1 00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:02,320 (DRAMATIC FLOURISH) 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,120 - Cheehoo! 3 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,120 ('TASKMASTER' THEME) 4 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:07,400 - Oof! 5 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,840 (TYPEWRITER CLACKS) 6 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,840 - (CACKLES) 7 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:12,880 - (BURPS) 8 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,560 - Shame! 9 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,800 - (BLUBBERS) 10 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,360 - All right? 11 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,320 - Whee! 12 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,120 - (GROANS) 13 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,160 - (GIGGLES) 14 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,160 (TYPEWRITER CLACKS) 15 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,160 - (GASPS) 16 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,160 - (SHRIEKS) 17 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,920 ('TASKMASTER' THEME CONCLUDES) 18 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,360 - Say cheese. - (SIGHS) Cheese. 19 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:31,360 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 20 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,880 (TYPEWRITER CLACKS) 21 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:38,480 (DING!) 22 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:42,600 - Kia ora koutou, and welcome to Taskmaster New Zealand. 23 00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:47,520 My name is Jeremy Wells, and I'm sitting on this awe-inspiring golden throne 24 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:54,600 because thanks to some potentially career-ending photographs that I have of certain TVNZ executives, 25 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:56,600 I am the Taskmaster. 26 00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 27 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:05,200 Sometime in the past, I asked five comedians to degrade themselves on tape for my pleasure. 28 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:12,120 Tonight, we're going to watch some of those tapes to find out who, if anyone, deserves to winthis ― 29 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,120 a trophy of my head, 30 00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,400 made from lead paint and pure asbestos. 31 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,320 (LAUGHTER) 32 00:01:19,320 --> 00:01:24,360 In the running for this incredible prize is our incredible cast ― 33 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,960 Bubbah! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:27,440 --> 00:01:30,440 Dai Henwood! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:33,360 Karen O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 36 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,040 Mel Bracewell! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 37 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:39,320 And Ray O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 38 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:44,880 And by my side is a man whose determination to one day earn my respect 39 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:49,080 never ceases to make me laugh ― it's Paul Williams. 40 00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,080 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 41 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:55,680 - Thanks, Jeremy. I actually did just wanna take a second just to clear something up, 42 00:01:55,680 --> 00:02:00,800 because someone told me that there's an account on Instagram that looks exactly like me 43 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:05,280 and has my name, and it's messaging people trying to sell them Bitcoin. 44 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,520 And I just wanted to say that that is, in fact, me. 45 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:13,080 Um, please buy my Bitcoin. It's been a really hard year. 46 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:16,600 - Tell us about our prize task tonight, Paul Williams. - Sure thing, Jeremy. 47 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:23,240 For this episode, our contestants have been asked to bring in the best thing that reminds them of home. 48 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:29,240 Whoever wins the episode will take home all five things. - Let's start with Dai Henwood. 49 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:33,880 - In the words of Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson, I hope you've got your fun-derwear on. 50 00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:35,320 Um... 51 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:39,720 - Is that a direct quote? - (CHORTLES) It feels like something he'd say. 52 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:41,720 - OK, yeah. (LAUGHTER) 53 00:02:41,920 --> 00:02:44,600 - Because this makes me feel fun ― 54 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,760 it is a Japanese happi jacket... 55 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:52,080 and it's what people wear when they're feeling a bit down. 56 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:55,120 So, you put that on, and it makes you feel happy. 57 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,600 That, combined with a good pair of fun-derwear, and you've got a good time. 58 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,680 And a surprised courier. (LAUGHTER) 59 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:09,200 - Ray, what did you bring in? - I brought in my landlord. (LAUGHTER) 60 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,400 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 61 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:17,400 - I know your landlord. - You know― You― 62 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:20,920 - He used to be my English teacher. - Yeah, he― he's a teacher. (LAUGHTER) 63 00:03:20,920 --> 00:03:23,200 He's a retired teacher, yeah. - It's John Warner. 64 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:27,000 - Yeah― Oh, let's not say his name. (LAUGHTER) 65 00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:31,440 - Look how happy he is to take your money. (LAUGHTER) 66 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,440 - Karen, what did you bring in? - Funnily enough, it's not dissimilar to Ray's prize. 67 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,360 Cos when I thought about home, I thought about people. 68 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,280 I've got a son, but he's too young to appear on the show. But also, I have got a lovely partner, 69 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:45,960 so I made her a replica of our home and I got her to put it on, 70 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,080 so... (LAUGHTER) 71 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,520 That's what reminds me of home ― Eilish with her head in the roof. 72 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:56,880 But obviously, whoever wins tonight, you guys have got one good night with... 73 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,480 the cardboard box. (LAUGHTER) 74 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,960 - Bubbah, what did you bring in that reminds you of home? 75 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,960 - What I brought is this ― 76 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,280 - Some sticks. (LAUGHTER) 77 00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:14,360 - Um, so... that's like― Yeah, islanders in the audience! (LAUGHTER) 78 00:04:14,360 --> 00:04:17,080 Yeah, boy! (AUDIENCE MEMBER CALLS INDISTINCTLY) 79 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:19,080 Yeah! (LAUGHTER) 80 00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:25,640 So, this is a salu. So, you'll find this in every single Samoan home. This is basically a sweeper. 81 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,480 I used it for the first time when I was little, and I remember being like, 'holy (BLEEP), it's mean.' 82 00:04:29,480 --> 00:04:33,440 Like, it gets dust and spider webs that a vacuum can't get. 83 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,120 It's also a very good tool to get beat up with. 84 00:04:37,280 --> 00:04:39,160 (LAUGHTER) Um... 85 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,920 - Are you telling me that that salu picks up dust? 86 00:04:41,920 --> 00:04:44,040 - I don't know what― It's like magic. 87 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:48,840 You go like that, and just all the shit comes forward that you don't know was there before,like... 88 00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,240 meth. (GUFFAWS) (LAUGHTER) 89 00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:57,720 - So it's good for... - (LAUGHS) 90 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,840 - ...finding all that random meth around the house... 91 00:05:01,840 --> 00:05:05,120 (LAUGHS) and beating people up with. - (LAUGHS) 92 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:07,280 - Mel, what did you bring in? 93 00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:14,280 - When you think of memories, what is the sense that evokes the most amount of memory? 94 00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:16,960 (SNIFFS) 95 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:20,400 - The smell of― - Yes, correct. The smell. 96 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:25,560 I thought of the smell of my childhood, which is, uh, beer. 97 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,520 (LAUGHTER) And so I've turned that into a fragrance. 98 00:05:29,520 --> 00:05:31,960 - KAREN LAUGHS: What? 99 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:35,640 - That is beer in a perfume bottle. 100 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:40,800 It's been quite good, cos I've been living in Australia for quite some time, and then I just have to go... 101 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,640 (IMITATES SPRITZING) 'Oh, Dad.' You know? 102 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,920 (LAUGHTER) 103 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:49,520 - Well, I need to judge these, and I'll give you one point, Mel, 104 00:05:49,520 --> 00:05:52,720 because you could have just got a bottle of beer rather than chucking it in a perfume thing, 105 00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:55,280 and just― you can just whack it on yourself. 