The programme contains strong language and some scenes which some viewers may find upsetting.
MUSIC: You Should Always Keep In Touch With Your Friends by The Wedding Present
This is it.
Manchester.
England is getting rocked.
How soon, though?
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I won't change my mind.
You've read my letter, you've seen my medical records. I've...
Uh-huh.
Yeah, I've told you everything you need to know.
I just, er...
Da.
I just want to get on with it now. It's not...
It's not fair on my wife.
Yeah, she knows now.
She's all onboard.
BIRDS SQUAWK
It was good of you to come out.
I'm glad to do it.
Honestly.
It's the hardest decision my Colin and I ever took.
And I don't know what we'd have done without everyone in the group.
That sounds like a weird thing to say about a support group
for assisted dying.
No, it doesn't.
I'm very sorry for your loss.
Thank you.
Tell me about your friend.
How long have you been friends?
Forever.
Want a cup of tea?
We think we should try you on another drug, Mr Dawson.
Taxol.
We'll still give you dexamethasone first,
that should help with any allergic reaction.
Get in. I'm a dexie super fan.
Me too. So what is different about this new treatment?
It's a mitotic inhibitor.
Great, I could do with some inhibitions.
And how does it work?
Anna's my lawyer. She asks a lot of questions, this one.
I am also his wife, and I have to ask the questions because he won't.
Basically, it glues the cancer cells up inside
when they're trying to divide, so they don't multiply or grow.
That's the theory, anyway.
And that could give him more time?
That's the plan.
How much more?
It depends on how you respond, Mr Dawson.
Hopefully, if all goes well, a good few months.
Maybe longer.
I think it's worth trying.
Yeah. We'll take what we can get, eh, Tully?
I actually do have a question.
The Taxol, how does it know which cells are the bad cells?
Do they wear a uniform like the riot police?
There may be some collateral cellular damage
to the good cells, yes.
You might get nausea, vomiting, and hair loss.
There can be some damage to nerve endings,
and there is the risk of infection
if your immunity goes down with treatment.
That can be dangerous.
Still, we think the good outweighs the bad,
otherwise we wouldn't recommend it.
My husband, Colin, had motor neurone disease.
It was hard because...
we didn't know how bad he'd get.
Or how fast.
They won't let you go to Switzerland unless you can...
..can still hold a cup.
It...
..can't be done for you.
Marion, if this is too much...
No.
It's fine.
Getting the timing right, that's the tricky bit.
Especially if they start to get worse before it's all settled.
Then they might panic and...
..take matters into their own hands, if you know what I mean?
I used to hope he'd just go to sleep and slip away.
What was it like when you got there?
Was he frightened?
You need to know what's ahead.
He was frightened.
But the end was peaceful.
For Colin, at least.
What about you?
It was the worst day of my life.
They do what they can to help you.
But the fact is, you go with the person you love and...
you come back without them.
That won't be easy for his wife.
Tully's wife's struggling. A lot.
I mean, they've only just got married,
so she's fighting tooth and nail to keep him there as long as she can.
But she must know how he feels.
He hasn't told her yet.
He's made an application without his wife knowing?
You lying shit.
He made me promise.
He's my oldest friend.
That's not good enough, Jimmy.
Anna's his wife, you can't go behind her back, it's insulting.
I'd never forgive you if you did that to me.
It's bad enough you didn't tell me this was still on the cards.
Look, I'm sorry, OK?
I wanted to set the ball rolling first and then see where we were.
Look, I've been pushing him to tell her,
but he's frightened she's going to stop him.
And she'd have every right.
Honest to God, I feel like I'm shouting into a void.
What she feels matters.
It's wrong of you to get involved. I am involved.
I owe him, I don't owe Anna.
And what if she says you forced him into it?
She wouldn't do that. How do you know?
She'll be beside herself with grief, she won't be thinking straight.
She doesn't believe in it, Jimmy.
And she's a lawyer,
so she'll know exactly what to do.
This is such a fucking mess.
I'll sort it.
The arrogance of that statement is breathtaking.
I'll go and see him first thing and tell him he has to talk to her now.
Tell him if he doesn't, I will.
Cos she's my friend.
This isn't some fucking boys game.
MUSIC: Heard About Love by The Big Gun
Call me psychic, but I'm going to guess you're here for the festival.
