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MR. BEAT TAKESHI
2
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Yes?
3
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Excuse me.
4
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:43,334
Will this work?
5
00:00:43,418 --> 00:00:45,626
-Yeah. Leave it right there.
-Okay.
6
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Excuse me.
We're about to start. Please follow me.
7
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Break a leg.
8
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We'll finish the interview later.
9
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Oh, okay. Thanks.
10
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Thank you for waiting.
11
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Everything's fine now…
12
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Hello.
13
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Hi.
14
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She'll put your mic on.
15
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Have some water.
16
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We have wonderful guests
here today as always.
17
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All members of the audience
are our guests too, so let's have fun!
18
00:01:16,668 --> 00:01:19,126
-Please wait here.
-You may be on camera.
19
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:21,584
Fix your makeup while you can.
20
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Cameras nowadays
have 4K and 8K resolution.
21
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Even with your usual makeup,
your pores will be very visible.
22
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But don't worry. This show
doesn't have that much of a budget.
23
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I'm sure you can tell
from the gifts we gave you.
24
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I'm here talking nonsense,
but we're ready to go.
25
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Now, give it up for your host today,
26
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Mr. Beat Takeshi!
27
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Young people these days are scary.
28
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Someone was hit
with a metal bat the other day.
29
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I recently got in a fight with some.
We bumped shoulders.
30
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-Really?
-And they had metal bats.
31
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-That's scary.
-Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
32
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-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
33
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1974
34
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-Hey!
-Yes?
35
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Don't "Yes?" me. You're up.
36
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Oh, thank you.
37
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-You get 20 minutes.
-Okay.
38
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-Just one touch.
-Don't be silly.
39
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I said, "You'll get fat."
40
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All right. We're going to have
a special comedy show now.
41
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They came all the way from Tokyo for this.
42
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Um… What was their name?
43
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All right, take it away!
44
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Hello. We're Shokakuya Takeshi-Kiyoshi.
Nice to meet you.
45
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-Oh, Niigata is a nice place.
-Yeah, we've never been here before.
46
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We're from Asakusa, Tokyo.
47
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Yes, we do comedy skits at strip clubs.
48
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We do comedy skits between strips.
49
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Sometimes he gets confused and strips.
50
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I do not. Why would I get naked?
51
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Anyway, young people these days are scary.
52
00:03:23,709 --> 00:03:26,626
Someone was hit
with a metal bat the other day.
53
00:03:26,709 --> 00:03:30,084
I recently got in a fight with some.
We bumped shoulders.
54
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-Really?
-They had metal bats.
55
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-Scary.
-Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
56
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-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
57
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-"We go to Adachi Elementary School."
-They're girls?!
58
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"What?! Adachi?!"
59
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-Why were you scared?
-"My uncle is the vice-principal there!"
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How embarrassing!
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They were only
elementary school girls. Gee!
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You always tell this story.
63
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Listen, you fools.
64
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We're doing manzai here!
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Shut up and listen, you fools!
66
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Whoa, hey, what are you saying?
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I'm sorry. He's just kidding!
68
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Anyway, let's talk about
Mr. Shigeo Nagashima's retirement.
69
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That quote was quite touching, wasn't it?
70
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You look like a dog's balls, you bastard.
71
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That's not how it went…
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Hey, I'm talking about you right there!
73
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-What's with the chitchatting?
-Oh, yeah!
74
00:04:30,084 --> 00:04:33,001
-I'll show you…
-If it's such a funny story…
75
00:04:33,084 --> 00:04:35,709
-…a little magic.
-…come up here and share it.
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-It's just an ordinary…
-Come on. It's funny, right?
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-Hey!
-…handkerchief.
78
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-Enough!
-You've drunk too much.
79
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-Hey, stop it.
-Get out of my way!
80
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If I wrap it around like this…
81
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Who do you think you are?!
82
00:04:52,918 --> 00:04:54,918
…and blow on it…
83
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I'm a comedian, you fool.
84
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Behold! A flower!
85
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I recently got in a fight with some.
We bumped shoulders.
86
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-They had metal bats.
-That's scary.
87
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Not wanting to be…
88
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-That young?!
-"We go to Adachi Elementary School."
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They're girls?!
90
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"What?! Adachi?!
My uncle is the vice-principal there!"
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TAKESHI-KIYOSHI
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Hello. We're Shokakuya Takeshi-Kiyoshi.
Nice to meet you.
93
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I like Nagoya.
94
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Yeah, we've never been here before.
95
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We're from Asakusa, Tokyo.
96
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At strip clubs…
97
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Get out!
98
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Go away, you punks!
99
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There!
100
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You bastards!
101
00:07:12,834 --> 00:07:14,668
-They had metal bats.
-Scary.
102
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Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
103
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-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
104
00:07:21,668 --> 00:07:24,418
Mister. What's the matter?
105
00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:27,418
Oh, I wanna go to the bathroom real quick.
106
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Can't I?
107
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Oh, no. Go ahead.
108
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Sorry. Did I butt in too late earlier?
109
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It's better if you interrupt me.
110
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Yeah, I thought so.
111
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Not wanting to be belittled, I go…
112
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-"Where's your elementary school?!"
-That young?!
113
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-"We go to Adachi Elementary School."
-They're girls?!
114
00:08:39,626 --> 00:08:42,251
-"What?! Adachi?!"
-Why are you scared?
115
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:46,418
-"My uncle is the vice-principal there!"
-How embarrassing!
116
00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:58,418
They reserved us a room
at this kinky-looking hotel?
117
00:08:59,126 --> 00:09:02,084
Well, it's better than
a bench at a train station.
118
00:09:09,876 --> 00:09:11,834
What are we doing?
119
00:09:14,584 --> 00:09:19,418
Should we go back to France-za?
Apologize to Master?
120
00:09:21,001 --> 00:09:25,209
I heard he's saying, "If Take comes,
don't let him into the theater."
121
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That's not an option then.
122
00:09:36,959 --> 00:09:38,543
Why did you make it rotate?
123
00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:42,001
Well, because it rotates.
124
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What do you mean by that?
125
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TWO YEARS EARLIER
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ASAKUSA
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00:10:26,043 --> 00:10:28,959
Hey, Master!
Yesterday's last race was a big upset.
128
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I bought two-eight.
129
00:10:31,876 --> 00:10:34,293
Let's celebrate at my restaurant tonight!
130
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You fool. As if I could use it all there.
131
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I wanna say that someday! Bye!
132
00:10:39,626 --> 00:10:40,459
Bye!
133
00:10:40,543 --> 00:10:41,959
Master, good morning.
134
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-Hey. Beautiful as always.
-Am I?
135
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-I'm talking about the cleaning.
-Oh, come on!
136
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Good morning.
137
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Leading by the strings of the moon,
138
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I'll cut the darkness
with my itching sword.
139
00:11:00,168 --> 00:11:02,959
I am the third generation, Tsukikage--
140
00:11:05,334 --> 00:11:07,168
It's a shame… You fool!
141
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:09,209
You cut me too soon!
142
00:11:09,293 --> 00:11:12,084
I was giving a cool speech.
Wait until I finish.
143
00:11:12,168 --> 00:11:13,084
I'm sorry.
144
00:11:13,793 --> 00:11:17,209
I am the third generation,
Tsukikage Musashi!
145
00:11:21,293 --> 00:11:22,418
You're late!
146
00:11:23,168 --> 00:11:24,793
Attack me at the right time!
147
00:11:24,876 --> 00:11:27,001
"Tsukikage Musashi." Pow! Then, yah!
148
00:11:27,084 --> 00:11:27,918
I'm sorry.
149
00:11:28,001 --> 00:11:29,293
Tsukikage Musashi!
150
00:11:29,376 --> 00:11:30,251
Pow!
151
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:32,209
Don't say it out loud, you fool!
152
00:11:32,293 --> 00:11:35,251
That makes the duel so idiotic!
Say it to yourself!
153
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:36,168
I'm sorry.
154
00:11:36,251 --> 00:11:37,876
Tsukikage Musashi!
155
00:11:38,834 --> 00:11:40,126
You're wide open!
156
00:11:41,459 --> 00:11:44,876
No, stop it. Why are you
showing your butt to the audience?
157
00:11:44,959 --> 00:11:47,459
Turn your head. Show your face as you die!
158
00:11:47,543 --> 00:11:48,876
-I'm sorry!
-Come on!
159
00:11:48,959 --> 00:11:51,418
You're wide open!
160
00:11:55,834 --> 00:11:59,584
{\an8}GREAT MARCH OF THE NUDES
161
00:11:59,668 --> 00:12:02,793
TODAY'S PERFORMANCES
162
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SENZABURO FUKAMI, TROUPE DIRECTOR
163
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:15,001
Ma'am.
164
00:12:16,334 --> 00:12:19,376
What's going on with that thing?
About Master…
165
00:12:21,251 --> 00:12:22,626
Steamed cakes?
166
00:12:31,209 --> 00:12:34,918
I didn't come to Asakusa
to be an elevator boy.
167
00:12:35,418 --> 00:12:36,793
I know.
168
00:12:37,876 --> 00:12:39,459
Oh, welcome!
169
00:12:42,043 --> 00:12:44,209
-It's 800 yen.
-800 yen, okay.
170
00:12:44,293 --> 00:12:45,959
-Here you go.
-Thank you.
171
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:48,876
Enjoy.
172
00:12:49,793 --> 00:12:53,543
Hi. Oh, it's unusual for you
to be here this early.
173
00:12:53,626 --> 00:12:55,501
I'm working nights from this month.
174
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,709
Enjoy.
175
00:12:59,584 --> 00:13:01,209
ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA
176
00:13:07,001 --> 00:13:09,251
Leading by the strings of the moon,
177
00:13:11,293 --> 00:13:13,834
I'll cut the darkness
with my itching sword.
178
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,876
I am Tsukikage Musashi.
179
00:13:20,584 --> 00:13:23,793
You're late, you fool!
I've already finished saying it.
180
00:13:25,709 --> 00:13:27,251
You're late, you fool!
181
00:13:27,876 --> 00:13:29,293
Loved
182
00:13:30,959 --> 00:13:32,668
Dumped
183
00:13:34,668 --> 00:13:36,834
Forgotten
184
00:13:36,918 --> 00:13:39,959
In the corner of the room
185
00:13:41,834 --> 00:13:44,251
I
186
00:13:45,459 --> 00:13:47,668
Commit
187
00:13:48,751 --> 00:13:50,959
Myself
188
00:13:52,418 --> 00:13:54,209
To you
189
00:13:57,418 --> 00:13:58,959
That was
190
00:14:00,793 --> 00:14:03,501
Transient love
191
00:14:05,459 --> 00:14:11,834
Just a passing fancy
192
00:14:13,709 --> 00:14:18,584
I don't know why
But I don't want to think so
193
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:26,626
That makes my heart wrench so bad
194
00:14:27,126 --> 00:14:34,126
Like a doll
195
00:14:34,626 --> 00:14:40,751
Covered in dust
196
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:47,293
Waiting impatiently
197
00:14:48,376 --> 00:14:54,084
Weeping floods of tears
In the corner of the room
198
00:14:55,334 --> 00:15:02,126
I commit myself
199
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:08,418
To you
200
00:15:09,626 --> 00:15:16,043
I commit myself
201
00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:22,459
To you
202
00:15:43,918 --> 00:15:44,959
Hi.
203
00:15:45,459 --> 00:15:46,376
Who are you?
204
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:53,209
Well, I'm living in the dressing room now
and I heard you singing…
205
00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:56,959
Oh, you're the elevator boy.
206
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:01,751
What do you want?
207
00:16:05,251 --> 00:16:08,126
Well, I'm not here for anything.
208
00:16:12,334 --> 00:16:15,959
You're… a good singer.
209
00:16:16,043 --> 00:16:17,251
I won't let you bang me.
210
00:16:17,918 --> 00:16:18,793
What?
211
00:16:20,709 --> 00:16:23,543
I just said, "You're a good singer."
212
00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,501
But you thought you could bang me.
213
00:16:29,584 --> 00:16:31,543
No, I didn't!
214
00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:38,876
I mean, why would I think like that?
215
00:16:44,126 --> 00:16:50,043
I tell you, it's a big mistake
to assume that all men think about that.
216
00:17:04,043 --> 00:17:05,418
Oh, can I bang you?
217
00:17:10,459 --> 00:17:14,459
Could you at least listen to
what he has to say? You know him.
218
00:17:19,459 --> 00:17:22,459
Fine. But is he worth it?
219
00:17:24,168 --> 00:17:26,126
-Oh, it's him!
-Good morning.
220
00:17:26,209 --> 00:17:28,668
We were just talking about you, Take.
221
00:17:28,751 --> 00:17:30,709
Please give me your support!
222
00:17:30,793 --> 00:17:32,001
Hmm…
223
00:17:32,876 --> 00:17:34,959
And? What kind of skill do you have?
224
00:17:35,709 --> 00:17:36,543
What?
225
00:17:36,626 --> 00:17:39,626
An artistic skill.
You wanna be a performer, right?
226
00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:41,501
What kind of skill do you have?
227
00:17:44,084 --> 00:17:45,459
Nothing in particular.
228
00:17:45,543 --> 00:17:50,001
What?! You fool! Are you messing with me?
229
00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:52,626
You can't become a showman
without any skills.
230
00:17:52,709 --> 00:17:53,543
I'm sorry.
231
00:17:53,626 --> 00:17:58,793
Whether it's singing or dancing,
you must have a skill to perform onstage.
232
00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:03,793
Oh, but I like jazz.
I used to work part-time at a jazz cafe.
233
00:18:03,876 --> 00:18:05,418
Oh, can you play it?
234
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,376
No, I listen.
235
00:18:06,459 --> 00:18:08,918
What good is that?!
You wanna be a spectator?
236
00:18:09,001 --> 00:18:11,918
I thought you wanted to be a performer.
237
00:18:13,834 --> 00:18:14,668
That's right.
238
00:18:14,751 --> 00:18:18,709
Don't just clam up.
Entertainers need to have quick comebacks.
239
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:21,501
-You can't even do that…
-Now, now, Master.
240
00:18:21,584 --> 00:18:25,001
You suddenly asked him about his skill
so he's confused.
241
00:18:29,459 --> 00:18:32,209
I'm sorry, but go ask someone else.
242
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:36,876
I don't want anyone else!