106 00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:59,400 - Damn it ― I genuinely did just bring in beer... (LAUGHTER) 107 00:05:59,400 --> 00:06:03,560 ...and then at the last minute I was like, 'Oh, that's so boring. I'll put it in a perfume bottle,' 108 00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,560 and that's (BLEEP) me. 109 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,760 - Two points for you, Bubbah, with your magic salu― - But it's a magic salu. 110 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,320 - And that's why it gets two points. 111 00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,120 Three points for you, Karen. 112 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:19,400 And I'm gonna go three points for you as well, Ray, with John Warner, 113 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:24,320 and then four for Dai for his jacket. Happi jacket. (APPLAUSE) 114 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:28,720 Why don't we dive into a proper task and see what these guys are really made of? 115 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:34,120 - Good idea, Jeremy. First task ― let's hope they don't blow this. 116 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:36,120 (KOOKY MUSIC) 117 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,560 Hello, Bubbah. - Hello, you. 118 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:46,640 - Once again, lovely to see you. - Likewise. 119 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,360 - Hey, Paul. - Hello, Karen. 120 00:06:48,360 --> 00:06:51,680 - Balloons! I used to do balloon twisting. 121 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:54,280 - What could you make? - Uh, dog. 122 00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:57,920 One time, a kid asked me for a scorpion. That was hard. 123 00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:00,080 - Oh no. - Why'd you say 'Oh no'? 124 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,560 - I'm really bad at blowing up balloons. 125 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:07,400 'Get as many balloons on the desk as you can.' 126 00:07:07,400 --> 00:07:08,480 Oh no. 127 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:13,160 - 'Each balloon must be blown up, have a face, and a name.' 128 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:19,680 - 'If a balloon falls off, you must get on your knees and mourn it before placing it back on.' 129 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:24,040 - 'Most balloons on the desk after 10 minutes wins. My time starts...' 130 00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,800 - Hold on, hold on. I've got a question. 131 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:30,200 Can I glue it to the desk? - Finish reading the task, please. 132 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:31,560 No, stay― - Your time starts now! 133 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:34,680 (APPLAUSE) 134 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:41,960 - So, blow up balloons, give them faces and names, and then grieve them if they fall off thetable. 135 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:46,840 A classic Taskmaster task. Who's first? - It's Karen 'Blow-airy'. 136 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,840 (LAUGHTER) 137 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,120 Quite a small balloon. - That makes sense, doesn't it? 138 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:57,040 Cos then I don't have to use as much lung power. - OK. 139 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:03,360 I noticed they don't have faces. - I've got a system ― blow first. Always blow first. 140 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,640 Better start putting some faces on, eh? 141 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:08,680 That's Paul. 142 00:08:08,680 --> 00:08:09,680 Anthony. 143 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:10,720 There's Anne. 144 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:12,440 Steve. 145 00:08:12,440 --> 00:08:15,880 Why does that one wanna go away? - She has a name. 146 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,880 50 seconds. 147 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:19,640 - Violet. 148 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,400 - 35 seconds. 149 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:22,240 - Terry. 150 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,640 (FAN WHIRRS SOFTLY, AUDIENCE TITTERS) 151 00:08:24,640 --> 00:08:26,480 Oh, f... 152 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:28,480 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 153 00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:30,000 (MOURNFUL MUSIC) 154 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,760 - Mourn them, please. You've got 20 seconds left. 155 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,840 - Oh, I'm so sorry that you― on the thing, Grace. 156 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,880 But I still can't― They're just gonna blow off again. - Seven seconds. 157 00:08:38,880 --> 00:08:43,560 - Oh, I'm really sad that you fell off. I'm so― apologies. 158 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,920 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 159 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:47,920 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 160 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,200 That was a wase of my time. 161 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:55,600 (AUDIENCE WHOOPS) 162 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,560 - That doesn't count. - Skills. That― nah, it's gotta count! 163 00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,880 That was such a good trick. 164 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:00,920 - I will admit it was skilled... - Yeah, well then― 165 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:02,000 - ...but it doesn't count. 166 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:05,520 - You were a little bit impressed. - I was― I was extremely impressed. 167 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,560 Happy with that? - CHUCKLES: No. 168 00:09:07,560 --> 00:09:08,720 I didn't look up, 169 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:13,240 and I didn't see that sign saying the fans are gonna turn on in nine minutes and 30 seconds. 170 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:17,120 And had I seen that, I would have done something differently. 171 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,320 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 172 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,320 - Ah, yes. 173 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,240 Yes. 174 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:26,480 How did you feel, Karen, when the fans came on? 175 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,160 - I felt, um... disheartened and windswept. 176 00:09:30,520 --> 00:09:33,160 - How many balloons did Karen end up with on the desk? 177 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:34,240 - So, four. 178 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:38,280 - You're not telling me that blue amazing stomp kick that went on to the table shouldn't havecounted? 179 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,000 (AUDIENCE WHOOPS) 180 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,920 Thank you, whoever that was. (LAUGHTER) 181 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,920 The people have spoken. 182 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,920 - No, I think four was fair. - OK. 183 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:51,440 - Some scream from the audience here randomly does not give you another balloon. That's not the way it works. 184 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:55,440 Coming up, more compelling footage of comedians not looking up. 185 00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,640 But first, we have to pay for all these balloons somehow, so here's some ads. We'll see you ina moment. 186 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:01,640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 187 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,200 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 188 00:10:07,320 --> 00:10:09,320 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 189 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:16,560 - Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back. Paul, please bring us up to speed with where we are. 190 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:23,080 - Our contestants are attempting a task where they must blow up, draw faces on, name and mourn balloons. 191 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:26,960 Whoever ends the task with the most balloons on the desk wins. 192 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:32,720 Unfortunately, just like myself, these balloons must contend with some pretty big fans. 193 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:33,760 (LAUGHTER) 194 00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:40,240 Let's watch Dai-Mel-Bubbah try-fill-rubber balloons with air. (LAUGHTER) 195 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:45,600 - Here's some tape. It's gonna help it― stop it from falling off. 196 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:49,920 - Work harder, not smarter, Paul. - Isn't it the opposite? 197 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:53,800 - What did I say? - I think you said 'Work harder, not smarter.' 198 00:10:53,800 --> 00:10:55,520 - Oh, yeah, I got that wrong. 199 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,600 (TAPE CRACKLES) 200 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:01,680 - Does that first balloon have a name? - Ah, yup. Jared. 201 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:04,240 - And what about that one? - Uh, Paul. 202 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,280 - This is Paul. - Who's that named after? 203 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:10,520 - Paul Ego. (BALLOON TOOTS, AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 204 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:12,400 (POP!) 205 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:18,240 - This one's called Leo, and I'm gonna call the other one Michelangelo, right? 