(phone ringing)
MAN #1: This is great. Really great.
- WOMAN: Yeah, Mm-hm. - MAN #1: Yeah.
And we've got a Black person here.
Mm-hm, and a BIPOC one.
Which kind?
Which kind of what?
Forgive me. Sorry. I didn't mean to suggest--
Oh, no, no, no. No worries. I mean, which kind of BIPOC?
'Cause I'm pretty sure the letters mean
- different things. - Ah, yes.
It is a bisexual person of colour. So, "bi-POC".
Glad we cleared that up.
So, we have some ethnicness here,
and some wheelchair action here.
Oh, you know what?
I have a cousin who's in a wheelchair actually.
So brave.
- Mm. - So brave.
Yeah.
But I think we need something else for this rebrand.
Something that just screams, "Yes, we are definitely not
an all white, cis college anymore."
- Yes, thank you. - Mm-hm.
White cis. That means anti-Semitism?
- You don't know what that is? - Oh, going to jump in here.
No, it's white, cis. Like cisgendered.
Oh, okay. Oh, my gosh. Forgive me. I'm sorry.
I really hope I was not mansplaining to you.
No, you have to get the explanation right
to call it mansplaining.
Yeah, well, disagree.
Hey, guys.
What about him?
- Oh, yeah. - I love this.
- That's cool. - That is a cool hat.
Uh, although, don't we already have another--
No, no. It's different, I think.
Mm, let's just not get them in the same shots, huh?
We don't want to send the wrong message.
(All laughing)
- Well, that is not okay. - Yeah, I was just laughing
- 'cause you're laugh is-- - Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Making me laugh.
Yeah, I'm gonna have to go to HR and talk about that.
Probably shouldn't have said that.
I have a great track record of being a good guy.
- Yeah, yeah. - Well, guys,
- I love it. - Great.
I think we've got our gang for our shoot.
- Amazing! - Super.
- Yeah. - Okay, so what are we
thinking with the parents?
♪
So what do you guys think?
Pretty cool, right?
Why are your teeth so white?
Jasmeet: Teeth are supposed to be white.
Neal: Yeah, but these are, like, white.
Not as white as their students.
You know Churchill's been on some elitist
whites-only bullshit, right?
Neal: Dude, it looks like your mouth was gentrified.
Like your real teeth are in a worse mouth now.
Did you guys not see the slogan?
It's not, "It's less colourful every day."
It's more. I'm the colour. I'm the change.
Yeah, because they got called out on their racist-ass bullshit
and they don't want to lose more money.
Yo, they're using you.
Whatever, I'll just use them right back.
Like, it's reverse exploitation.
Your mouth looks like a lineup of every US president
'til Obama.
Dude, look, they're not that white
and you keep calling me a sellout,
but I go out and get a whole citywide campaign on my own
without an agent.
No, you're right.
Look, that's awesome. Let's celebrate.
I don't know, I feel like I need to book more gigs
before I celebrate.
Bro, what? You need to celebrate every win
to get as much attention as possible.
Have you seen Mukbang Mikhail's stories?
Mukbang McWhat?
Mukbang Mikhail.
- Mukbang McCool? - Mike Hill McBang?
- You guys are way off. - What are you saying?
- I don't even-- - Mukbang Mikhail.
What is it? What is a mukbang macaque?
It's a-- What? Do you guys know anything about influencers?
- Michael. - Dude, he's always, like,
popping bottles and then he gets reposted by big pages,
then he reposts the repost. Dude, it's like this huge
repost orgy and everyone's getting laid.
You know, I'm actually with Neal on this.
Look, this is how you capitalize on them capitalizing on you.
We hit the club, we use your exploitation clout
to get more clout to get more followers,
Okay, I don't hate anything you guys are saying right now,
but where would we even go?
Someplace bougie with, like,
bathroom doors that actually lock.
Okay.
I think I know who can hook it up.
(Ringtone playing)
Yo, my guy. Just talking about you.
(Supinder speaking Punjabi)
Dude, is that my mom?
Are you at my house?
Yeah, bro. Saw your ad on a bus stop.
So, I jumped it to show your parents.
- How do you even know them? - Me and your dad go way back.
He gets his tires changed at my truck yard.
Jasmeet, are you back in school?
No, it's an ad campaign.
I got an honorarium.
He's on honour roll?
No. What? You know what? Yeah, I got paid.
Sunny, can you just reach out here real quick?
Say less, we need to go to Plush.
Ew. The place is disgusting.
You're chopped. Plush is fucking lit.
You know how many connects I got bouncing there?
Okay. I mean, like, you think you can get us in?
Guest list maybe?
Yeah. Basically, 100%.
