1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Ooh-hoo-hoo. 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,200 My name is Paul Williams. 3 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,640 Oh! 4 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,120 www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 5 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:39,040 Kia ora koutou. Welcome to the television show Taskmaster. 6 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:43,640 We're here to celebrate and commiserate five comedians attempting to impress me 7 00:00:43,640 --> 00:00:48,400 by completing tasks to the best of their sometimes limited abilities. 8 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:54,000 All in the hopes of winning a golden statue of my head, 9 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,280 which nine out of 10 doctors call perfectly shaped. 10 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,480 Those comedians are Chris Parker... 11 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,000 ...Josh Thomson... 12 00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:07,120 ...Justine Smith... 13 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:09,280 ...Kura Forrester... 14 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,240 ...and Paul Ego. 15 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:16,160 These five hilarious hunks who spent the last few months 16 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:20,760 in a house trying hard to complete my diabolical tasks. 17 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:24,760 And to shepherd their efforts, I have my very own Little Bo Peep... 18 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:29,280 ...without the cute dress and intimidating crook ― 19 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:31,280 it's Paul Williams. 20 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:39,120 Paul, I don't say this enough, but I really appreciate the time and effort you put into yourjob. 21 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,120 Wow. What about me... 22 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:44,200 do you like the most? 23 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,600 I like the way that you move on to the next task really quickly. 24 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:52,040 OK. Sure thing. Our first task, as always, is a prize task. 25 00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:55,840 Each contestant has been asked to bring something wonderful to win. 26 00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:02,440 Tonight, we are looking for the best thing that delights all five of the senses. 27 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:08,800 My ears, my mouth, my eyes, fingers and skin are all salivating. 28 00:02:08,800 --> 00:02:10,920 Let's see what... 29 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:14,960 ...you think will delight all five of my senses, starting with Kura. 30 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,960 Well, I'm a simple gal. 31 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:21,240 I just went with my gut on this one, and the first thing that popped into my head ― 32 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,520 which is one of my favourite things that delights me in many ways ― 33 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,280 it's a Big Mac. 34 00:02:30,640 --> 00:02:34,400 And you'll notice there's some sexy music going with it for your ears. 35 00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:36,640 Are you supposed to have sex with the Big Mac? 36 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:40,480 No, it's just like... there's sexy lighting, there's sexy music, 37 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,560 and I don't know what that board is. 38 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:47,080 Last week it was wine, this week it's a Big Mac. 39 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,080 - Yeah. - I can see how this is working for you. 40 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:52,440 Well, I wanted you to get to know me, right? 41 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:55,320 Like, hands up ― who's salivating? 42 00:02:55,320 --> 00:02:57,600 You. 43 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,880 Paul, what did you bring in? 44 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:05,480 What I'm going to show you first is something that delights the main two senses. 45 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,440 So, butter chicken ― the best taste in the world. 46 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,680 Ew! 47 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,560 Fresh strawberries ― best smell. 48 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:17,040 Round the outside there ― that's a strip of velvet ― best feel. 49 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:21,880 And then in the top, you whack one of these. Oh, yeah. Jason Momoa. 50 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:25,320 OK. Yep. - Jason Momoa ― the best thing for your eyes. 51 00:03:25,640 --> 00:03:28,480 And that's them. That's all of them. - Was there a sound component? 52 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,600 Oh, yeah. I've got this. 53 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,800 Children laughing. Oh my God, it's like the best sound. 54 00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,440 - Sounded quite scary. - Yeah, that was quite freaky. 55 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:41,440 I think they saw that. 56 00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:43,720 Justine, what did you bring in? 57 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,400 This is a R2D2 popcorn bucket from Disneyland. 58 00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,480 It looks great. Mm. 59 00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:52,120 Can you just look a little more interested? 60 00:03:52,120 --> 00:03:55,760 It smells great. Yum, hot popcorn. What else is there? 61 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,360 Sound. - Oh, sound. Yep. The sound of popcorn. 62 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,720 Pop, pop, pop, pop. Oh, exciting. Oh, I'm getting popcorn, can't wait. 63 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,920 You can feel it, because actually, the R2-D2 is quite tactile. 64 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:08,440 It comes with a little thing you can hang around you and taste. 65 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:11,040 Well, fuckin' yum. 66 00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:13,320 Chris, what about you? 67 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:15,400 I always love when you go to a Thai restaurant, 68 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:19,440 and then someone walks in with a big sizzling hot plate. 69 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:25,400 And you go, 'Oh!' and they get all the attention in the restaurant, which I think feels really good. 70 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:27,640 So, voila! Some sizzling hot plates. 71 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:32,320 It sounds much louder than a Big Mac. 72 00:04:32,320 --> 00:04:36,160 No, I had sexy music. That looks like vomit. 73 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,880 - How does it feel? - Oh, my gosh. 74 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:42,120 Everyone looking at you ― 'Oh, we ordered the best thing on the menu.' 75 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:48,000 - To the touch. To the touch. - Oh, well, I mean, look at that lovely, slimy cabbage. 76 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Josh, what did you bring in? 77 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:55,760 Well, a long time ago, I bought a heavily discounted automatic tie rack from Jaycar Electronics. 78 00:04:55,760 --> 00:05:01,040 Naturally, during lockdown, I thought, why not make this tie rack into a sushi train? 79 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,280 There it is there. 80 00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:07,000 Ew, it's poked through the sushi. 81 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:10,000 The kids really love it, and I've actually got a video of my kids enjoying it. 82 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,000 Here, let's have a look. 83 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,680 Wow. - # It's the sushi train. 84 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,880 ♪ Everybody get on board, sushi train. 85 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:23,640 ♪ Fish and rice is your reward, sushi train. # - # Sushi train. ♪ 86 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:26,640 ♪ Salmon and avocado, sushi train. 