243
00:18:42,709 --> 00:18:47,334
I really like your skits, Master.
244
00:18:51,418 --> 00:18:53,751
I've seen various comedians' skits,
245
00:18:55,543 --> 00:18:57,751
but Master's skits are the best.
246
00:18:59,751 --> 00:19:00,918
It's like…
247
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:05,293
even if it's the same pun,
248
00:19:06,584 --> 00:19:10,251
you can make it way funnier
than other people.
249
00:19:13,293 --> 00:19:16,168
You talk like you know a lot about comedy.
250
00:19:16,251 --> 00:19:19,709
Gee. My skits are the best?
251
00:19:20,209 --> 00:19:23,376
You don't know anything about comedy,
you little shit.
252
00:19:25,668 --> 00:19:27,168
What's so funny?!
253
00:19:27,251 --> 00:19:30,543
Nothing. Do you want some steamed cakes?
254
00:19:30,626 --> 00:19:32,209
No I don't, you fool!
255
00:19:38,793 --> 00:19:39,793
Hey!
256
00:19:40,293 --> 00:19:42,084
Isn't this your job?!
257
00:19:42,168 --> 00:19:43,376
Oh, I'm sorry.
258
00:20:02,584 --> 00:20:03,459
What?
259
00:20:04,084 --> 00:20:05,209
Here.
260
00:20:06,334 --> 00:20:07,168
Okay.
261
00:21:04,751 --> 00:21:06,626
That's what an artistic skill is.
262
00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:10,668
If you're serious, I'll teach you.
263
00:21:19,459 --> 00:21:21,751
Oh, hey! Give me back my bag, you fool!
264
00:21:22,251 --> 00:21:24,293
-Hey!
-Oh, okay!
265
00:21:24,376 --> 00:21:26,418
-My bag!
-I'll bring it to you!
266
00:21:27,876 --> 00:21:29,293
KING AND QUEEN
CHIHARU
267
00:22:35,584 --> 00:22:37,251
Fukami, come on.
268
00:24:05,709 --> 00:24:07,376
It's starting to look good.
269
00:24:08,001 --> 00:24:08,918
Yeah?
270
00:24:10,418 --> 00:24:11,334
Here.
271
00:24:29,084 --> 00:24:30,293
Stop it.
272
00:24:32,501 --> 00:24:36,043
That "I'm enjoying my youth" look.
It's embarrassing to watch.
273
00:24:36,126 --> 00:24:37,293
Oh, shut up.
274
00:24:40,668 --> 00:24:42,168
-Anyway…
-You can't bang me.
275
00:24:42,251 --> 00:24:43,626
I wasn't gonna say that.
276
00:24:45,876 --> 00:24:49,043
Why are you working here as…
277
00:24:50,459 --> 00:24:51,293
You know.
278
00:24:53,501 --> 00:24:54,334
A stripper?
279
00:24:57,168 --> 00:24:58,251
I've forgotten.
280
00:24:59,834 --> 00:25:03,251
I was traveling around Japan
acting and singing in a troupe,
281
00:25:03,751 --> 00:25:05,668
but I found myself dancing naked.
282
00:25:07,959 --> 00:25:09,168
So you were a singer.
283
00:25:11,376 --> 00:25:13,293
No wonder you can sing so well.
284
00:25:16,293 --> 00:25:18,334
Anyone can do as much.
285
00:25:27,834 --> 00:25:30,834
I envy you. You're still at the beginning.
286
00:25:35,709 --> 00:25:37,168
No… Never mind.
287
00:25:40,501 --> 00:25:41,376
Continue.
288
00:25:57,626 --> 00:25:58,459
Hey, Take.
289
00:25:59,334 --> 00:26:00,459
-Yes?
-You're on.
290
00:26:00,543 --> 00:26:01,376
What?
291
00:26:01,959 --> 00:26:04,709
Kiyoshi can't go on, so Master wants you.
292
00:26:04,793 --> 00:26:05,668
But…
293
00:26:06,251 --> 00:26:07,293
This is your chance.
294
00:26:07,376 --> 00:26:09,834
Hurry up or Master will change his mind.
295
00:26:10,418 --> 00:26:12,626
Go. I'll handle the elevator for you.
296
00:26:12,709 --> 00:26:13,751
-Thanks.
-Mm-hm.
297
00:26:14,418 --> 00:26:15,418
A cocktail waitress?
298
00:26:15,501 --> 00:26:19,126
Yeah. I'm the aniki and Takayama
is my sworn younger brother.
299
00:26:19,209 --> 00:26:24,084
And after Takayama leaves, I'll say,
"I've got to pick up a hot chick, too,"
300
00:26:24,168 --> 00:26:25,501
then, you walk by.
301
00:26:27,209 --> 00:26:28,251
Then what?
302
00:26:28,918 --> 00:26:31,501
It depends on the audience reaction.
303
00:26:31,584 --> 00:26:32,918
I have to improvise?
304
00:26:33,001 --> 00:26:37,418
Yeah, I'll tell you what to do
so just go along with it.
305
00:26:38,709 --> 00:26:40,084
Just go along?
306
00:26:40,168 --> 00:26:42,626
Can you remember your lines then?
307
00:26:42,709 --> 00:26:45,209
Huh? Can you?!
308
00:26:46,001 --> 00:26:47,709
Then go get ready!
309
00:26:47,793 --> 00:26:48,751
Okay.
310
00:27:00,126 --> 00:27:01,084
Hey, Take.
311
00:27:02,001 --> 00:27:03,543
-Yes?
-What are you doing?
312
00:27:04,918 --> 00:27:08,918
-Well, I'm a cocktail waitress…
-You fool! Remove it now!
313
00:27:09,418 --> 00:27:11,459
-But I should be…
-Just remove it!
314
00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:19,001
Listen, Take. Comedians must
get a laugh with their skill.
315
00:27:19,084 --> 00:27:23,293
If we wanna get it with a funny face,
we can put some ugly person onstage.
316
00:27:24,709 --> 00:27:27,043
If you're a comedian get into your role.
317
00:27:27,126 --> 00:27:29,626
There's no waitress
who tries to look ugly.
318
00:27:30,751 --> 00:27:33,209
"I'll be the most beautiful in the world!"
319
00:27:33,293 --> 00:27:35,501
Put on your makeup with that spirit.
320
00:27:36,668 --> 00:27:37,668
I'm sorry.
321
00:27:38,168 --> 00:27:41,918
I don't know about other troupes,
but if you wanna work under me,
322
00:27:42,668 --> 00:27:44,168
don't be laughed at.
323
00:27:45,751 --> 00:27:47,043
Make them laugh.
324
00:27:50,959 --> 00:27:51,834
Okay.
325
00:27:53,709 --> 00:27:54,751
Remove it.
326
00:28:01,876 --> 00:28:03,709
-Aniki.
-Yeah.
327
00:28:03,793 --> 00:28:06,334
I picked up a hot chick thanks to you.
328
00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:07,251
You sure did.
329
00:28:07,334 --> 00:28:10,918
I'm gonna go to a hotel
with that chick now.
330
00:28:11,001 --> 00:28:12,209
Yeah, go ahead.
331
00:28:16,501 --> 00:28:20,668
All right. I've got to pick up
a hot chick for myself too.
332
00:28:20,751 --> 00:28:22,293
Oh, here comes one now.
333
00:28:23,876 --> 00:28:27,626
Hey, Miss, would you like
to hang out with me?
334
00:28:27,709 --> 00:28:29,293
Yes, thank you.
335
00:28:29,376 --> 00:28:31,084
Oh, thank you.
336
00:28:33,543 --> 00:28:34,918
The skit's gonna end!
337
00:28:35,834 --> 00:28:39,168
You have to reject it.
No, you must ignore me and go past.
338
00:28:39,251 --> 00:28:42,251
This guy is so shady,
so you should just ignore him.
339
00:28:42,334 --> 00:28:43,209
-Ignore?
-Got it?
340
00:28:43,293 --> 00:28:44,293
Okay.
341
00:28:44,376 --> 00:28:47,293
Hey, Miss, would you like
to hang out with me?
342
00:28:50,584 --> 00:28:52,084
Say something!
343
00:28:52,168 --> 00:28:55,876
-You told me to ignore…
-No, you must say something. Come back!
344
00:28:55,959 --> 00:28:58,918
If we don't talk at all,
this skit's not gonna work.
345
00:28:59,834 --> 00:29:02,709
Miss, do you have something to do?
346
00:29:09,501 --> 00:29:11,543
Just say something!
347
00:29:11,626 --> 00:29:14,418
If you're a comedian,
just say something. Say it!
348
00:29:14,501 --> 00:29:17,793
I… I was gonna go shopping.
349
00:29:20,043 --> 00:29:23,001
Hey, you, right there.
Don't applaud unnecessarily.
350
00:29:23,501 --> 00:29:26,209
Getting applause for that
isn't good for him.
351
00:29:26,293 --> 00:29:30,334
Hey, I paid to see this!
Don't tell me what to do.
352
00:29:30,834 --> 00:29:32,501
Who do you think you are?
353
00:29:35,626 --> 00:29:37,626
I'm a comedian, you fool.
354
00:29:40,126 --> 00:29:44,376
We don't ask you to watch us.
We offer you comedy. So shut up and watch!
355
00:29:49,918 --> 00:29:51,834
Why are you the one shutting up?!
356
00:29:52,334 --> 00:29:56,209
You're a comedian, so speak.
Say something funny.
357
00:29:57,418 --> 00:30:01,043
What?! Excuse me?
Oh, do you wanna spend a night with me?
358
00:30:01,126 --> 00:30:05,751
What are you doing all of a sudden?!
There's no such chick! And you're a guy!
359
00:30:05,834 --> 00:30:09,293
HOGEISEN
360
00:30:15,418 --> 00:30:17,501
Take, how was your first performance?
361
00:30:17,584 --> 00:30:18,626
Awful.
362
00:30:19,334 --> 00:30:22,584
Master ragged me after that
like, "You suck!"
363
00:30:22,668 --> 00:30:25,209
He's a narrow-minded old man.
364
00:30:25,293 --> 00:30:26,126
He really is.
365
00:30:26,209 --> 00:30:27,084
Hey!
366
00:30:28,751 --> 00:30:29,876
Oh, sorry.
367
00:30:29,959 --> 00:30:34,793
It's okay. I'm with that guy all the time.
Can you imagine?
368
00:30:35,709 --> 00:30:37,293
I respect you for that.
369
00:30:39,209 --> 00:30:43,084
Oh, Inoue. Have you finished writing
the skit you told me about?
370
00:30:43,168 --> 00:30:46,459
Oh, yes, a rough outline.
I'll ask Master to read it tomorrow.
371
00:30:46,543 --> 00:30:48,418
Give me a good role.
372
00:30:49,084 --> 00:30:51,709
Oh, yeah. Inoue, you're a writer.
373
00:30:51,793 --> 00:30:56,709
No, I'm just an aspiring writer
I hope I can become one someday.
374
00:30:56,793 --> 00:31:00,126
Hmm… I'm jealous that you all have dreams.
375
00:31:00,209 --> 00:31:03,793
What are you talking about?
You wanna be a singer, right?
376
00:31:03,876 --> 00:31:06,334
You said you'd sing at the Japan Theatre.
377
00:31:06,418 --> 00:31:07,668
But that's--
378
00:31:07,751 --> 00:31:10,918
Well, she's secretly
practicing after the shows.
379
00:31:11,001 --> 00:31:14,126
Shut up. You don't have to tell them that.
380
00:31:14,751 --> 00:31:16,626
Hey, everyone, eat more.
381
00:31:16,709 --> 00:31:19,918
As they say,
"Eat gei and polish your gei."
382
00:31:20,001 --> 00:31:20,918
"Gei"?
383
00:31:21,584 --> 00:31:23,793
"Gei" means both "whale" and "skill."
384
00:31:23,876 --> 00:31:25,459
-I see.
-Don't act smart.
385
00:31:25,543 --> 00:31:28,293
You asked me how to read it before.
386
00:31:28,376 --> 00:31:30,709
I don't know what you're talking about.
387
00:31:30,793 --> 00:31:32,376
Don't play dumb.
388
00:31:32,459 --> 00:31:33,626
Here, eat this.
389
00:31:33,709 --> 00:31:36,168
-Yeah, eat up.
-Here, Take, eat this, too.
390
00:31:36,251 --> 00:31:38,334
-Here, Take.
-I'll eat them. Thanks.
391
00:31:38,418 --> 00:31:39,376
Thanks.
392
00:31:42,751 --> 00:31:45,209
Anyway, we only have a small audience.
393
00:31:46,751 --> 00:31:48,876
It's the age of TV now.
394
00:31:50,293 --> 00:31:52,584
Master doesn't like it though.
395
00:31:52,668 --> 00:31:55,376
He said it's not suited for performances.
396
00:31:55,459 --> 00:31:56,543
Yeah.
397
00:31:57,043 --> 00:32:02,501
And only old people go to strip clubs now.
398
00:32:04,251 --> 00:32:05,376
Oh, wait a sec.
399
00:32:09,084 --> 00:32:10,626
What are you doing?
400
00:32:10,709 --> 00:32:13,084
Sending a threatening letter
to demand money?
401
00:32:13,168 --> 00:32:14,501
It's for my mother.
402
00:32:15,751 --> 00:32:19,793
I left home saying
I was gonna be a writer.
403
00:32:20,876 --> 00:32:23,918
So I at least want them
to know that I'm alive.
404
00:32:25,459 --> 00:32:29,168
Could you write a letter
to my mother for me?
405
00:32:29,251 --> 00:32:32,376
You're from Umejima.
You can walk there from here.
406
00:32:36,251 --> 00:32:38,751
I broke free from my old life.
407
00:32:41,126 --> 00:32:42,043
What?
408
00:32:43,376 --> 00:32:48,459
I dropped out of college and I had nothing
to do, so I worked part-time for a living.
409
00:32:50,001 --> 00:32:55,043
The people who were so involved in
the student protests are now wearing ties.
410
00:32:55,543 --> 00:32:57,751
Everyone's so shrewd and calculating.
411
00:32:57,834 --> 00:32:59,251
Gee.
412
00:33:00,418 --> 00:33:04,001
And I'm living like a vagabond.
413
00:33:04,959 --> 00:33:08,209
I feel pathetic and frustrated.
