1 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,000 Ooh-hoo-hoo. 2 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:14,200 My name is Paul Williams. 3 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,640 Oh! 4 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,920 Kia or koutou. Welcome to the show known as Taskmasker. 5 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:42,920 It's the penultimate episode, but I am still the ultimate Jeremy Wells. 6 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:48,320 However, for the next wee while, you better sit up straight and call me the Taskmaster. 7 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,440 With only two episodes to go in the season, 8 00:00:52,440 --> 00:00:57,600 our five comedians are starting to show signs of zombie-like desperation ― 9 00:00:57,600 --> 00:00:59,880 shaking, foaming at the mouth, 10 00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:06,000 incoherent babbling about needing my head in golden statue form. 11 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:12,080 Only one will satisfy their urges, but let's enjoy them all while we still can. 12 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,280 Once again, they are Chris Parker,... 13 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:17,800 ...Josh Thomson,... 14 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:19,160 ...Justine Smith,... 15 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:20,600 Thank you. 16 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:22,600 ...Kura Forrester... 17 00:01:22,600 --> 00:01:25,880 ...and Paul Ego. 18 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:32,400 If they do turn full zombie, I know exactly who my number one human shield will be. 19 00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:38,440 Please welcome the first person I'd sacrifice, Paul Williams. 20 00:01:38,440 --> 00:01:43,440 Let's kick the show off, Paul. - We start, as always, with a prize task. 21 00:01:43,440 --> 00:01:47,320 This week ― the best baffling mystery. 22 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,120 - - OK. Let's see what mysteries you guys have brought in, 23 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:53,600 starting with Justine Smith. 24 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:59,080 OK, Taskmaster. Now, this week, I've brought in quite a natural kind of mystery. 25 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,400 It is a pot of dirt. 26 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:07,080 Now, OK, I now it's not overwhelming at first, but what is in this pot of dirt, Taskmaster? 27 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:13,960 Is it something beautiful? Is it something edible? Is it something smokable? I don't know. 28 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:17,320 Now, I know what you're thinking, cos I've learnt to read that face ― 29 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:20,080 that chiselled face that you could grate some cheese on those cheekbones ― 30 00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,960 I've learnt to read... 31 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:26,360 ...your face a little bit, and while you're thinking, 'This is just a pot of dirt,' 32 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:29,200 you know, potentially, I could've done a little bit better, 33 00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:33,400 but then by last week, the way you scored the doppelgangers, when mine was clearly the best, 34 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:40,400 I thought, oh well, I'll just bring in a pot of dirt. 35 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:43,280 Josh, what did you bring in? 36 00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:46,960 Well, I thought you did a great job of the judging of the doppelgangers, to be honest. 37 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,760 - Well, when I was a child, 38 00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:55,360 my favourite doll was a Boba Fett action man thing from Star Wars. 39 00:02:55,360 --> 00:03:00,360 Boba Fett wasn't actually that one, because I lost him. This is the packet I got it in, though. 40 00:03:00,360 --> 00:03:04,040 I remember I was playing in a paddock next to a trough. 41 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,040 And here's the paddock here. 42 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,640 And I remember burying him, and then I got told to come in cos it was dark. 43 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:14,760 And I was really distraught, cos the next day, I couldn't find him. I was digging up, and I couldn't find him. 44 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:17,280 And then I kinda forgot about Boba. 45 00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:24,400 Kenner, who made the Boba Fett doll, made a range that had a rocket that would fire out of thebackpack. 46 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,640 They made it for only a very, very small amount of time, 47 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:30,760 because children may or may not have choked on the rocket. 48 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,080 So they discontinued it. 49 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:38,160 I specifically remember being able to fire a rocket out of this Boba Fett. 50 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:46,280 Now, a Boba Fett doll that has a firing rocket last year sold for US$225,000. 51 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,840 Oof. 52 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:51,720 So, somewhere in that paddock... 53 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,840 ...is US$250,000. 54 00:03:56,040 --> 00:04:01,840 The mystery here is why you think I would care about this. 55 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,440 Kura, what did you bring in? 56 00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:08,120 I think you'll agree I'm a great gal, right? 57 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,160 - Yeah, you're a great gal. - And so would my friends here. 58 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:12,080 - Sure, hard out. - Yeah, 100%. 59 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:13,800 - I'm funny. - Yep. - PAUL EGO: Yes. 60 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,560 - I live in Avondale. - Yes. - Whoo! 61 00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,560 - I got a good job. - Sure. 62 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,680 - Good boobs. - Good boobs. 63 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,880 Here's the mystery ― I ask you, why... 64 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,200 is she still single? 65 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:35,640 And so I present to you, and whoever wins tonight can take control of this, 66 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:37,840 my Bumble account. 67 00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,120 - Ohh. - Ahh. - Yeah. 68 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:45,640 For those of you who don't know, Bumble is an online dating, you know, thing. 69 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:50,360 So this is my profile. It says, 'Looking for something serious, but still fun. Ha-ha face.' 70 00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:55,440 My interests ― concerts, theatre, cafe-hopping, coffee and ambition. 71 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:59,160 - I'm intrigued by one of her interests being 'ambition'. - Yeah. 72 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:04,360 - 'What are you doing this weekend?' 'Being ambitious.' - Yes. 73 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:05,480 Chris, what did you bring in? 74 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:12,200 I've got something that I know is very important to someone in this cast. 75 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,240 And I've got a picture of it up here. 76 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:17,240 - It's a box. 77 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:21,960 I thought I could reveal it, but I think some mysteries are better left unsolved. 78 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:26,800 I'm scared, cos I-I recently watched the movie 'Se7en'. 