Chee-hoo!
Oof!
Shame!
All right?
Whee!
- Say cheese. - Cheese.
www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023
Kia ora koutou, and welcome to Taskmaster New Zealand.
My name is Jeremy Wells, and I am sitting in this glorious golden throne
because all the other candidates for this job fell ill to a mysterious, wasting disease
that I miraculously avoided. Bad luck for them, I guess.
But good luck for me, you've gotta say, because I'm now the Taskmaster.
A few months ago, I asked five of New Zealand's best brightest, and ― let's be honest ―
most affordable comedians to complete a series of skewwhiff tasks.
Tonight, we'll watch some of those tasks, hand out some points
and figure out who deserves to win this ―
the official Taskmaster trophy made from 100% pure zero karat gold.
Competing for this extremely worthwhile prize is Bubbah!
Dai Henwood!
Karen O'Leary!
Mel Bracewell!
And Ray O'Leary!
And, as always, by my side is a man I can't live without, but will never live with me
despite his constant requests to move into my spare room.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams.
♪ Where we sing instead of talking.
♪ Where we dance instead of walking.
♪ It's the musical
♪ eeeee-pi-soooode.
Cool. We're gonna do a musical episode.
♪ I wasn't expecting you to say that.
♪ To be honest, I think that it might get...
♪ kind of annoying...
♪ so maybe we should...
♪ just―
Just― Maybe we should just talk.
Yeah. - Anyway, how are we kicking things off this evening.
As always, we are kicking off with a prize task, Jeremy.
So we've asked our contestants to bring in the sexiest inanimate object.
And whoever wins the episode will get to take home all five sexy objects.
OK. let's go to Dai Henwood, first of all.
Well, I grew up in Wellington, and I used to walk along Lambton Quay,
and there was one particular shop called Mischief,
and they had the sexiest mannequins...
...out of any shop, and mannequins really became a touchpoint for me at an early age.
I'm talking everything from a male seated mannequin to a dressmaker's doll...
I feel I've revealed a lot, so let's just have a look at what I have bought in.
You have literally objectified a woman.
And also, just as someone else that grew up in Wellington,
Mischief was a shoe shop, so I'm not quite sure...
...what that mannequin would have been used for.
Oh, this isn't one of the Mischief mannequins. The Mischief ones sort of had a bit moreof a...
- Ray, what did you bring in? - Um, I bought in an hourglass.
OK. What's sexy about an hourglass?
I don't know why, but society, for some reason, uses hourglasses to measure two things―
time and human bodies.
And also, I think one of the most attractive qualities in a person is their ability to measure an hour.
- Karen, what did you bring in? - Yes?
Well, look, as someone who identifies as female, uses the she/her pronouns,
there's nothing sexier to me than housework
And, so, you know, I've tried Chux. I've tried handy towels, whatever.
But when I stumbled across this, I was, like, my life is about to change, and I found this.
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, everyone loves a Scrub Daddy!
But even if you look at the back of it, the innuendo that exists,
forget about it being a cleaning thing ― look at the bottom one.
'Deep cleaning. My eyes provide an ergonomic grip with just two fingers.'
I mean, if you forget that you're cleaning, that's a good time.
And then, 'Versatile smile.' 'My smile cleans both sides of your utensils.'
That sponge is giving that spoon a , and I think it's having a great time.
- Bubbah. - So I couldn't afford a life-sized wax figure of Savage.
Instead I've brought in this.
So this here is a heater,
because I'm the type of person, if you get into my car, the heat is always up.
I've also got these photos which have the sexiest love story, and they're on the heater.
- Oh, no. - So they're― Boy and girl meet.
And then they have a moment.
Oh, God.
And then the sexy part happens.
Oh, God.
I-I-I think I need a Scrub Daddy.
Wait, that's me in the background!
Oh my gosh! It is!
- I don't remember that. - Yeah, you asked to watch.
Mel, what did you bring in?
I brought in this... cos I think there's nothing sexier than someone who listens.
But also, it is an orifice, so you could have sex with it if you wanted to,
but I just thought it's a representation of a healthy relationship.
So if you met someone who was hearing-impaired, you would find them―
- Oh my God. - This is a good point. - ...physically repulsive.
- Yeah, that's right. - It's a metaphor! It's a metaphor!
I've gotta say, there's not a lot that's sexy up there.
