1
00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:17,184
- [parent 1] Okay, here we go. [sighs]
- Okay, okay. Family movie night, guys.
2
00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:18,268
- Yeah.
- What we gonna watch?
3
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:21,438
- We've all gotta agree on something.
- I wanna watch The Emoji Movie.
4
00:00:21,438 --> 00:00:22,606
- [parent 2] Okay.
- [sighs]
5
00:00:22,606 --> 00:00:23,982
Come on. You've seen it 8,000 times.
6
00:00:23,982 --> 00:00:26,818
Yeah, sweetie, I really don't think
I can watch The Emoji Movie again.
7
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,487
But that's what I wanna watch.
8
00:00:28,487 --> 00:00:29,571
What about Inside Out?
9
00:00:29,571 --> 00:00:31,532
- It's so cute. It's not for me.
- [parent 1] Okay.
10
00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,325
- I think you'll like it.
- You just wanna watch it again.
11
00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:34,660
You always tear up.
12
00:00:34,660 --> 00:00:36,370
Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie!
13
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,038
- How about John Wick?
- What?
14
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:40,040
- We're not watching John Wick, Simon.
- No. We're not watching--
15
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,917
- How do you-- No.
- What? No.
16
00:00:41,917 --> 00:00:43,877
Well, maybe there's something new
that came out. Let me check.
17
00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,128
Good idea.
18
00:00:45,128 --> 00:00:48,131
- Okay.
- [child 1] Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie!
19
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:49,633
Oh, whoa.
20
00:00:50,509 --> 00:00:51,510
- What?
- [Simon] What?
21
00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,554
- Will's getting a divorce.
- Who's Will?
22
00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:56,598
- Will's getting a divorce?
- Yeah. Audrey just posted it on her Insta.
23
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:58,809
- [Simon] Who's Will?
- Wait, you didn't know that?
24
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:01,436
- No. I haven't spoken to him for so long.
- Who's Will?
25
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,772
[stammers] He's a... [stammers]
...old friend of mine, honey.
26
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:06,066
There was a time when Will
was Mommy's best friend.
27
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:08,527
- Like, an ex?
- No. Just a friend.
28
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,153
With benefits?
29
00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,073
- No. Ew. What? No benefits.
- No.
30
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:16,535
Yeah. In fact, Will was your mom's
maid of honor at our wedding.
31
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,954
[Simon] What are we watching
for family movie night?
32
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,706
- Emoji Movie, Emoji Movie.
- I can't. I--
33
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:23,000
I can't watch The Emoji Movie again.
I just can't.
34
00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,377
- Oh, babe, why do you care?
- It's a movie about fonts.
35
00:01:25,377 --> 00:01:26,628
- How about Halloween?
- [child 3] No.
36
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,880
- It doesn't matter.
- Talking fonts.
37
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:29,423
- Poop emoji!
- [parent 1] It's wrong.
38
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,466
- We have so little time together.
- [children chattering]
39
00:01:31,466 --> 00:01:33,343
- Poop emoji! [chuckles]
- What about Dahmer?
40
00:01:33,343 --> 00:01:34,636
- [parent 1 exclaims] No.
- Dahmer?
41
00:01:34,636 --> 00:01:36,096
Why not? We should watch Dahmer.
42
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,222
- Dahmer? Okay.
- [Simon] Yeah.
43
00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,099
I know what we're gonna do.
44
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,979
[chuckling] Poop emoji.
45
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,608
[inhales deeply, sighs]
46
00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:51,028
- You should call Will.
- I'm the last person he'd wanna hear from.
47
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,739
You're overthinking it.
He probably really wants to hear from you.
48
00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,324
[sighs] I don't know.
49
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,492
We literally haven't spoken to each other
in years.
50
00:01:57,492 --> 00:02:00,245
We parted on the worst terms.
His wife hated me.
51
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:02,372
- You hated her.
- Well, it wasn't that simple.
52
00:02:02,915 --> 00:02:05,125
I told him I thought Audrey
was terrible for him,
53
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:06,210
and then he married her.
54
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,044
Well, looks like he came around.
55
00:02:08,044 --> 00:02:11,381
[chuckles] Well, it definitely
wasn't worth losing a friend over.
56
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,633
Yeah, so call him.
57
00:02:12,633 --> 00:02:15,260
- [sighs] It'll just be weird.
- Why?
58
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,345
I don't know.
59
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:19,681
Men and women don't really hang out
with each other at our age.
60
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,433
- That's not true.
- Come on.
61
00:02:21,433 --> 00:02:22,726
All our friends are couple friends,
62
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:25,062
and you talk to the men,
and I talk to the women.
63
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,688
[sighs] Yeah, I guess that is true.
64
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,525
When did it become so hard
for men and women to socialize?
65
00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:33,195
- After we got married? After we had kids?
- Well, you and Will predate all that.
66
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:36,865
I guess. Poor Will.
He's probably pretty lonely.
67
00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:39,618
Call him. That's what friends do.
68
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,164
["We Used to Be Friends" playing]
69
00:03:52,649 --> 00:03:55,569
- Hi. Oh, my God. Ah.
- [chuckling] Hey. Look at you.
70
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:58,238
- How are you? Ah.
- I'm great. How are you?
71
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,033
- You look well. This--
- I am. Feeling good.
72
00:04:01,033 --> 00:04:04,453
- Your T-shirt's good. It's nice. Yeah.
- Yeah, thank you.
73
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:07,414
[chuckles] You look like
a '90s grunge clown.
74
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:13,587
Ah, gosh. How is it go--
How's the beer business?
75
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,671
Very good, yeah.
76
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:17,757
Um, I'm actually the brewmaster
at my own, uh, bar now.
77
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:21,136
- What? Congratulations.
- Thank you. [chuckles]
78
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,304
- Yeah.
- Very cool.
79
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,890
Uh, I'm actually-- We're having a party
at the bar this weekend.
80
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:26,892
- Okay.
- Yeah. If, uh-- If you're around, uh--
81
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:29,436
If you're around this weekend, uh,
stop by the bar.
82
00:04:29,436 --> 00:04:31,730
- Oh, I'd love to. Yeah.
- Yeah, I'll send you the details.
83
00:04:33,023 --> 00:04:36,276
[inhales deeply]
Um, are you still, uh, lawyering?
84
00:04:36,902 --> 00:04:39,613
Charlie just made partner,
and I-- I help him out.
85
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:40,697
Oh, wow.
86
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:43,450
So, uh, you work at the firm
with Charlie still?
87
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,536
We've been doing a lot of work.
It's been great.
88
00:04:46,245 --> 00:04:49,873
You and Charlie are currently employed
at the same law firm?
89
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,792
I am not on salary.
90
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:54,294
But that's society for you.
91
00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:58,131
I do not work currently.
92
00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,717
I see. You are unemployed currently.
93
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,012
Um, you still got that, uh,
family of yours?
94
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:05,347
Yeah. You wanna see a photo?
95
00:05:06,265 --> 00:05:07,307
Yeah.
