1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,120 Cheehoo! 2 00:00:06,760 --> 00:00:07,400 Oof! 3 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,560 Shame! 4 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,360 All right? 5 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,320 Whee! 6 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,360 - Say cheese. - Cheese. 7 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:41,280 Kia ora koutou, and welcome to season four of Taskmaster New Zealand. 8 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:42,800 My name is Jeremy Wells, 9 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:48,600 and my face has featured throughout all promotional materials and set dressing for this show 10 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:50,920 to an almost humiliating degree, 11 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,960 and that is because I am the Taskmaster. 12 00:00:58,080 --> 00:01:02,800 Over the next 10 episodes, we'll watch as five comedians from across the talent spectrum... 13 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:07,200 ...go head to head to win a once-in-a-lifetime prize. 14 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:12,240 This solid gold statue of my head... 15 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,120 Ooh! 16 00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,800 ...valued at over $40 million... 17 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,880 Zimbabwean. 18 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:25,600 In the running for this enticing prize is our beguiling season four cast ― 19 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,200 Bubbah! 20 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:31,640 Dai Henwood! 21 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,800 Karen O'Leary! 22 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,760 Mel Bracewell! 23 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:41,040 And Ray O'Leary! 24 00:01:42,400 --> 00:01:47,120 Over the last few months, these comedians have been completing a unique series of tasks 25 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,640 designed to test their wits, their courage, 26 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,560 and how unco they are. 27 00:01:53,160 --> 00:02:00,400 As always, sitting by my side and waiting patiently for his next command is my loyal human pet, 28 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,600 Paul Williams! 29 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,400 Thanks, Jeremy. 30 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:11,320 Yeah, things have been going pretty well for me this year. I've got a ponytail. 31 00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:15,160 - You've grown that? - Uh, well, I've got it. 32 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:16,880 It is real. 33 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:18,080 I w― OK. 34 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,280 OK. Thank you. 35 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,840 I stillhavea ponytail; it's just not on. 36 00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:29,120 OK, Paul. Tell us about our first task, would ya? 37 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:32,240 First up tonight, we have the prize task. 38 00:02:32,240 --> 00:02:34,160 Everyone's brought in a prize, 39 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:40,760 and the winner with the most points at the end of tonight's episode will take home all fiveprizes. 40 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:47,040 Tonight, we've asked our contestants to bring in the greatest orange thing. 41 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,080 Bubbah, what did you bring in? 42 00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:53,960 Ahem, so, the greatest thing that I've brought in is an orange. 43 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:59,960 But I think it's the greatest orange thing, because a billion years ago, 44 00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,960 the world didn't have colour. 45 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:06,760 Um, because of how light reflects on things, 46 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:13,160 it was too hot for things to have colour until 75,000 years ago ― 47 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,240 we were at the right temperature for colour. 48 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,080 And the orange, 49 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,080 just by being itself, 50 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,080 is orange. 51 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:28,080 Bubbah, are you telling the truth? 52 00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:30,080 Yes. 53 00:03:30,840 --> 00:03:35,200 It's true ― like, all the old photos are in black and white. 54 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:39,960 And you know on a summer's day when it gets so hot you can't see colour any more? 55 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:47,200 You know what, I thought at first that you'd just been incredibly lazy. 56 00:03:47,200 --> 00:03:51,920 But actually, that description turns out you're really on to something. 57 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:54,920 What did you bring in, Dai? 58 00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:59,320 What I brought in was a beautiful orange thing I see every morning. 59 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,600 And it is my coffee machine. 60 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,000 Aw. Oh, I'll have that. 61 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:08,680 It is a Moccamaster coffee machine made by the Germans. 62 00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:17,280 They used it throughout the last century to get up and ready for various... things. 63 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:19,560 Some for good, some for bad. 64 00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:26,160 I use it for― for very non-war related... 65 00:04:27,640 --> 00:04:28,960 ...things, 66 00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:31,960 mainly for having a coffee before I walk the kids to school, 67 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:38,360 and it is a beautiful orange, and it brings happiness to myself and my whanau. 68 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,240 - What did you bring in, Karen? - So, what I brought in was― 69 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:46,440 You know, we know New Zealand is well known for its abundance of oversized foodstuffs ― 70 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,800 L&P bottles, gumboots, 71 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:53,120 but there really is one that just stands out, I think, to everybody. 72 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,960 And correct me if I'm wrong, but I won't be, cos I'm right. 73 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:59,680 Um, yeah. So obviously, it's the Ohakune Carrot, 74 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,920 and obviously I did try to bring the actual carrot in. 75 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,400 I got in quite a lot of trouble with the police for trying to bring that, 76 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:09,680 but I did make this, and it is to scale. So, that one's small. 77 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,760 The other one's really big. 78 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,640 The best big thing we've got in New Zealand, other than you. 79 00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:18,320 What's your greatest orange thing, Mel? 80 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:21,880 I went with something that's sort of a combination of ideas. 81 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,320 I thought― I was quite hungry at the time I was thinking of something. 82 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,920 I first― I thought of a cake, but then I went, 83 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:32,000 'Well, it's gotta be orange flavoured, but then I also have to suck up to the Taskmaster.' 84 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,400 So I've brought you this. 85 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,280 Isn't it so cute? 86 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,840 Who's the guy on the top? 87 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:43,320 I-I think it's John Campbell. 