1 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:17,184 - Okay, here we go. - Okay, okay. Family movie night, guys. 2 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,268 - Yeah. - What we gonna watch? 3 00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:21,438 - We've all gotta agree on something. - I wanna watch The Emoji Movie. 4 00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:23,982 - Okay. - Oh, come on. You've seen it 8,000 times. 5 00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,818 Yeah, sweetie, I really don't think I can watch The Emoji Movie again. 6 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,487 But that's what I wanna watch. 7 00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,571 What about Inside Out? 8 00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,532 - It's so cute. It's not for me. - Okay. 9 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,325 - I think you'll like it. - You just wanna watch it again. 10 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:34,660 You always tear up. 11 00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,370 Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie! 12 00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,038 - How about John Wick? - What? 13 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,040 - We're not watching John Wick, Simon. - No. We're not watching-- 14 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,917 - How do you-- No. - What? No. 15 00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,877 Well, maybe there's something new that came out. Let me check. 16 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,128 Good idea. 17 00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,131 - Okay. - Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie! 18 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,633 Oh, whoa. 19 00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:51,510 - What? - What? 20 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,554 - Will's getting a divorce. - Who's Will? 21 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,598 - Will's getting a divorce? - Yeah. Audrey just posted it on her Insta. 22 00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,809 - Who's Will? - Wait, you didn't know that? 23 00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,436 - No. I haven't spoken to him for so long. - Who's Will? 24 00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,772 He's a old friend of mine, honey. 25 00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,066 There was a time when Will was Mommy's best friend. 26 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,527 - Like, an ex? - No. Just a friend. 27 00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,153 With benefits? 28 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,073 - No. Ew. What? No benefits. - No. 29 00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,535 Yeah. In fact, Will was your mom's maid of honor at our wedding. 30 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,954 What are we watching for family movie night? 31 00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,706 - Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie. - I can't. I-- 32 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,000 I can't watch The Emoji Movie again. I just can't. 33 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,377 - Oh, babe, why do you care? - It's a movie about fonts. 34 00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,628 - How about Halloween? - No. 35 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,880 - It doesn't matter. - Talking fonts. 36 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,423 - Poop emoji! - It's wrong. 37 00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,466 We have so little time together. 38 00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,343 - Poop emoji! - What about Dahmer? 39 00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,636 - No. - Dahmer? 40 00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,096 Why not? We should watch Dahmer. 41 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,222 - Dahmer? Okay. - Yeah. 42 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,099 I know what we're gonna do. 43 00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:43,979 Poop emoji. 44 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:51,028 - You should call Will. - I'm the last person he'd wanna hear from. 45 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,739 You're overthinking it. He probably really wants to hear from you. 46 00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,492 I don't know. We literally haven't spoken to each other in years. 47 00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,245 We parted on the worst terms. His wife hated me. 48 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,372 - You hated her. - Well, it wasn't that simple. 49 00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,125 I told him I thought Audrey was terrible for him, 50 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,210 and then he married her. 51 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,044 Well, looks like he came around. 52 00:02:09,338 --> 00:02:11,381 Well, it definitely wasn't worth losing a friend over. 53 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,633 Yeah, so call him. 54 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,260 - It'll just be weird. - Why? 55 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,345 I don't know. 56 00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,681 Men and women don't really hang out with each other at our age. 57 00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,433 - That's not true. - Come on. 58 00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,726 All our friends are couple friends, 59 00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,062 and you talk to the men, and I talk to the women. 60 00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,688 Yeah, I guess that is true. 61 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,525 When did it become so hard for men and women to socialize? 62 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:33,195 - After we got married? After we had kids? - Well, you and Will predate all that. 63 00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,865 I guess. Poor Will. He's probably pretty lonely. 64 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,618 Call him. That's what friends do. 65 00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,569 - Hi. Oh, my God. - Hey. Look at you. 66 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,238 - How are you? - I'm great. How are you? 67 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,033 - You look well. This-- - I am. Feeling good. 68 00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:04,453 - Your T-shirt's good. It's nice. Yeah. - Yeah, thank you. 69 00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:07,414 You look like a '90s grunge clown. 70 00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:13,587 Gosh. How is it go-- How's the beer business? 71 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,671 Very good, yeah. 72 00:04:15,214 --> 00:04:17,757 I'm actually the brewmaster at my own bar now. 73 00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:20,260 - What? Congratulations. - Thank you. 74 00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,304 - Yeah. - Very cool. 75 00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,890 I'm actually-- We're having a party at the bar this weekend. 76 00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,892 - Okay. - Yeah. If you're around-- 77 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,436 If you're around this weekend, stop by the bar. 78 00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,730 - I'd love to. Yeah. - Yeah, I'll send you the details. 