Any good pubs round here?
This is England. Pubs shut at three.
What? Three?
We need to get ourselves set.
Listen, I'm no' being funny, but can we crash at yours?
We're out-of-towners without a pillow between us.
Like James Dean.
Like James Dean. Like James Dean,
you're a penis.
Modern poetry. You're boyishly handsome, you're intensely American,
but would you survive the trenches, mon frere?
I fear not. Get a large dug up ye.
Sorry to gig in, lads, but could you do one?
Dear sir, please do me the honour of getting a dug up you, too.
Sorry about the ruckus.
Festival of garbage, more like.
When it comes down it,
knock yourselves dead.
Cheers.
Behold, comrades, the scene of the first devastations.
Onwards.
Might want to slow down a bit.
Who are you, his mum?
Just an observation.
Can do what he wants, it's nothing to me.
Good. Because this is the weekend to end all weekends.
Speed. Oh, for...
Shpeed.
Help yourself, boys.
Top three best ever goals scored by a Scottish player.
ALL: Archie Gemmill. Too obvious.
Number one, the other Gemmill, Celtic versus Inter Milan,
1967 European Cup final.
Yes! Gemmill's goal totally demoralised the Milan players
and led to the Celtic victory.
Number two, Kenny Dalglish's goal, Liverpool versus FC Bruges,
1978 cup final. Fuck off. That's never a best Scottish goal.
It's not even one of Dalglish's best.
What about Kenny's goal for Scotland in the World Cup playoff
at Anfield against Wales?
Martin Buchan whips in a beautiful cross, Kenny heads it in,
and Scotland are going to Argentina.
But... Why is there always a but?
Well, that goal inadvertently led to the rise of Thatcherism
and all its horrors.
The aftermath of Scotland's '78 humiliation is widely
accepted to be the main reason that the Scottish devolution bill
failed in the '79 referendum.
This led to the Scottish Nationalists withdrawing support
for a minority Labour government and a subsequent vote of no confidence,
leading to Thatcher's election victory.
Open and shut case.
Goal makes dough.
CHEERING
Jesus, I never want to go home!
One day I want my band to be up there.
I know it'll never happen.
I'm stuck in that factory with my dad.
And his dad, and every other fucker's dad.
Yeeha!
Yee-fucking-ha!
Suppose he's not bad looking.
Especially stupid there, with those eyes.
Problem is they've got no arses.
He's got eyes, the other one's got hair,
but they've got skinny arses.
And they both talk shite.
Go on, go on, go on.
Johnny Marr, ya beauty!
HORN BEEPS Go for it, ya fanny!
He means that affectionately.
It's the Scottish way. We insult people we love.
HORN BEEPS
It's Johnny Marr's.
He cow-arsed it.
I don't mind a bit of saliva.
He wrote How Soon Is Now?
What are you doing here?
What's going on?
Is there a problem with the application?
Not exactly.
Not exactly?
Where's Anna?
She's at work. Why?
Iona knows.
And you have to tell Anna before she does because she's raging.
No, not until I get my date.
And it's none of Iona's fucking business.
Come on, man.
Anna's her friend.
You have to tell her now, Tully.
This... This isn't right. It's not honest.
No, I can't risk it. She'll try to stop it, and I need it to happen.
Look, things are really bad, Jimmy. My whole body's shot to shit.
I've got nerve damage, Noodles.
I can't play properly any more.
How the fuck am I going to play at my gig?
I can't bear it.
I'm dying, and it's going to be ugly.
Switzerland's all I've got.
Look, you gave me your word. And I'm doing it.
But you have to do right by Anna.
Tell her. As soon as I get my date.
Look, she might not want it, but in the end it's my decision.
I don't have to ask her permission.
It's not about permission, Tully.
It's about decency.
Look, if she loves me, she'll come around.
And what if she doesn't?
Look, if you do this without her blessing...
..she can make things difficult.
Legally. When we get back.
Not for me, I'm not coming back.
Just think about how she'll feel. How I'll feel.
I won't be here, so I won't know. Don't be a dick!
I'm doing this for her, too.
I want her to remember me whole.
Do you not understand that?
COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING
TOILET FLUSHES
Just flushed the vast majority of my good guy cells down the toilet.