88 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:50,040 Ironically, it's almost you, but weirdly, not orange enough. 89 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,040 Like... 90 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,600 But that is meant to be you, Jeremy Wells, 91 00:05:54,600 --> 00:06:00,960 on top of an orange-shaped cake that is orange flavoured, so people can eat you, I guess. 92 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,040 - Ray? - Yes. 93 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:07,080 - What orange thing did you bring in? - I'd just like to say I wouldn't have brought this in ifI'd known 94 00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:09,720 it was gonna be my first impression to the audience. 95 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,280 What is happening? 96 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:22,560 We've already had one Ohakune Carrot. 97 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:27,480 I'm so... 98 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,080 - Oh my God! - Oh! 99 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,080 - So, you are the greatest orange thing? - Uh, yes. 100 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:48,080 D-Do you like it? 101 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:54,880 I asked five different spray tan places to do it, and they all said no. 102 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:58,480 So if― Whoever wins the prize task, you know how it works. 103 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,160 They take away all of the prizes. 104 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:03,720 - Do they? - Do they take away your skin? - Take my skin... 105 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:09,520 - Or do they take you? - Yeah, for as long as I'm orange, they can have me. 106 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:14,520 This wasn't worth it, was it? 107 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,200 It was beautiful, Ray. 108 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,280 I think it was. I'll give you five points. 109 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:22,280 - Oh, thank God. - Yes. 110 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:28,160 Karen, one point for you, because the thing about the Ohakune Carrot ― it's gotta be big. 111 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,600 Dai gets two points for the coffee machine. 112 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:32,720 Mel gets three points for the cake. 113 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,720 And Bubbah ― 114 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:36,280 four. What? 115 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:37,480 What? - Four. 116 00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:41,120 Maybe it's actually genius. - That story made us all stupider. 117 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:45,960 - Four points for you. - Thank you. 118 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,880 Ohh. 119 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,680 All right, let's kick this party up a notch. Let's get stuck into our first task. 120 00:07:53,680 --> 00:08:00,680 It's the first proper task of the season, and this one had our contestants stumped. 121 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:09,560 Gidday, Paul. - Hello, Dai. 122 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:11,880 - Hello. - Hello, Mel. 123 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,480 Hello, Ray. - Hey, Paul. 124 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:14,760 - Hello, Bubbah. - Hello. 125 00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,760 Oh, what is this? 126 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:19,000 - I'm liking the look of this. - Why's that? 127 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,040 - Well, I quite enjoy cricket. - Oh. 128 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:22,240 Oh no. 129 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:27,120 - You don't like cricket? - No, I love it. I don't like Jamaica. 130 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:31,320 - Why don't you like Jamaica? - Oh no, I love it. - Oh. 131 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,080 I don't like reggae. 132 00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:37,160 - Why don't you like reggae? - Oh no, I love it. - Oh. 133 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,280 - This is, like, my family legacy. - Oh. 134 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,920 My uncles, like, were in the Blackcaps, but my dad... 135 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:47,160 just works for HP Networking. 136 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:50,040 I'm like a kid at Christmas with this. Right. 137 00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:53,120 'Knock the balls― bails...' 138 00:08:53,120 --> 00:08:54,200 Reading. 139 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:58,080 Knock the bails off the wickets from the furthest distance. 140 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:00,080 What bails, those? OK. 141 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,880 'Furthest distance wins. 142 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,600 'So you have 20 minutes... 143 00:09:03,600 --> 00:09:05,560 '...or until the bails fall off. 144 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,560 'Your time starts... 145 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,040 'now.' 146 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,320 You were very excited for this cricket task, Dai, I see. 147 00:09:16,320 --> 00:09:19,840 Yes. I mean, coming straight out of the gate, I love cricket. 148 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:24,280 I play cricket, so, um, I felt this was in my wheelhouse. 149 00:09:24,280 --> 00:09:28,200 Ray, you weren't so excited about the fact that this was a cricket task. 150 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,720 No, I-I talked to Paul as long as I could before I had to 151 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:34,320 touch the cricket. 152 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:36,560 Touch the cricket? 153 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:39,960 Is that not a sporting term? 154 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:45,280 - Who have we got up first? - Opening the attack, it's Dai Henwood. 155 00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,360 I reckon you start from the bath, eh? 156 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:52,080 OK, that missed. 157 00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:53,920 Lucky. It almost killed a cameraman. 158 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,000 I think here's safer, eh. 159 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:01,840 This is what it means to be alive, Paul. This sort of action, eh. 160 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:03,520 Yeah, dig it in. 161 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,520 Sorry. 162 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:13,320 Oh, I'm just playing catch with you now. 163 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,800 Oh-ho-ho! 164 00:10:17,800 --> 00:10:21,280 See, that's that turn I was talking about! 165 00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:24,440 Oh! 166 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:28,920 I'm gonna give myself two more minutes of this length. 167 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:31,440 Oh! 168 00:10:31,440 --> 00:10:33,440 Aw. 169 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,440 Oh. 170 00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:38,520 Oh! Aww! 171 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,920 When I'd hit the wickets like that, I usually run round screaming, 'Justice!' and, 'Storm the capitol!' 172 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,600 It's my thing. - You've got seven minutes and 40 seconds. 173 00:10:56,560 --> 00:10:58,280 What am I doing here? 174 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,480 What am I doing here, Paul? 175 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:06,720 I'm embarrassing myself at every endeavour. 