79 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:29,160 Yeah, but you don't have a wife. 80 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:31,840 Well, not any more. 81 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,160 It's gonna be tricky to judge that one, Chris, but we'll move on to Paul. 82 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,840 OK, Taskmaster. During the week, and sometimes on the weekends, 83 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:45,640 I like to catch up with mates for a coffee. And sometimes they're close friends; sometimes they're family. 84 00:05:45,640 --> 00:05:48,280 So my question to you, my mystery is this ― 85 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:53,880 of all the people that I could choose to go and have a coffee with during the week or on theweekends, 86 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:59,480 why on Earth am I having coffee with your mum? 87 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:08,000 Why are you having coffee with my mum? 88 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,200 Oh, look, Sheryl and I catch up most weeks for a coffee and talk about, you know, 89 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,960 how proud we both are of how your career's gone and stuff like that. 90 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,360 We couldn't be prouder, to be honest. 91 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,160 I think the concerning thing is, and I think my father and my brother will agree with me onthis, 92 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,560 I've never seen her happier. 93 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,920 Time to judge. 94 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,320 One for your dirt, Justine. 95 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:32,840 - Two for your mysterious box, Chris. - Fine. 96 00:06:32,840 --> 00:06:35,080 Three for your Boba Fett, Josh. 97 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:39,320 Four for your Tinder mystery, which is a mystery, to be fair. - Thank you. 98 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,520 - And I'll give you five points for that, Paul. - Thank you. 99 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:46,160 A lot of effort went into that. Making my mother smile ― not easy. 100 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:50,000 OK, Paul, at least solve one mystery for me ― are we going to have another task? 101 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:54,680 We are. I can feel it in the wind. This task is au naturel. 102 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,960 Hi, Paul. 103 00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:06,880 Oh! 104 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,360 - Have you ever killed anyone in here? - Uh-uh. 105 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,240 Ooh! What if something's in here? 106 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,560 Ooh! 107 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:21,960 'Become one with nature.' 108 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,240 'Fastest wins.' 109 00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:25,320 'Your time starts now.' 110 00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,080 Am I gonna shit in the woods? Is that what you want? 111 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:39,960 - Do you want me to stop the clock? - We could get better, couldn't we? Let's go. Let's go outside. 112 00:07:40,840 --> 00:07:46,560 It sounds simple. Let's see some botany boobies or bum wees. Paul, who's first? 113 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:52,760 One of them has 'forest' in her last name; the other has forests on every shirt he owns. 114 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,760 It's Kura and Paul. 115 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:59,520 Oh, there's so much nature. Which nature shall I become one with, though? 116 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,520 Natural things. 117 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,200 This isn't very fast. 118 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,000 What's better ― to be fast or good? 119 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,800 Oh, this is good. This is a good sort of setting. 120 00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,360 We've got a good bit of climbing ability here. I hope I just don't hurt my Crocs. 121 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,080 - Do you know the song 'Natural Woman'? - Mm-hm. 122 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,120 Could you sing it for me? 123 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:26,520 - That's beautiful. - # ...woman. ♪ 124 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:28,520 I am Groot. 125 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,720 It's a movie reference. - Uh-huh. 126 00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:34,200 This represents earth, sea, 127 00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:36,440 air, sky. 128 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,160 How do I become one with it? 129 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:43,160 Finished. - Stop the clock? - Yeah. 130 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,760 - So you want me to stop the clock? - Hang on. Just give me a minute. 131 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,240 I'm just soaking up the sound of the cicadas. - Thought you were weeing. 132 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,160 Well, I'm doing that as― You didn't need to mention that. 133 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,880 - Thank you, Kura. - Sorry for the mess. - That's OK. 134 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,400 There are so many sticks up me. 135 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,560 How am I gonna explain that at home? 136 00:08:58,560 --> 00:09:04,440 'Why have you got twigs in your pants?' 'Oh, I had sex with an old broom.' 137 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,320 - Paul, you climbed a tree. - Yeah, quite high too. 138 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,800 - The Crocs came in handy ― again. - They did. They blended in beautifully with the tree. 139 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,880 And great sp― You see how high― how quickly I got up to that height? 140 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,840 That was cos of the cushioning in the Croc. That's why a lot of mountain climbers wear them. 141 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,160 Hillary had Crocs on ― Edmund Hillary. 142 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:26,360 Yeah. 143 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:31,240 You could hear him going up, just... 144 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:37,760 How long did Paul take to climb the tree? 145 00:09:37,760 --> 00:09:42,480 So, Paul claimed to be one with nature in three minutes and 24 seconds. 146 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:44,840 Yeah, I get in the zone quite quick. 147 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,680 - And what about Kura? - Kura ― 4.57. 148 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:52,800 OK. Any more nature, Paul? And remember, we are looking for the fastest time here, aren't we? 149 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:57,200 Well, that's the good thing about nature ― there will always be more of it, no matter whatwe do. 150 00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:59,200 Enjoy. 151 00:10:10,680 --> 00:10:13,560 - Do you feel one with nature? - I do. 152 00:10:14,640 --> 00:10:16,640 What are you doing? 153 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:24,960 I feel really relaxed, actually. 154 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,360 I've got the warm grass. I've got clouds. 155 00:10:28,680 --> 00:10:30,040 Pfffft! 156 00:10:30,040 --> 00:10:32,640 - Time. - Stop the clock? - Yeah. 157 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,480 - Were you one with nature? - Oh, I was a goose. 