- Aw, come on! - Oh, pfft. - In terms of judgement,
I think one point for the Scrub Daddy. - Oh, what?!!
This is a travesty.
You think that's the sexiest object?
Two points for Mel's Ear. - OK, that's fine. But I'm shocked that I beat the Scrub Daddy.
Three points for Ray's hourglass. You see where we're getting here? OK? These things are getting sexier.
Four points for Dai's mannequin.
And I've gotta say, that heater with the porno on it was quite hot.
OK, Paul, let's dive into a proper task and see if they can keep up that amazing streak, eh?
We've all heard of abullin achina shop.
Well, here's a task that involves apulland achina shot.
Where's Paul?
What is that?
What the―
- I-I didn't hit you, did I? - Nah, you― You're a terrible shot.
- Pfft. Trust me, if I wanted to, I could have hit you. - OK. Do it again, then.
Let's just move on.
'Fire ammunition from the slingshot and knock the fine china off the towers.'
'Each piece of ammunition must be different...'
'...and start with the same letter of the alphabet.'
'You may only shoot each item once.'
'You have five minutes to retrieve your ammunition.'
'Your time starts now.'
Where's the― What's― What's the slingshot?
I have to make it?
Oh my gosh.
Full of glitter.
That is amazing you did not see that giant slingshot.
I dunno, bro! I need to get my eyes checked. Oh my gosh.
Lovely, simple task. Hit the thing with the other thing. Let's see how this goes.
First up, it's Bull's-eye Bubbah.
You've got 2 minutes and 20 seconds. - I know! Hey, shut up! I'm thinking!
And it can't be the same thing? - Correct. Eight seconds.
Stop gathering.
What's your letter? - 'P'.
- What is that? - This is polo.
In Samoan, it starts with a 'P'.
I'll accept it. What are the other items?
Um, a pretend police gun.
OK. That's debateable.
Pinky toe offender. And a prop.
OK. And the skateboard?
A player's utensil.
That was really close.
OK, wait. Maybe my items are too small.
Oh!
Does that count? - Yeah. - Yes!
And you. And you. - OK.
You really let it take you.
You stopped yourself! - I'm quite heavy for that slingshot.
So you went into the shed, and you seemed like you were being incredibly selective,
and then you came out with just a random collection of crap.
Well, cos I forgot about the 'P' thing, but I reckon I did pretty good naming that stuff.
- Yeah. - Yeah, you did, eh. - No, you did.
When I was a kid, I loved playing Tony Hawk's Pro Player Utensil 2
All right, fire some more slingshot action my way will you, Paul?
Up next, it's Dai and Ray.
Um... Um...
Stick, spaghetti, salt, stone, silverware.
Sunflower could be useful, eh?
Eight seconds. Um...
Who would've thought I'd find a sipping vessel in there!
- Um, my letter is 'S'. - So what's that? - Um, a steam device.
I've got a feeling these are all the same item.
- Stakes. - Yeah, stakes.
So, what― I'll probably fire these as one?
- And what's that? - Oh, scholastics.
- Scholastics? - Yeah. Scholarly pursuits.
I'll try hit the thing at the very far end with the spices.
All right.
Oh no.
Come on, sipping vessel.
That went better than expected.
- So what is this object? - This is a statue's arm. - OK.
OK, we've got a teapot.
- The binoculars? - The seeing device.
'Seeing device.' Sorry.
How about that?
That really hurt, and it didn't go very far.
So are all those stones different objects?
Some are skipping stones. Stones for rolling. Some are stones for the driveway.
So that― So I― So I can use them all.
Oh, that was excellent. Was that two in a row?
Whoo!
I've named this stone Simon.
Most people call that Simon?
Yeah, I think― Absolutely.
Come on, Simon.
Oh, holy moly! Look at that. It's three down.
This is my last item.
Better than I thought.
If we get into― Like, if someone attacks us? - Mm-hm.
- Pegs and stones. - Are they called pegs?
They're― No, why would you call them pegs? They're stakes, man.
Great work, Ray. - Yeah.
Two more dubious names going on there. 'Scholarly pursuits. Stones for driveway.'
Yeah, I remember that I called one Sylvester St-stone.
And what happened with Dai and the pegs? What was he―
You thought they were stakes, but then you ended up calling them pegs.
Oh, yeah, that was a rookie mistake.