176 00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:17,800 You thought you were gonna be quite good at this task, didn't you? 177 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:22,560 Yeah. That actually felt longer than the 20 minutes that it actually took. 178 00:11:22,560 --> 00:11:26,160 How far away was he when he was bowling this ball? 179 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:31,520 Well, he started a lot further away, but the successful hit was 17.65m. 180 00:11:31,520 --> 00:11:32,720 Right. 181 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:39,600 Which sounds impressive, but it is 2.5m shorter than a cricket pitch. 182 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:47,920 Nothing like live sports to send your blood pressure through the roof, is there? 183 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:49,720 I need a couple of minutes to calm down right now, 184 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:54,200 so why don't you relax and enjoy this selection of locally-made short films? 185 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,040 We'll see you for more Taskmaster in just a moment. 186 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,320 Wow. Welcome back. Those were some amazing commercials. 187 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,880 I can't wait to see more of them later. 188 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,920 Paul, what are we all doing here? 189 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,920 Well, Jeremy, we're watching our contestants attempt to knock bails 190 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:23,280 off cricket wickets from the furthest distance. 191 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,200 That's right. Who do we have next? 192 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:31,080 Have I slowly heated sugar in a saucepan until it turns into a soft, brown, chewy sauce? 193 00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:33,760 Because it's time for some 'Karen-Ray-Mel.' 194 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:36,600 It's Karen, Ray and Mel. 195 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:40,080 I might just have a quick look in the shed. 196 00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,880 OK. 197 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:47,800 What's the rope for? 198 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,120 What I'm thinking of doing is tying it to the wickets 199 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:53,280 and then just pulling it from a very far distance. 200 00:12:53,280 --> 00:12:56,760 Right. I probably don't need the helmet. 201 00:12:56,760 --> 00:13:00,000 And if I tie this one to that one as well, I'm in the money. 202 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,520 Christ, I'm terrible at tying knots as well. 203 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:05,240 I didn't really think about that as I started to do this. 204 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,480 I really think maybe you could keep your ropes in better order. 205 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,920 Like, this is wasting a lot of my valuable time. 206 00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:13,240 Let me know when it's at the end of the rope. 207 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:14,400 Oh, did that come undone? 208 00:13:14,400 --> 00:13:15,720 Oh, bloody hell. 209 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:17,000 That'll have to do. 210 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,920 Then all I've gotta do 211 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,680 is tie this to the middle post without disturbing. 212 00:13:22,680 --> 00:13:26,000 Will this work? Will this work? Have I got enough um... 213 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,640 Oh my God. 214 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,760 Oh, like, all that time spent― 215 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:33,000 How much time do I have? - Two minutes and 50 seconds. 216 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:35,480 I'll just try throw it, I guess. 217 00:13:35,480 --> 00:13:37,760 Delicately... 218 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:40,120 That's good. 219 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,120 Whoa! 220 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:44,240 Oh, no. 221 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,080 This is either gonna work or not work. 222 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:47,960 This is so far. 223 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:49,960 Tell me when I have a minute left. 224 00:13:49,960 --> 00:13:51,960 Oh, come on. 225 00:13:53,080 --> 00:13:54,960 Oh no. 226 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,240 Oh no. 227 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:59,000 I'm gonna give it a try, Paul! 228 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,440 You ready? - Yeah. 229 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:01,960 I'm ready. 230 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,520 You've got 95 seconds. 231 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:10,520 Ugh. 232 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:19,760 That was a disaster. 233 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:22,960 - Thank you, Ray. - Yeah, thanks, Paul. 234 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:26,240 Oh, Ray... 235 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:33,280 Ray, at one point there, you abandoned tying knots, and you decided to start throwing. 236 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:37,920 And as bad as you were at tying knots, you were way worse at throwing. 237 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:42,080 I think my biggest mistake with that task was spending 15 minutes on something 238 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,960 that crucially depended upon a skill I did not have. 239 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:49,360 Mel, what do you think the cricketing side 240 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:51,600 of the Bracewell family would think about your efforts? 241 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:54,960 I think I've spent too much time in Australia that I'm now going, 242 00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:59,080 'I should just cheat at cricket.' Like... 243 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:03,200 Why doesn't everyone bring a rope to the match? That's... 244 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:08,120 I was happy, and then I saw that Karen just found another extra rope, which was just... 245 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,680 And I didn't― didn't occur to me to get another rope. - Ah, it's a shame. 246 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,160 - How are the distances, Paul? - Um, so Ray ― 6.31m, 247 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:21,880 Mel ― 58.3m, 248 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:24,720 and Karen ― 61m. 249 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,320 - Oh! - Yes, so it was very close. 250 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,480 OK, Paul. So, by my count, that's only four people. 251 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,840 Great counting, Jeremy. We have one last contestant. It's Bubbah. 252 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,640 From the further-est distance. 253 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:41,400 Wait, let me just have a practice. - OK. 254 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,040 I don't know, I see them do this. 255 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,200 Oh! - Stay there. 256 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:48,200 Oh, sorry. 257 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,640 - Oh. Do I not get another go? - No. 258 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,880 What?! That was my practice. 259 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:02,120 Can I have a chance? Please? - You had― You had your chance. 260 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,640 - Please, Paul. - Sorry. 261 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,560 - I'll give you my lunch tomorrow. - No. 262 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,120 Where you gonna measure from if you don't know where...? 263 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:12,600 Where you gonna measure from if you don't know where my feet are? 264 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,360 Let me measure. Let me measure. 