79 00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:36,276 Are you still lawyering? 80 00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,613 Charlie just made partner, and I-- I help him out. 81 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,697 Oh, wow. 82 00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,450 So, you work at the firm with Charlie still? 83 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,536 We've been doing a lot of work. It's been great. 84 00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,873 You and Charlie are currently employed at the same law firm? 85 00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,792 I am not on salary. 86 00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,294 But that's society for you. 87 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,131 I do not work currently. 88 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,717 I see. You are unemployed currently. 89 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,012 You still got that family of yours? 90 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,347 Yeah. You wanna see a photo? 91 00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:07,307 Yeah. 92 00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,019 Wow. There they are. 93 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,939 Cool. Wow. 94 00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,400 Cool. 95 00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,444 Look healthy. 96 00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:27,411 Well, look, I just wanted to apologize for how I handled things with your wife. 97 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:33,333 I felt-- Especially saying that you shouldn't marry her. 98 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,377 I regret that. 99 00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:38,672 Well... 100 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:40,883 What? 101 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:41,842 Nothing. 102 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:45,596 - What's-- You-- Yeah? You good? - Nothing. No, I'm just telling you. 103 00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,972 Yeah, great, no. 104 00:05:48,599 --> 00:05:50,809 - All right. I appreciate that. - Yeah. 105 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,645 Well, she's my ex-wife now, so... 106 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,025 - Oh, no! When did that happen? - Yes. 107 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,526 Just a few months ago. Yeah. 108 00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,070 - Oh, no. - Yep. 109 00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,990 How did that happen? What happened between you guys? 110 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,453 Nothing. It was mutual. It was very amicable and mutual. 111 00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,705 - Okay. - We're still friends. We hang out. 112 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,000 - Wow. That's very evolved. - Yes, very amicable. 113 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:19,213 And, yeah, you know, conscious uncoupling and all that. All that shit. 114 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:22,674 Well, divorce is hard. 115 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,092 Let's not. 116 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,849 - Well, this has been a blast. - This has been so nice to see you. 117 00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,685 Yeah. This has been a blast. This has been so fun. 118 00:06:34,811 --> 00:06:35,646 All right. 119 00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,483 - Okay. - Yeah. If you're around this weekend, 120 00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,567 - come to the party. - For sure. 121 00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,152 - I'll send you the details. - Yeah, definitely. 122 00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,946 - Yeah. Great. - I'll get a babysitter. Okay. 123 00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,677 I'm trying to wrap my head around this. 124 00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,012 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - She's gone for five years, 125 00:07:09,012 --> 00:07:11,181 - and now she's coming to our party? - Yes. 126 00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:12,850 That's a little fucked up. 127 00:07:12,850 --> 00:07:14,852 - Why is that fucked up? - You know, she never liked Audrey. 128 00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,979 Now Audrey's out of the picture, she's back. 129 00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,272 Feels a little fucked up to me. 130 00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,650 I actually don't think her hating Audrey has anything to do with her return. 131 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,862 She actually didn't even know that we were divorced when she asked me out to coffee. 132 00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,531 Wait, go back. Who's this chick that hates my sister so much? 133 00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:31,827 She's a friend of mine. And also, Audrey, my ex-wife, not your sister. 134 00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,911 She's your stepsister. 135 00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,955 And as far as I know, your parents got married when you were, like, 136 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,374 almost out of high school, so it's pretty weird how close you are. 137 00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,334 Also, you don't have to be here. 138 00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,044 We run the bar. You're an investor. 139 00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,131 You can stay home and defraud Seth Green out of NFTs, okay? 140 00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,091 - Look, I get what's happening here. - What? 141 00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,510 - You can't be friends with a girl. - That is absolutely not true. 142 00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,762 The whole movie When Harry Met Sally is dedicated to proving 143 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,389 the fact that you can be friends with a woman. 144 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,391 No, Will. That's a bad example. Harry marries Sally. 145 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,809 - They fuck. They're not friends. - Fact. 146 00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,103 That movie should be called When Harry Fucked Sally. 147 00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,981 You can only be friends with a woman if she's not hot. Double fact. 148 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:01,982 That is not true. 149 00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,443 - That's not what I said. Didn't say that. - No. Fellas, I agree with Will. 150 00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,904 Because I'm best friends with my aunt, and she's a perfect ten. 151 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,239 - Nice. - There you go. 152 00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:12,367 I have met your aunt, and she is hot. Fact. 153 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:16,538 - That's yucky. - Yeah, it's weird. Anyways. 154 00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,123 So, do you think she's gonna come or what? 155 00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,542 No. I do not think she'll come. She lives in Culver City. 156 00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,794 She has three or nine children. 