Okay, so we're good?
You know who I am. It's done.
Like, I got to make a phone call, 100%.
Okay? So is it 100% or do you got to make a call?
No, don't worry about that. Like, I don't want to show up
and it's like we're not even--
I'll confirm with you tonight. It's done.
♪ I'm a boss, yeah, you know I get it ♪
I feel so weird in these clothes.
Yeah, 'cause you don't look like
a washed-up child actor for once.
Look how long this line is.
We're never going to get in at this point.
(groaning) Can't we just cut?
I don't know, man. Sunny still hasn't hit me up
about the guests list here.
Ooh, let's play a game.
Would you rather wait in this line
or have all your exes in the room
to watch your adult circumcision?
Ooh. That's a tough one because you know how I feel
about circumcision.
- Yeah, you don't like it. - No, it's mutilation.
Yeah. I was mutilated.
Yeah, and I feel bad for you.
I do too, but it looks so good.
- Oh, my God, shut up. - Like a soldier.
Look who just DM'd me.
Raysha? Who's Raysha?
This corny Uncle Tom designer who washes down
South Asian looks for the masses.
She wants to collab.
She's got a lot of followers.
You should do something with her.
I'd rather rim myself then sell my soul to someone this basic.
That actually doesn't sound that bad.
Ooh, I wish I could rim myself.
That does.
I'm not stooping to lower level for some extra attention.
Isn't that what you told him to do earlier?
Capitalise on the capitalisers?
Oh my God, I'm freezing my nipples off.
There's no clout in line-waiting. Let's go.
Back of the line.
Nah, it's cool. I know, Sunny. We're on the list.
Don't know no Sunny.
Hey, get that camera out my face.
No, it's cool. It's for the clout.
Oh, really?
Back in the line.
Bro, can you at least check the list?
I could, but you still won't get in without girls.
- Yo. - Oh, shit.
Thought you were a dude. You dress like one.
(door opening)
Oh shit. What up?
Bouncer: My man.
What's up, D?
- You know these guys? - Yeah, man, they're good.
They're good, reach.
Don't look at me, Build-A-Bear.
♪
I told you this place is lit.
Okay, I gotta go back to work, eh?
I'll catch up with you guys later.
Just keep it moving.
Let's go get a drink.
(music blaring, people cheering)
Hey, is that for me?
(people shouting)
Hi, hello. Can we get a-- Sorry, can we get-- Excuse me!
Hello?
Dude, I'm totally getting profiled.
Where's Neal? I need some of his whiteness.
What are we drinking?
- Shots? - Shots?
Yo, this place is really rubbing off on you.
You know what? I think I got this.
How many shots?
- Two? - Two?
You're trying to look big time with two shots?
Well, there's two of us. I'm just, like, doing the math.
Orgasm blush?
Your lipstick is called orgasm blush, right?
Looks amazing on you.
Thanks. I really love your outfit, by the way.
What can I get you guys?
10 kamikaze shots.
10 shots? Who's going to pay for that?
First three are on me.
Can we cancel the other seven?
Alright, might as well film this.
Yeah, getting shots. I'm at the club with my girl, Chip--
(grunting) Thanks, babe. Boys! Shots!
Alright, I'll just edit that out.
♪
Are your fingers in our shots?
It's the only way I can hold them.
Ew, that's disgusting.
No, no. The alcohol actually acts as a sanitizer.
- You're an idiot. - Sorry.
Oh, shit. Over here.
Sorry, we booked this.
Oh, my god. Alright, this one.
Okay.
This table's booked!
Dude, you gotta be kidding me.
Hey, have you guys seen sign guy?
The universe is trying to tell me something.
Have you been doing drugs without us again?
Look, there he is.
So the universe is telling you happy birthday
four months too late?
No, that's my White Rabbit. I'm supposed to follow it.
The Matrix is real. I'm Neo, dude. I knew it.
- I'm fucking Neo. - No, you're Neal.
And that sign is for Neil with an I.
You're Neal with an A, dude, which never made any sense.
You're a double E Neel. Harneel.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Keep it moving.
Oh, shit. What are y'all doing standing here?
This walkway's booked.
Even the walkway?
Yeah, man. I gotta have club real estate.
You know this.
Dude, aren't you working?
Why do these shots taste like aloo gobi?
- Hey, you having fun, bro? - Please don't hit me.
We're not here to have fun. We're here to raise his clout.
Yeah, and we're failing. Oh, fuck!
Especially since we have nowhere to stand, dude.
Say less. Come with me.
The club is like a primal place.
The DJ is like the drums, the drinks are the elixirs.
Each booth is a tribe.
Once you understand that, you're ready.