265 00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:16,400 That's not where I was. That's not fair, then. 266 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:17,880 - What are you doing? - Practising. 267 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,920 Practising afterwards? 268 00:16:24,760 --> 00:16:26,760 Oh my God. 269 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:29,280 Sweet as, Paul. - Thank you, Bubbah. 270 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:31,080 Shot, G. 271 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,080 Shot, G. 272 00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,960 So, is there anything that you wanna take away from this task? 273 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,760 I said, 'Let me have a practice,' 274 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,880 and then he said 'OK,' 275 00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:49,680 and then he measured my practice. 276 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:52,880 I-I would like to deny that. 277 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,960 Look, it was confusing out there. I was so hot I couldn't see colour. 278 00:16:58,960 --> 00:17:00,960 So... 279 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:05,760 On a positive note, you had great aim. 280 00:17:05,760 --> 00:17:07,760 Yeah. 281 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:14,360 I love that you took, like, five seconds, and Ray took 20 minutes, 282 00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:17,400 and I reckon you got bang on the same amount. 283 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,720 It was very close between them. 284 00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:22,720 There was only 26cm between the two. 285 00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:25,920 Ray was 6.31m, 286 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:30,120 Bubbah ― 6.05m. 287 00:17:30,120 --> 00:17:32,120 - '6.05m'. - Yes. 288 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,760 So, what does that mean for the points then? 289 00:17:33,760 --> 00:17:36,600 So that means one point for Bubbah, two points for Ray, 290 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:43,200 three points for Dai, four points for Mel and five points for Karen. 291 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:49,960 And that means that it must be time for the first scoreboard update of season four. 292 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:54,040 How are we looking, Paul? - Bubbah and Dai on five, Karen's on six. 293 00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:58,040 In first equal on seven points, it's Ray and Mel. 294 00:18:00,240 --> 00:18:03,760 So, um, is there another task, or did we only do one this season? 295 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:10,240 Jeremy, you'll be happy to know that the number of tasks we did was two or more. 296 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:15,400 Disclaimer ― I really don't know what to expect with this one. 297 00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,040 - Hi, Paul. - Hello, Karen. 298 00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,840 - Hi, Paul. - I've been expecting you. 299 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,080 OK. 300 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:28,760 What's, um, going on? 301 00:18:28,760 --> 00:18:31,760 Oh, this is like that movie― Oh, no, that's 300. 302 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:34,240 This is the third movie in the instalment. 303 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:36,240 What? 304 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:40,520 Oh, no, I said― Oh, I didn't... I've got no ideas. 305 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:45,520 If you had to guess what the task is, what would you predict? 306 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,400 - Yep. - OK. 307 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:49,480 I think I know what it is. 308 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:52,440 It is exactly what I thought. 309 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:58,280 'Do the most unpredictable thing at the end of the 500-second timer. 310 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,800 'Most unpredictable thing wins. 311 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,080 'Your timer starts now.' 312 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,400 500 seconds. How much is 500 seconds? 313 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,120 It's 8.3333 minutes. 314 00:19:07,120 --> 00:19:09,280 Oh, shit. 315 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,360 Unpredictable? I'm so predictable! 316 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,800 Whose unpredictable task are we gonna see first? 317 00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:23,720 Well, Dai went first in the first task, so no one would expect him to go first again. 318 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:26,200 Well, maybe you should expect 319 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,800 the unanticipated. 320 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,280 It's Dai Henwood. 321 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:31,800 You're allowed to leave the room. 322 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:37,800 I can also yell out if you need a time check. - Hold on, hold on, wait, wait. 323 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,000 420! I'll be back. 324 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:52,120 Oh God. My dick. 325 00:19:56,720 --> 00:19:58,360 Hey, Paul. How are you going, bro? 326 00:19:58,360 --> 00:20:00,920 ♪ Yo, my name's Dai, in the place to be. ♪ 327 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,480 Oh, just having a good stretch. 328 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:06,760 Five, four, three, two, one. 329 00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:13,080 ♪ Whoops, there it is! Whoops, there it is! 330 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:16,800 ♪ Dry goods in my pants. I got dry goods in my pants. ♪ 331 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,640 Can't say I was expecting it. 332 00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,640 Thanks, Paul. 333 00:20:24,840 --> 00:20:27,600 So, how did it feel to have all those dry goods in your pants? 334 00:20:27,600 --> 00:20:31,400 It was actually like a coarse talcum powder. 335 00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,240 The dry pasta, the cornflakes... 336 00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:38,240 If anything, it made me feel amazing. 337 00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,200 It was like having a dry dream. 338 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:48,920 If you'd like to fill your pants with dry goods without missing the next instalment of Taskmaster, 339 00:20:48,920 --> 00:20:53,000 now is your chance. We'll see you after the break. 340 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,920 Welcome back to Taskmaster ― the only show where you can win a normal-sized carrot 341 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,920 and Ray O'Leary's skin. 342 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:18,000 Where are we at, Paul? - Our contestants are attempting to do the most unpredictable thing. 343 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:22,480 So far, we've seen Dai Henwood fill his pants with pasta. 344 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,920 So, who's next then? 345 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:27,440 Up next, it's Academy Award winner Viola Davis. 346 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:31,280 That's not true, but no one could have predicted that I'd say that. 347 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,560 It's Bubbah, Karen and Ray. 348 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:37,440 Maybe I should blindfold you, so that way you can't predict what's gonna happen. 349 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,400 You also can leave the room if you want. 350 00:21:39,400 --> 00:21:41,920 Yeah, I feel like this is awkward. 351 00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:45,240 - What's awkward? - Being here with you. - Oh. 352 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,200 Yeah, I know what I'm gonna do. 353 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:49,520 Do I just need to wait till the end of the timer, though? 