157 00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:23,879 I can't remember, honestly, 158 00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,964 but it'll be logistically too hard for her to pull off. 159 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,132 I just invited her to be polite. 160 00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,592 Couldn't tell with that body. Good for her. 161 00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,011 I don't think you can tell how many kids someone has 162 00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,138 just from the way their body looks. 163 00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,599 I mean, consider for a moment, the termite queen. 164 00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:39,436 You wouldn't know by looking at it that it has thousands and thousands of offspring. 165 00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:43,482 Think we're gonna move you to the back of the house, Omar. 166 00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:51,657 - Bye. - Bye. 167 00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,116 Mommy, don't come with me. 168 00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,619 - What? - I'm not a baby anymore. 169 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,913 I'm in kindergarten. You don't have to come with me. 170 00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,249 I know, but I love to walk you to your classroom-- 171 00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,375 Stay. 172 00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:06,964 Okay. 173 00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,258 I forgot my water bottle. 174 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,719 Yes! 175 00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,847 Like it's any worse for him than a juice box. 176 00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,306 Did you see what just happened? 177 00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,059 Maeve didn't want me to walk her to her classroom anymore. 178 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,269 You had a good run. 179 00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,145 It's just so abrupt. 180 00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,064 I've been a full-time mom for the past 13 years, 181 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,192 and now no one even wants to be seen with me on the schoolyard. 182 00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,277 I do. 183 00:09:28,944 --> 00:09:30,153 Yeah, I thought I'd feel relieved 184 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:32,322 when Maeve finally went to kindergarten, you know? 185 00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:33,699 Have some time to myself. 186 00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,617 Have a shower. Make a salad. 187 00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,077 You were never gonna make a salad. 188 00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,663 And now I feel like everybody's just looking at me, going, 189 00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,248 "What are you gonna do with the rest of your life?" 190 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,710 No, no. No one is looking at us. We're invisible. 191 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,087 We're-- We're middle-aged women. Watch. 192 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:50,299 Hi. Morning, guys. How was the-- 193 00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,718 - No. - This is a midlife crisis. 194 00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:55,262 This is how a woman experiences a midlife crisis. 195 00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,930 You know what I'm thinking you should do? 196 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,849 - Please don't say it. - Etsy. 197 00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,393 - I was a lawyer. I have a law degree. - I always forget that. 198 00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,521 Remember how I told you I was catching up with that old friend of mine? 199 00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,150 He asked me what I did, and I showed him a picture of my kids. 200 00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:09,568 - Brutal. - Right? 201 00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,237 He couldn't get away from me fast enough. And I don't blame him. 202 00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:16,283 Honestly, he's, like, this hipster, brewpub, kind of fashion guy, 203 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,367 and I'm, like, a... 204 00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,746 He's hosting a party at his bar in the Arts District. 205 00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,497 We should go! 206 00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,791 What? No, no. No, it's not for people like us. 207 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,545 Maybe I'll meet somebody. I have had such a long dry spell. 208 00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,255 Yeah, that's where you're gonna meet someone. 209 00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,049 But who are you gonna meet at a downtown brewpub? 210 00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:35,552 - Shia LaBeouf. - Again? Still with the Shia LaBeouf? 211 00:10:36,386 --> 00:10:40,349 I'm sorry. I just happen to like them small and angry and crazy. 212 00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,601 And you know he's good at fucking. 213 00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,520 - No. - No, you know that he is. 214 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,605 Come on. Let's just go to the party. Who cares? 215 00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,273 This could be the last party before we die. 216 00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,567 - Can't argue with that. - No. 217 00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,152 Bye. 218 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,445 - Oh, my God. Bye, guys! - Bye. 219 00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,072 - See you at pickup. - Bye. 220 00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:00,035 - Pickpocket them, huh? I'm here. - Yes! Happily. 221 00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,620 - Yeah. I'm here. - Can't you see me? 222 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:05,165 - You don't see this? You don't see this? - I'm here. You don't see this? 223 00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,295 Do I look okay? 224 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,674 I feel I dress like a literal cougar. Like, it's leopard though. 225 00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,677 - I mean, do I look divorced and desperate? - No, you look great. 226 00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:20,013 Oh, holy shit! Everyone here is Frances's age. 227 00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:24,184 Oh, my God. Is that guy wearing a T-shirt and no pants? Is that cool now? 228 00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,353 Don't ask me. I know as nothing as you. 229 00:11:26,854 --> 00:11:27,980 Well, I'll tell you this. 230 00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,815 We may not be young, 231 00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:33,777 but we have life experience that none of these bitches have. 232 00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,281 Oh, yeah. Like-- Like how to swaddle a newborn. 233 00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,407 - Okay. Yeah. - Right? 