.
All right, guys and girls, carry on.
Don't mind me. There you are. Hey, Sav.
I saw you walking past the gaff earlier. What are you doing here?
Best cod and chips in town, you once told us.
We're about to order if you fancy...
No, I mean, what are you doing in Scarborough?
We're house-hunting.
Here? Why?
Tell him, Charles.
Well, we've, uh... we've news for you, Sav.
I'm retiring.
What do you mean?
He's retiring.
After years of hard graft, he deserves a rest
and we've always fancied living in Scarborough.
Fucking hell! Hey, language!
I can't have you here. Who's going to look after stuff for me in Leeds?
We can still manage your life,
organise your fundraising in the north.
I don't want you in Scarborough!
Why not?
Because I...
I come here to relax!
Oh! I don't know what you get up to here.
Or in any of the other places you spend your time,
not to mention where you park that van up.
Why are you so concerned to keep everything separate?
Steady on, Beryl. No, it needs saying. Why all the secrecy?
Anyway, like it or not, we're moving here.
We've just put an offer in on a lovely little place.
You see now, Charles, why I never got married.
Let me guess. You're knocking on the door of middle age.
You've split up with Mrs Wordsmith,
you're living out of cardboard boxes.
This is really boring.
I've told you I'm going through a tough time,
and that's all you need to know.
But you want to know everything about my life.
I thought that's what we agreed.
We agreed nothing, pal.
We said we'll see how it goes.
Well, it's over. You can sling your hook.
What do you mean?
To paraphrase what the Tories said to Maggie
when her time was up, you can fuck off.
Now.
Run from me, Jimmy.
You won't be able to hide forever.
NEWSNIGHT THEME PLAYS
A few moments ago, Mrs Thatcher's government
won an overwhelming vote of confidence in the Commons.
But for the Prime Minister of the last 11 years,
it was a Pyrrhic victory.
Tonight, the key to 10 Downing Street
lies in the hands of her party.
She led them to victory three times, then they turned on her.
THATCHER: Ladies and gentlemen,
we're leaving Downing Street for the last time,
after 11 and a half wonderful years.
And we're very happy that we leave the United Kingdom
in a very, very, much better state
than when we came here 11 and a half years ago.
REPORTER: But then the Iron Lady's composure almost broke.
Watch her face as she reaches her car.