158 00:10:36,480 --> 00:10:40,520 - Bit me on the arm. - Yeah, well... It's very natural, isn't it? 159 00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,000 You think the Taskmaster will accept that? 160 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,200 If the Taskmaster doesn't like it... 161 00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:48,600 - You'll give him some sticks. - I'll... stick it to him. 162 00:10:48,600 --> 00:10:52,200 - You think anyone will top that? - Well,... 163 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:57,600 all they'd have to do would be take off all their clothes and hop in there. 164 00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:00,480 # Only the crumbliest, 165 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,880 Oh, that's the song from the Flake ad. - I don't know that ad. 166 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:09,440 - I'm one with nature, though. - I'll stop the clock. 167 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:11,880 - Yeah. Have you got any undies? - No, sorry. 168 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,760 OK. It's gonna be an uncomfortable drive home. 169 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,720 - Do you think anyone will beat this? - It'll be annoying if someone does. 170 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,080 Oh, did... 171 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:22,560 did someone shit in the woods? 172 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,880 So gross in there! 173 00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:27,880 Well done, mate. 174 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:32,320 - Josh, of course, that lake has been dubbed 'Poo Lake'. - Yeah. 175 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,480 - Correct, yep. - Was it dubbed 'Poo Lake' before or after you went into it? 176 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:39,480 There was a lot of gross... 177 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:44,600 duck, goose, other effluent from the farms nearby. - So much. 178 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:49,400 There was I'm pretty sure an eel. Someone said there was, like, some carp, those koi. 179 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,480 And I saw, like, an orange flash ― 180 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:56,120 I thought you were in there for one second; there was, like, a thing swimming past me ― 181 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:57,760 - # Da, da. # - Aargh! 182 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,080 How were the times? 183 00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:04,800 - So, Chris became a goose in two minutes and 13 seconds. - Quick to be a goose. 184 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:10,320 Justine incredibly managed to lie on the ground in one minute flat. 185 00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:15,320 Very quick. Josh ― eight minutes and 20 seconds. 186 00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,360 Well, I think when we come to score this, I think it's fair to say Josh was definitely... 187 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:21,960 - Yep. - ...the most at one with nature. - OK. 188 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,320 - For sure. - So I think you should get five points for that, Josh, 189 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:28,400 even though your time was the longest. And then I thinking timing from then on. 190 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,640 - The time for the rest? - I think so. 191 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:34,520 So that would be one point for Kura, two for Paul, three for Chris, and four for Justine. 192 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:45,840 Time for the most natural thing in the television kingdom ― an ad break. Enjoy it, and we'll beback soon. 193 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:54,880 Welcome back to the full-body experience that is Taskmaster. 194 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:58,720 Before we dive into another task, who is out in front? 195 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:03,280 - Josh Thomson with eight points. - Very good. 196 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,680 Well, I'd like to see another task, please. 197 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:10,760 This task is the most important task of the day. Bon appetit. 198 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,920 Whoo! Positive! 199 00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:21,160 A positive man. What's happening, Paul? 200 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:24,200 Hey, P Willy. You're lookin' nice today. Is that a new jacket? 201 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,640 - Uh, no, same jacket. - It's the same jacket. 202 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:32,240 What's it gonna say? Fill up this box. Fastest fill wins. 203 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:35,320 Lucky I'm not writing the tasks, eh, Paul? 204 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:38,680 'Create and advertise an amazing new cereal.' 205 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,160 'Best new cereal wins.' 206 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:41,800 'You have one hour.' 207 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:46,080 'Your time starts noooooooow.' 208 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,320 OK. It's gotta be yum. 209 00:13:48,680 --> 00:13:50,920 What textures do you like in cereal? 210 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:55,040 - Honestly, that's none of your beeswax. - Beeswax? 211 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:59,720 Who eats cereal? Kids, really. Stoned people at night. Mine's gonna be for kids. 212 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,720 I need, like, 20 bucks. 213 00:14:02,400 --> 00:14:04,760 - OK. - I'm gonna put it in the box. 214 00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:07,160 None of yer beeswax. I think that's what we'll call it. 215 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:11,880 And then we'll get Mike McRoberts or whoever to be like, 'It's none of your beeswax, but it ismine.' 216 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,320 This is gonna be good, you see. It's what a lot of people forget about ― honey. 217 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:21,000 You know, they think it's just to lure bears into your house for sex, but it's not. It'snot. 218 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:25,880 Every box contains 20 to 50 bucks. But it only costs $1.50. 219 00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:29,280 - Wow. - That's amazing, right? 220 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,800 What do you think about big men and milk? 221 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,800 - Me? - Mm. 222 00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:35,000 Yeah, it's good. 223 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,680 We'll seal that up with something, you know. 224 00:14:36,680 --> 00:14:40,480 This might be a good chance to use the honey I was talking about just as a... 225 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,200 you know, it becomes, like, a natural wax, like a sealing― 226 00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,840 You can use your finger to just sorta seal the join. 227 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:47,840 Amazing part. 228 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:52,760 And my cereal's gonna be called Sugar Boogers, and they're gonna be like snot. The ki― 229 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:57,360 Why is everything I do a bit gross? I should do something nice. 230 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:59,400 No, I'm afraid it's gonna be Sugar Boogers. 231 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,880 Do you like honey? 232 00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:07,720 Don't tell anyone. 233 00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:10,640 We're filming this. 234 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:17,640 Kura, I'm no Steve Jobs, but I'm just thinking, so, you've got a product there ― 235 00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:22,640 you're giving away $20 inside of your cereal. Your product's gonna be $1.50. 