234 00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:42,035 I'll tell you this much. We got better credit than anybody in here. 235 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,120 - Better credit! - Credit! 236 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:49,960 - Better credit, better credit - Better credit, better credit 237 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,295 Better credit... 238 00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,046 Sorry for existing. 239 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,966 I just-- This feels like it's gonna be awkward. I don't know. 240 00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,259 We could just go. 241 00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,594 Why don't we go and go somewhere else 242 00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,053 - and get a glass of wine-- - Okay, yeah. Sure. 243 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,264 - Hey! - Hi-- Hi! 244 00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,433 Oh, my God. He saw me. Hi! Hi! 245 00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,351 I don't wanna be here. I don't wanna be here. 246 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,562 - Hi. Hey! - Hey! You made it. 247 00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,564 - Yeah. Congrats. - Good to see you. 248 00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:13,108 - Thank you so much. Yeah. Hey. - Yeah, of course. This is Katie. 249 00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,152 - Hi. Hi. - Katie, Will. Andy. 250 00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,236 - Hi. - Katie. 251 00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,614 - Sylvia. - Hey, man. Congratulations, you guys. 252 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,283 - This is such an achievement. - So cool. It's so hip. 253 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,202 - Thank you. Thank you. - Yes. 254 00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:25,078 Will couldn't have done it without your support, Sylvia. 255 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,247 - Okay. Great. - I'm gonna-- I'm gonna get us some drinks. 256 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,917 Okay. Listen, I'm not gonna say no, 'cause, you know, it's your thing. 257 00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,418 - Okay. - I can get you to the front. 258 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:32,586 - Thanks. Thanks. - Yeah. Yeah. 259 00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,921 This is amazing. 260 00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,715 - You've really made this work. - We did it. Yeah, it's cool. 261 00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,092 - I have an idea for your next venture. - Yeah? What is it? 262 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,470 Yes. A wine pub. 263 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,765 A wine pub? Yeah. Like a place that serves wine and food? 264 00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,350 - Yes. - That's called a restaurant. 265 00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:49,061 - Yeah, not enough of those around, right? - I'm just saying. 266 00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,940 I could be sitting a-- on a chair having a glass of wine in this very spot. 267 00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,191 - That's very true. - So-- 268 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,694 Sorry to interrupt your story. 269 00:12:57,694 --> 00:13:00,113 The lady from LA Times is by the tanks if you want to talk to her. 270 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:01,532 Yeah, sure. 271 00:13:01,532 --> 00:13:02,866 - I'll be right back. - Yeah, cool. 272 00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,994 This is so good! I know you worked so hard on this and-- 273 00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,873 I don't know what you think you know, but the divorce is still fresh, okay? 274 00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,083 So be careful with my guy. 275 00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,460 You talked just as much shit about her as I did, 276 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,129 but I got blamed and cut out. That's not fair. That's sexist. 277 00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,840 Don't Susan B. Anthony me, okay? 278 00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,801 Just 'cause you got your Hillary Clinton white pantsuit on. 279 00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,303 - Wow. - Listen, I don't make the rules. 280 00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,471 I just respect 'em. 281 00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,889 I don't know what you're talking about. 282 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,975 - That doesn't make any sense-- - You know what I'm talking about. 283 00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:28,892 - So yeah. - Well, I don't. 284 00:13:29,768 --> 00:13:31,895 - Sorry. Little do-si-do. - Okay. 285 00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,982 Sorry. That was weird. Congrats. 286 00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,358 - Thank you. - There you go. 287 00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,069 - Hey! - So, I met a guy at the bar. 288 00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,779 - What? Tell me everything. - Yeah! 289 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,573 Well, I couldn't hear anything that he said. 290 00:13:42,573 --> 00:13:46,493 - Not a word, 'cause it's so loud in here. - Right. It's very loud. 291 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,453 And I couldn't see him very well. 292 00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,538 I don't have my glasses on. 293 00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:52,207 - But it's fun to be out! Yeah. - That's cute. 294 00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:55,002 Okay, well, I think we should-- We can get outta here. 295 00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,378 - Don't tear me away. - Okay. 296 00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:58,463 Yeah, I'm so fucking tired. 297 00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,218 Well, that was a bummer. 298 00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,762 - Yeah, I don't know. What did you expect? - I don't know. 299 00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,264 It's just so weird to be close with someone, 300 00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,808 and then all of a sudden you're complete strangers. 301 00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:13,145 Your friendship with Will is not built for this phase of life. 302 00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:16,190 I have a lot of male friends. I mean, I did. 303 00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:17,733 - I used to. - Yeah, so did I. 304 00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:21,111 My best friend in college, his name was Oren. 305 00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,571 - What happened? You still in touch? - Yeah. 306 00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:24,031 I talk to him on the phone every night. 307 00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,032 - Well, there you go. - What? 308 00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,159 Of course not! What do you think happened? 309 00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:30,162 - What? - No! No, I don't talk to him every night. 310 00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,246 What's wrong with you? 311 00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,374 We got very drunk, had sex, and then we never spoke again. 