Ready for what?
The VIP section.
Oh, shit. See?
This is what I'm talking about, man. Yes!
I told you I got you.
Bro, thank you. Oh, my God.
Chippy: Oh, good. Here come the mascots of the patriarchy.
Sunny: Yea, yea!
We about to get fucked up!
Whoa, they allow sparklers in here.
I wish I brought mine.
♪
Bro, how long does this go on for?
I don't know, man. I never timed it.
I feel bad though.
Can't we just, like, tell them to put the bottles down?
They look like big bottles, bro.
Neal: I feel bad recording them.
Yeah, look at her. She's exhausted.
She's literally about to pass out.
Nah, bro. She can flip tires on my yard.
♪
I have to follow that sign.
- No. - I'm Neal.
- Bro, we just got here. - I'm Neal!
- Chippy: Jas, let him go. - Don't worry, yo, take a seat.
So, who's paying for all this?
- Aren't you? - What?
Relax, this bottle's only, like, four bills.
$400?! Bro, is this bottle, like, $40 at the LCBO?
DJ: Yo, yo, yo! Quick shout out to my boy Sunny,
and his boy "Jasmit..." Mitt?
I can't read that shit.
Jasmine. Round of shots for the club on Jasmine!
(All cheering)
Dude, what the shit, man?
Don't you get like a dollar a view or some shit?
Oh my God. Again, that's not how it works.
Thanks. So, do you actually like doing this?
Doing what?
Dancing around like a prop while dudes ogle you.
I mean, I'm really not trying to slut-shame you.
Be a ho. By all means, be a ho.
I got you, but it does make great tips
and sometimes a hot girl ogles you.
But don't you feel like a sellout?
By raising my value?
Last week, I served a Sephora exact who wants to put me
in an ad for his makeup line.
Your makeup does look good.
Mm-hm.
And once that pops up, I'll ditch this place,
but for now, I'm just trying to collect my bag
and have fun while I do it.
You have Insta?
You trying to slide into my DMs?
Absolutely.
Slide in soon.
Jasmeet: But that's what I'm saying.
It's not like each view's a dollar.
There's ads and people clicking.
- You get a percentage of-- - Oh, shit.
Look at that booth with all those bitches.
Choclair, baby!
Oh, my God. He's a legend.
Yo, we gotta get a picture with him.
Say less. It's done, bro.
For real?
Yeah!
Alright.
♪
Hey! Hey, it's you!
It's me. It's Neal. I'm here.
Neal who!? Oh, did we fuck?
No! I've been looking for you all night.
I'm Neal from the sign. What's it all about?
What do I do now?
This? No, this is the promo for a movie.
The cast and crew are having a wrap party.
Simu Liu plays Neal and God.
Oh, cool.
Yeah. Sorry, man.
You want poppers?
Yeah!
Look in my pocket!
Okay.
This is the red pill.
Fuck yeah!
You're Morpheus.
I'm Morpheus!
- Yeah! - I'm Morpheus. Yeah!
Who's Morpheus?
(people laughing)
♪
Bouncer: (muffled) Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Keep it moving. No dudes.
You know me, man. I'm Sunny's boy.
Bro, Sunny who? Let's go.
♪
Shit's heavy anyway.
(urinating)
Man: Crosby has more heaters than Ovechkin.
Buddy, you're zooted.
Buddy, are you fucking sauced?
He could dangle the fuck out of him.
The guy's just jerkin it.
How about that sweet bird, though, eh?
Oh, buddy, she wanted me.
But her beat friend cock-blocked me.
Buddy, no fucking shot you would get that chick, okay?
Guys a fucking heater.
Buddy, ask how your sister's doing.
She's got my calves or from the other night.
- (laughing) - You really want to go?
(bros shouting)
- That's not cool, man. - No, that's cool, bro.
- That's cool. - Guys, guys, guys. Come on.
(bros shouting)
(people chattering)
(coughing)
That's you, right?
Yeah, stay outta the dick, though.
And it's circumcised.
I'm Javi.
I'm one of the ad execs for Girth Energy, man.
We sponsored this whole thing.
- Oh, cool. - I saw you in there.
You know, your bottles, buyin' everyone shots.
Asked the bouncer who you were, looked you up.
It's good shit dude.
You watch my videos in the club?
Yeah. That shit's a boring clout fest, man,
but you entertained me, you got a great look.
Oh, shit. Thanks, man.
We're going to shoot a commercial.
I think you would be great for you.
You got an agent.
Ah, nah, man. I don't.
You know what? We're on a time crunch,
you can just swap info and you and I could just
close this thing quickly if you want.
Honestly, I want more details, you know?