414
00:33:09,626 --> 00:33:11,584
That's why I came to Asakusa.
415
00:33:12,876 --> 00:33:16,251
To break free from my old life
and become a comedian.
416
00:33:18,084 --> 00:33:20,501
Quit college to be a comedian?
What a waste.
417
00:33:21,584 --> 00:33:23,793
It's more wasteful to not do anything.
418
00:33:25,793 --> 00:33:28,918
That's how dreamers think
and end up dying in a ditch.
419
00:33:32,501 --> 00:33:35,376
Then, I'll die in a funny way
and make you laugh.
420
00:33:40,043 --> 00:33:42,293
Wanna pay a visit to the temple?
421
00:33:44,209 --> 00:33:45,834
Can I borrow some money?
422
00:33:45,918 --> 00:33:50,334
Hey, normal people don't make a wish
with other people's money.
423
00:33:50,418 --> 00:33:51,251
Just a little?
424
00:33:51,334 --> 00:33:52,959
-You have money.
-No, I don't.
425
00:33:53,043 --> 00:33:55,459
No, I know you have at least five yen.
426
00:33:55,543 --> 00:33:56,376
I don't.
427
00:34:05,793 --> 00:34:07,793
Mari!
428
00:34:24,626 --> 00:34:27,334
It was great! Mari, you were beautiful!
429
00:34:27,418 --> 00:34:29,293
You mean it? I'm so happy!
430
00:34:29,376 --> 00:34:32,418
-Here's the usual.
-Thank you. Come back again.
431
00:34:32,501 --> 00:34:34,459
-Mm-hm.
-Don't go anywhere else.
432
00:34:34,543 --> 00:34:36,501
I only love you, Mari! See you!
433
00:34:36,584 --> 00:34:38,376
Thank you very much!
434
00:34:41,418 --> 00:34:43,251
Take! Take!
435
00:34:44,001 --> 00:34:45,334
That was a good show.
436
00:34:45,418 --> 00:34:48,668
-You studied engineering at school, right?
-Yes.
437
00:34:48,751 --> 00:34:50,751
Then, are you good with machines?
438
00:34:51,543 --> 00:34:53,793
No, I only went to college for a week.
439
00:34:53,876 --> 00:34:56,834
The rotating platform's broken.
Can you take a look?
440
00:34:56,918 --> 00:34:59,418
-But I'm not…
-Oh, Mr. Miyoshi!
441
00:34:59,501 --> 00:35:01,001
I'll leave it to you.
442
00:35:01,084 --> 00:35:04,418
I got this from someone.
Share it with Inoue.
443
00:35:05,834 --> 00:35:10,501
Thank you very much!
I'm so happy to see you!
444
00:35:35,626 --> 00:35:36,459
Hey.
445
00:36:03,043 --> 00:36:03,918
Is it fixed?
446
00:36:04,501 --> 00:36:06,584
I've never done it, so I don't know.
447
00:36:17,001 --> 00:36:19,126
I'm impressed, Mr. Engineer.
448
00:36:19,209 --> 00:36:20,418
Shut up.
449
00:37:08,959 --> 00:37:11,001
KING AND QUEEN
CHIHARU
450
00:38:51,959 --> 00:38:53,793
Master. I'm sorry, I'll just…
451
00:40:00,709 --> 00:40:01,668
Hey, Take!
452
00:40:03,918 --> 00:40:05,251
Master was here!
453
00:40:14,459 --> 00:40:15,501
Master!
454
00:40:16,959 --> 00:40:18,376
I'm sorry!
455
00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:22,751
You're pissing me off, you bastard.
456
00:40:24,168 --> 00:40:28,376
All right. You can have those shoes.
457
00:40:28,918 --> 00:40:29,751
What?
458
00:40:30,418 --> 00:40:33,376
How can I wear shoes
that were worn by an amateur?!
459
00:40:35,084 --> 00:40:36,209
Thank you!
460
00:40:36,709 --> 00:40:37,626
It's 500 yen.
461
00:40:38,793 --> 00:40:41,668
What?
I thought you were gonna give them to me.
462
00:40:41,751 --> 00:40:46,751
You brazen bastard. Do you know
how much they are? Why would I--
463
00:40:46,834 --> 00:40:48,918
Never mind. I'll buy them.
464
00:40:49,834 --> 00:40:51,168
Thank you very much.
465
00:40:51,751 --> 00:40:53,709
-Gee.
-Oh, Master!
466
00:40:54,418 --> 00:40:55,626
Um…
467
00:40:56,584 --> 00:40:58,626
Could you teach me other steps?
468
00:41:00,418 --> 00:41:02,043
I refuse, you fool.
469
00:41:03,084 --> 00:41:03,918
What?
470
00:41:05,959 --> 00:41:07,918
There are no more steps to teach!
471
00:41:12,751 --> 00:41:14,126
Come see me tomorrow.
472
00:41:16,084 --> 00:41:17,501
Don't forget the 500 yen!
473
00:41:23,084 --> 00:41:24,793
-Good morning!
-Morning!
474
00:41:24,876 --> 00:41:26,334
Have some sponge cakes.
475
00:41:26,418 --> 00:41:28,251
-Yum!
-Yay!
476
00:41:29,043 --> 00:41:29,918
What?
477
00:41:30,959 --> 00:41:32,293
Didn't you hear?
478
00:41:33,084 --> 00:41:36,209
I'll let you perform officially
as a comedian.
479
00:41:36,709 --> 00:41:39,543
Really? Thank you very much.
480
00:41:39,626 --> 00:41:41,001
You did it, Take.
481
00:41:42,168 --> 00:41:44,918
You're now a stage manager, too.
Don't collapse.
482
00:41:45,001 --> 00:41:46,751
A stage manager?
483
00:41:46,834 --> 00:41:51,251
Setting and removing props, picking up
costumes… Basically any odd job.
484
00:41:52,001 --> 00:41:54,043
If you have any questions, ask him.
485
00:41:54,751 --> 00:41:55,834
Please teach me.
486
00:41:56,918 --> 00:42:01,501
Also, you haven't got a place and
been sleeping in the dressing room, right?
487
00:42:01,584 --> 00:42:02,584
Yes.
488
00:42:02,668 --> 00:42:06,918
The room below ours just
became vacant, so I rented it for you.
489
00:42:07,793 --> 00:42:10,334
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
490
00:42:10,418 --> 00:42:13,293
-All right, let's just start with this.
-Okay.
491
00:42:15,334 --> 00:42:18,293
Now, I think I'm gonna take a break…
492
00:42:18,376 --> 00:42:19,584
-Takayama.
-Yes?
493
00:42:19,668 --> 00:42:21,376
-Polish my shoes.
-What?
494
00:42:21,459 --> 00:42:22,293
Got a problem?
495
00:42:54,751 --> 00:42:56,251
-Really?
-Yay!
496
00:42:56,334 --> 00:42:57,334
I should do it.
497
00:42:57,418 --> 00:42:59,543
-Great! Let's do it.
-It's no good.
498
00:42:59,626 --> 00:43:01,168
-You sure?
-Yes.
499
00:43:01,251 --> 00:43:04,043
Because Hiro said he wanted to wear it.
500
00:43:04,126 --> 00:43:05,626
Next, Chiharu, you're up.
501
00:43:05,709 --> 00:43:06,668
Okay.
502
00:43:10,418 --> 00:43:12,959
Oh, Take, could you zip it up?
503
00:43:15,584 --> 00:43:17,918
-Today's audience is a bit tough.
-I see.
504
00:43:18,584 --> 00:43:20,418
Then I'm gonna go do my best.
505
00:43:29,334 --> 00:43:33,751
NUMBER 2 MATSUKURA APARTMENT
506
00:43:35,918 --> 00:43:41,251
Well, it's for Room 102 and this room,
so the change is…
507
00:43:41,334 --> 00:43:43,293
Oh, no. Keep it.
508
00:43:43,376 --> 00:43:47,834
Yeah? Thank you as always, Master.
509
00:43:48,501 --> 00:43:51,459
-Okay, good night.
-Yeah.
510
00:43:51,543 --> 00:43:53,626
Mari. Good night.
511
00:43:53,709 --> 00:43:56,376
Yes, thanks. Good night.
512
00:43:56,459 --> 00:43:57,501
Thanks.
513
00:44:02,918 --> 00:44:04,418
How's Take?
514
00:44:04,501 --> 00:44:05,418
What?
515
00:44:06,501 --> 00:44:07,543
Oh…
516
00:44:08,209 --> 00:44:10,918
Well, I don't know yet.
517
00:44:11,418 --> 00:44:15,459
But you're even paying for his rent,
so you have high hopes for him.
518
00:44:15,543 --> 00:44:17,876
Yeah, I sort of do.
519
00:44:19,084 --> 00:44:22,501
Maybe he'll become successful.
520
00:44:27,293 --> 00:44:28,209
Hey.
521
00:44:30,709 --> 00:44:32,834
I think I'll work as a geisha.
522
00:44:33,751 --> 00:44:34,584
What?
523
00:44:35,168 --> 00:44:38,043
I can make more money as a geisha
than as a dancer.
524
00:44:38,126 --> 00:44:42,334
What are you talking about?
You don't have to worry about that.
525
00:44:43,043 --> 00:44:45,168
Then who's gonna worry about it?
526
00:44:45,251 --> 00:44:48,834
Hm? Are you gonna worry about it for me?
527
00:44:50,459 --> 00:44:52,876
-Are you?
-It's gonna be alright.
528
00:44:52,959 --> 00:44:56,043
People will come back to the theater
soon enough.
529
00:44:56,709 --> 00:45:00,793
Because, after all, I'm Fukami of Asakusa.
530
00:45:04,751 --> 00:45:10,043
Well, the thing is if you become
a geisha, you'll get popular.
531
00:45:10,126 --> 00:45:14,834
Then I think I'll go see you every day.
I'll end up spending money anyway.
532
00:45:15,918 --> 00:45:18,001
Right, Mari?
533
00:45:18,501 --> 00:45:20,209
I'll end up spending money.
534
00:45:21,918 --> 00:45:26,168
I think you better make the introduction
easier to understand.
535
00:45:26,251 --> 00:45:30,834
But if you explain things too much
you'll end up spoiling the joke.
536
00:45:30,918 --> 00:45:31,959
You're right.
537
00:45:32,709 --> 00:45:36,334
But I think that's okay,
so let's give it a try…
538
00:45:38,084 --> 00:45:40,459
-I don't really like it.
-Why?
539
00:45:48,168 --> 00:45:50,668
-All right. I'll be back soon.
-Okay.
540
00:45:52,876 --> 00:45:55,584
Oh, right.
541
00:45:57,293 --> 00:45:58,918
What should I do?
542
00:46:28,043 --> 00:46:28,876
Here.
543
00:46:30,209 --> 00:46:33,376
Thanks. Need anything on the way back?
544
00:46:34,584 --> 00:46:35,876
A mink fur.
545
00:46:37,709 --> 00:46:40,834
Okay. Sorry if I come back
with a mikan orange peel.
546
00:46:41,918 --> 00:46:43,584
I said a mink fur!
547
00:46:46,126 --> 00:46:48,209
No, it's just how you do it…
548
00:46:48,293 --> 00:46:49,626
Oh, Master, hi.
549
00:46:49,709 --> 00:46:52,876
Oh, it's you guys. What are you doing?
550
00:46:53,376 --> 00:46:55,584
Well, we were rehearsing our skit.
551
00:46:55,668 --> 00:46:58,668
Rehearsing?
Sounds like you guys are already pros.
552
00:46:58,751 --> 00:47:00,501
Good timing. Wanna go eat?
553
00:47:00,584 --> 00:47:04,084
Good timing?
Master, you said the same thing yesterday.
554
00:47:05,043 --> 00:47:06,126
Shut up, you idiot.
555
00:47:06,209 --> 00:47:08,084
-Do you wanna go or not?
-I'll go.
556
00:47:08,168 --> 00:47:09,418
-Me, too.
-I'm hungry.
557
00:47:09,501 --> 00:47:11,043
Then say so from the start.
558
00:47:11,668 --> 00:47:12,918
What do you wanna eat?
559
00:47:13,001 --> 00:47:14,418
-Sushi.
-Sushi.
560
00:47:14,501 --> 00:47:18,751
Sushi? Why don't you guys
say something more reasonable?
561
00:47:18,834 --> 00:47:20,376
-Eel?
-That's no different.
562
00:47:20,459 --> 00:47:22,334
-Reasonable.
-They're both expensive.
563
00:47:23,168 --> 00:47:24,668
Udon sounds good, right?
564
00:47:28,876 --> 00:47:30,834
Here is your beer.
565
00:47:30,918 --> 00:47:33,376
No, no. You don't need to pour it.
566
00:47:35,459 --> 00:47:36,543
Just eat.
567
00:47:39,584 --> 00:47:44,126
Guys, I've been wanting to mention this,
but what are you wearing?
568
00:47:44,876 --> 00:47:45,793
What?
569
00:47:45,876 --> 00:47:48,251
Comedians must wear nice clothes.
570
00:47:48,751 --> 00:47:53,334
No matter how foolish you act onstage,
you should be cool offstage.
571
00:47:53,418 --> 00:47:54,418
Got it?
572
00:47:56,376 --> 00:47:57,918
But I'm a writer…
573
00:47:58,501 --> 00:48:02,584
What? Yeah.
That's why I wasn't talking to you.
574
00:48:02,668 --> 00:48:04,376
But you were talking to him.
575
00:48:04,459 --> 00:48:05,709
Shut up, you idiot!
576
00:48:06,209 --> 00:48:07,418
Listen, Take.
577
00:48:07,501 --> 00:48:09,293
Wear nice clothes.
578
00:48:09,376 --> 00:48:12,584
If you don't eat for three days,
no one'll notice,
579
00:48:12,668 --> 00:48:14,793
but everyone'll notice what you wear.
580
00:48:16,793 --> 00:48:18,543
Then, pay me more.
581
00:48:20,043 --> 00:48:23,959
Oh, no. Gee. That's not the point here.
582
00:48:24,459 --> 00:48:27,626
Oh, speaking of which,
you haven't paid me 500 yen yet.
583
00:48:27,709 --> 00:48:28,834
Oh, yeah.
584
00:48:28,918 --> 00:48:31,043
I didn't give them to you for free.
585
00:48:34,418 --> 00:48:36,543
Master, thank you as always.