236 00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:24,520 Seems a little fraught. 237 00:15:24,520 --> 00:15:26,520 How so? 238 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,560 You're losing $18.50 per box. 239 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,520 Oh, yeah, no, I'm just a creator. 240 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:36,760 Somebody else is gonna worry about that when it gets manufactured. Yeah, yeah. 241 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,840 No, don't worry about it. 242 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,440 OK. We've got five brand-new cereals. 243 00:15:43,440 --> 00:15:45,800 Personally, I never thought it was the most important meal of the day, 244 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,680 but I'm ready to have my mind changed. Who's first? 245 00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,480 He was named after cornflakes. It's Chris P. 246 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:57,120 - What would you like to eat, son? - None of Yer Beeswax. 247 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:01,440 - Excuse your fucking mouth! - No, it's a cereal. It's the name of the cereal. 248 00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,520 Of course. How dumb of me. 249 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:10,160 None of Your Beeswax is the cereal with the nutritional value people say is none of you beeswax. 250 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:14,280 But don't take our word for it. Here's what our celebrity influencers have to say about it. 251 00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,120 It's none of your beeswax. 252 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:17,760 But it's all mine. 253 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,600 I love... 254 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,280 ...None of Your Beeswax cereal. 255 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,520 How does it taste? 256 00:16:21,520 --> 00:16:23,920 Tastes like... none of yer beeswax. 257 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:28,200 Excuse your fucking mouth! Oh, I'm sorry. I get it. 258 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:41,800 None of Yer Beeswax. It's none of your beeswax, but it is mine. 259 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:49,680 Oh man. The barely contained physical abuse is such a great way to connect with household shoppers. 260 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:52,800 Mm. Parents will be like, 'I'm fuckin' buying that.' 261 00:16:52,800 --> 00:16:58,120 I honestly thought 'genius', because the milk came in a box in a little bag. 262 00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:02,040 - Was that―? Was that breast milk? - No, it'smilkmilk. 263 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,760 Why would it be breast milk? - JUSTINE: What is wrong with you? - Cos it was, like, yellow. 264 00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:07,480 That's what breast milk― You store it― - No, cos it's, like, honey-themed. 265 00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:09,760 Oh right. Cos you store breast milk in a pouch. 266 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:13,440 Josh, they're called breasts. 267 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,000 Oh 268 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:18,160 Whose amazing new cereal have you got next for us, Paul? 269 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:22,880 With a new cereal for breakfasters on a budget, it's Kura Forrester. 270 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,760 Hi. Are you poor but love healthy breakfasts? 271 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,800 Do you love a breakfast that costs under $2? 272 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:34,000 Then you need to try the amazing new Paupers Grain. 273 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,120 Do you like deez nuts or are you a pussy? 274 00:17:37,120 --> 00:17:42,520 Because this is chock-full or delicious healthy nuts, rolled oats, chocolate, 275 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:47,800 but also, it has an amazing surprise right inside every box. 276 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:53,240 You won't be hungry for the rest of the day until night-time, and then you can just have it for dinner. 277 00:17:53,240 --> 00:17:56,320 Try it. Paupers Grain. Yummy, yummy. 278 00:17:56,520 --> 00:18:00,280 - Paupers Grain. - Pauper. 279 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:03,880 - That name again, please. - Paupers Grain. 280 00:18:05,120 --> 00:18:07,520 For poor people. - No, I know! 281 00:18:07,640 --> 00:18:11,720 Is it a bad...? Is it a bad word? I thought it was like Mary Poppins. 282 00:18:11,720 --> 00:18:16,480 It's not a bad word. It's not a word that you hear bandied about a lot these days. 283 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,840 - Yeah, well― Yeah. - They kind of― They dropped it out when Oliver Twist grew up. 284 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:20,880 Yeah. 285 00:18:20,880 --> 00:18:24,240 Well, I couldn't call it Poor People's Grain. 286 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:29,200 - Well, that's essentially what you've done. - You kind of did, though. 287 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:33,840 I mean, I reckon it'll shift some units; there's no doubt about that. But is it sustainable? 288 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,040 Yes. 289 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:38,160 I told you ― somebody in, uh,... 290 00:18:38,160 --> 00:18:40,160 finance is gonna... 291 00:18:40,520 --> 00:18:42,520 suss it out. 292 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,280 That has convinced me 293 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:48,760 Whose amazing new cereal do you have for us next, Paul? 294 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,760 It's not Just Right; it's Justine. 295 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:02,360 # Sugar Booga. 296 00:19:33,040 --> 00:19:36,160 Ingredients ― low-protein salt, stevia, maize, cornstarch, wheat, soy, sodium phosphate... 297 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,960 - So good, Juzzie. - Oh yeah. 298 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,560 - Yes! - Oh yeah! 299 00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:49,560 It is hard seeing the kids not be down with your hipness. 300 00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,680 It's hard to be this cool at 53 and a white woman from Christchurch, Jeremy. 301 00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:58,240 I mean, and some of the audience out there will remember Robert D Frogg ― drips waste water. 302 00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,800 That took me back to that. Or maybe the Chickadees ad. - OK...? 303 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,080 Nobody else will remember that. 304 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:10,360 He grew up when people were still saying 'pauper'. 305 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:13,960 Well, we've tried some of the oldest tricks in the sales book, 306 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:20,160 including aggressively yelling at you, promising free money, and likening its flavour to boogers. 307 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:25,440 How do the pros do it? Well, we'll see you after this. 308 00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:32,760 Welcome back to Taskmaster, 309 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,960 where not for the first time this season, we've got a real-life mum up for grabs. 310 00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:39,720 What the hell is happening now, though, Paul? 311 00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:43,680 We're dipping our toes into the lucrative breakfast cereal market. 312 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:47,040 Our comedians have been making and advertising their own. 313 00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:52,200 We've seen Sugar Boogas, Paupers Grain and one more that I'm not gonna say the name of, 314 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:56,160 because, honestly, it's none of your beeswax. - ...none of your beeswax. 