87 00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:30,040 ♪ Come on, fishy desperados. ♪ 88 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:32,920 ♪ The sushi train, everybody... ♪ 89 00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:41,400 Is it just me, or is Josh trying heaps harder than the rest of us? 90 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:46,200 We just got takeaways. 91 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:48,680 I haven't made the sushi. I just got takeaways, too. 92 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:52,080 I just happened to put it on an automated tie rack. - Shut up. 93 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,160 You're a nerd. You're a nerd. - I'm an early target. 94 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,240 I'm an early target! I've got an early lead and I'm an early target. 95 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:02,440 I won the last one ― everyone's coming for me. Well, buckle up, because I'm readyto go. 96 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:05,280 You wanna come for the sushi train? Come for the sushi train! 97 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,560 Oh. The nerd's getting angry. 98 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:13,800 Five points, though. There's no doubt about it. Five votes for that. 99 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,920 Paul ― four points, because you get three and a half health stars for Jason 'Momona'. 100 00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:23,680 - Thank you. - I― it's tricky to know whether it's going to be three or two... 101 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:25,920 to you, Chris, or to you, Justine, 102 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:28,400 but I think because yours was slightly more culturally diverse, 103 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,960 so you get three, you get two. 104 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:34,080 Whoa, whoa, whoa. That is from Tokyo Disneyland, that popcorn bucket. 105 00:06:34,080 --> 00:06:38,120 Originally from Tatooine. 106 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:42,520 - One point for Kura. - Shall I argue about it? 107 00:06:42,520 --> 00:06:44,520 Nah. 108 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,520 That obviously puts the nerd out in first place with five points. 109 00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:52,000 ♪ Poison your children with old sushi. 110 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:55,400 ♪ My kids might die, but I'll win the show. ♪ 111 00:06:58,080 --> 00:07:03,720 Very good. Tell me, Paul, do you have a task loaded up from your little toy tablet, there? 112 00:07:03,720 --> 00:07:05,720 - It's a big boy tablet. - Is it? 113 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:08,400 Yes. But I do have a task. 114 00:07:08,400 --> 00:07:14,880 But I feel like I must warn you, if you don't like drama, leave the room immediately. 115 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:24,000 Hey, P Willy. - Come on, Chris. 116 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:28,880 Oh, man, this has got a whole 'It' vibe to it, which... 117 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:31,800 I may piss myself. - What do you mean 'It'? 118 00:07:31,800 --> 00:07:34,520 The movie, 'It'. The Stephen King book. The movie, 'It', with the― 119 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:36,640 Have you not seen it? - Which movie? 120 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:40,440 'It'. It's called 'It'. The movie is called 'It'. It's not... 121 00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,440 Forget it. 122 00:07:45,360 --> 00:07:48,560 Still gives you a shock, even though you know it's... 123 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,560 - Oh, cute. - So cute. 124 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:53,200 - Look at his cute little― - Cute! 125 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:55,240 This is cute. 126 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:57,240 'Make a dramatic exit.' 127 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,280 'Most dramatic exit wins.' 128 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:03,080 You have 30 minutes. Your time starts now. 129 00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:06,280 - I need smoke. - I need to catch you with someone. 130 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:08,520 Am I going to have to shit in the woods? 131 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,440 Well, it's great that the nerd's prepared to shit in the woods. 132 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:17,840 I think we all know Josh would have said that regardless of the task. 133 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:24,000 Well, I do love seeing people leave. Who do I get the pleasure of watching exit first, Paul? 134 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:28,840 She's been making dramatic exits ever since she came out of her mother's womb. 135 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,600 Here she is, at least 15 years later, this time with clothes on ― 136 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,600 it's Kura Forrester. 137 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,280 Thought so, yeah. 138 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:40,760 I am the phantom. I've been taken hostage. 139 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:46,520 First, they ate fish and chips in front of me with heaps of delicious-looking sauce, 140 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:51,000 but I didn't care. Then they grazed my knees. 141 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:55,960 They punched my mouth, and then they punched my eye, clearly. 142 00:08:55,960 --> 00:08:58,880 But I didn't go down. 143 00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,720 Not many people know this about the Phantom, but I have a son 144 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:07,840 who's also been taken hostage, and I will not rest until I find him. 145 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:10,040 So to my kidnappers, I say ― 146 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,880 'Give me back my son.' 147 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:16,520 Oh, you want an exit? 148 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,480 Ha. I laugh in the face of exits. 149 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:21,760 Watch this. 150 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:28,680 That was so good. 151 00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:31,560 - Quite dramatic. Great script. - Yeah, thank you. 152 00:09:31,560 --> 00:09:33,760 So just talk us through ― who are the characters? 153 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,400 Are you the― you're the phantom? - Yes, I'm the Phantom of the Opera. 154 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:41,400 I've been heavily beaten and kidnapped after a feed of fish and chips. 155 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:44,960 So there's blood, but some sauce as well. 156 00:09:44,960 --> 00:09:49,640 Not many people normally with a dramatic exit sort of say, 'I'm going to exit now'... 157 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,440 And then they exit. But I kind of like the signposting. 158 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,960 Thank you. Yeah. But I disappeared. 159 00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,800 Like, that was pretty 'whoa', if you ask me. 160 00:09:57,800 --> 00:10:00,000 - It felt dramatic to me. - Thanks. 161 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,480 - Yeah. Who's up next, Paul? - Up next, saying 'Bye, bye, bye', 162 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:07,080 it's JT ― Josh Thomson. 163 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,360 (YELLS, GRUNTS) Whoo! 164 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,720 Argh! 165 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,880 Whoo! All right! 166 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,240 Get off! Whoo! 167 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:30,600 That might not be one of my best. OK. 168 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:32,840 Splash! 169 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,920 Ball me! 170 00:10:41,440 --> 00:10:43,440 Word. 171 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,600 What word? 172 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,800 - I'm finished. - Oh, OK. - Yeah. 173 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:58,000 - Did that all go to plan? - You might not have seen it ― I hit both the doors. 174 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,680 Punch, kick. - And you kicked the woman. 