206 00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:19,680 Oh no! 207 00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:23,840 Um... For my fallen soldiers, I mourn you, and I love you. 208 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:28,520 - Blake. Amy. Genesis. Suzy. Lance. Angel. Jared. Paul. 209 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,640 - What's Angel's story? - Uh, she's a pastor's daughter. 210 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:34,600 - You've got four minutes 20. 211 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:36,560 - All of these girls are called Jess. 212 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:40,160 - What about this one? - This one's called Jessica. 213 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:42,160 - 30 seconds. 214 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,080 (FAN WHIRRS SOFTLY, PEN SQUEAKS) 215 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:50,400 - Don't know why I wasn't working at this pace... 216 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,160 (SHOCKED LAUGHTER) 217 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,160 (FAN WHIRRS SOFTLY) 218 00:11:54,760 --> 00:11:56,760 - (CHUCKLES MOCKINGLY) 219 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,560 (LAUGHTER) 220 00:11:58,560 --> 00:11:59,920 Ha ha (!) (APPLAUSE) 221 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:00,840 Ha ha (!) 222 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:03,640 - It's a little bit windy in here, eh? 223 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,800 - I'm so sorry, Jess. I'm so sorry, Jess. 224 00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,760 Jess, I'm so sorry. 225 00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:12,320 - Anthony, you know... I love you, my friend. 226 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,840 - 15 seconds. 227 00:12:13,840 --> 00:12:15,240 - (CHUCKLES) 228 00:12:15,240 --> 00:12:16,160 Ha ha. 229 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:19,680 - Jess, I'm so sorry. I knew there was some shit going on. 230 00:12:19,680 --> 00:12:23,360 - What's your name? Lucy. You'll always have my heart. I love you to the stars. 231 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:25,680 Charlie ― absolute legend, my man. 232 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:29,160 Tennille. I mourn your loss, and sorry to see you go. 233 00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:32,600 Tulsi, these things happen, but I've got your back. 234 00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,880 (WHISTLE BLOWS) I'll see you in the universe. 235 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:38,080 Tino Fa'asuamaleaui didn't even make it on. 236 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,160 - You happy with that? - Hell yeah. 237 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,200 I knew you were gonna do something like that. 238 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,280 - Happy with that. Happy with that. I finally don't feel stupid. 239 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,280 (APPLAUSE) 240 00:12:51,920 --> 00:12:55,160 - How did you guys know to use tape when you didn't know about the fans? 241 00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:58,560 - Well, it just eliminates the possibility of it falling on the floor at any point. 242 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:02,040 - I trusted my balloon-balancing skills. - And you shouldn't have. 243 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:04,480 (LAUGHTER) - Fair call. 244 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:08,520 - Dai, did you ever manage to figure out where the wind was coming from? You didn't even seem to― 245 00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,520 (LAUGHTER) 246 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:18,520 - I was very deep. Just thinking about names was my main thing. I have― My children were named there. 247 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:21,120 CHUCKLES: Your wife, for some reason, was one of the balloons. 248 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,560 - (STAMMERS) What did you... You said 'I'm sorry for what happened.' 249 00:13:24,560 --> 00:13:27,920 - CHUCKLES: Yeah. We can't go into that, but... (LAUGHTER) 250 00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:32,680 - Bubbah, the look on your face ― that is the definition of a shit-eating grin right there. 251 00:13:32,680 --> 00:13:34,160 (LAUGHTER, CHEERING) 252 00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,560 You were so happy with yourself. 253 00:13:36,560 --> 00:13:40,640 - I knew, because after that glitter incident, I was like, 'They're gonna try trick me.' 254 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:44,480 - I'd like to just reinforce there was no trick with the glitter. - Yeah, OK. 255 00:13:44,480 --> 00:13:46,480 (LAUGHTER) 256 00:13:46,840 --> 00:13:50,360 - So, Dai had nine balloons on the desk at the end of the time; 257 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,800 Bubbah, 19. (SCATTERED CHEERS) 258 00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,760 Mel, 26. - ALL: Ooh! 259 00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:57,840 (APPLAUSE) - Great work. 260 00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:03,040 Now, that must mean that we've got one comedian left. 261 00:14:03,040 --> 00:14:04,520 (LAUGHTER) 262 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:10,200 And ever since you introduced this task, I have been looking forward to this person's attempt. 263 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:14,280 - Famous for his lung capacity, it's Ray O'Leary. 264 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:20,600 - I don't think I've ever blown up a balloon and tied it up before in my life. 265 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,800 (BALLOON SQUEAKS FEEBLY) 266 00:14:24,240 --> 00:14:26,240 (LAUGHTER) 267 00:14:28,880 --> 00:14:30,000 Is this good? 268 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:33,920 Now to try tie it up after having... blown it. 269 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:37,400 - Would you say that's blown up? - I would say it's blownin. 270 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,360 How do you tie up a balloon? Do you tw― you twist the top? 271 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,960 - You've never tied a balloon before? 272 00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:44,040 - I've never tied a balloon in my life. 273 00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,320 (RUBBER STRETCHES, SNAPS) 274 00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:54,520 OK, that's just one that― that came undone, but it doesn't say I have to tie them. 275 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,240 OK, so that one's Jeremy. (TAPE SNAPS) 276 00:14:57,240 --> 00:14:58,880 - You're scared that's gonna fall off? 277 00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:03,200 - Yeah, I'm scared a balloon this buoyant might bump into another balloon and fall off. 278 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:05,200 (RUBBER SQUEAKS) 279 00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:07,920 Is there, like, a technique to blowing them up? 280 00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,520 (AIR PUFFS) - 30 seconds. 281 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:14,400 - OK. I don't have time to figure it out. (FAN WHIRRS SOFTLY) 282 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:15,640 What's going― 283 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:17,040 Oh. Oh, I see. 284 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:20,880 Did any of them fall over? I don't think so, cos they're all taped to the desk. 285 00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,080 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 286 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,080 I, um... feel, um... 287 00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,120 really good about that. 288 00:15:26,120 --> 00:15:32,120 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) I mean, it's the saddest kids' party you've ever seen. 289 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,120 (APPLAUSE) 290 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:39,320 - So, Paul and I always knew that there was a hidden challenge in that particular task 291 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,760 in the form of some fans. 292 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:47,080 What we didn't realise is that the challenge for you was going to be actually blowing up a balloon. 293 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,080 (LAUGHTER) 294 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:53,320 - When do― When are you meant to learn to blow up balloons? 295 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:56,480 - It's just one of those things you learn, like walking. 296 00:15:56,480 --> 00:16:00,160 (LAUGHTER) And sort of just― They generally come pretty naturally ― 297 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,600 talking, and... you know. - But you've seen me walk. 298 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:05,600 (LAUGHTER) 299 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:06,680 Do any of those count? 300 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:08,680 - No. - No. - Oh, come on. 301 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:11,920 - Jeremy, what do you think? Do we accept Ray's balloons? 302 00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:13,600 - I think we should. - DAI: Yeah. 303 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,520 - I― (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 304 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:20,600 Seriously, it's just a case― As horrific as that was to watch, 305 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:24,400 the guy was trying to blow them up, some air went in them, you know. 306 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:30,680 - So, with Ray's balloons counting, that takes him to 14, which leaps him into third place. 307 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:32,960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 308 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:35,520 So that means one point for Karen... - Yes! 309 00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,640 - ...two for Dai, three for Ray, four for Bubbah, 310 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:43,440 and five points for Mel Bracewell. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 311 00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:47,000 - Paul, are we allowed a cheeky little peek at the scoreboard? 312 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,680 - It's a four-way tie currently. 313 00:16:49,880 --> 00:16:54,520 In joint first equal with six points, it's Bubbah, Dai, Mel and Ray. 314 00:16:54,520 --> 00:16:56,520 (APPLAUSE) - Whoa. OK. 315 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:02,880 I think we all need a breather after that. Ray's still tired from trying to blow up those balloons 316 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:07,360 about three months ago. We'll see you in a moment. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 317 00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,360 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 318 00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:14,560 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 319 00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:17,360 (APPLAUSE) 320 00:17:17,360 --> 00:17:22,200 - Welcome back to Taskmaster ― the only show on television where you can win a person 321 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,640 and also another person. 322 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:28,360 Paul, do we have another task loaded up? - We sure do, Jeremy. 323 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:35,640 And please note that this task was filmed before the team tasks, so not everyone had met. 324 00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:37,640 (KOOKY MUSIC) 325 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,440 (PLASTIC RUSTLES) 326 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:44,720 - Well, that's cool. 327 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:46,840 (KNOCKING ON DOOR) - Oh, you can come in. 328 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,800 (DOOR CREAKS) Oh, this way. 329 00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,560 - I'll come round the― - It's a push. 330 00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:52,400 - Oh, is it a push? - Yeah. 331 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:54,520 - Oh, there we go. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 332 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:55,960 - Hello. - Hello. 333 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,160 - Wassup? 334 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:00,920 - I know these people. - Rank them from favourite to least favourite. 335 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,520 - That's― No, you can't say― 336 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,360 Shall we do this one? - Yeah, OK. 337 00:18:05,360 --> 00:18:09,520 - He's getting drunk with power. Make me do whatever he wants. 338 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,880 Little freak. (CHUCKLES) (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 339 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,880 - READS: 'Become another contestant.' 340 00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,880 - 'Best becoming of another contestant wins.' 341 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:21,560 - 'If you become the same contestant as somebody else, your points will be halved.' 342 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:25,480 - 'You must emerge through a door as your chosen contestant in 20 minutes.' 343 00:18:25,480 --> 00:18:28,560 - 'Your time... starts... now.' 344 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,840 - Do you know any of the other contestants? - Uh, not― No. 345 00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:34,640 - Who's this? - Uhh.... 346 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:36,520 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 347 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:38,520 ...Karen. 348 00:18:38,520 --> 00:18:40,520 (APPLAUSE) - (LAUGHS) 349 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:45,800 - So, obviously not familiar with the New Zealand comedy scene there, Bubbah. 350 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,880 - No. (LAUGHTER) 351 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:49,440 I didn't know anyone except― I had met you. 352 00:18:49,440 --> 00:18:52,640 - Do you remember his name? (LAUGHTER) 353 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,360 - Whose impressions are we gonna be blessed with seeing first, Paul? 354 00:18:57,360 --> 00:19:03,280 - They're the wise elders of season four of Taskmaster New Zealand ― it's Dai and Karen. 355 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,680 - Dai? 356 00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,560 He's way shorter than me. - Right. - It's not gonna work. 357 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:11,160 - Physically, me and Mel are, you know, the same. 358 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:15,200 - So, so far you've said Ray you think is too obvious and everyone will pick him? 359 00:19:15,200 --> 00:19:18,520 - Yeah, but maybe because of that, no one will pick him. - Right. 360 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:24,120 - Bubbah I could pull off, but then that could go drastically wrong. 361 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:30,160 - Tonight, Paul, I'm gonna be Ray O'Leary. (AUDIENCE CHEERS, APPLAUDS) 362 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:35,680 - DAINTILY: Tonight, Paul, I'm going to be Melanie Bracewell. 363 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,160 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) 364 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:41,120 (STAND-UP STYLE MUSIC) 365 00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,360 (CRASH!) 366 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,000 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 367 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,800 Hi, Paul. I'm Melanie Bracewell. 368 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:53,720 - Hello, Mel. 369 00:19:54,120 --> 00:19:57,320 - HESITANTLY: Um, hello. My name's Ray O'Leary. 370 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:03,440 The other day, a friend of mine asked me, uh... if I'd be interested in watching the sunrise, 371 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:08,400 and I thought to myself that... that sounds like something that would be interesting 372 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:09,280 to a moth. 373 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:11,960 - I'm 6'2, 374 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:13,960 I enjoy netball, 375 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,520 and I'm quite a big deal in Australia. 376 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:17,920 - Favourite food? 377 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,400 - Uh... 378 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,640 coconut oil. 379 00:20:20,640 --> 00:20:22,680 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - Straight coconut oil? 380 00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:23,960 - I panicked. 381 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,960 - Uh, my favourite movie is... um... 382 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:28,720 What We Do in the Shadows. 383 00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:34,080 - That's interesting, cos Karen O'Leary, who's also on the show, she starred in that. 384 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:37,600 - Yeah, I'm aware of that, cos... she's my sister and my partner. 385 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,680 - Biological sister? - Yes. 386 00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,720 - I don't know if you guys should be partners. 387 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,080 - I'd like to say a shout out 388 00:20:46,080 --> 00:20:48,080 to the... Silver Ferns, 389 00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:52,200 and um... a big hurrah to the Southern Sting. 390 00:20:52,440 --> 00:20:57,360 - Are they your favourite teams? - Yeah, they're the teams I can remember. 391 00:20:57,360 --> 00:21:00,880 - What are your parents' names? - I don't like to talk about my parents. 392 00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,920 - OK, why is that? - We're estranged. 393 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:06,400 - Oh. What happened? - I started going out with my sister. 394 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,880 - And they didn't like that? - For some reason, no. 395 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:14,560 - Thank you, Mel. - That's OK, Paul. Have a great evening. 396 00:21:15,360 --> 00:21:17,760 - Thank you. - Thank you, Ray. 397 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:23,360 Dai, are you still behind the door? - Maybe. 398 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,440 - You can go now. - Thanks. Thanks, mate. 399 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,360 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 400 00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:33,920 - Very good. 401 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:38,800 Karen, was it just easier to stay O'Leary? - Absolutely. 402 00:21:38,800 --> 00:21:40,680 I thought, you know, stick with what you know. 403 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:43,600 And also, again, I think we've got quite a similar kind of look. 404 00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,120 - Stick with what you know is why we've started dating. 405 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:48,600 (LAUGHTER) - CHUCKLES: Yeah. 406 00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:53,200 - Dai... you toyed with the idea of impersonating Bubbah, but then you said, 407 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:56,600 'No, I might get myself into trouble here.' What was your thinking behind that? 408 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,320 (LAUGHTER) 409 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:03,120 - Well, you know, if we look at the history of blackface... 410 00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:05,120 (LAUGHTER) 411 00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:09,200 ...and we weigh up the pros and the cons... 412 00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,040 the cons tend to... 413 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,040 be 100%, 414 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:20,400 so I thought, 'Let's go with a tall white woman instead.' (GIGGLES) 415 00:22:20,480 --> 00:22:25,600 - You seemed to overlook quite a large part of Mel's persona, and that's her height. 