586
00:48:36,626 --> 00:48:38,376
Sure. Everything was delicious.
587
00:48:38,459 --> 00:48:40,918
-Please come again.
-Thanks for the meal.
588
00:48:41,626 --> 00:48:42,584
You fool!
589
00:48:43,834 --> 00:48:44,918
Look there.
590
00:48:47,751 --> 00:48:49,168
I wanted those.
591
00:48:49,959 --> 00:48:50,793
What?
592
00:48:50,876 --> 00:48:52,293
I'd put them on and say,
593
00:48:52,376 --> 00:48:54,543
"Oh, did I get taller?"
594
00:48:54,626 --> 00:48:56,459
"No, you fool!"
595
00:48:57,293 --> 00:48:58,793
That's how you learn.
596
00:49:00,251 --> 00:49:03,876
If you can't act silly offstage,
you can't do it onstage.
597
00:49:06,501 --> 00:49:08,418
Comedians must always act silly.
598
00:49:09,251 --> 00:49:10,126
Okay.
599
00:49:11,001 --> 00:49:12,626
-Let's go.
-Thank you.
600
00:49:12,709 --> 00:49:14,543
-See you.
-Yes, come again.
601
00:49:26,876 --> 00:49:27,751
Excuse me…
602
00:49:32,584 --> 00:49:36,584
I've been wondering
about Master's left hand…
603
00:49:39,126 --> 00:49:40,834
Oh, about that.
604
00:49:42,834 --> 00:49:47,126
I heard that it happened
at a munition plant during the war.
605
00:49:48,626 --> 00:49:52,043
It got caught in a conveyor belt
and this all got chopped off.
606
00:49:53,751 --> 00:49:55,751
That's why it's always bandaged.
607
00:49:55,834 --> 00:49:57,334
I see.
608
00:50:01,084 --> 00:50:05,584
But he can even play the guitar
with those fingers,
609
00:50:05,668 --> 00:50:07,584
so Master's a hell of a man.
610
00:50:09,209 --> 00:50:10,293
I'm what?
611
00:50:10,376 --> 00:50:13,376
Oh, good morning.
612
00:50:13,459 --> 00:50:14,668
-Move.
-Good morning.
613
00:50:14,751 --> 00:50:16,876
Don't "Good morning" me, you fool.
614
00:50:16,959 --> 00:50:19,584
You were talking behind my back,
you bastard.
615
00:50:19,668 --> 00:50:21,501
No, we weren't.
616
00:50:38,543 --> 00:50:39,459
Master.
617
00:50:41,126 --> 00:50:43,209
-What?
-I just heard from Takayama.
618
00:50:44,584 --> 00:50:45,876
About your left hand.
619
00:50:49,001 --> 00:50:50,168
What about it?
620
00:50:54,293 --> 00:50:57,418
Did you really eat it
because you were hungry?
621
00:51:08,043 --> 00:51:11,376
I'm not an octopus, you fool!
Why would I eat myself?!
622
00:51:11,459 --> 00:51:13,543
I'm not that hungry, you bastard!
623
00:51:14,043 --> 00:51:18,876
Okay. But it must be hard to swim.
You can't help but go towards the left.
624
00:51:18,959 --> 00:51:22,001
Yeah, even if I swim hard,
I'll end up where I started.
625
00:51:22,084 --> 00:51:22,918
Shut up!
626
00:51:23,001 --> 00:51:25,459
-I'm actually a good swimmer.
-Yeah?
627
00:51:25,543 --> 00:51:28,376
But when I compete,
I always lose by a touch.
628
00:51:28,459 --> 00:51:30,293
You fool! Don't make me say it!
629
00:51:30,376 --> 00:51:33,834
{\an8}ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA
630
00:51:33,918 --> 00:51:34,793
You're an adult!
631
00:51:34,876 --> 00:51:37,293
-I'm a child.
-A child? What are you saying?
632
00:51:37,376 --> 00:51:39,543
-How old are you?
-I'm eight.
633
00:51:39,626 --> 00:51:40,584
Eight?!
634
00:51:40,668 --> 00:51:42,626
On all accounts, he's over 30.
635
00:51:42,709 --> 00:51:44,709
What? Old man, I'm really eight.
636
00:51:44,793 --> 00:51:46,126
Eight? No way.
637
00:51:46,209 --> 00:51:49,751
Fine, then what were you doing today?
638
00:51:49,834 --> 00:51:51,709
I went to the zoo today.
639
00:51:51,793 --> 00:51:52,751
The zoo?
640
00:51:52,834 --> 00:51:57,001
There were so many horses,
so I got excited and bet all my money!
641
00:51:57,084 --> 00:52:00,168
That's a horse race.
You don't call it a zoo.
642
00:52:00,251 --> 00:52:05,168
Azuhachi, I'm so impressed.
I heard you're all over TV these days.
643
00:52:05,251 --> 00:52:07,043
No, no.
644
00:52:07,584 --> 00:52:10,209
You impudently became a big star.
645
00:52:10,751 --> 00:52:11,793
Thanks to you.
646
00:52:13,959 --> 00:52:18,751
By the way, that young fellow, Take.
He's improved a lot since I last saw him.
647
00:52:18,834 --> 00:52:20,751
Oh, you think so?
648
00:52:20,834 --> 00:52:25,043
These days, people even come
just to see his skits.
649
00:52:26,459 --> 00:52:29,459
Maybe that punk will become successful.
650
00:52:29,543 --> 00:52:30,668
That's great.
651
00:52:33,334 --> 00:52:34,834
Now, Master.
652
00:52:37,126 --> 00:52:41,293
I kind of heard something
through the grapevine.
653
00:52:45,168 --> 00:52:46,626
It's hard to ask,
654
00:52:48,126 --> 00:52:51,751
but is this theater
in quite serious financial trouble?
655
00:52:53,001 --> 00:52:53,959
What?
656
00:52:57,334 --> 00:52:58,168
That's right.
657
00:52:58,751 --> 00:53:01,376
I mean, it was always in trouble.
658
00:53:03,959 --> 00:53:09,376
The thing is, one of my disciples
is running a company,
659
00:53:10,209 --> 00:53:15,209
and he says he can afford
to hire one person. What do you think?
660
00:53:20,918 --> 00:53:22,251
What do you mean?
661
00:53:23,001 --> 00:53:26,918
Are you telling me
to retire from the stage?
662
00:53:28,334 --> 00:53:30,001
You know it, Master.
663
00:53:30,959 --> 00:53:32,376
It's outdated.
664
00:53:33,334 --> 00:53:37,459
France-za and Asakusa
are losing its people.
665
00:53:38,043 --> 00:53:40,459
It's time to sell this place or close it--
666
00:53:40,543 --> 00:53:41,418
Shut up!
667
00:53:42,626 --> 00:53:44,459
It's outdated?
668
00:53:45,001 --> 00:53:46,459
Whose fault is that?!
669
00:53:46,959 --> 00:53:49,918
You fools abandoned Asakusa
and fawn over TV people.
670
00:53:50,001 --> 00:53:53,918
Master, I owe you a lot,
so I just wanted to help you--
671
00:53:54,001 --> 00:53:57,876
You come to see me after a long time
and start talking nonsense?
672
00:53:57,959 --> 00:53:59,168
Leave, you bastard!
673
00:54:00,626 --> 00:54:02,543
-Master--
-I said leave!
674
00:54:07,834 --> 00:54:11,709
It doesn't have to be now.
Please think about it.
675
00:54:21,501 --> 00:54:23,626
It's good to be number one.
676
00:54:23,709 --> 00:54:26,793
Even if you're so-so smart
and go to a so-so college,
677
00:54:26,876 --> 00:54:29,126
you'll end up becoming a so-so teacher.
678
00:54:29,209 --> 00:54:30,626
You making a fool of me?
679
00:54:32,126 --> 00:54:32,959
How was it?
680
00:54:33,876 --> 00:54:34,959
What?
681
00:54:35,834 --> 00:54:38,001
I don't know anything about skits.
682
00:54:38,084 --> 00:54:40,626
Give us your honest opinion.
683
00:54:43,293 --> 00:54:45,126
The first half was funnier.
684
00:54:45,209 --> 00:54:49,543
Yeah, you're right.
It becomes dull halfway through.
685
00:55:01,501 --> 00:55:02,334
What is it?
686
00:55:03,459 --> 00:55:05,459
It's nothing.
687
00:55:08,793 --> 00:55:10,168
Well…
688
00:55:12,209 --> 00:55:16,043
Even stars like Kiyoshi Atsumi
and Kinichi Hagimoto
689
00:55:17,168 --> 00:55:18,834
stood on this stage, right?
690
00:55:20,626 --> 00:55:26,209
That means they were probably
practicing like this right here.
691
00:55:28,334 --> 00:55:31,418
When I think about it,
it's kind of amazing.
692
00:55:33,959 --> 00:55:38,209
Take, do you really think
you can be like Kin-chan?
693
00:55:38,293 --> 00:55:40,459
I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't.
694
00:55:45,959 --> 00:55:49,376
-Why don't you sing, Chiharu?
-What?
695
00:55:49,959 --> 00:55:53,001
I've been thinking about it.
You're a good singer.
696
00:55:53,084 --> 00:55:56,376
In between strips, if we can do skits,
why not singing?
697
00:55:57,168 --> 00:55:58,709
I don't sing anymore…
698
00:55:59,293 --> 00:56:01,418
You're good enough to get paid.
699
00:56:02,751 --> 00:56:04,459
Inoue can play the guitar.
700
00:56:04,543 --> 00:56:05,959
-Right?
-What?
701
00:56:06,043 --> 00:56:07,751
-The guitar?
-Yeah.
702
00:56:08,251 --> 00:56:10,668
Hey, Take, I've fixed this…
703
00:56:13,876 --> 00:56:16,709
I'll talk to Master tomorrow. Okay?
704
00:56:16,793 --> 00:56:19,001
This part, "It'll stain the wall"…
705
00:56:21,126 --> 00:56:23,126
Then, "What brand do you smoke?"
706
00:56:23,626 --> 00:56:26,459
"Dad, give me a drink…"
707
00:56:27,709 --> 00:56:28,793
Okay.
708
00:56:28,876 --> 00:56:29,876
How about it?
709
00:56:31,334 --> 00:56:33,626
-Yeah, and then here we can…
-Yeah.
710
00:56:33,709 --> 00:56:38,043
Next Wednesday, someone became unavailable
so I think Chiharu can fill in.
711
00:56:38,126 --> 00:56:42,709
We have to fill
that 15-minute slot anyway.
712
00:56:43,334 --> 00:56:45,709
Well, I think she's a good singer…
713
00:56:48,043 --> 00:56:49,668
Singing?
714
00:56:50,543 --> 00:56:51,751
Well, I don't mind…
715
00:56:51,834 --> 00:56:53,043
Really?
716
00:56:53,626 --> 00:56:55,376
-But, Take--
-Chiharu!
717
00:56:56,459 --> 00:56:57,543
He said yes.
718
00:56:59,751 --> 00:57:01,001
Are you sure?
719
00:57:02,376 --> 00:57:03,209
Yeah.
720
00:57:05,251 --> 00:57:06,959
Thank you very much!
721
00:57:07,043 --> 00:57:09,793
Next Wednesday I'm gonna be the emcee,
722
00:57:09,876 --> 00:57:13,251
and I'll introduce you, like boom…
723
00:57:22,584 --> 00:57:25,918
-Inoue, I'm counting on you.
-Yeah.
724
00:57:26,834 --> 00:57:28,126
NERVES
725
00:57:34,251 --> 00:57:37,001
What? I didn't know you had a cute side.
726
00:57:37,084 --> 00:57:38,293
Shut up.
727
00:57:38,376 --> 00:57:39,209
Write "whale."
728
00:57:53,751 --> 00:57:54,959
Do your best.
729
00:58:02,543 --> 00:58:05,959
Okay, it's getting exciting in here,
730
00:58:06,043 --> 00:58:13,001
and tonight, we'll present you with
a special singing performance by Chiharu.
731
00:58:13,584 --> 00:58:17,293
All right, give it up for Chiharu.
732
00:58:55,043 --> 00:59:01,126
If Johnny comes, tell him
733
00:59:02,126 --> 00:59:06,876
That I waited two hours for him
734
00:59:08,584 --> 00:59:15,543
And I left rather cheerfully
735
00:59:16,584 --> 00:59:22,834
Tell him while you're serving him a drink
736
00:59:23,834 --> 00:59:30,251
If you're his friend, tell him
737
00:59:30,834 --> 00:59:35,418
Without upsetting him
738
00:59:37,959 --> 00:59:42,834
I'll take the next bus
739
00:59:44,501 --> 00:59:49,251
Doesn't matter if it'll go west or east
740
00:59:52,293 --> 00:59:54,001
I noticed
741
00:59:56,209 --> 00:59:59,209
What a lonely town
742
01:00:00,209 --> 01:00:07,168
This town was
743
01:00:17,334 --> 01:00:18,793
That was great!
744
01:00:32,043 --> 01:00:35,543
I like your singing,
but it's time to lose those clothes!
745
01:00:44,251 --> 01:00:48,043
Johnny says
he wants to see your boobs, too!
746
01:00:48,126 --> 01:00:50,709
-Boobs!
-Boobs, boobs!
747
01:00:58,043 --> 01:01:00,418
Don't be so impatient.
748
01:01:10,793 --> 01:01:12,084
Show us more!
749
01:01:16,334 --> 01:01:17,918
I'll show you more later.
750
01:01:21,209 --> 01:01:23,459
Wait! Hey!
751
01:01:24,626 --> 01:01:27,043
Hey! Hey!
752
01:01:40,043 --> 01:01:40,959
Hey.
753
01:01:41,459 --> 01:01:42,543
It's been a while.
754
01:01:44,084 --> 01:01:45,626
Master's already left.
755
01:01:45,709 --> 01:01:47,084
Oh, that's okay.
756
01:01:47,709 --> 01:01:48,543
Say…
757
01:01:49,668 --> 01:01:50,709
are you hungry?
758
01:01:54,334 --> 01:01:57,543
How have you been doing
since leaving France-za?
759
01:01:58,334 --> 01:02:01,334
Yeah, this has to do with that, but…
760
01:02:03,543 --> 01:02:08,418
Take, do you wanna do manzai with me?