175 00:11:00,680 --> 00:11:04,280 She's not a real woman. Well, all woman are― I mean, I don't want to get into it. 176 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,040 Yeah, she's got tits and a― she's got no head. 177 00:11:08,040 --> 00:11:10,920 It doesn't look good, this woman-kicking thing. 178 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,200 But... if you want drama... 179 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:16,560 Kick a woman in half, you know? 180 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:19,320 People are going to be talking about it. 181 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:26,080 - 'If you want drama, kick a woman in half.' - Mm. 182 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:29,120 Do you want to walk that back, or you want to keep that on the table? 183 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:31,120 Ah... Mm... 184 00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:33,960 In my head, I was like an elegant― like a― 185 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,560 like a gibbon, like, flying around. 186 00:11:36,560 --> 00:11:40,320 I just look like a drunk man falling over a lot, 187 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:43,440 and then sort of beating the shit out of a woman. 188 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,640 But I―I― Which is not good. 189 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:48,680 Um, and... 190 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:58,600 But dramatic. - Yeah. The problem for me was that the exit itself out the barn doors ― 191 00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:03,120 there was not a lot of drama there. So what actually went on was really post-exit, wasn't it? 192 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,760 I mean... Mm. 193 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:10,240 Well, before we see how the rest of these leavers left, 194 00:12:10,240 --> 00:12:13,280 it's time for our own dramatic exit, in the form of a commercial break. 195 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:15,440 But to make it even more dramatic, 196 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:19,200 Paul, would you like to end it on a cliff-hanger? 197 00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:22,600 Something I've never told anyone is... 198 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:33,840 And basically, that's why I'm not allowed back into Portugal. 199 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,920 That makes a lot of sense. 200 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,400 And just like that, we are back. Paul Williams ― 201 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,880 who's exiting next? 202 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:47,600 This 'Just-ine' ― a comedian has made a dramatic exit. 203 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,680 Let's cross now to Justine Smith to find out more. 204 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:55,680 You'll never be a real doctor, Dr Smith. 205 00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,840 Oh, yes, I will, Dr Chris Warner. 206 00:12:57,840 --> 00:13:00,200 I'll be a great doctor. A majestic doctor. 207 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:03,440 A doctor that never leaves Shortland Street, just like you. 208 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:06,520 Damn you, Dr Warner! Damn you to hell! 209 00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,680 Wow. That was very good. 210 00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,840 I was impressed with the credits at the end. You credited yourself with absolutely everything. 211 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:44,280 Including the camerawork, which was amazing. The lighting... 212 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:46,920 - I designed all that. - Yeah. It was amazing. 213 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:50,440 - Thank you. - Kura, you work on the real Shortland Street. 214 00:13:50,440 --> 00:13:52,760 - Yeah. - How did you think Justine's effort went? 215 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,880 I think it's better― better than anything I've ever seen. 216 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:00,120 Who's next, Paul? 217 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:05,480 It's our only contestant whose surname is also the name of a popular weatherproof jacket― 218 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:07,520 it's Chris Raincoat. 219 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:09,840 The style ― British. 220 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,160 And you're my lover. 221 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,600 But you're having sex with him. 222 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,800 And his name... This is... 223 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,880 This is Greg. He's the grocer. OK? 224 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,880 And I just want you to― I just want you to respond in the moment. 225 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:27,200 I want you to be real. I want you to lean into this. 226 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,480 And I want you to give it your whole heart. 227 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:32,520 - What's the line? - I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. It's not what it looks like. 228 00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:34,680 I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. It's not what it looks like. 229 00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:36,960 - But, like, scream it. - OK. 230 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,960 OK. Are we ready? 231 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,200 Oh my God, Paul. 232 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,880 Honey. 233 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:51,080 I'm home. I couldn't find George the grocer anywhere. 234 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,200 What's going on? 235 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,000 I'm sorry, baby. I'm sorry. It's not what it looks like. 236 00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,960 Well, what the fuck is going on? Your pants are around your knees. 237 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,920 iPad in hand, taking George the grocer up the arse. 238 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:07,000 Coke? Drinks? In front of the dog, you sick fuck. 239 00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:11,000 You're a monster. How dare you, you bastard? 240 00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,520 Here's your martinis you so loved to drink. 241 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,320 And your vodka... and your gin... 242 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:20,920 And your coconut water. 243 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:23,560 And you know what? 244 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,760 You can die. All of you, you sons of arseholes. 245 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,160 Die, you bastard. Die. 246 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,160 And you too, George. 247 00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:55,360 Oh, I tell you what ― if that doesn't get a standing ovation, nothing on the show ever will. 248 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:58,760 That's the power of queer cinema for you. 249 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:02,160 What we didn't see is Paul's pants down. 250 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:05,400 I mean, those pants around your ankles ― you've got two pairs of pants on. 251 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:08,280 I have more than that. I― constantly. 252 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:12,880 I was furious about that, because I did want to see his bare bum. 253 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,320 How did you feel being a part of it? 254 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,320 Honestly, the whole process was incredible. 255 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,400 Chris was a great director. 256 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,320 And can I just say, you really pulled out an amazing performance. 257 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,520 - Thank you. - Like, I saw some depths to you I've never seen before. 258 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,160 Well, that's amazing. I watched that thing and I didn't see any pulling out at all. 259 00:16:35,360 --> 00:16:41,400 If my calculations are correct, we still have one dramatic exit to go. 260 00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:44,680 It's time to bid adieu to Paul 'Egieu'. 261 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:53,080 ♪ Dramatic exit from the shed. 262 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:56,920 ♪ P Willy's looking really confused. 