1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,000 (WHEEL CLICKS) 2 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:04,600 - Chee-hoo! 3 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:08,720 - (TYPES) 4 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,720 - (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 5 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:12,680 - (BURPS) 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,680 - Shame. 7 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:16,360 - ENGLISH ACCENT: All right? 8 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,280 - Whee! 9 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,080 - Argh! 10 00:00:18,080 --> 00:00:20,080 - (GIGGLES) 11 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:22,920 - (GASPS) 12 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:24,920 - Whoo! 13 00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:28,920 - Say 'cheese'. - Cheese. 14 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 15 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:34,120 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023. 16 00:00:35,480 --> 00:00:37,480 (DING!) 17 00:00:38,160 --> 00:00:41,840 - Kia ora koutou, and welcome to Taskmaster. My name's Jeremy Wells, 18 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,800 and I have spent the last few decades in a monastery at the foot of the Songshan Mountains,... 19 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,480 - (LAUGHTER) - ...training with Shaolin monks, 20 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:51,080 to understand the true nature of man. 21 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,080 I've climbed the highest mountains, 22 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,600 achieved total spiritual enlightenment, 23 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:59,000 and after years of struggle, I've now earned the right 24 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,600 to call myself the taskmaster. 25 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:03,600 (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 26 00:01:04,840 --> 00:01:07,520 Before me are five comedians on the 27 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:10,400 bones of their arses. - (LAUGHTER) 28 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:14,040 Tonight, we'll be watching them attempt a series of ridiculous tasks, 29 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:17,880 and I will award them points based on my own fickle whims. 30 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,840 Risking life and limb is our magnificent season four cast ― 31 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:23,840 Bubbah,... 32 00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:25,840 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,720 ...Dai Henwood,... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,640 ...Karen O'Leary,... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,720 ...Mel Bracewell... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 36 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,720 ...and Ray O'Leary! 37 00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:40,160 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE, WHISTLING) By my side, as always, 38 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:43,240 is a man who once told me in confidence 39 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,640 that he's never felt truly connected to another human being. 40 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,720 (LAUGHTER) Ladies and gentlemen, Paul Williams. 41 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,280 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 42 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,520 - I've actually prepared a poem that I wrote. 43 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:57,600 - I'd love to hear it. - OK. 44 00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,120 Jeremy. Oh, Jeremy. 45 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,480 Chills when you stare at me. (LAUGHTER) 46 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,920 I'd love your chair to be nearer me. 47 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,320 Your smile is an audience cheering me... 48 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,120 on. And that's the end of the poem. 49 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,120 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 50 00:02:14,720 --> 00:02:17,800 - That is genuinely the nicest poem anyone's ever written about me ― 51 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,320 theonlypoem anyone's ever written about me; definitely the nicest. 52 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:25,080 Paul, what are we tackling first? - A prize task. So, tonight, 53 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,640 our contestants have been asked to bring in 54 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,160 the best gift for their 12-year-old self. 55 00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:35,600 - Great. This will be an interesting bit of self-reflection for a lot of our comedians, I'msure. 56 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:37,840 Mel, what gift have you bought in? 57 00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:41,800 - I have brought in my current full New Zealand driver's licence. 58 00:02:42,640 --> 00:02:44,640 (LAUGHTER) 59 00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,880 (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) - May I ask you, 60 00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:51,840 what would your 12-year-old self do with your full driver's license? 61 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,560 - Legally drive on the streets of New Zealand. 62 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:58,560 - So when you were 12, you could drive a car? 63 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:02,440 - Absolutely not. (LAUGHTER) But legally,... 64 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:04,440 yes. (LAUGHTER) 65 00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:08,840 - Karen, what did you bring in? - What I would really love for my 12-year-old self 66 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,080 was to have a bit more confidence, to get rid of those multiple, 67 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,360 multiple layers of insecurity that I had. 68 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:18,040 So I brought in something that I think would help me shine the brightest that I could 69 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,720 as a 12-year-old. And it's this. 70 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:22,720 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 71 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,120 Who doesn't love a disco ball at a party? 72 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:31,080 But imagine if youarethe party. - At this party that you're going to, 73 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:34,160 I'll be sober driver. - Yeah, you can be! 74 00:03:34,160 --> 00:03:36,640 And I think the point is, you know, the party is what you want it to be, 75 00:03:36,640 --> 00:03:39,080 so if you wanna party by yourself, that's cool too. 76 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,160 But I wanna wear that helmet when I was 12, 77 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,960 and I reckon I'd have been way cooler. 78 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,280 - Bubbah, what did you bring in for your 12 year-old-self? 79 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,760 - This is my second choice that I had to bring in, 80 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:53,360 because they didn't allow me the first one,... 81 00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:56,480 (LAUGHTER) ...because it was an unregistered pistol. 82 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,480 (LAUGHTER) 83 00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,120 I was thinking about 12-year-old me, 84 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,760 and sitting in my classroom at lunchtime talking to the teacher, 85 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:06,920 cos I had no lunch. (LAUGHS) 86 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,840 So I brought myself a mean-as lunch. 87 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,240 - ALL: Oh! - Yeah! (APPLAUSE) 88 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,000 - What's in your lunch? - So, in my lunch, for my entree, 89 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,120 I've got calamari. And then for my main, 90 00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:23,120 I have steak, veggies and mash. And then for my dessert, 91 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,720 I've got creme brulee. - ALL: Oh! 92 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,680 - You didn't think maybe you'd want to give yourself a year's supply of lunches? 93 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,440 - (LAUGHTER) - Well, that's what the gun was for, 94 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,920 but... (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 95 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,360 - Dai, what did you bring in? - As a 12-year-old, 96 00:04:42,360 --> 00:04:46,040 I had a moustache. I looked quite like a student teacher. 97 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,800 So this is what I'd like to bring in. 98 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,200 It is a shaving kit with a high-end razor. 99 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:56,200 (LAUGHTER) This has up to one blade on it. 100 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,360 (LAUGHTER) And the reason was, 101 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,560 I was quite a confused individual. 102 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:04,120 The fact that I had facial hair made me think I was a bit old. 103 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,680 I had various things running through my head. 104 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:09,880 In fact, literally just before this, my mother sent me a photo. 105 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,880 She's cleaning out the house, 106 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,200 and this is what she found in my closet. 107 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:16,200 (LAUGHTER) 108 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,440 - What?! 109 00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:23,000 What is that?! - It's quite disturbing. (LAUGHTER) 110 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,440 So I feel if I shaved, 111 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,440 I might act more like a normal child. 