416 00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,680 You remained at the same height, which is interesting. 417 00:22:28,680 --> 00:22:34,040 - Yeah, but the thing is, I just focused on every other detail being picture perfect. 418 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:34,920 (LAUGHTER) 419 00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,040 - (CHUCKLES) All right, who have we got next? 420 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,960 - They're the spring chickens of Taskmaster New Zealand season four ― 421 00:22:40,960 --> 00:22:43,800 it's Bubbah, Mel and Ray. (APPLAUSE) 422 00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:44,880 - Tonight, Paul... 423 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:46,080 - ...I'm gonna be... 424 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:50,480 - ALL: ...Dai Henwood. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS, APPLAUDS) 425 00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:54,640 (STAND-UP STYLE MUSIC) 426 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,200 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - DAI: Oh, fu― 427 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,000 - Hello, Dai. - Oh, 'ello, Jeremy. 428 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,320 Excited to be here. Tonight on Team Two, we've got Ray O'Leary and Paul Williams. 429 00:23:14,320 --> 00:23:19,600 I'm more excited than a― than a Chihuahua who's ripping a Slinky from underneath a grove. 430 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,760 I'm gonna go punch a sleeping bag later. 431 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:24,840 - Go the bloody Warriors! 432 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:26,680 (PAPER WUB-WUBS) 433 00:23:26,680 --> 00:23:28,720 - Is the name Dai short for something? 434 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,440 - Uh, yep. Die hard. - Die hard? - Die hard. 435 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,960 - And your middle name? - Uh, Really. 436 00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,760 First name Duffin. 437 00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:39,160 - So, what's your full name? - Duffin Die Really Hard. 438 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:40,840 - W-What's your favourite movie? 439 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:44,800 - Oh, anything with the bloody Vodafone Warriors in it, I tell you what. 440 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,160 - Did you break that umbrella? - Uh, yeah. 441 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,320 Doesn't matter, I'm... rich. 442 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:53,920 - How'd you get so rich? - Uh, just the greatest comedian alive in New Zealand. 443 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:55,080 - In New Zealand? - Yeah. 444 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,080 - Billy T, Shmilly Shnee. 445 00:23:57,080 --> 00:24:01,080 - Shmilly Shmee? - Yeah. Billy T, Shmilly Shmee. 446 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:04,440 - What is this? 447 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:06,720 - CHUCKLES: A jig. - A jig? 448 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:11,880 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - You know I love to dance. 449 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:15,520 - If you had to pick a contestant to impersonate, who would you pick? 450 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,920 - I'd pick Melanie and I'd get on stilts. She's massive. She's a giant freak. 451 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:26,360 - And you would make fun of that? - Whatever she does to make fun of me is now no longer offensive, 452 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:29,200 cos I've said she's a stupid little bitch freak. 453 00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:31,400 (LAUGHTER) - Dai, I don't think you should say that kind of thing about Mel. 454 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:36,040 - I'd love to stay and chat with you, but... I've got a... an... 455 00:24:36,040 --> 00:24:38,480 a viewing. - A viewing? - Yeah. 456 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,080 - What do you mean? - Uh, looking at some real estate. 457 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,520 - Buying or selling? - Uh, both. 458 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,480 - You're buying and selling real estate? - Yeah. 459 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,520 That's why I wear these suits. - OK. 460 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,560 - Yeah. I've gotta go. 461 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:51,520 - Thank you, Dai. - Thanks, Paul. 462 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:52,800 - Thanks, Paul. 463 00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,720 Oh, God. 464 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:54,880 - (SIGHS) 465 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:58,640 - You OK, Dai? - Yeah, yeah, I've just had a growth spurt. 466 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:00,640 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 467 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:04,600 (CHEERING) 468 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:14,000 - Bubbah, first of all, you gave me a real sort of kaumatua, 469 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,360 Maori elder sort of vibe. - Because I thought you were Maori, remember? 470 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:22,000 - Oh, yeah! (LAUGHS) Yeah. - KAREN LAUGHS: You did! No wonder! 471 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,840 - Can I just ask, Bubbah, why was Dai going to open homes? 472 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:28,040 Do you think he's involved in real estate? 473 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:32,080 - I don't know. I thought, 'What do people with money do?' (LAUGHTER) 474 00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,040 - CHUCKLES: I live in Avondale. - (GUFFAWS) 475 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:41,120 - Also, Ray ― when did you think I look like a used car salesman? (LAUGHTER) 476 00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:45,160 - I didn't recognise at first that that was even you, Ray. - No, no. 477 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:48,640 - I-I... The role consumed me. (LAUGHTER) 478 00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:53,400 - OK, I think all three Dais deserve two points each. 479 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,840 - Is that pre-halved or post-halved? - Exactly what I was about to ask. 480 00:25:56,840 --> 00:25:58,600 - Uh, that's pre-halved. - OK. 481 00:25:58,600 --> 00:25:59,960 - Yeah, that's... (AUDIENCE 'OOH'S) 482 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,040 - So two points, halved ― one point each. 483 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:03,680 - Yeah, one point each. - OK. 484 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:05,280 - Dai, three points 485 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:07,000 for your Mel. 486 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,160 It was basically, you just had some women's clothes and a wig on, and the rest of it was justyou. 487 00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:16,360 And then I reckon four for you, Karen, because I think that was the best impersonation, was Ray. 488 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:18,360 (APPLAUSE) Well done. 489 00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,440 Paul, do you think it's time for another task? 490 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:27,840 - Jeremy, asking me that has made me the happiest man in the world. 491 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,040 I do. 492 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:35,360 - Paul? 493 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,080 - (SIGHS) 494 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:39,320 - Ooh! 495 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:41,560 I always knew Paul had the hots for me. 496 00:26:41,560 --> 00:26:43,200 - Oh, cute. 497 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,520 - I'm presuming this is, like, a clue. 498 00:26:45,520 --> 00:26:47,520 - Quite romantic. 499 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,520 - Am I missing it? 500 00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:52,040 Is this the task? Are we doing it? 501 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:53,720 - This is what it's like to be loved. 502 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,720 - Oh, there's― Oh! 503 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,960 I guess we'll follow these. 504 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,240 - Paul. You shouldn't have. 505 00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:04,520 - What do you want? - Will you take this task? 506 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,200 - Yes. OK. A thousand times, yes. 507 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:08,600 - Thank you. 508 00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,360 (GRUNTS) 509 00:27:12,160 --> 00:27:13,520 - 'Get married'? 510 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:15,040 - READS: 'You cannot marry Paul.' 511 00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:17,760 Well, this is― it's ridiculous. You know that's what I want. 512 00:27:17,760 --> 00:27:19,440 - 'Best wedding wins.' 513 00:27:19,440 --> 00:27:20,880 - 'You have 30 minutes.' 514 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:23,120 - 'Your time starts... now.' 515 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:26,520 TO CREW: Will any of youse marry me? - We need them to film it. 516 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:27,400 - Oh, yeah. 517 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:32,200 - When I was a child, I was at a dinner and I was dinging the glass, and my friend was like, 518 00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:33,960 'Why are you dinging the glass? You have an announcement?' 519 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,240 And I told her 'I'm getting married to my hand.' 520 00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:39,080 So maybe I could marry my hand. - OK. 521 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:44,680 - I'm gonna need to get a plane from LA so that my partner can come here. 522 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,760 - In 30 minutes? - Dammit. 