1 00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,080 (WHEEL CLICKS) 2 00:00:02,800 --> 00:00:04,480 - Hello. 3 00:00:04,480 --> 00:00:05,240 - Hey. 4 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:05,880 - Two. 5 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:06,960 - (GRUNTS) 6 00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:08,320 (KEYS CLACK) 7 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,040 - Come on! 8 00:00:09,040 --> 00:00:09,600 - (GRUNTS) 9 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:10,360 - (WHOOPS) 10 00:00:10,360 --> 00:00:12,360 (KEYS CLACK) 11 00:00:13,080 --> 00:00:14,520 - That's for the haters. 12 00:00:14,520 --> 00:00:15,160 - (GRUNTS) 13 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:16,760 - Clink, clink. 14 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:17,920 - Chicken Little. - Cheep. 15 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:19,080 - (IMITATES GUNFIRE) 16 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:19,840 (KEYS CLACK) 17 00:00:19,840 --> 00:00:20,360 Oh! 18 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:20,920 - (SHOUTS) 19 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,680 - Yaargh! 20 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,680 - He he he he! 21 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,480 (CLUNK!) 22 00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 23 00:00:33,080 --> 00:00:35,080 (DING!) 24 00:00:36,360 --> 00:00:39,480 - Nau mai, haere mai, and welcome to Taskmaster. 25 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,800 My name's Jeremy Wells, and I was installed in this job 26 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:50,320 after the previous democratically elected host was overthrown in a bloody coup masterminded bythe CIA. 27 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:54,360 It's unfortunate things got to that point, but I think we can all agree it was for the best, 28 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:58,960 because now I am the Taskmaster. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 29 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:08,000 We are gathered here tonight to see five as yet uncancelled New Zealand comedians 30 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:12,640 battle it out to win this ― the Taskmaster trophy. 31 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:19,240 The five comedians jostling for the win tonight are Abby Howells... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 32 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:21,760 ...Ben Hurley... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 33 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:24,480 ...Hayley Sproull... (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 34 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:27,840 ...and Tom Sainsbury. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 35 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:34,720 Our fifth contestant, Tofiga Fepulea'i, as you may know, is unable to join us in the studio this season, 36 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:40,600 but we have been keeping his seat warm with the bottoms of beloved Taskmaster alumni. 37 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:47,800 And joining us for eps nine and 10, the one and only Chris Parker. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 38 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:56,320 And, as always, here to do all the dirty work so I can keep my hands clean, 39 00:01:56,320 --> 00:02:02,120 like a deadpan dog poo bag, it's Paul Williams. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 40 00:02:03,760 --> 00:02:06,600 Tell us about the prize task, would you, Paul. 41 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:12,880 - Today, we've asked our contestants to bring in the thing that reminds them of themselves. 42 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,520 - OK, Chris, let's start with you. What did you bring in that reminds you of yourself? 43 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:21,520 - Well, I'm not here as myself, Jeremy; I'm actually on behalf of Tofiga, 44 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:28,240 and so the best thing that reminded me of Tofiga is his entire line of merchandise. 45 00:02:28,240 --> 00:02:29,520 - TOM: Oh, wow. 46 00:02:29,520 --> 00:02:33,960 - And I've just done him a sort of EziBuy catalogue photoshoot there. 47 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:36,880 So, the tote bag, the T-shirt, the hat. (LAUGHTER) 48 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,840 - HAYLEY: Wow. - And there's a hoodie as well. There we go. 49 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,960 - Your head looks a bit like an eel when it comes out of a cave. (LAUGHS) 50 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:46,760 (LAUGHTER) - I know what you mean. 51 00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:52,360 Honestly, I didn't think a hoodie could be unflattering, but somehow it is. 52 00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,280 - Tom... - TOM: Yes. 53 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:55,640 - ...what did you bring in that reminds you of you? 54 00:02:55,640 --> 00:02:59,040 - Well, let's just look at it. (LAUGHTER) 55 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:05,480 You know, I think I'm just good at a party. (LAUGHTER) 56 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,960 I tend to go red. (LAUGHTER) 57 00:03:08,280 --> 00:03:12,080 - Aren't you vegan? - I― Yeah, I am. (LAUGHTER) 58 00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:16,320 - OK, Abby, what did you bring in that reminds you of you? 59 00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,920 - I brought in a haunted doll. (LAUGHTER) 60 00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:21,000 - HAYLEY: Yep. (LAUGHTER) - Whoa. 61 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:26,400 - Her name is Daphne, and the thing about Daphne is she is haunted. 62 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:33,480 I went over Daphne with my beloved Ecto Ray, and she is full of spirit. (LAUGHTER) 63 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:37,160 And that thing is 100% accurate all the time. - Wow. 64 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:41,200 - So I think at the worst, Daphne is a bit disconcerting, 65 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:46,480 but at the best, she could be a wonderful companion. (LAUGHTER) 66 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:49,720 - No further questions, your Honour. - Yeah. 67 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,600 - I'm shocked her name's Daphne, cos I like your outfit... - Yeah. 68 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:55,520 - ...and it reminds me of Daphne from Scooby-Doo. - BEN: Oh, yeah! 69 00:03:55,520 --> 00:04:00,640 - Thank you so much. Yes, that was absolutely on purpose. (LAUGHTER) 70 00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:06,240 - It's like watching preschoolers talk at the sandpit, those two. (LAUGHTER) 71 00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,000 - Ben. - Well, I thought I might go a little bit more wholesome, 72 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,240 cos when I think of the thing that reminds me most of me, it's my children. 73 00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:17,440 - ALL: Aww. - Yeah. But I can't give away my children. 74 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:21,400 - HAYLEY: Well, you can. It's just... a long, legal process. 75 00:04:21,400 --> 00:04:24,360 - Yeah, OK, let's do that. (LAUGHTER) 76 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:26,480 I've got two beautiful daughters. 77 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:30,600 A lot of people say they look like me, but I don't really see the resemblance. 78 00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:32,600 (LAUGHTER) 79 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:37,960 - So, you said obviously you couldn't give your― your kids away. - Mm. 80 00:04:37,960 --> 00:04:40,880 - You do realise how the show works. (LAUGHTER) 81 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,880 - Yeah, Hayley convinced me. We're gonna do it. - OK. 82 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,880 - Oh, I don't want them. - Better throw the (BLEEP)ing ep, then. 83 00:04:46,880 --> 00:04:48,880 (LAUGHTER) 84 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:53,520 - I will raise your children, Ben. - Oh God. (LAUGHTER) 85 00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,760 - Hayley, what did you bring in? - Hello, Jeremy. 86 00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:59,400 So, there's a very popular board game, 87 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:04,400 and on the front of the original box, I'm pretty sure it's me. 88 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,120 (LAUGHTER) So if we... 89 00:05:07,120 --> 00:05:09,920 This is Settlers of 'Cattin', and if you look in... - WHISPERS: 'Cattin'. 90 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:13,600 - ...if you look up close, that's me. (LAUGHTER) 91 00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:20,000 - TOM: Wow. - Also, Hayley, a lot of nerds watch this show. It's Settlers of Catan. 92 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,000 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 93 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,880 - Catan? - BEN: Catan, yeah. - Yeah. 94 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,280 - 'Cattin'. - C-A-T-A-N. It's 'Cattin'. 95 00:05:29,360 --> 00:05:30,320 - No, Catan. - It's Catan. 96 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:35,120 - I just love the smirk. Why is she smirking so? - Cos she's like, 'Look over there.' 97 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:38,160 - Is the other settler of Catan checking out your breasts... - 'Cattin'. 98 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:42,320 - ...or am I imagining it? - BEN: 'Cattin'. It would have two T's if it was 'Cattin'. 99 00:05:42,320 --> 00:05:45,680 - It's 'Cattin'. Don't be silly. Um... (LAUGHTER) 100 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:51,720 I do think that, yeah, the little friend is having a geez at my rack, and good for him, you know? 101 00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:56,760 - OK. Tom, I'm gonna give you one point, because I see what you mean with the cheerio, 102 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,200 but, to me, you're more like an old English devilled sausage. (LAUGHTER) 103 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:01,680 - Fair call. 104 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,680 - Two points for Ben. 105 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:07,960 Uh, I'll go three points for Hayley. (LAUGHTER) 106 00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:12,200 And four points for the merch for Tofiga. 