My mouth's killing me.
That was worse than the last time.
I know, darling.
But remember what she said,
that a strong reaction means that it's doing what it's meant to do.
You've got to give it a chance.
OK.
I think I'll go to the caravan tomorrow.
HE SIGHS
Yee-fucking-ha.
Yee-fucking-ha!
YOUNG TULLY: Yeeha!
Yee-fucking-ha!
Yee-fucking-ha.
Tully!
No! No!
Tully!
ANNA WAILS
What are you doing?
I've come for a swim!
It's OK!
It's all right, don't worry about it, the water's lovely.
It's fine, it's beautiful.
Anna.
ANNA SOBS
It's all right.
It's OK.
ANNA SOBS
I like this one.
SHE GASPS
What do you think?
Erm...
When did you decide to do this, Anna?
Och, we've been here since we got together.
I just thought it was time for a change.
You know, Tully needs something new to think about and...
I need to keep him busy.
Has he said anything to you?
About what?
I don't know.
What he's thinking?
Well, I know what he's thinking.
He's depressed.
Who wouldn't be?
So that's why I'm going to find him a lovely house
with a beautiful garden and a view of the sea.
He can just play his music
and look at the sea and...and I'll be with him.
We're looking at this one.
It's got an extra bedroom, so that might be quite handy.
For what?
Well, I don't know.
A baby, maybe.
Anna... I know. Oh, I know, I know, I know.
Sorry, it's...
it's a mad idea.
It would be a way...
..just to keep him with me.
I think you would love it there.
You'd be able to see the water from your new study.
And it's got four bedrooms.
Why would we need that?
Can we at least...talk about it?
I need some air.
Hey! There he is.
Hey!
What?
Successful night?
I could lie, but what would be the fucking point?
Most I got was a handful of Quality Street
from the nurses' station.
Made me sleep under the table with a pishy dog.
I always thought nurses were nymphos.
And what gave you that shockingly sexist idea?
I know my Carry On films.
Hogg got a snog and I got the bum stare.
Where is he? Across the street, phoning his mum.
Right, I need to get down there early.
Get in, get settled, make a proper day of it.
I'm going to need to eat something first, though.
How much is left in the kitty? We could get a fry-up between us.
Jimmy's got the kitty.
Fuck!
I've lost my ticket.
What?
That was a present. How could you lose it?
I'm sorry.
Tully...
Don't lose that one.
I can't take your ticket, Tully. How are you going to get in?
Gift of the gab.
Which is more than you've got, you fucking spanner.
You sure you've got a plan?
I've always got a plan.
My pal's just gone in.
The fucker's got my ticket.
It's a standing ticket.
I wouldn't bullshit. Piss off.
Straight up?
Piss off back to Jock land.
PUNK MUSIC PLAYS
DOORBELL RINGS
Cheers, pal.
GASPING Da. No!
You came through, Noodles.
I won't forget you for that.
Well, I will, obviously,
because I won't remember anything where I'm going.
We haven't done this right, Tully. Doesn't matter now. It's done.
She'll come round. I know her. I'll tell her tomorrow.
I've been having some wild fucking dreams.
Sometimes everything's just white,
or I'm...or I'm feeding Barbara,
and she suddenly takes the spoon off me,
and she tells me to go and get a vegetable peeler.
Or I'm sleeping with the fishes and...and this man swims down to me.
He's wearing a cardigan, he swims down, and he blows me a kiss.
Is it your dad?
Nah, he was young when he died.
But I'm younger.
The fucker beat me.
He never beat you at anything.
Book the tickets, Noodles.
You want to get cheap flights.
Anna will pay you back. I don't want any...
No, no, no, I'm going to take care of it.
I won't have it any other way.
I can't tell you how much better I'm feeling.
It's like I'm weightless.
You should write about us, Noodles.
We knew how to live.
I love you, man.
GASPING
COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING
GASPING No!
Oh, God, no! No, Tully!
Tully!
MACHINE BEEPS
DOOR OPENS Hey.
They're giving him blood.
It was so scary, Jimmy.
He was just lying on the floor, I thought he would...
Hey.
But he's not. All right? Yeah.
Erm...
Right, I'm...I'm going to go home now that you're here.
I'll go and get some stuff.
They said he's probably going to sleep through this.