523 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,560 (CLATTERING) - Damn, my bride's falling apart. 524 00:27:50,560 --> 00:27:53,000 - Wait, I can marry myself, eh? People do that. 525 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,400 - Probably. - Yeah. 526 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,840 - And where would you like to get married? Do you know? - I'm gonna have a look. 527 00:27:57,840 --> 00:27:58,920 - OK. - Can I scout? 528 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,320 I'm location scouting. - OK. 529 00:28:01,320 --> 00:28:03,320 (APPLAUSE) 530 00:28:04,160 --> 00:28:09,760 - Lovely romantic task, this one. Whose beautiful ceremony do we have the honour of seeing first, Paul? 531 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:16,880 - He's our only married contestant, so if you're Dai's wife, avert your eyes ― it's Dai Henwood. 532 00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:19,320 - What would a dude in his mid-forties marry? 533 00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:23,000 I know what a dude in his mid-forties would marry ― 534 00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,000 some golf clubs. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 535 00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,000 You see where I'm going with this? 536 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:32,280 What do you reckon the chances are of getting Flo Rida here in 25 minutes? 537 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:34,720 - Well, I assume he's probably in Florida. 538 00:28:34,720 --> 00:28:37,880 - If I can't get him here, can I play a Flo Rida song? 539 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:42,440 - We probably can't afford a Flo Rida song, but we could get some royalty-free music. 540 00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,920 - I would love royalty-free Flo Rida. - OK. 541 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:48,480 # R-Ready or not, 542 00:28:48,760 --> 00:28:50,760 # Tell 'em here I come. 543 00:28:50,960 --> 00:28:52,960 # R-Ready or not, 544 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:54,880 # Tell 'em here I come. 545 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:56,960 # We gotta p-push the limit. 546 00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:58,920 # We gotta p-push the limit. 547 00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:03,280 # We gotta p-push the limit, p-push the limit, p-push the limit. # 548 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:07,560 FAINTLY THROUGH TABLET: # We gotta p-push the lim― # 549 00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:11,120 - Um... 550 00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:18,640 We gather here today to bear witness to the wedding of Shushana and Dai. 551 00:29:18,640 --> 00:29:20,280 They'll now do the vows. 552 00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:26,200 - I will be there through death, before death, and after death. I love you, Shushawna. 553 00:29:26,200 --> 00:29:27,760 Shushana, sorry. 554 00:29:27,760 --> 00:29:29,760 Can I have the rrring? 555 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:31,680 Shushawna... 556 00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:34,320 Shushana. Sorry, it really does catch on the tongue. 557 00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:38,120 Will you take me to be your― your― your other half? 558 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:40,120 And will you be my middy? 559 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:42,840 Peace. 560 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:44,840 - Did she agree? 561 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,200 - Oh, yeah. 562 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:48,800 - Thank you, Dai. - See you later, Paul. 563 00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,280 Oof, you're heavy. Oh, shit, sorry. 564 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,920 This is just what happened to my first wife. 565 00:29:53,920 --> 00:29:58,000 Let's just put you there, and let's just run away. 566 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:00,280 (APPLAUSE) 567 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,520 - Boy, there's a lot to unpack there, isn't there? - (CHUCKLES) 568 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:09,920 - You know, the worst thing was that as you left, you were saying to Shushana, 569 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,200 'You're a little bit heavy.' Never a good line at a wedding. 570 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:16,280 And then when Shushana fell to bits, you just took off. 571 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,440 - You know, sometimes, you gotta know when to hold 'em... 572 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:23,920 (CHUCKLES) you gotta know when to fold 'em... 573 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:26,520 and you gotta know when to run away. (CHUCKLES) 574 00:30:26,520 --> 00:30:29,640 - If you're in the market for a new vacuum cleaner or insurance company, 575 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:33,080 I would pay attention to the next bit ― it's the ads ― 576 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:37,440 and we'll see you soon with more Taskmaster. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 577 00:30:37,440 --> 00:30:39,440 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 578 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:44,600 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 579 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:50,880 - Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back. It's nice to have your company. Where are we at, Paul? 580 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:56,160 - We're watching people get married for our entertainment, in what I believe is a televisionfirst. 581 00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,840 - Whose freaky wife or husband are we going to meet next, Paul? 582 00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:04,240 - You are hereby invited to the wedding of Karen O'Leary. 583 00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:06,720 - So, can I get my partner on FaceTime? 584 00:31:06,720 --> 00:31:08,120 - If you want. - Yeah. 585 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,400 - And if they don't mind being involved. 586 00:31:11,400 --> 00:31:13,560 - It's marrying me, why would you not wanna be involved in that? 587 00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:15,320 Eilish. - Yeah. 588 00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,240 - You may start the music, please. 589 00:31:17,240 --> 00:31:21,840 - (PLAYS WAGNER'S 'BRIDAL CHORUS') (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 590 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,040 (PLAYS JAZZY LICK) 591 00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:34,680 - Eilish. Um, obviously, I'm very excited to be here today to marry you. 592 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:39,000 You know, you're an amazing person, and I've actually written you a very special song. 593 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:43,840 TUNE OF 'TWO METRES PLEASE': # I do love you. I do love you. Marrying today is what I willdo. 594 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:48,840 # I do love you. I do love you. Marrying today is what I will do. 595 00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:51,600 # You make me so happy, make me smile every day, 596 00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:54,520 # even though currently you live over, over, in LA. 597 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,800 # I can't wait to be married to you for the rest of my life. 598 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:02,480 # Please, my darling Eilish, will you please be my wife? # 599 00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:04,520 (AUDIENCE 'AWW'S) Will you take my hand in marriage? 600 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:07,800 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) - I will. - Thank you. 601 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,280 Now we can kiss. 602 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,600 (MWAH!) 603 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,400 (CEREAL CLATTERS) - Sorry. 604 00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:18,520 - That's good. More, more. (CEREAL CLATTERS) Keep going. 605 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:20,920 - Oop, sorry. - My bouquet! I've gotta throw the bouquet. 606 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:22,240 Three... - OK. 607 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,240 - BOTH: two... one. 608 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,600 (AUDIENCE CHEERS) - You got it! Congratulations, Paul. 609 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:30,040 - Thank you. - Thank you so much. 610 00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:32,720 (GUITAR DONKS) Ooh, dangerous. 611 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,240 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 612 00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:38,160 - BUBBAH: That was actually so sweet! 613 00:32:38,160 --> 00:32:40,680 - WHINES: You actually mad me sad. It was so sweet! 614 00:32:40,680 --> 00:32:45,240 - This is the same woman that you've offered up as a prize this morning. (LAUGHTER) 615 00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:47,960 - Well it's ironic it happens to be the same episode. 616 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:52,120 - For some reason, it just felt a little bit more heartfelt than Dai's. 617 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:54,120 (LAUGHTER) - I don't know. 618 00:32:54,120 --> 00:32:58,520 I mean, with a bit of Flo Rida, that would have been perfect. 619 00:32:58,520 --> 00:33:03,000 - Whose beautiful event are you going to awkwardly hover around next, Paul? 620 00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:07,960 - He's always worn a suit just in case this exact situation ever arose ― 621 00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,600 it's Ray O'Leary. 