96
00:05:10,018 --> 00:05:11,019
Wow. There they are.
97
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,939
Cool. Wow.
98
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:16,400
Cool.
99
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:19,444
Look healthy.
100
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:25,158
Well, look, I-I just wanted
to, um, apologize
101
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:27,411
for how I handled things with your wife.
102
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:33,333
I felt, um-- Especially saying
that you shouldn't marry her.
103
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:35,377
I regret that.
104
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,883
- Well... [chuckling]
- [chuckles] What?
105
00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:42,509
- Nothing. [chuckles]
- Oh. [chuckles]
106
00:05:42,509 --> 00:05:45,596
- What's, uh-- Y-- You-- Yeah? You good?
- Nothing. No, I'm just telling you.
107
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,972
- [chuckles]
- Yeah, great, no.
108
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:50,809
- Um, all right. I appreciate that.
- [inhales deeply, sighs] Yeah.
109
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,645
Well, she's my ex-wife now, so...
110
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:58,025
- Oh, no! When did that happen?
- Yes.
111
00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,526
Just a few months ago. Yeah.
112
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,070
- Oh, no.
- Yep.
113
00:06:02,070 --> 00:06:04,990
How did that happen?
What happened between you guys?
114
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,453
Nothing. It was mutual.
Uh, it was, uh, very amicable and mutual.
115
00:06:09,453 --> 00:06:11,705
- Okay.
- We're still friends. We hang out.
116
00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,000
- Wow. That's very evolved.
- Yes, very amicable.
117
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:19,213
Um, and, uh, yeah, you know, conscious
uncoupling and all that. All that shit.
118
00:06:20,214 --> 00:06:22,674
[clears throat] Well, divorce is hard.
119
00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,092
Let's not.
120
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,849
- Well, this has been a blast.
- This has been so-- so nice to see you.
121
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:33,685
Yeah. This has been a blast.
This has been so fun.
122
00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:35,395
Um, all right.
123
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,483
- Okay.
- Um, yeah. If you're around this weekend,
124
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,567
- come to the party.
- For sure.
125
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:42,152
- I'll send you the details.
- Yeah, definitely.
126
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:43,946
- Yeah. Great.
- I'll get a babysitter. Okay.
127
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:50,327
[clears throat]
128
00:06:51,912 --> 00:06:52,955
[sighs]
129
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,588
["Stranded" playing]
130
00:07:05,008 --> 00:07:06,677
[bartender]
I'm trying to wrap my head around this.
131
00:07:06,677 --> 00:07:09,137
- [Will] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.
- She's gone for five years,
132
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,181
- and now she's coming to our party?
- Yes.
133
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,432
Mmm. That's a little fucked up.
134
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,852
- Why is that fucked up?
- You know, she never liked Audrey.
135
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,979
Now Audrey's out of the picture,
she's back.
136
00:07:16,979 --> 00:07:18,272
Feels a little fucked up to me.
137
00:07:18,272 --> 00:07:21,650
I actually don't think her hating Audrey
has anything to do with her return.
138
00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,862
She actually didn't even know that we were
divorced when she asked me out to coffee.
139
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,531
Wait, go back. Who's this chick
that hates my sister so much?
140
00:07:27,531 --> 00:07:31,827
She's a friend of mine. And also,
Audrey, my ex-wife, not your sister.
141
00:07:31,827 --> 00:07:32,911
She's your stepsister.
142
00:07:32,911 --> 00:07:34,955
And as far as I know, your parents
got married when you were, like,
143
00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:37,374
almost out of high school,
so it's pretty weird how close you are.
144
00:07:37,374 --> 00:07:39,334
Also, you don't have to be here.
145
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,044
We run the bar. You're an investor.
146
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,131
You can stay home
and defraud Seth Green out of NFTs, okay?
147
00:07:44,131 --> 00:07:46,091
- Look, I get what's happening here.
- What?
148
00:07:46,091 --> 00:07:48,510
- You can't be friends with a girl.
- That is absolutely not true.
149
00:07:48,510 --> 00:07:50,762
The whole movie When Harry Met Sally
is dedicated to proving
150
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,389
the fact that you can be friends
with a woman.
151
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,391
No, Will. That's a bad example.
Harry marries Sally.
152
00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,809
- They fuck. They're not friends.
- Fact.
153
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:58,103
That movie should be called
When Harry Fucked Sally.
154
00:07:58,103 --> 00:08:00,981
You can only be friends with a woman
if she's not hot. Double fact.
155
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:01,982
That is not true.
156
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:04,443
- That's not what I said. Didn't say that.
- No. Fellas, I agree with Will.
157
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,904
Because I'm best friends with my aunt,
and she's a perfect ten.
158
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:09,239
- Nice.
- There you go.
159
00:08:09,239 --> 00:08:12,367
I have met your aunt,
and she is hot. Fact.
160
00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:16,538
- That's yucky.
- Yeah, it's weird. Anyways.
161
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,123
So, do you think she's gonna come or what?
162
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:20,542
No. I do not think she'll come.
She lives in Culver City.
163
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:22,794
She has three or nine children.
164
00:08:22,794 --> 00:08:23,879
I can't remember, honestly,
165
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:25,964
but it'll be logistically too hard
for her to pull off.
166
00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:27,132
I just invited her to be polite.
167
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,592
Couldn't tell with that body.
Good for her.
168
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:31,011
Whoa, whoa. I don't think you can tell
how many kids someone has
169
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,138
just from the way their body looks.
170
00:08:33,138 --> 00:08:35,599
I mean, consider for a moment,
the termite queen.
171
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:39,436
You wouldn't know by looking at it that it
has thousands and thousands of offspring.
172
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:43,482
Think we're gonna move you
to the back of the house, Omar.
173
00:08:50,656 --> 00:08:51,657
- Bye.
- Bye.
174
00:08:51,657 --> 00:08:53,116
Mommy, don't come with me.
175
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:55,619
- What?
- I'm not a baby anymore.
176
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:57,913
I'm in kindergarten.
You don't have to come with me.
177
00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,249
Oh, I know, but I love to walk you
to your classroom--
178
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,375
Stay.
179
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:06,964
Okay.
180
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,258
[groans] I forgot my water bottle.
181
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,719
Yes!
182
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,847
Like it's any worse for him
than a juice box.
183
00:09:14,847 --> 00:09:16,306
Did you see what just happened?
184
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:19,059
Maeve didn't want me to walk her
to her classroom anymore.
185
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,269
You had a good run.
186
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:22,145
It's just so abrupt.
187
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:24,064
I've been a full-time mom
for the past 13 years,
188
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:27,192
and now no one even wants to be seen
with me on the schoolyard.
189
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,277
I do.
190
00:09:28,277 --> 00:09:30,112
[chuckles]
Yeah, I thought I'd feel relieved
191
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,322
when Maeve finally
went to kindergarten, you know?
192
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:33,699
Have some time to myself.
193
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,617
Have a shower. Make a salad.