263 00:16:56,920 --> 00:16:59,400 ♪ Dramatic exit from the shed. 264 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:04,160 ♪ I'm feeling slightly aroused and abused. ♪ 265 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,560 On to here! 266 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,720 Sauce tits. 267 00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:11,880 Oh, and then we go for the finale. 268 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:14,680 Here we go. Dramatic exit finale. 269 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,640 Yeah. And some of that. 270 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,120 Oh, boy. 271 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:47,400 That's― oh. Messed that up. 272 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,720 OK. - Thank you, Paul. 273 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,520 Oh, I'm stoked with that. I've never made a more dramatic exit. 274 00:18:06,160 --> 00:18:09,880 Was that a dramatic exit, or was that a happy ending? It's hard to know... 275 00:18:09,880 --> 00:18:12,040 Exactly. I think that was a cry for help. 276 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:16,320 I remember telling my kids they should watch this show. 277 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,880 Yeah, yeah. I really went a different angle from the whole― 278 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,160 some fantastic dramatic performances. 279 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:25,640 But I thought, how dramatically can I just exit a shed? 280 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:30,040 And I've always wanted sauce tits. 281 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:33,080 You know, why not do it on national television? 282 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,320 I can't even remember what anyone else did anymore. 283 00:18:36,320 --> 00:18:38,720 I've just― I've forgotten completely what happened. 284 00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:41,520 I'd actually forgotten I did that, and then as― 285 00:18:41,520 --> 00:18:45,080 As soon as I came out with those― I went, 'Oh no!' 286 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,360 Look, technically speaking, both Josh and Paul ― 287 00:18:49,360 --> 00:18:52,640 I think they both exited, and then the drama occurred. 288 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:54,760 I think I've got to be a stickler on this. 289 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:57,400 I think, Josh, you get one point. 290 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,960 I think you get two points, just because I feel sorry for you. 291 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,120 - Thank you. Thanks, mate. - I think you threw your heart and soul into that. 292 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,800 I've always wanted sauce tits. 293 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,920 - Kura, I think you got three points. - Thank you. 294 00:19:09,920 --> 00:19:13,040 Because I liked the lighting, I liked the script. I thought it was very good. 295 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:16,440 Four points for you, Chris, and five points to Justine, 296 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,200 because you did absolutely everything on that. 297 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:28,160 So with two tasks down, let's do some simple maths, Paul, 298 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:34,000 so we can find out who's one step closer to owning a very, very cold Big Mac. 299 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:38,720 Currently out in first equal with seven points is Chris and Justine. 300 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:47,360 All right, Paul. Task me, my human cocker spaniel. 301 00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:52,000 Woof, woof. That's cocker spaniel for 'Sure thing.' 302 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:55,640 It's the first team task of the season. 303 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,600 Hi, Paul. 304 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,200 What a day, P Willy. 305 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:11,160 What the heck? 306 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:14,040 Oh my God. 307 00:20:14,200 --> 00:20:16,480 - How are ya? - Yeah, good, mate. 308 00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:19,720 - Oh, look at those! - I know. Aren't they sex? - God, they're brilliant. 309 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,640 Oh my God. Are we a team? - Are we a team now? 310 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:32,080 Are we doing something together, maybe? - Oh, maybe. 311 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,080 How did we not hear each other? 312 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,840 I know, I'm quite loud. I totally heard you guys. 313 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,120 Wa―wa―wa―wait! 314 00:20:41,120 --> 00:20:43,720 - What do we see? What do we see? Milk. Milk. - Bucket of milk. 315 00:20:43,720 --> 00:20:46,240 Father and son bonding trip. 316 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,280 'Don't touch the milk.' 317 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,440 - You read it, cause I always fluster reading them. - All right. 318 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:52,640 'Transport the milk.' Oh, I started reading it. 319 00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,640 'Transport the milk to the dock.' 320 00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:59,520 'Cheers the cow, and then return the milk to its starting plinth.' 321 00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:02,440 'One player must travel inside the Zorb!' 322 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:05,160 No, thank you. What the hell? What?! 323 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,920 'And that player must carry the cup of milk. Time will be added for any spilt milk.' 324 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,080 'The percentage of milk that you spill 325 00:21:11,080 --> 00:21:14,080 'will be the percentage of your time that will be added. 326 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:17,320 'Fastest wins. Your time starts when your Zorb leaves the starting mat.' 327 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,560 - Where's the Zorb? - Where is the Zorb? 328 00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:21,880 Oh, there. There it is. We'll put it in there. 329 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,280 Stick it in there. 330 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:29,440 I'm telling you right now ― I'm not getting in the fucking Zorb. 331 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:38,280 Some very interesting team dynamics going on here. Yes. 332 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,760 Particularly with your track record with women. 333 00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:43,760 Josh. 334 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,600 Well, nothing says New Zealand like a group of mates mucking in to get the milk down 335 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:52,920 to cheers the cow, at the dock, in the back of the Zorb. 336 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,760 But first, we're going to take an ad break. We'll see you shortly. 337 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:09,400 Welcome back to Taskmaster, where Josh Thomson's bespoke sushi train 338 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:12,440 is ready to choo, choo, choo into someone's winning mouth. 339 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,480 Paul Williams, what is happening? 340 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:16,720 We're working in teams to move buckets of milk 341 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:20,560 down to the dock and back in a giant plastic sphere. 342 00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,680 First up, they could be the before and after pictures 343 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:28,120 for either ageing or de-ageing cream ― it's Chris and Paul. 344 00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,840 - Do you want to get in it? - Not particularly. - I'll get in it. 345 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:32,960 I've never been in one. - Oh, really? Great. OK. 346 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,600 I don't think I can get through the hole. 347 00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:36,360 I've gone through quite a few holes in my time. 348 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:37,680 Can I just see what it's like? 349 00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:40,280 I think we should conceal it. They haven't said anything about that. 350 00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,520 - Can we cover it with something? - Yeah, like a plate. 