315 00:20:56,160 --> 00:21:00,440 Excuse your fuckin' mouth! 316 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:07,000 - Who else do we have to see, Paul? - He's the toast of Devonport. It's Paul Ego. 317 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:09,440 Ah. Mornings in the forest. I love them. 318 00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:12,560 Smelling the honey out here, the vanilla, the oats, 319 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:18,320 all the naturally occurring smells that I love to shove into my face every morning at breakfast time. 320 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:23,200 And now you can too with Paul Ego's new Vanilla Hunna Noats. 321 00:21:23,360 --> 00:21:28,120 Naturally occurring honey ― there's nothing quite like it. 322 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:29,800 It's very sweet. 323 00:21:29,800 --> 00:21:35,120 One of the great things about Vanilla Hunna Noats is the entire box is sealed with honey, 324 00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,720 such a beautiful natural adhesive. 325 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,280 And cereal bowls ― you won't even need them. 326 00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:47,440 The good thing about the Hunna Noats is you can enjoy them... 327 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,520 ...straight from the box. 328 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:55,520 Just simply pour the milk directly into the box of Hunna Noats and just enjoy them straight out. 329 00:21:55,520 --> 00:22:01,400 Paul Ego's Vanilla Hunna Noats ― just a fantastic way to start the day the natural way. 330 00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,400 Vanilla Hunna Noats. 331 00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:05,120 Mmm. 332 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,320 No wonder bears love them. 333 00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:14,480 - That was very good. - Thank you. 334 00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,200 They actually were quite delicious, yeah. 335 00:22:17,200 --> 00:22:19,080 What was in Hunna Noats? 336 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:23,920 There was a lot of, um― well, oats, obviously and a lot of hunna, 337 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:30,400 uh, which is a natural product very much like honey but with hummus also added. 338 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,160 Everything suddenly feels sticky. 339 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:38,440 But I'd like to see one more, please, Paul. - It's Josh Thomson. 340 00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:39,960 Raw oats. 341 00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,240 Golden popcorn. 342 00:22:41,240 --> 00:22:42,360 Shredded coconut. 343 00:22:42,360 --> 00:22:43,600 Pieces of apricot. 344 00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:45,560 Hand-hulled pistachios. 345 00:22:45,560 --> 00:22:46,880 Mustachios. 346 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,560 The genderless cereal ― for now. 347 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,720 Whatever genitals you got, try it. 348 00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,960 It's the flavour of now. 349 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,960 Well, all right! 350 00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:02,480 - What was that last bit? - Oh, I was kinda just thinking of cool things to say. 351 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:04,960 I said, 'Well, all right.' - Oh! K. 352 00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:10,640 - Well, all right! - Is that, like, the catchphrase? - Yeah, I thought it... Yep. 353 00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:11,760 Mustachios. 354 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:12,760 Well, all right! 355 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,480 That would've been one of the better takes. - Sorry. 356 00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,560 It's OK. 357 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:22,000 But all jokes aside, if this gets picked up, is that my copyright? - Yeah. 358 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:24,000 Well, all right! 359 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,240 - Well, all right! - All right! 360 00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,160 Well, all right! 361 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:34,480 I thought Intolerance Man's catchphrase, 'Yeah!' was good. 362 00:23:34,480 --> 00:23:39,160 But 'Well, all right!' probably betters it. 363 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,280 - It was really funny in your voice. - Yeah, the way you said it was really good. 364 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:46,480 Well, all right! 365 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,640 It's a great way to sort of change subject or something. 366 00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:53,160 Like, you know, if you're visiting relatives and... - Oh my God. 367 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:58,920 ...someone says something casually racist, leave a big pause and then go, 'Well, all right!' 368 00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:08,240 There have been two great things that have emerged out of this task. It's the 'Well, all right!'... 369 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:13,240 - - ... and Chris'... - Excuse your fuckin' mouth! 370 00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:17,000 - Which would also work well with the racism angle too. - Yeah, absolutely. 371 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:19,000 Oh my God. Oh! 372 00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,520 I think someone's had too many Sugar Boogas. 373 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,600 I wanna give everyone maximum points, but I don't think that's kinda fair, 374 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,680 and I've been doing too much of that probably. 375 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:33,800 So, I'm not a big fan of eating boogers, so I'll give one to Justine. 376 00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:36,280 What?! 377 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,520 - Oop. - Well, all right! 378 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:48,920 I'll go two points for Chris. Three points for Josh and the 'Well, all right!' 379 00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:53,040 And I'll go four points ― yours actually looked quite nice, Paul. - Thank you. 380 00:24:53,040 --> 00:24:56,480 And five points for Kura, cos who doesn't want 20 bucks in their cereal? 381 00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,360 Thank you! 382 00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:03,320 What is our overall scoreboard doing, Paul? 383 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:08,720 In first equal, both on 11, it's Josh and Paul. 384 00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:13,880 OK, Paul, dip your little spoon into the bowl of tasks and slurp off the milk 385 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,120 and present me another one, please. 386 00:25:16,120 --> 00:25:22,520 Here's a task that hopefully none of our contestants have ever done before. 387 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,720 Oh! 388 00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:31,320 That's a bit CSI cadaver. 389 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:33,120 Where's Paul? 390 00:25:33,120 --> 00:25:34,760 Paul? 391 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,760 P Willy, is this you? 392 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:38,920 Is this who I think it is? 393 00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:42,200 'Hide this body.' 394 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,560 'The body that stays hidden the longest wins.' 395 00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:48,320 'Detective Paul will start searching in 15 minutes.' 