194
00:09:35,617 --> 00:09:37,077
You were never gonna make a salad.
195
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,663
And now I feel like everybody's
just looking at me, going,
196
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:41,248
"What are you gonna do
with the rest of your life?"
197
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,710
No, no. No one is looking at us.
We're invisible.
198
00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:47,087
- [chuckles]
- We're-- We're middle-aged women. Watch.
199
00:09:47,671 --> 00:09:50,299
Oh, hi. Morning, guys. How was the--
200
00:09:51,008 --> 00:09:52,718
- No.
- This is a midlife crisis.
201
00:09:52,718 --> 00:09:55,262
This is how a woman experiences
a midlife crisis.
202
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:56,930
You know what I'm thinking you should do?
203
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,849
- Please don't say it.
- Etsy.
204
00:09:58,849 --> 00:10:01,393
- I was a lawyer. I have a law degree.
- I always forget that.
205
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,521
Remember how I told you I was
catching up with that old friend of mine?
206
00:10:04,521 --> 00:10:08,150
He asked me what I did,
and I showed him a picture of my kids.
207
00:10:08,150 --> 00:10:09,568
- Oof, brutal.
- Right?
208
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:12,237
He couldn't get away from me fast enough.
And I don't blame him.
209
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:16,283
Honestly, he's, like, this hipster,
brewpub, kind of fashion guy,
210
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:17,367
and I'm, like, a...
211
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:20,746
He's hosting a party
at his bar in the Arts District.
212
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:22,497
We should go!
213
00:10:22,497 --> 00:10:24,791
What? No, no.
No, it's not for people like us.
214
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:28,545
Maybe I'll meet somebody.
I have had such a long dry spell.
215
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,255
Yeah, that's where
you're gonna meet someone.
216
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:32,049
But who are you gonna meet
at a downtown brewpub?
217
00:10:32,049 --> 00:10:35,552
- Shia LaBeouf.
- Oh. Again? Still with the Shia LaBeouf?
218
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:40,349
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I just happen
to like them small and angry and crazy.
219
00:10:40,349 --> 00:10:42,601
And you know he's good at fucking.
220
00:10:42,601 --> 00:10:44,520
- No.
- No, you know that he is.
221
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,605
Come on. Let's just go to the party.
Who cares?
222
00:10:46,605 --> 00:10:48,273
This could be the last party
before we die.
223
00:10:49,024 --> 00:10:50,567
- Can't argue with that.
- No.
224
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,152
Bye.
225
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,445
- Oh, my God. Bye, guys!
- Bye.
226
00:10:53,445 --> 00:10:55,072
- See you at pickup.
- Bye.
227
00:10:57,533 --> 00:11:00,035
- Pickpocket them, huh? I'm here.
- Yes! Happily.
228
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,620
- Yeah. I'm here.
- Can't you see me?
229
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:05,165
- You don't see this? You don't see this?
- I'm here. You don't see this? [chuckles]
230
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,295
Do I look okay?
231
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,674
I feel I dress like a literal cougar.
Like... [stammers] ...it's leopard though.
232
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:16,677
- I mean, do I look divorced and desperate?
- No, you look great.
233
00:11:16,677 --> 00:11:20,013
Oh, holy shit!
Everyone here is Frances's age.
234
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:24,184
Oh, my God. Is that guy wearing a T-shirt
and no pants? Is that cool now?
235
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:26,353
Don't ask me. I know as nothing as you.
236
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:27,980
[sighs] Well, I'll tell you this.
237
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,815
We may not be young,
238
00:11:29,815 --> 00:11:33,777
but we have life experience
that none of these bitches have.
239
00:11:33,777 --> 00:11:37,281
Oh, yeah.
Like-- Like how to swaddle a newborn.
240
00:11:37,281 --> 00:11:38,407
- Okay. Yeah.
- Right?
241
00:11:38,407 --> 00:11:41,535
I'll tell you this much.
We got better credit than anybody in here.
242
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,078
- Oh, better credit!
- Credit!
243
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:49,960
- Better credit, better credit ♪
- Better credit, better credit ♪
244
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,295
- Better credit... ♪
- Ooh... ♪
245
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:53,046
Sorry for existing.
246
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,966
I just-- This feels like it's gonna be
awkward. I don't know.
247
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,259
- [sighs]
- We could just go.
248
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:58,594
Why don't we go and go somewhere else
249
00:11:58,594 --> 00:12:00,053
- and get a glass of wine--
- Okay, yeah. Sure.
250
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,264
- Hey!
- Hi-- Hi!
251
00:12:02,264 --> 00:12:04,433
Oh, my God. He saw me. Hi! Hi!
252
00:12:04,433 --> 00:12:06,351
I don't wanna be here.
I don't wanna be here.
253
00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,562
- Hi. Hey!
- Hey! You made it.
254
00:12:08,562 --> 00:12:10,564
- Yeah. Congrats.
- Good to see you.
255
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:13,108
- Thank you so much. Yeah. Hey.
- Yeah, of course. This is Katie.
256
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,152
- Hi. Hi.
- Katie, Will. Andy.
257
00:12:15,152 --> 00:12:16,236
- Hi.
- Katie.
258
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:18,614
- Sylvia.
- Hey, man. Congratulations, you guys.
259
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,283
- This is such an achievement.
- So cool. It's so hip.
260
00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,202
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yes. [chuckles]
261
00:12:23,202 --> 00:12:25,078
Will couldn't have done it
without your support, Sylvia.
262
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,247
- Okay. Great.
- I'm gonna-- I'm gonna get us some drinks.
263
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,917
Oh, okay. Listen, I'm not gonna say no,
'cause, you know, it's your thing.
264
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:31,084
- Okay.
- I can get you to the front.
265
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,586
- Oh, thanks. Thanks.
- Yeah. Yeah.
266
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:33,921
This is amazing.
267
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:36,715
- You've really made this work.
- We did it. Yeah, it's cool.
268
00:12:36,715 --> 00:12:39,092
- I have an idea for your next venture.
- Oh, yeah? What is it?
269
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,470
Yes. A wine pub.
270
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:44,765
A wine pub? Oh, yeah.
Like a place that serves wine and food?
271
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,350
- Yes.
- That's called a restaurant.
272
00:12:46,350 --> 00:12:49,061
- Yeah, not enough of those around, right?
- [chuckling] I'm just saying.
273
00:12:49,061 --> 00:12:52,940
I could be sitting a-- on a chair having
a glass of wine in this very spot.
274
00:12:52,940 --> 00:12:54,191
- [Will] That's very true.
- So--
275
00:12:54,191 --> 00:12:57,528
[clears throat]
Sorry to interrupt your story.
276
00:12:57,528 --> 00:13:00,113
Uh, the lady from LA Times is by the tanks
if you want to talk to her.
277
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:01,198
Oh, yeah, sure.
278
00:13:01,198 --> 00:13:02,866
- Uh, I'll be right back.
- Yeah, cool.
279
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:05,994
This is so good!