112 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,360 - I wanna see the artwork for your father. 113 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:33,400 (LAUGHTER) - Ray, what did you bring in? 114 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,360 - I have brought in a children's chemistry set, 115 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:39,840 uh, and the formula for the Covid vaccine. 116 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:42,640 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 117 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:47,320 - So you're planning on giving this to your 12-year-old self? 118 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:50,280 - Yeah. Mostly to make money. (LAUGHTER) 119 00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,920 It'll save a few lives, I assume, but it's mostly about the money. 120 00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:57,520 - Wouldn't have been easier just to give yourself a sports almanac, 121 00:05:57,520 --> 00:06:01,480 a la Biff Tanner? - Sorry ― what's a sports almanac? 122 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,840 - (LAUGHTER) - It's a Back to the Future reference. 123 00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,040 It doesn't matter ― it was before your time. 124 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,640 - Oh yeah. - Doesn't matter. - (LAUGHTER) 125 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,640 OK. (LAUGHTER) 126 00:06:10,640 --> 00:06:14,520 I think Mel gets one point. That's pretty damn obvious. 127 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,520 (LAUGHTER) 128 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,520 I can't work out whether yours is either genius or 129 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:23,240 one of the stupidest things I've ever seen, Ray, so I'll give you two points, 130 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,280 and then there's some sympathy votes that are going on over here. 131 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:28,280 (LAUGHTER) I got to say. 132 00:06:28,280 --> 00:06:32,080 - I was so poor. - (LAUGHTER) - It's just a case of who gets what. 133 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:34,800 Oh, so I've just given you each three points. - (GIGGLES) 134 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,800 Yeah. 135 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:39,880 (LAUGHS) - That's enough pleasantries ― 136 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:43,040 let's get to the unpleasantries. Paul, what have you got for me? 137 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:47,000 - I will now make a task appear before your very eyes. 138 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 - Oh no. 139 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,760 - (GASPS) - Hello, Mel. 140 00:06:56,760 --> 00:06:58,440 - Kia ora, Paul. - Kia ora, Karen. 141 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,440 - Hello. 142 00:07:00,440 --> 00:07:02,440 - Good to see you. 143 00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,640 Hello, Ray. - Hello. Makes me feel like 144 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,840 one of Hannibal Lecter's meals he's preserved for later. 145 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:12,600 - Are you a fan of magic? - No. It really, 146 00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,800 really doesn't impress me. 147 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,680 Oh, you pulled a bunny out of your hat. So? Cool. 148 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,080 - Where's the envelope? - It's in the hat. 149 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,280 - I'm scared. Is there someone in there? (GASPS) Feel like it's gonna grab me. 150 00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:29,640 - Have you ever worked on a farm? - (LAUGHTER) 151 00:07:29,640 --> 00:07:32,160 - Mm-mm. - You should put your hand in this hat. 152 00:07:32,160 --> 00:07:34,360 That's what it feels like. 153 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,360 - What are you doing? - Showing everyone how the trick works. 154 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,400 (LAUGHTER) - That's not what you're supposed to do. 155 00:07:38,400 --> 00:07:41,320 - Well, I'm a magician that doesn't play by the rules. 156 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,400 - Whoa! - READS: Do magic. 157 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,880 - READS: You cannot use editing trickery. 158 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:48,680 - READS: Most magical magic wins. 159 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:52,120 - READS: 'You have 40 minutes.' That's a long time for the magic tricks I know. 160 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,120 - And your time... 161 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:56,120 starts... 162 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:00,400 now. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 163 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:04,720 - All right, Paul ― I'm ready to have my mind blown. 164 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:06,800 Who's up first? - Abraca Mel 165 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,280 Bracewell-a-kazam. It's Mel Bracewell. 166 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:12,280 (LAUGHTER) 167 00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:16,200 - Hello. I'm Mystical Melanie, 168 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:20,160 and this is my magical wand. 169 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,160 (LAUGHTER) 170 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:25,000 Ta-da! 171 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,800 I'm going to use this magical wand 172 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,200 to make an apple hover 173 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,000 from this hat, and then I will slice it in half. 174 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:37,600 Ah! 175 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,400 I am ama... 176 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:44,280 Oh! (LAUGHTER) Exactly when I planned to do it. 177 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:49,040 Bon appetit. - Thank you,... Magical Mel? - Mystical. 178 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,320 - Mystical Mel. - Thank you. 179 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,320 (APPLAUSE) 180 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:58,000 - That was brilliant. - Yeah, amazing. 181 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,560 - Thank you! - Really? Really? Amazing? 182 00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:03,480 Wow. I would call that half-hearted at best. 183 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,680 I can't wait to see your two. (LAUGHTER) 184 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,400 Wow. Mystical Mel. 185 00:09:09,400 --> 00:09:11,600 Wouldn't Magical Mel have been better? 186 00:09:11,600 --> 00:09:14,720 - I took a name that I had as a child. 187 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,160 I used to do magic shows for my friends. 188 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:21,120 It would be, you know, I'm gonna disappear ― it was very shit on purpose. 189 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:25,080 But that was, um... I decided to change tack and go really good. 190 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:28,360 (LAUGHTER) - It's time to make ourselves disappear, 191 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,600 but don't worry ― we'll be back in a couple of minutes. 192 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:32,600 We'll see you soon. 193 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 194 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 195 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:47,400 Welcome back to Taskmaster. Before the break, 196 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:49,960 we saw a non-magician attempt a magic trick. 197 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,520 It went about as well as you'd expect. 198 00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:55,880 And now we're gonna try it four more times. 199 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:59,360 Who's up next, Paul? - Abra-Karen-Dai-bra. 200 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:03,320 That wasn't super-clear, but it's Karen and Dai. (LAUGHTER) 201 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:07,400 - Welcome. Welcome. I hear it's your birthday. Is that right? 202 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,680 - No. - Yes. You're turning 4 today, and it's your party. 203 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,360 And lucky for you and your friends, 204 00:10:13,360 --> 00:10:15,360 your lovely parents have invited me to come along. 205 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,160 I'm Krusty the Karen, and I've got some very special magic for you today. 206 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:21,160 - Art. 207 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:23,160 Magic. 208 00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:25,160 Performance. 209 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,880 - See this coin? 210 00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,880 It's still there. 211 00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,880 - Wow. 212 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,520 (LAUGHTER) 213 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:42,400 - Gone. - Two little dickybirds sitting on a wall ― 214 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:44,680 one named Peter, one named? 215 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,800 Paul. Fly away, Peter. 216 00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:51,000 Fly away, Paul. Come back, Peter. 217 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,240 Come back, Paul. 218 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:56,760 WHISPERS: Where did they go? 219 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:00,720 - My guess is it's winter and they're flying somewhere warmer, 220 00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,560 and then they're coming back. - Yeah, andthat'smagic. 221 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:11,400 - (GARGLES) 222 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,400 (LAUGHTER) 223 00:11:14,440 --> 00:11:16,920 (GARGLES) (PAINTBRUSH CLATTERS) 224 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:19,400 - The camera's over that side. 225 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,280 - It's a rabbit! - It's terrifying. 