351 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,920 I'll get some tape, Paul. - All right. You get some tape. 352 00:22:44,920 --> 00:22:47,400 That's, like, the perfect size. - Fuck yeah. 353 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:51,680 - Did you spill some milk? - Yeah, we have. - Nah! 354 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,720 Nah, I don't think so. - Well, we haven't started yet. 355 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:55,600 That's not going to splish splosh too bad. 356 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,920 Oh, look, we've made a thermos! 357 00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,200 OK, do you wanna― 358 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,680 Like a reverse birth. 359 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,000 I'll pass you your cup of milk, OK? 360 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,040 Time on. 361 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,720 Have you put on weight, Chris? 362 00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:13,440 Oh my God. This is reminding me of being in the closet. 363 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,080 Whoa. Yeah, we've hit the tree. 364 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,680 Now I've just got to get you over this bit. - I feel invincible. 365 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:22,240 Where is it? - It's right here to our left. - Oh, brilliant. 366 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:23,800 - OK, ready? - Gidday, mate. 367 00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:25,440 - Cheers, mate. - Cheers, brother. 368 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:27,480 - Oh, good on you, buddy. - Both milks have been cheers'ed. 369 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:29,080 Now we've gotta go back up. 370 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,160 That's a beauty. 371 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:33,160 Are you OK? 372 00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,280 Oh my God, Paul. 373 00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,320 I'm all right. I'm all right. 374 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:39,040 Do I just slide out? 375 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,440 Yeah. You're going great. You just carry on. 376 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,080 Look at you go, little fella. 377 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,040 Go, baby. 378 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,840 Yeah, Chrissy P. OK, stop there. 379 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:51,960 Stop there. Right. 380 00:23:52,400 --> 00:23:55,120 Do you want your milk? - I've stopped the clock. 381 00:23:55,120 --> 00:23:57,440 It is so hot in there. 382 00:23:57,440 --> 00:24:00,640 This is what happens when the drama kids do cross-country once. 383 00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:09,640 I wonder whether you're starting to regret your choice of footwear now with those Crocs. 384 00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,880 Because that's a Croc-related slip, that one. 385 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,480 That was definitely due to the Crocs. - Oh, totally. Yeah, yeah. 386 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,760 They were very milky Crocs. I wouldn't recommend that. 387 00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,160 I had no idea he bailed so hard. 388 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,760 He was like, 'Yeah, nah, that's all right, Daddy had a wee fall out there. 389 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,480 But I didn't realise he completely collapsed. 390 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,680 Oh, yeah. I've been in hospital for three weeks. 391 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:29,520 Was there any milk spilt? I felt like there was a little bit at the start there. 392 00:24:29,520 --> 00:24:32,760 A small amount. 9.4% of their milk was spilt. 393 00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:35,760 Their time was eight minutes and 46 seconds, 394 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,840 but then they spilt 9.4%, 395 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:41,600 meaning their adjusted time was nine minutes and 35 seconds. 396 00:24:44,200 --> 00:24:49,440 Well, that might be interesting. It's quite hard to tell until we see the other team in action. 397 00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:53,280 And surely they're at an advantage, having the extra person. 398 00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:57,080 So since they have an extra person, they have an extra bucket of milk. 399 00:24:57,080 --> 00:25:00,040 Oh. - It's Justine, Josh and Kura. 400 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,200 We could put it in something bigger. - Yeah. 401 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:06,640 You could get a rope and you could drag your milk while helping the Zorb. You know? 402 00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:08,600 What rope? I don't think― you can't drag milk. 403 00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,320 Like, you could put your milk into― 404 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:11,920 That's going to be a disaster, isn't it? 405 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:14,760 Nah, this is probably― well, this could be the best thing. 406 00:25:14,760 --> 00:25:16,800 Wa-wa-wa-wait. You're so terrifying. 407 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:19,320 No, no, no. I just want to plan it before, otherwise you'll be in the Zorb, 408 00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:23,440 she'll be covered in milk, and I'll just be like a ripped hunk, not sure what to do. 409 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,680 Oh, you're actually― oh. 410 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:27,800 - Isn't that what we're supposed to do? - No. 411 00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,760 That's to catch any spills. Oh, I thought we were― 412 00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,520 Sorry, I― I left for 30 seconds. 413 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:37,280 I think you're very brave for doing this. 414 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,280 Whoa! Jeez! 415 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,600 Clock is on. The clock is on. 416 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,640 Still got the milk, guys. This is kick-ass. 417 00:25:46,640 --> 00:25:48,640 Oh. Oh, oh! 418 00:25:49,880 --> 00:25:52,240 Cheers. - I'm scared to go down the hill. 419 00:25:52,240 --> 00:25:54,680 Look, I've got to get back. Oh, I spilled a lot of milk. 420 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,760 OK, the milk has been down and back. 421 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:59,920 - Oh my God, we did it! - Go, go, go, go, go. 422 00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,280 Yes! - It's cheers'ed the cow. 423 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:05,640 Great work. Watch out for the hole! 424 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,280 Oh, no, I'm OK. - You're doing great. You're doing great. Good, nice. 425 00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:12,720 - Oh my God. - So good. 426 00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,200 Roll down the front. Whoa, buddy. 427 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,560 Oh, you― 428 00:26:20,360 --> 00:26:23,040 I'm getting out. OK. 429 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,480 Oh God. 430 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,360 This is a terrible waste. This a terrible waste. 431 00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:29,360 Fuck me. 432 00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,520 - Whoo! - Yes! 433 00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:33,960 Oh, we knocked your little fence down? Sorry, mate. - It's OK. 434 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,000 Yeah, that was the Zorb, it wasn't us. 435 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,800 Ew, I've got milk all over me, and shit. 436 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,280 You'd think three heads would be better than two, 437 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:48,720 but I kind of felt like there was a distinct lack of trust in that group there. 438 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,920 Kura, you seemed to be doing all the work inside of the Zorb. 439 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,920 Yes. Look at that face. 440 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:58,680 - She's too scared to say anything. - It was a team effort. 