1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,320 (TYPEWRITER WHEEL CLICKS) 2 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,120 Chee-hoo! 3 00:00:04,120 --> 00:00:06,120 (TASKMASTER THEME) 4 00:00:06,600 --> 00:00:07,400 Oof! 5 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:08,840 (TYPEWRITER CLACKS) 6 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,840 (CACKLES) 7 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:12,880 (BURPS) 8 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:13,560 Shame! 9 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:14,800 (BLUBBERS) 10 00:00:14,800 --> 00:00:16,360 All right? 11 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:17,320 Whee! 12 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:18,120 (GROANS) 13 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:19,160 (GIGGLES) 14 00:00:19,160 --> 00:00:21,160 (TYPEWRITER CLACKS) 15 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,160 (GASPS) 16 00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:25,160 (SHRIEKS) 17 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,520 - Say cheese. - (SIGHS) Cheese. 18 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:32,600 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2023 19 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,080 Kia ora koutou, and welcome to Taskmaster New Zealand. 20 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:46,280 My name is Jeremy Wells, and I am sitting in this glorious golden throne 21 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:51,040 because all the other candidates for this job fell ill to a mysterious, wasting disease 22 00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:54,760 that I miraculously avoided. Bad luck for them, I guess. 23 00:00:54,760 --> 00:01:02,080 But good luck for me, you've gotta say, because I'm now the Taskmaster. (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 24 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:06,720 A few months ago, I asked five of New Zealand's best brightest, and ― let's be honest ― 25 00:01:06,720 --> 00:01:11,240 most affordable comedians to complete a series of skewwhiff tasks. 26 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,920 Tonight, we'll watch some of those tasks, hand out some points 27 00:01:14,920 --> 00:01:18,040 and figure out who deserves to win this ― 28 00:01:18,040 --> 00:01:24,960 the official Taskmaster trophy made from 100% pure zero karat gold. 29 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,120 (LAUGHTER) 30 00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:32,360 Competing for this extremely worthwhile prize is Bubbah! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 31 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,280 Dai Henwood! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 32 00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,880 Karen O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:40,640 Mel Bracewell! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:40,640 --> 00:01:43,920 And Ray O'Leary! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:51,240 And, as always, by my side is a man I can't live without, but will never live with me 36 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,920 despite his constant requests to move into my spare room. 37 00:01:54,920 --> 00:02:00,200 Ladies and gentlemen, it's Paul Williams. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 38 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:04,160 (PLAYS TINNY ELECTRIC PIANO) ♪ Where we sing instead of talking. 39 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:07,160 ♪ Where we dance instead of walking. 40 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:09,600 ♪ It's the musical 41 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:13,880 ♪ eeeee-pi-soooode. 42 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,680 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE, LAUGHTER) 43 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:20,080 Cool. We're gonna do a musical episode. 44 00:02:20,920 --> 00:02:24,960 (PLAYS TINNY ELECTRIC PIANO) ♪ I wasn't expecting you to say that. 45 00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:28,440 ♪ To be honest, I think that it might get... 46 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:31,480 ♪ kind of annoying... 47 00:02:31,480 --> 00:02:34,160 ♪ so maybe we should... 48 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:36,040 ♪ just― 49 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,440 SPEAKS: Just― Maybe we should just talk. (LAUGHTER) 50 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:41,720 Yeah. - Anyway, how are we kicking things off this evening. 51 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:45,120 As always, we are kicking off with a prize task, Jeremy. 52 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:51,200 So we've asked our contestants to bring in the sexiest inanimate object. 53 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:56,760 And whoever wins the episode will get to take home all five sexy objects. 54 00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,480 OK. let's go to Dai Henwood, first of all. 55 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:06,600 Well, I grew up in Wellington, and I used to walk along Lambton Quay, 56 00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:09,400 and there was one particular shop called Mischief, 57 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:14,400 and they had the sexiest mannequins... (LAUGHTER) 58 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:20,080 ...out of any shop, and mannequins really became a touchpoint for me at an early age. 59 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:26,520 I'm talking everything from a male seated mannequin to a dressmaker's doll... 60 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:28,520 (LAUGHTER) 61 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:33,400 I feel I've revealed a lot, so let's just have a look at what I have bought in. 62 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:35,400 (LAUGHTER) 63 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,840 You have literally objectified a woman. (LAUGHTER) 64 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,800 And also, just as someone else that grew up in Wellington, 65 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:45,840 Mischief was a shoe shop, so I'm not quite sure... (LAUGHTER) 66 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:47,640 ...what that mannequin would have been used for. 67 00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:52,520 Oh, this isn't one of the Mischief mannequins. The Mischief ones sort of had a bit moreof a... 68 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,200 (LAUGHTER) 69 00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:59,000 - Ray, what did you bring in? - Um, I bought in an hourglass. 70 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:02,760 (LAUGHTER) - OK. What's sexy about an hourglass? 71 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,920 I don't know why, but society, for some reason, uses hourglasses to measure two things― 72 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:10,280 time and human bodies. 73 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:16,200 And also, I think one of the most attractive qualities in a person is their ability to measure an hour. 74 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,680 - Karen, what did you bring in? - Yes? 75 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,640 Well, look, as someone who identifies as female, uses the she/her pronouns, 76 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:26,640 there's nothing sexier to me than housework (!) (LAUGHTER) 77 00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,000 And, so, you know, I've tried Chux. I've tried handy towels, whatever. 78 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:37,880 But when I stumbled across this, I was, like, my life is about to change, and I found this. 79 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,880 DAI: Oh, yeah! (LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 80 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,000 Yeah, everyone loves a Scrub Daddy! 81 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:44,720 But even if you look at the back of it, the innuendo that exists, 82 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:47,560 forget about it being a cleaning thing ― look at the bottom one. 83 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:51,520 'Deep cleaning. My eyes provide an ergonomic grip with just two fingers.' 84 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,800 I mean, if you forget that you're cleaning, that's a good time. 85 00:04:54,800 --> 00:05:00,120 And then, 'Versatile smile.' 'My smile cleans both sides of your utensils.' 86 00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:05,560 That sponge is giving that spoon a (BLEEP), and I think it's having a great time. 87 00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,640 - Bubbah. - So I couldn't afford a life-sized wax figure of Savage. 88 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:11,640 (LAUGHTER) 89 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,840 Instead I've brought in this. 90 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:20,360 So this here is a heater, 91 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:24,640 because I'm the type of person, if you get into my car, the heat is always up. 92 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:30,560 I've also got these photos which have the sexiest love story, and they're on the heater. 93 00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,560 - Oh, no. - So they're― Boy and girl meet. 94 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,840 And then they have a moment. 95 00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:37,800 Oh, God. 96 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,480 And then the sexy part happens. 97 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,160 Oh, God. (LAUGHTER, CHEERING) 98 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:48,200 I-I-I think I need a Scrub Daddy. (LAUGHTER) 99 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:50,720 Wait, that's me in the background! 