354 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:51,720 We can just chat convivially until then. 355 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,360 - Can you― Can you still see? - Mm-mm. 356 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:02,280 What if the thing that I do is a really dickhead thing? 357 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,720 Please don't break the projector. 358 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,160 Or the laptop. 359 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,720 But would I win? 360 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,040 You know, I've got that really cool podcast about people talking about their sexuality. 361 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,560 How would you― How do you define yours? 362 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,560 I'd probably say... 363 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,800 - There's no wrong answer. - ...none of your damn beeswax. 364 00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:23,360 No, that's― Sorry. That's OK, you can ask. 365 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,280 - I'll be back in a second. - OK. - Thanks. 366 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,800 I got my thing. 367 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,000 Or... no, no. - 30 seconds. 368 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:33,000 Well, the thing I'm gonna do takes about 10 seconds. 369 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,480 You've got 20 seconds. 370 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,240 OK, well, you tell me when I get to 10. 371 00:22:36,240 --> 00:22:38,440 You've got five seconds. 372 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,560 You've got eight seconds. - Cool. 373 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:00,720 What? 374 00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,200 I bet you didn't see that coming! 375 00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:11,840 Great technique! 376 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,280 Ooh! 377 00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,160 Oh, shit! 378 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:33,280 - Any lasting injuries? - Um, well, no, not for me. 379 00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:36,320 But I mean, I suspect maybe Bubbah's shoulder would hurt... 380 00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:39,480 ...after hitting my rock-hard body. 381 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:46,880 Speaking of rock hard, Karen's kiss must have given you a little tingle downstairs. 382 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,320 I will say this about Karen's kiss ― 383 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:57,720 immediately after, I lost the ability to see colour. 384 00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:02,040 - So, your predictions, can you just go through those? - Yes. 385 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:07,920 Uh, attack Paul, take your clothes off, silly dance, loud and/or aggressive noises, 386 00:24:07,920 --> 00:24:10,520 costume change and break wind. 387 00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:14,880 Um, but I would somewhat deem those three as attacks. 388 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:15,880 Yeah. 389 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:17,880 - No. - No. - No. 390 00:24:19,440 --> 00:24:20,680 - No! - No? 391 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:22,680 I did it cos I love you. 392 00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:26,360 It's a love bomb. 393 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,400 It's not an attack; that's my love language. 394 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,160 Who have we got left, Paul? 395 00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:36,040 Brace yourselves and 'Bracewell' ― it's Mel. 396 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:40,520 Paul, before I come in, what would you expect me to do? 397 00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:45,280 Um, something food-based, cos it sounded like you were banging around in the kitchen. 398 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,280 What if I was to do this? 399 00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:20,680 Can't say you were predicting that. 400 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:30,440 And you wouldn't expect me to do it 130 seconds early, would you? - I wasn't expecting that, no. 401 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:35,040 - Well, that's what I've done. - You've got 122 seconds. 402 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,840 I'm gonna kill myself if this says 'at the end.' 403 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:46,320 'At the end of this 500-second timer.' No. 404 00:25:46,320 --> 00:25:47,600 No! 405 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:49,040 No! 406 00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,000 No! 407 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,000 Five seconds. 408 00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,640 That's real rubbish from the crew. 409 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,480 I can't believe I crawled around the ground mewing and licking milk out of a bowl. 410 00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,480 You were just doing that in your spare time before the task. 411 00:26:13,480 --> 00:26:17,080 In my spare time before I had to do the task. 412 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,000 Well, thanks, Paul. I'm gonna go wash this off my face. 413 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:23,200 - OK. Thank you, Mel. - And cry. 414 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,600 I've spent the last three months thinking about that. 415 00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,600 And I've developed a deep depression. 416 00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,160 OK. 417 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,240 - How would you like to score it? - It's not easy, to be honest. 418 00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:40,400 Pouring rubbish over yourself wasn't on the blackboard. 419 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,520 - No. That's true. - Yeah, but neither was romance. 420 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,920 And love. - That's true. 421 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:48,880 To be honest, Mel, I'll give you five points, cos I never thought you'd stoop that low. 422 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:54,200 I never expected it, not from you. - Thank you. Thank you, Jeremy. 423 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:59,720 Ray, I'm gonna give you one point, because I could hear the water splashing. 424 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,240 Could you hear the water splashing? - I did. I did hear the water. - Could you? 425 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,840 - As you were walking towards me, I heard some sloshing. I did. - Oh. 426 00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:09,040 Two points for you, Karen. A bit of tongue would've got you more points. 427 00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:14,840 Bubbah, great tackle technique. Three points from you. - Thank you, Taskmaster. 428 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:19,680 - And Dai with the dry goods in the pants, four for you. - Thank you very much. 429 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:24,640 OK. What's next, Paul? 430 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:30,120 Cor blimey, Jeremy. It's our penultimate task. 431 00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,760 - 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello. - Hello, hello, hello. 432 00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,560 - Hey, Paul. - Hello, Ray. 433 00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:42,720 Ooh! 434 00:27:42,720 --> 00:27:43,880 Good afternoon, ma'am. 435 00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:44,800 You right, guv'nor? 436 00:27:44,800 --> 00:27:48,800 - This is the British flag. - You know your flags. 437 00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:51,960 'Be British. 438 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:53,360 'Most British wins. 439 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:55,160 'You have 30 minutes. 