226 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:26,760 - Could you now look up the word 'magician'? It's on, um, 227 00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:30,360 page 1559, 228 00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:32,520 I believe. - I don't think that's right, 229 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:35,640 cos this is 'O's. 230 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000 - The paintbrush. 231 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000 Art. Magic. 232 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000 Philanthropy. 233 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,240 - (LAUGHTER) - SQUEAKS: Hey, Paul. 234 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,240 Have a happy birthday. 235 00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:50,240 - My birthday's not till August. 236 00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,320 - SQUEAKS: OK. See you then. 237 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:54,320 - Ooh. 238 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,360 - That's magic. 239 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,360 - Boop. 240 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:02,040 (LAUGHTER) 241 00:12:02,040 --> 00:12:04,040 (WHIRRS) 242 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,120 (APPLAUSE) 243 00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:08,120 (CHEERING) 244 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 - Karen, I'm not sure whether magic's all about, 245 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,200 at the end of doing a really, really lame trick, then just going, 246 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:18,160 'And that's magic.' - That's what Paul Daniels said, and it worked for him, 247 00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:20,960 and it worked for me when I was an early childhood teacher for 21 years. 248 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,960 5-year-olds know nothing, 4-year-olds even less, 3-year-olds ― 249 00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,960 no idea. (LAUGHTER) 250 00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:29,000 - Couldn't tell which was sadder, actually ― your performance 251 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,680 or the fact that Paul had no friends at his birthday party. 252 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:35,080 - (LAUGHTER) - It was accurate. - (LAUGHTER) 253 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:38,280 - No, no, that's a joke. I have friends ― 254 00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:41,160 (LAUGHTER) Chandler, Phoebe,... 255 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,160 (LAUGHTER) Ross. 256 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,160 (LAUGHTER) 257 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:48,040 - Dai, you could really sense 258 00:12:48,040 --> 00:12:51,760 your feeling about magic in that performance, I've gotta say. - Yeah. 259 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:55,680 The fact that I did such high-quality magic hurt me, 260 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:59,040 - in a way. - He also didn't use half of his time ― 261 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,040 he left quite early. 262 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,040 (LAUGHTER) 263 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,920 - I'm ready for another amateur magician, Paul, but no more wordplay, please. 264 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:10,120 - It's too late. Abraca-Bubbah, alakazam. 265 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:12,120 It's Bubbah. 266 00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:15,400 - The Amazing, The Talented Bubbsy Wubbsy! 267 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:17,520 Chee-hoo! 268 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,280 - ALL: Ooh! 269 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,280 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) 270 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:37,280 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 271 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:45,280 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 272 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:49,840 (LAUGHTER) 273 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:58,640 - Ta-da! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Thanks for watching 274 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,720 Taskmaster's Toodeloo. 275 00:14:00,720 --> 00:14:02,720 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 276 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,720 - That was genuine ― you got two tricks for the price of one there. 277 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,160 - That first disappear was very good. 278 00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,720 - Thank you. - And the reappear was so swift. 279 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:13,760 (LAUGHTER) 280 00:14:13,760 --> 00:14:16,840 - The jiggling was the only weird bit. 281 00:14:16,840 --> 00:14:19,880 (LAUGHTER) - The magician told me that the 282 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,080 noise of her magic needed to be 283 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:25,880 masked with some jiggling. (LAUGHTER) Yeah. 284 00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:28,440 - That's because when I reappeared, my ass jiggled too loud, 285 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,680 so I wanted him to cover that. (LAUGHTER) 286 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,680 - Now, if there's one contestant on Taskmaster New Zealand 287 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:37,840 who I would expect to actually know some magic tricks, 288 00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:40,280 it would probably be our last comedian. 289 00:14:40,280 --> 00:14:43,760 - I can tell you right now, he doesn't. (LAUGHTER) 290 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,760 Here's abracadab-Ray. 291 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,280 - My first thought is, um, Disneyland. 292 00:14:50,640 --> 00:14:53,600 It's the most magical place on Earth. 293 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,600 (TINKLY MUSIC) 294 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,320 Wow! I can't believe we're going to Raysneyland, 295 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,720 the most magical place on Earth. 296 00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:04,000 Wow. I can't believe we're on roller-opolis, 297 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,480 the most Greek roller coaster in the world. 298 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:09,560 Oh. Oh no. Oh, and we're going left. Whoa! 299 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:11,680 Oh, and, oh, here's the Parthenon. 300 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:13,680 Wow! It's so Greek. 301 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,080 Whee! - Whee! 302 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,160 (LAUGHTER) 303 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:20,160 BOTH: Whee! 304 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:22,520 - Whoa, really? It's free, sir? 305 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:25,880 Oh, wow, this really is the most magical place on Earth. 306 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,080 Authentic Greek popcorn. 307 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:32,120 - Is the whole park Greek-themed? - (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah. 308 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,240 (LAUGHTER) Yeah. We gotta go to the Greek tea cups now. 309 00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:36,840 - Okay. - Yeah. Ooh, ooh! Magic! 310 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:40,400 Whoa. I love the teacup ride. (LAUGHTER) 311 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,400 - Whee! 312 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,960 - I'm having the most magical time with you, Paul. 313 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,960 - Thank you. 314 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:53,000 Oh my goodness. It's Rickey Rouse. (LAUGHTER) 315 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,400 Rickey Rouse, could I please have a photo with you? 316 00:15:55,400 --> 00:15:58,480 - All right, kid. I'm on my lunch break. 317 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,800 - Say cheese. - Cheese. 318 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,720 Go enjoy the rest of the park. I'm gonna have the rest of my smoko. 319 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:07,720 - Thanks, Ricky. 320 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,720 - Was that a Make A Wish kid? 321 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:13,920 I got a wish ― for my bloody shift to end. 322 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:16,720 (APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER, CHEERING) 323 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,720 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 324 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:23,000 - So Raysneyland is a Greek-themed... 325 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,000 (LAUGHTER) 326 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:28,120 ...theme park, the happiest place on Earth? 327 00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,920 - No, that's the thing, is that he kept calling it the most magical place on Earth, 328 00:16:31,920 --> 00:16:34,800 as if that's the slogan for Disneyland, which it isn't ― 329 00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:37,600 it's the happiest place on Earth. 330 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:39,600 (LAUGHTER) 331 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:41,600 (APPLAUSE) 332 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:45,080 - Yeah, but that's Disneyland ― we went to Raysneyland, 333 00:16:45,080 --> 00:16:47,280 which is the most magical place on Earth. 334 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:50,720 - I'm just thinking, like, how long did Dai's take to film approximately? 335 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,440 - It was short ― no more than 10 minutes. 336 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,680 - How long did Ray's take? - The whole time, yeah. Yeah. 337 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:59,560 (LAUGHTER) - It's a lot of effort for one point. 338 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,760 (LAUGHTER) 339 00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:07,800 Dai, no effort from you ― two points. - Oh, fair enough. 