396 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,240 'Time starts now.' 397 00:25:50,240 --> 00:25:51,840 Aw. 398 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,880 I feel like this might be my old mate Lucy. 399 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,280 Consuela. 400 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:57,280 Yes, my friend. 401 00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,600 Aw. Gorothia. 402 00:26:00,520 --> 00:26:02,000 Oh no. Is this Tony? 403 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,840 Aw. 404 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,280 Not what you deserved. 405 00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,200 I think I might put her in the roof. 406 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:11,400 Or in the shed ― that's really obvious. 407 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:12,880 Let's go. 408 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:14,880 Why are you all wet? 409 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:21,840 Now, before we go too far with this task, I did notice something unusual with you in that one, Chris. 410 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:25,000 You were, um, quite wet. - Yeah, pretty wet for this challenge. 411 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,600 - Was there any reason for that, Paul? - Yes. 412 00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:30,560 So, basically, there was a hidden task in the house. 413 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,560 - Anyone could've found it. 414 00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:38,320 It took several weeks, but eventually, Chris found it while he was shooting his superheromovie. 415 00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,320 Here's a video of him finding it dressed as the goose. - What? 416 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:44,320 I need, like, a... 417 00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,280 I'll use this. I don't know whose this is. 418 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:55,440 I found a task. 419 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:03,600 'Do one of your tasks completely wet. 420 00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:06,800 'If you complete the task wet, you win. 421 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:11,440 'Your time starts when you show up to your task...' 422 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,480 Not yet, but I'm gonna do this. 423 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:18,520 I saw that task under that duck. 424 00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:20,920 OK, so just reiterate what's happened there, Paul. 425 00:27:20,920 --> 00:27:24,680 The task was very simple ― perform a task wet, completely wet. 426 00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:30,280 - And did you perform the task completely wet, Chris? - I was sodden. 427 00:27:30,640 --> 00:27:33,720 - So, then Chris gets an extra five points. - Ka-ching! 428 00:27:33,720 --> 00:27:36,040 - Simple. 429 00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:39,800 And that's what happens when you go through people's drawers. 430 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:46,000 It's the reality TV show TVNZ has always wanted to make ― Hide Your Best Friend's Body. 431 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:49,080 Whose corpse disposal do we get to see first, Paul? 432 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:54,280 Their besties will be remembered for their infectious personalities, hatred of parkour 433 00:27:54,280 --> 00:28:01,360 and love of heroin. Here's Justine disposing of Lucy and Paul disposing of Consuela. 434 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:14,320 If he comes round this side, he'll see it. Where wouldn't someone look for a body? 435 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,560 - Hello. - I got such a fright. 436 00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,640 That looks pretty thick over there. 437 00:28:24,760 --> 00:28:30,480 - Hey, what are you doing? - I'm just... I'm just... just looking for things. 438 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:32,040 Stay in there, Paul. - OK. 439 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,720 Drag it deeper into the forest. 440 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:37,880 It's a lot of work getting rid of a body. I don't know what... 441 00:28:37,880 --> 00:28:41,320 - There are things in here if you― - No, I've got things out here, thank you. 442 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:43,800 - What? What was that? 443 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:48,680 Go back into the house to act natural. 444 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:52,800 OK. Think that's hidden. 445 00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:04,040 Oh! 446 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:07,000 Stop the clock. 447 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,880 9m from where I was. 448 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,760 It's a bold tactic, but it hasn't come off. 449 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:14,040 In the first place I looked. 450 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:18,960 How long did it take you to find that? 451 00:29:18,960 --> 00:29:23,040 So, I found Justine's best friend in 52 seconds. 452 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,600 I was so smug about that. 453 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:30,080 I was like, yeah, he's never finding that. 454 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,080 It was metres away from where he was. 455 00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:36,480 I consistently checked under the caravan first for all of them, except for Paul, 456 00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:41,320 who I checked behind the shed, because I could hear him hiding the body there. 457 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:47,080 So, I found Paul's best friend in 44 seconds. 458 00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:51,040 - I didn't know you were in the shed. - No. 459 00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:55,040 I was literally behind the shed going, 'I'm going to hide it here in the forest...' 460 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:57,920 '...behind the shed.' 461 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,360 And Paul's going, 'Right, well, I'll write that down.' 462 00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,280 Right, we're gonna take a short ad break 463 00:30:02,280 --> 00:30:07,600 over which Paul Williams will be emitting and sustaining a noise with his mouth. 464 00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,080 We'll see you after the break. 465 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:17,600 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 466 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:27,840 Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... 467 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,400 - Thank you, Paul. - ...hhhhhh. 468 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:35,040 Welcome back to Taskmaster and our mystery murder and mother episode. 469 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:37,560 What criminal acts are we in the midst of now, Paul? 470 00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:43,200 Our comedians have been asked to hide the best friends that they made in episode eight. 471 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:47,040 Whoever's best friend can stay hidden for the longest wins. 472 00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:49,880 Which deranged cadaver-disposer do we get to see next? 473 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:53,320 Their friends will be remembered for their laid-back attitudes, 474 00:30:53,320 --> 00:31:00,320 love of the high sea and lack of clothing. It's Kura with Gorothia and Josh with Tony. 475 00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:12,920 Have you seen a body? 476 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,920 That way? 477 00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:23,760 - Pretty close. - I'mpretty close? 478 00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:26,240 You're hot... 479 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:27,760 physically. 