100 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:52,720 Oh my gosh! It is! 101 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:57,880 - I don't remember that. - Yeah, you asked to watch. (LAUGHTER) 102 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,160 Mel, what did you bring in? 103 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:06,040 I brought in this... cos I think there's nothing sexier than someone who listens. 104 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:11,640 But also, it is an orifice, so you could have sex with it if you wanted to, 105 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:15,920 but I just thought it's a representation of a healthy relationship. 106 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,480 So if you met someone who was hearing-impaired, you would find them― 107 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,480 - (LAUGHS) Oh my God. - This is a good point. - ...physically repulsive. 108 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:26,840 - Yeah, that's right. - It's a metaphor! It's a metaphor! 109 00:06:26,840 --> 00:06:30,080 I've gotta say, there's not a lot that's sexy up there. 110 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,280 - Aw, come on! - Oh, pfft. - In terms of judgement, 111 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:34,880 I think one point for the Scrub Daddy. - Oh, what?!! 112 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,960 (AUDIENCE JEERS) This is a travesty. 113 00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:42,720 You think that's the sexiest object? (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 114 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:48,000 Two points for Mel's Ear. - OK, that's fine. But I'm shocked that I beat the Scrub Daddy. 115 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:53,520 Three points for Ray's hourglass. You see where we're getting here? OK? These things are getting sexier. 116 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:55,640 Four points for Dai's mannequin. 117 00:06:55,640 --> 00:07:03,800 And I've gotta say, that heater with the porno on it was quite hot. (LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 118 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:08,600 OK, Paul, let's dive into a proper task and see if they can keep up that amazing streak, eh? 119 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:11,120 We've all heard of abullin achina shop. 120 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:15,480 Well, here's a task that involves apulland achina shot. 121 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:19,880 (SPAGHETTI WESTERN RENDITION OF TASKMASTER THEME) 122 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,040 (WHIP CRACKS) 123 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,080 Where's Paul? 124 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,080 (MAILBOX CLANGS) 125 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:32,080 (LAUGHS) What is that? 126 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,120 What the― (BLEEP) 127 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,120 - I-I didn't hit you, did I? - Nah, you― You're a terrible shot. 128 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:41,240 - Pfft. Trust me, if I wanted to, I could have hit you. - OK. Do it again, then. 129 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:43,240 (ELASTIC TWANGS) 130 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,200 (LAUGHTER) - Let's just move on. 131 00:07:45,200 --> 00:07:52,240 (CLEARS THROAT) 'Fire ammunition from the slingshot and knock the fine china off the towers.' 132 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,040 'Each piece of ammunition must be different...' 133 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,560 '...and start with the same letter of the alphabet.' 134 00:07:57,560 --> 00:08:00,640 'You may only shoot each item once.' 135 00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:03,440 (GASPS) 'You have five minutes to retrieve your ammunition.' 136 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,680 'Your time starts now.' 137 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,480 Where's the― What's― What's the slingshot? 138 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,880 I have to make it? (LAUGHTER) 139 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:14,440 SOFTLY: Oh my gosh. (LAUGHS) 140 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:16,800 (LAUGHTER) 141 00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,840 Full of glitter. 142 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:20,480 That is amazing you did not see that giant slingshot. 143 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,840 I dunno, bro! I need to get my eyes checked. Oh my gosh. 144 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:28,880 Lovely, simple task. Hit the thing with the other thing. Let's see how this goes. 145 00:08:28,880 --> 00:08:31,880 First up, it's Bull's-eye Bubbah. 146 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:36,560 You've got 2 minutes and 20 seconds. - I know! Hey, shut up! I'm thinking! 147 00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:40,280 And it can't be the same thing? - Correct. Eight seconds. 148 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:44,000 (BLOWS WHISTLE) - (SHRIEKS) - Stop gathering. 149 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,120 What's your letter? - 'P'. 150 00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,720 - What is that? - This is polo. 151 00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,600 In Samoan, it starts with a 'P'. 152 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:52,200 I'll accept it. What are the other items? 153 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:54,400 Um, a pretend police gun. 154 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:55,920 OK. That's debateable. 155 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:58,600 Pinky toe offender. And a prop. 156 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,480 OK. And the skateboard? 157 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,480 A player's utensil. 158 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:07,080 (SQUEALS) That was really close. 159 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:12,760 OK, wait. Maybe my items are too small. 160 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,160 (GASPS) 161 00:09:18,920 --> 00:09:21,120 Oh! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 162 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:22,360 SLOW MOTION: Oh! 163 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,840 Does that count? - Yeah. - Yes! 164 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:26,840 And you. And you. - OK. 165 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,000 You really let it take you. 166 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:39,240 You stopped yourself! - I'm quite heavy for that slingshot. 167 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:41,240 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 168 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:46,080 So you went into the shed, and you seemed like you were being incredibly selective, 169 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:50,200 and then you came out with just a random collection of crap. (LAUGHTER) 170 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:54,720 Well, cos I forgot about the 'P' thing, but I reckon I did pretty good naming that stuff. 171 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:58,000 - Yeah. - Yeah, you did, eh. - No, you did. 172 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,280 (APPLAUSE) 173 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:05,960 When I was a kid, I loved playing Tony Hawk's Pro Player Utensil 2 (!) (LAUGHTER) 174 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,560 All right, fire some more slingshot action my way will you, Paul? 175 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:11,760 Up next, it's Dai and Ray. 176 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,640 Um... Um... 177 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:18,840 Stick, spaghetti, salt, stone, silverware. 178 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:20,600 (CIRCUS ORGAN MUSIC) 179 00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:23,280 Sunflower could be useful, eh? 180 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:25,280 Eight seconds. Um... 181 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:28,600 Who would've thought I'd find a sipping vessel in there! 182 00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:33,480 - Um, my letter is 'S'. - So what's that? - Um, a steam device. 183 00:10:33,480 --> 00:10:35,880 I've got a feeling these are all the same item. 184 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,640 - Stakes. - Yeah, stakes. 185 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:40,040 So, what― I'll probably fire these as one? 186 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,960 - And what's that? - Oh, scholastics. 187 00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,640 - Scholastics? - Yeah. Scholarly pursuits. 188 00:10:44,640 --> 00:10:48,880 I'll try hit the thing at the very far end with the spices. 189 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,880 All right. (YELPS) 190 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:52,600 Oh no. 191 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,800 Come on, sipping vessel. 192 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:56,800 That went better than expected. 193 00:10:56,800 --> 00:11:01,200 - So what is this object? - This is a statue's arm. - OK. 194 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,840 (SLINGSHOT FLOPS) 195 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,040 (LAUGHTER) 196 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,840 (BLOCK CLATTERS) 197 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:12,840 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 198 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:15,400 OK, we've got a teapot. 199 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,760 - The binoculars? - The seeing device. 