I don't use a lot of them,
but I should have actually taken Ray's advice and had them as different type of stakes.
Like, a silver stake, a stake-stake.
Right. If you at home are looking for some target practice,
maybe go and grab your slingshots and see if you can hit these ads, cos we'll be back very, verysoon.
Welcome back to Taskmaster. What's been happening, Paul?
Our five contestants are attempting to hit targets with a giant slingshot
and whatever ammunition they can find.
They only have 5 minutes to find their ammunition,
and the ammunition must start with the same letter.
- Who have we got left on this one? - Our final two sharpshooters ― it's Karen and Mel.
My letter is 'B.'
So, I've got a beacon, blower, a bat, a ball, some beads...
Banana? Bucket. Bottle.
Ball. Basketball ― different kind of ball.
Right, I'm just gonna start now with an obvious one.
Oh, that was close!
- Can I move the slingshot? - It's quite big.
Just gonna move a little bit closer just to make it a little bit easier.
It was close.
Oh! No.
Can't miss here.
I don't like this one.
Thank you!
Fine ammunition from the slingshot andknock the fine China off the towers.
They don't have to be together.
I feel like Mahe Drysdale.
- You're gonna fling your bib? - I've got a bib.
Why did that go better than I thought?
And for my final act, I will be firing a Bracewell.
I didn't fall!
- How many did you get? - Five. Probably four and a half.
- So what did you fire in that last shot? - I fired a Bracewell.
- Is that what you're called? - I am a Bracewell. Yes.
Ah, yes.
Very clever. I feel like we have a couple of loopholers here.
You guys are idiots, clearly.
That must have been frustrating to watch.
It certainly was.
So what are the scores there, Paul?
So Bubbah hit one, Ray and Dai both hit three,
and then if you're accepting it, Karen and Mel both at five.
Yeah, I am accepting it.
Also, I felt like our objects, their crucial name, we stuck to it.
- Yeah. We chose things that actually started with that letter. - Yeah.
OK― You've won. You don't need to―
Sorry, I was just― I was just too excited.
So that means that it's gonna be one point for Bubbah, three points for Ray and Dai,
and Mel and Karen can get 5 points.
And it's about this point in the episode
that I start wondering about what our scores are looking like, Paul?
Currently in first equal, both on 7, it's Dai and Mel.
All right. Let's plough on through to our next one, shall we, Paul?
♪ It's for a musical task.
Hello.
- Hello, Bubbah. - Hello.
Hello, Paul.
- Great to see you. - Likewise.
- Which one shall I open, do you think? - Fully up to you.
This one's got more words.
'Write and perform a duet with yourself.'
'Most romantic duet wins.'
'You have one hour.'
Wow. I can do an whole album in an hour.
What's this one say?
It says the same thing. - Mm-hm.
'Your time starts...
'...now.'
Have you ever written a song before?
No.
I don't have a musical bone in my body.
That was, 'Celebrate good times. Come on.'
You have to pretend like some of it's me and some of it's someone else.
But you should be able to tell who the someone else is.
This green wig is DJ Gush Steady.
Gush Steady in the house! Bomba blast!
What a beautiful task for episode nine. Just lovely.
Let's hear some comedians serenading themselves, shall we, Paul?
Up first, a DJ set from DJ Gush Steady himself. It's Dai Henwood.
Welcome to the massive! Welcome to everyone who's carrying with them both privilege and underprivilege.
We've all got gumboots, but what do you fill yours with?
♪ I'm just a man with 17 pants.
♪ And the way that you look makes me wanna dance.
♪ I'm just a girl with jeans and a fly.
♪ You say, 'Come over here,' and it makes me wanna cry.
♪ Well, come a little closer, cos I can be your man.
♪ I will glaze your face and body like you're a Christmas ham.
♪ We don't need to cuddle I turn sheets into puddles.
♪ It is all about the love and praise from above.
♪ Then let's get married.
♪ We won't fight and bicker.
♪ When the kids have gone to bed, I'll ram-raid your knickers. ♪
Very good!
'When the kids have gone to bed... '...I'll ram raid your knickers.'
Yeah.
Yeah, but it was about―
But it was about, you know, you might go to a dance in a Rotary Hall or a Lions Hall,
and there's people from a lot of different backgrounds,
and then there's usually a pretty left-field DJ with a serious substance abuse problem,
and he brings you together.