480 00:31:33,880 --> 00:31:35,680 Lukewarm. 481 00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:36,880 I don't think it's up there. 482 00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:40,320 It's quite nice, this ― finally not being the one in the dark. 483 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:41,760 Did you leave the property? 484 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:42,520 All the information... 485 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:43,840 ...you need are in the task. 486 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,440 Oh, it feels so good to say that. 487 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,440 Yas! 488 00:31:48,520 --> 00:31:50,840 Oh, I wouldn't― I wouldn't look in there. 489 00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,040 - Why? - You might be upset. 490 00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,480 I heard someone running on gravel,... 491 00:31:58,040 --> 00:32:00,040 ...so that's why I'm searching the gravel. 492 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,840 I am upset, cos it wasn't in there. 493 00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,640 There's something on the deck. 494 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:14,080 I want you to know that I'll never stop looking. - OK. 495 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,960 But I am gonna have a break. 496 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:20,240 I'm enjoying this. 497 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:28,080 Hello. 498 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,920 It's Paul Williams here. 499 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,000 It's Monday the 4th of April at 2.35pm 500 00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,240 in the year 2022. 501 00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:40,880 I was just about to leave for the day when I decided to do one last check of the woods. 502 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:42,880 And I found something. 503 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,000 Recognise that face anywhere. 504 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 It's Tony. 505 00:32:57,640 --> 00:32:59,640 Stop the clock. 506 00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:09,600 When we're not filming tasks, I've continued my hunt to find bodies. And I think I've just found one. 507 00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,200 It's Gorothia. 508 00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,520 She deserved a burial at sea. 509 00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,600 I loved the subterfuge. I loved the scraping with the gravel. 510 00:33:33,600 --> 00:33:37,040 Yeah, I lost my mind. I found you in the shed, so I was trying to do these distraction things. 511 00:33:37,040 --> 00:33:41,240 I also buried the sack somewhere else in the forest. Did you find that? 512 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,760 I did, and I got very excited. 513 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:48,360 I... I saw a bit of it, and I went and got a camera person and was like, 'Come. I've found one.' 514 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,440 And they were like, 'OK.' 515 00:33:50,760 --> 00:33:53,520 Just a sack. - Oh, far out. - Yeah, Josh. 516 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:59,280 So I began searching for Josh's best friend at 5.57 on a Thursday. 517 00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:03,280 And the remains were found the following Monday at 2.35. 518 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:07,000 A total of three days, 20 hours and 21 minutes. 519 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:09,840 Oh my gosh. 520 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:15,960 And I obviously had to film that myself, because it was actually the last day of tasks at the house, 521 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:22,560 and the camera guys had left, and I was like, 'I'm stickin' around.' 522 00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:27,560 - And what about Kura? - Kura hid Gorothia at 4.34 on a Sunday. 523 00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:31,560 I found Gorothia on a Wednesday morning two weeks later. 524 00:34:31,560 --> 00:34:37,720 - Oh, great! - Yes, for a total time of nine days, 16 hours and eight minutes. 525 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:39,640 - Great. - Yes. 526 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:41,160 - Shot, Ku. - Amazing. 527 00:34:41,160 --> 00:34:46,880 Well, there's one more 'ami-cider' amongst us, a Cain to their Abel. Who is it, Paul? 528 00:34:46,880 --> 00:34:51,280 Disposing of his beloved Sacky, it's Chris Parker. 529 00:34:53,200 --> 00:34:55,200 It's... 530 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,320 It's Sacky! 531 00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,560 Who's got a car? Let's get this body out of here. 532 00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:01,600 Come on! Come on! Do you have the keys? 533 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,600 Let's go, brother. 534 00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:34,600 Body. 535 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:37,200 If I was a body, where would I be? 536 00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:46,760 - So, have you found it yet? - I haven't. I was certain he put that body in the lake. 537 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:48,000 I don't know why. 538 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:51,640 Well, Paul kept calling me on the drive home being like, 'Where is it?' 539 00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:55,640 And I kept telling him, 'Check the lake.' 540 00:35:55,640 --> 00:36:01,280 Paul quite inappropriately text my younger sister who was working on set and started harassing her. 541 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,960 So I think we've got a message of that up here. 542 00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,920 'Do you have any bodies lying around the house?' Kind of weird. 543 00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:14,840 So then I thought I'd have a bit more fun, and I managed to break into Paul's personal bedroom 544 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,560 and hide some clues in his wardrobe. 545 00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:22,560 Sacky's tag there. 546 00:36:22,880 --> 00:36:25,480 Paul, have you found Sacky yet? 547 00:36:25,480 --> 00:36:27,480 I have not. 548 00:36:35,320 --> 00:36:37,320 Oh my God. 549 00:36:45,080 --> 00:36:49,880 - All the information you need is on the task. - Yeah! 550 00:36:54,920 --> 00:36:57,920 It's Sacky. 551 00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,680 - What a baffling mystery! - Look at it! 552 00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,880 I guess Sacky's appeared now, so how does that mean we're gonna score this? 553 00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:12,080 Well, I'll stop the clock for Chris to begin with. 554 00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:18,160 Chris' body was hidden for a total of 72 days and six minutes. 555 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:22,280 - Wow. - Which means one point for Paul, two for Justine, 556 00:37:22,280 --> 00:37:29,360 three for Josh, four for Kura, and five points for Chris Parker. - There you go. Well done, everyone. 557 00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:33,720 Let's jump off this roller coaster of emotion and go sit on the log flume ride of ad breaks 558 00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:39,440 to gather ourselves, wet our faces and come back for our second-to-last live task of the season. 559 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:43,440 We'll see you in a moment. 560 00:37:49,320 --> 00:37:55,640 Welcome back to Taskmaster, where we're in mourning for the loss of five very good best friends 561 00:37:55,640 --> 00:38:01,360 as well as giddily awaiting another task. But first, what's our episode score looking like, Paul? 562 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:07,760 Out in first place with 17 points, it's Chris Parker. 563 00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,280 All right, you homicidal maniacs. 