107 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:18,640 And five points, cos that doll's freakily like you. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 108 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:24,320 All right, everyone's warmed up. Shall we get on with a task? - Of course. 109 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,320 Here's the hole task. 110 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:28,640 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 111 00:06:33,720 --> 00:06:35,760 - There you are. - There you are. 112 00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,760 - Here I am. 113 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:40,640 - Hello, Paul. - Hello, Abby. 114 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,640 - You're so cordial. 115 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:46,480 - What's happening, brother? - Just another task. 116 00:06:46,480 --> 00:06:47,960 - Another one? - Yeah. 117 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:49,600 - There's two here. - Yeah. 118 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,320 - This one's got a hole in it. - Yeah, I got a hole in one. - Oh. 119 00:06:53,320 --> 00:06:55,400 - I got a hole in one. - Ohh. 120 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:58,920 - So that's just there for that joke? - Yeah. 121 00:06:58,920 --> 00:07:00,560 - OK. It was worth it. 122 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,960 - I sort of like the challenge of this one. 123 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:06,280 No. OK. That was a dumb idea. 124 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:08,200 - OK. (LAUGHS) 125 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:10,520 - READS: 'Get a hole in one from the furthest distance.' 126 00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:12,120 - 'The ball can be any ball.' 127 00:07:12,120 --> 00:07:14,240 - 'The hole can be any hole.' 128 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:15,680 - 'Furthest distance wins.' 129 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:19,080 - 'You have 20 minutes or until you get a hole in one.' 130 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,880 - 'Your time starts now.' 131 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:25,640 - What would you do in this situation? - Get a hole in one from... 132 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:28,920 - ...a far distance? - Yeah. (APPLAUSE) 133 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:35,800 - This seems pretty simple. - Extremely simple. Get a hole in one from as far away as possible. 134 00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,440 - All right. Shall we get into it? 135 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:41,120 - It's a par three. It's Hayley, Tofiga and Tom. 136 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:43,040 - Furthest hole. 137 00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:46,200 Try and see if I can get it in that bath, eh. - OK. 138 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,960 - Any hole is a goal ― is that the phrase? - I'm not sure. 139 00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:54,560 - I feel like technically that's a hole. - I mean, that's up for debate. 140 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,760 - We've got a whole bunch of balls here. 141 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,480 - I'm gonna make a hole using this tent. 142 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:02,560 So, what I'm thinking... 143 00:08:02,680 --> 00:08:06,680 is that I will tape one of these on to the Frisbee. 144 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,880 There we go. There's the ball. 145 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:09,120 - That's good. You stand there. 146 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:12,400 You'll mo― Move if it's gonna hit you in the face. - OK. 147 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,400 - Ready, Paul? - Yeah. 148 00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:19,480 - Esa. 149 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:21,680 - (GRUNTS) Oh, Paul, sorry. 150 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,040 OK, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. 151 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:27,240 - I'm not very athletic, so excuse me, New Zealand. 152 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:29,200 (LAUGHTER) 153 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:31,520 I think the ball might be causing wind lag. 154 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:34,600 I'll just see if I can just do this without. 155 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,600 Oh my God. I'm giving up! 156 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,280 - I was hoping it would bounce off you in. - Oh. 157 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:49,760 - I'm gonna use the clubs. Hopefully my dad's not watching. - He will be. He loves this show. 158 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,720 - Good catch. 159 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:57,600 - Crouch down and put it on the ground. Like, I could bowl it. 160 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,480 - (SIGHS) 161 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,480 - Dammit. That was so close. 162 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:07,560 That was good. That's the technique. 163 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:11,800 - Esa. 164 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:15,800 - (SIGHS) The hole. 165 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,800 - (GRUNTS) 166 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,160 Ey! - Stay where you are. Stay where you are. 167 00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:27,120 - Esa. 168 00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:29,120 Yee-hee! 169 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:33,760 - Stay where you are. 170 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,080 17.92m. 171 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:37,520 - 70? Yee-hee! 172 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,520 - 17. Teen. 173 00:09:39,560 --> 00:09:41,160 - Yep, 70. 174 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:43,160 - 17.92m. 175 00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:45,440 - 92? 176 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,440 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 177 00:09:49,120 --> 00:09:53,920 - Tom, I have never heard that phrase, 'any hole's a goal'. What does that mean? 178 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:57,440 - I just think when you play a lot of sport like I do, you're like... 179 00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:01,040 You know, there's two goals on the end, you know, if you get it in, it's a success. 180 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:04,200 I thi― I believe. I don't know. - Doesn't matter what team you're playing for. 181 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,200 - BEN: Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 182 00:10:06,480 --> 00:10:09,920 Yeah, and sometimes you have to get an own goal. (LAUGHTER) 183 00:10:09,920 --> 00:10:14,720 - And sometimes you've never played sport before. (LAUGHTER) 184 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,720 - Hayley, I thought it was quite interesting that you had to tell Paul 185 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:21,200 that if the ball was gonna hit him In the face that he was gonna have to move. 186 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:24,440 - He's a simple man. You know what I mean? And we've― - Yeah, I know. Yeah. 187 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:26,840 - ...we're far along enough now that we know that with Paul. 188 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,360 - Meanwhile, Chris, I see Tofiga just laughed when he hit Paul with the ball. 189 00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:34,600 - He was gonna teach him a lesson and get his face out of that damn iPad. 190 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,920 (LAUGHTER) Look up, you know? 191 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,640 - You've had enough screen time. - Exactly. (LAUGHTER) 192 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,880 - We've heard the word 'esa' a lot, actually, in this series. - Esa. 193 00:10:43,880 --> 00:10:48,240 - And this was interesting, cos there was 'esa' when the ball just missed, Chris, 194 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:50,960 and then there was an 'esa' when the ball went in. - Yeah. 195 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:53,760 - Does anyone―? Do we know what 'esa' means? Anyone? 196 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:58,000 - I mean... You know, have a look at the panel; probably not. (LAUGHTER) 197 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:04,480 - This could play out either way, but the worst version is we guess. (LAUGHTER) 198 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:08,080 - So, Hayley ― 12.67m. 199 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,120 Tofiga ― 17.92m. 200 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,440 Tom ― 25.74m. 201 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,440 - Oh, that's good. - OK. 202 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:17,280 Coming up after the break ― 203 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:23,160 we'll have two more of the least impressive holes in one you'll ever see in your life. 204 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:26,640 We'll see you then. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 205 00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:28,880 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 206 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,080 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 207 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:36,760 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 208 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:39,280 - Welcome back to Taskmaster. 