340 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,160 - Tiny bit of effort from Karen ― three points. 341 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,320 - Yes. - Mystical Mel ― at least she did a trick. 342 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:16,440 Mel gets four points for that. - (LAUGHS) Oh my God. 343 00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:19,600 - And old Bubba Wubba was pretty good, I reckon. Five points for her. - ALL: Yeah. 344 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,880 - Yeah. - That was actually... 345 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,120 It was impressive. It was great. 346 00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:26,680 - So that means out in first, on eight points, 347 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:29,680 it's Bubbah. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 348 00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,480 - I'll tell you what ― I am a task addict, 349 00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:36,640 and I'm starting to have withdrawals; it must be time for another hit. 350 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,520 - Sure thing, Jeremy. Wait. Uh-oh. 351 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,720 We've found ourselves up Task Creek 352 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,720 with a paddle. 353 00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,960 (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) 354 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,600 (WHOOSH!) 355 00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:57,960 - Hey, Paul. - Hello, Dai. 356 00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:01,480 - Hello, Paul. - Hi, Paul. - Hello, Paul. 357 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,600 - We're gonna play ping pong with different things. 358 00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:07,080 - Play a lot of table tennis, do you? 359 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,400 - No. - Ping-pong, if you will. 360 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,840 - READS: Win one point in table tennis against Paul. 361 00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:13,840 - READS: If Paul scores a point against you, 362 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,840 you'll be penalised with a penalty of your choice. 363 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:20,200 - READS: You may not choose the same penalty twice in a row. 364 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:23,560 - READS: Fastest to score a point wins. Your time starts when Paul serves the ball. 365 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:27,240 - READS: I don't really understand the penalise situation. 366 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,600 Oh, penalties. I should have just read that, I suppose. 367 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:32,800 Put on a jacket, replace your racquet. 368 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,920 Make Paul a crustless peanut-butter and jam sandwich and cut it into triangles. 369 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:39,280 - Oh, I don't like three. 370 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:43,320 - You don't like sandwiches? - I don't like having to do things for other people. 371 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:45,360 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 372 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:51,840 - So, just to go over the penalties ― add a jacket, 373 00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:54,920 make me a crustless peanut-butter-and-jam sandwich 374 00:18:54,920 --> 00:18:58,120 or switch your racket for another racket. 375 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:01,200 I then put their old racket in the bin. 376 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,960 That's the end of that sentence. - (LAUGHTER) - Who should we watch first, Paul? 377 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,960 - Up first, Mel and Karen. 378 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:11,320 - This is scary. Are you quite good? 379 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:13,520 (BLEEP) Arse. (LAUGHTER) 380 00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:18,000 - (BLEEP) you. - I'm gonna change my racket. 381 00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,120 - Putting on a jacket. 382 00:19:19,120 --> 00:19:22,800 - I think I'm gonna look spiffing. 383 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:25,360 - Getting a biscuit. 384 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,720 - Far out! God damn you, table! 385 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,840 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 386 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,040 - But you had it so firm. 387 00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:43,440 - Ace. 388 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,920 - The annoying thing is that someone's gonna get it first try, 389 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:49,200 and I'm making you a freaking sandwich, 390 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,240 like a little bitch. 391 00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:53,240 (LAUGHTER) 392 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:56,200 - Another penalty, please. 393 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,200 (LAUGHTER) 394 00:20:03,200 --> 00:20:05,200 - No! 395 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:09,240 - Triangles, please. - Yeah, I know that. 396 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:13,560 - OK. That's really encumbered me. 397 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,800 - Great! 398 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:20,800 (LAUGHTER) 399 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,280 - Yes! (LAUGHS) - (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 400 00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:28,600 - (LAUGHS) - (LAUGHTER) 401 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:31,960 (CHEERS) (APPLAUSE) - That was invigorating. 402 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,880 - Took a while, but I got there in the end. - Thank you, Mel. 403 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,160 - Thanks, Paul. - Bye, Karen. - Thank you. 404 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,160 (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 405 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,160 - (BOTH LAUGH) 406 00:20:41,160 --> 00:20:44,040 - Oh man. - Given the current climate, 407 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:48,000 how do you think it looks that you were making women make you sandwiches on national television? 408 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,400 - (LAUGHTER) - Not good. 409 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:53,680 - (LAUGHTER) - How did we go in terms of timing, Paul? 410 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:56,360 - OK, so Karen, eight minutes 19. 411 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,600 Mel, two minutes 40. 412 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,280 - (BOTH LAUGH) - Jesus. Whoa. 413 00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:05,080 - They made me look heaps better on that video. 414 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,840 (LAUGHTER) - I thought Mel was just as shit as I am. 415 00:21:07,840 --> 00:21:10,200 (LAUGHTER) - Who needs Sky Sport, 416 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:13,720 when we've got all the high-octane sports action you need right here? 417 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,360 More thrilling Taskmaster ping-pong coming up after these messages. 418 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,360 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 419 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:26,600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 420 00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,760 Nau mai, hoki mai, welcome back to Taskmaster, 421 00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,000 where comedians are playing table tennis, 422 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:37,160 in order to get their hands on the Covid-19 vaccine recipe. 423 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,640 (LAUGHTER) Paul, where were we? 424 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,240 - Our contestants have been tasked with gaining one 425 00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:46,200 ping-pong point against the Taskmaster's assistant, 426 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,480 who is me, Paul. (LAUGHTER) 427 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,640 - We've already seen you take on Karen and Mel ― 428 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:54,720 who are you competing against next, Paul. - Hope you're a fan of R & B, 429 00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:58,120 Jeremy, cos it's time for Ray and Bubbah. 430 00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:02,200 - I know you're gonna be good at this. 431 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,800 - I don't like the way you're posing ― it makes it sound like... you seem way too intense. 432 00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,400 Should we have just a friendly game? 433 00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,800 - Hello, Ray. - Hey, Paul. - How are you today? 434 00:22:11,800 --> 00:22:15,280 - I'm good, thank you. Oh! I'm really good. 435 00:22:15,360 --> 00:22:18,040 How are you going, man? This is all right, isn't it? 436 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,280 This is a little bit of fun between friends. 437 00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:23,280 Come on. 438 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,280 (LAUGHTER) 439 00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:27,800 - Oh shit. (LAUGHS) This one's cool. 440 00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:30,000 - Well, it's a great shade. 441 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,840 - (BLEEP)! 442 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:35,560 - Oh. - You're such a big baby, bro. 443 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:38,760 - Thank you, Ray. - You're welcome. - There ― get it yourself. 