564 00:38:10,280 --> 00:38:15,760 Take your filthy mitts and mugs up on to the stage for our final live task of the night. 565 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:23,600 I see velvet curtains. I see pillows. I see comedians. 566 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,640 What's going on here, Paul, and who is gonna read the task? 567 00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:31,640 Reading the task, could we please have the soothing voice of Justine Smith? 568 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:34,480 'Defeat the other team at human war boats.' 569 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,200 Oh Jesus. 570 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:40,240 'Remaining in your field at all times, project your ballistic cushion over the wall 571 00:38:40,240 --> 00:38:45,080 'to hit the members of the other team. The other team must lay flat and still in their field. 572 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:49,240 'When hit, the player must yell, "You've sunk me," and vacate the field. 573 00:38:49,240 --> 00:38:54,840 'The team that clears the opponents' field in the fewest shots wins. Your time starts on Paul'swhistle.' 574 00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:59,160 We need another person, obviously, for Chris and Paul's team. 575 00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:04,560 Luckily we have recently acquired an extra person. 576 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:09,520 - Is everyone ready? - Think so. - Yeah. 577 00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,720 OK. And obviously no peeking from Paul and Chris. 578 00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:36,720 - Team of two, are you ready? - CHRIS: Yup. 579 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,760 Miss. 580 00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:43,880 Miss. 581 00:39:45,080 --> 00:39:46,800 Hit. 582 00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:48,800 You've sunk me. 583 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:52,320 Kura Forrester has been sunk. 584 00:39:54,640 --> 00:39:56,640 Miss. 585 00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,680 Miss. 586 00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,120 Ooh! 587 00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:07,560 Miss. 588 00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:16,160 Waste our throws! 589 00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:18,720 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! 590 00:40:19,280 --> 00:40:21,680 Miss. 591 00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:24,120 Miss. 592 00:40:26,680 --> 00:40:28,680 Miss. 593 00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:29,920 Miss. 594 00:40:29,920 --> 00:40:32,400 - Oh Jesus! - Jesus! - 595 00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:37,440 But listen to the crowd ― we're so close! 596 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:40,560 - Are you fucking with us? - Are you fucking with us? 597 00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,560 Oh... 598 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:47,280 They've probably all gone home. 599 00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:48,920 Ooh! 600 00:40:48,920 --> 00:40:50,920 - Miss. - Don't listen. 601 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:58,640 - Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss. - Oh! 602 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:04,480 - Ooh! - Miss. 603 00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,120 Miss. 604 00:41:12,280 --> 00:41:14,280 Hit. - You've sunk me. 605 00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:16,920 There is one boat remaining ― 606 00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,760 the HMS Josh. 607 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,160 Miss. 608 00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:25,400 Hit. 609 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:27,400 You've sunk me! 610 00:41:27,400 --> 00:41:29,400 What are we gonna do? 611 00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,360 On my whistle, team of three. 612 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,600 Miss. 613 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:51,640 I'm counting that as a miss. - Fair enough. 614 00:41:51,640 --> 00:41:53,640 Miss. 615 00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,040 Miss. 616 00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,680 - Ooh! - Miss. 617 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,000 Miss. 618 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,080 - Yes, Juzzie! 619 00:42:08,360 --> 00:42:09,680 Hit. 620 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,920 You sunk my battleship. 621 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:16,720 Miss. 622 00:42:18,040 --> 00:42:20,040 Miss. 623 00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:22,760 Miss. 624 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,320 Miss. 625 00:42:27,760 --> 00:42:29,760 Miss. - Actual? 626 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:34,560 Miss. 627 00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:37,160 Hit. 628 00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:38,240 I hit Sacky? 629 00:42:38,240 --> 00:42:41,080 - You've sunk me. - Yes! 630 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,960 He's kind of Cockney. 631 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,200 Miss. 632 00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:50,960 Ow. 633 00:42:50,960 --> 00:42:55,400 - Very much hit. - Yes! Whoo-hoo! 634 00:42:55,400 --> 00:42:58,080 - You have sunketh me. 635 00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:02,640 All right. Hop out of that battlefield and come on down to the war crimes trial. 636 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:06,240 That was fun. 637 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:10,200 Well― Well, played. 638 00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:13,480 So, what were the scores there? Who took it out? 639 00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:16,280 The team of two took 23 attempts. 640 00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:20,760 And the team of three took 16 attempts. - Oh, well done. 641 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:25,480 I think the winning team should get three points each, and I think the losing team should get two points. 642 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,400 I think that's fair. - Fair enough. Love it. 643 00:43:29,400 --> 00:43:31,360 So, where does that leave our scoreboard, Paul? 644 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:36,920 He can't be stopped. He's won five of the last six episodes. It's Chris Parker. 645 00:43:36,920 --> 00:43:39,920 - How do I...? 646 00:43:40,600 --> 00:43:42,960 Congratulations to Chris. 647 00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:48,640 Go and take Sacky and some of Justine's dirt and for goodness' sake just bloody bury it. 648 00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:58,560 And that's our show. It's been a show with stench ― the stench of the death of five best friends; 649 00:43:58,560 --> 00:44:04,120 the stench of burnt, boogered cereal; and the stench that's been in the studio for nine weeks now, 650 00:44:04,120 --> 00:44:09,760 which can only be described as a mix of Josh Thomson and Poo Lake juice. 651 00:44:09,760 --> 00:44:16,240 But tonight's overwhelming stench tells us that our winner of episode nine, season three of Taskmaster 652 00:44:16,240 --> 00:44:19,040 is Chris Parker. 653 00:44:19,040 --> 00:44:26,520 Thank you so much for watching. We'll see you next week for the final. Po marie. Goodnight. 654 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,960 Welcome to the final episode of Taskmaster. 655 00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:46,440 - Fuck! 656 00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:47,000 Aargh! 657 00:44:47,000 --> 00:44:48,240 Oh my God! 658 00:44:48,240 --> 00:44:53,960 Who will win this season and have their Wikipedia entry made just that little bit more impressive? 659 00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:57,120 Are you not entertained?! 660 00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:58,840 Yeah, I was entertained.