200 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,800 'Seeing device.' Sorry. 201 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:23,600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 202 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,400 How about that? 203 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:28,400 (STRAINED YELL) 204 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:31,760 That really hurt, and it didn't go very far. 205 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:34,280 So are all those stones different objects? 206 00:11:34,280 --> 00:11:39,200 Some are skipping stones. Stones for rolling. Some are stones for the driveway. 207 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,000 So that― So I― So I can use them all. 208 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:44,760 (BLOCKS CLATTER) 209 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:49,840 Oh, that was excellent. Was that two in a row? 210 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,560 (BLOCKS CLATTER) - Whoo! (LAUGHS ECSTATICALLY) 211 00:11:53,560 --> 00:11:55,280 I've named this stone Simon. 212 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:57,000 Most people call that Simon? 213 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,200 Yeah, I think― Absolutely. 214 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:01,400 Come on, Simon. 215 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:03,720 Oh, holy moly! Look at that. It's three down. 216 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:05,920 This is my last item. 217 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,840 Better than I thought. 218 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:12,160 If we get into― Like, if someone attacks us? - Mm-hm. 219 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,120 - Pegs and stones. - Are they called pegs? 220 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:18,320 They're― No, why would you call them pegs? They're stakes, man. 221 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,320 (APPLAUSE) Great work, Ray. - Yeah. 222 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:27,840 Two more dubious names going on there. 'Scholarly pursuits. Stones for driveway.' 223 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:32,120 Yeah, I remember that I called one Sylvester St-stone. 224 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,560 And what happened with Dai and the pegs? What was he― 225 00:12:34,560 --> 00:12:37,280 You thought they were stakes, but then you ended up calling them pegs. 226 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:39,360 Oh, yeah, that was a rookie mistake. 227 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:40,520 I don't use a lot of them, 228 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:45,720 but I should have actually taken Ray's advice and had them as different type of stakes. 229 00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,880 Like, a silver stake, a stake-stake. 230 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,040 (LAUGHTER) 231 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,920 Right. If you at home are looking for some target practice, 232 00:12:53,920 --> 00:13:02,120 maybe go and grab your slingshots and see if you can hit these ads, cos we'll be back very, verysoon. 233 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,920 (TASKMASTER THEME) 234 00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:10,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 235 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:15,600 Welcome back to Taskmaster. What's been happening, Paul? 236 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,520 Our five contestants are attempting to hit targets with a giant slingshot 237 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,560 and whatever ammunition they can find. 238 00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:24,040 They only have 5 minutes to find their ammunition, 239 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,320 and the ammunition must start with the same letter. 240 00:13:27,320 --> 00:13:33,880 - Who have we got left on this one? - Our final two sharpshooters ― it's Karen and Mel. 241 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:35,240 My letter is 'B.' 242 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:39,240 So, I've got a beacon, blower, a bat, a ball, some beads... 243 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,440 Banana? Bucket. Bottle. 244 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:44,120 Ball. Basketball ― different kind of ball. 245 00:13:44,120 --> 00:13:48,520 Right, I'm just gonna start now with an obvious one. 246 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,400 Oh, that was close! 247 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:54,000 - Can I move the slingshot? - It's quite big. 248 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:58,080 Just gonna move a little bit closer just to make it a little bit easier. 249 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,080 (BASKET CLATTERS) 250 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:07,760 It was close. 251 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:10,400 Oh! No. 252 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,520 Can't miss here. 253 00:14:13,560 --> 00:14:14,640 (LAUGHTER) 254 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:16,960 I don't like this one. 255 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,640 Thank you! 256 00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:23,800 Fine ammunition from the slingshot andknock the fine China off the towers. 257 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,440 They don't have to be together. 258 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:27,720 I feel like Mahe Drysdale. 259 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,280 (FIERCE CHORAL MUSIC) 260 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:35,280 (BUCKET CLANGS) 261 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,280 (LAUGHTER) 262 00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:40,920 - You're gonna fling your bib? - I've got a bib. 263 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,000 Why did that go better than I thought? 264 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,400 (LAUGHTER) 265 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:51,520 (CHINA CLINKS) 266 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:55,840 And for my final act, I will be firing a Bracewell. 267 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:58,760 (MAKES WHOOSHING EFFECT) 268 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,280 (EXTENDED YELP) 269 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:04,040 I didn't fall! 270 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:07,520 - How many did you get? - Five. Probably four and a half. 271 00:15:07,520 --> 00:15:11,240 - So what did you fire in that last shot? - I fired a Bracewell. 272 00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:15,520 - Is that what you're called? - I am a Bracewell. Yes. 273 00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:18,840 Ah, yes. 274 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:23,600 Very clever. I feel like we have a couple of loopholers here. 275 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:27,080 You guys are idiots, clearly. (LAUGHTER) 276 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,240 That must have been frustrating to watch. 277 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:31,080 It certainly was. 278 00:15:31,080 --> 00:15:32,680 So what are the scores there, Paul? 279 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:36,880 So Bubbah hit one, Ray and Dai both hit three, 280 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,280 and then if you're accepting it, Karen and Mel both at five. 281 00:15:40,280 --> 00:15:41,680 Yeah, I am accepting it. 282 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:47,120 Also, I felt like our objects, their crucial name, we stuck to it. 283 00:15:47,120 --> 00:15:49,120 - Yeah. We chose things that actually started with that letter. - Yeah. 284 00:15:49,120 --> 00:15:52,320 OK― You've won. You don't need to― (LAUGHTER) 285 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:54,760 Sorry, I was just― I was just too excited. 286 00:15:54,760 --> 00:16:00,120 So that means that it's gonna be one point for Bubbah, three points for Ray and Dai, 287 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:04,560 and Mel and Karen can get 5 points. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 288 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,200 And it's about this point in the episode 289 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,800 that I start wondering about what our scores are looking like, Paul? 290 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,960 Currently in first equal, both on 7, it's Dai and Mel. 291 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 292 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,920 All right. Let's plough on through to our next one, shall we, Paul? 293 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:24,080 (PLAYS NEW TINNY PIANO TUNE) 294 00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:30,800 QUAVERING FALSETTO: ♪ It's for a musical task. 295 00:16:30,800 --> 00:16:35,760 (LAUGHTER) 296 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,320 (MACABRE MUSIC) 297 00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:47,280 Hello. 298 00:16:47,280 --> 00:16:49,000 - Hello, Bubbah. - Hello. 299 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,160 Hello, Paul. 300 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,600 - Great to see you. - Likewise. 301 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:56,760 - Which one shall I open, do you think? - Fully up to you. 302 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,760 This one's got more words. (LAUGHTER) 303 00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:01,720 (SEAL RIPS) 304 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,080 'Write and perform a duet with yourself.' 