209 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:43,000 Where are we, Paul? - Our contestants were tasked with getting a hole in one 210 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:48,520 with whatever ball in whatever hole they chose. Furthest hole in one wins. 211 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:52,720 Up next, it's Abby Holes and Ben Holey. (LAUGHTER) 212 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:54,880 - OK. Any hole. 213 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,280 Can I dig a hole? - Any hole. - Any hole. 214 00:11:57,280 --> 00:12:00,680 - All right, Paul. Do you wanna play a little game? Come with me. 215 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,680 You ready? - Yup. 216 00:12:04,480 --> 00:12:06,160 (LAUGHTER) 217 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:07,800 - How impressive (!) 218 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:11,920 - Do you like this little manoeuvre I'm doing with the shovel? - Yeah. Is that saving you energy? 219 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:15,920 - No, it just sort of suggests that I'm in charge. 220 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:22,080 I hope you get your bond back on this Airbnb you've got here. 221 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:24,160 - Bam. 222 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,520 No! Oh shoot! 223 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:29,920 - I've stopped the clock. - Oh no! That was just a practice. 224 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:31,920 - 73cm. 225 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:37,840 - Or do we count this as a hole? - You could struggle to argue that it'snota hole. 226 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,480 - I'll use the power of my brain. That was just a test. That was just a test. 227 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:43,840 OK. I'm back. I've got a second chance. 228 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,240 - I'm going quite big with this hole. 229 00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:49,200 - It looks like you're getting a nice, clean thing that I can just put back in, though. 230 00:12:49,200 --> 00:12:50,720 - Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. 231 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,280 - Is this allowed? - Yeah. 232 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,040 - (GRUNTS) God. 233 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:54,800 Dang it. 234 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:55,840 (GRUNTS) 235 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,560 (GRUNTS) 236 00:12:57,560 --> 00:12:59,560 (LAUGHTER) 237 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,920 - STRAINS: Come to Hurley. 238 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:02,720 Oh, look ― it's a hole. It's a hole. 239 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,240 - What do you reckon, Paul? That's a hole. 240 00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:07,840 - OK. There's a small patch of grass missing. 241 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:12,720 - Ah, I'm just gonna bask in real manual labour for a second. 242 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,200 - Fore. 243 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,680 - Did you say 'fore' before you hit it? 244 00:13:15,680 --> 00:13:21,200 - (LAUGHS) Yeah, to let everyone know that a pretty dangerous ball might be coming. 245 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:23,800 - OK, you ready, Paul? - I'm ready. 246 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:25,800 - For attempt tahi. 247 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,840 (LAUGHS) It needs to be stronger. 248 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:30,840 - Fore. 249 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,280 Fore. 250 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:37,000 - Have you lost it? - Oh Lord. 251 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,600 Oh, no, there it is. - Yeah. 252 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,240 - Is that a fetching duck? I feel like it was going for the ball. 253 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,160 - Yeah. It's not a pond; that's just a hole. 254 00:13:44,160 --> 00:13:47,120 - Oh my God. It's in the hole. (LAUGHS) What are you doing in the hole? 255 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:48,520 Go away. Go away. 256 00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:51,400 - (GROANS) - A bowling ball? - Yeah. 257 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:53,480 Fore. 258 00:13:54,560 --> 00:13:56,240 - It went over it. 259 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,720 - (GRUNTS) Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 260 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:01,080 CHUCKLES: Oh no! 261 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:05,440 - OK. The thing about the hole is that it's... 262 00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:10,440 - ...very small and almost impossible to even see? - (CHUCKLES) 263 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:12,080 - (GRUNTS) 264 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:15,080 Yup, yup, that's in. That's in. That's in! It's in! 265 00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,160 - Stay where you are. - OK. 266 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:23,680 - (GROANS) Paul, would you think I was crazy if I said we go for attempt one? 267 00:14:23,680 --> 00:14:28,560 - So now you're gonna argue that that is a hole? - I was wrong to say that it wasn't. 268 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,560 - (GRUNTS) 269 00:14:31,240 --> 00:14:32,520 (GRUNTS) 270 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:36,840 - Wait. There was― There was a camera in there, I think. - Oh. 271 00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,840 (APPLAUSE) 272 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:49,000 - The hole was so small that the editors had to put a circle around it so you could see it on the footage. 273 00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,600 - No, I was sort of hoping you wouldn't show that one, to be honest. (LAUGHS) 274 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,360 - How far was Abby's hole in one? 275 00:14:55,360 --> 00:14:59,680 - So, the current leader was Tom with 25.74m. 276 00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:02,360 - Yeah. - Abby ― 73cm. (LAUGHTER) 277 00:15:03,960 --> 00:15:08,000 - That's the first manual labour that I've seen on Taskmaster in five seasons. 278 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,800 - This was the first task I did, 279 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,760 and I thought, is this what the show is ― just digging and chucking balls? 280 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:16,160 I was like, I am in my element. (LAUGHTER) 281 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,080 - How far was Ben's hole in one? 282 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,520 - 29.3m. (AUDIENCE EXCLAIMS) 283 00:15:21,520 --> 00:15:22,720 - Wow. - Yes. 284 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,480 - OK, so how are we gonna score that? 285 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:29,520 - That means one point for Abby, two points for Hayley, three points for Tofiga, 286 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,880 four points for Tom and five points for Ben Hurley. 287 00:15:32,880 --> 00:15:34,600 - Thank you. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 288 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,200 Very good from Tom. - Very good, Tom. 289 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,680 - All right. What's happening on the scoreboard, then, Paul? 290 00:15:39,680 --> 00:15:46,520 - It's a two-way tie. Both on seven points, it's Ben and Tofiga. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 291 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,960 - All right, Paul, can you hit me with another task, please? 292 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:56,360 - Sure thing, Jeremy. It's time for another team task, and this one is a task masterpiece. 293 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,440 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 294 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:02,400 - ABBY: Here we come. - Hello, Tofiga. 295 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,320 - TOM: Here comes the dream team. - TOFIGA: Hey, Paul. 296 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,280 - BEN: Is it left? Is it opposite to your feet? 297 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,960 - Do you think it's this? - No, true. (LAUGHS) 298 00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:15,120 - See what we've got. 299 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:17,360 READS: 'Bring a classic artwork to life.' 300 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,600 - Oh. - (CHUCKLES) 301 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:22,200 - 'Best living artwork wins. You have 30 minutes to prepare your artwork. 302 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,640 'You must be alive for at least 30 seconds.' 303 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:26,720 - 'Your time starts now.' 304 00:16:26,880 --> 00:16:28,840 - We don't wanna do, um... 305 00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,400 - Uh, God... - Unless you wanted to take your clothes off. 306 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,440 (BOTH LAUGH) - You should do that one. 307 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,120 - Yeah, n-no, thank you. - All right, Paul. 308 00:16:34,120 --> 00:16:36,640 - Yeah. - You said that too quickly and too enthusiastically. 309 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:37,440 - Awesome. - Let's go. 310 00:16:37,440 --> 00:16:39,040 - We'll be back. We'll be back. - See you soon. 311 00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,040 (TOM AND ABBY SCREAM) 312 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:42,800 (CHUCKLES) 313 00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:43,880 (BOTH LAUGH) 314 00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:46,960 Good to have the young ones running around for you, eh, Paul. - Yeah. 315 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,960 (APPLAUSE) 316 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,160 - Starting to get a bit worried about you ― 317 00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,880 getting a little bit confident this season telling our comedians to get naked. 