I know you worked so hard on this and--
280
00:13:05,994 --> 00:13:09,873
I don't know what you think you know,
but the divorce is still fresh, okay?
281
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,083
So be careful with my guy.
282
00:13:11,083 --> 00:13:13,460
You talked just as much shit
about her as I did,
283
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:16,129
but I got blamed and cut out.
That's not fair. That's sexist.
284
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,840
Don't Susan B. Anthony me, okay?
285
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:20,801
Just 'cause you got your Hillary Clinton
white pantsuit on.
286
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:23,303
- Wow.
- Listen, I don't make the rules.
287
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:24,471
I just respect 'em.
288
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,889
I-I don't know what you're talking about.
289
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,975
- That doesn't make any sense--
- You know what I'm talking about.
290
00:13:27,975 --> 00:13:28,892
- So yeah.
- Well, I don't.
291
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:31,895
- Oh. Sorry. Little do-si-do. [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Okay. Oh.
292
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:34,982
Sorry. That was weird. [chuckles]
Congrats.
293
00:13:34,982 --> 00:13:36,358
- Thank you.
- Uh, there you go.
294
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:39,069
- [Sylvia] Hey!
- So, I met a guy at the bar.
295
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:40,779
- What? Tell me everything.
- Yeah!
296
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,573
Well, I couldn't hear anything
that he said.
297
00:13:42,573 --> 00:13:46,493
- Not a word, 'cause it's so loud in here.
- [Sylvia] Oh. Right. It's very loud.
298
00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,453
And I couldn't see him very well.
299
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:49,538
I don't have my glasses on.
300
00:13:49,538 --> 00:13:52,207
- But it's fun to be out! Yeah.
- Aw, that's cute.
301
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:55,002
Okay, well, I think we should--
We can get outta here.
302
00:13:55,002 --> 00:13:56,378
- Don't tear me away.
- [Sylvia] Okay.
303
00:13:56,378 --> 00:13:59,298
Yeah, I'm so fucking tired. [groans]
304
00:14:00,966 --> 00:14:03,218
[groans] Well, that was a bummer.
305
00:14:03,218 --> 00:14:05,762
- Yeah, I don't know. What did you expect?
- I don't know.
306
00:14:05,762 --> 00:14:07,264
It's just so weird
to be close with someone,
307
00:14:07,264 --> 00:14:09,808
and then all of a sudden
you're complete strangers.
308
00:14:09,808 --> 00:14:13,145
Your friendship with Will is not built
for this phase of life.
309
00:14:13,145 --> 00:14:16,190
I have a lot of male friends.
I mean, I did.
310
00:14:16,190 --> 00:14:17,733
- I used to.
- Yeah, so did I.
311
00:14:17,733 --> 00:14:20,152
- My best friend in college...
- Mmm.
312
00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:21,111
...his name was Oren.
313
00:14:21,111 --> 00:14:22,571
- What happened? You still in touch?
- Yeah.
314
00:14:22,571 --> 00:14:24,031
I talk to him on the phone every night.
315
00:14:24,031 --> 00:14:25,032
- Well, there you go.
- What?
316
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,159
Of course not! What do you think happened?
317
00:14:27,159 --> 00:14:30,162
- What? [chuckling]
- No! No, I don't talk to him every night.
318
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,246
What's wrong with you?
319
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:34,374
We got very drunk, had sex,
and then we never spoke again.
320
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:35,375
Oh.
321
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:38,462
This thing with you and Will,
it's just more trouble than it's worth.
322
00:14:38,462 --> 00:14:40,130
He's from your past.
323
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:42,382
- He's like acid-washed jeans.
- Well, they're back in fashion.
324
00:14:42,382 --> 00:14:44,968
- No. Stop.
- They are. Frances told me. They're back.
325
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:46,637
Goddamn it.
326
00:14:46,637 --> 00:14:49,806
What the f-- I just, just gave them away.
327
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,892
- [investor] Chill.
- [Will] Shut up. Hey, how dare you?
328
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,894
What the fuck is your fucking problem?
329
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,772
Oh, no. Oh, my God. That's Audrey.
That's his ex-wife.
330
00:14:56,772 --> 00:15:01,068
Bringing a date to my bar?
W-- In what world is that okay?
331
00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,861
- That's the ex-wife?
- Yeah.
332
00:15:02,861 --> 00:15:04,279
- [shouting]
- [Katie] Geez, she's hot.
333
00:15:04,279 --> 00:15:06,156
- Oh, my God.
- She's a-- [stammers] She's gorgeous.
334
00:15:06,156 --> 00:15:07,449
She's just gorgeous.
335
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,701
You have everything.
You have the whole world.
336
00:15:09,701 --> 00:15:12,079
I have one place! This place!
337
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,873
And you bring a fucking Nazi to my bar?
338
00:15:14,873 --> 00:15:17,251
- Get this fucking guy out of here.
- But I am from Norway
339
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:21,672
where a social democratic alliance
has controlled parliament for many--
340
00:15:21,672 --> 00:15:23,590
Don't pretend your family likes Jews.
341
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,133
How fucking dare you?
342
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,178
I know you guys are used to invading
other people's territories,
343
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,555
but this is my bar!
344
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:31,515
This is my place!
I get this in the divorce.
345
00:15:31,515 --> 00:15:33,600
This is not yours. It's my brother's bar.
346
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,018
He's your fucking stepbrother.
347
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:37,396
Why do you fixate on that detail?
It's so weird.
348
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:39,690
Because I think it's weird
how close you are, if I'm being honest.
349
00:15:39,690 --> 00:15:40,649
I think it's weird!
350
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,068
Your stepbrother, by the way?
Not the only owner of this bar.
351
00:15:43,068 --> 00:15:46,280
I own 24.5% of this fucking place!
352
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,364
And meanwhile,
353
00:15:47,364 --> 00:15:50,242
you're bringing Leni Riefenstahl's
fucking key grip in here.
354
00:15:50,242 --> 00:15:53,745
Oh, no, Will. Oh, dear. He's unhinged.
This is awful.
355
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:54,997
This is so fun.
356
00:15:54,997 --> 00:15:58,542
- Oh, I love her shoes. Oh.
- My God. That top.
357
00:15:58,542 --> 00:16:02,629
Okay, it was a mistake to bring him,
but you need to cool down.
358
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,548
- Oh, you think? Oh, I won't cool down.
- Take it down a notch.
359
00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:08,177
In this place, I can be as uncool
as I want. I'll bring it up 20 notches!
360
00:16:08,177 --> 00:16:09,553
That's how-- That's what I'm gonna do.
361
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:11,597
- Yeah. Go back to the bunker.
- [investor] Hey.
362
00:16:11,597 --> 00:16:12,890
[Will] Auf Wiedersehen.
363
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,516
That was completely unprofessional, man.
364
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,476
No fucking shit it was!
Do you think I'm happy?
365
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,312
- Completely.
- I know!
366
00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:22,232
Oh, this is... I g-- I can't--
[stammers] I have to stay.
367
00:16:22,232 --> 00:16:23,692
No, don't.