441 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:01,440 Well, I had a really fun time. 442 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,560 Well, I was covered in shit. 443 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,840 They seemed to spill a lot of milk. 444 00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,320 So, their time was nine minutes and 28 seconds, 445 00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:12,280 but they lost 14.7% of their milk. 446 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:16,040 So their adjusted time was 10 minutes and 51 seconds. 447 00:27:16,040 --> 00:27:18,840 - Drats. - Paul and Chris, you guys get five points each. 448 00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:22,200 - Ka-ching. - That's the way to go. 449 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,240 And I think you guys could have got four points, 450 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:26,560 but I just didn't like the niggle that was going on in your team. 451 00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:28,560 So you get three points each. 452 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:36,080 Well, if you didn't like that niggle, you're not going to like the rest of our team task. 453 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:40,160 So what are the scores looking like now? 454 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:43,120 Out in first with 12 points ― Chris Parker. 455 00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:49,000 It's time to go grab yourself a tall, awkwardly-filled-to-the-brim 456 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,800 glass of dairy or plant-based milk, 457 00:27:51,800 --> 00:27:54,560 as we go to the commercials. We'll see you in a moment. 458 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:05,920 Welcome back to Taskmaster. 459 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,600 Paul Williams ― what say we keep this moving along with another task? 460 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:14,800 Sure thing. This next task gets a very solid 3.14 star rating. 461 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:22,920 Come on. Come on. 462 00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,240 Where are you, Paul? You're in there, Paul. Hi, Paul. 463 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,640 Hello, Josh. Holy. 464 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:32,520 Oh, a pie. - I see you've been very busy in the kitchen. 465 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:34,520 That's a nice shortcrust. 466 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:36,080 I hope it's not 'eat the pie'. 467 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:38,240 All the information you need is in the task. 468 00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:41,160 - Is in the task. I know. - Personal jinx. 469 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,520 OK. 470 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,320 - Out loud, please. - Right, sorry. 471 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,880 Recipe pie. Just got recipe. 472 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,800 'Recite pi to the most decimal places.' 473 00:28:56,800 --> 00:28:59,440 'Your one and only attempt starts in 10 minutes. 474 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:01,640 'Your time starts now.' 475 00:29:01,640 --> 00:29:05,240 Can I use a googling something device? Oh. 476 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,760 - Can I read it off the paper? - No. 477 00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,040 - It has to be off by heart? - Yes. 478 00:29:11,040 --> 00:29:14,040 - Why is this here? - Just sort of a decoration. 479 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:17,720 You know what I'm like around baked goods. You can't put shit like this on the table. 480 00:29:20,800 --> 00:29:24,760 Once again, I'm hearing a lot of complaining coming from you, Josh. 481 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:27,240 I mean, it's not fair. 482 00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:29,760 I don't know how this goes, but if I do badly, 483 00:29:29,760 --> 00:29:33,040 it's probably because of the apricot pie that was put in front of me. 484 00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,200 - Apricot? - You can smell it when you walk in. 485 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,800 All I could smell was Paul and his Lynx Africa. 486 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:43,960 - Paul, who is first? - It's Josh, Paul and Kura. 487 00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,880 I reckon I could probably only remember, like, a page a minute. 488 00:29:47,880 --> 00:29:50,160 Ka-ching! Photographic memory. 489 00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:52,840 Where's the next decimal place? 490 00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:55,240 Oh, these are all decimal places. 491 00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:57,240 3.141592563. 492 00:29:58,120 --> 00:30:00,840 Right, remember that. Do you want to share this? It's really good. 493 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:02,840 3.141592653. 494 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:07,280 Five minutes and 12 seconds. 495 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,920 I reckon we can do it if I stick mainly to the crust. 496 00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:11,920 41592653. Ha! Ha! Ha! 497 00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:19,840 I don't think I'm going to be able to finish it, mate. 498 00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:25,400 Not exactly a page turner, is it? 499 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,160 Can you stop me when I get it wrong? 500 00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:45,160 - No. - Cool. 501 00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:00,880 Skipped a few. 502 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:08,720 You're not gonna stop me when I get it wrong? We're going to die in here with me saying numbers. 503 00:31:08,720 --> 00:31:14,560 At some point I'll stop and eat this, but then I'll just go back to numbers. 504 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:19,440 I'll get thirsty. I'll probably have to drink my own urine. 505 00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,960 Is that as far as you want to go? Yeah. 506 00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:34,560 - There were a few letters in there. - Where? 507 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,560 - Did I get heaps right? - I can't say. 508 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:39,920 Do you want to know how the others did? - Yes. 509 00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,160 I can't― I can't tell you, sorry. 510 00:31:42,160 --> 00:31:46,320 Well, I did better than I thought, but I didn't know if you could tell I was making someof it up. 511 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:50,720 I've got it all written in front of me. So if any of them were wrong... 512 00:31:50,720 --> 00:31:53,200 - You'd be able to tell. - Yeah. 513 00:31:53,440 --> 00:31:56,160 Thank you, Josh. - You're welcome. 514 00:31:57,440 --> 00:32:01,240 - Paul ― your conviction around those numbers was quite impressive. - Thank you. 515 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,720 The only issue was that at the bottom, there was a graphic that was going along, 516 00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:07,840 which showed that you didn't know what on earth you were talking about. 517 00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:11,520 Yeah, I remembered a few. But then I just thought, I'll just chuck some in. 518 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:17,280 He won't notice. He'll just be distracted by the fact that I ate an entire pie. 519 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,560 I think he noticed when you said 11. 520 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,600 That's a number. 11's a number. 521 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:24,760 It's a number, Paul. That's right. 522 00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:28,240 Josh ― you were willing to die at one stage. - Yeah, yeah. 523 00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:30,440 Then you were willing to drink your own urine. 524 00:32:31,920 --> 00:32:33,880 And by the end of it, you'd sort of moved on. 525 00:32:33,880 --> 00:32:36,920 Yeah, I just committed to, like, learning the first nine or whatever it was, 526 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:40,320 and then I― I didn't realise I'd got them all right. That was... 527 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:41,240 Where did we get to? 528 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,640 - So, Paul recited pi to nine places. - Yeah. 529 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,560 - Kura recited pi to 12 places. - That's impressive. 