761
01:02:09,501 --> 01:02:10,334
Manzai?
762
01:02:10,918 --> 01:02:13,584
Yeah, how about it?
763
01:02:15,709 --> 01:02:18,418
Well, manzai is going to be a thing now.
764
01:02:19,126 --> 01:02:22,709
All you need is a mic
and you can do it anywhere in Japan.
765
01:02:23,209 --> 01:02:26,876
If things go well,
we can go on TV and make a lot of money,
766
01:02:26,959 --> 01:02:28,459
and drive an imported car.
767
01:02:29,709 --> 01:02:32,668
What's with you?
I'm not interested in manzai.
768
01:02:33,793 --> 01:02:36,209
Since you're quite skillful,
769
01:02:36,793 --> 01:02:39,459
don't you wanna test your abilities
elsewhere?
770
01:02:39,543 --> 01:02:42,043
Elsewhere? What about France-za?
771
01:02:44,668 --> 01:02:46,334
If I leave…
772
01:02:47,501 --> 01:02:51,626
I owe Master a lot,
so I don't wanna say this,
773
01:02:52,584 --> 01:02:56,126
but honestly, I think France-za
is already in trouble.
774
01:02:56,626 --> 01:02:58,418
You can tell by the empty seats.
775
01:03:01,543 --> 01:03:02,959
That's my point.
776
01:03:04,293 --> 01:03:06,626
What will happen to it if I leave now?
777
01:03:08,334 --> 01:03:11,251
Well, I understand your concern,
778
01:03:12,959 --> 01:03:14,709
but what about yourself?
779
01:03:15,209 --> 01:03:18,043
I thought you really wanted to do comedy.
780
01:03:19,668 --> 01:03:23,918
Gee. There's nothing
to take anymore. There!
781
01:03:24,001 --> 01:03:26,334
Yes! Three Lights!
782
01:03:26,418 --> 01:03:29,126
Did you still have it?
Oh, gee. Wait a minute.
783
01:03:29,209 --> 01:03:33,751
Thank you, thank you.
Let's keep playing. Hey, Koi-Koi!
784
01:03:35,918 --> 01:03:37,918
Hey, Take. Change the channel.
785
01:03:38,001 --> 01:03:38,834
-Sure.
-50 yen.
786
01:03:38,918 --> 01:03:41,126
Watching that will suck my luck away.
787
01:03:41,209 --> 01:03:45,876
-Thank you.
-That manzai nonsense is a joke.
788
01:03:45,959 --> 01:03:48,334
-Deal the cards.
-Let's call it a night.
789
01:03:48,418 --> 01:03:53,001
SHOCHIKU ENGEI HALL
790
01:03:53,084 --> 01:03:56,918
-I know I got married a little late.
-Not a little. Really late.
791
01:03:57,001 --> 01:03:59,293
-All I did was work.
-He had no chance.
792
01:03:59,376 --> 01:04:01,834
-But I got married.
-She must've given up.
793
01:04:01,918 --> 01:04:03,043
Shut up!
794
01:04:03,126 --> 01:04:05,251
Like, "Oh, I can't find anyone else!"
795
01:04:05,334 --> 01:04:08,668
It was worth the wait.
We had more than 300 guests.
796
01:04:08,751 --> 01:04:11,501
-Guests?
-Politicians, business leaders, celebs.
797
01:04:11,584 --> 01:04:15,918
Blood clams, geoduck clams,
and even scallops? But it's a shame…
798
01:04:16,001 --> 01:04:19,209
Hey, don't smoke, you fool!
It'll stain the wall!
799
01:04:19,293 --> 01:04:20,918
That's not important!
800
01:04:21,001 --> 01:04:24,293
-This is a rented house.
-No, mister, that's not the point.
801
01:04:24,376 --> 01:04:29,043
-Teacher, the school building's rented?
-Mister, listen. Here's the thing.
802
01:04:29,126 --> 01:04:32,459
Your son may only smoke cigarettes now.
803
01:04:32,543 --> 01:04:36,501
But smoking could lead to shoplifting.
And then, thinner sniffing.
804
01:04:36,584 --> 01:04:41,459
And then, getting locked up.
That's how delinquents escalate.
805
01:04:42,751 --> 01:04:44,668
Take! Take!
806
01:04:46,543 --> 01:04:47,376
Yes?
807
01:04:47,459 --> 01:04:48,751
Have you fed Pippi?
808
01:04:49,751 --> 01:04:50,584
What?
809
01:04:51,584 --> 01:04:54,209
I asked if you've fed the parakeet.
810
01:04:54,918 --> 01:04:56,251
Oh, I'm sorry.
811
01:04:56,334 --> 01:05:01,168
Cut the "I'm sorry" crap!
I always tell you to feed the bird.
812
01:05:01,793 --> 01:05:03,459
I was preparing for the skit.
813
01:05:04,459 --> 01:05:05,501
Skit?
814
01:05:08,751 --> 01:05:12,293
Listen, I've been
wanting to say this for a while.
815
01:05:13,001 --> 01:05:14,501
I think you're confused.
816
01:05:15,293 --> 01:05:16,126
Sachi.
817
01:05:16,209 --> 01:05:20,043
People come to this theater
to see us naked.
818
01:05:20,126 --> 01:05:22,584
To see our boobs.
819
01:05:22,668 --> 01:05:25,001
Not skits or singing.
820
01:05:27,043 --> 01:05:31,334
Your job is to make sure
that we can concentrate on dancing.
821
01:05:31,418 --> 01:05:33,418
Skits are just fillers.
822
01:05:33,501 --> 01:05:35,709
Enough, Sachi.
823
01:05:35,793 --> 01:05:37,209
Take, you're good to go.
824
01:05:41,001 --> 01:05:42,668
Tell me, am I wrong?
825
01:06:32,834 --> 01:06:36,043
DO NOT MASTURBATE
826
01:07:24,876 --> 01:07:26,084
Hello!
827
01:07:30,209 --> 01:07:32,293
Sorry to keep you waiting.
828
01:07:32,959 --> 01:07:34,959
-Your drink?
-I'll have the same.
829
01:07:35,043 --> 01:07:35,876
Okay.
830
01:07:36,376 --> 01:07:37,334
What's wrong?
831
01:07:39,001 --> 01:07:42,501
Well… about that thing.
832
01:07:43,293 --> 01:07:44,334
What thing?
833
01:07:45,751 --> 01:07:47,418
What you said the other day.
834
01:07:48,959 --> 01:07:50,584
About us doing manzai.
835
01:07:53,293 --> 01:07:55,584
What? So…
836
01:08:19,418 --> 01:08:21,959
Hey, Takayama. Let's have a game.
837
01:08:22,043 --> 01:08:24,251
No, I'll pass.
838
01:08:24,334 --> 01:08:28,334
What? How can a disciple turn down
his master's invitation?
839
01:08:28,418 --> 01:08:32,168
Rather, how can a master
take money from his disciple?
840
01:08:33,126 --> 01:08:34,876
You just have to win.
841
01:08:35,543 --> 01:08:36,751
Let's do it.
842
01:08:37,751 --> 01:08:41,459
Here he comes.
Take, you'll accept my challenge, right?
843
01:08:43,126 --> 01:08:46,876
You see?
This is what makes you and him different.
844
01:08:47,668 --> 01:08:50,209
This determination will show onstage.
845
01:08:50,293 --> 01:08:52,918
All right. As usual, 10 yen per point.
846
01:08:55,709 --> 01:08:56,959
I quit.
847
01:08:57,918 --> 01:08:59,084
What?
848
01:09:01,043 --> 01:09:04,126
Would you rather 50 yen per point?
849
01:09:05,293 --> 01:09:09,709
I like that. I accept your challenge,
you bastard. Bring it on!
850
01:09:09,793 --> 01:09:11,459
I'm not talking about that…
851
01:09:15,459 --> 01:09:16,501
What's the matter?
852
01:09:19,126 --> 01:09:20,834
I quit France-za.
853
01:09:26,459 --> 01:09:29,168
Let me quit and compete
in the outside world.
854
01:09:38,001 --> 01:09:39,959
I've decided to do manzai.
855
01:09:45,459 --> 01:09:49,334
I've decided to do manzai with Kiyoshi
who used to perform here.
856
01:09:49,418 --> 01:09:51,334
What are you talking about?!
857
01:09:51,418 --> 01:09:54,626
Now that you can do skits a bit better,
you want out?
858
01:09:54,709 --> 01:09:58,626
What can a fool like you
with half-baked skills do out there?!
859
01:09:59,168 --> 01:10:03,334
And manzai of all things?
What've you learned from me, you bastard?
860
01:10:03,418 --> 01:10:06,668
That crap isn't even entertainment!
861
01:10:06,751 --> 01:10:11,209
Two people, just talking nonsense!
You wanna charge your audience for that?!
862
01:10:12,626 --> 01:10:15,459
There's hardly even an audience
to charge here.
863
01:10:16,709 --> 01:10:18,126
What did you say?!
864
01:10:18,209 --> 01:10:20,334
I can't get on TV if I stay here.
865
01:10:24,501 --> 01:10:28,334
You can't do this to Master
who's been so good to you.
866
01:10:31,043 --> 01:10:33,709
Then, should I just die miserably here?
867
01:10:35,876 --> 01:10:36,918
What?
868
01:10:37,001 --> 01:10:40,251
What's the point in making people
who seek nudity laugh?
869
01:10:41,168 --> 01:10:44,668
Even if I get a big laugh here,
it won't take me anywhere!
870
01:10:45,543 --> 01:10:47,459
What's gotten into you, Take?
871
01:10:51,209 --> 01:10:52,126
Hey.
872
01:10:54,959 --> 01:10:57,543
You're really making me laugh, Take.
873
01:10:58,876 --> 01:11:02,084
When did you learn to say
such funny stuff, you bastard?
874
01:11:08,418 --> 01:11:10,584
You trained me.
875
01:11:25,418 --> 01:11:26,376
Hey.
876
01:11:27,668 --> 01:11:28,876
Hey, Take!
877
01:11:35,418 --> 01:11:36,376
Take!
878
01:11:46,668 --> 01:11:47,668
I'm sorry.
879
01:11:56,334 --> 01:11:57,334
That hurts.
880
01:12:04,876 --> 01:12:06,293
Don't ever come back.
881
01:12:08,626 --> 01:12:10,043
Be a star at any cost.
882
01:12:11,834 --> 01:12:13,501
Be like Kin-chan.
883
01:12:14,584 --> 01:12:15,501
Got it?
884
01:12:18,376 --> 01:12:19,293
Mm-hm.
885
01:12:23,084 --> 01:12:24,293
If I become a star…
886
01:12:27,668 --> 01:12:28,834
You can't bang me.
887
01:12:34,459 --> 01:12:35,834
Okay, just go.
888
01:12:37,834 --> 01:12:40,001
Go, go, just go.
889
01:12:58,834 --> 01:13:01,834
There's no way we can bang like this.
890
01:13:10,001 --> 01:13:10,918
Bang?
891
01:13:12,168 --> 01:13:14,751
Whoa, wait a minute. What?
892
01:13:20,251 --> 01:13:21,293
I…
893
01:13:23,084 --> 01:13:27,293
broke free from my old life
not just once but twice.
894
01:13:30,584 --> 01:13:34,084
A guy like that must not
do things half-heartedly, you fool.
895
01:13:37,918 --> 01:13:42,918
Take? What do you mean by bang?
What are you talking about?
896
01:13:43,001 --> 01:13:44,709
Shut up and go to sleep.
897
01:13:45,709 --> 01:13:48,459
-But you said bang…
-Shut up.
898
01:13:49,918 --> 01:13:51,668
I can't help feeling uneasy.
899
01:13:52,959 --> 01:13:55,584
I wanna do manzai
that I've never seen before.
900
01:13:56,959 --> 01:13:57,959
What do you mean?
901
01:13:58,043 --> 01:14:01,334
We're gonna destroy traditional manzai.
902
01:14:02,168 --> 01:14:06,334
First of all, having "Shokakuya"
before our name is so old-fashioned.
903
01:14:06,418 --> 01:14:10,543
What? Then, do you wanna change our name?
904
01:14:10,626 --> 01:14:15,543
There was an American comedian named
Lenny Bruce. He took drugs and died young.
905
01:14:15,626 --> 01:14:18,543
I used to work part-time at a jazz cafe.
906
01:14:19,126 --> 01:14:21,209
Each song has its own tempo.
907
01:14:22,043 --> 01:14:26,834
And this Lenny Bruce guy recklessly talked
about racism and criticized religion.
908
01:14:27,584 --> 01:14:29,751
I wanna do something like that.
909
01:14:29,834 --> 01:14:33,334
There are eight-beat rhythms
and four-beat rhythms…
910
01:14:33,959 --> 01:14:36,668
Then, there are two of us so…
911
01:14:38,501 --> 01:14:39,834
Two Beat it is.
912
01:14:40,418 --> 01:14:43,043
TWO BEAT
913
01:14:44,418 --> 01:14:45,376
Hello.
914
01:14:45,459 --> 01:14:47,584
We're Two Beat.
915
01:14:47,668 --> 01:14:50,418
Hey Granny, don't die during our manzai.
916
01:14:50,501 --> 01:14:51,793
What are you saying?
917
01:15:00,376 --> 01:15:02,168
That's too much. Here you go.
918
01:15:02,251 --> 01:15:03,876
-Take it.
-Thank you.
919
01:15:03,959 --> 01:15:05,918
Okay, here you go.
920
01:15:06,001 --> 01:15:07,293
Count them.
921
01:15:07,376 --> 01:15:09,293
Thank you as always.
922
01:15:14,209 --> 01:15:15,626
Pardon me.
923
01:15:17,126 --> 01:15:18,334
Here is your tea.
924
01:15:19,001 --> 01:15:22,709
That guy, Take,
who used to perform at France-za…
925
01:15:23,751 --> 01:15:27,751
I heard he teamed up with Kiyoshi
and they're doing well.
926
01:15:28,293 --> 01:15:30,084
I heard so, too.
927
01:15:31,918 --> 01:15:36,584
They say that now even comedians
are going out of their way to watch them.
928
01:15:36,668 --> 01:15:38,543
It's quite impressive.
929
01:15:38,626 --> 01:15:43,709
Oh, yeah? They're that popular now?
930
01:15:45,709 --> 01:15:48,126
I've counted it all.