440 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:58,320 'Your time starts... 441 00:27:58,320 --> 00:27:59,320 'now.' 442 00:27:59,320 --> 00:28:00,600 Guess what? 443 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:03,240 I'm 50% British. 444 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:08,120 I just need another 50%, and then I'm one hundo. 445 00:28:08,120 --> 00:28:10,680 I could be like a football hooligan and give you a Liverpool kiss. 446 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,120 - What's a Liverpool kiss? - Head-butt. 447 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:14,760 - Oh. - Yeah. 448 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:16,320 That sounds full-on. 449 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,120 Do we have the rights to the soundtrack of Mary Poppins? 450 00:28:19,120 --> 00:28:21,120 - I don't think so. - Hmm. 451 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:23,320 Probably should go get my makeup done. 452 00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:25,120 Get a bag. - Get a bag? 453 00:28:25,120 --> 00:28:29,000 Yeah. And then I'll come have, um, brunch with you. 454 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,200 What do you think of when you think of Britain? 455 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,280 Well, now all I can think of is a Liverpool kiss. 456 00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:36,880 There's that headgear thing. Maybe you could wear that for your own safety. 457 00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:42,640 We could also probably use a camera angle or something so you don't actually have to head-butt me. 458 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:48,520 - Where's the fun in that? - The fun for me would be not getting head-butted in the head. 459 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:56,640 I'd say, if possible, I wanna see Paul assaulted in every single task in this season. 460 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,640 That would be amazing. 461 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:02,520 It's quite an open-ended task, this one. Who's gonna start? 462 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:07,200 She's not a Spice Girl, but she is a nice girl. It's Mel B. 463 00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:11,640 Hello. 464 00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:13,360 It's me. 465 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:17,640 King Melanie of England. 466 00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:20,480 Bow. 467 00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:22,760 Fank you very much. 468 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:28,240 I've got a bunch of different accents cos I'm all kinds of Bri'ish. 469 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:32,280 Oh, this is some mighty fine artwork. 470 00:29:32,760 --> 00:29:35,560 It'd be a shame if someone stole it 471 00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,720 and put it in their museum, 472 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:41,720 wouldn't it? - Yeah, I agree. It would be a shame. 473 00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,600 Welcome to the Bri'ish Museum. 474 00:29:44,880 --> 00:29:46,880 What a Bri'ish day. 475 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:50,800 - Your throne is in the museum? - You bet your duck's arse. 476 00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:56,080 - Is that a British expression? - Oh, rhyming slang. 477 00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:58,160 Instead of duck, I say... 478 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,200 shit and . 479 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:03,120 Oh wow. 480 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:04,960 Let's go do some colonisin'. 481 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:07,360 I'm gonna make a few changes round this place. 482 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:11,000 You bet your duck's arse on that. - I thought you didn't say duck. 483 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:14,800 You bet your suck and 's arse on that. 484 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,640 What you call this? - Uh, the caravan? 485 00:30:17,640 --> 00:30:19,640 Not any more, it's not. 486 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,200 It's Melville. 487 00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:24,360 Mel-opolis. 488 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:26,880 It's England 2.0. 489 00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,080 Look. 490 00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:31,320 It's a suck and . 491 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:38,520 Just so I can be clear, 492 00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,680 what the hell was that? 493 00:30:41,680 --> 00:30:45,080 I was colonising the Taskmaster house. 494 00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:47,600 And the swearing ― 495 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:48,880 Mel Bracewell! 496 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:50,880 I'm sorry, OK? 497 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,240 Now it's time for what in Britain they call an 'ad break'. 498 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:57,240 We'll see you in a jiffy. 499 00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:13,920 Welcome back to Taskmaster, where five New Zealand comedians are desperately competing 500 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:17,040 for a cake, a coffee machine, and most importantly, 501 00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:19,040 validation from me. 502 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:24,040 Where are we up to, Paul? - We are currently watching our contestants be British. 503 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:30,280 And whose subtle and nuanced impression of British life is next in line, Paul? 504 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:33,880 Next stop ― caravana di amor. It's Bubbah. 505 00:31:38,880 --> 00:31:41,680 622 - # I've been thinkin' 'bout you, boy. 506 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:46,240 ♪ Yeah, yeah. All I think about is you, boy. 507 00:31:46,240 --> 00:31:49,120 ♪ All I think about is, yeah, yeah. ♪ 508 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:51,640 Hey, Paul. 509 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,440 I just came here to have a little chat with ya, 510 00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:58,360 because when I first came on to the island, I was looking at you. 511 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:02,480 I thought you were looking at me, weren't ya? - Uh... Uh, yeah. 512 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:07,800 - And then, like, how come I saw you chatting up to― chatting up Dana? - Dana? 513 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:11,760 She just asked me how my day was yesterday, and I just said― 514 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,800 - Oh my God, I'm gonna cry. - No. 515 00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,640 - It's like you're playing with my feelings. - No, I wasn't. 516 00:32:16,640 --> 00:32:20,120 - I'm gonna cry on national TV now. - I was just being polite to Dana. 517 00:32:20,120 --> 00:32:23,400 So, how come Dana thinks, like, you guys are gonna be together? 518 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,280 Well, cos I've just asked her. 519 00:32:25,280 --> 00:32:28,480 - And what does she say? - Well, she said that you guys might be together. 520 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:32,280 Do you just go round here like a lad, like, with your physique 521 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,560 and just toy with everyone's feelings? 522 00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:37,080 No. 523 00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,600 So, when I'm out there, like, shankin' and gankin'... 524 00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,560 - When you're shanking and gan―? - Me and my friends ― we'll blow a load out there, 525 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,160 skanky-danky, 526 00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:45,840 chizzle and wizzle, 527 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:49,080 and skedad to the... away from the P... 528 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,280 P-lice. 529 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:53,440 I don't really understand what you're saying. 