312 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:38,462 This thing with you and Will, it's just more trouble than it's worth. 313 00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,130 He's from your past. 314 00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,382 - He's like acid-washed jeans. - Well, they're back in fashion. 315 00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,968 - No. Stop. - They are. Frances told me. They're back. 316 00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,637 Goddamn it. 317 00:14:46,637 --> 00:14:49,806 What the f-- I just, just gave them away. 318 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,892 - Chill. - Shut up. Hey, how dare you? 319 00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,894 What the fuck is your fucking problem? 320 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,772 Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's Audrey. That's his ex-wife. 321 00:14:56,772 --> 00:15:01,068 Bringing a date to my bar? In what world is that okay? 322 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:03,153 - That's the ex-wife? - Yeah. 323 00:15:03,153 --> 00:15:04,279 Geez, she's hot. 324 00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,156 - Oh, my God. - She's a-- She's gorgeous. 325 00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,449 She's just gorgeous. 326 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,701 You have everything. You have the whole world. 327 00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:12,079 I have one place! This place! 328 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,873 And you bring a fucking Nazi to my bar? 329 00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,251 - Get this fucking guy out of here. - But I am from Norway 330 00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:21,672 where a social democratic alliance has controlled parliament for many-- 331 00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:23,590 Don't pretend your family likes Jews. 332 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,133 How fucking dare you? 333 00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,178 I know you guys are used to invading other people's territories, 334 00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,555 but this is my bar! 335 00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:31,515 This is my place! I get this in the divorce. 336 00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,600 This is not yours. It's my brother's bar. 337 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,018 He's your fucking stepbrother. 338 00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,396 Why do you fixate on that detail? It's so weird. 339 00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:39,690 Because I think it's weird how close you are, if I'm being honest. 340 00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:40,649 I think it's weird! 341 00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,068 Your stepbrother, by the way? Not the only owner of this bar. 342 00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:46,280 I own 24.5% of this fucking place! 343 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,364 And meanwhile, 344 00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,242 you're bringing Leni Riefenstahl's fucking key grip in here. 345 00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:53,745 Oh, no, Will. Oh, dear. He's unhinged. This is awful. 346 00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:55,289 This is so fun. 347 00:15:55,289 --> 00:15:58,542 - I love her shoes. - My God. That top. 348 00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:02,629 Okay, it was a mistake to bring him, but you need to cool down. 349 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,548 - You think? I won't cool down. - Take it down a notch. 350 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:08,177 In this place, I can be as uncool as I want. I'll bring it up 20 notches! 351 00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,553 That's how-- That's what I'm gonna do. 352 00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,597 - Yeah. Go back to the bunker. - Hey. 353 00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:12,890 Auf Wiedersehen. 354 00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,516 That was completely unprofessional, man. 355 00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,476 No fucking shit it was! Do you think I'm happy? 356 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,312 - Completely. - I know! 357 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:22,232 This is... I g-- I can't-- I have to stay. 358 00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,692 No, don't. 359 00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,861 No, no, no, it's not a big deal. He's just-- He looks so sad. 360 00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:26,945 No, I actually don't care. 361 00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,655 So I will see you at morning assembly tomorrow, 362 00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,865 - at 8:15. - Okay. Okay. 363 00:16:30,574 --> 00:16:33,702 - Jesus Christ. It's 10:15. - Okay. 364 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,412 Yeah, I-- That's why I'm going home. 365 00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:36,955 Okay. 366 00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,501 - Hey, buddy. - Hey. 367 00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:41,585 You okay? 368 00:16:42,711 --> 00:16:47,216 No. I need to get outta here. Do you wanna get a drink somewhere else? 369 00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,884 - Yeah, sure. - Okay. 370 00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,930 I thought you guys ended on friendly terms. 371 00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,765 That-- That didn't seem very friendly. 372 00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:58,185 Can you tell me what happened? Like, why it ended and... 373 00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:02,272 She just started to, you know, 374 00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:06,484 think I was not ambitious enough and not a serious person. 375 00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,819 And she thought I drank too much. 376 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,531 - Which is, like, literally your job. - Literally my job. 377 00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:13,742 I'm working right now. I'm killing it. Putting in overtime, you know? 378 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:14,826 But-- 379 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:18,829 And then she kinda moved up in the world as an art dealer 380 00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,458 and she just started to look at me like I was a fucking loser. 381 00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:25,462 And so I did the mature, responsible thing 382 00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:28,757 and I hooked up with a rando one night. 383 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,888 - So you really are the hero of this story. - I think I look pretty good, right? 384 00:17:35,597 --> 00:17:36,640 Coming out on top. 385 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,642 - Yeah, you crushed it. - Yeah, yeah. 386 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:43,522 Well, there's a lot of pretty lasses here, huh? 387 00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,732 Maybe you just need to be with someone else. 388 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,901 I don't think-- That is not what I need. 389 00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:52,239 I don't mean like a life partner, but just someone for a bit of fun. 390 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,491 You know, I could do my whole thing again. 