931
01:15:49,834 --> 01:15:53,709
Then sign your name here.
Just a formality.
932
01:16:00,334 --> 01:16:02,668
PROMISSORY NOTE
300,000 YEN
933
01:16:02,751 --> 01:16:07,084
So, how long are you two gonna continue?
934
01:16:07,168 --> 01:16:08,084
What?
935
01:16:08,168 --> 01:16:09,459
France-za.
936
01:16:10,834 --> 01:16:12,626
It's in deep trouble, right?
937
01:16:13,626 --> 01:16:15,293
Just close it.
938
01:16:17,043 --> 01:16:19,459
How long are you gonna keep doing this?
939
01:16:24,209 --> 01:16:26,418
The times have changed.
940
01:16:28,168 --> 01:16:29,626
Tell Fukami so.
941
01:16:31,709 --> 01:16:33,168
Here you go.
942
01:16:36,834 --> 01:16:38,418
Thank you very much.
943
01:16:46,668 --> 01:16:49,626
The matinee performance has been canceled.
944
01:16:50,293 --> 01:16:51,668
What?
945
01:16:53,043 --> 01:16:57,043
You should've told us sooner.
We were getting ready for it.
946
01:16:59,168 --> 01:17:02,959
Shut up. Rather than complain,
bring people in.
947
01:17:06,043 --> 01:17:08,501
What should we do? Go out to eat?
948
01:17:08,584 --> 01:17:09,793
No…
949
01:17:26,876 --> 01:17:30,793
TWO BEAT
950
01:17:30,876 --> 01:17:32,876
The law will be changed next year.
951
01:17:32,959 --> 01:17:37,418
-Anyone over 80 will be put to death.
-How could you! That's nonsense!
952
01:17:37,501 --> 01:17:40,793
-But I'm kind to the elderly.
-Oh, are you?
953
01:17:40,876 --> 01:17:43,834
I am. A grandma asked
for directions the other day.
954
01:17:43,918 --> 01:17:45,918
-I told her a shortcut.
-Did you?
955
01:17:46,001 --> 01:17:48,543
-She happily walked onto the highway.
-No!
956
01:17:49,543 --> 01:17:52,751
-She might get hit by a car!
-So many accidents lately.
957
01:17:52,834 --> 01:17:55,459
-So many cars.
-Remember traffic slogans.
958
01:17:55,543 --> 01:17:58,084
-There are lots.
-"Caution does no harm."
959
01:17:58,168 --> 01:18:02,126
-"Jump in front of cars, happy kids!"
-Hey! There's no such slogan!
960
01:18:02,209 --> 01:18:04,459
"Let's run the red light together."
961
01:18:04,543 --> 01:18:06,834
No! You can't run it!
962
01:18:06,918 --> 01:18:09,543
And "A grandma buys tampons to show off."
963
01:18:09,626 --> 01:18:11,209
-That's irrelevant!
-So many.
964
01:18:11,293 --> 01:18:12,293
That's unrelated!
965
01:18:12,376 --> 01:18:14,959
"No worries. The grandma has no future."
966
01:18:15,043 --> 01:18:17,876
Stop! Why do you
always say such cruel things?
967
01:18:17,959 --> 01:18:20,168
"Beware! Ugly girls try to get groped."
968
01:18:20,251 --> 01:18:23,084
That makes no sense.
That's not a traffic slogan!
969
01:18:23,168 --> 01:18:25,793
Like you'd know.
Yamagata doesn't have any.
970
01:18:25,876 --> 01:18:27,501
Of course we have them.
971
01:18:27,584 --> 01:18:29,626
-He's from Yamagata.
-Yes, I am.
972
01:18:29,709 --> 01:18:33,168
-Before Tokyo, he'd never seen a person.
-Hey!
973
01:18:33,251 --> 01:18:36,251
-His dad was a cannibal until last year.
-A cannibal?
974
01:18:36,334 --> 01:18:38,543
When a plane flies by, they worship it.
975
01:18:38,626 --> 01:18:41,876
-No we don't!
-They call any plane a B-29!
976
01:18:41,959 --> 01:18:43,418
We don't say that!
977
01:18:46,543 --> 01:18:48,459
I am Tsukikage Musashi…
978
01:18:48,543 --> 01:18:50,626
It's a shame… You fool!
979
01:18:51,126 --> 01:18:53,043
-You cut me too soon!
-I'm sorry.
980
01:18:53,126 --> 01:18:56,251
I was giving a cool speech.
Wait until I finish.
981
01:18:56,334 --> 01:18:57,168
I'm sorry.
982
01:18:57,751 --> 01:19:01,459
I am the third generation,
Tsukikage Musashi!
983
01:19:01,543 --> 01:19:04,376
-Mari, why don't you drink, too?
-Oh, thank you.
984
01:19:04,459 --> 01:19:06,959
You've got to drink. There.
985
01:19:07,043 --> 01:19:08,793
Yeah, that's it.
986
01:19:12,126 --> 01:19:14,459
What a woman!
987
01:19:29,168 --> 01:19:31,459
Hi, it's me.
988
01:19:35,126 --> 01:19:36,918
I'm sorry to bother you.
989
01:19:48,793 --> 01:19:51,001
Mari, could you take these?
990
01:19:53,084 --> 01:19:54,251
Okay.
991
01:19:57,459 --> 01:20:00,084
Hello. Sorry to keep you waiting!
992
01:20:01,001 --> 01:20:04,959
-Were you waiting for me?
-I was waiting for you!
993
01:20:05,043 --> 01:20:06,501
Hey now, hold on.
994
01:20:06,584 --> 01:20:08,043
Here.
995
01:20:08,126 --> 01:20:09,626
-Me?
-I'll pour for you.
996
01:20:09,709 --> 01:20:11,501
All right…
997
01:20:55,584 --> 01:20:57,668
-Mr. Kawamura.
-Yes, yes.
998
01:20:58,168 --> 01:20:59,626
-Yes?
-This is the man.
999
01:20:59,709 --> 01:21:03,126
Oh, then, come here. Right here.
1000
01:21:04,001 --> 01:21:05,168
Um…
1001
01:21:05,251 --> 01:21:06,918
-Nice to meet you.
-Yeah.
1002
01:21:07,001 --> 01:21:10,626
This one and this one. Put them here.
1003
01:21:10,709 --> 01:21:13,626
Then, a screw. Like this…
1004
01:21:14,459 --> 01:21:15,501
And do this…
1005
01:21:30,334 --> 01:21:32,084
Mari?!
1006
01:21:33,751 --> 01:21:34,584
Mari!
1007
01:21:34,668 --> 01:21:35,668
Are you okay?!
1008
01:21:37,584 --> 01:21:40,209
I have a bad toothache.
1009
01:21:40,709 --> 01:21:41,876
Do you brush?
1010
01:21:45,251 --> 01:21:47,376
Hey, Mr. Fukami.
1011
01:21:48,334 --> 01:21:50,418
Is it true you were a comedian?
1012
01:21:51,168 --> 01:21:52,209
Yes, kind of.
1013
01:21:52,293 --> 01:21:54,168
-You were a comedian?
-He was.
1014
01:21:54,251 --> 01:21:55,793
-He was.
-No way!
1015
01:21:55,876 --> 01:21:57,376
Can you do something now?
1016
01:21:57,876 --> 01:21:58,918
A comedian, right?
1017
01:21:59,001 --> 01:22:01,084
That means you can do something now.
1018
01:22:01,168 --> 01:22:04,709
They do magic tricks
and rakugo, right? Show us.
1019
01:22:04,793 --> 01:22:07,043
-Please. Do it, Mr. Fukami.
-Mr. Fukami.
1020
01:22:07,126 --> 01:22:09,293
-Do it. Show us.
-I wanna see it now.
1021
01:22:09,376 --> 01:22:11,668
-Okay, let's do it!
-All right!
1022
01:22:12,376 --> 01:22:13,668
Show us a good one.
1023
01:22:17,043 --> 01:22:18,876
There are no tricks or gimmicks.
1024
01:22:20,709 --> 01:22:22,168
Prepare to be mystified…
1025
01:22:29,126 --> 01:22:31,293
My fingers are gone.
1026
01:22:40,168 --> 01:22:41,168
Oh, Mr. Fukami.
1027
01:22:41,751 --> 01:22:43,793
-Yes?
-There's a phone call for you.
1028
01:22:43,876 --> 01:22:44,709
For me?
1029
01:22:46,251 --> 01:22:47,251
I'm Kuroda.
1030
01:22:47,334 --> 01:22:48,834
TOKYO 12 CHANNEL TV
DIRECTOR
1031
01:22:52,459 --> 01:22:54,793
-Is it a TV job?
-Yes.
1032
01:22:55,459 --> 01:22:58,751
I know it's next Friday,
but we suddenly have an opening.
1033
01:23:00,876 --> 01:23:01,709
So?
1034
01:23:01,793 --> 01:23:04,668
Well, we have to do manzai here…
1035
01:23:04,751 --> 01:23:08,459
We can do it. Of course.
We'll figure something out.
1036
01:23:09,293 --> 01:23:10,751
-You sure?
-Yes!
1037
01:23:12,626 --> 01:23:14,334
What time should we be there?
1038
01:23:17,959 --> 01:23:20,543
Thank you for everything.
1039
01:23:20,626 --> 01:23:22,459
Oh, I was surprised.
1040
01:23:22,543 --> 01:23:25,751
-You know Mr. Taniguchi's wife, right?
-Yeah.
1041
01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:29,834
She happened to be there and called me.
1042
01:23:30,459 --> 01:23:31,709
I see.
1043
01:23:31,793 --> 01:23:36,209
Anyway, eat something good with this.
1044
01:23:36,293 --> 01:23:39,793
That's okay, Master.
You don't have to do that.
1045
01:23:41,626 --> 01:23:43,293
I mean it. Don't worry.
1046
01:23:44,876 --> 01:23:46,334
-Thank you.
-All right.
1047
01:23:46,418 --> 01:23:48,626
-Take care of Mari.
-Yeah.
1048
01:23:49,418 --> 01:23:50,751
Thank you very much.
1049
01:23:50,834 --> 01:23:54,751
No, you don't need to get up.
Don't push yourself.
1050
01:23:54,834 --> 01:23:56,418
-Yes.
-See you.
1051
01:23:58,293 --> 01:23:59,293
Thank you.
1052
01:24:03,834 --> 01:24:05,876
What? Do you wanna get up?
1053
01:24:05,959 --> 01:24:07,168
All right.
1054
01:24:07,959 --> 01:24:09,084
Hold on a sec.
1055
01:24:13,668 --> 01:24:15,376
Do you want some tea?
1056
01:24:27,418 --> 01:24:29,418
-Here.
-Thanks.
1057
01:24:40,501 --> 01:24:45,959
I'm sorry.
I guess I made you push yourself.
1058
01:24:48,876 --> 01:24:53,668
But, actually, I got a job.
1059
01:24:57,626 --> 01:25:01,209
Well, that bastard Azuhachi,
1060
01:25:01,293 --> 01:25:07,168
begged me to take it
because they were really short-handed.
1061
01:25:07,668 --> 01:25:12,168
And I can't ignore
when my disciple is in trouble, right?
1062
01:25:12,959 --> 01:25:14,293
I didn't have a choice.
1063
01:25:15,376 --> 01:25:17,001
You'll do it again, right?
1064
01:25:18,418 --> 01:25:19,334
What?
1065
01:25:19,918 --> 01:25:22,501
You belong onstage.
1066
01:25:25,834 --> 01:25:28,918
I like you when you're onstage.
1067
01:25:32,376 --> 01:25:35,584
Does that mean you don't like me offstage?
1068
01:25:36,543 --> 01:25:38,876
What's there to like about you offstage?
1069
01:25:42,001 --> 01:25:43,209
That's true.
1070
01:25:44,543 --> 01:25:48,126
You're so sexy onstage.
1071
01:25:49,043 --> 01:25:51,793
The way you stand and the way you talk…
1072
01:25:51,876 --> 01:25:56,584
It's like, "This is Fukami of Asakusa."
1073
01:25:58,834 --> 01:26:00,751
Why are you telling me this now?
1074
01:26:01,334 --> 01:26:02,793
Did you hit your head?
1075
01:26:05,584 --> 01:26:08,459
I'll take back France-za for you.
1076
01:26:09,834 --> 01:26:10,668
What?
1077
01:26:11,376 --> 01:26:15,626
It doesn't have to be France-za,
somewhere smaller is fine.
1078
01:26:15,709 --> 01:26:19,209
I really wanna see you onstage.
1079
01:26:19,959 --> 01:26:20,876
Okay?
1080
01:26:29,168 --> 01:26:32,626
To tell you the truth,
I have an idea for a new skit.
1081
01:26:33,251 --> 01:26:34,293
Really?
1082
01:26:35,084 --> 01:26:38,793
I'm thinking about bringing a dog onstage.
1083
01:26:39,334 --> 01:26:42,126
You mean an actual dog?
1084
01:26:42,209 --> 01:26:43,668
That's right.
1085
01:26:43,751 --> 01:26:46,126
-You know, like a police dog.
-Mm-hm.
1086
01:26:46,959 --> 01:26:49,626
First, a lingerie thief enters
from stage left.
1087
01:26:49,709 --> 01:26:50,959
Gee.
1088
01:26:51,043 --> 01:26:54,084
Saying, "What a haul!"
1089
01:26:54,168 --> 01:26:56,334
Then, the dog starts barking.
1090
01:26:56,418 --> 01:26:57,709
Woof, woof, woof!
1091
01:26:57,793 --> 01:26:59,334
He goes, "What happened?"
1092
01:26:59,418 --> 01:27:02,001
Why did you stop me? Let me die, you fool!
1093
01:27:02,084 --> 01:27:04,459
-I'll die if you don't let me die!
-What?
1094
01:27:04,543 --> 01:27:06,209
-He talked nonsense.
-Yeah.
1095
01:27:06,293 --> 01:27:08,918
And the other day,
when I visited my neighbor,
1096
01:27:09,001 --> 01:27:11,376
their son was hanging himself
with a gas pipe.
1097
01:27:11,459 --> 01:27:13,668
-I stopped him and told him…
-Oh, good!
1098
01:27:13,751 --> 01:27:15,459
-"Put it in your mouth."
-No.
1099
01:27:15,543 --> 01:27:18,209
-Use gas properly!