622 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:12,040 - (SINGS WAGNER'S 'WEDDING CHORUS') 623 00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:15,080 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) Oh, dear. (RESUMES SINGING) 624 00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:17,280 Oh, no. (RESUMES SINGING) 625 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:22,000 (SOFT THUD) All right, it'll have to do. 626 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:27,360 - We gather here for the special day of Ray O'Leary... 627 00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:29,800 - Uh, and um... Fenella. - ...and Fenella. 628 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:34,480 - Fenella, I've loved you since the day we met, which was earlier today. 629 00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,760 We went on this hunting trip 630 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,960 with this lion, which is also my best man. 631 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:44,880 And even though you're severely... dismembered, 632 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,000 you still look as beautiful as the day I met you, 633 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,200 which was slightly before the dismemberment. 634 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:52,640 - Does anyone object? 635 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,200 - FALSETTO: 'Oh! I blimmin' object! 636 00:33:55,200 --> 00:33:57,200 'That― his best man 637 00:33:57,520 --> 00:34:02,200 'disfigured Fenella earlier today at the hunting trip, 638 00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,440 'and so that's why she's, you know... and so this is a bad marriage! 639 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,040 'You understand the logic of why I'm objecting?' 640 00:34:08,040 --> 00:34:13,040 - Because his best man dismembered the bride earlier in the day. 641 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,040 - NORMAL VOICE: 'Yeah.' (FALSETTO) 'Yeah!' 642 00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:16,720 No, honey, it's not true. 643 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,680 (THWACK!) (MOANS) 644 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,680 Oh, no, my love! No! 645 00:34:21,800 --> 00:34:24,080 Beautiful and melodramatic wedding. 646 00:34:24,080 --> 00:34:26,080 Oh. 647 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,080 (APPLAUSE) 648 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:37,960 - I would be genuinely surprised if we ever see anything shitter than that, ever. 649 00:34:38,440 --> 00:34:40,440 (LAUGHTER) 650 00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:46,120 - LAUGHS: You don't think it was just as heartfelt as Karen's? 651 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:51,360 - Can I just say, I was there on the day, and I'm actually impressed with how that turnedout. 652 00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,360 (LAUGHTER) 653 00:34:54,680 --> 00:35:02,880 - Who's next, Paul? Hopefully it's a slightly happier one than Ray's. - It's time for a Bubbahbath. 654 00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:09,240 (ROMANTIC MUSIC) 655 00:35:09,240 --> 00:35:10,920 - Look at her go. 656 00:35:10,920 --> 00:35:14,240 Wow, absolute (BLEEP) hottie. (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 657 00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:17,800 From the gutter to the block butter. Whoo-hoo! 658 00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:19,800 Hello, me. 659 00:35:21,280 --> 00:35:23,680 Hi. I'm so glad you showed up. 660 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:25,560 (WATER SLOSHES) 661 00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:27,760 - We're gathered here today 662 00:35:27,760 --> 00:35:29,960 to witness the wedding of Bubbah... 663 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,720 and Bubbah. 664 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:33,440 Please do your vows. 665 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,400 - Um... cool. It's been cool as knowing you. 666 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:41,760 My first memory of you is when we were at that house in Mangere and you burnt the garage down. 667 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:43,720 That's when I knew I was in love with you. 668 00:35:43,720 --> 00:35:46,920 I think that we've come such a long way. 669 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:49,600 It's been a pleasure being you, 670 00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,040 me. 671 00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:52,640 - Thank you, Bubbah. 672 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,920 Bubbah, your vows, please. 673 00:35:55,280 --> 00:36:00,200 - Listening to your garage story just reminds me of all the things that we've been through, 674 00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:06,600 and after this, we've got some pisupo and potato salad waiting at home. Yeah. 675 00:36:06,720 --> 00:36:09,400 - Bubbah, you may kiss yourself. 676 00:36:09,680 --> 00:36:11,680 - Sweet. 677 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:13,960 (WATER SLOSHES) 678 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:17,080 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 679 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:20,520 (WHISTLE BLOWS) - You happy with that? - Kind of. 680 00:36:20,520 --> 00:36:24,680 - What do you mean, kind of? - I'm pretty cold and wet. I don't know if it was worth it. 681 00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:26,680 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 682 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:30,240 - MEL LAUGHS: Why were you...? - I don't know, we didn't even show it! 683 00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:34,640 - What a twist that was at the end, that the bath was full of water all the time. 684 00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:38,840 - Yeah, uh... I don't know why I filled it. (LAUGHTER) 685 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,840 - She spent over half her time filling the bath. - Yeah, filling it. 686 00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,640 - Has that always been a dream ― not only to marry yourself... 687 00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,600 - Yeah, a wet dream. - ...but marry yourself... (LAUGHTER) 688 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:52,640 - All right, I need to see one more before I can score, Paul. - Sure thing, Jeremy. 689 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:56,920 Here's Mel asking herself for her hand in marriage. 690 00:36:58,240 --> 00:37:00,520 (PACHELBEL'S 'CANON IN D') 691 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,640 (BIRDS TWITTER) 692 00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,040 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) 693 00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:09,480 Ladies and gentlemen, I am a celebrity magician. 694 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:13,960 Welcome to the wedding of Melanie Bracewell and her hand. 695 00:37:13,960 --> 00:37:15,680 - Make me proud, son. 696 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,000 He'd better not break my young daughter's heart. 697 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,000 - You may do your vows. 698 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:24,200 - Handy, I've known I've always loved you 699 00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:29,320 since in high school, when none of the boys were interested in me. 700 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,320 (AUDIENCE LAUGHS) You ― you were always there. 701 00:37:32,320 --> 00:37:34,080 Melanie, 702 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,080 I feel the same way. 703 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,600 He's a better man than I'll ever be. 704 00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:39,880 Those are our vows. 705 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,080 - OK. Does anybody object? 706 00:37:42,400 --> 00:37:43,760 - AMERICAN ACCENT: 'I object.' 707 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:44,760 (GASPS) - (BOTH GASP) 708 00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:45,640 - (GASPS) 709 00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,480 - Is that... celebrity singer-songwriter Taylor Swift? 710 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,880 - Yes. It's me, Taylor Swift. 711 00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,360 She's always got my back. 712 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:55,640 I saw Handy cheating on Melanie with... 713 00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:57,440 Paul. 714 00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:58,560 (CAMERA CLICKS) 715 00:37:58,560 --> 00:37:59,560 - (BOTH GASP) 716 00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:03,160 - Handy, you'd cheat on me with Paul the celebrant/magician? 717 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,520 You bastard! 718 00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:06,160 Paul, do you have anything to say for yourself? 719 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:08,160 - Yeah. Uh, watch this. 720 00:38:09,640 --> 00:38:11,200 (MAGICAL WHOOSH) - (GASPS) 721 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:13,880 That was the most impressive magic I've ever seen. 722 00:38:13,880 --> 00:38:14,680 That's good shit. 723 00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,520 This is the best wedding I've ever been to. 724 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:18,080 That was amazing. 725 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,080 (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 726 00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:22,840 - Great production. - Thanks. - Really good. 727 00:38:22,840 --> 00:38:27,200 - See, Ray, that is how you do multiple characters. (LAUGHTER) 728 00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:28,720 Right there. 729 00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:32,560 - Not one character was dragged along by a rope. 730 00:38:32,560 --> 00:38:37,800 - How did the hand that you were marrying have an affair with Paul without you knowing? 