What a beautiful message that is.
Who's up next, Paul?
Grab your tissues, because it's time for a break-up ballad from Bubbah.
I'm here to pick up my stuff.
What'd you leave behind?
Um, a few bobby pins, and―
Don't say it.
...my heart.
♪ Cos I've been sleeping on your side of the bed since you left.
♪ We're not good together. We're like Jack and Bess.
♪ And this love is so strong that it's so scary.
♪ But I'll never leave you again.
♪ You're not a scooter at the dairy.
♪ That's so romantic.
♪ And you're enchanted.
♪ And that's all I need to know ― is the love that you show.
♪ Cos we say less, but you pay more attention.
♪ So get back in my arms.
♪ Come...
♪ ...get...
♪ ...this...
♪ ...affection.
Get in here, girl.
Aw!
- That was genuinely moving. - Thank you.
What happened after that?
They ed.
- Two very distinct characters. Very well played. - Thank you, Taskmaster.
So good.
More one-hit wonders coming up, but first, here's some ads.
Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster.
Paul, where are we at?
We've been tapping our toes to Gush Steady's banger and Bubbah's heart-breaking ballad.
Next in the playlist, dueting with Ray O'Leary, it's Karen O'Leary guitar-ing so clearly.
♪ Karen.
♪ Karen O'Leary.
♪ You really make my everything sing.
♪ You are the wind beneath my wing.
♪ Well, Ray, I love you so much too.
♪ And I do love your size 13 shoe.
♪ Ray...
♪ and Karen O'Leary.
♪ A love so big it's almost scary.
♪ A love that will never...
♪ end.
Emotion. - Emotional. Yeah.
OK, So you fell in love with a shoe?
- With Ray! - I fell in love with Ray.
- Who was Ray? Where was Ray? - So, I was singing a duet to myself,
but one of my selves was playing another character, which was Ray O'Leary.
Hilariously, we've got the same surname.
And I― Very impressive use your teeth to undo Ray's shoelace.
- I can do it again now, if you'd like? - I'd love you to.
Oh, no―
Oh my God!
Hold me, Melanie.
I dunno if you just heard Ray say, 'Hold me, Melanie.'
Who's next, Paul?
It's Archipelago's In The Creek ― a duet by Ray O'Leary and Ray O'Leary.
♪ Ray, I love your curly hair.
♪ And I like your glasses you're wearing over there.
♪ Ray, you make my heart flutter.
♪ And my love for you is as smooth as your favourite peanut butter.
♪ Ray, I love you even though you're from Wanganui,
♪ and the river is so brown there, it looks a little poo-y.
♪ We can spend the days together, going out and playing bowls,
♪ and I'll take all your money when you die of high cholesterol.
♪ Mm. ♪ Uh-uh. Uh-huh-huh.
♪ Yeah. Coming in with a rap verse.
♪ Time to back up the rap verse.
♪ Yeah. Archipelago's in the crib.
♪ That's who we are, just a couple of freaks...
Archipelago!
♪ ...who can't drive a car.
♪ Get an Uber with me back to my flat.
♪ Yeah, my boys!
♪ Split the rent together or we can move in with my mother.
♪ His mother...
♪ is my mother.
♪ Word to your mother.
♪ I'm coming out for all your mothers.
You happy with that?
I think I nailed the rapping.
- OK. - Yeah, I felt like a white Eminem.
You took on quite a lot, there, Ray. You started with what I think was folk, maybe spoken word,
and then by the end, you were doing hip hop.
I can explain.
Well, originally I wrote a song to the tune of Islands In The Stream,
and then they came in and said, 'We can't afford to pay $10,000 for you to sing,' and I hadto pivot.
So the two different Ray characters― Just, one had glasses and one didn't?
Yeah, that's the two sides of my personality,
is one who can see well and one who's, sort of, blind as a bat.
So, who's closing out our set tonight, Paul?
Who else, Jeremy, but a couple of Mel Bracewells.
♪ I like your hair.
♪ And I like your eyes too.
♪ You make me smile.
♪ And you know that that's true.
♪ I've got to say that I love you too.
♪ Here's all the things that I love about you.
♪ Oh, I love that you're fit. I love your tits.
♪ I love that you don't flinch when I send a dick pic.