318 00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:56,240 (LAUGHTER) 319 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,320 - Just thinking about ratings. (LAUGHTER) 320 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:03,200 - I'm ready to see some beautiful works of art come to life. 321 00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,120 Who's first, Paul? 322 00:17:04,120 --> 00:17:08,600 - Taking on da Vinci, it's da team of three. (LAUGHTER) 323 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:12,080 - Hello, Tofiga. We're back. - Very clever, eh. 324 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,760 - OK, so if you hold those in your thumb there. 325 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:18,280 OK. - OK. Start counting. 326 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,480 - OK. Two, one. 327 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,480 (LAUGHTER) 328 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,440 (APPLAUSE) 329 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:30,160 Is this the painting alive? - Yeah, this is the painting live. 330 00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:33,400 - It's quite similar to it just... still. 331 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,680 - Hi. - No, she's breathing. 332 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,160 - She's breathing. - Yeah. 333 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,680 - I'm breathing, Paul. 334 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,200 Look how beautiful I am, Paul. 335 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,160 - Extremely beautiful, Mona. - I love you, Paul. 336 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,600 (LAUGHTER) 337 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,600 - Thank you, Mona. - You can call me Lisa. 338 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:53,360 - She doesn't let a lot of people do that. 339 00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:55,760 - Mm. - Yeah, that's actually quite a big privilege, Paul. 340 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,120 - Just you, Paul. 341 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,160 - Was that the 30 seconds? 342 00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,560 - It's been 30 seconds, yeah. - OK. - Phew. 343 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,560 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 344 00:18:05,400 --> 00:18:08,480 - The background was surprisingly accurate, actually. 345 00:18:08,480 --> 00:18:13,640 Tom, it was interesting, though, that you decided that she would be Tofiga when you― 346 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,560 you obviously have a female in your team. 347 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:18,160 - Yeah, I don't know. We just felt, you know... - Yeah. 348 00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:22,240 - Tofiga likes to sit. You know, we... (LAUGHTER) 349 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,800 - Yeah, no, play to your strengths in a team, right? 350 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,280 - Exactly. You play to your strengths. - Yes. 351 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:33,480 And Tofiga has the kind of enigmaticness that is the Mona Lisa. 352 00:18:33,520 --> 00:18:35,720 - Can we see your Mona Lisa just to see...? 353 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,520 Yeah, see, that's not it. (LAUGHTER) 354 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:38,400 And yours? 355 00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:39,760 Yeah, there we go. (LAUGHTER) 356 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:41,480 - No, I think you're right there. - Yeah. 357 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:46,160 - Right, who have we got next, Paul? - It's Salvador Hayley and Salvador Hurley. 358 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:47,520 (LAUGHTER) 359 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:49,320 - I'm just trying to think about what I immediately remember. 360 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,960 They look like they've had a tiff... - Yes. 361 00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,320 - ...but they're at a barbecue and they can't talk about it. - (LAUGHS) Yep. 362 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,440 Well, they're just any marriage before 1960. - Yeah. 363 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:59,240 - Yeah. - Yeah. 364 00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,240 (LAUGHTER) 365 00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,360 - OK. 366 00:19:03,360 --> 00:19:05,480 Your 30 seconds starts... 367 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:07,480 three, two, 368 00:19:07,920 --> 00:19:09,920 one. 369 00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:12,960 - We'll talk about what happened when we get home. 370 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:14,160 - I knew I was gonna get it. 371 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:20,280 - yeah, well, it's the only thing you're gonna be getting. - Hmm. What's new? 372 00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:24,280 - You don't touch me any more. Stupid pitchfork. 373 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:29,000 What are you gonna do with that ― make some skewers? Some chicken skewers? 374 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,800 Stupid man. 375 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,200 - Chicken skewers are good. - Shut up. 376 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,080 You always undercook them and get a sore tummy. 377 00:19:38,360 --> 00:19:40,360 (WHISTLE TRILLS) 378 00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,480 Really good. - We did it. 379 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:46,200 - And, honestly, if your hair does thin... - Yeah? 380 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:47,840 - ...I think you're gonna be all right. - LAUGHS: Yeah? 381 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:50,640 - LAUGHS: I think you're gonna be OK. - Great. 382 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,640 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 383 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:55,600 - What happened to that bald wig? 384 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,280 Cos I'm sure there's a bald wig hanging around the Taskmaster house that you used― 385 00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:01,920 - There definitely is. I popped into the make-up room to just get a low bun, 386 00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,760 and I came out and he'd already cut a soccer ball in half. 387 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:09,640 And I knew where the bald cap was; I just was like, he's gone too far, so we'll just... 388 00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,640 - Yeah. - It's so crazy how your head fit in it so perfectly. 389 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:15,400 - Oh, it was very concerning for me at the time. 390 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,400 - Did it look comfy? - It was quite comfy, yeah. 391 00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:22,440 It's quite cushy on the inside. - I wanna go in there. - Yes! It's quite nice. 392 00:20:22,440 --> 00:20:25,760 - Any hole's a goal. - Any hole's a goal. (LAUGHTER) 393 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:33,760 - OK. I need to score this. I thought the Mona Lisa was fantastic. Three points for Tom, Abby and Tofiga. 394 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:37,160 But I thought American Gothic was particularly good. Five points for Ben and Hayley. 395 00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:39,960 - Thank you very much. - Thank you. 396 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:45,120 - All right, that's enough art. It's time for us to enjoy what artists end up doing 397 00:20:45,120 --> 00:20:50,400 when they run out of money in the heartless hellscape that we call a society. 398 00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:54,240 We'll see you after these ads. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 399 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,240 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 400 00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:01,600 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 401 00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:04,360 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 402 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,760 - Hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster, 403 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:14,240 the show where the losers get haunted by their failures and the winner gets haunted by Abby's creepy doll. 404 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:16,880 Paul, it's time for another task, I believe. 405 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:23,280 - Actually, I feel like it's getting kind of late, and I kinda need to go to bed. 406 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,480 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 407 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,320 - Hello. Oh, it's just me in here, is it? 408 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:37,120 - Hello? 409 00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:39,040 (CLATTERING) - EXCLAIMS: Oh! 410 00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,520 Oh. (LAUGHS) It was just the door closing. 411 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,200 Calm down, Hayley. 412 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:45,480 - No Paul. 413 00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,680 - READS: 'Scare Paul at bedtime.' 414 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,960 - 'Scariest bedtime wins.' 415 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:54,000 - 'Paul will arrive to go to bed in 20 minutes.' 416 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,000 - 'Your time starts... 417 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:57,760 'now.' 418 00:21:57,760 --> 00:21:59,400 - Scare Paul at bedtime. 419 00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:03,000 - This is great, cos I'm naturally creepy, I think. 420 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:05,520 - READS: 'Bedtime routine. Wash face. Brush hair.' 421 00:22:05,520 --> 00:22:09,200 - 'Deslipper and then respect the Taskmaster.' OK. 422 00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,600 - 'Journal 30 seconds. Bed.' 423 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:15,720 - 'Read for 30 seconds, and then lights out.' 424 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,240 - He he he he he he he he! 425 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:20,280 I wish I could fit in here. 426 00:22:20,280 --> 00:22:22,240 - READS: Paul's diary. Keep out. 427 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:23,400 I'll be respectful of that, 428 00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:29,760 because one time, my sister stole my diary and read it at a sleepover with all her friends. 