368
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,861
No, no, no, it's not a big deal.
He's just-- He looks so sad.
369
00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:26,945
No, I actually don't care.
370
00:16:26,945 --> 00:16:28,655
So I will see you
at morning assembly tomorrow,
371
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:29,865
- at 8:15.
- Okay. Okay.
372
00:16:29,865 --> 00:16:33,702
- [groans] Jesus Christ. It's 10:15.
- Okay.
373
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,412
Yeah, I-- That's why I'm going home.
374
00:16:35,913 --> 00:16:36,955
[Katie] Okay.
375
00:16:38,999 --> 00:16:40,501
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey.
376
00:16:40,501 --> 00:16:41,585
You okay?
377
00:16:42,211 --> 00:16:47,216
[sighs] No. I need to get outta here.
Do you wanna get a drink somewhere else?
378
00:16:47,216 --> 00:16:48,884
- Yeah, sure.
- Okay.
379
00:16:50,636 --> 00:16:52,930
I thought you guys ended
on friendly terms.
380
00:16:52,930 --> 00:16:54,765
That-- That didn't seem very friendly.
381
00:16:54,765 --> 00:16:58,185
Can you tell me what happened?
Like, why it ended and...
382
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:02,272
She just started to, you know,
383
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:06,484
think I was not ambitious enough
and not a serious person.
384
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:07,819
And she thought I drank too much.
385
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,531
- Which is, like, literally your job.
- Literally my job.
386
00:17:10,531 --> 00:17:13,742
I'm working right now. I'm killing it.
Putting in overtime, you know?
387
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:14,826
- [chuckles]
- But-- [chuckles]
388
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:18,829
And then she kinda moved up, uh,
in the world as an art dealer
389
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,458
and she just started to look at me
like I was a fucking loser.
390
00:17:21,458 --> 00:17:25,337
And so I did the mature,
uh, responsible thing...
391
00:17:25,337 --> 00:17:28,757
- Mmm.
- ...and I hooked up with a rando one night.
392
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:29,925
Mmm.
393
00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:34,888
- So you really are the hero of this story.
- I think I look pretty good, right?
394
00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:36,640
- Huh?
- [chuckles] Coming out on top.
395
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,601
- Yeah, you crushed it.
- Yeah, yeah. Um...
396
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:43,522
Well, there's a lot of pretty lasses here, huh?
397
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,732
Maybe you just need
to be with someone else.
398
00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,901
I don't think-- [chuckles]
That is not what I need. [chuckles]
399
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:52,239
I don't mean like a life partner,
but just someone for a bit of fun.
400
00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:54,491
You know, I could do my whole thing again.
401
00:17:54,491 --> 00:17:58,161
I could dust off my wings
and be your wing-lass.
402
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,372
It's okay. Are you drunk?
How many drinks have you had?
403
00:18:00,372 --> 00:18:02,916
Uh, I've had two beers, so yes, I am.
404
00:18:02,916 --> 00:18:06,211
This is not a "meet people" bar.
This is a trauma bar, okay?
405
00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,421
Where you going?
406
00:18:07,421 --> 00:18:09,214
[speaks indistinctly]
407
00:18:09,214 --> 00:18:10,883
[snickers]
408
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,886
- Hi. Hi, ladies.
- [chuckles]
409
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:17,556
He has a lot of tattoos.
I see you have some tattoos, huh?
410
00:18:17,556 --> 00:18:19,600
- Oh, yeah. I do. Mm-hmm.
- What does this one mean?
411
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:22,227
It's a tribute to my boyfriend
who was murdered a year ago.
412
00:18:22,227 --> 00:18:24,980
Do you mind me asking what happened?
I've never met anyone who was--
413
00:18:24,980 --> 00:18:26,356
Well, he was stabbed.
414
00:18:26,356 --> 00:18:28,817
Uh, okay, thank you. Nice meeting you.
415
00:18:28,817 --> 00:18:30,819
- It was lovely to meet you.
- [Will] Bring it in.
416
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:32,362
Cheers. Bye.
417
00:18:32,362 --> 00:18:34,281
- Sorry.
- Jesus.
418
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,700
Oh, she seemed really sweet
but I... [stammers, exhales sharply]
419
00:18:36,700 --> 00:18:37,910
...think she had a lot of baggage.
420
00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:40,579
You think?
At least if I'm with her, I know if I die,
421
00:18:40,579 --> 00:18:42,289
I'll be honored in the form
of a tramp stamp.
422
00:18:42,289 --> 00:18:44,374
- [sighs]
- I can't be dating right now.
423
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,877
It is humiliating. I'm 40 years old, okay?
424
00:18:46,877 --> 00:18:50,339
I-I-I-- The thought of it is--
gives me a panic attack, you know?
425
00:18:50,339 --> 00:18:53,467
Look. Look at this guy.
Look at this cutie.
426
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:57,346
Remember him? Huh?
He was the king of pussy town!
427
00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,847
We don't really say that anymore.
428
00:18:58,847 --> 00:19:02,893
Oh, I'm sorry, he was
the emperor of pussy town.
429
00:19:02,893 --> 00:19:06,563
The president of the pussy.
P-town-- P-town daddy.
430
00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:07,689
- All jokes aside...
- Come on.
431
00:19:07,689 --> 00:19:09,858
...look how young and virile I am.
432
00:19:09,858 --> 00:19:16,114
And my look almost seems as though it
is single-handedly being pulled together
433
00:19:16,114 --> 00:19:19,243
through this amazing golden chai necklace.
434
00:19:19,243 --> 00:19:21,787
- Oh, God. Here we go.
- My beautiful chai.
435
00:19:21,787 --> 00:19:23,580
This was the best thing
that ever happened to me.
436
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,708
And now-- Honestly, now that I think
about it, my entire life went downhill
437
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:30,379
the moment my chai necklace
was thrown away.
438
00:19:30,379 --> 00:19:33,715
I am not gonna apologize
for getting rid of that thing.
439
00:19:33,715 --> 00:19:35,592
- Men can't wear gold necklaces.
- [gasps]
440
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:36,677
That was so ugly.
441
00:19:36,677 --> 00:19:39,513
- Tell that to Mel Gibson.
- Exactly.
442
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:42,516
Literally you have to tell him,
'cause he will not talk to Jewish people.
443
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:45,018
- All right. That's it. Let's go.
- Where we going?
444
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,062
I'm gonna get you a new chai necklace.
445
00:19:47,062 --> 00:19:49,022
- A chai necklace?
- [Sylvia] A chai necklace.
446
00:19:49,022 --> 00:19:52,568
I don't know if there's any, uh, 24-hour
Judaica stores in the neighborhood,
447
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,486
- but we'll find one.
- [Sylvia] Come on, Mel. Let's go.
448
00:19:54,486 --> 00:19:56,113
Thank you. Good to see you.
449
00:19:58,782 --> 00:19:59,825
[Will] Here we are.
450
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:07,541
- Hello. Hi, hi, hi.