530 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:57,840 What are your top three favourite places in England? 531 00:32:57,840 --> 00:32:59,840 Probably Ramsey's... 532 00:33:00,880 --> 00:33:03,040 Ramsey's... house. 533 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,600 - Ramsey's house? - Er, yep. 534 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:07,680 The clock, and... 535 00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:11,960 the cock. 536 00:33:12,200 --> 00:33:14,200 Thanks. - Thank you. 537 00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:20,440 656 538 00:33:22,320 --> 00:33:27,240 So, just a couple of questions here. What is 'skankin' and a-dankin''? 539 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,800 It's just like, sluttin' around, I guess you guys would call it. 540 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:37,040 Your favourite things about England were 541 00:33:37,280 --> 00:33:39,280 Ramsey's... 542 00:33:39,640 --> 00:33:41,560 the clock... 543 00:33:41,560 --> 00:33:43,640 and the cock? 544 00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:49,080 Mate, I'm from the hood. I couldn't think about anything that's from Britain. 545 00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:53,240 She's not wrong. I know a lot of people who went on their OE to see the cock, to be honest. 546 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:59,360 - And the belt round the neck. - Yeah. 547 00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:01,360 - Inspired. - I'm kinky. 548 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,400 Any more BAFTA-worthy performances? 549 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:14,760 UK, which stands for 'Up-next, Karen.' 550 00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:17,760 Go wide, wide! 551 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,760 Send it forward! 552 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:22,800 Come on, Leicester! Come on, Fulham. 553 00:34:22,800 --> 00:34:24,880 Leicester, come on, kill him! 554 00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:26,880 Score a goal. 555 00:34:28,120 --> 00:34:30,120 Take it long, long! 556 00:34:32,560 --> 00:34:35,560 Come on, you bastard! 557 00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:42,120 Oh, ref, come on, what are you talkin' about? - It was a good call, mate. 558 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,120 Oof! 559 00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:49,920 Come on, Leicester! 560 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:54,640 That was awesome. 561 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,960 So glad we got to see the famous Liverpool kiss. 562 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,280 What could be more British than that? 563 00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:03,960 Your lines were fantastic. 'Score a goal.' 564 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,000 Yeah, well I didn't actually script― I should have scripted Paul 565 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:11,560 if I'd known it was gonna be such a weak performance. 566 00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:15,160 OK, so that's three people being British. 567 00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,000 There's two more. Is that right? - That's right, Jeremy. 568 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:22,200 Up next ― he's so English he can speak fluent English. 569 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,200 It's Dai Henwood. 570 00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:28,760 Welcome, sir. 571 00:35:28,760 --> 00:35:33,840 This is England, all right, once you pass the border. 572 00:35:33,840 --> 00:35:37,920 I am a Welsh guard, all right? Know what I mean? 573 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,280 Cuppa tea, squire? 574 00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,960 Psssh! 575 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,080 Crrricket. 576 00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,360 An encyclopaedia of words. 577 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,040 Bath. 578 00:35:47,040 --> 00:35:53,000 Ahh. You know, the English don't have showers? They only have baths. - I've showered in England. 579 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:55,640 - Yeah, but you're talking modern day. - Yeah. 580 00:35:55,640 --> 00:35:59,200 - Yeah, but we're getting bogged down in semantics at the moment. - OK. 581 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,000 The Brrritish lion. 582 00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,200 What's the pearl necklace? 583 00:36:03,200 --> 00:36:04,920 The Queen's crown. 584 00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:08,480 Ooh, you're clutching to your pearls. 585 00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:11,280 And also the piece de resistance. 586 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:12,960 You stand there. 587 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:18,800 You been queuing here long? 588 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,200 - Uh, no. - We're in for a good queue today. 589 00:36:22,440 --> 00:36:24,920 Oh, nothing like a good queue, is there, mate? 590 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:27,400 So, this is England. 591 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:30,960 I gotta head back to New Zealand, OK? - OK. 592 00:36:31,960 --> 00:36:34,640 That was a long flight. 593 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:45,080 I genuinely forgot that that was shot in New Zealand there for a moment, such was the imagery 594 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:49,200 What were you queueing for, exactly? - That's the best thing about queuing. 595 00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:52,800 You don't have to be queuing for anything, because... 596 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:59,000 queuing is like life ― there is no destination. It's all about the journey. 597 00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:06,160 - There's one person we haven't seen yet, have we, Paul? - It's O'Leary. Ray O'Leary. 598 00:37:12,200 --> 00:37:14,120 Ooh, ooh! 599 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,520 Ooh, I'm flying through the clouds! 600 00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,960 Ooh, oh, oo-hoo-hoo! 601 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:21,760 I'm a British nanny. Ooh, oooh! 602 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:29,320 I'm Sherry Mobbins, a completely original character that does not infringe on copyright whatsoever. 603 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:33,920 And I'm here to look after a very naughty Paul Williams. 604 00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:42,920 Now, you've been a very naughty boy, Paul, but I know what'll fix you. 605 00:37:42,920 --> 00:37:47,800 ♪ The medicine goes down with a sugary spoonful. ♪ 606 00:37:49,080 --> 00:37:50,560 Yum, yum, yum. 607 00:37:50,560 --> 00:37:54,520 Oh dear. You're still not better, are you? You're still a naughty boy. 608 00:37:54,520 --> 00:37:59,800 I know. 'The medicine will go down with a sugary spoonful.' 609 00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:03,560 There you go. There you go. Open wide. Open, open wide. 610 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:07,840 Open wide. Open, open. Maybe tilt your head back a bit. 611 00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:12,600 There we go. Yeah, that's the ticket. 612 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:19,000 I think you've deserved a little trip up the stair banister. 613 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,520 Well, what a lovely ride. 614 00:38:23,520 --> 00:38:25,520 Paul, you were such a naughty boy. 615 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:28,040 But now you've become the sweetest boy I've ever met. 616 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,720 And I'm going to really miss you. 617 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:34,800 Mmm, sweet. 618 00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:37,400 Thank you, Perry... Moppins. 619 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:42,360 Supercalifragilistic! Ooh, ooh! 620 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,360 Did Mary Poppins ever kiss the children that she looked after? 621 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:56,560 Yeah, no, that was Sherry Mobbins. They definitely should have done a police check onher. 