429 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:31,480 I don't think about that ever (!) 430 00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,480 - READS: 'Things I get really scared of ― failure, sharks...' 431 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:37,200 - '...getting older and the unknown.' 432 00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,200 (APPLAUSE) 433 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,280 - Oh no. She already hates me. 434 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,080 - Do you wanna talk about that time when your sister stole your diary 435 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,320 and then read it at a sleepover with her friends? 436 00:22:48,320 --> 00:22:52,440 - (LAUGHS) Yeah, I don't know why I said that, because it― because it's true. 437 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,440 (LAUGHTER) - What was in your diary? 438 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,160 - I've got the diary here, and I'll read it out. - No! 439 00:22:58,160 --> 00:23:04,360 I think it's mainly about how I was in love with former American Idol contestant Clay Aiken. 440 00:23:04,360 --> 00:23:06,400 I don't know if anyone remembers Clay Aiken. 441 00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:08,280 - So was I. - Yeah. 442 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:13,000 - Shall we see who spooks you first, Paul? - Up first, it's Tom Sainsbury. 443 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 (DRAMATIC MUSIC) 444 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:19,040 (WATER SLOSHES) 445 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,280 (WHOOSH!) 446 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:38,680 (LAUGHTER) 447 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:45,240 - (CROAKS GUTTURALLY) 448 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,440 (CONTINUES CROAKING) 449 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,920 (CONTINUES CROAKING) 450 00:23:55,720 --> 00:23:57,720 Bwah! 451 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,640 (CROAKS GUTTURALLY) 452 00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:06,160 Goodnight. 453 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:08,680 - Thank you, Tom. - Have a good sleep. 454 00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,680 (APPLAUSE) 455 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:17,440 - Quite scary. Was that a ghost or a ghoul? What was that exactly? - That was a ghoul. It was. 456 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:21,400 There was also a mannequin in the bed, but that didn't seem to scare you so much. 457 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,520 - In fact, he was excited. - Yeah. (LAUGHTER) 458 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:28,840 He sort of started suckling on it. It was odd. (LAUGHTER) 459 00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,200 - OK. Who's next? 460 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:35,480 - Up next ― she's incredibly scary. It's Aaaahhhh-bby Howells. 461 00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:39,920 (LOW, EERIE MUSIC) 462 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:42,360 - DISTORTED: Is that Paul? 463 00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:43,160 - Yeah. 464 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,240 - I didn't recognise you, 465 00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,760 cos you look so old, 466 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:50,400 haggard by time. 467 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:52,080 (PANTS) 468 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,600 - Well, you're not looking too good yourself. 469 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,440 - How dare you, Paul? 470 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:59,720 You better be quiet, or else I'll feed you to the sharks. 471 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,520 - Ahh. - Yeah. 472 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,320 - Ahh. - Didn't like that, did you? 473 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,080 OK. I'll be back. 474 00:25:06,080 --> 00:25:07,600 - Like, tonight or, like, another night? 475 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,360 - You don't know, cos I don't know. I don't know what my schedule's gonna be yet. 476 00:25:11,360 --> 00:25:18,960 - OK. Just at some point. - At some point, when I've worked out my scheduuuullllle. (CROAKS) 477 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,920 (APPLAUSE) 478 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,640 - Yeah, the old torch under the chin ― classic scary look. 479 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:31,080 - It's classic. I channelled all my energy into the look, and once I got under the bed, 480 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,360 I was like, (WHISPERS) 'I don't know what I'm doing.' (LAUGHTER) 481 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:34,520 - I don't know. I mean, the― 482 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:39,800 - She looked so much like Daphne. You've got the eyelashes, the hair and the little red lipstick. 483 00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:42,200 - I know, yeah... (STAMMERS) 484 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:43,880 I was full of spirit. 485 00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:47,480 - I'll tell you what ― there's something about a ghost with a busy schedule. 486 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:48,720 - BEN: Yeah. - Yeah. 487 00:25:48,720 --> 00:25:51,480 - Probably means you're a good ghost. You've gotta do scaring all over town. 488 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,600 - Many people have wronged me, and I must make them pay. 489 00:25:54,600 --> 00:25:59,600 - OK. Show me another one, please, Paul. - This guy is also really scary. 490 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,000 It's Tofigaaaahhhhh. 491 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:11,800 (CRASH!) - Raaaaahhhhh! 492 00:26:11,800 --> 00:26:13,240 GROWLS: Wake up, Paul! 493 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,240 Wake up! - I'm awake. 494 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,080 I'm awake. - OK. 495 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,560 - Um... I was scared you were in the cupboard... 496 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:22,120 - Oh. - ...when it fell. 497 00:26:22,120 --> 00:26:24,840 - It's nice of you to think that I could fit in the cupboard. 498 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,320 (LAUGHTER) Have a good sleep. - Thank you. 499 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:30,400 (APPLAUSE) 500 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:34,080 - I did not see that coming. 501 00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:37,400 - The fear was understandable there. That was health and safety-based. 502 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,880 Did you see how close the wardrobe came? - Yeah! 503 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,320 I came out of the closet in a similar way. (LAUGHTER) 504 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,720 - Literally just tore it down. - Slammed your way out. 505 00:26:45,720 --> 00:26:46,920 - LAUGHS: Yeah. - Far out. - Push it down. 506 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:51,040 - I was incredibly scared. Obviously, a big fright, but also, I was scared for his safety. 507 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:55,640 I thought he was in it and it had just fallen. (LAUGHTER) 508 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,200 - Anyway, let's see another one. 509 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:03,560 - Now it's time for a woman who's so spooky she's named after the spookiest night of the year. 510 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:06,160 It's Hayley-ween. (LAUGHTER) 511 00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:15,400 - HAYLEY, DISTORTED: I cast a freezing spell on you. 512 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,080 I said frozen! 513 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:23,200 Mine... (SOFT CLATTERING) 514 00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,400 - (GASPS SOFTLY) 515 00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,600 (SCRAPING) 516 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:34,120 (SCRAPING) 517 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:36,680 I actually don't know how you're doing that. 518 00:27:36,680 --> 00:27:38,680 - Shut up. - OK. 519 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:45,000 This bed's not super sturdy. I would stop moving it if― if you are under there. 520 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:52,080 - Who says I'm not in the wardrobe? Why don't you go and look? - You've tied me to the bed. 521 00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,080 (LAUGHTER) 522 00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:59,440 (SCRAPING) 523 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,520 - (SHRIEKS) 524 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:10,760 Were you scared, Paul? - Yeah, that― that was genuinely scary. 525 00:28:10,760 --> 00:28:12,760 (APPLAUSE) 526 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,320 - I think when all else fails, there's always just screaming at the top of your lungs in the dark. 527 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:21,440 - I'd actually sort of done a bit of everything, and it was all failing. 528 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,600 Like, I'd put this Bluetooth speaker in the wardrobe, 529 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:28,320 and then I was under the bed, and it had disconnected, and I was like, 'Dammit.' 530 00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:33,200 - I was kind of bamboozled. She was like, 'Why don't you go look in the wardrobe?' 531 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:35,920 Just a Bluetooth speaker... (LAUGHTER) 532 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:37,600 ...playing nothing. - That wasn't connected to anything. 533 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,000 - Yeah, OK. - Yeah. - OK. 534 00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:42,200 But the lassoing was expert ― around there. - That was good, eh? 535 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,400 - That was superb. - I was a teenage witch, so I know how to spook people. 