731 00:38:37,800 --> 00:38:39,920 - Um... - The magician would have used sleight of hand. 732 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:41,920 (LAUGHTER) 733 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:45,160 (APPLAUSE) 734 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:51,360 - I chose my hand because when you're a woman in your mid-20s and you look at the men in theworld, 735 00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:55,480 you do realise that your hand can do a better job most of the time. (LAUGHTER) 736 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:58,880 - You could also just look at other women. That's also a good thing you can... 737 00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,960 You can get rid― - All right, you've convinced me. (LAUGHTER) 738 00:39:02,960 --> 00:39:07,440 - Well, to be honest, I think two of our contestants didn't get married. - OK. 739 00:39:07,440 --> 00:39:09,320 - One point for Mel... - (GASPS) 740 00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,960 ...one point for Ray. - That's probably more than what I deserve. 741 00:39:12,960 --> 00:39:15,880 (LAUGHTER) 742 00:39:15,880 --> 00:39:20,120 - Bubbah in the wet bath ― three points for you. - Thank you, Taskmaster. 743 00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:24,320 - Dai, four points for you and... Shashana, was it? 744 00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,960 - Oh ― Shush-ana. (LAUGHTER) 745 00:39:27,400 --> 00:39:31,840 - And I feel it would be unfair not to give you five points, Karen, cos you actually married someone. 746 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,560 - MEL: That was really sweet. - Yeah. How beautiful. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 747 00:39:34,560 --> 00:39:38,160 Beautiful. - And the song was beautiful. - Beautiful. 748 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:41,760 - Speaking of marriages, here are some examples of the unhappy marriage 749 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,200 between art and consumer capitalism. 750 00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:49,480 They're called ads. We'll see you after the break. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 751 00:39:49,480 --> 00:39:51,480 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 752 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:56,560 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 753 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:00,800 - Nau mai, hoki mai, welcome back. 754 00:40:00,800 --> 00:40:04,040 We're about to let you get back to your evening, but first of all, 755 00:40:04,040 --> 00:40:08,120 we need to see what our scores are looking like for this particular episode, Paul. 756 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:13,680 - It's a low-scoring affair, Jeremy. Out in first-equal with 13 points each, it's Dai andKaren. 757 00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:16,760 (APPLAUSE) 758 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:23,160 - All right, let's head upstairs for a famous Taskmaster live task. 759 00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:25,800 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 760 00:40:26,280 --> 00:40:29,400 Can someone please explain what I'm looking at here? 761 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:33,880 - Karen, would you please read this task? - I'd love to. 762 00:40:34,240 --> 00:40:37,640 'Side with the Taskmaster. Paul will read aloud a statement, 763 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:42,160 'and you must decide whether the Taskmaster would agree or disagree with that statement 764 00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,560 'by standing in the corresponding bathtub. 765 00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:49,400 'The person who correctly sides with the Taskmaster the most wins.' 766 00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:51,360 - You ready? - Yep. 767 00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:55,160 - Italian food is overrated. (WHISTLE BLOWS) 768 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:58,240 (EASY-LISTENING JAZZ MUSIC) 769 00:41:00,040 --> 00:41:02,040 Jeremy? 770 00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:04,920 One point for Dai, Karen and Mel. 771 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,080 (APPLAUSE) 772 00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,080 - (BLEEP) (LAUGHTER) 773 00:41:08,760 --> 00:41:12,160 - Jam goes in the fridge. (WHISTLE BLOWS) 774 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,200 (LAUGHTER) 775 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,640 - RAY: Get your leg in! - BUBBAH: Lift my leg up! Lift it up! 776 00:41:21,640 --> 00:41:23,320 - Jeremy? 777 00:41:23,320 --> 00:41:25,320 One point for everyone. 778 00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:27,360 (APPLAUSE) 779 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:30,040 (SCREAMING, SHOUTING) 780 00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:35,040 The people who stand up on planes should be allowed to get off first. 781 00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:38,720 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 782 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:41,920 Jeremy? 783 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:44,520 A point for Mel, Bubbah and Ray. 784 00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:46,520 (APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER) 785 00:41:46,720 --> 00:41:49,200 Ray O'Leary's suit suits him. 786 00:41:49,720 --> 00:41:52,000 (WHISTLE BLOWS, LAUGHTER) 787 00:41:52,280 --> 00:41:54,280 - MEL: Awww. 788 00:41:54,360 --> 00:41:57,840 - Yeah, but it's whathethinks. (LAUGHTER) 789 00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:59,680 Not what I― I love you! 790 00:41:59,680 --> 00:42:01,560 (LAUGHTER) 791 00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,560 - One point for everyone but Bubbah. (APPLAUSE) 792 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:10,680 Black shoes with white socks is OK. (WHISTLE BLOWS) 793 00:42:10,680 --> 00:42:12,680 - Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 794 00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,520 - Jeremy? 795 00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:17,120 One point for Bubbah and one point for Ray. 796 00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:19,120 - Yeah! - (LAUGHS) 797 00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,080 (APPLAUSE) 798 00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:24,880 - Tea goes in before the milk. (WHISTLE BLOWS) 799 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:29,880 Jeremy? 800 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,240 One point for Karen, one point for Mel, and one point for Bubbah. (APPLAUSE) 801 00:42:33,240 --> 00:42:35,920 - What kind of sicko doesn't think that? 802 00:42:35,920 --> 00:42:38,520 (LAUGHTER) 803 00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:45,280 There we go. All of my opinions are laid bare. Should we go down and score the round? 804 00:42:45,280 --> 00:42:47,600 (MUSICAL FLOURISH) 805 00:42:47,600 --> 00:42:51,080 Come and take your seats, and let's score the live task. 806 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:55,920 So, there's someone that came first, there's a tie as well, and then there's some that came last, right? 807 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,800 - Yes. - OK, so we go one point, three points, five points? 808 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:01,360 - OK, so one point for Dai... - Yep. 809 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:03,840 - ...three points for Bubbah, Karen and Ray... - Yep. 810 00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,680 - ... and five points for Mel Bracewell. - Beautiful. 811 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,680 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) OK. 812 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:14,240 Before we announce our winner for tonight, shall we look at the overall series scoreboard? 813 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:16,040 - It's incredibly tight, Jeremy. 814 00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:20,760 There's only eight points between last and first, but leading with 77 points ― 815 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:22,440 Melanie Bracewell! 816 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Whoa. 817 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:32,680 - Well, the race for my head is as exciting as ever, but enough about me. Who is tonight's winner, Paul? 818 00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:36,120 - The winner of episode five with 16 points ― 819 00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:37,360 it's Karen O'Leary! 820 00:43:37,360 --> 00:43:41,520 (LOUD CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - I won my partner! Yay! 821 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,520 Thank goodness. 822 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:51,160 - Congratulations, Karen. You are now the proud owner of beer perfume, one Japanese jacket 823 00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,800 and two human beings. 824 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,200 Please celebrate accordingly on stage. 825 00:43:56,200 --> 00:43:58,200 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 826 00:44:01,240 --> 00:44:04,640 It's been a wild ride, but what did we learn? 827 00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:10,080 We learnt that Ray O'Leary has the lungs of a Victorian child labourer. (LAUGHTER) 828 00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:15,240 But most importantly, we've learnt that Karen O'Leary is the winner of episode five. 829 00:44:15,240 --> 00:44:16,640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 830 00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:20,120 Thank you so much for watching. We'll see you next time. Ka kite. 831 00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,120 ('TASKMASTER' THEME) 832 00:44:22,120 --> 00:44:26,720 Captions by Rebecca Scholtz. Edited by Steffi Dryden. 833 00:44:26,720 --> 00:44:30,720 Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. 834 00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:33,800 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023 835 00:44:36,240 --> 00:44:38,920 - I'm ready for some good old-fashioned television drama. 836 00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:40,680 - Die, you cheating bastard! 837 00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,040 - Nooo! 838 00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,080 - We didn't lose it at each other. 839 00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,080 - We just hated the task and the show. 840 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:47,960 (LAUGHTER) 841 00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:50,560 - It felt like I was out with my caregiver. 842 00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:52,880 (LAUGHTER)