♪ Personality is nice, but your arse is nicer.
♪ I'm going to inject you like the Pfizer.
♪ Come on. girl, Let's get to bed.
♪ I'm so glad that you aren't de-e-ead.
Love!
♪ We love each other.
♪ Love one another.
♪ I don't like your brother.
♪ Love.
♪ You can feel stuck.
♪ Cos on one hand, I love you the way the way that you is.
♪ The other hand, I just wanna cover you in―
♪ ...a kiss.
♪ Love.
Beautiful. I mean, who knew that you had such a vulgar misogynist in you?
The guy with the hat was brutal.
Yeah man, it lives deep within me.
- Look, the harmonies were really good. - Thank you.
And seeing the two― I thought you did a great job, to be honest.
In fact, I thought everybody did a great job.
Apart from Ray.
10 points for effort, Ray, but I think one point for execution.
Wait, so 11 points?
Sorry, no.
No. One point for Ray. - OK.
Two points for Karen.
Three points for Mel.
I would have given you four points, but that disgusting man was very sexist,
so I'm only gonna give you three. - Fair enough.
Four points for Dai, with the fantastic Christian message, and―
I've gotta give Bubbah five for that, cos that was quite something.
Well done.
All right, I believe it's time for another task, Paul. - You are 100% correct, Jeremy.
It's time to do some multitasking.
Paul!
- Hello, Mel. - Hello.
Hello, Paul.
- Hello, Bubbah. - 'Sup.
Hello, Karen.
- How have you been? - Not well.
Oh, well. Not really my issue. Where's the―
- Where's my little paper thing? - It's on the desk.
Oh!
There's a little task under there.
Found it straight away.
- What are you looking for? - I don't know.
- Why are you so suspicious? - It's that kind of show. I'm very paranoid.
Every time I come into this room,
I feel like I'm about to be given a task that no one else is going to do.
- I wouldn't let that happen. - I think you would.
See, you're laughing now. Like, is this one? Is someone else opening this right now?
Not right now.
OK...
'Find and complete the most tasks.'
'Most completed tasks wins.'
'You must complete a task...'
'...before opening a new one.'
'You have 10 minutes.'
'Your time starts...'
'...now.'
- What would you call this? It's a multitask, really, isn't it? - Yeah.
Very simple. Find as many tasks as possible and complete them,
and you can't move on until you've completed the task you've found.
I can't wait to see what little tasks are waiting out there for our comedians.
Whose multitasking are we gonna see first, Paul?
He loves doing tasks so much that he agreed to be on Taskmaster New Zealand. It's Dai Henwood.
'Punch something, but don't hurt yourself.'
Disaster.
Behind the K.
'Poke your tongue out.'
'Remove an item of clothing.'
Gidday, fish.
'Eat something while sitting at the desk.'
Gasping for a jelly baby. Just had one.
We'll look under the duck.
'Go to the lake and bring back some water.'
This was a really bad one. What's the time like?
You've got six minutes and eight seconds.
Oh, how do you get to the ing lake?
The latch on your gate, mate...
Shambles.
'Dance for 10 seconds while repeating the phrase...'
♪ Look at me dance.
Look
at
me
dance.
♪ Look at me dance.
Now I'm finished, and I'm reading―
'Whistle.'
12 seconds.
Six, five...
four, three...
two, one.
That was great fun, man. - OK. - Thank you very much, Paul.
- Thank you, Dai. - Can I take this now?
Huh.
There's a task stuck to it.
We'll never know what that was.
Ever.
So, you did pretty well, Dai. You probably think a tactical error heading down to the lake.
But I gotta― I got some steps in going to the lake.
The key― I think my thing was when you plan to run to a lake,
find out where the lake is first.
Establish a path. Don't just run to a fully gated car park, assuming that is the lake.
- How did Dai go? - So, 13 is the score to beat. - OK. 13.
Now it's time for a task for you at home.
Watch these ads and buy one of every product you see.
More Taskmaster after this.
Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that pits comedians against each other
in the hopes of winning sexy prizes, like an hourglass and a sponge.
Paul, could you give us a recap, please?
Our contestants are currently completing a task where they must complete the most tasks.
Up next, it's Bubbah, Karen and Mel.
'Passionately kiss an imaginary person.'
Mwah!
'Do a cartwheel, no matter how pathetic.'
Shit.