391 00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:58,161 I could dust off my wings and be your wing-lass. 392 00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,372 It's okay. Are you drunk? How many drinks have you had? 393 00:18:00,914 --> 00:18:02,916 I've had two beers, so yes, I am. 394 00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:06,211 This is not a "meet people" bar. This is a trauma bar, okay? 395 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,421 Where you going? 396 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,886 Hi. Hi, ladies. 397 00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,556 He has a lot of tattoos. I see you have some tattoos, huh? 398 00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,600 - Yeah. I do. - What does this one mean? 399 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,227 It's a tribute to my boyfriend who was murdered a year ago. 400 00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,980 Do you mind me asking what happened? I've never met anyone who was-- 401 00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,356 Well, he was stabbed. 402 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:28,817 Okay, thank you. Nice meeting you. 403 00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,819 - It was lovely to meet you. - Bring it in. 404 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,362 Cheers. Bye. 405 00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,281 - Sorry. - Jesus. 406 00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:37,910 She seemed really sweet but I think she had a lot of baggage. 407 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:40,579 You think? At least if I'm with her, I know if I die, 408 00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,289 I'll be honored in the form of a tramp stamp. 409 00:18:42,873 --> 00:18:44,374 I can't be dating right now. 410 00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,877 It is humiliating. I'm 40 years old, okay? 411 00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:50,339 I-- The thought of it is-- gives me a panic attack, you know? 412 00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:53,467 Look. Look at this guy. Look at this cutie. 413 00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:57,346 Remember him? He was the king of pussy town! 414 00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,847 We don't really say that anymore. 415 00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:02,893 I'm sorry, he was the emperor of pussy town. 416 00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:06,563 The president of the pussy. P-town-- P-town daddy. 417 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,689 - All jokes aside... - Come on. 418 00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,858 ...look how young and virile I am. 419 00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:16,114 And my look almost seems as though it is single-handedly being pulled together 420 00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:19,243 through this amazing golden chai necklace. 421 00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:21,787 - Oh, God. Here we go. - My beautiful chai. 422 00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:23,580 This was the best thing that ever happened to me. 423 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,708 And now-- Honestly, now that I think about it, my entire life went downhill 424 00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,379 the moment my chai necklace was thrown away. 425 00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,715 I am not gonna apologize for getting rid of that thing. 426 00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,592 Men can't wear gold necklaces. 427 00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:36,677 That was so ugly. 428 00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:39,513 - Tell that to Mel Gibson. - Exactly. 429 00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,516 Literally you have to tell him, 'cause he will not talk to Jewish people. 430 00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:45,018 - All right. That's it. Let's go. - Where we going? 431 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,062 I'm gonna get you a new chai necklace. 432 00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,022 - A chai necklace? - A chai necklace. 433 00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:52,568 I don't know if there's any 24-hour Judaica stores in the neighborhood, 434 00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,486 - but we'll find one. - Come on, Mel. Let's go. 435 00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:56,113 Thank you. Good to see you. 436 00:19:58,782 --> 00:19:59,825 Here we are. 437 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:07,541 - Hello. Hi, hi, hi. - Hello. We request access. 438 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:08,709 - Yeah. - Come in. 439 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,336 - Hello. - Hello. 440 00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:16,216 - You looking for a guitar? - No. 441 00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,510 'Cause this one belonged to Mick Jagger. 442 00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,388 What? How much is it? 443 00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,514 A thousand. 444 00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,934 That seems like a bargain for Mick Jagger's guitar. 445 00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,312 We could buy it and sell it for a profit. 446 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:30,689 - It's not Mick Jagger's guitar. - I'm just saying. 447 00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:34,067 - That might be Rick Jagger's guitar. - Well, I have an interested buyer. 448 00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,819 We're good. 449 00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:37,446 What the fuck? 450 00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,075 Look at that. I want that. 451 00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,243 The dog? 452 00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:46,246 No, not that. The-- The "W" hanging off the collar. "W." 453 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,874 Will. I'm Will. That stands for Will. 454 00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:51,460 That's sterling silver. Fifty bucks. 455 00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:53,086 - Wow. - Fifty dollars. 456 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:56,798 - Sterling silver. Really? - That deal. Sterling silver, $50. 457 00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:57,883 Okay. 458 00:20:57,883 --> 00:20:59,134 Come on. Look at that! 459 00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:01,512 - Okay. Sold. - You got a deal, sir. 460 00:21:01,512 --> 00:21:02,763 Thank you. 461 00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:03,931 Go on and get it now. 462 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,975 - Pardon me? - I'm not taking anything from Wrestler. 463 00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:12,105 Okay, all right. Thank you, sir. I would like a refund. 464 00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:17,361 Come on, man. You just took my money, like, just then. 465 00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,112 Yo. 466 00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:22,282 - We got this. - I can't steal the-- I can't-- 467 00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,826 I've-- I'm a married woman. I have three children. 468 00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:27,204 I can't get attacked by a Doberman. 