444 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:40,760 - Thank you. - (LAUGHTER) 445 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,760 - Oh no. 446 00:22:45,160 --> 00:22:47,160 (LAUGHTER) 447 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,840 Paul, your jackets. (LAUGHTER) 448 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,160 All right. It's all good. 449 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,840 Oh no! Paul, come on! 450 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:06,040 (LAUGHTER) 451 00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:10,400 - (LAUGHS) - You're going frontways? - Yup. 452 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:13,720 (LAUGHTER) Can you tell me you're serving it? - Where do you want it? 453 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,720 - Maybe around here. - OK. 454 00:23:16,720 --> 00:23:19,600 - You're such an asshole. (LAUGHS) 455 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,000 - Oh. 456 00:23:27,160 --> 00:23:29,160 Oh. Good heavens. 457 00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:36,560 (LAUGHTER) 458 00:23:39,360 --> 00:23:41,640 - You dropped a jacket. - Oh, did I? Sorry. 459 00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,520 I'm starting to feel like maybe too many jackets. 460 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:47,880 - You're pre-mixing peanut butter in the jam? - Yeah. Yeah. What does it matter? 461 00:23:47,880 --> 00:23:51,760 It's just you eating it. - You're now ripping the crusts off with your hands. 462 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,120 I feel like the quality of the sandwiches is deteriorating. 463 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:57,120 (LAUGHTER) 464 00:24:01,160 --> 00:24:04,520 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Oh, that feels so good! 465 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,520 I can't believe I did it. 466 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,840 - (LAUGHTER) - I won! 467 00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:14,600 I won! (LAUGHTER) 468 00:24:15,200 --> 00:24:17,200 Shame. 469 00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:19,400 - (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) - Oh! 470 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:25,560 - There was a lot of swearing going on. Bubbah, you used the F-word, 471 00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,040 you called Paul an A-hole. (LAUGHTER) 472 00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,120 Then I heard you say, 'Good heavens.' 473 00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:33,120 (LAUGHTER) 474 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,480 What were the times in the end? - So, Bubbah, 475 00:24:36,480 --> 00:24:38,680 17 minutes 33. (LAUGHTER) 476 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,480 - Shut up. - (LAUGHTER) 477 00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,680 - Ray, 18 minutes 23. - ALL: Oh. 478 00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,800 - I mean, you weren't playing Andre Agassi or anything ― you were playing Paul. 479 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,840 - My dad actually went to the world champs for table tennis. 480 00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:54,040 - Did he? - Yeah. - And my dad went to the world 481 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:57,440 champions for peanut butter and jelly sandwich making, so... 482 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,440 - And my dad left. 483 00:24:59,440 --> 00:25:01,440 (LAUGHTER) 484 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,280 It's all right ― I'm healed. I'm healed. (LAUGHTER) 485 00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,480 - So it looks like Dai has been saved for last, 486 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:15,400 and that usually means one of two things here on Taskmaster ― 487 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:19,080 he's either going to be really, really good at this or really, 488 00:25:19,080 --> 00:25:22,000 really bad. - It's the question on everyone's lips, 489 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:25,960 Jeremy ― will he be Dai Hen bad or Dai Hen good? 490 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,360 (LAUGHTER) It's Dai Henwood. (LAUGHTER) 491 00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:31,360 Are you ready? - Yeah. 492 00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,120 So it's a point to me, correct? 493 00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:40,120 - Correct. (APPLAUSE) 494 00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,160 (LAUGHTER) 495 00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,040 - So I just got a point, eh? So that was the task. 496 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:53,040 - Correct. 497 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,920 (LAUGHTER) - Can I make you a peanut butter and jam sandwich anyway? 498 00:25:57,920 --> 00:25:59,920 - That's OK. 499 00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,400 (LAUGHTER) 500 00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,240 - Thank you, Dai. (LAUGHTER) - Thanks. 501 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:11,120 (LAUGHTER) 502 00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:18,440 (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 503 00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,480 - You know, this is the fourth season of Taskmaster, 504 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:26,840 and we've never seen someone so good at the task that they're confused 505 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:29,880 that they've even completed the task. - (LAUGHTER) 506 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:32,480 - Throughout my life, I've always played ping-pong 507 00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:35,040 in quite a highly inebriated state, 508 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,800 so when I played it sober, it was like I was in The Matrix. 509 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:40,800 (LAUGHTER) 510 00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:43,880 - You completed the task quicker 511 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:47,480 than Ray trying to just put the rack back up. 512 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,480 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 513 00:26:50,680 --> 00:26:53,360 - So, how long did Dai play with you for? 514 00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,360 - 2.1 seconds. 515 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,360 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 516 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,960 - So how does that go for points? - So that's one point for Ray, 517 00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:05,240 two for Bubbah, three points for Karen, 518 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:09,120 four points for Mel and five points for Dai Henwood. (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 519 00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:11,200 - Well deserved. Well deserved. 520 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:13,680 - Time for another task. 521 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,160 Paul? - OK, Boomer. No cap. 522 00:27:16,160 --> 00:27:19,640 This task is giving lit. It is GOATed with the sauce, 523 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,640 and that's on God, fam. 524 00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,640 (LAUGHTER) 525 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:25,640 (WHIMSICAL MUSIC) 526 00:27:31,640 --> 00:27:33,640 (MUSIC FADES) 527 00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:36,880 (LAUGHTER) - Hello? 528 00:27:36,880 --> 00:27:38,880 - Hi. - Hello. 529 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,160 (LAUGHTER) 530 00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:43,960 (LAUGHTER) 531 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:46,720 (LAUGHTER) - Paul, you've changed. 532 00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,440 - Gidday. I'm Dai. Lovely to meet you. - Hi. Nice to meet you too. 533 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,440 - Who are you? - I'm Pearl. 534 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,800 - Where's Paul? - WHISPERS: I don't know. 535 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,480 - Do you know what I'm supposed to do now? - Don't you know? 536 00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,800 - Do you know what the task is? - Mm-hm. - What's the task? 537 00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,280 - It's here. - Oh! - (LAUGHTER) 538 00:28:03,280 --> 00:28:05,280 - Thanks so much. 539 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:08,200 - You wouldn't have seen this ― I've got this cool way of opening it, 540 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,200 like that. (LAUGHTER) 541 00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:12,720 Well, this is getting off to a bad start already. 542 00:28:12,720 --> 00:28:15,280 READS: Make this teenager think you're cool. 543 00:28:15,280 --> 00:28:17,280 - Oh no. - (LAUGHTER) 544 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:19,680 - READS: You have 10 minutes to talk to the teenager. 545 00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,280 - READS: Then 10 further minutes to be cool. 546 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:24,280 - READS: Most cool wins. 547 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,280 - My time starts now. 548 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:28,320 - What do you think is cool? - I don't know. 549 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:30,320 - Oh, that does make things difficult. 550 00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,720 - What if I showed you my TikTok account? 551 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,560 I did it for a while ― I dressed up as the Prime Minister. 552 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:36,560 - Yeah, I did see that. - You did see that? - Yeah. 553 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:40,200 - What do you think of that? - I kind of just, like, scrolled past it. 554 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,480 (LAUGHTER) - Yeah, yeah, that's great. 555 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:46,440 - Did you know, I used to be a teacher for 21 years? - Really? That's cool. 556 00:28:46,440 --> 00:28:50,160 - Is that cool? - Oh, wait. I didn't think that sentence through. 557 00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,920 - Sure. - Would you rate me the highest if I gave you some money? 558 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:56,280 - I'm not allowed to get bribed. - What if some weed fell into your pocket? 559 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:58,280 (LAUGHTER) Would you be into that? - (LAUGHS) No. 560 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:00,720 - I'm so out of my depth. I don't know how to be cool. 561 00:29:00,720 --> 00:29:03,000 - What do you like doing? - Hanging out with my friends. 