'Say "carrot" 10 times.' Carrot. Carrot.
Carrot. Carrot. Carrot. Carrot.
Carrot. Carrot?
Peek-a-boo!
'Donate to charity.'
'Yell something you like about yourself.'
I'm gay!
'Thank you for your support.' There you go.
'Eat something while sitting at the desk.'
'ISIS?'
I don't know if I'd call that a charity.
'Whistle.'
Under the duck.
This is weird. 'Give Paul a lap dance.'
This is actually really weird. - It doesn't say that.
OK, it just says remove an item of clothing.
I bet you love whistling as well. I bet this is all a freakin', little ruse.
You're, like, 'Ooh. I love it when girls whistle and eat a lolly at a desk.'
'Whistle for seven seconds.'
I love whistling.
'Remove an item of clothing.'
This is a rude show! - I'll look away.
This is some white people shit, Paul!
Ooh, hello.
Oh, I can't burp! I can't fake burp!
- What did it say? - It said 'burp'!
'Crawl under the desk three times.'
Oh, shit!
Yes! OK! All right!
This is a crawl.
Peek-a-boo!
'18-second puppet show with two objects.'
'Yeah, gidday, mate. How's it going?'
'Well, you know, just, um, having a bit of a shit of a day, to be fair.
'Um― I've been hanging out with this guy, Paul, all day, and it's just―
'You know, it's really grinding my gears.'
- OK, that's enough. That's enough. - OK, good.
Have you got one?
Nope.
'Remove an item of clothing.'
Saucy.
There we go.
'Gargle some water while sitting at the desk.'
I don't― I don't have―
Can I put it back on now that I've removed it?
- Yeah, probably. Sorry about that last one. - That's OK.
Whatever you're into, Paul. - I like whistling.
Ugh.
- Oh. OK, I didn't expect you to spit it― - Yeah, same.
'Do the last task you did before this one again.'
Take my shorts off again? All right. What are the chances of that?
Nailed it!
Again! Another whistle. Of course, you freak.
I'm gonna put my clothes back on now. Is that OK? - Yes.
If it's your first time watching Taskmaster,
not all the tasks involve multiple women taking off multiple pieces of clothing
while Paul Williams watches from a chaise lounge.
I like the fact, Bubbah, that you thought that taking off your clothes was filthy white person...
I dunno. I blame youse for everything.
It's probably fair, to be honest.
Mel, how much money did you donate to ISIS?
I didn't― I donated $50 to the Women's Refuge.
Yeah, it's not that much, but...
- How did everyone go, Paul? - So the score to beat was 13.
Karen Completed 11 tasks.
Mel ― 12. - Ooh.
- Bubbah ― 16. - Ooh.
- Who's up next, then? - Up next, our final multitasker, it's Ray O'Leary.
'Remove an item of clothing.'
Oh, there's one.
'Do five yoga poses.'
Is that downward dog? - I'll accept it.
Can I just do that five times?
Cos it didn't say do five different yoga poses, did it?
I feel like I'm praying to Mecca.
Are you sitting on one? Do you have one in your pockets?
Do you have one in your...
Why do you have this? How many do you have?
Do you have all the tasks here?
Aw!
You look like a task suicide bomber.
'Reach up high.'
'Bend down low.'
'Wave.'
'Find something that's your favourite colour.'
Red's my favourite colour. This is red.
'Poke your tongue out.'
'Sniff your elbow.'
Oh, my Lord.
'Kiss three walls.' Ugh, gross.
Paul, could you please take off your jacket, please?
'Caress a plant.'
♪ La-da-da-di, la-da-da.
'Pretend to be electrocuted for seven seconds.'
'Passionately sing the colour of your hair.'
♪ Brown!
'Pat yourself on the back.'
'Pat your head and rub your tummy.' 12 seconds.
'Clap.'
'Shake hands with Paul.'
'Jump.'
'Sit down.'
OK.
- Was there a taskinmy clothes? - I'm not sure.
Well, there's a task underneath...
'Accurately perform a Shakespeare soliloquy of your choice.' I'm glad I didn't find that one.
- You found the motherlode there. - Yes.
- You were like a kid in a candy shop. - Yes, I felt like a truffle pig.
- How did Ray go? - So the score to beat was 16. Ray found 32.
All right, so what were the final scores there, then, Paul?