305 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:06,480 'Most romantic duet wins.' 306 00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,480 'You have one hour.' 307 00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:11,360 Wow. I can do an whole album in an hour. 308 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:13,360 What's this one say? 309 00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:15,760 It says the same thing. - Mm-hm. 310 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,240 'Your time starts... (TUTS) 311 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:19,680 '...now.' 312 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,960 Have you ever written a song before? 313 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,120 No. 314 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,120 I don't have a musical bone in my body. 315 00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,280 (SINGS NOTE, MATCHES NOTE ON MELODICA) 316 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,280 (PLAYS DESCENDING NOTES) 317 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,560 (SINGS THROUGH MELODICA) 318 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,360 That was, 'Celebrate good times. Come on.' 319 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:40,000 You have to pretend like some of it's me and some of it's someone else. 320 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,920 But you should be able to tell who the someone else is. 321 00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:45,240 This green wig is DJ Gush Steady. 322 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:50,120 (IMITATES AIR HORN) Gush Steady in the house! Bomba blast! 323 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,120 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 324 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:55,400 What a beautiful task for episode nine. Just lovely. 325 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:59,000 Let's hear some comedians serenading themselves, shall we, Paul? 326 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:04,400 Up first, a DJ set from DJ Gush Steady himself. It's Dai Henwood. 327 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:14,320 Welcome to the massive! Welcome to everyone who's carrying with them both privilege and underprivilege. 328 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:18,920 We've all got gumboots, but what do you fill yours with? 329 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,920 (SCRUFFY TECHNO BEAT) 330 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:31,360 ♪ I'm just a man with 17 pants. 331 00:18:31,360 --> 00:18:35,240 ♪ And the way that you look makes me wanna dance. 332 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:39,040 HIGHER VOICE: # I'm just a girl with jeans and a fly. 333 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:43,000 ♪ You say, 'Come over here,' and it makes me wanna cry. 334 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:46,520 ♪ Well, come a little closer, cos I can be your man. 335 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:50,520 ♪ I will glaze your face and body like you're a Christmas ham. 336 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:52,520 (TECHNO BREAK) 337 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:58,120 ♪ We don't need to cuddle I turn sheets into puddles. 338 00:18:58,120 --> 00:19:02,000 ♪ It is all about the love and praise from above. 339 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,880 ♪ Then let's get married. 340 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,600 ♪ We won't fight and bicker. 341 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:10,160 ♪ When the kids have gone to bed, I'll ram-raid your knickers. ♪ 342 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:11,080 (LAUGHTER, GROANS) 343 00:19:11,080 --> 00:19:14,160 (REPEATEDLY PLAYS 'COME ON' SAMPLE) 344 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,960 (PLAYS DISCORDANT FLOURISH) 345 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:22,720 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - BUBBAH: Very good! 346 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,360 (LAUGHS) 347 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:31,160 'When the kids have gone to bed... (LAUGHTER) '...I'll ram raid your knickers.' 348 00:19:31,600 --> 00:19:33,600 Yeah. (LAUGHS) 349 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:36,760 Yeah, but it was about― (LAUGHTER) 350 00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:42,080 But it was about, you know, you might go to a dance in a Rotary Hall or a Lions Hall, 351 00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:45,360 and there's people from a lot of different backgrounds, 352 00:19:45,360 --> 00:19:51,720 and then there's usually a pretty left-field DJ with a serious substance abuse problem, 353 00:19:51,720 --> 00:19:54,000 and he brings you together. 354 00:19:54,520 --> 00:19:57,480 What a beautiful message that is. (LAUGHTER) 355 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:58,840 Who's up next, Paul? 356 00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:03,840 Grab your tissues, because it's time for a break-up ballad from Bubbah. 357 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,560 (RAIN PATTERS) 358 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,560 (PIANO BALLAD) 359 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,760 I'm here to pick up my stuff. 360 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:17,720 What'd you leave behind? 361 00:20:17,880 --> 00:20:19,960 Um, a few bobby pins, and― 362 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:21,880 Don't say it. 363 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:23,880 (SIGHS) 364 00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:25,960 ...my heart. (LAUGHTER) 365 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,920 ♪ Cos I've been sleeping on your side of the bed since you left. 366 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,560 ♪ We're not good together. We're like Jack and Bess. 367 00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:38,800 ♪ And this love is so strong that it's so scary. 368 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,480 ♪ But I'll never leave you again. 369 00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:43,360 ♪ You're not a scooter at the dairy. 370 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,320 ♪ That's so romantic. 371 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,120 ♪ And you're enchanted. 372 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:52,240 ♪ And that's all I need to know ― is the love that you show. 373 00:20:52,240 --> 00:20:55,760 ♪ Cos we say less, but you pay more attention. 374 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,320 ♪ So get back in my arms. 375 00:20:58,880 --> 00:20:59,480 ♪ Come... 376 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,440 ♪ ...get... 377 00:21:00,440 --> 00:21:02,040 ♪ ...this... 378 00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,320 TOGETHER: # ...affection. 379 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,320 Get in here, girl. 380 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,040 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 381 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,800 - Aw! - (CHUCKLES) 382 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,840 - That was genuinely moving. - Thank you. 383 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:29,200 What happened after that? 384 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:32,720 They (BLEEP)ed. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 385 00:21:33,840 --> 00:21:37,720 - Two very distinct characters. Very well played. - Thank you, Taskmaster. 386 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:39,600 So good. 387 00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:44,680 More one-hit wonders coming up, but first, here's some ads. 388 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,680 (TASKMASTER THEME) 389 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,080 (TASKMASTER THEME) 390 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:58,280 Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 391 00:21:58,280 --> 00:21:59,400 Paul, where are we at? 392 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:04,440 We've been tapping our toes to Gush Steady's banger and Bubbah's heart-breaking ballad. 393 00:22:04,440 --> 00:22:12,040 Next in the playlist, dueting with Ray O'Leary, it's Karen O'Leary guitar-ing so clearly. 394 00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:15,240 (PLAYS MELANCHOLY GUITAR CHORDS) 395 00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:21,000 HARMONISED VOCALS: # Karen. 396 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:24,200 ♪ Karen O'Leary. 397 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:30,840 ♪ You really make my everything sing. 398 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:37,080 ♪ You are the wind beneath my wing. 399 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:43,800 ♪ Well, Ray, I love you so much too. 400 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:50,320 ♪ And I do love your size 13 shoe. 401 00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,800 ♪ Ray... 402 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:57,000 ♪ and Karen O'Leary. 403 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:03,720 ♪ A love so big it's almost scary. 404 00:23:06,360 --> 00:23:10,200 ♪ A love that will never... 405 00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,320 ♪ end. 406 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,200 (PLUCKS OUT BITTERSWEET RESOLVING CHORD) 407 00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,200 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 408 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:22,560 - DAI: Emotion. - Emotional. Yeah. 409 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,440 OK, So you fell in love with a shoe? 410 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,960 - With Ray! - I fell in love with Ray. 411 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,320 - Who was Ray? Where was Ray? - So, I was singing a duet to myself, 412 00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:34,920 but one of my selves was playing another character, which was Ray O'Leary. 