He's exhausted.
We're talking immunotherapy drugs now, so...
make him take it.
OK, I'll see you in a bit.
JIMMY SIGHS
Hmm.
SHE SIGHS
What the fuck?
Is this a private room?
I won't get into heaven now.
JIMMY CHUCKLES
You've been lying to me.
All this time.
I've been doing everything that I can to try and keep you here
with me, hoping, and all the time you've been planning your escape.
Anna... Jimmy, I really don't want to hear from you right now.
I love you.
So I don't think I'm ever going to be able to forgive you
for wanting to leave me before you have to.
So you go.
But you go without me.
Because I'm having nothing to do with it.
It's wrong.
It doesn't matter now.
I'm going to die in here like a prick.
Anna. Go away.
He needs you.
He doesn't need anybody, apparently, except you.
Some friend, though.
What kind of pal arranges his best pal's death?
He was only trying to protect you.
He doesn't want you to see him get really bad.
This is nothing to do with me.
It's all about Tully, everything always is.
He's the one that's dying.
You do not kill yourself, not ever.
Not when there are people who love you and want you to live.
There are other ways. That's what hospices are for.
It can be managed, it can be dignified,
it doesn't have to be traumatic.
People die normal deaths every single day.
That's not what he wants.
He wants to be in charge, go out in a blaze of glory.
He's Tully to the end.
He's not the Tully that you knew back in the day.
That Tully is gone.
That's his past, and I am his present.
And he is punishing his present for what's happened to him.
And you have helped him do it.
I thought you would be on my side.
I'm not on anybody's side.
But I'm his sister, Anna.
Talk to him, please,
cos I can't bear it.
None of us can.
But it has to be faced, and that is what he's trying to do.
It's very Tully.
Why did he ask Jimmy?
Why didn't he ask me?
Because he knew you would say no.
He knows it's against everything that you believe in.
How could he ask you?
It would be an insult.
Well, that clinic should've told me.
I'm his wife, I've got a say.
I'm never going to get over this.
Mr Dawson, we have your scan results back.
It's important to be honest, they're not as we hoped.
The disease has progressed in spite of treatment.
The tumours have got bigger.
They're smart little buggers, eh?
We could look at immunotherapy,
but given how unwell you are and the relatively low chance
of it working, it's likely to do more harm than good.
I think it's time to accept we've exhausted all possibilities.
I'm sorry.
Don't be.
I'm relieved.
It's over, babe.
It's bad now.
I can hardly swallow.
It's going to get a lot worse.
What did you write in your letter?
In your goodbye letter.
I couldn't bear to read it.
Tell me what you wrote.
That I wish I didn't have to leave you.
That you've made me the happiest I've ever been.
That you changed me.
Made me the person I always wanted to be.
That I've had a good life.
But you've made it great.
And I just wish I'd known you for all of it.
ANNA SNIFFS
And I love you,
and I'm sorry.
I love you, and I'm sorry.
Come with me.
Just don't ask me to agree with it.
Do you want me to speak with her?
Nah. Nah.
Best leave her for a bit.
Whenever I think about me and Tully back then, it's...
Feels different now we haven't got a future.
It's...
It's more charged.
It's more important somehow.
All this has just made me more conscious of the now.
And you.
Us.
Here.
No fucking about.
This is it, Iona.
This is all there is.
This is everything.
CHEERING
Sorry. Excuse me.
TULLY CHEERS
Tully!
Tully! Yeah!
Come on! Yeah!
INAUDIBLE
One, two. One, two.
MUSIC PLAYS
John.
A bit more level, John.
COUGHING
# Call me out... #
COUGHING
I'm all right.
Tully. Here, mate.
Have a seat.
Ah, good man.
Cheers, pal.
TULLY COUGHS
John, bring that...
Bring that level up a bit more, eh.
Back in a minute.
HE COUGHS
Anna.
Oh.
Look who it is.
Tully's secret collaborator.
Anna... I'm coming, Jimmy.
But none of this is my choice,
I just want to be absolutely clear about that.
I know.
You know, this whole thing has made me...
..even sadder.
This whole thing that you've concocted
with your pretentious Shakespeare and your secret codes.
I'll never accept this,
but we are where we are.
So I'll...
..I'll go along with his ending.