562 00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:05,960 - What do you guys do together? - Go on a bus to the mall, and then, 563 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:10,240 like, go on public transport anywhere. - OK. Public transport is cool. 564 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,560 - Do you play Clash of Clans? 565 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,000 - No. - It's sick. I've got a skux village. 566 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000 (LAUGHTER) 567 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,720 - (WHISTLE BLOWS) - Argh! (LAUGHTER) 568 00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,600 - What up, Pearl? - Oh, hi, Paul. - What the hell? 569 00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:28,600 (LAUGHTER) 570 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:32,640 - Oh, whatever! - Mel, your 10 minutes starts now. 571 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,640 - (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) - OK. 572 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:36,640 - So stressful. - Ray, 573 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:40,400 you and Mel looked genuinely freaked out. - (LAUGHTER) 574 00:29:40,400 --> 00:29:44,360 What was the problem? - This was the task that after completing, 575 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:48,760 I didn't care how I went ― all I was looking forward to was watching Ray do it. 576 00:29:48,760 --> 00:29:51,240 (LAUGHTER) 577 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:53,760 - I distinctly remember asking her in the room, 578 00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:56,480 'What do you think about the Chilean constitutional crisis?' 579 00:29:56,480 --> 00:29:58,480 (LAUGHTER) 580 00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:02,040 - Bubbah, we need to address something here ― 581 00:30:02,040 --> 00:30:05,720 you attempted or suggested that maybe you could place some weed in her pocket. 582 00:30:05,720 --> 00:30:08,520 - (LAUGHTER) - Yeah, but she didn't take it. She's a pussy. 583 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,520 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 584 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:18,000 - OK. I'm fascinated to know how our comedians approached this one, 585 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,200 Paul. - You got it, Jeremy. 586 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,120 These guys understood the assignment. 587 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,120 It's Dai and Ray. 588 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:29,280 (LAUGHTER) 589 00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,480 - What up? 590 00:30:31,480 --> 00:30:33,480 Name's Ray ― 591 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:35,480 Cool Ray. 592 00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:38,560 - Hey, Paul. 'Sup, Pearl? (LAUGHTER) 593 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,720 - I'm just gonna sit here and smoke a... 594 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:45,240 cool cigarette,... 595 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:47,240 which I do frequently. 596 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:50,040 - You do a lot of dance videos? 597 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,040 (LAUGHTER) 598 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,880 - (COUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 599 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:59,120 (COUGHS) Oh, that's smooth and smoky. 600 00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:02,200 - You ever seen a grown man cartwheel? 601 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:04,880 (LAUGHTER) Like it was nothing. 602 00:31:05,120 --> 00:31:07,120 - (COUGHS) 603 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:09,120 (LAUGHTER) 604 00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,200 (COUGHS) Enjoying my cigarette. 605 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,360 Your parents probably don't even let you do this, but, you know, I can do whatever I like. 606 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:17,480 I don't give a damn. - You've got seven minutes and 40 seconds. 607 00:31:17,480 --> 00:31:20,000 - It feels like time's slowing down, Paul. - Mm-hm. 608 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,840 - It's stressful, cos I'm sort of running out of cool things to do. 609 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,640 - Oh, it's getting quite hot as well, actually ― quite close to my fingers. 610 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,640 That's good. That's smooth. 611 00:31:28,640 --> 00:31:32,320 - If I had my iPad here with Clash of Clans on it, 612 00:31:32,320 --> 00:31:34,760 and I played it, but now you don't have my village. 613 00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:37,720 - I could download it. - No, but then I'd have to log in with my account, 614 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,240 and you could muck with my village and stuff, and that's not cool. 615 00:31:40,240 --> 00:31:42,240 (LAUGHTER) - (COUGHS) 616 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:44,760 (LAUGHTER) Oh, there's some paper in there. 617 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:46,760 (COUGHS) 618 00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,480 - So, I'm a level three barbarian. I've got lots of arches. 619 00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:52,600 I've got the skeleton guy with the bomb. 620 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,840 Please say this is someone coming to save me. 621 00:31:54,840 --> 00:31:56,840 - (COUGHS) Oh, so, 622 00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,600 I'll just put it out, maybe. I just feel like doing that. Yeah, I had enough. 623 00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:03,680 I had enough. - You've got 20 seconds. 624 00:32:04,640 --> 00:32:07,720 - (LAUGHTER) - I feel I went into that too early, eh. 625 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:09,800 - Five seconds. - Great meeting you. 626 00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:11,800 - (LAUGHTER) - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 627 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:15,480 - Do I have to now make, like, some kind of legal disclaimer that smoking actually isn'tcool? 628 00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,480 - Are you worried that you made smoking seem too cool? 629 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:22,440 (LAUGHTER) - Yeah, that's my fear. And that we won't be allowed to broadcast it. 630 00:32:22,440 --> 00:32:25,760 - Peace out. - Thanks, Paul. Thanks, Pearl. (APPLAUSE) 631 00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:29,200 - Oh my God. - It is the ultimate humiliation, isn't it? 632 00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:31,200 - Cool Ray? - Aw. 633 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,840 - Yeah. Yeah, it's just something, you know, I think these guys have been calling me that, 634 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:38,760 you know, backstage, and, you know, just a name. I mean, 635 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:40,760 Paul, come on. 636 00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:42,760 - (LAUGHTER) - I love that. 637 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,920 It's, like, we're worried about the vaping crisis, but in Ray's mind, 638 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:48,760 there are kids at school smoking A4. 639 00:32:48,760 --> 00:32:50,760 (LAUGHTER) 640 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,360 - Dai. So, your idea of, kind of, 641 00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:55,920 cool is some kind of Bart Simpson character, 642 00:32:55,920 --> 00:32:59,880 who skateboards through the middle of a situation? 643 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,880 (LAUGHTER) - Yeah, but the thing is, 644 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,360 I had style on the skateboard. 645 00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:09,240 I did a pretty skux cartwheel. (LAUGHTER) 646 00:33:09,720 --> 00:33:13,240 - Let's take a break, while I research how to give myself partial amnesia. 647 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,440 Here's some ads. We'll see in a moment. 648 00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 649 00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:23,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 650 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:32,160 Welcome back to Taskmaster. It's lovely to have you with us. Where are we up to, Paul? 651 00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:35,360 - Our comedians have been trying to get a teen to think they're cool. 652 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,320 - I do not envy whoever has to try and be cooler than Cool Ray. 653 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:41,600 (LAUGHTER) 654 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,960 - Up next ― they have over 350,000 TikTok followers 655 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,600 between them, and one of them doesn't have TikTok ― 656 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,840 it's Karen and Mel. (LAUGHTER) 657 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,840 - Yeah, so I need a whiteboard. You don't need the phone. 658 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,600 No phones in the classroom. - You're banning the phone? 659 00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,760 - Nah, I'm not banning the phone ― that would be totally uncool. 660 00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,600 - This could be the window of our bus. - You're gonna make a bus? 661 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:04,600 - You like going on public transport. 662 00:34:04,600 --> 00:34:06,840 - I'd like to say welcome to both of you ― 663 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:08,840 Pearl, hello. 664 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,880 Paul. - Present. 