469 00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:30,165 - Why did you come out tonight? - I wanted to see you, catch up. 470 00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:34,294 No. No, no, no. That is not why you came out. You came out to have fun. 471 00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,672 - I did. - So why don't we have fun? 472 00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:37,589 - Let's do it. Come on. - Okay. 473 00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:39,466 Your kids will think it's cool if their mother's missing an ear. 474 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,426 Plea-- No, no, no. Come on. 475 00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,720 Just-- You calm the beast as I approach him. 476 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,514 - How? How-- What shall I-- - Just-- I don't know. 477 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:51,144 Ring around the rosy Pocket full of posies... 478 00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,813 I feel like I'm in a fucking horror movie now. 479 00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,231 - ...A tissue, a t-- - That's not helping. 480 00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:55,315 Just do something else. 481 00:21:55,315 --> 00:22:00,821 Hi, sweet girl. Hi. I paid for this. 482 00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,657 Stay. Thank you. 483 00:22:05,075 --> 00:22:08,912 Okay. Okay. Okay. 484 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,415 Go, go, go! 485 00:22:14,459 --> 00:22:15,669 Okay. 486 00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:18,505 - Go! - Right, go, go, go. 487 00:22:20,465 --> 00:22:23,635 - Yes! Yes! Worth it! - Oh, my God. Yes! We got it! Yes! 488 00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:24,845 - Oh, God. - Yes! 489 00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:28,390 - You want a weed gummy? - Yes! Oh, yes, I do. 490 00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,725 - Let's go. - Thank you. 491 00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:42,196 - Pretty okay fries, am I right? - It's good. 492 00:22:43,405 --> 00:22:44,239 So good. 493 00:22:45,908 --> 00:22:48,243 I forgot you get like this when you're high. 494 00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:49,411 I'm not that high. 495 00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:50,579 Not that high. 496 00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:55,626 So what's it like to be in a healthy marriage? Is that cool? 497 00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,377 - It's good. - It's good? 498 00:22:57,961 --> 00:22:59,213 Charlie was always pretty perfect. 499 00:23:00,172 --> 00:23:02,257 He's great. And he just-- he just gets happier. 500 00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:03,967 He's-- Just gets happier. 501 00:23:04,468 --> 00:23:05,719 - That's a nightmare. - It's like, 502 00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:08,138 - this is really his moment, you know? - This is his moment. 503 00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:11,225 - Loves being a grown-up. - He loves being a grown-up. 504 00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:14,394 - So good at being a dad. - He's good at being a dad. 505 00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:17,606 I didn't understand that at all. 506 00:23:18,106 --> 00:23:20,275 He just makes it look easy and-- 507 00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,487 You know, I kinda look like a-- like a mess next to him. 508 00:23:23,487 --> 00:23:26,406 You? It makes you look like a mess? 509 00:23:27,282 --> 00:23:28,283 You? 510 00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:30,244 Impossible. 511 00:23:30,244 --> 00:23:33,580 No one in a napkin bib can be a mess, by definition. 512 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:35,123 You've taken preventive measures. 513 00:23:37,668 --> 00:23:42,506 How are your... relations? 514 00:23:43,674 --> 00:23:45,384 There is one thing about the sex that's like-- 515 00:23:45,384 --> 00:23:47,010 Okay. There you go. 516 00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,555 What is it? Good sex? Bad sex? Not enough sex? 517 00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:52,182 No. Just a little bit time-consuming. 518 00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:53,600 Time-consuming sex. 519 00:23:54,685 --> 00:23:56,562 - What are we talking about, time wise? - Half an hour. 520 00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:58,146 - Half an hour? - Yeah, half an hour. 521 00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:01,191 That's like Modern Family with commercials. 522 00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:03,569 If I lasted half an hour, I would throw a parade. 523 00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:08,866 It's too long. It really is too long. Here's-- Exactly. Wrap it up. 524 00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:10,325 - What are we doing here? - Wrap it up. 525 00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:11,910 I-- Here's a little secret. 526 00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:14,955 I was with a lady once, and we were having sex. 527 00:24:14,955 --> 00:24:17,875 I was very drunk so I was not-- I couldn't finish. 528 00:24:18,834 --> 00:24:23,046 She did this thing where she, like, punched me in the back, 529 00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:25,465 kind of in the lower back, lower kidneys kind of. 530 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:28,969 And I don't know what it did. It, like, flipped some jizz switch in my body, 531 00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:31,346 and I came instantaneously. 532 00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,098 - What? - Yes. 533 00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:36,310 - Is it-- Show me. Where is the button? - The cum button? 534 00:24:39,146 --> 00:24:41,398 This area right here. I think. 535 00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:42,983 - Right in this area. - All right. 536 00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:46,236 Well, I don't-- I don't want anything to happen. 537 00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:48,614 - Don't worry. That's disgusting. - I don't care. 538 00:24:48,614 --> 00:24:50,324 - This is a medical lesson. - I don't want-- 539 00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:52,576 Don't flatter yourself. Come on. 540 00:24:52,576 --> 00:24:53,660 Now punch my cum button. 541 00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,245 All right, I'm doing it. Okay. 542 00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:57,289 There you go. 543 00:24:57,289 --> 00:24:59,833 Except you hit my fart switch instead of my cum button. 544 00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:01,293 - The fart switch? - Oh, yeah. 545 00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:04,213 They're right next door, so you gotta be careful. 546 00:25:06,215 --> 00:25:07,633 All right. What do you wanna do now? 547 00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:09,301 Let's get-- Let's go to Korean barbecue. 548 00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:11,637 No. Oh, no, no, no. I'm going home. 549 00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:14,973 What? Come on. I thought you were in this with me. 550 00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:18,852 - I am. I'm totally in this with you. I am. - I'm so depressed. I need you. Don't go. 551 00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:22,814 But I just have so many things tomorrow and they all start so early. 552 00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:24,316 Fair-weather friend. 