- Hello. We request access.
451
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:08,709
- [Sylvia] Yeah.
- Come in.
452
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,336
- [Will] Hello.
- [store owner] Hello.
453
00:20:11,336 --> 00:20:12,504
[Sylvia] Mmm.
454
00:20:13,255 --> 00:20:15,924
- You looking for a guitar?
- No.
455
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:18,510
Uh, 'cause this one
belonged to Mick Jagger.
456
00:20:19,761 --> 00:20:21,388
What? How much is it?
457
00:20:21,388 --> 00:20:22,514
A thousand.
458
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:25,934
That seems like a bargain
for Mick Jagger's guitar.
459
00:20:25,934 --> 00:20:28,312
We could buy it and sell it for a profit.
460
00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:30,689
- It's not Mick Jagger's guitar.
- I'm just saying.
461
00:20:30,689 --> 00:20:34,067
- That might be Rick Jagger's guitar.
- Well, I have an interested buyer.
462
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:35,819
- We're good.
- Ooh.
463
00:20:36,445 --> 00:20:38,405
- What the fuck? [chuckles]
- [snickers]
464
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,075
Look at that. I want that.
465
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:43,243
- [growling]
- [Sylvia] The dog?
466
00:20:43,243 --> 00:20:46,246
No, not that. The-- The "W" hanging off
the-- the collar. "W."
467
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:48,874
Will. I'm Will.
That-- That-- That stands for Will.
468
00:20:48,874 --> 00:20:51,460
That's sterling silver. Fifty bucks.
469
00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:53,086
- Wow.
- [store owner] Fifty dollars.
470
00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:56,798
- Oh, sterling silver. Really?
- That deal. Sterling silver, $50.
471
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:57,883
Okay.
472
00:20:57,883 --> 00:20:59,134
Come on. Look at that!
473
00:20:59,134 --> 00:21:01,512
- Okay. Sold.
- You got a deal, sir.
474
00:21:01,512 --> 00:21:02,763
Thank you.
475
00:21:02,763 --> 00:21:03,931
Go on and get it now.
476
00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:06,975
- Pardon me?
- I'm not taking anything from Wrestler.
477
00:21:07,851 --> 00:21:12,105
Okay, all right. Thank you, sir.
I would like a refund.
478
00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:17,361
Oh, come on, man. You just... [stammers]
... took my money, like, just then.
479
00:21:17,903 --> 00:21:19,112
[whispers] Yo.
480
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:22,282
- We got this.
- I can't steal the-- I can't--
481
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:24,826
I've-- I'm a married woman.
I have three children.
482
00:21:24,826 --> 00:21:27,204
I can't... [stammers] ...get attacked
by a Doberman.
483
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:30,165
- Why did you come out tonight?
- I wanted to see you, catch up.
484
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:34,294
No. No, no, no, no, no. That is not why
you came out. You came out to have fun.
485
00:21:34,294 --> 00:21:36,672
- I did.
- So why don't we have fun?
486
00:21:36,672 --> 00:21:37,589
- Let's do it. Come on.
- Okay.
487
00:21:37,589 --> 00:21:39,466
Your kids will think it's cool
if their mother's missing an ear.
488
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,426
Plea-- No, no, no, no. Come on.
489
00:21:41,426 --> 00:21:43,720
Just--
You calm the beast as I approach him.
490
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,514
- How? How-- What shall I--
- Just-- I don't know.
491
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:51,144
♪ Ring around the rosy
Pocket full of posies... ♪
492
00:21:51,144 --> 00:21:52,813
I feel like I'm in
a fucking horror movie now.
493
00:21:52,813 --> 00:21:54,231
- ...A tissue, a t-- ♪
- That's not helping.
494
00:21:54,231 --> 00:21:55,315
Just do something else.
495
00:21:55,315 --> 00:22:00,821
Hi, sweet girl. Hi. I paid for this.
496
00:22:01,321 --> 00:22:03,657
Stay. Thank you.
497
00:22:03,657 --> 00:22:04,992
Oh.
498
00:22:04,992 --> 00:22:08,912
Okay. Okay. Okay.
499
00:22:08,912 --> 00:22:09,997
- [phone rings]
- [barking]
500
00:22:09,997 --> 00:22:12,457
- [Sylvia screaming, whimpers]
- [Will] Go, go, go, go! [shouts]
501
00:22:14,042 --> 00:22:15,669
- Okay. [shouts]
- [speaks indistinctly]
502
00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:18,505
- Go!
- Right, go, go, go, go, go.
503
00:22:18,505 --> 00:22:20,382
- [shouting]
- [grunting]
504
00:22:20,382 --> 00:22:23,635
- Yes! Yes! Worth it!
- Oh, my God. Yes! We got it! Yes!
505
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:24,845
- Oh, God.
- Yes! [pants]
506
00:22:24,845 --> 00:22:28,390
- You want a weed gummy?
- Yes! Oh, yes, I do.
507
00:22:28,390 --> 00:22:29,725
- Let's go.
- Thank you.
508
00:22:29,725 --> 00:22:30,851
[pants]
509
00:22:38,442 --> 00:22:42,196
- Pretty okay fries, am I right?
- Mm-hmm. It's good.
510
00:22:42,196 --> 00:22:44,740
- [snickers]
- So good. Mmm.
511
00:22:44,740 --> 00:22:48,243
[laughs] I forgot you get like this
when you're high. [chuckles]
512
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:49,411
I'm not that high.
513
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,163
- Not that high. [chuckles]
- [Sylvia] Mmm.
514
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:55,626
So what's it like to be
in a healthy marriage? Is that cool?
515
00:22:56,210 --> 00:22:57,377
- It's good.
- It's good?
516
00:22:57,377 --> 00:22:59,213
- Mm-hmm.
- Charlie was always pretty perfect.
517
00:22:59,213 --> 00:23:02,257
Mmm. He's great.
And he just-- he just gets happier.
518
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:04,384
- He's-- Just gets happier.
- Mm-hmm.
519
00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:05,719
- That's a nightmare.
- It's like,
520
00:23:05,719 --> 00:23:08,138
- this is really his moment, you know?
- This is his moment.
521
00:23:08,722 --> 00:23:11,225
- Loves being a grown-up.
- He loves being a grown-up.
522
00:23:11,225 --> 00:23:13,644
So good at being a dad.
523
00:23:13,644 --> 00:23:15,812
- He's good at being a dad.
- [speaks indistinctly]
524
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,606
I didn't understand that at all.
525
00:23:17,606 --> 00:23:20,275
Mmm. He just makes it look easy and--
526
00:23:21,276 --> 00:23:23,487
You know, I kinda look like a--
like a mess next to him.
527
00:23:23,487 --> 00:23:26,406
You? It makes you look like a mess?
528
00:23:26,406 --> 00:23:28,283
- [laughs]
- You?
529
00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:30,244
Impossible.
530
00:23:30,244 --> 00:23:33,580
No one in a napkin bib can be a mess,
by definition.
531
00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:35,123
You've taken preventive measures.