536 00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,920 - That's very high level. - Thank you. 537 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,760 - All right. Now it's time for the real stuff of nightmares ― ads. 538 00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:56,200 We'll be back with more Taskmaster after this. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 539 00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:58,200 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 540 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:03,400 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 541 00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,160 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 542 00:29:07,760 --> 00:29:10,440 - Kia ora ano. Welcome back to Taskmaster, 543 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:16,760 where five comedians are giving Paul Williams frights in the hopes of winning their own humanchildren. 544 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:22,920 Is that about right, Paul? - Yes. Our contestants are competing to give me the scariest bedtime. 545 00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:25,400 Now it's Ben time. (LAUGHTER) 546 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,440 (WATER SLOSHES) 547 00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:41,960 (JARRING MUSIC) 548 00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,240 (CLATTERING) 549 00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,400 - Hi, Paul. 550 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:51,920 I'm you 551 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,920 later on in your life. 552 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:58,520 Complete all the things you ever wanted to do with your life in the next 45 minutes. 553 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,520 Your time starts now. 554 00:30:00,920 --> 00:30:02,920 (CLOCK TICKS) 555 00:30:03,600 --> 00:30:06,800 - I just wanna go to bed. - Wasting it... 556 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:08,600 once again. 557 00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:10,600 (DRAMATIC NOTE) 558 00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:13,160 (APPLAUSE) 559 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:16,600 - Oh my gosh. 560 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:19,880 - I can't imagine anything scarier than going to sleep with a picture of Ben Hurley beside mybed. 561 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:21,040 (LAUGHTER) 562 00:30:21,040 --> 00:30:25,440 OK, so the scary thing was that he would turn into you? 563 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:27,760 - Mm. (LAUGHTER) 564 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:31,760 - Was that scary? - No. I'd be stoked if I grew up to be Ben. 565 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,760 - ALL: Aww. - Thanks. 566 00:30:34,080 --> 00:30:36,080 'Grew up'. (LAUGHTER) 567 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:41,840 - How do you wanna score it? - I will go Ben one point... - Yeah, that's fair. 568 00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:43,840 - ...cos it wasn't particularly freaky. 569 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:47,400 I think two points for Tom, 570 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,920 even though there was a jump scare in there. 571 00:30:49,920 --> 00:30:53,120 I thought Tofiga probably deserved three points, 572 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:57,440 cos there was only the one, but that was quite freaky with the wardrobe falling over. 573 00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:02,080 Abby was kind of herself, and that was quite freaky, so four. - Thank you. 574 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,200 - And five for Hayley. - TOM: Yes. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 575 00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:08,200 - Thank you. - Lovely. 576 00:31:09,480 --> 00:31:12,560 - All right, Paul. What have you got in store for us now? 577 00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:16,960 - Nothing. This is just... two strangers in the park. 578 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,280 (QUIRKY MUSIC) 579 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,040 - Oh God. (DUCK QUACKS LOUDLY) 580 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,600 Hi. 581 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:29,600 (DUCK QUACKS LOUDLY) 582 00:31:29,600 --> 00:31:32,640 - (SIGHS) It's quite a long walk, isn't it? 583 00:31:32,640 --> 00:31:35,000 - Hello, Paul. - I don't know you. 584 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:36,760 - I get what this is. 585 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,760 Spy stuff. 586 00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,720 - BEN: Cool. 587 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,240 - Oh, is that right? 588 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:49,840 - If this is a bomb, I'll be very upset. 589 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,920 - Oh... Oh no. (CHUCKLES) 590 00:31:52,560 --> 00:31:54,560 - You just... 591 00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,560 pull on that. (CLICK!) Yeah. 592 00:31:56,560 --> 00:31:58,120 (LAUGHTER) 593 00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:00,120 - (GASPS) 594 00:32:02,240 --> 00:32:04,640 - Better get my double chins. 595 00:32:07,280 --> 00:32:09,280 - (CHUCKLES) 596 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:17,800 - READS: 'During the studio record, tell an anecdote that makes the audience go, "Aww". 597 00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,240 'The anecdote cannot be true.' 598 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:25,880 'During the studio record, be extremely curious about Ben Hurley's... 599 00:32:25,880 --> 00:32:28,880 'skincare routine at least twice.' 600 00:32:29,160 --> 00:32:32,840 - 'During the studio record, confident...' 601 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:34,840 I was gonna say 'confidentially'. 602 00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:39,960 '...confidently mispronounce three different English words.' 603 00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:44,880 - 'During the studio record, passionately promote a fictional product.' 604 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:51,720 - 'During the studio record, give the contestant seated to your left the nickname "Mustard Hands". 605 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,560 'You must refer to them by the nickname at least three times.' 606 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,440 - 'No one can know it is a task.' 607 00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,560 - 'Most seamless integration wins.' 608 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,240 - 'You have until episode nine.' 609 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:01,800 - 'Your time starts now.' 610 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,080 - 'Your time starts now.' 611 00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:05,160 - 'Your time starts now.' 612 00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,280 - I can do that. I can do that on a dime. 613 00:33:09,160 --> 00:33:10,680 - Any questions? 614 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,240 - What's your code name? - Black Cat. 615 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:16,640 - They call me the Serpent. - Oh, well, now mine sounds lame. 616 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:18,640 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 617 00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:20,840 - Oh, wow. 618 00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:26,520 - Well, that explains some but not all of the very strange behaviour 619 00:33:26,520 --> 00:33:30,600 which has been taking place on the stage over the past nine shows. 620 00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:33,680 Should we, uh, see who managed to pull off their secret mission? 621 00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:40,280 - First off, calling the person to his left 'Mustard Hands', here's Ben Hurley. 622 00:33:41,280 --> 00:33:42,360 - Let me smell yours. - They're brand new. 623 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:43,480 - TOM: Good luck, Abby. - Thank you. 624 00:33:43,480 --> 00:33:46,680 - Yours smell like mustard. - (LAUGHS) 625 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,160 - Now you're gonna have mustard hands. - Let her focus. Let her focus. 626 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,200 - Excuse me, can you let me focus? This is very important. 627 00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,480 - Excuse me, I'm talking to Mustard Hands here. 628 00:33:56,480 --> 00:33:59,200 - PAUL: So, Hayley's chosen a sort of black leather loafer... - Yeah. 629 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,360 - ...with a buckle. - Classic Mustard Hands, right? 630 00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,480 (LAUGHTER) 631 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,120 Yours had so many bits of, like, food in it. 632 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:10,720 May as well put ketchup in there, mustard ― old Mustard Hands. - All right, pink fat. 633 00:34:10,720 --> 00:34:15,600 (APPLAUSE) - Wow, Ben. That was amazing. - LAUGHS: So good. 634 00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:20,560 - I totally thought that was just some bizarre Hurley... - Same. 635 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,080 - ...saying. I've never heard of that before. Mustard Hands. 636 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:27,760 - I know. I feel this whole time, I've been lied to by you. We used to be friends. 637 00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:31,800 He had another task where he had to pretend to be excited to see me. It's all a lie. 638 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:33,320 (LAUGHTER) 639 00:34:33,320 --> 00:34:36,160 - You must have been quite stoked, though, cos that was part of your mission, 640 00:34:36,160 --> 00:34:39,080 but you were getting good laughs for the Mustard Hands line. 641 00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:43,360 - I know. This audience is a lot tougher. (LAUGHTER) 642 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,120 - All right. Who's next? 643 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:49,960 - Passionately promoting her fictional product, here's Abby Howells. 644 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:53,560 - Oh my God. Her tattoos are so problematic. 