553 00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:25,526 - Fair-weather friend? - Yeah. 554 00:25:25,526 --> 00:25:27,236 The minute I heard, I called you. 555 00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:28,820 Wait, what? 556 00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,323 I said the minute I heard about you and Audrey, I got in touch. 557 00:25:31,323 --> 00:25:33,909 - I ain't no fair-weather friend. - Wait, that's why you got in touch? 558 00:25:34,618 --> 00:25:37,996 Yeah, well, and I mean, I got in touch to apologize to you, which I did. 559 00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:41,708 It was a pity call? You knew? You knew we were divorced? 560 00:25:42,876 --> 00:25:44,545 What's wrong with that, if it was? 561 00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,797 I-- You're my friend, I heard the news, 562 00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:49,049 I got in touch, and I was worried about you. 563 00:25:49,049 --> 00:25:50,133 Okay. 564 00:25:51,176 --> 00:25:53,637 Let's get into it, huh? Shall we? 565 00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:55,931 We were friends and then you threw that friendship away 566 00:25:55,931 --> 00:25:57,808 because you didn't like the woman that I was gonna marry. 567 00:25:57,808 --> 00:25:59,726 And then you heard we were getting divorced, 568 00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:02,062 and you come back around to do a fucking victory lap. 569 00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:04,189 My position remains unchanged. 570 00:26:04,189 --> 00:26:06,733 She was terrible for you. And look what happened. 571 00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:08,443 I just-- I was in love, 572 00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:10,737 and I just wanted you to support me. That's all I wanted. 573 00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:12,739 I was just being honest because I love you. 574 00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:14,783 And you didn't wanna hear it, so you ditched me. 575 00:26:14,783 --> 00:26:17,411 I didn't-- I ditched you 'cause it's hard to be friends with someone 576 00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,037 who you know hates your wife. 577 00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,456 Isn't honesty what you want from your closest friends? 578 00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:24,251 - No! Not when it's bad. - Andy didn't love Audrey, 579 00:26:24,251 --> 00:26:26,628 but you didn't hold that against him, did you? What's that about? 580 00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,173 It's different with men than it is with women. 581 00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:31,425 - Men, they're-- they're-- He's a l-- - Fuck off. 582 00:26:31,425 --> 00:26:33,343 - They're more mellow about this shit. - That's bullshit. That's s-- 583 00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:36,805 That's ridiculous. And it's fucking bullshit, and it's insulting. 584 00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:38,515 Sometimes the truth is insulting. Men are more mellow. 585 00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:39,975 - That doesn't make sense. - Don't know what to say. 586 00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:42,519 Yeah, men are really mellow. You know who starts wars? Men. 587 00:26:42,519 --> 00:26:45,939 You think George W. Bush was really fucking mellow when he invaded Iraq? 588 00:26:45,939 --> 00:26:47,691 Ever heard of Mary Queen of Scots? 589 00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:50,444 Please tell me one thing about Mary Queen of Scots. 590 00:26:50,444 --> 00:26:51,945 Bloody Mary. That's what they call her. 591 00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,655 And you don't get that name by being mellow. 592 00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:55,532 Margaret Thatcher, she was a fucking asshole. 593 00:26:55,532 --> 00:26:59,036 That Cara Delevingne, she seems like a fucking mess. 594 00:26:59,036 --> 00:27:00,787 - Okay? - Okay, see you later. 595 00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,207 - See you later. Have a good one. - Yeah. Yeah. 596 00:27:03,207 --> 00:27:04,958 - Keep it real. - Okay. 597 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:07,044 And by the way, that shit, that's from 20 years ago. 598 00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,921 So is this. 599 00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:11,006 That's a good one. 600 00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:18,347 - Bye. Fuck you. - Yeah, fuck you. 601 00:27:18,347 --> 00:27:20,724 Hello, sir. Thank you so much. 602 00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:27,523 What do I even do now? 603 00:27:54,925 --> 00:27:57,845 - Hi. - Hi, baby. 604 00:27:57,845 --> 00:27:58,929 How was it? 605 00:27:59,805 --> 00:28:02,933 It was just the same old shit with a bunch of drama. 606 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:06,061 You smell like french fries. 607 00:28:07,229 --> 00:28:08,689 Yeah, we went to Denny's. 608 00:28:10,691 --> 00:28:11,817 I missed you. 609 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:13,443 Missed you too. 610 00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:26,957 Hi. 611 00:28:26,957 --> 00:28:28,542 - Hi. - Hi. 612 00:28:32,629 --> 00:28:33,630 Oh, yeah. 613 00:28:34,590 --> 00:28:36,717 Let's take our time tonight. 614 00:28:43,182 --> 00:28:44,183 What was that? 615 00:28:44,683 --> 00:28:47,811 Sorry. Sorry, it was just an arm spasm. I'm sorry. 616 00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:50,022 Jesus, you really got me there, champ. 617 00:28:50,564 --> 00:28:51,565 Sorry, I just-- 618 00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:54,151 You good? 619 00:28:54,151 --> 00:28:57,237 No, I think the moment kinda passed. 620 00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:59,198 - Yeah. Yeah, I get it. - Okay. 621 00:28:59,198 --> 00:29:00,282 Okay. 622 00:29:00,824 --> 00:29:02,784 - Sorry. Okay. - It's okay. 623 00:29:02,784 --> 00:29:04,620 - I got one in the post. - It's okay. 624 00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:05,704 Night. 625 00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:27,434 Back punch did not work, asshole. 626 00:29:27,434 --> 00:29:29,561 - You actually tried that? - Of course I did. 627 00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:31,063 I made that up. 628 00:29:31,063 --> 00:29:32,397 - You're a liar. - I am. 629 00:29:32,397 --> 00:29:35,192 You're gonna pay for this. You're gonna pay for this so hard. 630 00:29:35,192 --> 00:29:36,610 Well, bring it on. 631 00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:38,737 So, what are you doing now? 632 00:29:38,737 --> 00:29:40,864 I'm bidding on Garbage Pail Kids on eBay. 633 00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:42,950 Did you get anything good? 634 00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,868 I got an Adam Head in mint condition. 635 00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:46,078 I'm kidding. I don't care. 636 00:29:47,663 --> 00:29:50,791 What are you doing? Online shopping for a fifth pair of high-waisted jeans? 637 00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:52,793 Fuck off. And yes. How did you know? 638 00:29:52,793 --> 00:29:54,002 Should we hang out again? 639 00:29:54,002 --> 00:29:56,255 Sure, how about, like, five years from now? 640 00:29:56,255 --> 00:29:59,424 Cool. But Tuesdays are bad 'cause your mom comes over. 641 00:30:01,510 --> 00:30:04,388 Thank you for capitalizing her name. Very respectful. 642 00:30:04,388 --> 00:30:07,307 She's a working dominatrix, so she demands respect. 643 00:30:07,307 --> 00:30:09,852 Nice try. My mom only goes to duck ponds and church. 644 00:30:09,852 --> 00:30:11,270 That actually sounds nice. 645 00:30:11,270 --> 00:30:12,354 It is nice.