413 00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:37,360 Hilariously, we've got the same surname. (LAUGHTER) 414 00:23:37,360 --> 00:23:41,920 And I― Very impressive use your teeth to undo Ray's shoelace. (LAUGHTER) 415 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,360 - I can do it again now, if you'd like? - I'd love you to. 416 00:23:44,360 --> 00:23:46,360 Oh, no― (LAUGHTER) 417 00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:48,040 (RAY GIGGLES) 418 00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,040 (RAY AND MEL YELP) 419 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,880 - Oh my God! - (RAY WHIMPERS) 420 00:23:53,120 --> 00:23:55,600 - Hold me, Melanie. - (LAUGHS) 421 00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,800 I dunno if you just heard Ray say, 'Hold me, Melanie.' (LAUGHTER) 422 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,800 Who's next, Paul? 423 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,280 (LAUGHTER) 424 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:11,440 It's Archipelago's In The Creek ― a duet by Ray O'Leary and Ray O'Leary. 425 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:16,720 (TWEE FOLK MUSIC PLAYS) - # Ray, I love your curly hair. 426 00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:21,240 ♪ And I like your glasses you're wearing over there. 427 00:24:21,240 --> 00:24:25,280 ♪ Ray, you make my heart flutter. 428 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:29,840 ♪ And my love for you is as smooth as your favourite peanut butter. 429 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:34,880 ♪ Ray, I love you even though you're from Wanganui, 430 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,960 ♪ and the river is so brown there, it looks a little poo-y. 431 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:44,520 ♪ We can spend the days together, going out and playing bowls, 432 00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:49,680 ♪ and I'll take all your money when you die of high cholesterol. 433 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:52,320 ♪ Mm. (LIQUID HIP HOP BEAT PLAYS) ♪ Uh-uh. Uh-huh-huh. 434 00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:54,720 ♪ Yeah. Coming in with a rap verse. 435 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,640 ♪ Time to back up the rap verse. 436 00:24:56,640 --> 00:24:59,520 ♪ Yeah. Archipelago's in the crib. 437 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:01,480 ♪ That's who we are, just a couple of freaks... 438 00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,640 Archipelago! 439 00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,000 ♪ ...who can't drive a car. 440 00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:06,400 ♪ Get an Uber with me back to my flat. 441 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:07,320 ♪ Yeah, my boys! 442 00:25:07,320 --> 00:25:10,920 ♪ Split the rent together or we can move in with my mother. 443 00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:11,840 ♪ His mother... 444 00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:12,920 ♪ is my mother. 445 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,000 ♪ Word to your mother. 446 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,000 ♪ I'm coming out for all your mothers. 447 00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:18,000 (WHISTLE BLOWS) 448 00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,880 You happy with that? 449 00:25:22,320 --> 00:25:24,800 I think I nailed the rapping. 450 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:28,320 - OK. - Yeah, I felt like a white Eminem. 451 00:25:28,320 --> 00:25:30,320 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 452 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:40,320 You took on quite a lot, there, Ray. You started with what I think was folk, maybe spoken word, 453 00:25:40,320 --> 00:25:41,920 and then by the end, you were doing hip hop. 454 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,000 I can explain. (LAUGHS) 455 00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:48,840 Well, originally I wrote a song to the tune of Islands In The Stream, 456 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:55,160 and then they came in and said, 'We can't afford to pay $10,000 for you to sing,' and I hadto pivot. 457 00:25:55,160 --> 00:25:59,600 So the two different Ray characters― Just, one had glasses and one didn't? 458 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,560 Yeah, that's the two sides of my personality, 459 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:07,040 is one who can see well and one who's, sort of, blind as a bat. (LAUGHTER) 460 00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:09,600 So, who's closing out our set tonight, Paul? 461 00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:13,800 Who else, Jeremy, but a couple of Mel Bracewells. 462 00:26:14,040 --> 00:26:16,840 (PLAYS DISCORDANT MELODICA CHORDS) ♪ I like your hair. 463 00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:19,920 ♪ And I like your eyes too. 464 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,440 ♪ You make me smile. 465 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,520 ♪ And you know that that's true. 466 00:26:25,520 --> 00:26:30,400 SLIGHTLY DEEPER VOICE: # I've got to say that I love you too. 467 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:36,680 ♪ Here's all the things that I love about you. 468 00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:39,520 (MUSIC SPEEDS UP) ♪ Oh, I love that you're fit. I love your tits. 469 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,120 ♪ I love that you don't flinch when I send a dick pic. 470 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:44,720 ♪ Personality is nice, but your arse is nicer. 471 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,120 ♪ I'm going to inject you like the Pfizer. 472 00:26:47,120 --> 00:26:49,400 ♪ Come on. girl, Let's get to bed. 473 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:55,000 ♪ I'm so glad that you aren't de-e-ead. 474 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,600 TOGETHER: Love! 475 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,480 ♪ We love each other. 476 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,240 ♪ Love one another. 477 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:05,400 ♪ I don't like your brother. 478 00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,200 ♪ Love. 479 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,200 ♪ You can feel stuck. 480 00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,640 ♪ Cos on one hand, I love you the way the way that you is. 481 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:17,640 ♪ The other hand, I just wanna cover you in― (MUSIC STOPS) 482 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,720 ♪ ...a kiss. (MUSIC RESUMES) 483 00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:22,840 ♪ Love. 484 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:25,760 (APPLAUSE) 485 00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:31,880 Beautiful. I mean, who knew that you had such a vulgar misogynist in you? 486 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,720 The guy with the hat was brutal. 487 00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:38,600 Yeah man, it lives deep within me. (LAUGHTER) 488 00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,760 - Look, the harmonies were really good. - Thank you. 489 00:27:41,760 --> 00:27:44,720 And seeing the two― I thought you did a great job, to be honest. 490 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:47,440 In fact, I thought everybody did a great job. 491 00:27:47,440 --> 00:27:49,720 Apart from Ray. (LAUGHTER) 492 00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,800 10 points for effort, Ray, but I think one point for execution. 493 00:27:56,800 --> 00:27:58,760 - Wait, so 11 points? - (MEL LAUGHS) 494 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:00,720 Sorry, no. (LAUGHTER) 495 00:28:00,720 --> 00:28:02,920 No. One point for Ray. - OK. 496 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,680 Two points for Karen. 497 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,040 Three points for Mel. 498 00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:10,000 I would have given you four points, but that disgusting man was very sexist, 499 00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,560 so I'm only gonna give you three. - (CHUCKLES) Fair enough. 500 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:16,440 Four points for Dai, with the fantastic Christian message, and― (LAUGHTER) 501 00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:21,600 I've gotta give Bubbah five for that, cos that was quite something. (CHEERS, APPLAUSE) 502 00:28:21,600 --> 00:28:23,120 Well done. 503 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:27,160 All right, I believe it's time for another task, Paul. - You are 100% correct, Jeremy. 504 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:30,040 It's time to do some multitasking. 505 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:32,040 (MACABRE MUSIC) 506 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:39,160 Paul! 507 00:28:39,160 --> 00:28:40,800 - Hello, Mel. - Hello. 508 00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:41,840 Hello, Paul. 509 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:43,280 - Hello, Bubbah. - 'Sup. 510 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:44,280 Hello, Karen. 511 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,080 - How have you been? - Not well. 512 00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:49,680 Oh, well. Not really my issue. Where's the― 513 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:53,000 - Where's my little paper thing? - It's on the desk. 514 00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:54,880 Oh! 515 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,880 There's a little task under there. 516 00:28:57,880 --> 00:28:59,960 Found it straight away. 517 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,120 - What are you looking for? - I don't know. 518 00:29:03,120 --> 00:29:06,680 - Why are you so suspicious? - It's that kind of show. I'm very paranoid. 