530 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:51,360 - And Josh recited pi to 13 places. - That's impressive. That's good. 531 00:32:54,840 --> 00:32:59,400 I feel like our reciting can only get better or worse from here. 532 00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:01,960 - You know, we don't actually have to even watch. - Let's just not bother. 533 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:03,880 Let's end it there. - We could just― we could end it there. 534 00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:06,520 End it on a massive high. - Yeah, that's great. Chris and I are fine. 535 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,800 Who's next, Paul? 536 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,360 Her name has seven letters, which is crazy, 537 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,840 because I've received seven letters from the police 538 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:18,480 telling me to stop loitering outside Jeremy's house ― it's Justine. 539 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,120 - I have to recite it to you. - In 10 minutes. 540 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,320 OK. No problem. 541 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,640 3.14159... 542 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,760 26535897... 543 00:33:27,760 --> 00:33:29,840 93238462... 544 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,280 64338327... 545 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,280 950. 28841... 546 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:36,320 97169399... 547 00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,560 37510581... 548 00:33:38,760 --> 00:33:40,760 0270193... 549 00:33:41,000 --> 00:33:43,000 852. 110555... 550 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,680 964461045. 551 00:33:46,160 --> 00:33:48,360 Am I doing this correctly? 552 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:53,200 Quite ambitious. 553 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,760 0471018094... 554 00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,240 823547816. 555 00:34:08,800 --> 00:34:10,800 - You ready? - For? 556 00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,560 Reciting pi. 557 00:34:14,560 --> 00:34:16,640 Reciting's from memory. 558 00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:18,720 You ready? 559 00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,160 Yeah. Three. 560 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:23,880 - Mm-hm. - Mm. Five? 561 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:29,000 Do I get more chances? 562 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:34,200 Got to say a lot of numbers, though. 563 00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:37,600 Sorry, I thought you were really good at memorising. 564 00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:39,880 You're an arsehole, Paul. 565 00:34:42,680 --> 00:34:45,080 Enjoy your pie. - You can take the pie if you want. 566 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:49,440 I'm gonna smash that pie in your face. 567 00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,480 I hate maths. I hate maths, I hate numbers. 568 00:34:52,480 --> 00:34:56,760 I hate Paul. Now I hate the caravan. So that's great. 569 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,720 So how do you think you went there, Justine? 570 00:35:04,720 --> 00:35:07,320 Well, pretty poorly, Jeremy. 571 00:35:07,480 --> 00:35:10,160 How did Justine go there, Paul? 572 00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:12,600 Well, she got the three... 573 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:15,560 And then, yeah, the rest was wrong. 574 00:35:16,320 --> 00:35:18,600 I thought maybe you just had to do it. 575 00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:23,000 And then if you made a mistake reading it... 576 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:27,880 I had a nervous breakdown, and I― I'm sorry. 577 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:31,720 - You looked fabulous reading it, though. - Yes. So good. 578 00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:34,320 - Don't patronise me. - So good. 579 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:36,800 It was shit, and I'm embarrassed about it. 580 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:39,200 And I was in the car driving home, feeling embarrassed about it, 581 00:35:39,200 --> 00:35:43,160 and now a few months later, embarrassed again. So, yay! 582 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,320 I wouldn't be that embarrassed, Justine, honestly. 583 00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,920 - Surely not. - So there's one more, isn't there? 584 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,280 I'll just take myself out, actually. 585 00:35:55,280 --> 00:35:58,080 Who is he, and what witty quip do you have to introduce him? 586 00:35:58,080 --> 00:36:01,480 He's the man who took the first five letters of his hometown 587 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,600 and turned them into his name ― 588 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,920 from 'Christ's Church', it's Chris Parker. 589 00:36:06,920 --> 00:36:10,160 I need, like, like visual cues. One ― duck. 590 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:13,360 Five ― spoon, nine ― pieces of fruit. 591 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,680 14159. 592 00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:19,040 265? 593 00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:22,080 14159... 594 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,800 26535... 595 00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:27,480 897. 596 00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:29,600 - What's the 897 mean? - We're running out of objects. 597 00:36:29,600 --> 00:36:32,000 And so I'm just kind of doing it in a... 598 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:33,560 - Southern. - Southern accent. - Right. 599 00:36:33,560 --> 00:36:35,560 1415... 600 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:37,880 9265... 601 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,160 35897... 602 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:42,600 9323... 603 00:36:42,680 --> 00:36:44,680 846. 604 00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,720 39 seconds. - That's it. Don't you fucking give me another number. 605 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:51,320 Just― and when we're ready to go, go ― like that. 606 00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:54,000 Because we are holding together. 607 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,080 Stop. 608 00:36:56,200 --> 00:36:59,600 Are you ready for your recital? - Uh-huh. 609 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,360 One, four... 610 00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:06,720 What is the first number of pi? 611 00:37:06,720 --> 00:37:08,720 Three. 612 00:37:10,560 --> 00:37:13,280 - Three point... - No. 613 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,360 You've done an attempt. 614 00:37:15,720 --> 00:37:17,720 No, no, no. 615 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:25,240 OK, well, fine, whatever. And now I'll just do one for me. 616 00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:27,320 141... 617 00:37:27,800 --> 00:37:29,800 59265... 618 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:32,800 35897... 619 00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,800 9323... 620 00:37:35,800 --> 00:37:37,840 846. 621 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:47,040 And you thought you had a nervous breakdown. 622 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,240 I'll ask you the same question I asked Justine ― 623 00:37:49,240 --> 00:37:51,680 how do you think you went there? 624 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:53,680 I'm lost for words. 625 00:37:54,560 --> 00:37:57,880 We were in there for so long. I learned a full routine. 626 00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:02,400 Just completely thought 'Wow, I'll forget the first number.' 627 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:06,200 And then I started doubting myself, and then I felt sad. 628 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,520 And then I felt unhinged. 629 00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:11,960 And then I kind of felt angry. 630 00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,040 And then I kind of ended horny, which was surprising. 631 00:38:15,040 --> 00:38:17,720 Oh, man. 632 00:38:18,200 --> 00:38:23,400 So, Chris successfully memorised 21 of the first 22 numbers. 