665 00:34:11,000 --> 00:34:14,960 - Sorry. Um, do you have money? - Yeah, I've got my HOP card. - You got your HOP card? 666 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:18,600 - Oh, nah, I didn't pack it. - You didn't pack it? I'm a cool bus driver, 667 00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,680 and I let people on to the bus for free. Come on in. 668 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,240 - I bought some snacks. Have you had something to eat? 669 00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:28,200 - I'm not hungry. - You want some lollies? - OK. 670 00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:32,600 I like when the bus is, like, really crowded, because then there's so many different people, 671 00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,880 and it's really funny sometimes if someone gets kicked off the bus. 672 00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:38,480 - Can I get ― if there's any crew ― 673 00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:40,760 what's your favourite food? 674 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:43,640 - (COUGHS) - Excuse me. 675 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:47,120 We're in a pandemic, and you're coughing all over these people; 676 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:50,560 you're causing a danger to everyone around you, and I want you to get off this bus. 677 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:52,640 Get out of here. Bus is moving. 678 00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:54,640 He died. (LAUGHTER) 679 00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:58,800 - So, I noticed when you said hello to Paul, you did a really cool handshake thing,... 680 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,120 - Mm-hm. - ...so I think we should just make our own handshake. 681 00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,120 How's it gonna go? Boom. 682 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,560 (LAUGHTER) Is that it? 683 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,880 - Do you like lollies? - Yep. 684 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,280 - You haven't had dinner ― we're having dessert first. 685 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,680 - Oh my gosh. Yay. (LAUGHTER) 686 00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:18,200 - RAPS: # Sometimes you think that someone's a fool. 687 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:20,600 # Actually, they're really, really cool. 688 00:35:20,600 --> 00:35:24,200 # Pearl is here. She's learning all day. I think she's really cool. 689 00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:26,720 # I don't know if she's gay. It doesn't matter anyway. # 690 00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:28,720 (LAUGHS) There you go. 691 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,320 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - Did you enjoy that? - Yeah. 692 00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:33,320 - I'm glad. 693 00:35:33,320 --> 00:35:35,320 - (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 694 00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:43,760 - Karen, so, you wanted a teenager to think that you were cool, 695 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,440 so you made yourself a teacher and sent her to school? 696 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:49,840 (LAUGHTER) - She said to me that she thought her teacher was really cool. 697 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,840 And I said, 'Oh, do you think teachers are cool?' She said, 'Yes.' 698 00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:53,840 So then I went with the only thing I actually know, 699 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:57,560 other than being a high-grade celebrity, which is teaching. (LAUGHTER) 700 00:35:57,560 --> 00:36:00,440 - How did you think the handshake went down? 701 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:02,440 - (LAUGHTER) 702 00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:05,960 - I mean, to be fair, she wasn't the best at it. (LAUGHTER) 703 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:08,560 - Mel, you decided to be a cool bus driver? 704 00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,200 - (LAUGHTER) - No, she really threw me, 705 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,560 because I thought I knew the youth of today. 706 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:18,520 And she was just so excited about the idea of a bus. - I spoke to Pearl after, 707 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,760 and she said she found it quite weird that Mel got so fixated on the public transport. 708 00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:24,760 (LAUGHTER) 709 00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:27,800 - Everything I said, she said, 'Not cool.' 710 00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:31,400 And then she went, 'Oh, yeah, me and my friends go on the bus to the mall,' 711 00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:33,880 and then the wheels on the bus in my brain started moving. 712 00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:37,480 - Talking to her afterwards, she said the funnest part was the mall. 713 00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:39,480 (LAUGHTER) 714 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,960 - OK. Who's up last tonight, 715 00:36:44,960 --> 00:36:48,280 Paul? - Of our contestants, she was most recently a teenager ― 716 00:36:48,280 --> 00:36:50,280 it's Bubbah. - (LAUGHS) 717 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:53,320 - Are you ripping up the task? - Yeah. Not cos I'm nervous. 718 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:57,000 Cos I don't care. - You're gonna have 10 minutes to try and― 719 00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,280 - Nah. - What, you're not gonna do anything? 720 00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:01,920 - Nah. - You mentioned at least giving her some money. 721 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:05,160 - Oh, she didn't take it, and I didn't care that she didn't take it. 722 00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,160 What a bitch. - (LAUGHTER) 723 00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:10,640 - Did you just call Pearl a bitch? - (LAUGHS) 724 00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:12,800 I'm so sorry. (LAUGHTER) 725 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:17,280 I don't care who thinks I'm cool and who doesn't. 726 00:37:17,280 --> 00:37:20,400 And to some people, that might come out as cool. 727 00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:22,640 - Do you think Pearl might think that's cool? 728 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,520 - Pearl can go (BLEEP). (LAUGHTER) 729 00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:29,480 - What's the click? - I'm off. I'm out. See how I didn't give a shit there, Pearl? 730 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:31,480 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 731 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:37,760 - Great strategy. - Nothing like a bit of reverse psychology. 732 00:37:37,760 --> 00:37:41,720 Did you think it paid off? - No, I didn't give a shit, for real. 733 00:37:41,720 --> 00:37:44,800 - (LAUGHTER) - At one stage, you called her a bitch. 734 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,280 - And in hindsight, I'm really glad your 12-year-old self didn't have a pistol. 735 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,280 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 736 00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:55,720 - Yeah, I think definitely one point for Mel on the bus ― that was just weird. 737 00:37:55,720 --> 00:37:58,480 And then two points for Karen and the school. 738 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:00,480 - That was less cool than smoking a piece of paper? 739 00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,480 (LAUGHTER) 740 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:05,360 - If cool Ray isn't cool, then how come everyone calls him Cool Ray? 741 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:07,360 (LAUGHTER) 742 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,400 - Three points for Dai. 743 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:11,600 - Cool Ray?! What?! 744 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:15,280 - (LAUGHTER) - I mean, I'm struggling here, all right? 745 00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:17,560 Look at what I'm working with. (LAUGHTER) 746 00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,640 Four points for Cool Ray. 747 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:23,320 (LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - (COUGHS) 748 00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,040 - (LAUGHTER) - And Bubbah was genuinely cool ― 749 00:38:26,040 --> 00:38:29,520 I'll give her five. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 750 00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:33,520 - I cannot believe that. - Now that we've locked in the youth demographic,... 751 00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:37,040 (LAUGHTER) ...I think it's time to sell them some products. 752 00:38:37,040 --> 00:38:39,440 More Taskmaster after this. 753 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:41,440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 754 00:38:45,840 --> 00:38:47,840 (CHEERING APPLAUSE) 755 00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,680 Welcome back. It's nice to have you with us. 756 00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:56,160 We're about to begin our last task of the evening, 757 00:38:56,160 --> 00:38:59,520 but not before having a little squiz at the old scoreboard. 758 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:03,360 Paul, how are we looking? - In last place is Ray with eight, 759 00:39:03,360 --> 00:39:05,920 but out in first with 15 ― Bubbah. 760 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,920 - (CHEERING) - Yeah! 761 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,920 (APPLAUSE) - Well, 762 00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,320 anyone can still win this... 763 00:39:12,640 --> 00:39:15,040 apart from Ray. - (LAUGHTER) 764 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:17,920 You guys wanna head to the stage for the final live task. 765 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 766 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,880 - Karen, please take the podium to read the task. 767 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:29,000 - READS: 'Select a trophy and make an acceptance speech at the podium 768 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:31,640 'that includes the word written on the bottom of your trophy. 769 00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,240 'If the taskmaster correctly guesses your word, 770 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:37,640 'you will be eliminated. If nobody's word is guessed, 771 00:39:37,640 --> 00:39:40,520 'the weakest acceptance speech will be eliminated. 772 00:39:40,520 --> 00:39:42,560 'Speeches will get shorter with each round. 