532
00:23:35,123 --> 00:23:37,584
[both chuckle]
533
00:23:37,584 --> 00:23:42,506
How are your, uh... [slurps] ...relations?
534
00:23:42,506 --> 00:23:43,590
Hmm.
535
00:23:43,590 --> 00:23:45,384
There is one thing
about the sex that's like--
536
00:23:45,384 --> 00:23:47,010
- Okay. There you go.
- Mm-hmm.
537
00:23:47,010 --> 00:23:49,555
What is it? Good sex? Bad sex?
Not enough sex?
538
00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:52,182
No. Just a little bit time-consuming.
539
00:23:52,182 --> 00:23:54,601
- Time-consuming sex.
- Mmm. Mm-hmm.
540
00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:56,562
- What are we talking about, time wise?
- Half an hour.
541
00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:58,146
- Half an hour?
- Yeah, half an hour.
542
00:23:58,146 --> 00:24:01,191
That's like Modern Family
with commercials.
543
00:24:01,191 --> 00:24:03,569
If I lasted half an hour,
I would throw a parade. [chuckles]
544
00:24:03,569 --> 00:24:08,866
It's too long. It really is too long.
Here's-- Exactly. Wrap it up.
545
00:24:08,866 --> 00:24:10,325
- What are we doing here?
- Wrap it up.
546
00:24:10,325 --> 00:24:11,910
I, uh-- Here's a little secret.
547
00:24:11,910 --> 00:24:13,954
- I was with a lady once, and, uh...
- Mmm.
548
00:24:13,954 --> 00:24:15,956
- ...we were having sex. I was very drunk...
- Mmm.
549
00:24:15,956 --> 00:24:17,875
...so I was not, uh-- I couldn't finish.
[hiccups]
550
00:24:18,834 --> 00:24:23,046
She did this thing where she, like,
punched me in the back,
551
00:24:23,046 --> 00:24:25,465
kind of in the lower back,
lower kidneys kind of. [chuckles]
552
00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:28,969
And I don't know what it did. It, like,
flipped some jizz switch in my body,
553
00:24:28,969 --> 00:24:31,346
and I came instantaneously.
554
00:24:31,346 --> 00:24:33,098
- What?
- Yes.
555
00:24:33,098 --> 00:24:36,310
- Is it-- Show me. Where is the button?
- The cum button?
556
00:24:39,146 --> 00:24:41,398
This area right here. I think.
557
00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:42,983
- Right in this area.
- All right.
558
00:24:44,276 --> 00:24:46,236
Well, I don't-- I don't want
anything to happen. [grunts]
559
00:24:46,236 --> 00:24:48,614
- Oh, don't worry. That's disgusting.
- I don't care.
560
00:24:48,614 --> 00:24:50,324
- This is a medical lesson.
- I don't want--
561
00:24:50,324 --> 00:24:52,576
- Don't flatter yourself. Come on.
- [sighs]
562
00:24:52,576 --> 00:24:53,660
Now punch my cum button.
563
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,245
All right, I'm doing it. Okay.
564
00:24:55,996 --> 00:24:57,289
- [grunts]
- There you go.
565
00:24:57,289 --> 00:24:59,833
Except you hit my fart switch
instead of my cum button.
566
00:24:59,833 --> 00:25:01,293
- Ooh, the fart switch?
- Oh, yeah.
567
00:25:01,293 --> 00:25:04,213
They're right next door,
so you gotta be careful. [chuckles]
568
00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:07,633
[Will] Um, all right.
What do you wanna do now?
569
00:25:07,633 --> 00:25:09,301
Let's get, uh--
Let's go to Korean barbecue.
570
00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:11,637
No. Oh, no, no, no. I'm going home.
571
00:25:11,637 --> 00:25:14,973
What? Come on. I thought
you were in this with me.
572
00:25:14,973 --> 00:25:18,852
- I am. I'm totally in this with you. I am.
- I'm so depressed. I need you. Don't go.
573
00:25:18,852 --> 00:25:22,814
But I just have so many things tomorrow
and they all start so early.
574
00:25:22,814 --> 00:25:24,316
[blows] Fair-weather friend. Mmm.
575
00:25:24,316 --> 00:25:25,526
- Fair-weather friend?
- Yeah.
576
00:25:25,526 --> 00:25:27,236
The minute I heard, I called you.
577
00:25:27,236 --> 00:25:28,820
Ha. Wait, what?
578
00:25:28,820 --> 00:25:31,323
I said the minute I heard about you
and Audrey, I got in touch.
579
00:25:31,323 --> 00:25:33,909
- I ain't no fair-weather friend.
- Wait, that's why you got in touch?
580
00:25:34,618 --> 00:25:37,996
Yeah, well, and I mean, I got in touch
to apologize to you, which I did.
581
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:41,708
It was a pity call? You knew?
You knew we were divorced?
582
00:25:41,708 --> 00:25:44,545
[stammering] What's wrong with that,
if it was?
583
00:25:44,545 --> 00:25:46,797
I-- You're my friend, I-I heard the news,
584
00:25:46,797 --> 00:25:49,049
I got in touch,
and I was worried about you.
585
00:25:49,049 --> 00:25:50,133
Okay.
586
00:25:51,176 --> 00:25:53,637
Let's get into it, huh? Shall we?
587
00:25:53,637 --> 00:25:55,931
We were friends
and then you threw that friendship away
588
00:25:55,931 --> 00:25:57,808
because you didn't like
the woman that I was gonna marry.
589
00:25:57,808 --> 00:25:59,726
And then you heard
we were getting divorced,
590
00:25:59,726 --> 00:26:02,062
and you come back around
to do a fucking victory lap.
591
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:04,189
- My position remains unchanged.
- [sputters]
592
00:26:04,189 --> 00:26:06,733
She was terrible for you.
And look what happened.
593
00:26:06,733 --> 00:26:08,443
I just-- I was in love,
594
00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:10,737
and I just wanted you to support me.
That's all I wanted.
595
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:12,739
I was just being honest
because I love you.
596
00:26:12,739 --> 00:26:14,783
And you didn't wanna hear it,
so you ditched me.
597
00:26:14,783 --> 00:26:17,411
I didn't-- I ditched you 'cause it's hard
to be friends with someone
598
00:26:17,411 --> 00:26:19,037
who you know hates your wife.
599
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:21,456
Isn't honesty what you want
from your closest friends?
600
00:26:21,456 --> 00:26:24,251
- No! Not when it's bad.
- Andy didn't love Audrey,
601
00:26:24,251 --> 00:26:26,628
but you didn't hold that against him,
did you? What's that about?
602
00:26:26,628 --> 00:26:29,173
It's different with men
than it is with women.
603
00:26:29,173 --> 00:26:31,425
- Men, they're-- they're-- He's a l--
- Oh, fuck off.
604
00:26:31,425 --> 00:26:33,343
- They're more mellow about this shit.
- That's bullshit. That's s--
605
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:36,805
Oh, that's ridiculous. And it's fucking
bullshit, and it's insulting.