Because I love him...
..with my whole fucking broken heart.
# I hope it hits you when you go
# Sometimes on the edge of sleeping
# It rises up to let me know
# I'm not so deep, I'm not so slow... #
WHISTLING, CHEERING
# It's obvious
# Just count me in and count me out
# I'll be waiting for the shout... #
YOUNG TULLY LAUGHS
# Oblivious. #
CHEERING
Full house.
Fame at last, Tully boy.
I've paid them.
All I ever wanted was the cover of the NME
and a two on an old Bedford van.
Limbo and the fucking NME both died before I did.
He'd be all over those shitty speakers if he was here.
Come on!
I'm going to say arrivederci to him tomorrow.
Do yous want to come?
Hacienda, then?
Nah, let's not bother.
Couldn't live up to the fantasy anyway.
Let's keep it where it should be, in the imagination.
I'm going to kip in here.
I'm not kipping here wi' him.
He's wasted.
Why do we always let him get in this state?
Because he's his own man, you fucking superior prick.
I'm not sleeping in a pish-stained doorway.
I've got asthma and I don't feel well.
It's got fuck all to do wi' asthma
and everything to do with the fact you're a walking Chernobyl.
You do this every time. You're the piss artist.
I'm gonnae batter you.
SHOUTING
Fuck you all.
You're just children.
'Mon, Limbo.
C'mon.
That's it.
I'm not going home tomorrow, boys.
I've booked myself a one-way ticket to Salford.
Seriously?
Never more serious...
..in all my life.
Come on, let's give the boy some air.
There's a pool here, you know.
Sleep well, President Lincoln.
You drank the entire saloon.
If Limbo doesn't watch it, he'll end up like my old man.
Woodbine had a heart attack on Wednesday.
This Wednesday?
Jesus. Tully, should you no' be there?
Why?
He blames me for being young and wanting to go places.
I cannae speak to him, so, no.
Is he dying?
We're all dying. You know what I mean.
Well, he's in hospital, aye.
He's come through this one, but it's the start, isn't it?
Hospitals, doctors...
..my mum having to wipe his chin.
Tully, I... Am I a bad person for coming?
Yeah.
Yeah, fucking evil.
Woodbine had trials for Man City, you know.
Woodbine? Your dad had a trial?
He could really play.
Wasn't good enough, though.
Imagine if he'd been signed. I might've been in New Order.
All those guys at my work...
..just waiting to buy their houses off the council.
Is that all there is?
Sometimes I think I might die there, too.
Tully, get out of there.
Go to night school, take your Highers, and go to uni.
If I can do it, you can.
You can have my books, all of them. We'll sort it.
You helped me, so I'll do the same for you.
I know how to do it now.
OK? We can live life differently.
Night school?
Yeah. Then you'll be free.
Or in a better prison.
Ah!
Save me, Noodles!
I wish we could go back there, to Manchester.
Tell old Lincoln we'd stick together.
Make everything OK.
He'd just tell you to fuck off.
That's the deal, Jimmy. Free will.
It's what saves us and fucks us up.
No regrets, OK?
We've had great times.
A wee treat, President Lincoln.
Tully, no, somebody might...
No, Noodles.
Leave them.
TULLY SOBS
I'm not sure what to take.
Do you think the crew will mind if I brought a loaded Uzi
and a Bowie knife in case it doesn't work?
I'm sure they'll turn a blind eye.
I wasn't sure what to pack.
It wasn't exactly an overnight bag,
more of an overlife bag.
I hope you spanked all my credit cards.
You could just say I went berserk on my last day
and bought 100 pairs of high heels.
TANNOY ANNOUNCEMENT: This is the final call
for flight 2A167 to Zurich.
We boarding, babes?
Yeah.
Weird to think I'll never see Scotland again.
That street was terrifyingly clean.
Do you think Switzerland's a den of corruption
and all the cleanliness is a cover-up operation?
It's the Fredo Corleone of countries.
So naive, so corruptible.
Fredo should never have went to Vegas.
"I know it was you, Fredo."
"You broke my heart. You broke my heart."
You two should have your own show. TULLY LAUGHS
Jimmy.
HE COUGHS
Is this is where socialists come to die?
Nope, only to dine.
What's a consonant between pals?
