A cheap, corporate-created U.S. import that's invading our country
and making it more generic every year?
No thanks.
Valentine's Day is the fast-food chain of holidays.
That's exactly the same face Máximo made when I told him
I didn't want anything cheesy today.
He's so cute.
And you two have been dating, what, nine days now?
Yes?
It's weird that you know that and I don't.
Who keeps track of a relationship like that?
How about you? Is Chad doing anything special?
Nah, he's not really that kind of guy.
We're just staying in tonight.
It'll be nice.
No hands!
I come here today to profess my love.
-What? -Not for you! For Lorena.
Your niece…
…my great, true love is leaving tomorrow.
Which is why I insist that you allow us to go on one date,
on this special day of love.
I will not take no for an answer.
I'll take this room!
I'll take some other room!
That's really loud.
I can turn the TV down.
I mean your chewing. It's so loud.
-I'm eating a banana. I'm hardly chewing. -Uh-huh.
And yet it still sounds like you have a mouth full of screws.
No. I can't hear anything. And look how close my ears are to my mouth.
Oh God, it feels so good to have a hook.
Oh, Esteban! Come talk to us. Please!
Happy Valentine's Day!
Now get out.
Get out?
If that's okay. I want to cook a surprise dinner for you.
I'm making pulpo enamorado.
Dammit, that was supposed to be a surprise.
Yes, mama…
Get out.
Fine.
But you need to come with me.
I need your help-- I didn't get him anything!
Yes, both of you go--
--I don't want you to see the heart-shaped flan I'm making.
Again?
We're going.
Flowers. Balloons.
Champagne. Rose petals.
This sucks, doesn't it.
It's total trash.
What do we do?
Chocolate covered strawberries!
Don Pablo taught me how to make a swan out of a napkin.
I could turn two towels into kissing swans on the bed.
Oh, sure. I can picture Mr. and Mrs. Teller now…
Oh, I'm sorry it's not as brilliant as "Chocolate covered strawberries!"
Why is it so weird between us?
We can't even be in the same room together.
I know, it is weird.
I miss being friends.
What happened?
What happened was the balcony…
MY LITTLE MAMA IS HOT!!!
Pleasure doing business.
Okay. Do you want to… talk about the balcony?
Yes! No. I mean…
You said what happened there was a mistake…
…and I agree.
Right. It was stupid.
So stupid. It was nothing.
Less than nothing! It didn't mean anything.
But it still happened! And it's driving me crazy.
And if I don't say what's been on my mind then
I'm going to explode, but I can't
because I can't tell anyone.
You can tell me.
No. I can't.
I'm embarrassed.
Here, put this over your eyes.
This is a weird time for a piñata.
No. If we don't have to look at each other,
it'll be easier to say what's on your mind.
Here, I'll show you.
I'm the one who ate Lupe's yogurt last week.
I feel so much better now!
Okay…my turn…
Here I go.
I've just been carrying this huge weight on my shoulders after that…
…kiss.
And I feel like I should tell Chad, but that could end our relationship;
and I feel I should tell Isabel, but that could end your relationship;
and I want to talk to you about it,
but it's made things so weird between us.
I just feel like I'm disappointing everyone no matter what I do.
I'm so overwhelmed.
It never happened.
What do you mean?
If it never happened, then you have nothing to hide from Chad or Isabel.
If it never happened, then you don't have to feel overwhelmed.
If it never happened, then…
…we can be friends again.
We're the only two people who were there.
It's our story to tell.
So all we have to do is say it didn't happen, and…
…it never happened.
It never happened.
Paris.
What?
The lights remind me of all the lights in Paris…
I think we still have some props left from that Model U.N. we hosted.
Right. The kitchen could make coq au vin and croissants…
Chad's got an antique record player that could look cool here…
Let's get started.
Ah, to be young and in love.
You know who those two remind me of?
You and that one with the skinny little legs, who worked in the gardens?
Mauricio.
May he rest in peace.
Those skinny little legs didn't help him out-swim that shark.
You used to look at each other the same way…
This must really take you back.
I know you don't like to talk to your mother about some things, but
I want you to know that I'm here for you.
Thanks. Let's just focus on getting Esteban's gift.
Do you think he'd like this?
Yeah, it's perfect.
Hello, my name is Esteban and I'm a REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE!
While staying under the speed limit.
And is there a seat belt on this thing?
Oh, come on, Sara. No.
It's more like this…
…pay attention.
Here goes…
I'm Esteban, the king of rock and roll!
But, if it's too loud, I can turn it down. Is that good?
You know what, I'll just turn it off.
Now this is starting to feel like Paris.
Have you ever been?
No, but I'm definitely going to live there someday.
Maybe show my clothes at Fashion Week.
Great. I'll visit you there in my private jet.
Great…I love them.
Hands up! It's the cool police!
Don't worry, it's not a real gun.
Although once I did get robbed by a man who just pointed his fingers at me.
But that's because it was very dark.
I need to get a picture of you. Where's the camera?
I think it's on my dresser.
Don't you dare take that off!
The food smells great!
Well, pulpo enamorado is a special recipe that's been in our family for generations.
It was carefully passed down from my great-grandmother to my grandmother,
and then from my grandmother to my mother, and then from my mother to me.
Every measurement must be precise. Every ingredient just so.
It's extremely complicated
so I made chicken.
That story is very…
Mom, what's taking so long?
The camera's right on the--
So we're supposed to spend Valentine's Day folding fitted sheets?!
You're so angry!
I love it.
And towels?! And pillow cases?!
Keep naming linens! It's so sexy.
And tablecloths?! And napkins?!
This is our last night together!
This. Will. Not. Stand.
"Enjoy your evening together - Lupe"
So this whole time,
it wasn't Máximo and Roberta,
it was… Roberta and you.
Sara, how could you do this?
-It's a sin! -But we--
What if people find out? What would they say?
I don't know--
Cool police!
You're under arrest for failure to report to dinner…
I can put some foil over it so it doesn't get cold.
And what about your future? How do you think you'll make a family?
There's nothing more important than that.
My life would be nothing without my children.
I don't know. I just--
I'm not sure I want a husband.
How would you know? You've never even tried to be with a boy!
I've never felt like trying.
I can't believe it!
What would your father say?
So sorry--
Where do you keep your foil?
I'll find it.
We did it.
How do you say "great work" in French?
Oh, it's [gibberish French sounds].
Well, [gibberish French sounds] to you too.
I'm glad we're friends again.
Me too.
They'll be here soon. Should we do a final walk through?
It's going to be okay. Here's what we'll do.
We'll pretend this never happened, we'll never speak about Roberta again,
and you'll grow out of this phase.
Phase? Mom--
You're a teenager. You're confused.
We'll forget this and move on.
Mom, listen to me! That's not--
I can't do that.
I don't want to do that.
It's a sin.
I can't have someone living in my home who…
continues to behave that way.
Well, I'm not going to live in a place where I have to lie about who I am!
Sara…
I can't accept that part of you.
Mom. I meant what I said.
It's not right.
I'm sorry.
I can't tell you that it's okay.
I'm sorry.
I hate you!
I know our plans aren't until tomorrow night,
but I wanted to drop by and give you these.
Chocolates. How…
…cheesy.
Not just any chocolate.
I stole each one of these chocolates off pillows in guest rooms at Las Colinas.
Just for you.
They're perfect!