519 00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:08,720 Every time I come into this room, 520 00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:12,360 I feel like I'm about to be given a task that no one else is going to do. 521 00:29:12,360 --> 00:29:14,880 - I wouldn't let that happen. - I think you would. 522 00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:19,240 See, you're laughing now. Like, is this one? Is someone else opening this right now? 523 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:21,240 Not right now. 524 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,000 UNDER BREATH: OK... 525 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:26,480 'Find and complete the most tasks.' 526 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,320 'Most completed tasks wins.' 527 00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,480 'You must complete a task...' 528 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,160 '...before opening a new one.' 529 00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:34,960 'You have 10 minutes.' 530 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:37,040 'Your time starts...' 531 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:39,960 '...now.' 532 00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:43,840 - What would you call this? It's a multitask, really, isn't it? - Yeah. 533 00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:47,160 Very simple. Find as many tasks as possible and complete them, 534 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,840 and you can't move on until you've completed the task you've found. 535 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:54,640 I can't wait to see what little tasks are waiting out there for our comedians. 536 00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:57,440 Whose multitasking are we gonna see first, Paul? 537 00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:05,240 He loves doing tasks so much that he agreed to be on Taskmaster New Zealand. It's Dai Henwood. 538 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:12,280 'Punch something, but don't hurt yourself.' 539 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,280 (GRUNTS) (LAUGHTER) 540 00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:15,760 Disaster. 541 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:17,200 Behind the K. 542 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,160 'Poke your tongue out.' 543 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:20,320 (LAUGHTER) 544 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:21,720 (DRAWERS RATTLE) 545 00:30:21,720 --> 00:30:24,200 'Remove an item of clothing.' 546 00:30:25,360 --> 00:30:26,200 Gidday, fish. 547 00:30:26,200 --> 00:30:29,640 'Eat something while sitting at the desk.' 548 00:30:29,640 --> 00:30:32,560 Gasping for a jelly baby. Just had one. 549 00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,200 We'll look under the duck. 550 00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:37,480 'Go to the lake and bring back some water.' 551 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:40,720 This was a really bad one. What's the time like? 552 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,720 You've got six minutes and eight seconds. 553 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,000 (RUNNING FOOTSTEPS CLOMP) 554 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,960 Oh, how do you get to the (BLEEP)ing lake? 555 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:51,000 (GRUNTS) 556 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,000 (WATER SPLOSHES) 557 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,880 (PANTS) The latch on your gate, mate... 558 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,440 Shambles. 559 00:30:58,440 --> 00:31:00,920 'Dance for 10 seconds while repeating the phrase...' 560 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,120 (SINGS) # Look at me dance. 561 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,240 ♪ Look at me dance. 562 00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:05,920 GROWLS: Look 563 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:06,600 at 564 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:07,080 me 565 00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:08,280 dance. 566 00:31:08,280 --> 00:31:10,000 ♪ Look at me dance. 567 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:11,480 ♪ Look at me dance. 568 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,480 ♪ Look at me dance. Now I'm finished, and I'm reading― 569 00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:18,680 NORMAL VOICE: 'Whistle.' (WHISTLES TUNELESSLY) 570 00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:21,680 12 seconds. 571 00:31:21,680 --> 00:31:23,680 PANTS: Six, five... 572 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,880 four, three... 573 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,880 two, one. 574 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:29,440 (WHISTLE TRILLS) 575 00:31:29,440 --> 00:31:32,720 That was great fun, man. - OK. - Thank you very much, Paul. 576 00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:34,520 - Thank you, Dai. - Can I take this now? 577 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:35,920 Huh. 578 00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,120 There's a task stuck to it. 579 00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,000 We'll never know what that was. 580 00:31:42,040 --> 00:31:44,040 Ever. 581 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,680 (LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 582 00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:52,600 So, you did pretty well, Dai. You probably think a tactical error heading down to the lake. 583 00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:56,000 But I gotta― I got some steps in going to the lake. (LAUGHTER) 584 00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,200 The key― I think my thing was when you plan to run to a lake, 585 00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:03,200 find out where the lake is first. (LAUGHTER) 586 00:32:03,200 --> 00:32:10,200 Establish a path. Don't just run to a fully gated car park, assuming that is the lake. 587 00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:14,680 - How did Dai go? - So, 13 is the score to beat. - OK. 13. 588 00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:17,240 Now it's time for a task for you at home. 589 00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:22,520 Watch these ads and buy one of every product you see. (LAUGHTER) 590 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,600 More Taskmaster after this. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 591 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,600 (TASKMASTER THEME) 592 00:32:31,800 --> 00:32:33,800 (TASKMASTER THEME) 593 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:37,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 594 00:32:37,480 --> 00:32:41,080 Welcome back to Taskmaster, the show that pits comedians against each other 595 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:46,040 in the hopes of winning sexy prizes, like an hourglass and a sponge. 596 00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:47,920 Paul, could you give us a recap, please? 597 00:32:47,920 --> 00:32:53,600 Our contestants are currently completing a task where they must complete the most tasks. 598 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,600 Up next, it's Bubbah, Karen and Mel. 599 00:32:59,640 --> 00:33:03,040 'Passionately kiss an imaginary person.' 600 00:33:03,040 --> 00:33:05,040 (LAUGHTER) 601 00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,240 Mwah! 602 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:10,120 'Do a cartwheel, no matter how pathetic.' 603 00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,120 MUTTERS: Shit. (YELPS) 604 00:33:11,120 --> 00:33:13,120 (FLOOR SQUEAKS) 605 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,240 'Say "carrot" 10 times.' Carrot. Carrot. 606 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:16,600 Carrot. Carrot. Carrot. Carrot. 607 00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:18,320 Carrot. Carrot. Carrot. Carrot. 608 00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,760 Carrot. (LAUGHTER) Carrot? 609 00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:22,360 Peek-a-boo! 610 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,560 'Donate to charity.' 611 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:27,240 'Yell something you like about yourself.' 612 00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:29,360 ECHOES: I'm gay! (LAUGHTER) 613 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:31,400 'Thank you for your support.' There you go. 614 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:35,000 'Eat something while sitting at the desk.' 615 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000 - 'ISIS?' - (LAUGHS) 616 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,960 I don't know if I'd call that a charity. 617 00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:41,680 'Whistle.' 618 00:33:41,680 --> 00:33:42,720 (SHORT WHISTLES) 619 00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:44,120 (EXTENDED WHISTLE) 620 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,560 (WHISTLES 'THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY THEME') 621 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,560 Under the duck. 622 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:50,320 This is weird. (CHUCKLES) 'Give Paul a lap dance.' 623 00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,360 This is actually really weird. - It doesn't say that. 624 00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:54,600 (CHUCKLES) OK, it just says remove an item of clothing. 625 00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:58,160 I bet you love whistling as well. I bet this is all a freakin', little ruse. 626 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:02,480 You're, like, 'Ooh. I love it when girls whistle and eat a lolly at a desk.' 627 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:03,920 'Whistle for seven seconds.' 628 00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:05,640 (WHISTLES TUNE) 629 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,640 (WHISTLES SIREN) 630 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:08,840 I love whistling. 