I just want to make sure it's something cool
and I'm not just, like, a diversity plug, you know?
Oh yeah, yeah, no, I hear you, man,
but just trust me, it's going to be tasteful.
You know, it's going to be like a real mix of
authentic cultures, cool, high energy.
Show of good faith, how about I comp the whole night?
Everything. Drinks, bottles, whatever you want.
Whatcha think?
Seriously?
Yeah.
Oh, dude, that would be incredible.
Sweet, man. Alright, do you mind if I just and then--
Oh, is she good?
Probably not, but... Alright, I'll be back.
- Okay. - Okay.
(woman retching)
Girth Energy is more than a product.
It's a lifestyle.
Ugh, not the lifestyle slogan.
Hi.
Hey.
You must be Jasmeet.
I'm Rebecca.
Oh, nice to meet you.
Are you part of the crew or--
What kind of person do you know that walks around like this?
Okay, so you're the other talent in this thing?
The other star. Yes.
Star, huh?
We are what we are.
Okay. Okay. I see you.
So, Rebecca is your real name or a nickname?
Because I mean, you are Brown, so...
Yeah, I'm Punjabi-Christian.
Oh, sounds like an oxymoron.
(laughing)
Yeah, I mean, we're out here, small in numbers.
And you're sure you're not just, like, Sikh people
who really love Christmas.
No, no. Stop.
Hey, so, do you know what we're doing for this thing?
Just that I'm dancing and you're playing the tabla,
and the rest they're going to figure out in post.
Nice. I love how direct you're being about this.
Yeah.
I like your watch.
My boyfriend has the same one.
Okay. Not subtle, direct. I can respect that.
Hey, I'm just trying to be clear.
- That's fair. - (laughing)
Hey, just spoke with the director.
I need you to you to wear this.
What's wrong with what I have on right now?
We just need you to fit the vibe of the scene we created.
(sighing)
I don't know if I'm comfortable wearing that.
That looks like a really tacky kurta.
I mean, you could have just told me.
I would have brought one of my own kurtas.
All good if you back out, you just won't be paid,
and you signed a contract, so you'll be liable
for delay costs, okay?
(sighing)
Hey, I'm sure you'll find a way to make it look good.
Oh, really? Little old me.
Okay, never mind. I take that back.
You're screwed.
(sighing)
Hey, at least we're in it together.
(yawning)
Announcer: Low energy? Can't seem to pack a punch?
No sweat.
We got you covered.
(grunting)
Man: Ariba!
("Mexican Hat Dance" playing)
(sitar music playing)
♪
(shouting)
(playing tabla)
Announcer: Girth!
Girth.
Ariba!
(elephant trumpeting)
(grunting)
Girth!
Girth Energy.
What the shit?
(phone vibrating)
Hello?
Rebecca: Did you watch it?
What? Sorry. Who is this?
Rebecca: We sold our souls for money last week.
We shamed our ancestors.
Oh, wow! Rebecca? Yeah, holy shit.
What was that? Did we get played?
We totally got played didn't we?
Rebecca: It's not that bad. Kay, it's pretty bad,
but I've done worse.
Worse than this demo reel of racism?
Rebecca: Yeah, there were red flags.
They kept asking us to "try something different."
Oh, my god. I felt like they were gaslighting us
to do something tropey.
(sighing) We didn't stand a chance.
Rebecca: Well, hey, at least we're taking chances
and getting our faces out there.
I mean that's what I thought too,
but now I'm going to get clowned on the internet
for this bullshit?
Rebecca: Well, it got me to check out your videos
and you're pretty good.
Huh. Okay.
Listen, I know this all sucks,
but everything leads to something.
Yeah, true. True, true, true.
Um, so let's change our names and move to different continents
and hide our faces in shame forever?
Rebecca: Okay, stop.
I mean, we can also get facial reconstruction surgery
if it's in the budget.
- Rebecca: Okay, can we? - Yeah. No, no, no, it's great.
I heard Malaysia has, like, really great hookups on that.
- Rebecca: Oh, did you? - Yeah, look into it.
- Rebecca: Okay. - I got an uncle that
- lives in Malaysia. - Rebecca: Okay.
Yeah, I'll just ask him. I'm sure he knows a guy.
- Rebecca: He knows a guy? - All we have to do is, like,
basically pay for our flights there.
- Rebecca: Oh, that's nothing. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And, and we'll get those Masala--
- Malaysian Masala peanuts. - Rebecca: Mm.
Jasmeet: Dude, can you imagine how good those are?
- (Rebecca laughing) - Jasmeet: Oh, my God.
I would go change my face literally every other month
just for those peanuts.
Rebecca: Okay, you're an idiot.
♪