-Except for that occasion!
1100
01:27:18,293 --> 01:27:20,209
-People are odd these days.
-Yeah.
1101
01:27:20,293 --> 01:27:23,001
-They concentrate too much on anything.
-True.
1102
01:27:25,918 --> 01:27:27,209
What are you doing?
1103
01:27:28,084 --> 01:27:30,626
-Yes?
-This is not a variety hall.
1104
01:27:30,709 --> 01:27:33,626
This is TV, okay? A live TV show.
1105
01:27:34,751 --> 01:27:38,001
You can't make fun of
ugly girls or suicide.
1106
01:27:39,959 --> 01:27:43,043
Don't you have anything else
that's suitable for TV?
1107
01:27:44,543 --> 01:27:46,168
You have plenty of time.
1108
01:27:47,293 --> 01:27:48,668
Come up with something.
1109
01:27:51,209 --> 01:27:52,168
Okay.
1110
01:27:55,126 --> 01:27:56,334
How about…
1111
01:27:57,793 --> 01:28:00,418
changing this part to the skiing one?
1112
01:28:00,501 --> 01:28:06,001
Oh, but he said we shouldn't
talk about ugly girls, either.
1113
01:28:12,626 --> 01:28:17,376
Then, change the first part
to the metal bat one?
1114
01:28:17,459 --> 01:28:18,876
Oh, that one.
1115
01:28:20,084 --> 01:28:23,709
But we can't expect
a big laugh with that one.
1116
01:28:28,376 --> 01:28:29,793
-Finely chop it.
-I see.
1117
01:28:30,334 --> 01:28:31,543
-Pow!
-What?
1118
01:28:31,626 --> 01:28:32,626
What was that?
1119
01:28:32,709 --> 01:28:34,168
-The final chop!
-Enough!
1120
01:28:34,751 --> 01:28:35,751
Thank you!
1121
01:28:39,584 --> 01:28:43,834
All right, that was Comedy Number One.
They were both funny, right?
1122
01:28:43,918 --> 01:28:47,168
Now, will they be able to keep winning?
1123
01:28:47,251 --> 01:28:49,126
We'll be right back.
1124
01:28:50,709 --> 01:28:52,793
Okay! We're in a commercial break!
1125
01:28:52,876 --> 01:28:56,751
Give it up for Comedy Number One.
Thank you, guys.
1126
01:28:59,584 --> 01:29:02,668
How are you all doing?
Not too tired from laughing?
1127
01:29:03,793 --> 01:29:09,626
If you want to go to the bathroom
or fix your makeup, please do so now.
1128
01:29:09,709 --> 01:29:13,584
There'll be many more wonderful comedians…
1129
01:29:13,668 --> 01:29:18,376
It's gonna be fine.
It's no different from variety halls.
1130
01:29:34,501 --> 01:29:37,543
Many more wonderful comedians…
1131
01:29:45,043 --> 01:29:46,959
What've you learned from me, you bastard?
1132
01:29:49,001 --> 01:29:49,834
Don't ever come back.
1133
01:29:51,959 --> 01:29:53,168
Don't be laughed at.
1134
01:29:57,918 --> 01:29:59,209
Make them laugh.
1135
01:30:04,876 --> 01:30:06,293
Five seconds to go!
1136
01:30:06,918 --> 01:30:08,126
-Four! Three!
-Take?
1137
01:30:09,584 --> 01:30:10,626
I won't do it.
1138
01:30:11,626 --> 01:30:12,918
You won't do what?
1139
01:30:13,001 --> 01:30:15,084
We'll do our jokes as they are.
1140
01:30:15,834 --> 01:30:16,959
All of them.
1141
01:30:17,709 --> 01:30:18,709
No, but…
1142
01:30:18,793 --> 01:30:23,043
Okay, let's bring on
this week's challenger.
1143
01:30:23,626 --> 01:30:28,418
Up-and-comers from Asakusa, Two Beat!
Come on out!
1144
01:31:30,251 --> 01:31:32,084
{\an8}1981
1145
01:31:32,168 --> 01:31:33,459
{\an8}Comaneci!
1146
01:31:33,543 --> 01:31:35,543
{\an8}Comaneci! Comaneci!
1147
01:31:35,626 --> 01:31:37,668
-Comaneci!
-Satoshi!
1148
01:31:37,751 --> 01:31:40,126
-Let's go.
-Oh, Mom!
1149
01:31:40,209 --> 01:31:42,584
Takeshi was here just now!
1150
01:31:42,668 --> 01:31:44,751
Which Takeshi are you talking about?
1151
01:31:44,834 --> 01:31:47,709
Beat Takeshi! He was just here!
1152
01:31:48,293 --> 01:31:52,376
Don't be ridiculous! Let's go home.
Your dad is waiting for us.
1153
01:31:53,376 --> 01:31:56,793
It's true. See?
He signed an autograph for me.
1154
01:32:00,001 --> 01:32:03,209
Hey, Mom, what does this kanji mean?
1155
01:32:13,001 --> 01:32:13,959
This kanji…
1156
01:32:18,584 --> 01:32:20,293
It means "whale."
1157
01:32:20,376 --> 01:32:21,709
I see.
1158
01:32:25,626 --> 01:32:27,459
Let's go home for dinner.
1159
01:32:31,626 --> 01:32:32,834
Let's sing something.
1160
01:32:32,918 --> 01:32:34,834
Sure. What do you wanna sing?
1161
01:32:36,043 --> 01:32:37,418
-How about…
-Hm?
1162
01:32:37,918 --> 01:32:41,709
A bear cub watched a game of hide-and-seek
1163
01:32:41,793 --> 01:32:45,543
A child who showed their bottom
Won the first prize
1164
01:32:45,626 --> 01:32:49,501
The sun is going down, so see you tomorrow
1165
01:32:49,584 --> 01:32:52,209
See you tomorrow
1166
01:32:59,543 --> 01:33:01,459
-Hello!
-Hi.
1167
01:33:05,793 --> 01:33:08,376
-I'll have the usual.
-Okay. Eggs and chives.
1168
01:33:08,459 --> 01:33:09,293
Got it.
1169
01:33:11,584 --> 01:33:15,376
Hey, why are you watching baseball, ma'am?
The Manzai is on today.
1170
01:33:15,459 --> 01:33:16,959
It's a home run!
1171
01:33:19,876 --> 01:33:21,668
If we're bad, we'll go to hell.
1172
01:33:21,751 --> 01:33:23,959
Oh, yes! It's Two Beat.
1173
01:33:24,043 --> 01:33:27,168
They're quite successful.
1174
01:33:27,751 --> 01:33:32,001
Now it kind of feels strange to think
that they used to be in Asakusa.
1175
01:33:32,543 --> 01:33:35,126
I wanna watch baseball.
1176
01:33:35,209 --> 01:33:38,418
What are you talking about?
You don't even like base…
1177
01:33:39,959 --> 01:33:41,876
Oh, the Giants are playing today.
1178
01:33:41,959 --> 01:33:43,043
Don't touch it!
1179
01:33:45,376 --> 01:33:47,459
Don't touch it…
1180
01:33:47,543 --> 01:33:50,084
-What's in the second room?
-It's on ice.
1181
01:33:50,168 --> 01:33:53,251
Everyone steps on it and goes,
"It's cold, it's cold!"
1182
01:33:53,334 --> 01:33:55,834
-You'll get frostbite.
-I pleaded for mercy.
1183
01:33:55,918 --> 01:33:58,001
-Yeah.
-He said, "This is the last."
1184
01:33:58,084 --> 01:34:00,084
-The third room.
-When I opened it…
1185
01:34:00,168 --> 01:34:03,543
Everyone was soaking in poop
up to their necks like this.
1186
01:34:03,626 --> 01:34:04,459
In poop?!
1187
01:34:04,543 --> 01:34:05,626
-And smoking.
-Smoking?
1188
01:34:05,709 --> 01:34:09,959
Well, but you know, Master.
They're getting a little rough.
1189
01:34:10,043 --> 01:34:13,834
Their performances have been getting rough
since they went on TV.
1190
01:34:14,501 --> 01:34:19,501
Entertainers must have some skills
to entertain people.
1191
01:34:19,584 --> 01:34:21,626
-When I think about it--
-Hey.
1192
01:34:25,126 --> 01:34:27,834
What are you blabbering about,
you bastard?
1193
01:34:27,918 --> 01:34:28,876
What?
1194
01:34:31,709 --> 01:34:34,459
Don't talk like you know everything!
1195
01:34:35,376 --> 01:34:38,084
What do you know about them, you fool?!
1196
01:34:38,751 --> 01:34:40,209
They don't have skills?
1197
01:34:40,918 --> 01:34:43,543
Do you have a problem with my disciples?!
1198
01:34:43,626 --> 01:34:45,168
-You bastard!
-What?!
1199
01:34:48,418 --> 01:34:50,293
Are you okay, Master? I'm sorry.
1200
01:34:50,376 --> 01:34:52,376
What are you doing?!
1201
01:34:52,459 --> 01:34:53,793
-Because…
-Gee!
1202
01:34:53,876 --> 01:34:56,751
Just go home! Go, go!
1203
01:34:56,834 --> 01:34:58,043
Hey, honey, look!
1204
01:34:58,126 --> 01:35:01,084
-Whose disciples do you think they are?
-Some ice!
1205
01:35:01,168 --> 01:35:03,834
And bring me the first aid kit, too!
1206
01:35:03,918 --> 01:35:06,209
-It's upstairs!
-Then I'll go get it!
1207
01:35:06,293 --> 01:35:10,501
The 11th Japan Broadcasting
Entertainment Awards grand prize goes to…
1208
01:35:11,168 --> 01:35:12,626
Two Beat!
1209
01:35:14,001 --> 01:35:15,459
Congratulations!
1210
01:35:16,459 --> 01:35:18,084
Thank you very much!
1211
01:35:18,168 --> 01:35:19,043
Thank you!
1212
01:35:19,126 --> 01:35:22,293
Now, they'll receive the prize money
and the trophy!
1213
01:35:22,376 --> 01:35:24,293
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
1214
01:35:24,376 --> 01:35:25,751
Unbelievable!
1215
01:35:27,293 --> 01:35:28,668
What are you doing?!
1216
01:35:28,751 --> 01:35:30,751
-Can't I take her home?
-No!
1217
01:35:30,834 --> 01:35:32,793
You take the trophy home!
1218
01:35:44,126 --> 01:35:45,584
-Mister.
-Yes?
1219
01:35:45,668 --> 01:35:48,209
Could you take me to Asakusa, instead?
1220
01:36:30,793 --> 01:36:32,834
It's not safe to leave it unlocked.
1221
01:36:48,293 --> 01:36:50,459
What are you doing here, you bastard?
1222
01:36:54,043 --> 01:36:56,459
I just happened to be in the neighborhood.
1223
01:36:58,334 --> 01:37:00,501
If you're coming, at least call me.
1224
01:37:02,376 --> 01:37:03,501
I'm sorry.
1225
01:37:18,459 --> 01:37:22,001
Do you wanna eat something?
Are you hungry?
1226
01:37:22,084 --> 01:37:24,584
No, I'm fine.
1227
01:37:25,168 --> 01:37:27,834
There's a ramen place
that delivers right away.
1228
01:37:28,793 --> 01:37:31,626
No, I'm really not hungry.
1229
01:37:41,459 --> 01:37:42,293
Master.
1230
01:37:43,918 --> 01:37:44,918
Take this.
1231
01:37:45,626 --> 01:37:49,584
{\an8}PRIZE MONEY
1232
01:37:55,293 --> 01:37:56,459
What's this?
1233
01:37:56,543 --> 01:37:57,918
It is…
1234
01:37:59,459 --> 01:38:01,126
your allowance.
1235
01:38:04,418 --> 01:38:06,084
Are you messing with me?
1236
01:38:08,501 --> 01:38:10,376
How could I possibly accept it?
1237
01:38:37,043 --> 01:38:38,459
Gee.
1238
01:38:40,084 --> 01:38:43,584
I've never heard of
a disciple giving his master
1239
01:38:44,251 --> 01:38:46,126
an allowance, you fool!
1240
01:38:49,293 --> 01:38:50,626
One, two, three…
1241
01:38:50,709 --> 01:38:52,668
You're counting them!
1242
01:38:53,793 --> 01:38:55,834
Stop counting, you shitty old man!
1243
01:38:55,918 --> 01:38:58,418
-Who you calling that, you fool?!
-I'm sorry.
1244
01:39:01,543 --> 01:39:03,668
-Do you wanna go for a drink?
-Yes.
1245
01:39:03,751 --> 01:39:07,251
Okay, I'm gonna get ready,
so wait a little bit.
1246
01:39:07,793 --> 01:39:12,001
HOGEISEN
1247
01:39:12,084 --> 01:39:13,168
No, it's true!
1248
01:39:13,251 --> 01:39:18,043
Now he's on TV like he's some big shot,
but at first, he was a complete mess.
1249
01:39:18,126 --> 01:39:23,709
When Mari told him to run a bath for her
bathing show, this fool ran boiling water!
1250
01:39:24,334 --> 01:39:29,251
It was too hot, so she hopped around
the tub with her foot in it like "Ow, ow!"
1251
01:39:30,043 --> 01:39:31,126
She was so angry.
1252
01:39:31,209 --> 01:39:32,501
Of course, you fool!
1253
01:39:32,584 --> 01:39:37,251
After that, she was blushing furiously
and saying, "I'm not Goemon Ishikawa!"
1254
01:39:37,751 --> 01:39:39,334
But Master was crazy, too.
1255
01:39:39,418 --> 01:39:41,793
We were watching an idol singing on TV.
1256
01:39:41,876 --> 01:39:45,043
He said, "Lift the TV up,"
and I wondered what he'd do.
1257
01:39:45,126 --> 01:39:47,376
He actually tried to see her panties.
1258
01:39:48,376 --> 01:39:50,209
Don't say that, you fool!
1259
01:39:50,293 --> 01:39:52,334
I was trying to see her panties,
1260
01:39:52,418 --> 01:39:55,376
but Kiyoshi said, "It's heavy"
and let go of the TV.
1261
01:39:56,084 --> 01:39:59,334
The TV fell and hit me.
I was badly hurt, you fool!
1262
01:40:00,293 --> 01:40:03,626
You've come back after all this time
talking nonsense.