645 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:59,200 She's just best from far away, I think, even though she's a lovely, beautiful lady, 646 00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:03,880 printed with sexy ink. (CHUCKLES) It's sexy ink, baby. It's the best. 647 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:05,600 (APPLAUSE) 648 00:35:05,600 --> 00:35:12,080 - OK. So, the fictional company? - Yeah, Sexy Ink. I also did another one today. 649 00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:14,160 Ecto Ray. - Oh. 650 00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:20,720 - I used my Ecto Ray to measure the level of spirit in the doll. - HAYLEY: You did. 651 00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:27,040 - And all of youse just accepted it as some of the weird stuff that I would say naturally. 652 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:29,920 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - It's good. 653 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:32,200 OK. What about Tom? 654 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:37,680 - Making the audience go 'aww' about an anecdote that never happened, it's Tom Sainsbury. 655 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:41,760 - You might not realise it, but I've actually got a very, very big head. (LAUGHTER) 656 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,960 And I... I haven't been able to find a hat that fits. 657 00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:48,920 - AUDIENCE: Aww. - Thank you. 658 00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:50,000 (LAUGHTER) 659 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:55,400 And then I found this hat, and it was the first one that fit my head. 660 00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:59,280 And I left it behind in a taxi coming home from somewhere in Newmarket 661 00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:03,360 after having one too many mudslides. (LAUGHTER) 662 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:06,200 Sorry. (LAUGHTER) 663 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:08,760 (APPLAUSE) 664 00:36:09,160 --> 00:36:12,600 They always say with lies, like, don't put in too many needless details, 665 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:13,920 and I think I failed on that. 666 00:36:13,920 --> 00:36:17,920 You know, why did it need to be about mudslides from somewhere in Newmarket? 667 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,440 But you know what ― I think I sold it. 668 00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:25,120 - Oh, the amazing part is that I saw tears start to well up, 669 00:36:25,360 --> 00:36:27,840 and I thought, wow, this really is a moment for Tom. 670 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:31,760 - Yeah. That fictional fedora meant a lot to fictional Tom. 671 00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:32,960 - OK, what about Tofiga? 672 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:37,800 - Tofiga was, unfortunately, unable to comment on Ben's skincare routine. 673 00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,720 Luckily we had some friends help him out. 674 00:36:40,720 --> 00:36:46,240 - And can I say, when you're real angry, Ben, something happens to your skin that just reallyglows. 675 00:36:46,240 --> 00:36:47,200 (LAUGHTER) 676 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,160 Eh? I don't know what moisturiser you're using, but you look great. 677 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:54,960 - Ben, can I just say, when the light hit your face ― absolute delightful skin. 678 00:36:54,960 --> 00:36:59,040 What's your skincare routine? - Yeah, he's good. It's good, eh? - Yeah, what is your routine? 679 00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:00,560 - Um... water. 680 00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:01,640 (LAUGHTER) 681 00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:07,560 - Our contestants are making soap using unique and inventive ingredients like soap. 682 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:11,760 - Wait. Uh, Ben, what's your skincare routine? (LAUGHTER) 683 00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,560 - Actually, I use a lot of pink fat. 684 00:37:13,560 --> 00:37:15,560 (APPLAUSE) 685 00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,400 - Oh, that was very good. 686 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:23,400 Bubbah going twice in a row there almost within about five minutes, that was gutsy. 687 00:37:23,400 --> 00:37:28,080 - Yeah, then she said she was gonna become a stripper, and I thought, people are hitting onme again. 688 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:29,280 (LAUGHTER) 689 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:30,600 - OK, what about Hayley? 690 00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:36,040 - Finally, confidently mispronouncing three words, here's Hayley Sproull. 691 00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:39,920 - Stay tuned for tickets for our, um, 'preformance' of Little Shop of Horrors. 692 00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:41,560 - I absolutely can't wait for that. 693 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:43,560 - You've never... 694 00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,960 been through 'child breath', have you? 695 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,280 - I've never been through 'child breath', no. 696 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,880 - Oh, right. - No, I haven't. No, I mean, I have. 697 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:57,080 - So, if we― this is Settlers of 'Cattin', and if you look in... if you look up close... 698 00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,880 that's me. (LAUGHTER) - TOM: Wow. 699 00:38:01,240 --> 00:38:05,640 - Also, Hayley, a lot of nerds watch this this show. It's Settlers of Catan. 700 00:38:05,640 --> 00:38:07,640 (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 701 00:38:10,920 --> 00:38:16,080 I don't come across as the most likeable in those clips. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHTER) 702 00:38:16,080 --> 00:38:19,240 - A real nitpicker. - You're gonna really love watching this show back. 703 00:38:19,240 --> 00:38:21,360 - You literally caught me two out of my three times. 704 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,560 - And absolutely pedant. How insufferable. 705 00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:29,440 Um, actually, it's pronounced... Jesus Christ. (LAUGHTER) 706 00:38:29,440 --> 00:38:35,400 - I was so nervous about doing that one today, cos it's so embarrassing to call Settlers ofCatan 707 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,280 Settlers of 'Cattin'. (LAUGHTER) 708 00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:43,160 - So am I gonna have to judge everybo― But this is impossible. So, everybody did their task? 709 00:38:43,160 --> 00:38:44,880 - Essentially, yeah. 710 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,880 - WHISPERS: Five. 711 00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:51,480 - Five points everyone. - Yes! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 712 00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,400 - BEN: Right on. - Very good. 713 00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:58,400 - Yeah, that's right. Slap those mustard hands together. (LAUGHTER) 714 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:00,960 - Now it's time for a secret mission for you at home. 715 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:05,920 Watch all these ads and let them influence your consumer choices in the future. 716 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:08,720 We'll be back after this. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 717 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:10,720 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 718 00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,040 (UPBEAT FANFARE) 719 00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:18,320 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 720 00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:22,480 - Nau mai, hoki mai. Welcome back to Taskmaster. 721 00:39:22,480 --> 00:39:27,000 We're about to embark on an live task and award one New Zealand comedian 722 00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,320 one of the worst prize packs ever offered on television. - Excuse me. 723 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:37,400 - But first, can we get a lay of the land score-wise, please, Paul? - Yes, Jeremy. 724 00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:41,840 - You've actually just really insulted Ben Hurley's kids. (LAUGHTER) 725 00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:43,920 - And my doll. (LAUGHTER) 726 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,400 - And my little sausage. (LAUGHTER) 727 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,080 - OK. It's unbelievably tight. 728 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:59,040 We've got three people on 18, but in first with 20 points, it's Hayley Sproull. 729 00:39:59,040 --> 00:40:01,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - All right. Sounds about right to me. 730 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:08,360 Can everyone, please, head up to the stage for the live task? (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 731 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,320 So, how's this gonna work, Paul? 732 00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:15,360 - Ben Hurley, can you please read this task? - Oh, sure. 733 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:19,480 - Do you want me to hold it? - Yeah, that'd― Yeah, it'd be great. (LAUGHTER) 734 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:25,280 OK. (READS) 'For two minutes, simultaneously eat spaghetti, keep your balloon off the ground 735 00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:30,720 'and participate in Paul's pub quiz all while being naturally photogenic.' 736 00:40:30,720 --> 00:40:32,480 (LAUGHTER) 737 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:37,520 'Your camera can go off at any point during the two minutes. Most photogenic photo wins.' 738 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:38,640 - Oh my God. 739 00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:45,640 - 'Most correct quiz answers receives two bonus points. Most spaghetti eaten gets a bonuspoint. 740 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:50,640 'If your balloon hits the ground, you lose a point. Your time starts on Paul's whistle.' 