631 00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:10,960 'Remove an (LAUGHS) item of clothing.' 632 00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:13,200 This is a rude show! - I'll look away. 633 00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,200 This is some white people shit, Paul! 634 00:34:15,200 --> 00:34:17,200 Ooh, hello. 635 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,720 Oh, I can't burp! I can't fake burp! 636 00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:21,240 - What did it say? - It said 'burp'! 637 00:34:21,240 --> 00:34:23,920 'Crawl under the desk three times.' 638 00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:25,920 Oh, shit! 639 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:29,560 (BURPS AUTHENTICALLY, LAUGHS) Yes! (CLAPS) OK! All right! 640 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,760 (GRUNTS) This is a crawl. 641 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:33,560 Peek-a-boo! 642 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,360 '18-second puppet show with two objects.' 643 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:38,080 KAREN SQUAWKS: 'Yeah, gidday, mate. How's it going?' 644 00:34:38,080 --> 00:34:41,720 DEEPER VOICE: 'Well, you know, just, um, having a bit of a shit of a day, to be fair. 645 00:34:41,720 --> 00:34:44,040 'Um― I've been hanging out with this guy, Paul, all day, and it's just― 646 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,160 'You know, it's really grinding my gears.' 647 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,600 - OK, that's enough. That's enough. - OK, good. 648 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:50,120 Have you got one? 649 00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,120 (TRILLS) Nope. 650 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,320 'Remove an item of clothing.' 651 00:34:54,320 --> 00:34:57,280 (SNIFFS) Saucy. 652 00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:58,600 There we go. 653 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:00,600 'Gargle some water while sitting at the desk.' 654 00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:02,520 I don't― I don't have― 655 00:35:02,520 --> 00:35:04,360 Can I put it back on now that I've removed it? 656 00:35:04,360 --> 00:35:07,840 - Yeah, probably. Sorry about that last one. - That's OK. 657 00:35:07,840 --> 00:35:11,160 Whatever you're into, Paul. - I like whistling. 658 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,160 (EXTENDED GARGLE) 659 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:16,080 (SPLASH!) - Ugh. 660 00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:20,040 - Oh. OK, I didn't expect you to spit it― - Yeah, same. 661 00:35:20,040 --> 00:35:22,480 'Do the last task you did before this one again.' 662 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:27,880 Take my shorts off again? All right. What are the chances of that? 663 00:35:28,080 --> 00:35:29,960 (WHISTLE TRILLS) - Nailed it! 664 00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:31,960 (WHISTLE TRILLS) 665 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:35,160 Again! Another whistle. Of course, you freak. 666 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:39,560 I'm gonna put my clothes back on now. Is that OK? - Yes. 667 00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:42,680 (LAUGHTER, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 668 00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,280 If it's your first time watching Taskmaster, 669 00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:51,640 not all the tasks involve multiple women taking off multiple pieces of clothing 670 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:56,680 while Paul Williams watches from a chaise lounge. 671 00:35:56,680 --> 00:36:02,720 I like the fact, Bubbah, that you thought that taking off your clothes was filthy white person... 672 00:36:02,720 --> 00:36:04,640 (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 673 00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:08,760 I dunno. I blame youse for everything. (LAUGHTER) 674 00:36:08,760 --> 00:36:11,280 It's probably fair, to be honest. 675 00:36:11,280 --> 00:36:15,880 Mel, how much money did you donate to ISIS? (LAUGHTER) 676 00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:20,040 I didn't― I donated $50 to the Women's Refuge. 677 00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:23,440 (APPLAUSE) Yeah, it's not that much, but... 678 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,440 - How did everyone go, Paul? - So the score to beat was 13. 679 00:36:27,440 --> 00:36:29,640 Karen Completed 11 tasks. 680 00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,320 Mel ― 12. - Ooh. 681 00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:36,480 - Bubbah ― 16. - Ooh. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 682 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:44,080 - Who's up next, then? - Up next, our final multitasker, it's Ray O'Leary. 683 00:36:44,720 --> 00:36:47,320 'Remove an item of clothing.' 684 00:36:47,960 --> 00:36:49,400 Oh, there's one. 685 00:36:49,400 --> 00:36:51,400 'Do five yoga poses.' 686 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,640 Is that downward dog? - I'll accept it. 687 00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,320 Can I just do that five times? 688 00:36:55,320 --> 00:36:58,920 Cos it didn't say do five different yoga poses, did it? 689 00:36:58,920 --> 00:37:01,640 I feel like I'm praying to Mecca. 690 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:03,760 Are you sitting on one? Do you have one in your pockets? 691 00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,840 Do you have one in your... 692 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:08,240 Why do you have this? How many do you have? 693 00:37:08,240 --> 00:37:09,680 Do you have all the tasks here? 694 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,160 (BUBBAH GASPS) - Aw! 695 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,440 You look like a task suicide bomber. 696 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:14,920 'Reach up high.' 697 00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:16,920 'Bend down low.' 698 00:37:16,920 --> 00:37:17,760 'Wave.' 699 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:19,440 'Find something that's your favourite colour.' 700 00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:21,600 Red's my favourite colour. This is red. 701 00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:23,000 'Poke your tongue out.' 702 00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:24,000 'Sniff your elbow.' 703 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,720 (SNIFFS) Oh, my Lord. 704 00:37:25,720 --> 00:37:28,400 'Kiss three walls.' Ugh, gross. 705 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,080 Paul, could you please take off your jacket, please? 706 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,080 'Caress a plant.' 707 00:37:34,480 --> 00:37:36,680 ♪ La-da-da-di, la-da-da. 708 00:37:37,600 --> 00:37:40,720 'Pretend to be electrocuted for seven seconds.' 709 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:42,720 (JABBERS) 710 00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:47,560 'Passionately sing the colour of your hair.' 711 00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:49,800 SINGS IN RICH BARITONE: # Brown! 712 00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,040 'Pat yourself on the back.' 713 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:53,320 'Pat your head and rub your tummy.' - PAUL: 12 seconds. 714 00:37:53,320 --> 00:37:54,600 'Clap.' (CLAPS) 715 00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,600 'Shake hands with Paul.' 716 00:37:56,600 --> 00:37:57,480 'Jump.' 717 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:59,480 'Sit down.' 718 00:37:59,480 --> 00:38:01,480 (WHISTLE TRILLS) - OK. 719 00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:03,880 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 720 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:07,120 - Was there a taskinmy clothes? - I'm not sure. 721 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:10,200 Well, there's a task underneath... 722 00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:19,920 'Accurately perform a Shakespeare soliloquy of your choice.' I'm glad I didn't find that one. 723 00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,920 (APPLAUSE) 724 00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:26,000 - You found the motherlode there. - Yes. 725 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,680 - You were like a kid in a candy shop. - Yes, I felt like a truffle pig. 726 00:38:29,680 --> 00:38:31,680 (LAUGHTER) 727 00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:38,160 - How did Ray go? - So the score to beat was 16. Ray found 32. 728 00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,160 (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 729 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:42,160 (APPLAUSE) 730 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,440 All right, so what were the final scores there, then, Paul? 731 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:49,200 That means 1 point for Karen, 2 points for Mel, 3 points for Dai, 732 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:53,440 4 points for Bubbah, and 5 points for Ray. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 733 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:55,080 Well done. 734 00:38:55,080 --> 00:38:57,200 We're about to cut to some ads, but first, 735 00:38:57,200 --> 00:39:01,720 can you at home find all the tasks Paul Williams has hidden around your house? 736 00:39:01,720 --> 00:39:05,600 Go and have a look around. Your time starts now. 737 00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,600 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 738 00:39:07,760 --> 00:39:09,760 (TASKMASTER THEME) 739 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,000 (TASKMASTER THEME) 740 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,320 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 741 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,520 It's nice to have you with us on Taskmaster. 