1263
01:40:03,709 --> 01:40:07,168
You never stop talking,
so my balls are about to explode!
1264
01:40:08,376 --> 01:40:09,584
Your shoes, Master.
1265
01:40:09,668 --> 01:40:10,876
Thanks.
1266
01:40:12,501 --> 01:40:14,043
Oh, did I get taller?
1267
01:40:14,126 --> 01:40:15,418
No, you fool!
1268
01:40:16,584 --> 01:40:18,668
Why would I wear these pink heels?
1269
01:40:19,751 --> 01:40:21,543
How could you not tell?!
1270
01:40:22,459 --> 01:40:23,751
We got lots of laughs.
1271
01:40:24,584 --> 01:40:26,001
Yeah, we did.
1272
01:40:27,209 --> 01:40:28,626
We got lots of laughs.
1273
01:40:29,126 --> 01:40:31,376
The lady in front of me was in tears.
1274
01:40:31,459 --> 01:40:33,876
Well, I was making her laugh.
1275
01:40:33,959 --> 01:40:37,209
What are you talking about?
She was laughing at my story.
1276
01:40:37,293 --> 01:40:39,418
No, that… that was my story--
1277
01:40:41,459 --> 01:40:42,584
Hey, taxi!
1278
01:40:43,543 --> 01:40:45,334
-Take, get in.
-I can still drink.
1279
01:40:45,418 --> 01:40:47,751
No, you have work early tomorrow, right?
1280
01:40:47,834 --> 01:40:49,501
-Go home and sleep.
-You okay?
1281
01:40:49,584 --> 01:40:51,168
Yes, I am, you fool!
1282
01:40:51,668 --> 01:40:52,709
Oh, yeah.
1283
01:40:55,918 --> 01:40:57,459
Here's your cab fare.
1284
01:40:57,543 --> 01:40:58,501
Oh, thank you.
1285
01:40:58,584 --> 01:41:00,751
But this is the money I gave you!
1286
01:41:01,251 --> 01:41:02,959
-Is it?
-Yes.
1287
01:41:03,918 --> 01:41:05,293
Okay, just get in.
1288
01:41:10,918 --> 01:41:12,751
-Thank you for the meal.
-Yeah.
1289
01:41:14,334 --> 01:41:16,418
-Hey, Take.
-Yes?
1290
01:41:20,918 --> 01:41:22,459
If there's any left over,
1291
01:41:24,376 --> 01:41:26,001
bring me back the change.
1292
01:41:28,209 --> 01:41:29,168
Okay.
1293
01:42:23,084 --> 01:42:24,918
Hey, Mari.
1294
01:42:27,709 --> 01:42:30,793
It's been a while
since we last drank together.
1295
01:42:34,376 --> 01:42:37,834
I'm sure they don't have
good sake over there.
1296
01:42:55,334 --> 01:42:56,501
Mari.
1297
01:42:58,668 --> 01:42:59,959
Take said
1298
01:43:01,334 --> 01:43:03,876
it was my allowance.
1299
01:43:12,126 --> 01:43:14,418
And he gave this to me.
1300
01:43:15,334 --> 01:43:17,793
What an insolent brat, right?
1301
01:43:19,334 --> 01:43:20,918
I'm his master.
1302
01:43:24,376 --> 01:43:26,209
I've never heard of
1303
01:43:27,668 --> 01:43:30,918
a disciple giving his master an allowance.
1304
01:43:36,751 --> 01:43:37,793
But…
1305
01:43:46,376 --> 01:43:49,251
He is something.
1306
01:43:53,501 --> 01:43:56,626
I knew he would do it.
1307
01:43:59,001 --> 01:44:01,709
He did become successful.
1308
01:44:05,376 --> 01:44:06,209
But…
1309
01:44:07,918 --> 01:44:10,126
I have to keep up, too.
1310
01:44:12,459 --> 01:44:13,793
Because I'm…
1311
01:44:16,209 --> 01:44:19,043
Fukami of Asakusa.
1312
01:44:25,584 --> 01:44:26,834
Oh, yeah.
1313
01:44:31,084 --> 01:44:33,459
I came up with a new skit.
1314
01:44:34,751 --> 01:44:38,459
I told Take about it
1315
01:44:39,459 --> 01:44:42,334
and he said, "Let's do it together."
1316
01:44:48,126 --> 01:44:51,501
We're gonna get a big laugh.
1317
01:45:06,084 --> 01:45:10,084
We're gonna get a big laugh…
1318
01:45:22,668 --> 01:45:23,626
Hello.
1319
01:45:26,626 --> 01:45:29,668
Oh, hi. It's been a while.
1320
01:45:35,251 --> 01:45:36,126
Yes.
1321
01:45:43,668 --> 01:45:44,668
Yes.
1322
01:46:22,751 --> 01:46:26,168
-Do you think he'll come?
-Isn't he coming? Takeshi?
1323
01:46:26,251 --> 01:46:28,543
-Maybe he won't come today.
-Yeah.
1324
01:46:28,626 --> 01:46:30,209
I hope he does.
1325
01:46:30,293 --> 01:46:33,293
-We've got no story here without Takeshi.
-None.
1326
01:46:35,501 --> 01:46:37,709
SENZABURO FUKAMI'S FUNERAL
1327
01:46:38,876 --> 01:46:40,001
What should we do?
1328
01:46:40,876 --> 01:46:43,459
Should I ask them
to let us in from the back?
1329
01:46:44,001 --> 01:46:46,793
-Excuse me. Take us to the back door.
-Okay.
1330
01:46:49,084 --> 01:46:50,334
Oh, it's here.
1331
01:46:52,543 --> 01:46:54,668
I'm gonna go deal with the reporters.
1332
01:47:02,876 --> 01:47:03,918
Hey.
1333
01:47:11,293 --> 01:47:16,918
It's me who told Master
to close France-za.
1334
01:47:17,918 --> 01:47:19,834
Yes, I heard about it.
1335
01:47:20,751 --> 01:47:22,959
I never thought he'd die this young.
1336
01:47:24,126 --> 01:47:29,209
When I think about how he could've
remained a comedian until the end,
1337
01:47:29,793 --> 01:47:32,043
I feel so responsible.
1338
01:47:32,709 --> 01:47:33,918
No…
1339
01:47:34,918 --> 01:47:37,668
I'm the one who should've done more,
1340
01:47:39,084 --> 01:47:40,043
so thank you.
1341
01:47:40,126 --> 01:47:41,418
Not at all.
1342
01:47:46,668 --> 01:47:52,293
When I first asked Master
about closing France-za,
1343
01:47:52,834 --> 01:47:55,584
he got really angry at me.
1344
01:47:56,793 --> 01:48:00,293
Well, I had been prepared for that.
1345
01:48:01,793 --> 01:48:06,376
What I didn't expect
was for Master to say,
1346
01:48:06,459 --> 01:48:10,168
"If I close this place,
what would happen to Take?"
1347
01:48:12,626 --> 01:48:13,918
Leave, you bastard!
1348
01:48:15,293 --> 01:48:17,251
-Master.
-I said leave!
1349
01:48:22,501 --> 01:48:26,376
It doesn't have to be now.
Please think about it.
1350
01:48:38,668 --> 01:48:40,084
If I close this place,
1351
01:48:41,959 --> 01:48:43,459
what would happen to Take?
1352
01:48:48,084 --> 01:48:50,168
Who's gonna look after him?
1353
01:48:52,084 --> 01:48:55,959
That fool is the real deal.
1354
01:48:58,751 --> 01:49:00,709
Until I teach him everything…
1355
01:49:03,209 --> 01:49:05,209
I can't close this place.
1356
01:49:07,501 --> 01:49:09,376
Even after you left,
1357
01:49:10,084 --> 01:49:14,501
I heard he visited other theater managers
with a bottle of sake as a gift,
1358
01:49:14,584 --> 01:49:19,709
and bowed to them saying,
"Please take care of them."
1359
01:49:20,626 --> 01:49:21,459
Hi, Master!
1360
01:49:22,043 --> 01:49:24,668
-I'm sorry, I know you're busy.
-It's fine.
1361
01:49:24,751 --> 01:49:29,668
-For you. Give them odd jobs or anything.
-I can't believe he bowed to others.
1362
01:49:33,168 --> 01:49:36,293
Even when he got involved with yakuza,
he never bowed.
1363
01:49:40,293 --> 01:49:42,501
He cared so much about you.
1364
01:49:43,959 --> 01:49:46,168
I wish he did the same for me.
1365
01:50:24,168 --> 01:50:25,959
Why did you do that, Master?
1366
01:50:28,084 --> 01:50:29,834
You're so impatient.
1367
01:50:34,834 --> 01:50:37,709
Someone is gonna burn you
when you die anyway,
1368
01:50:39,376 --> 01:50:41,668
so why bother burning yourself?
1369
01:50:52,293 --> 01:50:53,918
But I heard
1370
01:50:55,376 --> 01:50:57,668
they got a call from the crematory.
1371
01:50:59,376 --> 01:51:02,709
Since you're half-burned,
they'll do it at half price.
1372
01:51:04,084 --> 01:51:05,084
Man…
1373
01:51:07,251 --> 01:51:08,668
What a deal.
1374
01:51:10,834 --> 01:51:11,834
Right?
1375
01:52:33,876 --> 01:52:38,376
ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA ENGEI HALL
TOYOKAN
1376
01:53:06,126 --> 01:53:10,834
{\an8}ASAKUSA FRANCE-ZA
1377
01:53:28,584 --> 01:53:29,793
Oh, Take!
1378
01:53:29,876 --> 01:53:32,834
I have lots of mikan oranges
so come get them later.
1379
01:53:56,334 --> 01:54:00,001
Listen, Take.
Don't suck up to your audience.
1380
01:54:00,876 --> 01:54:04,876
You tell them what's funny.
1381
01:54:18,751 --> 01:54:22,001
Oh, Take.
Master said we can do this skit tomorrow.
1382
01:54:22,084 --> 01:54:25,668
About the casting,
I think you'll be better as the novelist.
1383
01:54:25,751 --> 01:54:27,168
Is this enough?
1384
01:54:27,251 --> 01:54:31,418
Take, you wore this in a skit
without asking. I said no.
1385
01:54:31,501 --> 01:54:35,043
Look here. It's come undone.
What are you gonna do about it?
1386
01:54:37,876 --> 01:54:40,876
Ah, five minutes to curtain!
1387
01:54:42,126 --> 01:54:46,418
Take, I heard you spent all the money
that Master won on the horse race.
1388
01:54:46,501 --> 01:54:49,209
This is bad.
He's gonna be furious with you.
1389
01:54:58,584 --> 01:55:01,459
Take, Master's handing out
full-house bonuses.
1390
01:55:01,959 --> 01:55:03,209
But it's only 50 yen.
1391
01:55:03,293 --> 01:55:06,334
-Hey, stop!
-Why don't you get naked sometimes?
1392
01:55:06,418 --> 01:55:08,918
-Mari, stop. I mean it!
-Take, restrain him!
1393
01:55:09,001 --> 01:55:10,626
Hey, Take! Help!
1394
01:55:10,709 --> 01:55:12,834
Hey, Take! Whoa, no!
1395
01:55:13,418 --> 01:55:15,168
Hey… Oh, gee.
1396
01:55:15,251 --> 01:55:16,418
Pippi fled!
1397
01:55:16,501 --> 01:55:20,084
Hey, Take! That way! Hurry up!
1398
01:55:21,293 --> 01:55:23,418
Take! The toilet won't flush.
1399
01:55:23,501 --> 01:55:25,626
You studied engineering, right?
1400
01:55:28,793 --> 01:55:32,459
-You fool, lift it up more. More!
-You won't see them, Master.
1401
01:55:32,543 --> 01:55:33,918
Shut up. A little more.
1402
01:55:34,001 --> 01:55:37,168
Oh, I think we can see them.
Hey, Take! Help us!
1403
01:55:37,251 --> 01:55:39,376
-We can't!
-Oh, I think I saw them!
1404
01:55:39,876 --> 01:55:41,834
Those were panties, weren't they?!
1405
01:55:43,459 --> 01:55:46,543
Merry Christmas!
1406
01:55:46,626 --> 01:55:48,626
Hey, Take. Can we switch places?
1407
01:55:49,126 --> 01:55:50,876
-What, why? It's cute.
-No.
1408
01:55:50,959 --> 01:55:53,126
-It's cute, right, Take?
-No. Please.
1409
01:55:53,209 --> 01:55:56,459
Hey, Take! You got a little laugh
and got carried away.
1410
01:55:56,543 --> 01:55:59,334
How'd a five-minute skit
last 20 minutes, you fool?!
1411
01:55:59,418 --> 01:56:01,668
My skit was shortened because of that.
1412
01:56:01,751 --> 01:56:03,584
Know your place, you fool!
1413
01:56:06,084 --> 01:56:07,834
Take, you're late!
1414
01:56:08,626 --> 01:56:12,543
-He's finally here!
-Did you forget? I told you we'd go pray.
1415
01:56:12,626 --> 01:56:16,209
Get ready now.
Heaven will punish you for this.
1416
01:56:16,834 --> 01:56:18,501
We'll see you there!
1417
01:56:20,084 --> 01:56:23,001
Happy birthday!
1418
01:56:23,918 --> 01:56:27,334
Huh? Take… What are you doing, Take?
1419
01:56:27,418 --> 01:56:30,626
Hey, I told you to bring Master here.
1420
01:56:30,709 --> 01:56:32,459
No, no. Let's do it again.
1421
01:56:32,543 --> 01:56:35,334
-We're out of poppers.
-Master's coming!
1422
01:56:35,418 --> 01:56:36,793
What should we do?
1423
01:56:38,043 --> 01:56:39,293
Just smile!
1424
01:56:59,876 --> 01:57:02,876
Hey, you, right there.
Don't applaud unnecessarily.
1425
01:57:03,543 --> 01:57:06,584
Getting applause for that
isn't good for him.
1426
01:57:06,668 --> 01:57:11,001
Hey, I paid to see this!
Don't tell me what to do.
1427
01:57:11,543 --> 01:57:12,751
Who do you think you are?
1428
01:57:15,918 --> 01:57:17,959
I'm a comedian, you fool.
1429
02:02:38,126 --> 02:02:42,918
{\an8}Subtitle translation by: Tsuyoshi Koide