741 00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,920 - What on Earth? (LAUGHTER) 742 00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:57,960 - Here's my worst fear ― it catches me throwing up. (LAUGHTER) 743 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:03,640 - Are you allergic to spaghetti? - No, I'm allergic to your bullshit. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 744 00:41:03,640 --> 00:41:05,640 - Oh! 745 00:41:07,360 --> 00:41:09,360 - On my whistle. 746 00:41:09,400 --> 00:41:11,400 (WHISTLE TRILLS) 747 00:41:14,080 --> 00:41:16,480 (FORK CLATTERS, TOM GROANS) 748 00:41:16,760 --> 00:41:20,840 What is the name of the river that flows through Rome? 749 00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,840 - Tiber. - Correct, Ben. 750 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:26,200 How many times have Italy won the FIFA World Cup? 751 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,560 - Four times. - Correct, Chris Parker. - Oh my God. 752 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,280 - Balloon has hit the ground. 753 00:41:31,280 --> 00:41:34,720 What is the primary ingredient in risotto? 754 00:41:34,720 --> 00:41:37,520 - HAYLEY: Rice. - ABBY: Ri― Cottage cheese. - Arborio rice. Arborio rice. 755 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:41,120 - I'm giving it to Hayley. Hayley, correct. 756 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,600 What animal native to China shares a name― 757 00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:44,560 - TOM: Panda! - Panda. 758 00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:46,440 - ...with an Italian car? Who said 'panda' first? 759 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,240 - Me! Sainsbury. - Tom Sainsbury. 760 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:53,120 How many 'L's are in the word 'colosseum'? 761 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,600 - Three! - Three! - ABBY: Four! 762 00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,440 - Is someone saying four? - BEN: Two! - TOM: One! 763 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:00,440 - Correct, Tom. 764 00:42:00,560 --> 00:42:03,200 What is the Italian word for 'spaghetti'? 765 00:42:03,200 --> 00:42:05,800 - Spaghetti! - Spaghetti! - Tom Sainsbury, correct. 766 00:42:05,800 --> 00:42:09,080 What country does James Bond have a boat chase in... - Milan! 767 00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:13,400 - ...in From Russia With Love? - Milan! Russia! - Copenhagen. 768 00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:15,320 - CHRIS: Wellington. - Wellington. - Italy. 769 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:17,640 - Italy ― correct, Tom Sainsbury. 770 00:42:17,640 --> 00:42:20,760 What are the three ingredients in a margherita pizza? 771 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:24,120 - Basil! Cheese! - ABBY: Potato! (CONTESTANTS ALL SHOUT) 772 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,400 (WHISTLE TRILLS, CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 773 00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,160 - Did you hear who got that last question right? 774 00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:34,600 - Yeah, I think it was Hayley. - Thank you. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 775 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:41,280 - OK, come on down, and we'll see how these photos turn out. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 776 00:42:43,320 --> 00:42:46,200 - Thanks for shouting dinner, Jeremy. - Pleasure. 777 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:47,280 - Delish. - Warm enough for you? 778 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:50,440 - Just how I like it ― 10 degrees. (LAUGHTER) 779 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:56,240 - Yes, so Chris did like it. He ate the most spaghetti. (LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE) 780 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:57,360 - No! - Well done. 781 00:42:57,360 --> 00:42:58,720 - Don't clap that. - That's really good. 782 00:42:58,720 --> 00:43:01,360 - That is so embarrassing. (LAUGHTER) 783 00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:06,760 - So that's plus one for Chris. However, his balloon was the only balloon to touch the ground, 784 00:43:06,760 --> 00:43:09,320 so that's minus one for Chris. - That's OK. 785 00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:15,040 - And Tom gets plus two for the most trivia questions answered correctly. - Wow! 786 00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:16,880 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Well done, Tom. - Well done. 787 00:43:16,880 --> 00:43:20,520 - Should we look at the photos? - I can't wait to see these photos. (LAUGHTER) 788 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:23,880 Who are we gonna start with? - Here's Tom. - OK. 789 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:25,800 - Oh, OK. (LAUGHTER) 790 00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,120 - TOM: Yeah. - BEN: Oh, I like that I can see what you're eating. 791 00:43:28,120 --> 00:43:29,880 (LAUGHTER) 792 00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,880 - OK. Shall we see Chris? - CHRIS: No. 793 00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:34,840 Oh! (LAUGHTER) 794 00:43:34,840 --> 00:43:36,840 I look really good. 795 00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:38,800 Look at my bone structure. 796 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,320 - Wait, where are you? - BEN: Where are you? 797 00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:43,280 - It was a moment where he was sort of coming towards the front of the stage to get his balloon. 798 00:43:43,280 --> 00:43:45,040 - LAUGHS: Right. (LAUGHTER) 799 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:48,360 - Or heat that pasta up for another serving of that. (LAUGHTER) 800 00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:52,360 - I'm expecting a lot from Hayley. She was working the lens. 801 00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,440 - So, Hayley. (LAUGHTER) 802 00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:02,960 - Use that as Chris' picture. - Well, there I am. (LAUGHTER) 803 00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,680 Can I honestly say that is the worst photo of me to ever exist. (LAUGHTER) 804 00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,360 - Chris is not being judged on that; he's being judged on his one. 805 00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,360 - Well, I am. (LAUGHTER) 806 00:44:12,840 --> 00:44:16,160 - I also was about to say that's an unflattering angle of my jawline, 807 00:44:16,160 --> 00:44:19,280 but if you just sort of look to the right, it's actually OK. 808 00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:21,120 - I got ya, mate. I got ya. (LAUGHTER) 809 00:44:21,120 --> 00:44:24,240 - It's giving waist. It's giving boobs. It's great. 810 00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:28,640 - There's a little bit of spaghetti sort of dripping through your cleavage there, which is beautiful. 811 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:32,320 - Sexy. - OK. Ben Hurley. - Here's Ben Hurley. 812 00:44:33,440 --> 00:44:36,640 - Wow! (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Hurley. 813 00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,920 - I'm trying to staunch the camera out. (LAUGHTER) 814 00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:43,080 - That's actually one of the best photos I've ever seen of you, Ben, to be honest. 815 00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:46,720 All right. Let's see Abby, last of all. - Here's Abby. 816 00:44:46,720 --> 00:44:52,000 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Oh, Abby! - For goodness sakes. Stop it. 817 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,280 Well... - Abby, come on. 818 00:44:55,000 --> 00:44:59,360 - Well, that's how the divas do it. (LAUGHTER) - BEN: Amazing. 819 00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:04,680 - So, how do you wanna score it? - OK, well, Chris is obviously one, cos he's not in there. 820 00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:06,120 Sorry, Chris. - That's fine. 821 00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:07,680 - Hayley, two. 822 00:45:07,680 --> 00:45:09,520 Tom, three. 823 00:45:09,520 --> 00:45:10,600 Ben four. 824 00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:13,520 And, of course, Abby, five. How could you not? - Thank you. 825 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:15,520 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 826 00:45:15,520 --> 00:45:18,200 - Should we do a series score update? 827 00:45:18,200 --> 00:45:20,880 - I'd love a series score update. 828 00:45:21,040 --> 00:45:25,640 - With a two-point lead, currently leading season five, it's Hayley Sproull. 829 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:30,040 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - OK. Two points. I'll take it. 830 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:35,560 - All right. Let's focus on the now, Paul. Who is our episode nine winner? 831 00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:41,080 - It was a nail-biter, but with 23 points, the winner of episode nine is Abby Howells. 832 00:45:41,080 --> 00:45:43,480 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) - Congratulations, Abby. 833 00:45:43,480 --> 00:45:48,360 You are now the proud owner of a bunch of stuff that reminds other comedians of themselves. 834 00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:53,280 Please head up to the stage and enjoy your bounty. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 835 00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,560 Nga mihi o te po. Goodnight. 836 00:45:56,240 --> 00:45:58,240 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 837 00:45:59,440 --> 00:46:01,440 - Hi, guys. 838 00:46:02,920 --> 00:46:04,920 (LAUGHS) 839 00:46:09,240 --> 00:46:11,240 (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) 840 00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:17,720 Welcome to the grand finale of season five of Taskmaster. 841 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:22,280 This is the episode that matters... 842 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:23,160 - Ooh! 843 00:46:23,160 --> 00:46:24,520 - ...where a winner is crowned... 844 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:25,480 - Testing. Testing. 845 00:46:25,480 --> 00:46:27,640 - ...and where history is written. 846 00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:29,600 (DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) 847 00:46:29,600 --> 00:46:31,600 (LAUGHTER) 848 00:46:32,800 --> 00:46:34,800 (POP! EXCLAIMING)