That means 1 point for Karen, 2 points for Mel, 3 points for Dai,
4 points for Bubbah, and 5 points for Ray.
Well done.
We're about to cut to some ads, but first,
can you at home find all the tasks Paul Williams has hidden around your house?
Go and have a look around. Your time starts now.
It's nice to have you with us on Taskmaster.
Before we force our comedians into one last potentially embarrassing situation,
let's find out what our scores look like. Paul?
It's very close, but out in first with 15 points, it's Bubbah.
OK, here we go. Everyone, please head upstairs to the stage for the live task.
Paul, can someone who's not you please tell me what's going on up there?
Ray O'Leary.
'Paint a painting on the canvas in front of you.
'You must paint with the hand that is attached to your team's pole.
'One member of each team must paint a handsome horse, and one must paint a dangerous duck.
'One member of the team of three must paint a dangerous duck riding a handsome horse.
'Best paintings after three minutes wins.'
Are you ready?
You're duck? And Bubbah? Yeah.
Stop talking, please.
- All right, Dad. - Sorry!
Oh no. Oh, shit!
Mine's really pulling left here! Oh, sorry!
All these photorealism classes paid off.
Ray, being tied to you while you make these noises is unsettling.
I need a little bit of leeway here for a second― Coming left, if that's cool? Thanks, guys.
I've ruined it.
Cool, we can go back to―
Don't worry. I'm nailing it.
Don't do that circle thing. Oh, shit. Sorry!
20 seconds. - Oh, my gosh!
Can we just go left? - Sorry!
- What else should I paint? - Oh, , Ray.
Everybody, come on down, and we'll judge them.
Great to have you back, everyone. Please take your seat with your paintings.
We'll have a look at them and judge them, eh?
Ray, let's start with you.
I've painted an incredibly dangerous duck.
So dangerous it is currently mid-bank robbery.
- Baby blue gun? - Yeah.
It's holding up a gender reveal party.
Mel Bracewell, what did you paint?
Obviously, this is a handsome horse.
And handsome, although― It is kind
of like a male-centred compliment,
so that's actually not a leg.
Oh. It's a stallion.
- Yeah, it is a stallion. - OK.
Karen, what did you paint?
Well, I've obviously got Black Beauty here, um,
who's just frolicking in the field,
and then has been hijacked by this dangerous duck.
And then I've put some quotations here which says, ' death!'
And the horse is like,
Ne-e-e-e-igh! - Oh, I see.
Cos it knows it's about to become a gutser.
This is art. - Beautiful.
I'll tell you what's not beautiful, and that's yours, Dai.
What's more dangerous than the green-eyed monster, jealousy?
This is a jealous, dangerous duck.
So he went, 'I'm gonna destroy my wife―
'Not my wife, but the ma―'
'I'm gonna destroy the man who's been making me a cuckold, with a gun.'
Bubbah, can you describe your piece of art, please?
First of all, he's got a handsome name. His name is Jeremy.
Ohhhh my God.
And he was born with some differences,
and I feel like he'd be a great advocate for horses that look not like horses.
Um, so his teeth was growing outside of his mouth when he was born.
And he's got a blue eye and one big-ass Cindy Crawford mole on his belly.
Look, great paintings, apart from Dai's.
So, Dai, you're gonna get one point. - Fair enough.
- Nice use of colour, Ray. - Thank you.
- But two points to you. - Oh.
Three points for Jeremy The Handsome Horse.
Four points for Karen's homage to Colin McCann.
And I think five points for Mel's very beautiful horse.
OK, so that means that by the slimmest of margins,
the winner of episode nine is Bubbah.
Yeahhh!
Congratulations, Bubbah. You are now the proud owner of a bunch of sexy objects.
So please head up to the stage and enjoy them in a family-friendly way while the cameras are still rolling.
Please. You've earned them. Go on, get up there.
What did we learn this evening?
We learned that only losers call them skateboards instead of players' utensils.
And most importantly, we learned that Bubbah is the winner of episode nine.
Ka kite, everybody. We'll see you next time.
Woo-hoo!
It's gonna be, like, 'Lay an egg. Your time starts now.'
And what a fun time.
You bastard!
You cheating bitch! Why did you cheat on me?
I filed a police report!
This is insane.
It's time to announce the winner of season four.
It's about time! It's only episode 10. Woo-hoo!