Maybe I was wrong and the bourgeois pigs had the right idea all along.
CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS
What should we eat, Anna?
Erm, let's have...
the oysters,
the smoked salmon, and the prawn cocktail.
Excellent choice.
And rock lobster, and rack of lamb, and whatever else I can force down.
What's this music, Noodles?
Ravel.
I remember it used to be all northern workers and jangly guitars.
Now it's all big fat pianos and little Catholic Frenchmen.
Jimmy still plays The Smiths at full volume.
But it's usually some tortured Russian.
"Good morning, Alexa, play Shostakovich's Fifth Symphony."
TULLY CHUCKLES
Then the whole house rattles with wind instruments and tam-tams.
THEY LAUGH
Well, I suppose it's better than 14 tracks by The Fall.
Here's a cheery wee start to your day, Anna, knock yourself out.
SHE CHUCKLES
He knew who this was.
You know a lot more than you let on, don't you?
Oh, I know Ravel was the punk of his time.
And this piece was dedicated to his mates,
a bunch of rebels called the Apaches. Correct.
Stravinsky was one, so was the painter Paul Swords.
Slainte.
Down with propaganda.
Spoken like a true Apache.
Oh, erm...
Just to say thank you for the wedding.
Thanks for everything, Jimmy.
Try and write something decent with it for fuck sake.
JIMMY LAUGHS
VOMITING
TOILET FLUSHES
TULLY GASPS
It's fine.
I can't really eat, but I'm going to, so it's fine.
I'm just going to stay here for a minute.
GASPING Da.
Da, what is it?
What is it?
Da!
Da?
Da.
When I...
When I was trying to, trying to help him...
..I had this feeling that...
..he'd infect me.
Fucking hell.
I'm a bad person.
He was trying to tell me something.
"You never really knew me, son."
He called me son.
ANNA HYPERVENTILATES
Just take one thing at a time, OK.
Just one thing at a time.
We're here for you, OK.
You're not on your own.
Is he OK?
Yeah.
Can we just go home and make it all be like normal?
It's... It's up to him.
He can stop it any time he wants.
You could stop it, Jimmy.
Stop it now.
Why do you think I've got all this power over him?
I'm not his dad.
Interesting choice of words.
I'm just honouring the promise he asked me to make.
Jimmy Collins gets things done.
Hey. Hey, Anna, come on, that's not fair.
Yes, it is.
Because you won't be a widow tomorrow.
But there you go, that's the way it is, isn't it?
You've done your best, I've done my best,
and we've just...we've just got to get on with it.
They may not be the most expensive, but they are the best.
Top three smoking scenes in cinema?
Doctor's been, papers all signed.
Let's do this.
DOORBELL RINGS
Welcome, Mr Dawson. Very nice to finally meet you.
And you.
Hi.
Thank you.
Jimmy.
Marta.
Hello.
Welcome.
Zoe and Georgia will be your companions, Mr Dawson.
Oh, it's just Tully.
Please, sit down, Tully.
Thanks.
Would you like some tea?
Well, I hope there's biscuits.
Of course.
You OK?
As I've explained before, you're still free to leave if you so wish.
I'm good.
Top three best biscuits of all time?
And don't say the Wagon Wheel because that's not a biscuit.
Orange Club...
..eh, the Garibaldi...
Oh, that's a bit London, innit?
..and the humble custard cream.
Fair play.
He's just being polite.
Normally he wouldnae gee my choices the time of day.
Don't worry, I'll be mocking them in eternity,
or whatever cosmic tearoom I'm headed for.
Erm, would you mind if we...if we had a drink?
I'll get some glasses.
I need you to sign these.
Please read them carefully.
Well, you're my...you're my lawyer.
ANNA SNIFFS
I think you'd better read it over, too.
Now, before you drink any alcohol, I must make sure everything is clear.
This decision is entirely yours, yes?
You are here of your own free will?
Your medical information states you will die within two months,
and you are electing to end your life
and making an autonomous decision to do it here today?
I am.
Can I borrow your pen, Noodles?
Now, take all the time you want.
The first is to line your stomach.
It'll stop you being sick.
After you drink it, we'll wait 30 minutes,
and then you'll take the second cup.
Can I go outside?
Just for five minutes.
Of course.
IONA SNIFFS I can't.