773 00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:46,360 - 'The last player standing wins.' Thank you. 774 00:39:46,360 --> 00:39:49,880 - OK, we're gonna go in the reverse order that you sit in. 775 00:39:49,880 --> 00:39:53,080 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Oh, thank you. 776 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:57,120 It was an honour to be here at the Burger Awards for my innovative burger, 777 00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:00,760 made of skunks and rabbits and deer and venison... 778 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:02,760 and pigs and ointments. 779 00:40:02,760 --> 00:40:05,200 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - Burger. - (BUZZ!) 780 00:40:05,240 --> 00:40:09,200 - My time in the circus, I can't say it's been an easy ride. 781 00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:13,240 When I got tangled up in the elephant's trunk, 782 00:40:13,240 --> 00:40:16,840 when I almost died on the trapeze and on the trampoline ― 783 00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:19,000 that was the toughest. - Elephant 784 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:22,960 - (BUZZ) - Obviously, I'm excited to be here to accept this cooking award. 785 00:40:22,960 --> 00:40:26,320 The fact that I've won this award for my culinary skills in both fettuccine, 786 00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:29,000 spaghetti, bolognese, lasagne, 787 00:40:29,000 --> 00:40:31,960 and especially my meat-sauce - Spaghetti. - (BUZZ!) 788 00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:36,240 - A lot of people out there think menstruation and fast cars don't go together. 789 00:40:36,240 --> 00:40:39,800 - (LAUGHTER) - But I've loved cars, 790 00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:41,800 from tail to snout, 791 00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,960 from soup to nuts, from Edam to cheddar. 792 00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,480 The fact that I get to start races because― - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 793 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,320 - Menstruation. - (BUZZ!) - Things, folks ― 794 00:40:51,320 --> 00:40:54,840 people of the land and, uh, things of the sea. 795 00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:57,400 Here I am with the big pufferfish. 796 00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,760 Whoa. Don't be a calamari, you scallop. 797 00:40:59,760 --> 00:41:02,680 (LAUGHTER) 798 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,440 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - (LAUGHS) 799 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:09,200 - Scallop? - Argh! (LAUGHTER) 800 00:41:09,200 --> 00:41:11,760 - Bubbah has been eliminated. Ray O'Leary. 801 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,720 - Thank you so much for the Astrological Society, as I am a Pisces, 802 00:41:15,720 --> 00:41:19,440 but I'd like to shout out to all my other star signs, Aries, 803 00:41:19,440 --> 00:41:21,840 Sagittarius, Gemini, Cancer. - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 804 00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,440 - (LAUGHTER) - Pisces. - (BUZZ!) 805 00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,040 - It's special to be here in Blenheim to win my... 806 00:41:27,040 --> 00:41:29,040 Denim Award, 807 00:41:29,040 --> 00:41:31,040 for the... 808 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,960 semen that I've drunk. 809 00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:35,960 (LAUGHTER) 810 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:39,760 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - Semen. - (BUZZ!) 811 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:43,560 - I'm so happy to be here, cos I won the amazing best travel show in the whole history of television. 812 00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:46,360 I've been to some amazing places. I've been to South Africa. I've been to Namibia, Zambia. 813 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,360 I've been to the place with the lemurs, what that's called, that one, 814 00:41:48,360 --> 00:41:51,040 that's in the movie? Madagascar. I've been to Tanzania and also Ghana. 815 00:41:51,040 --> 00:41:53,200 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - They dance well over there. - Tanzania. 816 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,880 - (BUZZ!) - I work in a bakery in the morning, 817 00:41:55,880 --> 00:42:00,080 usually doing cinnamon scrolls, all sorts of loaf. - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 818 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,200 - Cinnamon scrolls. - (BUZZ!) - Taskmaster, 819 00:42:02,200 --> 00:42:04,200 who had the worst speech of that round? 820 00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:06,400 - Dai. - Yeah. - (LAUGHTER) 821 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:09,200 - Your speech time is now 10 seconds. 822 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:12,720 - It's an honour to be here in Blenheim, and recognised for all the semen I've drunk. 823 00:42:12,720 --> 00:42:16,000 I had a big sleep, a big nap before I came here, 824 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000 and boy, are my arms tired! 825 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,600 And the pillow was― - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - Pillow. 826 00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,440 - I know that this is a Sauntering Awards for the best kind of walk. 827 00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:27,120 Some people go with a jig, some people go with a skip, 828 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:28,920 but for me, it's a plod. - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 829 00:42:28,920 --> 00:42:30,920 - Jig. - (BUZZ!) - Yeah, amazing to be here, 830 00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:32,920 at the Tradie Awards. Obviously, I've been a tradie for a while ― kitchens; 831 00:42:32,920 --> 00:42:35,480 you know, it's bathrooms, it's tiling, it's grouting, it's doing all your plumbing. 832 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,480 Anything you need, I can do it. - (BLOWS WHISTLE) 833 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,080 - Kitchen. - (BUZZ!) - Who had the worst speech? 834 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,480 - Karen. - Oh what?! - (LAUGHTER) 835 00:42:42,520 --> 00:42:44,840 - We're down to our final two, Ray and Melanie, 836 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:47,720 and I'm lowering the time to five seconds. 837 00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:50,240 - Acquire, acquiesce, aquarium ― 838 00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:53,280 these are just some of the words that come to mind as I win the... 839 00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,560 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - ...Best Penis Award. - (LAUGHTER) 840 00:42:56,560 --> 00:43:00,360 - Aquarium. - (BUZZ!) - Oh, just pussyfoot... 841 00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:02,960 - (LAUGHTER) - ...and other things that you find― 842 00:43:02,960 --> 00:43:06,400 - (BLOWS WHISTLE) - Pussyfoot. 843 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:09,080 - (DING!) - Yeah, I reckon that you're right. - (LAUGHTER) 844 00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:11,960 - That means the winner of the task is Cool Ray. 845 00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,680 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 846 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,360 - Come on down, everyone, and we'll score it. 847 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,360 (APPLAUSE) 848 00:43:24,360 --> 00:43:27,280 How did everyone go, Paul? - So, one point for Bubbah, 849 00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,400 two points for Dai, three points for Karen, four points for Mel, 850 00:43:30,400 --> 00:43:32,800 and five points for Cool Ray. 851 00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:34,800 (CHEERING) 852 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:37,680 - How's our overall series scores looking? 853 00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:39,840 - It's tight. It's really tight. 854 00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:42,280 In first place by only four points, 855 00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:44,360 it's Melanie Bracewell. 856 00:43:44,360 --> 00:43:46,480 - (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - OK. 857 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:48,480 Well, more importantly, 858 00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:51,440 who is taking home the spoils tonight? 859 00:43:51,440 --> 00:43:54,800 - With 16 points, the winner of episode seven, 860 00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:56,800 Bubbah! 861 00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:58,960 - (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Yeah! 862 00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,400 - Oh my God! - Congratulations, Bubbah. 863 00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:05,360 Go and enjoy your prizes and make your 12-year-old self proud. 864 00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,040 - (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - (LAUGHS) 865 00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,760 - In the words of Shania Twain, it looks like we made it. 866 00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,880 We learned that the best way to stump a comedian is to get them to 867 00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,640 attempt a sport or try to seem cool. - (LAUGHTER) 868 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,520 And most importantly, we learned that Bubbah is the winner of episode 869 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,000 seven! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 870 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:30,680 Ka kite, everybody. We'll see you next time. 871 00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:36,080 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - I won! (LAUGHS) I won! Is it real? (GASPS) 872 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:40,080 Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. 873 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,280 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023. 874 00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:45,280 Stop looking at me. (LAUGHTER) 875 00:44:45,280 --> 00:44:47,120 Shit. Argh! 876 00:44:47,120 --> 00:44:49,920 - That's one of the worst attempts at a task ever. 877 00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,760 - Boom time! - Boom time. - Boom time. 878 00:44:52,760 --> 00:44:55,080 - It seemed like just a collection of crap tied together. 879 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:59,680 - Well, I could say the same about your judging. - (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)