742 00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:25,720 Before we force our comedians into one last potentially embarrassing situation, 743 00:39:25,720 --> 00:39:28,320 let's find out what our scores look like. Paul? 744 00:39:28,320 --> 00:39:35,000 It's very close, but out in first with 15 points, it's Bubbah. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 745 00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:41,480 OK, here we go. Everyone, please head upstairs to the stage for the live task. 746 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:43,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 747 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,280 Paul, can someone who's not you please tell me what's going on up there? 748 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:49,280 Ray O'Leary. 749 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:52,520 'Paint a painting on the canvas in front of you. 750 00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:56,040 'You must paint with the hand that is attached to your team's pole. 751 00:39:56,040 --> 00:40:02,080 'One member of each team must paint a handsome horse, and one must paint a dangerous duck. 752 00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:07,520 'One member of the team of three must paint a dangerous duck riding a handsome horse. 753 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:10,560 'Best paintings after three minutes wins.' 754 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:11,560 Are you ready? 755 00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:13,760 - KAREN: You're duck? - DAI: And Bubbah? - BUBBAH: Yeah. 756 00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,080 Stop talking, please. 757 00:40:15,080 --> 00:40:17,440 - All right, Dad. - Sorry! (BUBBAH LAUGHS) 758 00:40:17,440 --> 00:40:19,000 (WHISTLE TRILLS, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 759 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,000 (BUBBAH MUTTERS) 760 00:40:21,720 --> 00:40:23,720 RAY: Oh no. Oh, shit! 761 00:40:26,040 --> 00:40:29,240 - MEL: Mine's really pulling left here! - RAY: (MUFFLED) Oh, sorry! 762 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:32,840 DAI: All these photorealism classes paid off. 763 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,120 (RAY WHIMPERS REPEATEDLY) 764 00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:37,600 (LAUGHTER) - (SLURPS MARKER THROUGH TEETH) 765 00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:41,200 Ray, being tied to you while you make these noises is unsettling. (LAUGHTER) 766 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:43,200 (RAY WHIMPERS) 767 00:40:45,400 --> 00:40:50,560 I need a little bit of leeway here for a second― Coming left, if that's cool? Thanks, guys. 768 00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:51,920 (CHUCKLES) I've ruined it. 769 00:40:51,920 --> 00:40:53,120 Cool, we can go back to― 770 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:56,080 RAY: Don't worry. I'm nailing it. (LAUGHTER) 771 00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,520 - Don't do that circle thing. - BUBBAH: Oh, shit. Sorry! 772 00:40:58,520 --> 00:41:00,520 - PAUL: 20 seconds. - Oh, my gosh! 773 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:03,920 DAI: Can we just go left? (MUTTERS INCOHERENTLY) - Sorry! (LAUGHS) 774 00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:06,680 - What else should I paint? - Oh, (BLEEP), Ray. 775 00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:08,200 (WHISTLE TRILLS, BUBBAH SHRIEKS) 776 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 777 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:18,320 Everybody, come on down, and we'll judge them. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 778 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:22,040 Great to have you back, everyone. Please take your seat with your paintings. 779 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,080 We'll have a look at them and judge them, eh? 780 00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:25,640 Ray, let's start with you. 781 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,160 I've painted an incredibly dangerous duck. 782 00:41:28,160 --> 00:41:32,160 So dangerous it is currently mid-bank robbery. 783 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,280 - Baby blue gun? - Yeah. 784 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:37,560 It's holding up a gender reveal party. 785 00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,440 Mel Bracewell, what did you paint? 786 00:41:40,440 --> 00:41:43,640 Obviously, this is a handsome horse. 787 00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:45,520 And handsome, although― It is kind 788 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,240 of like a male-centred compliment, 789 00:41:47,240 --> 00:41:49,120 so that's actually not a leg. 790 00:41:49,120 --> 00:41:50,840 Oh. It's a stallion. 791 00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:53,200 - Yeah, it is a stallion. - OK. 792 00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,800 Karen, what did you paint? 793 00:41:54,800 --> 00:41:57,720 Well, I've obviously got Black Beauty here, um, 794 00:41:57,720 --> 00:42:00,280 who's just frolicking in the field, 795 00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:03,040 and then has been hijacked by this dangerous duck. 796 00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:06,440 And then I've put some quotations here which says, '(QUACKS) death!' 797 00:42:06,440 --> 00:42:07,600 And the horse is like, 798 00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,080 (WHINNIES SADLY) Ne-e-e-e-igh! - Oh, I see. 799 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:11,720 Cos it knows it's about to become a gutser. 800 00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:13,280 This is art. - Beautiful. 801 00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:15,640 I'll tell you what's not beautiful, and that's yours, Dai. 802 00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:17,440 (LAUGHTER) 803 00:42:17,440 --> 00:42:21,480 What's more dangerous than the green-eyed monster, jealousy? 804 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,280 This is a jealous, dangerous duck. 805 00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:27,480 So he went, 'I'm gonna destroy my wife― 806 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,720 'Not my wife, but the ma―' (LAUGHTER) 807 00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:36,360 'I'm gonna destroy the man who's been making me a cuckold, with a gun.' 808 00:42:36,360 --> 00:42:39,320 Bubbah, can you describe your piece of art, please? 809 00:42:39,320 --> 00:42:42,280 First of all, he's got a handsome name. His name is Jeremy. 810 00:42:42,280 --> 00:42:44,280 Ohhhh my God. 811 00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:46,960 And he was born with some differences, 812 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:54,040 and I feel like he'd be a great advocate for horses that look not like horses. (LAUGHS) 813 00:42:55,240 --> 00:42:58,800 Um, so his teeth was growing outside of his mouth when he was born. 814 00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:04,680 And he's got a blue eye and one big-ass Cindy Crawford mole on his belly. 815 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:09,680 Look, great paintings, apart from Dai's. (LAUGHTER) 816 00:43:09,680 --> 00:43:12,000 So, Dai, you're gonna get one point. - Fair enough. 817 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:13,560 - Nice use of colour, Ray. - Thank you. 818 00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:15,120 - But two points to you. - Oh. 819 00:43:15,120 --> 00:43:18,640 Three points for Jeremy The Handsome Horse. 820 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:22,440 Four points for Karen's homage to Colin McCann. 821 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:28,920 And I think five points for Mel's very beautiful horse. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 822 00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:33,760 OK, so that means that by the slimmest of margins, 823 00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:36,640 the winner of episode nine is Bubbah. 824 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:41,720 (AUDIENCE MEMBER SCREAMS) (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - KAREN: Yeahhh! 825 00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:43,720 Yeahhh! 826 00:43:43,920 --> 00:43:48,880 Congratulations, Bubbah. You are now the proud owner of a bunch of sexy objects. 827 00:43:48,880 --> 00:43:53,720 So please head up to the stage and enjoy them in a family-friendly way while the cameras are still rolling. 828 00:43:53,720 --> 00:43:59,120 Please. You've earned them. Go on, get up there. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 829 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,760 What did we learn this evening? 830 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:06,200 We learned that only losers call them skateboards instead of players' utensils. 831 00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:12,520 And most importantly, we learned that Bubbah is the winner of episode nine. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 832 00:44:12,520 --> 00:44:15,200 Ka kite, everybody. We'll see you next time. 833 00:44:15,200 --> 00:44:18,400 (TASKMASTER THEME) 834 00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,880 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Woo-hoo! 835 00:44:23,920 --> 00:44:25,920 (CACKLES) 836 00:44:30,120 --> 00:44:32,880 It's gonna be, like, 'Lay an egg. Your time starts now.' 837 00:44:32,880 --> 00:44:34,000 And what a fun time. 838 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:35,360 (THWACK!) 839 00:44:35,360 --> 00:44:36,400 You bastard! 840 00:44:36,400 --> 00:44:38,520 You cheating bitch! Why did you cheat on me? 841 00:44:38,520 --> 00:44:40,080 I filed a police report! 842 00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:42,080 This is insane. 843 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,440 It's time to announce the winner of season four. 844 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:48,440 It's about time! It's only episode 10. Woo-hoo!