622 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:02,240 Well, you started as Sherry Mobbins, and then I think by the end of it... 623 00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:07,200 He kind of changed the name a few times. Eventually he landed on Perry Moppins, I think. 624 00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:12,040 Yeah, that's what it was meant to be ― Perry Moppins, but I forgot. 625 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:18,080 I think everyone's efforts were equally embarrassing, so this is quite difficult for me to judge. 626 00:39:18,080 --> 00:39:21,880 But I'm gonna give Dai and Mel two points. 627 00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,680 Karen with the Liverpool kiss, I'll give you three, 628 00:39:24,680 --> 00:39:27,520 and then Bubbah and Ray, 629 00:39:27,520 --> 00:39:30,640 five points each for the Love Island melange ― 630 00:39:30,640 --> 00:39:33,600 was a bit of Grange Hill in there too, which was quite impressive ― 631 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:36,880 and Sherry Mobbins as well, good on you. 632 00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:46,320 Up next, the thrilling conclusion to the first episode of series four of Taskmaster New Zealand, 633 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:50,000 with our first live task. We'll see you soon. 634 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:06,640 Welcome back to Taskmaster. It's nice to have your company. Don't worry, it's nearly over. 635 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:10,960 Our contestants are about to embark on their very first live task. 636 00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:13,640 But first, we need a scoreboard update, Paul. 637 00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:18,320 - On 14 points with a one-point lead, Mel Bracewell. - Oh! 638 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:26,680 That sounds about right. Let's head upstairs for the first live task. 639 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,400 Can someone please explain what we're looking at here? 640 00:40:31,400 --> 00:40:34,680 Tonight, Mel is going to read the task. 641 00:40:36,160 --> 00:40:42,760 'Correctly don your surgical scrubs, mask, stethoscope, gloves, hairnet and shoecovers 642 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:47,160 'while simultaneously keeping your balloon aloft. 643 00:40:48,360 --> 00:40:52,200 'Your balloon must remain in motion the entire time. 644 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:55,200 'If your balloon contacts the ground, 645 00:40:55,200 --> 00:41:00,200 'you must remove everything you have put on and start again. 646 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:05,000 'Fastest to correctly don their surgical outfit wins. 647 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:08,200 'Your time starts on Paul's whistle.' 648 00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:17,640 Throw that around. Throw it― Bounce it, bounce it back. 649 00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,440 Some of us aren't dirty cheats. 650 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,440 Crap. 651 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:26,280 Ray's a genius. Ugh. 652 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:36,040 Go away, Dai. Why do I have two hairnets? Oh, they're shoe covers. 653 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,040 Ah! 654 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,920 This would be quite hard if you had to keep a balloon aloft. 655 00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:50,960 I'll give you $10 if you drop that balloon, I swear to God. 656 00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:55,840 I've got a bigger bounty. I've got an actual ripe avocado. 657 00:41:58,080 --> 00:42:02,840 Hey, put the stethoscope in your ears. Everything's so loud. 658 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:09,240 Impressively, Mel is nearly beating Ray, and she's actually keeping the balloon aloft. 659 00:42:09,240 --> 00:42:11,360 I'm sorry. I need all the help I can get. 660 00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:14,360 Ray's struggling with the gloves. 661 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:19,720 Bubbah, you've got to try and put the clothes on. 662 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,600 OK, does this count? Am I done? 663 00:42:21,600 --> 00:42:23,760 Keep it aloft, please, Mel. You don't have a mask on, you... 664 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,840 - The mask. - Oh, the mask. - ...stupid bitch. 665 00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:28,880 - I'm done! - Mel's done. 666 00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:30,880 I'm done! 667 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:32,880 Ray is done. 668 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:36,160 Ah! Ah! 669 00:42:37,080 --> 00:42:40,240 Over here, please. My balloon! 670 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:42,080 - Ray, Ray. - Don't you dare! 671 00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:46,120 If you've finished, please join me over here. 672 00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:49,520 Yeah, I'm done. - Dai has finished. 673 00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:53,280 Ah! 674 00:42:54,560 --> 00:42:57,440 Hey! Don't tackle me. - Ah! 675 00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,560 Might take my hat off, is that OK? Oi. 676 00:43:04,560 --> 00:43:07,760 Karen is done. 677 00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:12,800 Hold on. You put the bootie on. - Oh my gosh, cute! 678 00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:17,040 I'll accept it. I'll accept it. 679 00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:22,720 OK, everyone, come on down, and let's figure out who got the points. 680 00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:27,440 What a task that was. What are the scores there, Paul? 681 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:31,560 So, for that task, one point for Bubbah, two points for Karen, three points for Dai, 682 00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,840 four points for Ray and five points for Melanie Bracewell. 683 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:37,240 Well done, Mel. 684 00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:40,360 So, what does that mean for the episode score? 685 00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:48,240 It means the winner of episode one with 19 points is Melanie Bracewell! 686 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,840 Congratulations, Mel. You are now the proud owner of an orange 687 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:55,160 and Ray's epidermis, excluding his hands and face. 688 00:43:55,160 --> 00:43:58,240 Go and enjoy all those orange things! 689 00:43:59,240 --> 00:44:03,200 And that brings the first episode of season four to an end. 690 00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:07,480 We learned that Mel Bracewell crawls around on the ground like a cat, 691 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:10,320 even when nobody asked her to. 692 00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:15,720 We learned that the New Zealand version of Taskmaster will probably never air in Britain. 693 00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:20,640 But most importantly, we learned that Mel is the winner of episode one! 694 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:27,720 Thanks very much for watching. We'll see you next time. Nigh-night. 695 00:44:29,720 --> 00:44:34,120 Captions by Rebecca Scholtz. Edited by Jessie Puru. 696 00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:38,120 Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. 697 00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,200 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023 698 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:43,960 Oh no. 699 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:45,360 Oh my gosh! 700 00:44:46,120 --> 00:44:52,840 Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're watching the brain drain unfold in real time. 701 00:44:54,160 --> 00:44:56,360 Best... season... ever! 702 00:44:58,880 --> 00:45:04,080 I would be genuinely surprised if we ever see anything shitter than that, ever. 703 00:45:04,080 --> 00:45:04,960 All right? 704 00:45:04,960 --> 00:45:07,440 Thank you, Ray, Dai, Mel, Bubbah, Karen.