633 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,840 Yes. Unfortunately, he forgot the very first one. 634 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:30,440 But you know what? 635 00:38:30,880 --> 00:38:33,000 No, it wasn't even fun. I don't know. 636 00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:35,120 - Can you remember any of it? - God, no. 637 00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,520 I've blanked that whole thing out. 1513... 638 00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:39,520 - No, no, three. - Oh. 639 00:38:45,480 --> 00:38:47,680 Thank you for this opportunity. 640 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:49,920 Thank you. 641 00:38:56,080 --> 00:38:58,280 I actually love this show. 642 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:02,560 Paul, please do what Justine and Chris failed to do, and put some numbers in an order. 643 00:39:02,560 --> 00:39:07,520 Some scores, please. - Well, the question is a point for Chris, or no points for Chris? 644 00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,680 Oh, give Chris a point. I think we should give Chris a point. 645 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,480 Wait a minute― wait, wait, wait. 646 00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,720 - Well, you get two points. - Oh, do I? - Yeah. 647 00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,080 - Unless you've got a problem with that? - Great, great. 648 00:39:19,080 --> 00:39:22,440 So one point for Chris, two for Justine, because she got a number. 649 00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:28,680 Three points for Paul, four points for Kura, and five points for Josh. 650 00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:31,920 But it's all still to play for. 651 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:36,520 Make sure you come back to find out who's taking it all home, after these advertisements. 652 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:49,240 Welcome back to Taskmaster, where an array of numerical figures 653 00:39:49,240 --> 00:39:53,320 are going to be used to determine who's going to get to have their five senses overloaded 654 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:57,760 with some sizzling beef that stopped sizzling about a half an hour ago. 655 00:39:57,760 --> 00:40:01,400 Paul, who's in the lead? - It is a nail-biter. 656 00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:06,000 In first equal, on 14 points, Paul Ego and Josh Thomson. 657 00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,560 There is only one way to settle this, 658 00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:14,040 but since fight to the death is banned on most television timeslots, 659 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,320 it's going to have to be a live task. 660 00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:18,560 Head up to the stage, please. 661 00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:23,160 Well, that's a good old fashioned Kiwi shed there, 662 00:40:23,160 --> 00:40:27,760 so I can only assume that there's is going to be some good old fashioned Kiwi tasking goingon. 663 00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,200 Who's going to read the task? 664 00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,400 - How about Justine Smith? - Sure thing, Paul. 665 00:40:32,400 --> 00:40:35,120 Memorise the names of the fish on the poster in the shed. 666 00:40:35,120 --> 00:40:39,000 You have 100 seconds, and your time starts now. 667 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,160 How do I open it? Lift that up and see what happens. 668 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:46,240 God. Oh, it's cosy. 669 00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:48,880 - Oh, this is lovely. - Well lit. 670 00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:50,880 Shut up. 671 00:40:59,120 --> 00:41:01,440 It's a good time for the audience, this one, isn't it? 672 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:07,560 - I'm kind of scared. They've gone very quiet. - Yeah. 673 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:21,920 Jesus Christ. I think I just stared at the same fish for the whole time. 674 00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:27,200 So you have 10 seconds to answer. 675 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,560 We're starting with Kura. - Snapper. 676 00:41:29,560 --> 00:41:31,720 - Correct. - Kina. - Correct. 677 00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:33,400 - Kahawai. - Correct. 678 00:41:33,400 --> 00:41:35,280 - Orange Roughy. - Correct. 679 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,240 - Gemfish. - Correct. 680 00:41:37,240 --> 00:41:38,920 - Pipi. - Correct. 681 00:41:38,920 --> 00:41:41,000 - Stargazer. - Correct. 682 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:43,040 - Ghost Shark. - Correct. 683 00:41:43,040 --> 00:41:44,800 - Oh. Cockle. - Correct. 684 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,800 - John Dory. - Correct. 685 00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:49,320 - Paua. - Correct. 686 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:51,120 - Bluff oyster. - Correct. 687 00:41:51,120 --> 00:41:53,120 - Red fish? - Incorrect. 688 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,200 Get in the shed, mate. 689 00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:04,080 - Paul. - Blue cod. - Correct. 690 00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,840 - Green muscle. - Correct. 691 00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,120 - Hoki? - Correct. 692 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,440 - Red mackerel. - Incorrect. 693 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,960 - Can you just read back all the ones we've done? - I can't, sorry. 694 00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,960 Oh. Is pipi on there? 695 00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:26,720 - It's already been said. - OK. Can I have another go? 696 00:42:26,720 --> 00:42:28,800 No. To the shed, please. 697 00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,360 Josh. - Moki. - Correct. 698 00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:37,000 That's what I had. 699 00:42:38,520 --> 00:42:40,720 Just like... Nemo? 700 00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,600 Incorrect. 701 00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:52,080 Kura and Josh have actually technically done the same amount. 702 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,080 So, Josh, one more. 703 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,080 Yeah, one more, Josh. 704 00:42:57,120 --> 00:42:59,120 Lingfish. 705 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:02,840 Ling is correct. 706 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:09,120 All right, that's enough fish, everyone. Get down here and we'll cast your scores. 707 00:43:14,160 --> 00:43:16,640 That was one point for Chris, two points for Justine, 708 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:19,080 three points for Paul, four points for Kura, 709 00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,280 and five points for Josh Thomson. Well done, Josh. 710 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:23,960 So... 711 00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,640 Who does that mean took out our second episode? 712 00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:30,680 The winner of episode two is the winner of episode one ― 713 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,360 Josh Thomson. - Wow. There we go. 714 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:36,680 OK, OK! 715 00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:39,000 Josh Thomson, congratulations. 716 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:44,320 Go follow your nose, eyes, mouth and whatever body parts make up your five senses, 717 00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:47,120 and let yourself be overwhelmed. Away you go, son. 718 00:43:49,240 --> 00:43:51,240 Tonight, we've seen dramatic exits, 719 00:43:51,240 --> 00:43:53,400 some bickering over spilt milk, 720 00:43:53,400 --> 00:43:55,720 and the televisual first of someone 721 00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:58,320 reading 1000 numbers off a piece of paper. 722 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:05,800 But mostly, we've also seen that there can only be one winner of the second episode of Taskmaster, 723 00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,920 and that person is Josh Thomson! 724 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:11,840 Po marie, goodnight. We'll see you next week. 725 00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:19,800 Oh, no, he doesn't mind. 726 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:31,320 'Run a full marathon. Fastest wins.' 727 00:44:31,880 --> 00:44:33,880 Just kidding. 728 00:44:39,240 --> 00:44:41,240 What the (BLEEP!) is going on? 729 00:44:41,240 --> 00:44:44,320 This whole episode is going to be cut.