606
00:26:36,805 --> 00:26:38,515
Sometimes the truth is insulting.
Men are more mellow.
607
00:26:38,515 --> 00:26:39,975
- That doesn't make sense.
- Don't know what to say.
608
00:26:39,975 --> 00:26:42,519
Yeah, men are really mellow.
You know who starts wars? Men.
609
00:26:42,519 --> 00:26:45,939
You think George W. Bush was really
fucking mellow when he invaded Iraq?
610
00:26:45,939 --> 00:26:47,691
Ever heard of Mary Queen of Scots?
611
00:26:47,691 --> 00:26:50,444
Please tell me one thing about
Mary Queen of Scots.
612
00:26:50,444 --> 00:26:51,945
Bloody Mary. That's what they call her.
613
00:26:51,945 --> 00:26:53,655
And you don't get that name
by being mellow.
614
00:26:53,655 --> 00:26:55,532
Margaret Thatcher,
she was a fucking asshole.
615
00:26:55,532 --> 00:26:59,036
That Cara Delevingne,
she seems like a fucking mess.
616
00:26:59,036 --> 00:27:00,787
- Okay?
- [chuckles] Okay, see you later.
617
00:27:01,371 --> 00:27:03,207
- See you later. Have a good one.
- Yeah. Yeah.
618
00:27:03,207 --> 00:27:04,958
- Keep it real.
- Okay.
619
00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:07,044
And by the way, that shit,
that's from 20 years ago.
620
00:27:07,920 --> 00:27:08,921
So is this.
621
00:27:09,922 --> 00:27:11,006
Ooh, that's a good one.
622
00:27:16,011 --> 00:27:18,347
- Bye. Fuck you.
- Yeah, fuck you.
623
00:27:18,347 --> 00:27:20,724
Oh, hello, sir. Thank you so much.
624
00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:27,523
What do I even do now?
625
00:27:54,925 --> 00:27:57,845
- Hi.
- Hi, baby.
626
00:27:57,845 --> 00:27:58,929
How was it? [grunts]
627
00:27:58,929 --> 00:28:02,933
Oh, it was just the same old shit
with a bunch of drama.
628
00:28:02,933 --> 00:28:06,478
- Mmm. You smell like french fries.
- Mmm.
629
00:28:06,478 --> 00:28:08,689
[groans] Yeah, we went to Denny's.
630
00:28:08,689 --> 00:28:09,815
- Oh.
- Mmm.
631
00:28:10,691 --> 00:28:11,817
I missed you.
632
00:28:11,817 --> 00:28:13,443
Mmm. Missed you too.
633
00:28:13,443 --> 00:28:15,988
[Charlie moaning]
634
00:28:25,789 --> 00:28:26,957
[Charlie] Hi.
635
00:28:26,957 --> 00:28:29,334
- Hi.
- Hi. [moans]
636
00:28:29,334 --> 00:28:33,589
- Oh. Oh, yeah.
- [breathing heavily, moaning]
637
00:28:33,589 --> 00:28:36,717
Ah. Let's take our time tonight.
638
00:28:37,718 --> 00:28:40,512
Mmm. [breathes deeply]
639
00:28:42,014 --> 00:28:44,183
Ow. What was that?
640
00:28:44,183 --> 00:28:47,811
Aw, sorry. Sorry,
it was just an arm spasm. I'm sorry.
641
00:28:47,811 --> 00:28:50,022
J-Jesus, you really got me there, champ.
642
00:28:50,564 --> 00:28:51,565
- Sorry, I just--
- Oh. [grunts]
643
00:28:52,858 --> 00:28:54,151
You good?
644
00:28:54,151 --> 00:28:57,237
No, I-- I think the moment kinda passed.
645
00:28:57,237 --> 00:28:59,198
- Yeah. Yeah, I get it.
- Okay. [grunts]
646
00:28:59,198 --> 00:29:00,741
Okay. [inhales sharply]
647
00:29:00,741 --> 00:29:02,784
- Sorry. Okay. [grunts]
- It's okay. [groans]
648
00:29:02,784 --> 00:29:04,620
- I got one in the post.
- It's okay.
649
00:29:04,620 --> 00:29:06,121
- Night.
- [grunting]
650
00:29:06,121 --> 00:29:08,415
- Oh. [breathes deeply]
- [breathes deeply]
651
00:29:18,258 --> 00:29:20,385
[sighing]
652
00:29:20,385 --> 00:29:21,512
[cell phone buzzes]
653
00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:27,434
[Sylvia] Back punch did not work, asshole.
654
00:29:27,434 --> 00:29:29,561
- [Will] You actually tried that?
- [Sylvia] Of course I did.
655
00:29:29,561 --> 00:29:31,063
[Will] I made that up.
656
00:29:31,063 --> 00:29:32,397
- [Sylvia] You're a liar.
- [Will] I am.
657
00:29:32,397 --> 00:29:35,192
[Sylvia] You're gonna pay for this.
You're gonna pay for this so hard.
658
00:29:35,192 --> 00:29:36,610
[Will] Well, bring it on.
659
00:29:37,319 --> 00:29:38,737
[Sylvia] So, what are you doing now?
660
00:29:38,737 --> 00:29:40,864
[Will] I'm bidding on
Garbage Pail Kids on eBay.
661
00:29:41,698 --> 00:29:42,950
[Sylvia] Did you get anything good?
662
00:29:42,950 --> 00:29:44,868
[Will] I got an Adam Head
in mint condition.
663
00:29:44,868 --> 00:29:46,078
[Sylvia] I'm kidding. I don't care.
664
00:29:46,078 --> 00:29:47,579
[Will chuckles]
665
00:29:47,579 --> 00:29:50,791
[Will] What are you doing? Online shopping
for a fifth pair of high-waisted jeans?
666
00:29:50,791 --> 00:29:52,793
[Sylvia] Fuck off. And yes.
How did you know?
667
00:29:52,793 --> 00:29:54,002
[Will] Should we hang out again?
668
00:29:54,002 --> 00:29:56,255
[Sylvia] Sure, how about, like,
five years from now?
669
00:29:56,255 --> 00:29:59,424
[Will] Cool. But Tuesdays are bad
'cause your mom comes over.
670
00:29:59,424 --> 00:30:01,426
[Sylvia chuckles]
671
00:30:01,426 --> 00:30:04,388
[Sylvia] Thank you for capitalizing
her name. Very respectful.
672
00:30:04,388 --> 00:30:07,307
[Will] She's a working dominatrix,
so she demands respect.
673
00:30:07,307 --> 00:30:09,852
[Sylvia] Nice try. My mom only goes
to duck ponds and church.
674
00:30:09,852 --> 00:30:11,270
[Will] That actually sounds nice.
675
00:30:11,270 --> 00:30:12,354
[Sylvia] It is nice.
676
00:30:12,896 --> 00:30:14,231
[Will chuckles]
677
00:30:14,815 --> 00:30:15,858
[Sylvia chuckles]